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“Is fine, everything’s fine” Izuku said, with her arms around Ochako. “It’s okay, I got you”
It isn’t, there’s nothing okay in her.
She has been trying to get better, to move on. For Izuku, for her mother, her friends. For Himiko. But she hasn’t been worse.
War was 2 years ago; but she dreams about it like it was yesterday. She can’t get up off the bed or make small talk with the reporters, she just can’t.
“Breathe.” Says Izuku when he notices how Ochako starts to sob again, his arms losing his strong grip around Ochako. “No. No..” Ochako says, her breathing heavier. “Save her. Please.” She looks up to Izuku,her pupils dilated. Face wet with tears.
“She can’t die.” Izuku looks at her eyes. kindness. Love.“DO. SOMETHING!.” She remarks her words with a punch to Izuku’s chest. Izuku moves her around so her legs are around his hips, He wraps his arms around her waist and hugs her tight in the cold of the bathroom of Ochako’s apartment.Their apartment.
“she can’t die..she can’t..” she says against Izuku’s neck. She has wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I..Izuku” she says when she realizes where she is. “It 's fine.”
he says, her arms tightening around her. Now she is able to breathe. “It was just a flashback. Everything is alright” he whispers in her ear. Like this hasn't been her state since war. Since..- “I’m sorry. Imsosorry” she says against Izuku’s neck.More tears against Izuku’s neck.
“It’s fine ochako”
“No it’s not,” she says while trying to get herself out of Izuku’s hug. She locks eyes with him. There's tears in his face too. “You shouldn’t have to do this.” “You shouldn’t carry my baggage..” She successfully pushed him away. She gets up and looks at her face. Her nose is red and wet, like the rest of her face. Izuku is still on the floor; looking up at her. He takes her hand. She push his hand away
“Please Izuku..Don’t” She looks down to his eyes. He looks like a kicked puppy.
She knows that she should break up with him; but she finds the action impossible when he looks at her with that much love in his eyes.
She feels the guilt built up in her chest so she looks away.
She really can’t love him right now.
She runs out of the bathroom when she feels her eyes watering again.
“I can’t do this to him anymore” She thinks as she walks her way to their room.
—/—
Izuku takes almost an hour to get to their room. When he walks in Ochako is already in bed; her breathing hitches when he gets in the bed.
He gets closer to her but he don’t tries to touch her
They quickly fall asleep in the darkness of their room.
—/—
Maybe it's good that they have made it through this much time together.
Ochako really needed Izuku when they started dating
She still does.
But Izuku deserves happiness and gets over his own shit.
She knows that they aren’t going anywhere with this. With this relationship.
Izuku wasn’t made for dealing with her depression.
And she knows that there’s no way for Izuku to kiss away her shit.
But fuck if that makes it any easier to break up with him.
—/—
She wakes up screaming in the middle of the night.
When Izuku jumped in surprise she realised that it was only a bad dream. She gets her breathing even before she inevitably starts sobbing. Because of the same things. Again.
Izuku moves closer and hugs her from behind. His strong arms keep her together.
She turns around and gets her head over Izuku’s chest. His arms make his way around Ochako’s body in a very familiar way. Ochako looks up to Izuku with her tearful eyes and she finds Izuku already looking at her. Her cheeks get red before noticing that Izuku has been crying too.
Before she woke up.
Red all around his eyes.
He gives an upside down smile to her. One that she has never witnessed before. Without his bright teeth and fluttered cheeks.
She feels more tears run down her face.
Because she knows.
They really don’t need to say it out loud.
Cause they both know it’s the end.
So she tries a smile that she only gives to the poor crying people she saves. Her salted tears get to the corner of his mouth, making their way inside.
They Hug themself closer and Ochako dosen’t cries.
So the next day when Izuku is packing his things in a big box, she fakes her sadness.
They really don’t talk, and she wouldn’t know where Izuku was going if it wasn't for the note he gives to Ochako before making his way out of the apartment.
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"Dear Ochako,
I want you to know that I loved you all the time we were together.
Even when you cried all over me. I want you to know that I wish you the best. But t
hat doesn’t mean I’m sad because I think I'm doing the wrong thing;
I actually think this is better for both.
I’m going to stay at Kacchan’s apartment so don’t worry about that.
Don’t forget you can always count on me.
Yours sincerely, Izuku."
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And just then, Ochako lets herself cry for Izuku.
For the first time.
The end.