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In Vino Veritas

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“Kim Possible!”

That was my cue. I leaped into action, fists flying.

“I missed you these last couple months, Pumpkin,” I smiled, throwing a green plasma blast she effortlessly avoided. “Those GJ morons bored me to tears.”

“Didn’t you hear?” she smiled back, flashing me a glimpse of the strangely familiar three karat diamond on her finger while blocking a punch that would have surely loosened some teeth had it connected. “I got married. Went on a world cruise for our honeymoon.”


I hear you just got married

Took a month-long honeymoon


 

“Well congratulations, Kimmie.” I was a bit surprised and I couldn’t resist messing with her once again. “You finally ditch the buffoon for someone worthwhile?” I asked with a smirk.

“I’ll have you know that Ron is a great guy,” she chided as she spun into one of her painful roundhouse kicks that I instinctively dodged. “We’ve been through everything together since pre-K.”

“He must be really special, Kimmie.”

She smiled fondly as she casually blocked another of my kicks. “Yeah, he is.”

I saw her eyes start to get a far off look in them so I snuck a hand past her defenses and gave her a good smack upside the head. “Focus, Princess,” I grinned. “We’re on the clock here.”


You were all smiles at the wedding

And you cried when you kissed the groom.


 

She shook her head for a moment - clearing the cobwebs, I guess - and then leaped back in to return to our fight.

After a while, a small explosion erupted in another part of the lair and I knew that Ron and Rufus managed to destroy Dr. D’s latest scheme. And just think, I thought this one would almost work. I sighed internally as I knew the words I would soon hear meant the end of Kim and my little “dance.”

“Shego!” Yup. There it goes. I threw a few plasma blasts to distract Kim and Ron then I jumped on the hoverpod with Dr D as the lair started to fall down around us. “You think you’re all that Kim Possible, but you’re not!” That blue doofus really drives me nuts sometimes.

As we escaped, I blew a kiss to them and grinned. “Ta-ta you crazy lovebirds.”


I got no invitation.

I guess the mailman didn’t bring it to me.


 

By the time we got back to the backup lair, I started to feel more worn out than usual. I wanted to get some sleep and I really wasn’t up to listening to Drakken’s ranting again.

I laid down in my bed, but sleep somehow eluded me. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, images jumping unbidden into my head. Images I wished I could get rid of. Images I wished I deserved.

And, for another night, I cried myself to sleep.


But I see the whole thing in slow motion

Every night as I try to sleep.


 

The next day I wandered into the blue guy’s lab. He was working on something, probably his newest scheme.

“Hey, Dr D,” I asked and couldn’t help but grin as he flinched at my voice. “Did you know those two got married?”

He looked up from his table with a surprised look. “You didn’t? It was all over the papers.”

“Hell, no,” I practically shouted. “If I’d known, I’d have crashed the party.”

“So why didn’t you come with me?”

I gave him a look like he had lobsters crawling out of his ears. “You mean you did?”

“Well it’s not like I really ‘crashed’ it, per se,” he smirked. “When I got there, somehow I was on the guest list. They let me right in.”

I simply blinked, I couldn’t do anything else. My mind actually stopped for a second as I tried to process what he just said. After a few moments, I could form words. They were almost whispered; my mind still blank. “What was it like?”

“Oh, you should’ve seen them Shego,” he said smiling. “She was practically glowing and he looked like he was about to burst with happiness.”


My buddy John said you looked real pretty

And you acted like you were in love.


 

I imagined Kim in a beautiful white dress and Ron in his tux. It would be somewhere outdoors, I’m sure. Thousands of guests and well-wishers; a full symphony playing “Ode to Joy” as they walked down the aisle. I saw the whole perfect ceremony. It made me want to puke. It made me want to cry.

I was wrenched from my imaginings by Drakken’s annoying voice. “You know,” he smirked with his beady black eyes twinkling. “I was tempted to stand up when the preacher said that silly line about ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ just to mess with them a little.”


When the preacher asked for objections

He thought about standing up.


 

That brought me back to the here and now. “Are you out of your mind?” I yelled. I knew he was nuts, but that just proved he was completely fucking crazy.

“Come now, Shego,” he grinned. “I didn’t say I did, just that I wanted to.”

“Good,” I huffed, strangely relieved he had been joking. “Because even she deserves at least one moment of happiness in her life.”


I told John he must’ve been crazy

Cause you were just about to say “I do.”


 

“Of course she does. But I think we both know she could do so much better than that ‘buffoon,’ as you call him.”

“Yeah, like who?” I asked, incredulous.

His smile widened. “Well, I think even you would be better that Stoppable kid,” he said with a wink and that damn twinkle again.


He just gave me a wink, and said all he could think

Was it could’ve been me with you.


 

That caught me off guard. What did he know? How did he know it? I prayed I managed to keep my reaction out of my voice as I opened my mouth. “What?”


It could’ve been me

Standing there with you.


 

He cringed for a second. “I was joking, Shego,” he said still smiling like an idiot. “Besides, I doubt you or Miss Possible would be like that anyway.”


It could’ve been me

And all my dreams coming true.


 

“Yeah, whatever,” I snarked, the attitude coming by habit. “Don’t care.” I left him to return to whatever the hell he was tinkering with; more images running through my head.


But those dreams move on

If you wait too long.


 

I went back to my quarters. I suddenly wanted to be left alone. I needed a drink. A lot of them.


It took me till now to see

It could’ve been me


 

I peeled off my lycra jumpsuit and threw it towards my laundry pile, idly thinking I was due to wash my clothes. Padding into the kitchenette, I grabbed a bottle and poured myself a giant glass of whiskey. I savored the burn of the alcohol running down my throat as I drained it and poured another.

Opening my dresser to get some pajamas, my eyes fell on a small, velvet box.


I don’t guess I ever told you

That I went out and bought you a ring.


 

My mind flashed back to years ago. Back to when I was hit with that damn Attitudinator. When I was turned into “Miss Go.” I went to hide out in the only place I knew I would be safe: her school. I had hoped to see her and maybe get a chance to talk to her. When I did, it went so much better than I could have expected. It felt so good just hanging out with her, even just being with her, that I wanted more. When we got to Go City to help my brothers, I stopped at a jewelry store for something to give her. Something to let her know how much I treasured our time together. Something to tell her how I felt. But I never got the chance to give it to her.


I even carried it around in my pocket

Waiting to say the right thing.


 

I drained my second glass and slowly, almost reverently, pulled out that box. Regret washed over me as I grabbed the bottle and moved back to my lonely bed.

As I sat on the edge, I opened the box. The once brilliant gem had seemingly become dull and lifeless matching my feelings. I took another drink and felt the familiar dull ache deep in my heart. An ache that only grew sharper in the years since it appeared.


I pulled it out the other day,

But the diamond had lost its shine.


 

Staring at it for I don’t know how long, I felt tears begin to fall. I made no move to wipe them or hide them. I deserved them for what I have done and for what I had not. Decisions made, words said and unsaid. Everything. Every god damn thing.


I know how it feels cause my eyes grow dim

When I think you could have been mine.


 

I threw the box across the room. It didn’t matter now. I had to bury my feelings. I had to, for me. For them. For her.

The tears fell faster.


It could’ve been me

Standing there with you.


 

No more could I think of “What Might Have Been.” No more wondering about the future I might have had or the life I could’ve lived. My happiness was irrelevant now. That the one I loved was happy should be enough to bring joy to my broken heart but it was tearing me up inside.


It could’ve been me

And all my dreams coming true.


 

I could’ve had a happy ending to my life, but it’s no more. I could’ve lived a dream, if only…

If only things had been different. If only I had been honest with myself for once. If only I hadn’t been so fucking scared.


But those dreams move on

If you wait too long.


 

It didn’t matter. Everything was over now. The one thing I wanted most in the world I had right in front of me, and I lost it. I let it slip through my fingers. The world’s greatest thief and I couldn’t steal the one thing most precious to me in all existence.

Somewhere in my ponderings, I finished the bottle. That followed the velvet box that now only held pain and regret. I pulled my knees to my chest and wept, hot tears of remorse spilling down my face.


It took me till now to see

It could’ve been me


 

I don’t remember picking up my phone. I don’t remember dialing. I will never forget the voice on the other end.

“Shego?” the voice said sleepily. “Why the heck are you calling me so late?”


I know I called just in time to be too late.


 

For a moment my mind went back over all those years. I remembered the fights, the arguments, the constantly being at each other’s throats. My feelings, then and now. I opened my mouth and it all came out. Every knife-edge pain to my heart; every tear-stained regret. Everything.


You know dreams move on if you wait too long.


 

Tears streamed down my face as I drunkenly spoke the words I never was able to sober.


It took me till now to see


 

“I love you, Kim.”


That it could’ve been me…