Chapter Text
Chapter 1 - A Letter In The Mail
Pushing the button to the caged elevator, she waited until it reached her floor before she stepped in. Then she pushed the corresponding floor to the mail room, listening as the machinery worked around her, slowly reaching her destination in mind. She reached the mailroom with a soft thud of the elevator; the doors retracting slowly to reveal the room ahead.
Walking over to her room’s post box, 516, she carefully opened it after taking the key out of her pocket. Then, absentmindedly, she grabbed the contents inside and brought them back with her to the elevator, tapping her shoe as she ascended each floor. She languidly sifted through each letter that was in the stack, most for the war effort, others ads for many things, but... one caught her eye.
’WAR DEPARTMENT’
’Claggor J. Lanes,’
’Captain USA.’
’OFFICIAL BUSINESS’
That was all Violet Lanes needed to read before her heart started pounding. Sweat enveloped her hands and neck as she dared not to look at it any further. Anxiety washed over her as she slowly slipped the letter back into the stack of letters, the elevator ride seeming to last an eternity now that dread filled every fiber of her being, her eyes buzzing as her ears rang, the letter’s contents burning into her mind.
As the elevator arrived at her floor, she couldn’t help but wrestle with the thought of wanting to take her brother’s place.
Taking a few deep breaths, she steadied herself as she unlocked the door to her family’s apartment, trying to push back the tear that had pricked her eyes. The lump in her throat didn’t seem to go away as she passed the threshold to the apartment. It was stuck there, like a piece of food she couldn’t swallow while her mind buzzed with how she could help Claggor avoid the draft. The kid just turned 19 a few months ago, and she couldn’t imagine his life possibly coming to an end over the war.
She was the eldest, she had to go.
Vi swallowed as she scanned the area before her, the kitchen was to the left of her and to the right, further down a little, the living room as well as the dining table. She hooked their mail keys up on the jacket hooks and entered the kitchen, setting down the mail. ’Should I tell Claggor when he wakes up? Fuck…’ Sighing as she sat down on one of the stools by the kitchen counter, her face in her hands as she did. “Fuck…”
Heavy footsteps down the hall adjacent to the kitchen resounded throughout the room, snapping Vi out of her trance of anxiety. “Hey, kid. You get the mail?” The voice asked, with a prominent rough English accent in his voice. Vi peeked to take a glance at the man’s large stature, then returned to resting her head in her hands. As soon as he saw his daughter sitting in a chair with her head in her hands, he sighed, taking a seat next to her. “What’s got you all hung up, Vi?” Asked Vander as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
Vi sighed, trying to swallow down the lump in her throat as a cold sweat enveloped her neck, “Nothing, dad… I don’t want to talk about it…” She said softly, almost grimly with her tone. Staring at the wood counter, she counted how many pieces of food or otherwise were stuck in between the boards. She counted 10 from where she sat. Then she stood up abruptly, wiping her face with her hands, and murmured with a forced smile, “Already ate; I… gotta go to work.”
Vander sighed, sitting up and following her to the door. He placed a hand on her shoulder and said, “At least eat breakfast with your siblings. They’ll be happy to see you in the morning.” He tilted his head, not expecting his daughter to stay or go, as it was her decision.
But the thought of never seeing Claggor again whipped past her mind, and she spoke, “Alright, dad…” Vi said as she turned around, hand falling limply from the door handle, “But, just for a little while… I have to go after we eat, though.” She spoke as she patted her father on the shoulder, “They are not going to be up for a while though.” Said Vi as she straightened out her blouse and trousers, heading to the bathroom, “Do you want me to wake them up?”
“No, that’s alright.” Vander called out as he entered the kitchen, now rummaging through the fridge for something to prepare for breakfast. “Could you haggle some eggs when you’re done with your shift?” Asked Dad as he picked out the 4 remaining eggs out of their small fridge, dropping each one into a large calloused hand. “And some milk if that’s not too much of an ask?”
Vi sighed as she washed her hands, splashing some water on her face as she did. Then she ran a hand through her brash red-copper hair, slicking the bangs away a little bit out of her face. “Dad, do you know how hard those are to get by these days?” Asked Vi as she finished up with her hair, wiping her hands on her trousers, “I’ll try, but I cannot guarantee that I will come back with both.” She said as she opened the door, walking over to the kitchen counter once more.
Vander chuckled, “That’s okay, kid.” He said as he placed a pan over the stove, letting it sit for a while before he tested it out with a little water, “Scrambled or sunny side?” Asked Dad as he glanced back at his eldest daughter, an egg in one hand.
Vi sighed, “I know Powder will be complaining if it’s not scrambled, so scrambled it is.” She said as she glanced back at the mail before locking her eyes on her father’s large frame as he cooked. Swallowing once, she ran a hand through her hair once more, feeling how it ended just at the nape of her neck as she did. She scratched her neck a little—a nervous habit she’d gained over the years as she thought back to what the contents of the letter addressed to Claggor could entail for his life.
She prodded at the thought for a little while before she came to a resolve—she had to take his place. Violet Lanes had already looked the part of a man; people had even mistaken her for a man in the past because of her muscular physique and the way she dressed. Her hair was short, and even though her face didn’t really look all too masculine, she’d probably get away with it if she had something covering the bottom of her face, like a scarf.
Everything about her, down to the way her hands felt, could possibly make her pass as a man, but she knew that would be risky, too risky. And the military didn’t take in women, and none of her other siblings were eligible, nor was her dad, who of which was out of the age range. ’Fuck… how can I convince them that Claggor is not eligible…?’ Vi asked herself as she thought of a way to help him avoid the draft, ’I cannot simply pose as a man… they’d see right through that… but… That’s right… Claggor can’t see well without his glasses…’ Thought Vi as she folded her arms on the counter and hummed a little. ’I can take his place…’
“What’re you thinkin’ about, kid?” Asked Dad as he finished up wth the eggs, setting them on a plate, “Can ya set the table for me?” Vander asked as he placed the pan aside, bringing out a pot from one of the cabinets.
Vi nodded, “Sure.” She replied as she got out of her seat and brought the plate of eggs over to the small dining table by the living room. Then she walked over to her father’s side and stacked 5 plates in one hand, as well as some silverware, and brought that over as well. After that, she sat down at the table, placing a napkin for every pair of silverware.
It didn’t take long after Vi set the table that her other siblings woke up. Powder groggily appeared out of their shared room and eyed her sister curiously, her long braids messy from sleep, “Morning sis…”
Vi smiled a little as she turned her chair to face her sister, “Morning, Pow.” Greeted Vi as she stood up eyeing her sister’s braids, “You have to take these out when you sleep, you know?” She said as she tugged on one a little, a small smirk on her face.
“Shut up.” Chided Powder, although playfully as she followed Vi to the dining table, taking a seat next to her. “Scrambled eggs for breakfast?” Powder asked, her eyes lighting up a little.
Vi huffed a small breath, “Only because I requested that it be scrambled.” Said Vi smugly, “Or else you would be getting sunny side up, which I know you hate.” Commented Vi as she heard a pair of footsteps walk out of their brother’s shared room, one light, while the other a little heavy. She could only imagine having to tell Claggor about the letter he’d received in the mail today, but she figured that it would be better to tell him after breakfast, before she had to leave.
But fate had other plans.
“Mornin’ Pow, Vi.” Claggor greeted, glancing over at the mail. “Is there anything for me in there, sis?” Vi had always grabbed the mail every week when it came in, and usually nobody got anything addressed to them, so it was unusual when the eldest sibling responded;
“Look at it after breakfast.” Vi advised quickly, plating her scrambled eggs onto her plate. “Just come sit down.” Said Vi as she got up to get a glass of water. “You guys want some water?” She asked as she grabbed 5 glasses, glancing over to her father, who was currently making oatmeal. Then she filled the glasses up with some tap before she brought it over to her siblings.
As she sat down, their father came over with the pot of oatmeal, holding it expectantly as he asked, “Mylo, could ya fetch a pad so I can put this thing down?”
Mylo grumbled but did as he was told, carrying his lanky figure over to the kitchen and grabbed a cloth pad used for taking things out of the oven and placed it down on the table. Vander then placed the pot down on the table and sat at the head seat. “Breakfast is served, go ahead, dig in.” He encouraged before asking, “So, how’d you kids all sleep?
“Fine.” Said Mylo, who plated his eggs and oatmeal.
“Like a rock.” Said Powder, who started shoveling food into her mouth.
“Alright.” Said Claggor, eating slowly, eyeing Vi every so often.
“Pretty good." Said Vi, starting to pick at her food, a contrast to how fast she usually ate.
Vander hummed, dishing his own portion onto his plate, “Vi’s going to get us some more eggs and milk after her shift, so be sure to thank her when she does.” Said Vander, getting up to make himself a pot of coffee, “Forgot my coffee… oh bollocks…” He cursed, scratching his head, “Vi, could you also get some coffee beans after your shift as well?”
Vi hummed, “Just make me a list why don’t you?” She replied, half sarcastic, half serious, as she sped up the pace she ate at, the food going down without registering the taste as her mind spun with trying to come up with a plan to volunteer herself to replace Claggor in the draft. “Alright, gotta go.” She said, sliding her chair back to stand up. “I’ll be back before dinner, groceries and all.” Said Vi as she grabbed her bag and coat, checked her keys in her pocket and opened the door, taking one last glance at her family.
“Bye Vi.”
“Bye sis.”
“See ya soon.”
“Be back before 6, kid.” Vander said, nodding as he drank his water. “Be safe.”
With that, Vi left, bag over her shoulder and neck as she pressed the button to the elevator. The elevator ride down didn’t seem as long as when she previously used it, the hum of the machinery somewhat calming her mind a little, grounding her as second thoughts invaded her mind one by one, ’Do I really want to go into the army for my Clag? Fuck, Vi, think of what they’d say…’ She shook her head as she reached the lobby, her walk turning brisk as she decided not to hail a taxi today, as she would rather spend the money on groceries later that day. The cars and taxis sped by as she walked block after block to the place she called work. The place she called work; the factory that spewed out smoke from the stacks and made the city smell a lot more like home.
It wasn’t a long walk to the factory; just a few blocks from Brooklyn, a little time-consuming was all, and she figured that it was faster this way, instead of getting stuck in traffic due to a shitty cab driver. Once she entered, she signed herself in and dropped off her stuff in the lockers by the assembly line, starting her 8-hour shift. With a sigh, she rolled up her sleeves and got to work.
Vi sweat it out throughout her time at the factory, only a few small breaks in between for some time to breathe. But the shift went by fast, and the thoughts of Claggor and the draft wafted away a little. By the time she’d left, night had already fallen onto New York, and she had yet to buy groceries. The cold air along with the cars and taxis whipped by her as she walked over to the local supermarket, Benzo’s Supermart. Condensation puffed out of her mouth as she strolled over, hands in her pockets to keep them from freezing as bits of snow crunched under her shoes. “Shit…” Vi muttered under her breath as she entered the mart, the bells atop the door jingling as she walked in. She was greeted by the scene of aisles and aisles of somewhat empty shelves, a few registers to the side, and the man himself off to the left, manning the pharmacy up front. “Hey Benzo,” She called out, taking her hands out of her pockets, “Where’s Little Man?” Asked Vi as she leaned against the counter.
Benzo chuckled a little, tilting his spectacles down a little to reply, “The boy’s in the back, managing the stock, Vi.” He replied, “What brings you here? Vander need you goin’ shopping again?” He asked, a Scottish accent prominent in his voice as he mirrored Vi’s stance.
“Yeah,” Vi replied with a sigh. “You got some eggs and milk left, oh, and some coffee beans?” Asked Vi, staring at the man’s large hands.
Benzo huffed a breath. “Sure, Vi.” He said with a smile, “If there isn’t a whole lot left, just go ask Ekko in the back, he’ll bring you some if there isn’t any.” Said Benzo, turning away, “Nice seeing you.”
“You too,” Vi replied before walking off, retelling the list of three that she needed to get in her mind. She first walked over to the dairy section, where two of the three things on her list would be found. Grabbing some milk and eggs, she held both in one hand before consulting the coffee aisle, finding her father’s favorite beans there.
She thought for a second to just go to the register but she ended up meeting Little Man by the doors to the storage in the back, “Hey Ekko.” Said Vi, giving him a pat on the shoulder, “How’s work been today?”
Ekko chuckled, “It’s been alright.” He said, threading a few fingers through his coiffed hair. “Got just an hour left on my shift.” Then he noticed that Vi was in her work clothes, dark eyes looking her up and down. “Oh yeah, how was the factory today?”
Vi hummed, “Same old.” She replied, “Nothing new, made us work a little longer, too.” Said Vi as she used both arms to carry the milk, eggs, and coffee beans. “You got a basket I can use?”
Ekko immediately picked up a basket from nearby and helped his friend out with the groceries in her arms, “Heading home after this?” He asked as Vi held the basket in one hand now.
“Yeah…” Vi drawled with a sigh, holstering the basket on her arm now, “I’ll see you around?” She said, but something deep inside her stirred, knowing that she wouldn’t see him again in a long while.
Ekko huffed a breath, “Yeah, sure, Vi.” He said with a smile and wave before disappearing into the storage room once more.
Vi steeled herself as she paid at the register and started walking home, not knowing how Claggor would respond to such a request of him, joining the military and all. She knew that he was more than capable, but she didn’t want him coming home in a box, and rather that it’d be her. “Fuck…” She murmured under her breath, hands in her pockets, as the grocery bag hung loosely at her elbow.
It’d seemed like a long walk home, it being darka and cold and everything. The sun had made everything go by so much faster, it seemed. But in the darkness of night, with the bustle of cars and the factories around her, it seemed to take her an extra minute or two to get home.
Once she entered the lobby of her family’s apartment, she pushed the elevator button and waited for it to arrive, seemingly slower than usual. The whole day seemed out of whack ever since she’d laid eyes on that draft letter. Vi had never expected that one of her own brothers were to be drafted; she’d always prayed and hoped that neither of them would get picked in such a raffle, even if it was to fight for their country against the Nazis. She didn’t want either of them coming back with lifelong injuries, or worse, back in a box or dead on piles of bodies. Swallowing, the elevator arrived on her floor, doors retracting for her exit as she walked down the hall to her home.
Unlocking the door, she opened it slowly, revealing her sister, Mylo, and Claggor all gathered round’ the radio. “I’m home.” Vi called out, shutting the door behind her before setting down the groceries on the floor and taking off her coat, leaving her work bag by the door.
“Hey Vi.” Said Powder, who was working on some school work on the coffee table.
“How was work?” Asked Claggor, who busied himself with a book on the couch.
Mylo didn’t acknowledge her, but kept his eyes focused on the magazine he was reading while he listened to the radio.
Vi hummed, bringing the groceries with her to the kitchen, “Work was alright, but what have you guys been doing all day? How was school?” She asked after putting away all of the things she’d bought, glancing at the counter, the mail seemingly untouched, which bothered her. Vi swallowed, daring to sift through the mail, seeing that the draft letter was untouched and still sealed, “...” She said nothing, as she didn’t want Claggor to know that she’d seen such a letter in the mail. But at the same time, she knew that her brother deserved to know.
She steeled herself, however, forcing deep breaths upon herself as she went to her room to get some clothes for her shower. After around 15 minutes, Vi came out of the bathroom in a set of pajamas, red in color with her hair wet. Then she sat down next to her brother, Mylo, on the floor, languidly looking at him and the magazine he was reading, wondering why he was so entranced with ads and– Oh, that’s why… “Mylo, how many times have I told you to not read these?” Scolded Vi as she tapped the magazine with the back of her hand.
Mylo side eyed her with a raised eyebrow, “I am a grown boy now, Violet.” He said haughty, closing the magazine, “I’m turning 18 in a year anyways, so you cannot get to dictate what I get to read soon.” Said Mylo, getting up to go to his room, “I’m reading this in my room.”
That’s exactly what scared Violet Lanes the most, both brothers being eligible for the draft. She scoffed, but was at a loss for words.
Dinner rolled around faster than expected, Dad was home from manning the pub, since everything had a curfew these days, and not many people stopped by to get themselves a drink, so he was home early. “Pub’s been low on business nowadays.” He explained as he finished cooking some chicken in the oven. “Chicken and vegetables for dinner.” Said Vander as he took out the chicken from the oven. “Oh, and Vi, thanks for gettin’ us some eggs and milk, you even remembered by coffee beans.”
Vi just hummed as she sat by the radio, listening to some soap opera about this guy falling in love with a woman, but his love was unrequited. “You’re welcome.” She said as she reclined the reclining chair in the living room. “They’re pretty low on stock, so you are lucky.” Said Vi as she picked at her nails, finding dirt in unexpected places.
“Is dinner almost ready, Dad?” Asked Powder who also listened in to the radio, making barf faces at her sister as the opera played through.
“In just a minute, sweetheart.” Vander replied, plating the chicken onto one plate as well as the vegetables gently simmering on the pan onto another.
Vi chuckled at her sister’s insistent hate for cliche soap operas that always ended up with the man always getting the woman. She wondered what life would be like with a husband, if she were to ever get married at all. ’I doubt it…’ Then her thoughts wandered into sinful areas, like, what it would be like for two women to be together or even married, something that would surely end in both being prosecuted or even criminalized. The pit in her chest formed, feeling guilty for such thoughts.
She shook her head, though her face burned at the thought, the voices in the background forgotten, beckoning her to come to dinner. ’I can’t think like that…’ Vi reminded herself as she got up to head to the dinner table. As she sat down, she eyed the mail again, noticing that it looked somewhat askew, and that the draft letter seemed to be missing. ’Oh no…’
Vi shifted in her seat, watching as Mylo set the table this time, giving each of them silverware and a plate, along with a napkin. “Thanks Mylo.”
Mylo just nodded his head as he took his seat next to Claggor, the other brother looking a little disturbed by something. His eyebrows were furrowed, and the glasses on his face were a little askew, something that he’d never consciously leave. Vi knew what it was; she knew that the letter was probably in his hand or in his pocket, waiting to be opened and signed, and such.
Vander spoke, “Let’s all be grateful that our soldiers around the world are fightin’ for a good cause, for freedom. All so that we can eat at this here table without having to worry about the war across the pond.” He said proudly, “And that we have this food on our table to eat, as some aren’t so lucky.” Said Vander, gesturing to the food on the table, “Dig in you kids.”
Vi nodded simply and started to dish out her portion on her plate, but her eyes never left Claggor as he went through the motions, though his face told a different story. His eyes seemed unfocused, his lips trembled, and the way that he tried to hold a poker face made it look all the more obvious. He was terrified.
Swallowing her food down with great trouble, Vi started after taking a sip of water, “Clag… did you see your letter in the mail?” Asked Vi as she held onto her fork, her hand trembling slightly, her neck growing clammy, and her back seeming to be poked by 1,000 needles.
Claggor sighed, almost defeated, but also shakily, “Yeah…” He said quietly, the hand not holding a utensil reaching for his pocket as he raised his head to face their father. Slowly, he brought out the letter, placing it flat on the table as he took a shaky breath, “Dad… everyone…” The young man started as he looked around the dinner table, “I’ve been drafted for the war…”
Vi looked to Powder, who sat there with an unreadable expression on her face. She placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, rubbing slowly.
“You can’t… you’re lying, Clag…” Stuttered Powder, her body trembling as her eyes never left her brother. “You can’t leave us… you…” She trailed off and the tears started to flow, “You can’t leave us, Claggor…” Vi watched as she clenched her fork in her hand, knife in the other, “They can… they can take someone else, right?”
Now Powder was looking to their Dad, then to Vi, “They can take someone else, right?” She asked again between sobs, “Vi, Dad, they can take someone else, right?!” The young woman asked a little louder this time, all while Mylo stayed quiet, something he didn’t usually do when something big came up.
Vi just continued to rub gentle circles on her younger sister’s back, unsure of what to say. But then it happened, the words just came out of her mouth so naturally, “Let me go. Let me go instead of Claggor… he’s too young.” Said Vi resolutely, yet a deep fear resided within her, something deep in her mind that told her she shouldn’t go. But her heart told her a different story, reasoned with her in different ways. Like how she was a woman and was more unlikely to die rather than Claggor, a young man, and how she could work as a nurse, or something more befitting of her position. But then her heart suggested that she should fight for her country like a man would, out on the front lines, against those disgusting Nazis. “They can take me. I volunteer for his place.”
“Vi, NO!” Powder shouted, tugging her sister’s arm, “You can’t go! No way I’m letting you go!” She said, her sobs and cries intensifying with each passing second.
“Vi, you’re a woman. You can’t go fight in the army.” Said Dad resolutely, a large sigh escaping his mouth, “How would you convince them otherwise? Claggor’s in… a healthy state to fight.” He said, his large hands moving for emphasis as his eyes scanned over his children. “I’m not letting you fight.”
“Yeah, but–” Vi reasoned, only to be cut off by Vander.
“No, Violet.” He said sternly, “You are not going to fight in a war that isn’t yours, Violet Lanes.” Said Dad, almost angry, “Claggor…” He turned his attention to Claggor, but seemed at a loss for words. “All men ages 18 through 45 are subject to the draft, you know that, Vi…” Said Vander as he turned his attention back to his eldest daughter.
Vi continued on anyway, disregarding the potential strain it might put on her relationship with her family, “Claggor can’t see without his glasses. And it’s the middle of his first year of college… they– they can’t just send him off like that.” She retorted, anger bubbling within her as it seemed to make her blood boil, her fists clenched on the table.
“Violet.” Vander started, “You will not be taking his place. That’s coming from me and the military. Do not test me.” Said Vander, his sternness almost turning into annoyance, and almost anger. “Now finish your dinner and we’ll talk about this later.” He said, closing the conversation as he returned to his food.
Vi looked to her sister, Powder, who still held onto her arm, “I’m sorry…” Whispered Vi as she finished her food quickly. “I’m going to bed.” She said as she stood up, reluctantly leaving her sister there alone with her two brothers. Sparing one more glance at her siblings, Mylo’s face was unreadable as he just sat there, his hands going through the motions of using his fork and knife, chewing, but his eyes were wide, and his jaw a little loose. It made Violet want to take Claggor’s place even more. “Shit…” She whispered under her breath as she made her way over to her and Powder’s room.
Violet ignored the disappointed faces her father gave her, and set off to bed, not caring enough to brush her teeth or take a shower. She didn’t care. All she cared about was taking her brother’s place. It was something she had to do, even if it landed her somewhere worse than expected.
The same thoughts plagued her throughout the night, even as her sister came into their room, tapping Vi gently to see if she was awake, which she was, “What, Powder?” Asked Vi as she turned over a little, the light in her eyes blinding a little in contrast to the darkness.
“You’re not actually going to take Claggor’s place, right?” Asked the younger sister as she sat down next to Vi on the top bunk. “You are not seriously thinking about it, right?” She asked nervously, her fingers playing with the hem of her older sister’s sheets.
“Pow…” Vi sighed, thinking deeply for a moment. ’Do I really want to do this?’ She asked herself, ’Yes, I do… for Claggor.’ She let go of a deep breath and replied, “I’m sorry, Pow…”
That was all Powder needed to start sobbing again, her eyes welling up with mountains of tears and her body trembled slightly. And Vi caught her younger sister in her arms, watching as her little sister’s smaller frame shook within her arms. The girl was in almost in her late teens now, but always acted like a little girl when she was with her older sister, something Vi was very used to by now. “I’m sorry…” Whispered Vi again, cradling her sister’s face in an arm. “Don’t worry about me, okay?”
Oh how naive she was…