Chapter Text
Three almost four years ago when Jay moved back to Seattle after finding out he was pregnant he thought that would be it. Everything is there, his home, his life, his family, and his old friends which he missed dearly after leaving when he was only ten. It’s safe to say he never thought there would be any reason for him to move back to korea, however a month ago his boss called him into his office to discuss something important.
At first he thought nothing of it but when the man asked him what the odds were of him relocating to Korea he frowned.
“Why would I relocate?” he asked.
“I am sorry to ask this and believe me it’s my last resort because we would suffer a great loss losing you to the korea office and i know you said you would be willing to go anywhere except there, but you are the best architect we have on board. Your designs are new, fresh and innovative. It’s what a lot of our clients want. When you were pregnant, the reason why we got so much foot traffic from all over is because I refused to have you fly when you were expecting your baby. So they all came here for your input. Word got around and everyone wants to work with you. Specifically high profile clientele, the relocation won’t be forever it's just to meet with a client who has demanded you specifically. A friend of the president, they want you to design and oversee the building of their house.”
The man looked desperate and Jay wanted to say no, for the sake of his daughter but it would do wonders for his career especially if he wanted his own company in the future so begrudgingly he agreed.
“You won’t regret this, I promise. We will provide housing and you mentioned your daughter is attending private school. They really want your expertees so I can ask them to pull a few strings and get her into the best private international school there.” his boss said.
“When do I leave?” Jay asked.
“In a month.”
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That was a month ago and now Jay is packing the last of his and his daughters stuff into suitcases while she is asleep in her bedroom. He can’t believe he is doing this, his daughter will be just like him when he moved to Korea at ten not able to speak the language. She may only fare better because he tries to speak to her in Korean when they are home and his grandmother does too whenever she babysits. Babysitting is one of the things he will miss…aside from his family and the life he has rebuilt here over the last three years. He could work late and not have to worry about who Iseul would be with and if she was safe because she would always be with family. Now that won’t be the case.
Sighing he lugs the last two bags downstairs along Iseul’s cute little bag that her grandmother bought her when they went shopping yesterday. Speaking of grandmother, he can’t help but tear up because his mom won’t be able to come back with him so it will just be the two of them. Eventually he stops crying and gets himself together, he has been a single parent to his lovely little daughter and he has been doing a great job so far. A job which he will continue to do even when little Iseul is all grown up and decides she doesn’t need him to hold her hand just because.
After double checking that he has all the stuff he needs, he looks at the time seeing only an hour left until he has to be up so he decides to shower and drink the last bottle of honey he has left in his pantry. Yes he stress drinks honey, at least it’s not alcohol and the sugar will keep him awake.
The time flies by quickly and soon it is time to wake Iseul up, like him she is not a morning person so she complains and clings to Jay.
“Not ready mama.”
“I know my beautiful baby, but remember we are going on a plane and I have to get you ready.” Jay coos. She immediately perks up at the mention of a plane, Jay honestly doesn’t know where her obsession with aircrafts comes from because the first few times she has been one them she was too young to remember.
“We go to Japan again, mama?” she asks.
“Not this time but I will take you for your birthday like I promised.” Jay smiles. “But if you want to go you have to be able to speak Japanese.”
“I can, I'm almost good like mama.” Iseul beams.
“Of course you are, you are my smart little cookie.” Jay says ruffling her hair. She wiggles in his arms finally ready to be set down and once her little feet touch the floor she runs off to her bathroom grabbing her toothbrush.
She insists on brushing her teeth and Jay can’t say no to her, not when her cute little eyes sparkle and her adorable little lips form the most precious pout he has ever seen. The first time she did it, Jay’s mom laughed and said she was just like him. They tend to make the same expressions to get their way and it doesn’t help that she has both his eyes and lips.
He manages to get her ready and settled, strapping her into her carseat while the chauffeur packs their luggage into the trunk. It’s not a lot at least no in his opinion since he plans on going shopping after they get settled. It didn’t make sense to pack everything up when he still has his house here and the relocation is not supposed to be temporary.
Emotions are high, both negative and positive but he tries to focus on the positive as he watches the gate close behind them from the backseat of the SUV.
“Don’t cry mama. Mama’s pwetty eyes will be red.” Iseul frowns, reaching over to wipe her mama’s face from her carseat.
“You are right cookie, my eyes will be red.” Jay chuckles, wiping his tears before grabbing hold of Iseul’s little hand and kissing the back of it. “You always worry about mama don’t you?”
“Yes, I love mama and i don’t want mama to be sad.” she says. “I have mama pwetty smile so I want mama to smile with me.”
Jay is about to burst into tears again, because how could he not love his little Iseul. She is already so kind and loving at only three years old.
“Mama will smile for you.” Jay says
He and Iseul both end up sleeping for the majority of their flight but somehow Jay still manages to feel tired as he disembarks the aircraft. Nevertheless he conceals it with Iseul still half asleep in his arms as he heads towards the SUV on the airstrip.
“Park Jongseong, it’s a pleasure.” the driver smiles while opening the door for them. “ We prepared a car seat for your daughter, I wasn't informed of your preference so I hope this will do.”
“Likewise and thank you no need to worry.” Jay says carefully placing Iseul in the car seat before going around to the otherside of the vehicle to get in. Once the last of their luggage is loaded into the vehicles their journey begins.
“Is there anywhere you would like to stop on the way to your residence?”
Jay mulls it over for a bit, not wanting to disturb Iseul since she fell asleep again but it would be a good idea to get a new phone and pick up some food until he can go grocery shopping, not that he feels up to cooking right now anyway. “Ah.. yes, I need to pick up a new phone and grab a bite.”
When they are finally left alone in their home Jay tries not to allow the emotions for that dreadful night and the events afterwards to come rushing back but when Iseul skips away to go find her room he is left alone with his thoughts and he can’t help it. He always does this to himself; he falls too deep, loves too hard and commits too easily. All it does is come back to kick him in the gut but he can’t help it. Is it so wrong to want a fairy tale? To want a happily ever after and to have someone that loves you unconditionally. He doesn’t think that's a hard ask, maybe because he wears his heart on his sleeve and he is intune with his emotions. He also sees the best in everyone, that's what he feels so much and when he gets cut it always goes deep. Being an only child with a dad who works a lot he spent a lot of one on one time with his mom and the women in his family and they’ve always made him express himself in healthy ways, even the way his dad and the other men in his family express themselves. They never shy away from what they feel so he grew up in a healthy emotional environment. Realistically he knows it is not the same for everyone but he would at least expect honesty from the people he trusts (ed).
“Mama, mama! It’s pink, our favorite color!” Iseul squeals running over to wrap her little arms around his legs.
“Yes my sweet girl, I had them paint it especially for you.” Jay's mood changes quickly when his daughter comes back into the room, it’s like she brings this light air and happiness with her and all he can do is smile as he watches her.
“Can we make it more pwetty?” she asks.
“We can, when we go shopping for your school stuff tomorrow we can buy lots of pretty things to decorate and remember what mama said about pronouncing your r’s. It’s okay to do it slowly.” Jay says.
“Yes mama.” Iseul pouts because sometimes r’s are hard.
“It’s okay Iseulie, I just want you to try your best. Do you want to go back to speech therapy? Maybe that will help, if you don’t want mama to help.” Most people might think he shouldn’t give her a choice since she’s only three but she will be four soon and she has been to speech therapy before and it's not always enjoyable for her. So Jay doesn’t want her to feel forced because that will only make her anxious.
“I don’t know, will you come with me?” She asks.
“I’ll tell you what, we will look for one together and pick the person you like best. Then you can try going to one session by yourself and if you still want me to come with you after then i will. How does that sound?” Jay hums.
Iseul smiles, putting her hands out to be picked up and Jay scoops her up peppering her cheeks with kisses. “But mama, will i need one fo-r–for kowean…ko-r-ean too?”
“Maybe not, when you start school and you start speaking more Korean you or your teachers will tell me if it's necessary.” Jay says.
“Can we speak it at home?” Iseul asks.
“Sure, we can speak Korean whenever you want.” Jay speaks slowly so she can understand since she isn’t fluent.
“Um, okay…we eat now?” she says unsure but Jay smiles and pinches her cheek.
“You are doing well but it’s: can we eat now? And yes we can.”
“Can we eat now?” she parrots beaming when she receives a thumbs up.
“So smart Iseulie, you’ll soon be able to speak three languages fluently like mama.” Jay coos, smiling at the proud look on Iseul’s face.
He loves moments like this and he wouldn’t trade them for the world. Iseul has always been brilliant which is no surprise given she is Jay’s child and he excels at everything he puts his mind to and he is happy she catches on quickly but he worries that it means she will ask about her dad way sooner than he is ready to talk about him. Truth be told he doesn’t know what he will tell her because he hasn’t seen the man since he left Korea and moved back to Seattle without a word promising to never set foot back here. Now here he is about to settle in for a few months and he is terrified, so far he is doing a good job of hiding his anxiety from Iseul but she is very perceptive for her age and it’s only a matter of time before she figures out something is wrong.
With that being said, he carries her to the kitchen, setting her on the island as he opens up the bags with the food he had picked up on the way in.
“Mama!” she exclaims. “What about bowls?”
“We will eat out of these…. Just this once.” he laughs reaching over for her backpack to pull out her little chopsticks since the ones that came with the food are too big for her and he doesn’t want to break them for her to get splinters while using them.