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It started with a message. A simple “Hey, me and Remus are thinking of adopting.” but lacking all the punctuation you’d expect from a 21 year old man.
Regulus and Sirius haven’t been back in contact for long, a mere year after five years of cold, aching silence that had followed after four years of arguments and insults. When Sirius had run away at 15 years old Regulus had been filled with a distant sort of resentment, one that was almost ignorable if Barty was screaming in his ear loud enough, which he usually was. The first year Sirius had taken up all of his thoughts and then had slowly set back into haunting the depths of his mind, only reappearing in full when violently reminded of him. Of course it hadn’t taken much to remind Regulus of his older brother who had practically raised him but it was an improvement. Or at least Pandora had said so.
Walburga and Orion Black had a way of pitting the boys against each other, rewarding one more than the other and punishing said other even harder. An unhealthy rivalry had been set upon them completely unwillingly from a very young age but that had not stopped them from loving each other, cleaning wounds left by their parents and sharing meals when one boy had been denied food as a punishment. Time and time again they had prepared to heal or cover injuries, unfortunately this had not made them ready to shield each other and themselves from the psychological warfare their parents constantly put them through, it had not stopped Walburga from digging her unforgiving claws into her youngest’s trusting mind.
Regulus had taken a lot longer than Sirius to realise that their parents were not doing all this to try to prepare them for the real world as Walburga suggested. After all, it was Regulus and not Sirius who had seen their mother clutching an old school picture, showing a much younger Walburga with her arms wrapped around another girl who he had not recognised, while tears silently ran down her rigid face. Does this make any of what Walburga did to her own children right? Of course not and Regulus believes he knew that somewhere within him but he had always empathised too much with his mother, looking at her and finding a rougher and more worn version of himself looking back. Regulus had watched his mother as she watched her own brother, who had always been far too much like Sirius, and recognised the feeling in her eyes as one of his own. Longing. Sirius and Uncle Alphard had always had something that Walburga and Regulus had not, courage.
For that same reason, it was Sirius and not Regulus who had packed his bag and finally left, sending one last pleading glance to his brother who had only turned away as the door clicked shut. For a while it had been a game of who could ignore the other the best, both still attending the same boarding school and Regulus only being one year below.
Silence had followed and it was only at 18, when Walburga had gotten life threateningly sick and demanded Regulus come home from University and never go back, that he realised that his mother would always put herself before her children, empathy and shared agony would not change his mother and could not make her love him how he needs to be loved. Despite this revelation, he did come home and he sat beside his mother while she withered away and stared at the wall as the final breath of Walburga Black rattled itself into the air. The night of his 19th birthday he called a number, that had long since been thrusted into his hand by a rushed James Potter the day of Sirius’s year's graduation, to invite his brother to their mothers funeral. Shockingly, the next day Sirius had dragged himself up the path of the church yard and stood beside his brother as their mother was lowered into the ground. When Sirius asked him to walk to a cafe nearby with him, he followed.
They hadn’t spoken often in the last year other than the occasional checkup and birthday or Christmas wishes but it was a massive development from previous years. Even after the adoption message there hadn’t really been much more conversation, partly due to Regulus thinking Remus and Sirius were still too young to be having children but that’s neither here nor there.
Only when they had brought the child home and Regulus’ brother had asked him to come meet his new niece had things really begun to change.
Currently, Regulus is sitting rather awkwardly looking down at Lyra Black-Lupin in his arms while Sirius and Remus say goodbye to the Potters who are filing out one by one. He’d been shocked to find that Sirius had stuck with the star theme for the name and even more baffled she hadn’t just been named Lupin, but apparently Sirius had thought that both would’ve made their mother roll in her grave. He’d be correct.
It’s odd to look at this baby and think how she’s Sirius’s. Regulus has watched that man spend an hour looking at his hair, trip down a flight of stairs and throw himself onto the floor in a fit of dramatics. But perhaps it’s less confusing when he thinks of how Sirius had put plasters over Regulus’s grazed knees and brushed his hair when Regulus couldn’t stop the pain of pulling on a knot. Sirius will be a good father, that at the least he is certain of.
Lyra’s golden hair reminds him of Narcissa but her blazing steel grey eyes could be one of a Black. Regulus gazes at her with his eyes furrowed and she does nothing but giggle which only makes him more confused, what is there to laugh about? Children find joy in the oddest of places. A small hand gently curls around his pinky that’s laying over her stomach and Regulus doesn’t notice his face go softer. He studies her for a moment, this is his niece. Regulus is an uncle. How strange is that?
His train of thought is ruined as he notices someone standing in the doorway, he glances up to meet his brother's eyes that are much too contemplative for his liking. “Where’s your other half?” Regulus asks, more quiet as usual as to not set off Lyra.
“Gone for a nap.” Sirius creeps into the room, sitting opposite Regulus.
“Not getting much sleep then I imagine?”
“No,” Sirius chuckles and Regulus’s body relaxes. He hadn’t even noticed how tense he was. “She’s not too bad with sleeping to be honest, Lily keeps warning me that’ll change fast but I’ll take it for now,” Regulus hums in the response and both look down at the now sleeping baby. “What do you think then?” Sirius questions after a beat and Regulus rolls his eyes.
“What do I think? Sirius, she’s a baby not a new phone!” His brother is an idiot.
“Oh shut it! You know what I mean.” Sirius waves his hands around as if that somehow makes it any clearer.
“I don’t think I do.”
“You’re far too opinionated to not have something to say, Reg.” Sirius gives him a look as though Regulus is being difficult on purpose.
“What does it matter what I think?” Sirius doesn’t respond just to be an ass and Regulus sighs. “She’s very… cute.” Sirius guffaws which he really doesn’t get.
“Never heard that before. Very original honestly-”
“Fuck off! She is! Not sure what you want me to say. She’s my niece and she’s a baby. Of course I think she’s adorable.” Sirius smiles and leans back as Regulus twitches around a bit.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say the word adorable,” Regulus opens his mouth to intervene but Sirius powers on. “But really, what do you think?”
“I’ve already said I think you’re both a bit young for all this-”
“Lily and James had Harry when they were nineteen-”
“On purpose?” That shuts Sirius up and Regulus takes a deep breath. “I do think you’re too young. But you’re not that young. And I am…” He focuses on his big brother who’s unusually still. “I am happy for you. She’s perfect. I already know you’ll be a much better parent than they were.” Sirius looks back at him and for a moment they’re 13 and 14 again, making plans on what they’ll do when they get out of their parents' hellscape of a house.
“Thank you,” The quiet laps over them softly, encompassing them lovingly for just a few minutes. “You’ll come back next week then?” Sirius asks, leaning forward and voice reflecting his poorly veiled hope.
“If you’d have me.” Regulus responds slowly.
“Always. You can always come here. You always could’ve come to me. I never would’ve turned you away, even if that wasn’t really the message I was putting across.” Sirius states solidly without hesitation.
“I would’ve gone to you first. If I’d left before she did I would’ve gone to you first.” Reassurances that are years too late is all they can give each other, that’s all that’s left to give. Perhaps in the future they will not have to give each other solace, maybe they’ll both already be there, standing side by side when things go wrong, as they are bound to go wrong. Just as they’re bound to argue again, one short brief conversation cannot fix nearly enough but it can put a small bandage over the wound until they’re ready.
“You’re here now. I asked you to come and you did, that’s enough.” And for now it is.