Chapter Text
Sua finds a stray puppy—hidden behind an overflowing trash can inside the alley connected to the bakery she frequents whenever she likes to indulge in a little dose of sugar without worrying about gaining too much weight.
She reaches out gently, but the puppy bares its teeth at her, and tries to hide its shaken and dirty body more behind the trash can.
“It’s okay, you can come out”, she says gently as she removes her school blazer, not caring one bit about the heavy rain that’s slowly making her clothes stick to her body. The puppy sniffs at her blazer, and slowly emerges from its hidden place behind the trash can, tempted by the warm shelter her school blazer provides.
Once it fully emerges, Sua carefully warps it on her blazer, it sniffs at her more once she carries it on her hands, and Sua tries to quicken her steps to reach the car so she can get the puppy treated—judging from its appearance, it must’ve fought with some strays and got outnumbered.
“Head to the closest open vet, immediately!”, she says with urgency as soon as she enters the awaiting car parked beside the alley.
“Yes ma’am”
She sighs in relief at her driver’s unquestioned stance, she’s beyond grateful that he’s one of the kindest ones, and doesn’t report to her mother her every move—he has a daughter same age at her, full of ambition and dreams, he would say whenever she inquires about his strange behaviour towards her (teenagers needs to rebel a little in order to grow, and I’d like to see you grow into a strong lady in the future), she smiles faintly at the memory, and feels a little guilty for forgetting to bring him his usual favourite pastry, the sight of the injured puppy, drenched in the rain made her so upset that she abandoned her bags and got running towards it with a bleeding heart, (Your kindness is your only weakness)—Her father words yet again proves themselves to be true as she feels her stomach grumbles in hunger, she skipped lunch because she was planning on indulging in some chocolate-filled croissant, she holds her stomach in annoyances, but nothing can be done now, she’ll have to wait until dinner, and it’s not like she’s never gone longer without any food in her.
“Let’s share a warm meal later”, she whispers to the whimpering puppy that’s laying comfortably in her lap, oddly content, with its nose occasionally sniffing at her, as if comforting itself with her familiar scent—despite just meeting, it seems attached to her, and honestly, Sua feels the same towards it.
Looks like you’ll be staying with me for a while.
—
Sua returns home a little past midnight.
And on most days, that wouldn’t be an issue, her mother usually stays out late partying with friends or negotiating business on fancy hotels far away from home—there’s no one to chide her about curfew or inappropriate late night activities, no one to care about her well-being.
Her mother isn’t a bad person, she’s a bit controlling, a narcissistic even, but not purposely bad to her.
Sua really tries to see her point of view, to sympathise with her even. Losing her husband at such a young age, dealing with a nearly crumbling business empire and a misogynistic society that looked down on single mothers, and women in general—even the strongest people would crumble under such pressure.
“Sua? Dear, is that you?”
Speak of the devil.
She turns around, her hands shaking slightly as she tries to hide the puppy under her shirt, ignoring the way it keeps popping it head back as afraid of being suffocated by her.
“Yes?”
Her mother raises her eyebrows, mouth curling in displeasure, “Why the long face? You think I won’t let you keep it?”
Sua’s gaze snaps back to her mother, her eyes shining hopefully as she watches her mother walk leisurely towards her.
“Let me see it”, she says calmly, while extending a hand towards her, her voice not raising in the slightest, yet, Sua still feels a chill running down her spine.
She slowly lifts her shirt, and the puppy pops its head fully up, still whimpering, still shaking, and it looks up at her mother and bares its teeth, letting out a quiet hiss, trying to look intimidating, despite its small and malnourished stature.
Her mother doesn’t react much, doesn’t yell, or raise her voice, she doesn’t need to anyway, they are the only two people here. And Sua always listens to every single sound her mother utters, always watching, waiting with bated breath for her next move.
“Throws it away”, she says, as she walks back to the couch, she sits comfortably and grabs her mug, takes a sip, and savours it, as if this insignificant event isn’t worthy of her attention.
Sua doesn’t move an inch, her eyes get filled with tears, but she doesn’t shed any, she knows better than to do so, her mother would latch onto any signs of weakness, any cracks on the mask, and she would stomp on it, break it apart, and force her to wear a new one, a bigger and more restricting one, one that she molds perfectly to fit into what she considers a perfect daughter.
So she doesn’t cry, not yet, she holds her ground and tries to fight the lump forming in her throat, a minute passes, and then another, the puppy whimpers again, growing impatient as it continues to squirm on her tight hold.
“What?”, her mother chuckles, not cruelly, she probably just finds the whole thing amusing, a cute little tale she would tell her friends over dinner and some drinks. My little Sua tried to keep a stray, can you believe that?
“Don’t tell me you’ve grown attached? Come on, i taught you better than that”
She certainly did—that’s why she turns around, opens the door of the mansion, and lets the puppy fall to the ground, the sound of the impact loud on her ears, and she slams the door quickly before the puppy tries to crawl back in.
“Good girl”, her mother coos at her, opening her arms wide for her to crawl into, “come here, baby”
And she does just that, she throws herself into her mother’s embrace, her face buried in her chest, smelling her strong perfume and choking on it, she shuts her eyes and tries not to dwell too much on the way her mother’s bony hand pats gently on her head—rewarding her pliantness with even more gentleness.
“One day, you’ll be grateful, you’ll say thank you Mama, for raising me so well, for making me into such a big and strong girl”
Sua dreads the day her mother's words come true.
—
Sua has been eyeing the buffet for half an hour now.
Her dress is too stuffy—a result of her frequent visits to the bakery, and late nights binging. Her legs have long become numb from standing too long on her pointy heels that her mother insisted that she wears especially for the occasion, her face hurts from smiling too much, throat dry from forcing up too many small talks with her mother’s many friends and acquaintances.
“Sua, dear, why don’t you head with Alex to grab a bite while me and his father converse for a bit?”, says her mother with a forced sweet tone that she only displays around other people.
She nods her head, more than happy to escape to a more secluded corner. She doesn’t spare her companion another glance as she heads to the buffet and grabs a plate—her mother’s warning gaze completely forgotten as she begins to fill it with different types of food, she hums in satisfaction as she takes her first bite, her stomach finally settles, and she feels herself immediately relaxing as a result.
“So any plans for the future?”, says Alex, or whatever his name is, clearly trying to get to know her better—Sua knows he’s operating according to his father’s wishes, same to her with her mother, because both of them look like they’d rather die than interact with each other.
“I’m not sure”, she mumbles quietly, more interested in the chocolate parfait that’s currently being served.
Alex says in annoyance, “Look, I know you also don’t like this”, he says empathising the last part, “But I wouldn’t hear the end of it from my father if I don’t make any progress with you tonight”
“And that concerns me, because?”
“Because I saw the look your mother gave you just now”
She puts her plate down, and faces him fully, he’s not that bad looking, surprisingly, Sua can admit that at least—with a set of wide grey eyes and a natural golden hair that curls around his ears, some girls might even compare him to a prince, a mixed one, with a handsome face and delicate stance. But he’s far from her type.
Unless he had a bigger chest and a vagina instead of balls, she might give him a chance then.
“You have my full attention now”, she says sarcastically
He bites his lips, as if wanting to shoot her an insult, but thinking better of it, he shakes his head, and says instead , “My friend is having his birthday party on his dad’s yacht tonight, wanna join?”
Her refusal dies quickly on her lips, because why would she? But her gaze finds her mother’s from across the room, watching her like a hawk, and she thinks she’ll rather fall from said yacht and drown in the ocean than be subjected to whatever hell her mother has planned for the rest of the night.
“Sure”
Alex, clearly not expecting her to agree, looks taken back, but quickly composes himself as he says, “cool, meet me outside in twenty minutes”
—
Alex's friend is everything Sua expected, and more. Obnoxious, loud, and smelling like dirty money and niche-expensive perfume that only a total of five people ever heard of.
Sua greets him out of politeness, she’s the one crashing his party after all, and he tries to rob her into every single topic of conversation known to man in the span of five minutes, varying from politics to literature, to the latest trends in fashion. By the time she escapes his clutches, she feels her forehead pulsing, his annoying voice still grating painfully on her ears as she nurses a cup of whatever alcohol the bartender slammed in front of her once she got herself seated on the mini bar.
Thankfully, apart from Alex, who feels unreasonably responsible for her (as his estimated guest) no one approaches her further, which she is more than thankful for, as she needs a minute to herself after whatever the hell that friend of his had put her through.
She watches absentmindedly, a pair of lovers making out on the rear end of the deck, the boy slams the girl’s back on the railing, trapping her against it, and even from afar, Sua can see the reaction the rough movement pulls out from said girl, heads tipping back, mouth ajar with a noise that is so loud that Sua can hear it amidst all the noise of the party, her hands pull her lover impossibly closer, as if she can’t get enough of him.
Sua averts her gaze shyly once she sees the first layer of clothing start to fall on the ground—only to meet the eyes of another bystander, the other girl smirks at her, and she flushes to the tip of her ears at being caught staring so intensely.
It’s not my fault that they were going at it with so many people around.
The other girl slowly makes her way towards her, and Sua turns her attention towards her half empty glass, she tips her head back and drinks the rest of it in one go, the alcohol burning her throat as it goes, but it settles her nerves a little, and by the time the other girl reaches her, she can fully blame the blush on her face on the alcohol.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you around before, are you a friend of Ivan?”
Her face wrinkles in disgust against her better judgment, she schools it quickly back to its usual nonchalant demeanour, but the other is quick to notice the subtle change.
She chuckles, “He must’ve annoyed the shit out of you for you to pull such a face”
Sua is quick to deny the accusation, afraid of offending the other girl, judging by her words, she and Ivan must be close.
“It’s okay”
“Really?”, the other girl says unbelievably, she leans forward, forearm resting on the bar beside the empty glass Sua drank from earlier, “I know he can be a lot to handle”, her gaze suddenly turns sharp, voice going down an octave as she learns forward more, invading her space as if what she’s about to say is something no other person aside from them deserves to hear.
“Especially for such a timid girl like yourself”
Sua pretends to not understand the underlying meaning behind the girl’s words, as she says, “He was a pleasant company, I would’ve loved to chat with him more, but he seemed busy”
That, surprisingly, draws a laugh from the other girl, a full belly giggle that continues to grow louder by each second that passes.
Sua watches in fascination, as she throws her head back, pink strands falling across her face, she takes a long breath, trying to calm herself down, but fails as she looks at Sua’s stunned face, which in turn makes her giggle more.
“W-what?”
The other girl says between giggles, “Ivan? A pleasant company? Please”, she wipes the tears in the corner of her eyes as she says, “You’re so funny, I like you”
Like me?
You’ve done nothing but make fun of me since the moment we met.
The other girl suddenly calm down, and her demeanour became more serious, “I really do, you seem nice”, she says extending a hand, “I’m Mizi, chatting with you has been a pleasure”
Ahh, it seems I’ve said that out loud.
She grabs her hand, and immediately notices the size difference between them (it’s nothing new, most people are bigger than her anyway) but she can’t help but feel so small in comparison to the other girl, so weak and helpless, as if the other girl ever so desired, she could crush her in an instant, like an ant. (And Sua, would gladly let her)
Mizi leaves her soon after that, a couple of her friends calling out for her to prepare for Ivan’s surprise gift as the hour start sticking closer to midnight, Alex comes to check on her again, she waves him off, not minding that the party might not end till noon the next day, apparently, the yacht is destined to stop at a remote island owned by Ivan’s parents, and from there it’s probably another round of drinks and dancing on the shore.
She leans her back against the railing, finding peace on gazing at the night sky, it's a little bit too cold in the middle of the sae, but Sua doesn’t find herself minding much, the slight chill clears her mind, and she finds herself swaying gently with the sound of music, her thoughts briefly circle back to her mother, and how she left the venue without notifying her, she’s probably losing her mind, but Sua can probably come with an excuse about networking or strengthening her relationship with Alex, her mother would have no reason to yell at her if she knows she was buttering up with one of her dearest business acquaintances.
The light suddenly turns off, and the music stops, the sounds of whispers and giggles fill the place instead, no doubt in preparation for Ivan’s surprise.
Someone bumps against her, and she steadies herself by holding on to the railing, it’s too dark to see, so Sua can’t practically fault them, she’s standing too far to the edge, so she tries to move to the middle of the deck for safety reasons. She bumps against a couple of people on her way, and they voice their annoyance, but Sua brushes them off with a quiet apology as she continues to move forward. Once she deems her position safe enough, she stops and waits for the lights to turn back on.
“You shouldn’t be standing here, the view won’t be good enough”
A hand pulls her from the sea of crowds, and she barely has time to register who’s pulling her, when the sky suddenly explodes with colours, she stands still, fascinated by the variety of shapes and colours that’s painting the dull night sky, the hand pulls her more, her back hits the railing, and she let out a gasp once her bare shoulders touch the cold metal.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yeah”, she breathes out, finding more beauty in the golden gaze that’s locked into her than what’s going on in the sky.
Another explosion goes off, there are shouts of joy and excitement all around here, her ears buzzing with all the loud noises, and she feels a little dizzy, perhaps from the constant swaying of the yacht, or it could be from the hand that’s playing with her fingers, she can’t be quite sure.
She feels fingers trailing her forearm, long strands of hair falling on her shoulder, as her company leans closer to her, she exhales shakily, far too overstimulated by everything that’s going on around her.
“You’re so adorable”
She flushes, not expecting the sudden compliment, “what is it about me that you find adorable”
“Well….”, Mizi hums, taking her time to answer, there’s an unmistakable glint in her eyes as she says her next words, “You’re easy to push around, far too compliant”
She says with a barely disguised tone of disappointment, “Is that so?…”
The other girl giggles, “amongst other things”
“What other things?”
Her hand continues to trail on her forearm, the sharp edge of her nails turning her sensitive skin slightly red, it makes Sua a little bit uncomfortable, but she doesn’t push her, couldn’t, for some reason.
“You’re easy to talk to, too nice for your own good, a bit naive, but it’s all a part of your charm, so it’s not so bad!”
“I don’t think that’s true”
“It is!”, the other girl insists, “you wouldn’t have trusted me so much if you weren’t”
What does that mean?
She doesn’t have enough time to voice her confusion, as the world around her suddenly turns on its axis, her stomach churns with anxiety, and fear as she realises that she’s falling through the air.
She’s been pushed off the yacht.
She doesn’t even have time to scream, when her body hits the water far too quickly, and violently, engulfing her in the coldness of the freezing water, she tries to make her way up, flailing her hands around helplessly, she thinks she hears more shouting, someone calling her name, but she can’t be sure, as her lungs get filled with even more water, and she feels her consciousness slowly slipping away.
It’s so cold.
Is the last thing she thinks of, as her body descends further.
—