Chapter Text
Everything started when it didn't end at the valley. When the rain was coming down in heavy drops and Naruto blinked open one eye to say, “I knew you wouldn't kill me,” as if multiple serious attempts hadn't been made, or perhaps because he'd been sure going into the fight that he'd be strong enough to win. Even though the win wasn't necessarily a physical one, because then as Sasuke started to feel on the verge of passing out- and just before Kakashi got close enough to see them- Naruto grabbed the tattered remains of his shirt and pulled him down. That time he didn't taste like miso but like cold water and warm, salty blood.
But Sasuke can't think about that right now.
This- their current predicament- started with a mission, with an ambush by a pair of missing nin, one who possessed a kekkei genkai capable of causing paralysis in whoever he focused on, which of course just had to be him. Thankfully the unfortunate fool's abilities seemed to be rather slow acting, allowing Sasuke the opportunity to take him out with a single kunai flicked in the bragging man's direction just before his hand went numb. Unfortunately, the other enemy had moved forward, slashing him with a blade he wasn't completely able to dodge. When Sasuke did step away his legs felt like jelly and he'd fallen backwards. The last thing he saw before tumbling down the hill and into the rushing river below was Naruto diving after him as Sakura kicked the rogue nin in the head.
Now there is water, icy and violent, filling Sasuke’s mouth until something grabs him, holding his face above the surface as he coughs and sputters and does his best just to breathe. Then the world goes black.
He comes to with hands rhythmically pressing down on his chest and immediately spews out a mouthful of water. “Ahg, stop,” he groans, thankful when the hands lift away. There's burning pain in the left side of his ribcage- probably something broken, considering the way he fell- an ache in the back of his head where he's pretty sure he smashed into a rock before plunging into the river.
“You're way too skinny to be so damn heavy,” Naruto says, and Sasuke shoots him a glare, then rolls over onto his side to hack up the rest of the fluid in his lungs. When he can finally breathe somewhat normally again, he forces himself into a sitting position, clenching his jaw at the pain in his ribs, arms shaking from the effort of pushing himself up. Whoever that rogue shinobi was, with that ridiculous bloodline trait- Sasuke hopes he killed him. “What happened to you back there? They really weren't that strong.”
“Did you not hear what that guy said?” Sasuke pauses to cough, wincing at the sharp stabbing sensation the action produces. “He had a kekkei genkai that causes paralysis. I could barely move.”
“Oh… But you're ok now, right?”
“Yeah.” Probably, hopefully… Tentatively running his fingers over the stinging wound on his torso, Sasuke is annoyed to find it's still bleeding, his fingertips coming away sticky. He can't see how badly he's injured; it's raining outside the cave they're in, making the space dark even as close as they are to the entrance. “Do you have your flashlight?”
“Uh, somewhere, yeah. Hold on a sec,” the other boy tugs off his pack to rummage through it. “We should check where you're hurt… And maybe move further back cause we're kind of getting rained on.”
“I…” Sasuke doesn't know how to say that he's not sure if he can even stand right now but his thoughts are interrupted as the waterproof flashlight flickers on, blinding him. “Idiot, quit shining that in my face.”
“Sorry,” Naruto says, moving the beam of light down so that it's not shining in his teammate’s eyes. “Damn, that looks bad.”
He sets the flashlight on a rock to keep the space somewhat illuminated and then in the next second he's so damn close, less than a foot away. And maybe this whole incident is the closest they've been outside of sparring- as usually it seems Naruto is doing everything to avoid touching him- in the year or so since Sasuke failed to defect from Konohagakure. Since what was very much an actual kiss at the Valley of the End, but Naruto never mentioned it so Sasuke didn't either, and eventually they just fell back into the same familiar roles of somewhat friends, definitely teammates, absolutely rivals.
Sasuke doesn't know what order he wants these things to be in anymore. He doesn't know what he wants, what else he wants. He didn't know when he woke up in the hospital the day after he tried to leave Konoha behind and he hasn't known every day since in which he tries and fails to keep his distance because somewhere deep inside him there is a sense of desperation, burning pure and white hot. Ignoring it is starting to become extremely difficult.
Like it's difficult to not outright stare at Naruto’s face, his wide eyes, water dripping from his yellow hair, and he's shivering. Sasuke realizes that he's shivering too. They're both soaked and logic states that it would be best to strip and unseal a blanket to wrap up in. Anxiety argues back, declaring that the worst idea possible.
“We should go find Sakura.”
Naruto makes a face, looking out the mouth of the cave. What was earlier in the day just a light, misty drizzle is now a downpour. “I left a clone with her. She's at the rendezvous point but she said to just send another clone if we need her before the rain stops. Good thing we're up pretty high because it's probably gonna flood down there.”
Great.
Sasuke’s teeth are almost chattering; Naruto’s literally are.
“C-can we at least, like, go further in?” Naruto stammers out, already grabbing his bag and tossing it towards where the ground is dry. “You can move now, right? Or do you need me to carry you?”
That is not going to happen. Sasuke shifts his legs a bit to test them, then uses the wall to haul himself to his feet. Disregarding the way his surroundings begin to spin, he takes the few wobbly steps necessary to reach the area where the windblown rain can't reach and drops to sit with his back yet again pressed against craggy stone.
He also acknowledges that they're going to have to undress, that he isn't about to let his own stupid issues get in the way of preventing the hypothermia that's starting to slowly creep up on him. If Naruto was going to do or say something about what happened after their fight he would have done so already, so Sasuke just needs to forget it too. And it isn't like they've never seen each other's bodies before, even if those times were prior to the kiss, prior to everything becoming so confusing.
He tells himself that this is Naruto - his loud, obnoxious teammate; that there isn't anything to look at. It doesn't help and it's also at least half a lie.
“I think there are some sticks or something further back that might be dry. We could make a fire,” Naruto suggests, and Sasuke has to fight the heavy sigh that begs to pour out of him.
“And die from smoke inhalation?” He's stalling and he knows it. “Go find another tiny cave to do that in.”
“Damn it,” Naruto whines- and fine, fine.
“We need to take off our wet clothes and get out the blankets,” Sasuke says, half hoping he isn't heard over the deluge of rain and refusing to look up.
It takes a minute for Naruto to respond; Sasuke can see him shuffling on his feet out of the corner of his eye.
“Your pack came off when... It's with Sakura-chan and I only brought one blanket so… But it's big enough to share, I guess. I mean, if you're ok with it.”
No, no, definitely not. He absolutely cannot do this; he has to; he's going to.
“Whatever.”
“Oh, ok, um,” even with the limited amount of artificial light illuminating the space it isn't hard to see the redness spreading over Naruto’s face as he goes to grab his first aid kit out of his bag. “We still need to deal with that cut though.”
Naruto can be so gentle when he wants to be. Sasuke isn't sure if this is new or if he just hasn't been paying enough attention to notice. Then again, the two of them have rarely done anything but exchange taunts and attempt to beat the shit out of each other, even before everything turned awkward. He can't help but revel in the warmth of the hands that help him out of his sodden shirt and begin cleaning away the blood from the long diagonal gash that starts just below his left collarbone and extends to his ribs on the opposite side.
It feels like it's been a lifetime since someone he trusts has touched him like this, with none of the hurry or clinical formality of the medics he's dealt with in the hospital when his injuries have been beyond what he can handle on his own. None of the jittery fingers and incessant blushing that accompanies receiving assistance from the third member of team seven.
“Eh, it isn't as bad as I thought. Might not need stitches,” Naruto says, which is true. The wound is ugly but thankfully fairly shallow, only sluggishly oozing blood at this point.
“Like I'm letting you anywhere near me with a needle. I'll be fine until we meet up with Sakura.”
Sasuke watches as the other boy presses gauze against the wound and then tapes it in place, shudders when a fingertip brushes his nipple- an accident, surely.
“There, done,” Naruto sits back on his heels, a satisfied smile on his face that drops away all too quickly. “So how are we gonna do this?”
Leave it to Naruto to make things more uncomfortable than they need to be.
“Get the blanket, usuratonkachi, then take your clothes off and lay them out to dry.”
Sasuke is grateful when Naruto tosses him the blanket after unsealing it from a scroll. He removes his shoes, then undresses in semi-privacy, wanting to punch himself for the way his eyes automatically glance up as his friend starts to strip completely out in the open. Not that it makes much difference, when as soon as Naruto joins him under the blanket his blood turns into magma- his skin burning where their arms, their thighs, touch. He feels his body reacting and quickly pulls his knees up as his heart attempts to thud its way out of his chest.
He needs to calm down, to just breathe. Everything will be fine if he-
“You're so warm,” Naruto mumbles, sounding sleepy and relaxed while Sasuke is anything but.
“That's the point, dumbass,” Sasuke says but he can't bring himself to sound as annoyed as he wants to. “Maybe if you actually paid attention back in the academy instead of pulling stupid pranks you would have learned something useful.”
“Maybe,” Naruto says before they both fall into silence. Sasuke tries to busy his mind with the logistics of their mission, with the pain in his head and his ribs- anything to distract him from the foreign body heat warming him inside and out. “Hey, Sasuke?”
“What?”
“Do… Do you ever think about our fight?”
Ok, ok, shit… There's no way the idiot can be talking about this, not now when running away isn't even an option.
“Not really,” Sasuke replies, wondering why they have to be having this conversation. Why can't they just be normal teammates? Why can't Naruto just leave him alone? Why do they have to have this stupid bond, a bond that made Sasuke listen when Naruto swore that they could achieve his goal together, that he didn't have to do everything alone. A bond that kept him from trying to defect again, to take what he knows could have been a shortcut to the power he needs to kill his brother. Maybe Itachi would be dead by now if he'd just-
“I think about it sometimes.” Naruto is practically leaning against him now, crowding so brazenly into Sasuke’s space that he can't help fearing that it might be on purpose. “I mean, like, probably a lot actually, even though I've been trying really hard not to but… I thought you'd at least hit me.”
“I would have if I didn't pass out.” That's definitely a lie, rolling off Sasuke's tongue like a lead marble.
“So you do remember that you kissed me!”
“You're the one who kissed me,” he grits out, fists clenched so tight that his nails almost cut into his palms, unsure if he's angrier at Naruto or himself, because he does remember it. He remembers it perfectly even though he wants nothing more than to forget. Sasuke has thought about it every day: every time they've eaten Ichiraku ramen together, every time they've sparred, every time the blonde boy has shot him a bright smile that says, I'm so glad you're still here, and so much more. Every time he's laid in bed with his hand shoved down the front of his pants, biting his lip bloody and imagining all kinds of things that he banishes from his mind as soon as the sun rises. “Why are you bringing this up?”
“Well, um… I don't know, I just…” Naruto mumbles- slowly, cautiously, like he knows that he's tiptoeing across a line that he might not be able to step back over. A line that Sasuke can't help but be constantly aware of despite how hard he tries to ignore it, just like he ignores the ridiculous voice piping up from the deepest crawlspaces within his mind- the voice that taunts him, tells him to fling himself over that carefully monitored boundary, to not care if he falls face first because Naruto will catch him. How utterly pathetic. “This was your idea, bastard.”
“This is just getting warm, loser.”
“Yeah, sure, ok.”
And that- that would be fucking it if Sasuke hadn't gotten so good at biting his tongue this past year, holding himself back, not letting his idiotic friend get under his skin and-
“You're probably just scared,” Naruto continues, under his breath but unfortunately still audible. Maybe it's the head injury or the lingering effects of that rogue shinobi’s jutsu, but Sasuke feels the first of many cords that tether him to restraint snap, and he elbows Naruto in the ribs with what is definitely more force than necessary. He only gets a single second to enjoy the other boy’s high-pitched squawk before he realizes that sending Naruto sprawling has cost him his own very necessary hold on the blanket.
Stupid, he scolds himself, immediately yanking the blanket back to cover himself which only succeeds in making him feel like even more of a fool when the blonde is left with nothing.
“You asshole!” Naruto yells, and that would be funny too if Sasuke’s own eyes weren't busy betraying him by trailing up the notches of spine to the movement of shoulder blades and muscle under tan skin. If his own body didn't continue betraying him further the moment his friend huddles beneath the blanket again, pressed even closer this time, if possible. "I should stop being nice to you."
“Just shut up,” Sasuke says, closing his eyes because he can't deal with any of this anymore. All he wants is another blanket, and for his erection to go away, and maybe for another group of missing nin to show up and take him out before everything gets even worse. Beside him, Naruto makes several unhappy grumbling noises but doesn't say anything so Sasuke ignores him, focusing as much as he can on the pain in the back of his skull and the dizziness behind his eyes until the dark fog of unconsciousness finally rises up to surround him.
He wakes up warm, hurting still but strangely content, and spends a minute just basking in the comfort before the reality of the situation comes rushing back, jolting through his mind like a chidori straight to the brain. He got wounded in a fight, he's in a cave and… And he fell asleep sitting up but he's lying down on his back now and Naruto is curled on his side right next to him with one of his knees digging into Sasuke’s thigh, head on his shoulder, arm draped over his stomach- what the fuck?
No, no, no- this is terrible; this is the kind of thing that isn't supposed to happen outside of his most embarrassing dreams and he can't even handle those, let alone this.
“Naruto, you idiot, wake up. Moron, wake up!” Getting no response besides a quiet and unintelligible murmur, Sasuke resorts to using his elbow again. That earns him a pained grunt at least.
“Shit! What-” Naruto’s eyes fly open, then narrow, his nose wrinkling and mouth settling into a pout. “Why do you have to be so mean? I was sleeping.”
“Yeah, that's the problem. Get off me.”
“But we're supposed to be cuddling for warmth.”
What?
Sasuke freezes, even his lungs going still halfway through an inhale as he tries to convince himself that his stupid friend is just being ignorant as usual and doesn't realize that full on cuddling isn't necessary to preserve heat, especially with the blanket stretched over them both. But then Naruto sighs and hot breath caresses Sasuke’s neck and he can't do anything other than blink and turn his head to the side, meeting bright, perfectly blue eyes with his own. The next moment he's being kissed, barely a brush of lips the first time, firmer the second, and Naruto's mouth is dry and slightly chapped but still soft. Sasuke is frozen, unable to even form coherent thoughts as once again his body temperature seems to surge- sparks under his skin, embers in his bones, flames low in his belly.
Naruto gives him one final kiss, slow and gentle, before pulling away, his face bashful, cheeks pink. “Was that ok?”
Sasuke opens his mouth but immediately closes it again, not knowing what to say because it's not ok, it can't be, right? Then he notices that the reason he can see his friend so clearly is because it's no longer raining, and sunlight is streaming into their rocky shelter… Which means Naruto can see him perfectly too and Sasuke is hard again and obviously so because he's lying on his back.
He needs to get the hell out of this cave.
“The rain stopped,” he manages to force out, sitting up much too quickly considering how his vision swims, and god, his head hurts so he lets it drop into his shaking hands. He can deal with this, with physical pain; the rest of it- Naruto kissing him again - is too overwhelming to acknowledge at all. “We need to go meet Sakura.”
“Hey, you ok?” Naruto asks, sounding worried and confused and nervous all at once.
“My head,” Sasuke says, knowing that if he looks up, he'll find the same emotions carried in the other boy’s voice written all over his face, so he doesn't move.
“Wait, you hit your head? Why the hell didn't you say something?” Receiving no response, Naruto pushes away his side of the blanket, getting up to quickly pull on his certainly still damp clothes. Sasuke follows suit, staying wrapped up in the blanket until he's dressed before handing it over, looking away from the questioning look that he receives. “You sure you're good to head out?”
Instead of replying, Sasuke just walks away, towards the exit.
/
The rendezvous point is only a few kilometers from the cave, but it takes them way longer than it should considering that he feels as if he can barely walk after the first five minutes. Every so often Naruto reaches out a steadying hand, but Sasuke shrugs him off, gritting his teeth against the pain, pushing himself forwards. By the time they reach the hideout hidden within what otherwise looks to be a grassy hill, his whole body is shaking; as soon as they're inside he slumps against the wall, sliding down onto the floor.
“Sasuke-kun!” Sakura is at his side in an instant. “Where are you hurt? Naruto, why didn't you send a clone like I said?”
“I would have but he didn't tell me he hit his head,” Naruto explains, “and then we fell asleep so-”
“You let him sleep with a head injury? Do you have any idea how dangerous that–”
“He didn't know,” Sasuke cuts in, feeling a flash of irritation at the way that Sakura is yet again pinning the blame for his own mistakes on Naruto instead. Maybe he also feels some guilt despite his attempts to suppress it, because deep down he has to admit that his actions- or lack thereof- back in the cave are the reason why his blonde teammate is so clearly sulking, shoulders drooped and staring down at the floor. But he just couldn't- he can't entertain this thing that's happening between him and Naruto, can't think about whatever it is he wants when what should be his entire purpose for still being alive seems further away with every month that passes by. He can't be concerned with what might make him happy when his entire clan is-
“Are you dizzy?” Sakura asks, yanking him out of the undercurrent of his thoughts.
“Kind of.”
“Any vomiting?”
“No.”
Sakura frowns, looking up at Naruto. “He didn't throw up, did he?”
“Nuh-uh,” Naruto says in an unusually soft voice, still not looking up. The furrow of Sakura’s brow deepens for a moment before she turns back to Sasuke.
“Look at me,” she says and he does, observing the light flush of color that spreads over her cheeks. Wondering why he can't just disregard and rebuff anything Naruto may feel for him the way he does with Sakura. It should be easy. “Yeah, you're definitely concussed.”
“Great,” Sasuke huffs even though he was already ninety percent sure that was the case, thankful when Sakura finally begins to direct healing chakra into his head. He complies without complaint when she insists on checking him over and healing the rest of his wounds as well, focusing on the way her touch lingers just a little too long against his skin. Anything to avoid his own indecisive thoughts, to ignore the way that Naruto is watching him and looking completely crushed.