Chapter Text
When Obi-Wan and Satine arrived, Kalbit was the perfect little town to lay low at. The place was occupied by a mix of new Mandaloriand and farmers who held little love for death watch. Most were non-combatants or were too old to truly join any fights. It was nice, almost idyllic compared to the harsh months they endured beforehand.
Mandalore was at war and it's hot desert were often just as unforgiving as those wishing them dead. Any attempts at contacting Qui Gon Jinn or Adonai kryze failed so the two of them were truly on their own.
Despite all these difficulties, Satine still refused to touch a blaster with a five feet pole. A mindset that might be honorable between politicians but proofed useless amidst a battlefield. Truthfully it might even be better considering the girl never had any training or experience of handling a weapon but obi-Wan knew how quickly one could learn if survival is at risk.
After all he never held a blaster before his first war either.
Still they made it through. The few credits they made during their travels thanks to the occasional odd jobs or lucky steals were enough to book themselves into kelbits little inn for a week and paid food and rations for two so they decided to stay.
It was on their third day when obi wan, searching for opportunities to earn themselves some more credits, overheard two new Mandalorian discussing their plans to leave for coruscant in order to escape mandalores wars.
Nora and Andru were two new Mandalorian who had family in the core. Their trip was supposed to be in 2 weeks time right after their dear friend Kato, a 79 year old farmer turned 80. They called it their final celebration on this uncivilised war torn planet. Honestly no other couple could have been better to get Satine off planet with. So he approached them.
Unfortunately they were not happy about the video of a stranger with guns sharing their space for the trip. However, a son story about his dear sister wanting to go to school in the core convinced then in the end.
Of course the trip wouldn't be free they were required to pay for fuel, food and accommodation for it. Nora was a business woman after all and nothing is for free says Andru.
Obi-wan agreed.
_____
It started with Obi-wan doing whatever odd jobs he could find. Helping with crops, carrying boxes, sorting books. But It became apparent that it wouldn't be enough to get the fee for both of them on time. Additionally he would seel embroidery pieces made by satine.
He asked Satine for help which was cause for their current argument.
"This is the first time we have a resemblance of peace. If they see me and recognize me it we will have to flee again. I am tired of this. We were always able to get by like this why not anymore?"
"I know but this is our chance who knows when we will get another one. Please in not asking you to do anything crazy all I want is for you to sell your pieces so I can accept more jobs." if was a tiring argument. One they had for an hour now. An hour that he could have spend getting the little sleep he manages these days.
" You're acting like I'm doing nothing! This is work too obi-wan. Work I can do without talking to anyone or seeing anyone. Work I can do without risk and now you're asking me to take risks that could cost me my life? If this goes wrong you're ruining whatever chances we might have left!"
And really Obi-Wan saw the reasoning. He understood. But life doesn't move forward without risks. And if they don't take this risk they will not be able to get the money and go to coruscant. He already thought of these things which is what he told Satine as well.
"I know satine which is why I'm telling you to eliminate that risk by wearing a helmet. No one will bat an eye on a mandalorian wearing a helmet. This town has plenty of people walking around in various amount of armor pieces. It would be safe!"
Satine took a deep breath in response, a sign of another big scream incoming.
" No! You're are not only asking me to risk everything we got going right at this moment but you're also asking me to throw away everything I stand for. This is insane。 You are insane"
And obi-wan? He was tired. He spend the last hours carrying sacks of sand under the blazing sun. He didn't sleep two days in a row and he his feet were full of blisters. Force forbid he was tired. So he stopped arguing.
"Yeah. You're right, I apologise" he said. His voice quiet his gaze turned away. He didn't wait for a response just retreated to his sleeping corner and closed his eyes. He didn't miss her triumphant harumpf however.
_____
Life went on. Obi-wan filled the shelfs on the corner store every 3 days, carried sand and materials for a young couple building their first house together, sold embroidery, helped a nice old lady named Ricky by cleaning her house for her, cleaned dishes at kamis restaurant in exchange for food and argued with Satine every now and then. Sleep and food for himself became a luxury he was denied in exchange for his work.
It was OK. He just needed a little more, just a few more credits until safety.
In the end, the money they gathered wasn't enough. At least not for the both of them if they considered food and accommodation that they currently needed.
When the time finally came Satine went alone.
_____
Two days after Satines departure, Daeth watch raided Town. They made quick work of the few combatants in the area and stopped everyone else from leaving.
Times became harder, death watch controlled more and more of tge Town. They took their resources, forced them to do labor and didn't care much about the consequences as there were none for those in control.
Naturally this also meant a decline of people having enough to spend on hiring Obi-Wan as a helping hand. Life became harder.
_____
Weeks went by and with nobody calling Obi-Wan by his name anymore he slowly felt like loosing his identity. Slowly Ben felt like his real name. Obi-Wan became a distant past
___
The war kept going and with Kalbit being close enough to keldable to easily travel to the city but far enough away to be discovered it was only a matter of time until more death watch arrived.
The inn got taken over leaving Ben without a place to Stay. It wasn't too surprising yet it still hurt to spend the nights on tge harsh floors of the town. His muscles aches more and more, sleep wouldn't find him and his appearance became unkempt. Without a sure access to a wash he became dirty, his clothes ragged.
Non of the mandalorian he worked for took pity anymore. Death watch was cruel in its reign and anyone who came too close to true mandalorian mindsets were quickly eliminated. Their homes were takes as well as their beskar all with claims for it to now serve viszla the one true Mand'alor.
Of course they didn't go out without a fight but none of them were truly combatants. Most being already retired or simply never followed a profession that required use of force. They knew the basics, trained by their aliit at young but without practice skills become dull. They were no match Fully trained and experienced death watch warriors.
Those who remained were mostly new mandalorians who were easy to manipulate or scared into following. None of them felt the need to help the 15 year old on the streets.
With his unkempt appearance and status as homeless he lost most of the few errand jobs he had left after the invasion.
Food quickly became a luxury after that.
______
Another dry and hot week in Kalbit went by. Ben tried to stay away from kyr'tsad as best as he could but it became nearly impossible. The terrorists filled more and more if the city. There was barely any place left without them and Ben needed work.
Eventually he found himself sitting in his designated corner by the market place.
The little corner by the carpenter has been his since he started selling satines goods. The people of Kalbit knew to go there to find him should they need a hired hand.
Hours went by.
All the while, Ben asked whoever he recognised to have hired him before for more work. Some would look at him with pity and offer him some scraps which he gratefully took, others avoided his gaze in shame. The little he got wasn't enough but at least it was something.
He kept reminding himself that he was grateful for every little thing in life and that he had the force with him.
It didn't stop the cramps to his stomach and the feeling of weekness to his bones.
The hunger was different from the ones he felt on Bandomeer or Melidaan. While on both planets adrenaline, pain, work and fighting kept the hunger away the monotone nothingness that filled his days in Kalbit seemed to strengthen the Void in his stomach.
This didn't mean that he didn't do anything while he sat in his corner. The padawan learned to do all kinds of handicrafts just as any other child of the temple did. The ability to mend and work on their own clothes was crucial on many missions on the various abandoned sites they were send to.
However his embroidery wasn't as delicate as staines were and with kyrt'sad pressuring the townspeople few had the creda to spare on clothing. In other words his things barely sold and if they did it was for little more than the cost of materials needed to craft them.
Still the work kept his hands busy and in the midst of his hunger cramps and endless thinking that was a welcome distraction.
A shadow fell over Obi-wan stopping him in his spiral. He sat the pair of old pants he found in the trash and was currently mending aside to look up. His eyes met the visor of a kyrt'sad soldier.
The man was bulky, black armor hiding most of his features. Nothing of his face was visible but somehow the sharp edges of his black helmet felt wrong to Obi-wan. Even without seeing the man's eyes his gaze felt slimy and the padawab had to swallow down the urge to squirm.
None of the spoke a word as the soldiere bend down and picked up a blue shirt with black embroidery from the display front of the boy. Clothed hands flipped the fabric around observing it. The shirt was small, a size fit for a human child. Obi-wan watched as the man held it out in front of him.
Somehow it felt like he didn't look the tshirt, but it was hard to tell with the helmet
"How much" the mechanical voice was almost unexpected and Obi-Wan almost forgot to answer
Once he did, his voice came out scratchy, "3 credits"
The man hummed, visor once again focusing on the boy instead of the shirt. A noise that resembled a hum came through the helmets filters.
"It would suit you well boy"
"I- what?" Obi wan knew he was small but even starved down as he was now the top would be too small on him. It would cling to his skin and leave most of his midsection exposed. The different size should be obvious.
"How about a deal", even filtered his voice came out like a purr. It made obi-sans skin crawl "I'll give you 15 credits and you'll put it on and twirl around for a little show?"
It didn't make sense why would the man want to see him in ill-fitting clothes? What benefit would there be in seeing a term in too tight and short.... Oh.
The moment of realization hit him like a bucket of ice abd he could feel evry single hair on his body stand up. His muscles tensed up and his skin felt too tight all at once.
Obi-wan watched with bated breath as te man leaned down again this time further down towards him "I could also arrest you and have your little booth shut down for rebelling against Kyrt'sad."
Blood drained from the teens head and his ears started ringing. He couldn't afford getting into kyrt'sad custody, if they found out who he is -
It was just a shirt, a little bit of exposed skin and a small show. He could do this. 15 creds would give him food and clean water. It wasnt so bad. It's a good deal, right?
"OK." he found himself saying as if on autopilot. His voice barely a whisper.
"I'm glad you agree", this time the purr in the soldiers voice was more than obvious.
Obi wan watched, muscles tense in alarm as the man took out some credits before slowly leaning down once again to pass the over together with the shirt. Leather and beskar brushed his hands as he took It from him and time seemed to slow down as long as the touch lingered.
Chest tight and heart racing he couldn't help but stare at the blue fabric he now held.
"Go on boy, bet changed" The soldier didn't sound impatient but his tone of voice didn't leave room to disobey the order.
Obi-wans fingers moved as if possessed his mind somehow away from the situation. His own hands felt alien in the moment, as if moved by a different mind as he stood and took off his tunic. He barely noticed his own tremble all he could concentrate in was the man in front of him. Like prey watching a predator ready to run away at any given moment. Except there was nowhere to run to.
He hurried to put on the blue shirt as quickly as possible to cover as of his exposed chest as he could.
The shirt was tight, sleeves digging into his arms and fabric sticking to his chest. The motion of putting his head through the small holes was awkward.
Somehow it was worse than being shirtless. His arms hugged his middle in an attempt to cover up more of himself but the warning click from the soldiers had him put them to his sides quickly. He stood, frozen and feeling utterly exposed.
"Don't be shy boy you look good" the soldier said, yet obi wan never felt more ugly in his life. "Go on, twirl around I wanna see what I paid for"
Obi-wans did, because he had no other choice. It was just another way to earn his money, another way to stay alive. This was a form of survival.
"Move that hips of yours, i know you can". Once again the teen obeyed. Minutes felt like hours until the soldier finally let him go laughing to himself and promising a next time.
That night was the first time since melidaan that he slept with more than one knife in reach.
_________
A week passed and the next time the Kyrt'sad Soldier came he brought a friend. Once again Obi-wan was paid to twirl and danced. His skin started to feel like fire surrounding his bowls.
Over time It became a game for death watch to dress him up and make him dance, twirl and bend. Once the crowd of watching mandalorians became larger the touches started as well. Hands briefly brushing is exposed skin, hips grinding along his spine. Eventually the higher ups joined and made him sit on their laps.
Each ime Obi-wan was grateful for the little clothes he was allowed to wear. He was terrified of the day these clothes would leave him as well.
Kyrt'sad paid him every time, never good but always well enough to get by. Food wasn't a problem anymore, yet his stomach cramed more painful than hunger ever felt.
------
The people of Kalbit caught up to how he earned his money. How he survived. Some looked at him with pity, others with disgust.
Most stopped talking to them. He could feel guilt radiating from those who helped him before, sometimes even from those that never interacted with him. It became a new normal.
Sometimes the teen wanted to scream at them, tell them how he didn't have a choice, how he was just surviving. But he chose to stay silent instead.
There were times he contemplated fleeing from this cursed town. He dreamed of it. How he would run far away, find a come or a ship and fall into the welcoming arms of his master. He dreamed of the temple, the caring hands of his creche master, the stern looks of the healers, the light and sparkle that were his friends. All of it seemed so far away now, distant enoght that sometimes he doubted such peace had ever been reality for him.
But dreams ended he was once again faced with the reality that was Kalbit. The town was secluded enough to need a speeded to reach the next settlement. He and satin originally chartered a ride at with a supply trader going from town to town. With Kyrt'sad each trade was now heavily controlled.
He couldn't steal a speeded either. With the town being used as a Kyrt'sad base everything was fully controlled. Even if he managed to steal a speeder and get it outside of the towns border, the many guards keeping watch on the surroundings would spot him.
He was too well known as entertainment to simply hide away in town as well. They would notice his disappearance and hunt him down. He didn't want to imagine the consequences of defying them.
So he kept going and he kept surviving hoping that Qui gon would eventually come and find him. Praying that his master wouldn't be too late in his rescue.
Praying thar he wouldn't be abandoned again.
_____
It happened on his unofficial off day. The second day of the week was always Kyrt'sads meeting day and no outsiders were allowed then. In other words no one requested his entertainment and he could relax.
It was raining and the teen was returning from the market. His clothes were already soaked and clinging to him when rought hands grabbed his waist, stopping him from going further.
The modulated voice to his ear was familiar. Recognisable as one of his most influential 'customers'.
"Surely you know what a boy like you does to a man like me when wearing such clothes"
Before obi wan could respond he was guided to the corner, hands on his butt and neck. He felt frozen and hot at the same time. Rain dropped from his hair and he watched each drop fall as he was pushed against a wall.
He barely registered as the soldier took off his helmet, dark hair and green eyes a scar around the mouth and a stubble of a beard greeted him. Their smile felt wicked, predatory in a way that was impossible to describe. Yet, obi wan knew that it would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Sharp teeth nibbled is ears when the man spoke again. "Let me show you what you do to me boy. You gotta take responsibility for doing this to me"
Heavy hands fell on his shoulders. They pushed and pushed until the teen finally fell to his knees the rough gravel digging through the fabric. One hand left his shoulder watering towards a cod piece, removing beskar while the other kept pushing and putting him down.
Eventually they gripped his hair pulling him - obi-wan snapped.
If you asked him later he wouldn't be able to recall grabbing the knife in his shoe as all he saw was red. Red that covered and hushed out of the exposed area between beskar. Not a second later a blaster shot rang through the alley and the Kyrt'sad fell lifeless down to the ground, joining the teen in the gravel. Dead. Shot clean in the head. The Blood joined together with the red by his stabbed genitals.
It was pure instinct that had Obi-wan grab another knife, this one hidden at his calf, and turning to the newcomer. Snarling and ready to throw it. It wouldn't do much against a blaster but the force was still with him. He could doge. His cover was blown either way, the consequences of attacking a kyrt'sad soldier would be severe. He knew he had to use every resource available to him now to flee. To survive.
But the newcomer didn't attack, didn't even aim the blaster anywhere near him. No they held their arms up in surrender lowering themselves to the ground while muttering reassurances of safety.
All of a sudden obi wan didn't know what was going on anymore....