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Seungmin is huffing and puffing by the time he makes it to the pharmacy. Running inside, he sighs in relief that there’s no line and continues to the counter. He slaps his hands down, getting an unimpressed look from the pharmacist on duty.
“Sorry,” Seungmin apologizes sheepishly, feeling his ears getting hot. “I was meant to pick up my suppressants last week, and time got away from me, and I’m a little jumpy. I have never let this happen before.” Seungmin doesn’t know why he’s telling this woman who doesn’t care about his life story, but he never wants to be considered irresponsible, especially when he’s being reckless.
“Your name?”
“Kim Seungmin,” he answers, still feeling flushed. It doesn’t feel like his heat, but it is close enough that it worries him and has his heart beating double time.
“Let me just pull up your file,” the pharmacist says as she types. There are a few of you here. What’s your address?”
Seungmin tells her as sweat drips down his spine. He knows it’s his mind playing tricks on him. He wouldn’t be starting his heat this quickly since he took his last pill two days ago. The suppressant should still be suppressing. He breathes out in relief as she smiles, goes into her little drawer, checks the identification labels, and brings over his prescription in a little paper bag.
“This is your last refill, so remember to make a doctor’s appointment.” Seungmin bows, thanks her, and turns to leave. “But Mr. Kim earlier is better. You don’t want a repeat of this.”
Seungmin blushes and bows again.
“I will.”
Seungmin doesn’t wait and rips the bag open as he steps into the street, cracks open the bottle, swallows the pill dry, and hurries on his way home.
If Seungmin hadn’t been so disorganized and hurried, he would have noticed that the normally white pill was a light baby blue.
He feels less feverish out in the chill of the evening. Still, he feels off; he knows his heat couldn’t possibly start but also knows that suppressant wouldn’t have an immediate effect. His anxiety took over, and he’s just coming down. It doesn’t matter why Seungmin is glad to feel better.
That only lasts for so long as an alpha and an omega couple pass him by. He can’t usually tell through scent what other’s genders are when he’s on suppressants, so it makes him nervous that he can tell so precisely. Also, while the omega smells pleasant, the alpha smells horrible, like rotten garbage. Seungmin holds his breath, walking as quickly as possible to pass them.
A few more alphas and betas pass him on the street; some smell better than others, but they all smell off. His head feels light, and he’s unsure if it’s from constantly holding his breath or the overwhelming feeling of helplessness.
He feels unsafe and unprotected as if all the alphas and betas are watching him. He picks up his pace again, basically running until he gets to his apartment. As soon as he gets into the building, his body relaxes. He’s home. He just has to get in the elevator, go up seven floors, and unlock his door, and he’ll be safe.
He does just that, and it’s only as his keys jingle in his hands that he worries. Hyunjin, his best friend and roommate, is an alpha, and if he stinks, Seungmin doesn’t know what he’ll do. Maybe he’ll have to stay with Felix for the night.
He opens the door and sucks in a breath and isn’t disgusted; on the contrary, he’s never smelled anything so good in his life. He steps inside and feels like he’s walking on a cloud; all the tension and worry and anxiety are gone until he stops himself.
Fuck.
This is not good.
“Hey, you’re home late?” Hyunjin says, his face lighting up with a smile as he pokes his head down the hall, where Seungmin is still internally panicking.
Seungmin doesn’t reply, and Hyunjin frowns and cocks his head and comes into the hallway, which blocks Seungmin’s escape.
Seungmin starts breathing heavily, body going from hot to cold and back again because Hyunjin is drenched in sweat. Scent wafting towards Seungmin in a gust of strong and compatible alpha wrapped in the scent of roses, subtle but rich.
Seungmin catches himself before he starts huffing the air, but he wants to, and that’s bad enough. Hyunjin moves closer.
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asks and holds onto Seungmin’s bicep, squeezing just a little. Seungmin needs Hyunjin’s hands all over him. But no. They’re friends. Alphas and omegas can be friends without fucking.
They can be, but Seungmin really wants to get fucked.
“I’m fine,” Seungmin says, but it sounds nothing close to truthful. Hyunjin leans in and takes a whiff of Seungmin, which has him tensing up.
“You smell scared,” Hyunjin says, his voice deepening like it never really does. Seungmin feels the timbre run down his spine and prays he doesn’t leak any slick, or he’ll be caught out.
“I got a little paranoid on my walk,” Seungmin tries with a bashful smile before moving around Hyunjin. But he’s so big. When did he get so big?
“Why?” Oh fuck, that tone again makes Seungmin want to bare his neck, but they are not having a repeat of tipsy Seungmin circa 2022.
“It’s later than normal with a lot of alphas out, and they all reeked,” Seungmin explains, and Hyunjin leans in again to catch Seungmin’s scent.
“Did they hassle you?” Hyunjin says, and now they’re way too close, breathing each other’s air.
“No, no, I said I got paranoid. I think I’m coming down with something, maybe,” Seungmin says, and it feels both like the truth and a lie.
“You want to take the first shower so you can rest?” Hyunjin asks, cupping Seungmin’s cheek and staring at him with concern.
“Uh, that would be nice if you don’t mind?” Seungmin doesn’t know why he’s still feeling so weird. He was fine for one minute, and now he’s reacting so strangely. He feels small and wants to make himself smaller even though he and Hyunjin are close to the same height.
“I don’t mind,” Hyunjin says, letting his fingers run across Seungmin’s jaw as he pulls his hand away. Seungmin hides his whole body shiver as he ducks around Hyunjin and down the hall when Hyunjin calls out. “But next time, please don’t lie to me.” He doesn’t sound angry; it’s a more controlled disappointment.
Seungmin's steps falter. Even though Hyunjin didn’t and has never used his alpha tone, Seungmin still feels the guilt down to his bones. He doesn’t answer. He continues into their apartment proper and straight to the bathroom.
He removes his clothes, which is made more difficult as they stick to his skin from sweat. He feels so hot like he should see steam rising from his skin. Now that he’s alone and can decompress, he feels tender, achy, and raw.
He breathes deep in and out as he turns the shower on. He knows this is in his head, but sometimes he can’t help that. As soon as he thinks of a new symptom that gets into his head, he has it. It’s mind over matter, and he needs to calm down.
If he were going into preheat, taking the suppressant would be enough to stop it. He has to let it work itself into his system. And even if it doesn’t, he’s safe in his home. Even if Hyunjin, an alpha who his scent can entice, is there. Hyunjin would never do anything Seungmin doesn’t want and is aware enough to leave the apartment if he feels uncomfortable or unable to control himself.
He turns the water to lukewarm. Cold would be too much of a shock, but he still wants to cool his heated skin. He washes himself and shampoos his hair, and by the time he’s out, he’s feeling more normal.
He didn’t bring any clothes with him, so he makes do by wrapping a large towel around himself. He leaves the bathroom, and Hyunjin is standing right outside the door. Seungmin feels gut-punched by Hyunjin’s scent again. He’s been on suppressants for so long and it’s dulled his senses. It’s overwhelming to get Hyunjin’s unfiltered scent for the first time in years, possibly ever.
Seungmin admits that even with his sense of smell dulled, he has always enjoyed Hyunjin’s scent, so it’s only fitting that he really likes it when he can smell it properly.
He forgot how scents affected him so strongly; it was one of the reasons he went on suppressants in the first place, but further down the list than being a whiny, reckless, and pathetic mess that heats turned him into.
“Sorry, I just wanted to know if you ate?” Hyunjin asks, and Seungmin can feel a drop of water fall down the bridge of his eyebrow and along his face, then drip down his collarbone before hitting the towel. Hyunjin watches it and Seungmin watches how his nostrils flair.
“I didn’t,” Seungmin admits, and his stomach tightens from hunger or arousal. He’s not completely sure.
“I can order something or whip whatever you want up quick?” Hyunjin looks so earnest, and that deep tone is nowhere to be found, but Seungmin still has the urge to squeeze his thighs together or drop his towel.
“Oh, that’s not necessary. I can have the leftovers from dinner the day before yesterday,” Seungmin answers. Seungmin doesn’t understand why Hyunjin looks a bit disappointed before nodding his head.
“Okay, I, uh, put some clothes on your bed if you want to wear them. If that will help make you feel better with how the other alpha’s worried you and you didn’t like their scent. Unless you don’t like mine, then I’m really sorry for getting it on your bed, but since you didn’t react negatively to me, I figured that you were fine with mine,” Hyunjin goes from speaking bashfully to a mile a minute in explanation.
“Oh, thanks, yeah, I like your scent, so that’s fine,” Seungmin says, feeling dread and excitement in equal measure at wearing Hyunjin’s clothes. All that normal he was feeling is out the window, and his body is heating up again.
“It’s odd that your sense of smell is so strong. Yours is normally dulled by your suppressant, isn’t it?” Hyunjin asks curiously, and Seungmin cringes.
“I got distracted and missed a couple of doses, and I ran to the pharmacy and got them and took them, and I think I just need to wait for them to kick in, and that’s why my sense of smell is stronger and why I felt jittery and nervous with those alphas and betas.”
“You’re not in preheat, are you?” Hyunjin asks taking a step forward and immediately moving back.
“No, I’m pretty sure it’s just my senses going into overdrive after so long being dulled. I took the suppressant, so I’m hoping by tomorrow everything will go back to normal,” Seungmin says, and Hyunjin has an unsure look on his face. “Why, does it smell like I’m in preheat? You’d be able to tell, right?”
“It doesn’t smell like heat exactly, but it is something; maybe since the suppressants dull your scent, I’m just smelling you fully for the first time in a long time?” Hyunjin says, but he doesn’t sound certain.
“I don’t really know, but the pharmacist had my history on screen, and I told her how long I was without suppressants, and she didn’t seem concerned, so I assume they will work like they always do,” Seungmin says with a shrug.
“And it’s okay for you to be on suppressants for as long as you have been?” Hyunjin asks, and Seungmin waffles.
“I mean, it's not bad, exactly; I know my doctor will make me take a break sooner or later, but for now, it’s fine.”
Hyunjin does not pursue that conversation further, although Seungmin senses that he wants to.
“Okay, get dressed, and I'll heat up the food. It’ll be in the living room when you’re ready.”
Seungmin drops his towel as soon as he gets his door shut. It’s odd feeling hot and cold in turns. Maybe this is exacerbated by Seungmin coming down with the flu. He can smell Hyunjin’s scent permeating his room from the clothes on his bed. It’s overpowering but it’s not bad, it would be easier if it were bad because Seungmin wouldn’t hurriedly pull on the too big sweat pants, t-shirt and sweatshirt and actually feel safe and protected engulfed in Hyunjin’s scent.
He’s calm in a way he hasn’t been all day, maybe not for years. His anxiety and insecurities are screaming at him that this isn’t right and will only lead to his embarrassment and shame. Still, his omega hindbrain luxuriates in the scent and comfort of having an alpha.
His hindbrain doesn’t realize Hyunjin isn’t his alpha, not when he was ready to protect him, wanted to feed him, and wanted to share his scent. His hindbrain is screaming much louder and much longer that Hyunjin is Seungmin’s alpha, and his worries are stupid and baseless. Seungmin thinks Hyunjin is being nice, and as an alpha, he wants to protect omegas, especially his best friend.
Seungmin needs to keep himself in check until the suppressant sets in. It’ll only make things weird and awkward, and he doesn’t want Hyunjin to be uncomfortable or forced to do something he doesn’t want to but will since Seungmin is his, technically, because they live together and are friends. Sometimes, lines are blurred by biological imperatives.
It’s fine. He can do this. He’s maybe a little horny, which is fucking weird since his sex drive has been nonexistent for so long. He also feels a little too omega right now, which Felix would want to punch him for saying so, but there’s no other way for Seungmin to describe it.
He feels needy and not quite at preheat levels, but he would like to cuddle up with Hyunjin on the couch, which is weird since Seungmin never initiated contact. That’s always Hyunjin. Hyunjin is touchy, feely, and very affectionate, and Seungmin hopes Hyunjin realizes that he can't do that until the suppressants kick in.
He wants to be taken care of, and that irritates him. That is one of the main reasons he wanted to be on suppressants: not to be beholden or dependent on an alpha’s scent, touch, approval, and company. He wanted to be his own person and live his life as close to a beta as possible.
The other reason is that before he started regularly taking suppressants, he took them as most young omegas did by making sure to have heat at least once a year. He hated heats. He hated yearning for an alpha that didn’t exist, feeling like his blood was boiling and feeling unbearably empty.
He hated that his parents had to leave their home so he could debase his childhood bedroom alone and shamefully.
His last heat was by far the worst. He felt sick. He hated the sight of his bare skin, hated how he leaked, ruining his bed sheets, and he never felt satisfied or fulfilled. Even once the heat subsided, there was a hangover of shame as he cleaned himself, his toys and his room and it never really went away until he went on suppressants and he didn’t have to deal with it. He asked his doctor if he could continue taking them since he was going to college and wanted to focus on his studies, not on heats or a partner. He didn’t mention the shame. He didn’t say that heats are what made him sometimes wish he wasn’t an omega.
The melancholy thoughts cool him off, so he shivers as he leaves his room and moves into the living room. There’s a piping hot plate with rice, veggies, and meat that Seungmin is starving for, but he’s made himself nauseous with his rumination.
“Are you cold? Do you need a blanket or something?” Hyunjin asks, hovering by the couch but not moving forward.
“You can sit by me,” Seungmin only notices his pleading tone after the words have left his mouth and holds back a cringe.
“Uh, yeah, I can do that,” Hyunjin says as he runs his hand through his hair. “But I should shower first; I don’t want to offend your delicate sensibilities,” Hyunjin tries to joke, but it’s not so funny when Seungmin would love to lick the dried sweat and salt off Hyunjin’s skin.
“You don’t need to,” Seungmin says when he should keep his mouth shut. Hyunjin’s fists clench.
“I’ll be super quick,” Hyunjin says, running to the bathroom to shower before Seungmin can speak again.
Seungmin’s a little disappointed, but he knows that Hyunjin is being smart. He is still reeling from being able to smell, and the entire world smells good, bad, and in between. Seungmin wants to drown it all out with his face in Hyunjin’s throat, but he knows that’s his omega needs talking, not the responsible adult who thinks things through.
He picks at his food. He’s hungry, but each bite makes him gag. Hyunjin returns as quickly as he promised, wearing clothes similar to the ones he lent to Seungmin. His dark hair is still dripping wet as he sits beside Seungmin. Seungmin shuffles over until they touch sides, pressing them tight together, but it doesn’t feel close enough.
Hyunjin breathes shakily, and normally, Seungmin would worry and care that Hyunjin is clearly uncomfortable and move away. Omega hindbrain is saying Seungmin’s alpha isn’t uncomfortable so much as affected by their proximity.
“You don’t like it?” Hyunjin asks, nodding to Seungmin’s still-full plate. Seungmin takes a bite in answer, and the sick, nauseous feeling is gone, and he’s hungry. He eats without stopping, shovelling spoonful after spoonful into his mouth. Only when he’s on his last mouthful does he realize he no longer feels sick because Hyunjin is there and close and keeping him steady.
This is worse than he thought, and it only gets worse when Hyunjin’s eyes zero in on Seungmin’s lip and brings his hand to slowly and gently cup his jaw and run his thumb from the corner of his mouth where one single grain of rice is stuck to Seungmin’s lip and pushes it into Seungmin’s mouth where Seungmin gets a taste of Hyunjin’s skin, unable to stop his tongue from giving the digit a kitten lick.
Hyunjin pulls his hand away like it burns and jumps up, jostling Seungmin’s plate and spoon.
“Sorry, let me take that,” Hyunjin says, grabbing the items with shaking hands and hurrying to their kitchen.
Seungmin feels equally shitty and euphoric. Hyunjin didn’t know how to react to him, which should only upset him, but Hyunjin’s scent spiked, turning to rich and decadent coffee and chocolate with only a hint of rose. It’s so intoxicating that Seungmin buries his face in the back of the couch to scent any lingering on the fabric.
Hyunjin comes back after a few moments. Luckily, Seungmin has removed his face from the couch. Hyunjin stands at a distance.
“You should go rest now. I don’t think you’re back to yourself yet,” Hyunjin says softly, rubbing his hands together nervously. Seungmin understands. He’s never shown an interest in Hyunjin as an alpha before, and licking his finger is a bit much.
It’s not that Seungmin doesn’t realize Hyunjin is a catch for any omega so inclined to have an alpha as their partner or mate. He realizes that. Realized the moment they met. Hyunjin is gorgeous; that’s not an opinion, it’s a fact. He’s nice and kind to everyone he meets. The only time he’s not is if you fuck with his friends or family, and then he’s not nice at all.
He’s a phenomenal dancer, and while alphas don’t tend to go towards careers or hobbies that society has deemed for omegas, he never saw a problem with his interests or himself. He’s mentally and emotionally strong, even if he tends to be a bit dramatic. It’s not serious; it’s a way to lighten the mood, which is another trait that is supposed to be assigned to an omega. He is secure in a way Seungmin dreams to be.
Plus, when everyone talked shit about him joining a dance team as an alpha, Seungmin always thought it was stupid for other alphas to believe that. If anything, Hyunjin is surrounded by eligible omegas often, and to these boneheaded stereotypical alphas, shouldn’t that be something they would find clever and smart?
Not that Hyunjin is like that. Seungmin assumes that Hyunjin has hooked up with omegas before and wouldn’t be surprised if some were from his dance team. Seungmin doesn’t like thinking about it, and the thought of Hyunjin with another omega angers him.
He knows that Hyunjin deserves a perfect partner, and Seungmin will never be that. Hyunjin is loving, affectionate, and thoughtful, while Seungmin is reserved and unsure of how to show his affection. While he wants to be thoughtful, he’s too full of thoughts to know which way is up and what to do.
Hyunjin needs someone more sure of themselves. If he ends up with an omega, it should be one who is comfortable being an omega whether they exhibit omega traits or not. Omega traits or not, a mate should be loving and affectionate and show they care, and Seungmin doesn’t think he can do that.
“Okay, I’ll see you after work tomorrow. I’m debating whether to go in a little earlier to make up for today since I was not paying attention during my last hour and will have to fix any mistakes I made.”
Hyunjin’s awkwardness vanishes at Seungmin’s words, and he stands taller. Once again, his pheromones seem to strangle Seungmin with their overpowering strength.
“I don’t think going to work is a good idea. You don’t know how you will feel tomorrow, whether the suppressants work or if you have the flu. You should call in to be on the safe side.” Hyunjin leaves no room for arguing. Again, no alpha tone is used, but he’s direct and sure, and even though he’s using words as if it’s a suggestion, it sure does not feel that way.
“Yeah, maybe I should, just in case,” Seungmin backs down quickly, and Hyunjin relaxes his posture.
“Good,” Hyunjin says, voice still coming out deep and a little raspy, and it’s enough for Seungmin to yearn for Hyunjin to add “boy” to the end of that thought, which jolts him up. This is only getting worse, these thoughts and feelings are too much, and the fucking suppressants need to work before Seungmin acts on anything and ruins their friendship.
“Okay, goodnight,” Seungmin says as he leaves the living room and goes into his bedroom before coming out again and going to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He feels like an idiot for forgetting while Hyunjin watches.
He’s glad that by the time he comes out, Hyunjin has gone into his room, and Seungmin goes into his own and flops on his bed. He texts his boss that he’s not feeling well and won’t be in tomorrow. He better wake up feeling put together again and not on some hair-trigger to jump Hyunjin’s bones so he can put this out of his mind.
He doesn’t need a blanket but still feels too hot for comfort. He doesn’t fall asleep quickly; thoughts he so easily contained before are running through his mind, like how strong Hyunjin has grown from dancing and working out. He likes his hair the best when it’s dark and natural but still thinks it's nice when he decides to go blond.
Hyunjin has always been an unassuming alpha. He doesn’t posture much, even though he is confident. He’s not arrogant or aggressive. Honestly, he’s the most chill alpha Seungmin knows. Then again, Seungmin has never seen him with a long-term partner, omega or otherwise. He would probably be a little less chill but nothing too intense. Seungmin would probably not be chill, either. Not with an alpha and all the pheromones, feelings, desires, and new worries sprouting up.
But Seungmin hasn’t been chill a day in his life, so it's nothing new, only a different kind of overthinking and anxiety. But then again, maybe an alpha would calm him out. Stranger things have happened.
He finally falls asleep when he becomes too exhausted for the thoughts to keep him awake. He has strange dreams with a faceless alpha that reminds Seungmin too much of Hyunjin, taking him, knotting him, and making him trill. There’s a time skip where his stomach has a bump, small and barely there, but Seungmin in the dream holds it lovingly in his hands before large hands with rings on most fingers, cold to the touch, rest on top of Seungmin’s. He startles by gasping awake.
He is burning up and drenched in sweat. His body hurts as he sits up, and it takes more effort than it should. His eyes hurt, and his sense of smell is off the charts, making his head feel like his brain is bashing all over his skull.
The suppressant clearly did not work. He gets up slowly and carefully, feeling off balance, and goes to the bathroom, where he left his prescription. He takes another pill, not knowing what else to do. He’s never had a reaction like this. He’s missed a day or two before without issue, but maybe that extra time really fucked up his cycle.
It doesn’t make sense. He’s heard from other omegas and his doctor when he started taking them regularly that if he ever wanted off them to be able to spend a heat with a partner, it would take a few weeks if not a month or more, to get them out of his system to be able to have a heat.
Maybe he’s been on them too long, and his need for a heat overrode the drugs? Still seems odd. He reads over the bottle, never having to do so, already knowing to take one per day, and sees that if the medication doesn’t start working to double dose. That doesn’t seem right, but Seungmin isn’t a medical doctor, and it’s right there on the label, so he takes another.
He goes to shower, water cooler than the night before because he’s so hot, sweating profusely, and he can smell himself; the omega scent that’s usually dampened is so strong now. It’s sickening how overpowering it is. His fruity scent of strawberry and vanilla always seemed out of place, another thing to be ashamed of. He always thought it was nice in small doses, but even going through his heats when he was younger, he couldn’t see anyone liking it in full force.
He feels more clear-headed after his shower, which was less about washing and more about cooling down. He doesn’t feel hungry, but he goes to have some toast and a coffee for breakfast. He sits and tries not to spiral because he feels more like he’s not just going into preheat but already there.
He turns on the television, and it’s on a news channel. He sees today’s date and groans. Hyunjin is expecting him at his dance recital tonight, Seungmin promised. This week has gotten away from him in more ways than one.
He squeezes his thighs together when he realizes Hyunjin will be drenched in sweat and pouring off Alpha pheromones that will overpower every single alpha and omega scent in the hall. He always comes up and wraps his arm around Seungmin. Normally this wouldn’t matter because normally Seungmin can’t smell a damn thing, but now he knows he is anticipating having Hyunjin’s scent all over him like it was when he was sleeping. No wonder he had fucked up dreams. But the scent would be thicker, more potent and would tell every alpha in the vicinity to back the fuck off.
He has to stop thinking these things. It’s just this pseudo-preheat talking. He’ll watch TV, rest for the day, and feel better about meeting everyone at the recital. Everything will be fine.
Everything is not fine. He doesn’t understand why he’s so hot or can smell Hyunjin everywhere, even when he’s been gone for hours. He texted asking how Seungmin was feeling, but Seungmin didn’t want to lie or tell the truth, so he landed somewhere in the middle, saying he felt the same as the night before.
He doesn’t feel delirious like he would during a heat. His mind is all there; it’s his thoughts that are running rampant. He wants to feel Hyunjin’s body pressed against his own, have Hyunjin’s hands all over his body, and have his lips follow their lead. He’s second-guessing what he should do tonight.
He knows Hyunjin would want him to stay home, especially since his scent has deepened, become more alluring, less sugary, sweet, and richer. He doesn’t think it’s bad enough to have Alphas vying for his attention. If anything, only Hyunjin and maybe Felix will pick up on it; by then, the recital will be over. Hyunjin will take him home, knot him, breed him, and make that dream come true.
Okay, he needs to dial it back. He promised Hyunjin he’d come like he always does. He’ll feel horrible if he misses it. Not just because Hyunjin is his closest friend but also because Seungmin is coming to realize that Hyunjin may not be his mate. Just thinking it makes his stomach cramp and his mouth fill with saliva, but he is his alpha even if it’s not official or romantic.
Hyunjin always ensures he’s okay and fed and does not spiral into overthinking every little move he makes. Like he said, Hyunjin is chill and knows just how to calm him, dramatic antics and all. He’d feel bad if he missed it if he weren't currently going through whatever this is, but now it’s worse. He’s too soft and tender, and either decision going or not feels wrong.
He still has a couple of hours before he has to leave. He will make a more informed decision closer to the time. For all he knows, this will break, and he’ll be back to normal.
Yeah, Seungmin doesn’t believe it either, but his mind is made up even if he pretends it’s not. Even if he pretends that he’s not the reckless sort, he’s a stickler for the rules if it’s not him, which he knows is an asshole trait, but it’s always easy for Seungmin to find a loophole.
He figures he doesn’t feel worse than he did when he woke up. He promised Hyunjin, plus it’s his job to cheer Hyunjin on when Hyunjin always shows up for him. It’s only fair. He’s also realizing how one-sided their relationship has become, and now it’s imperative that he goes.
He showers again with ice-cold water and should notice how bad things have gotten when it doesn’t shock his system like it should. It just feels nice on his overheated skin. It cools him at least momentarily that he can lie to himself that he’s gotten better. He puts on black pants and a white button-up shirt, the only “nice” clothes he has. He gets his wallet and keys and is about to leave the apartment when their landline rings.
They only have a landline because Seungmin’s parents bought it for them, not understanding that cell phones are always on them. Even Hyunjin’s parents prefer to call him on it. He lets it ring since he has someplace to be, and he or Hyunjin can call them back later.
“Hi, Mr. Kim, it’s Soyeon, the pharmacist you dealt with two days ago. I’m very sorry to inform you there has been a mix-up on your prescription, and you need to call me. If you don’t get back to me within the next few hours and only hear this, you need to get to a heat-safe area. You will now be going into an intense heat. I’ve seen on your file that you haven’t had a heat in years. You cannot spend this heat on your own unless you go to a heat centre and have them quarantine you. If not, I hope you have an alpha because, by the end of this, you will.”
Seungmin is trying to ignore the stares he’s getting, first from the taxi driver and now from other attendees at the recital. Maybe he went nose blind to his scent, and it’s worse than he thought. It’s too late now, and there are too many people for anyone to try anything with him.
He spots Chan and hurries to his side. He watches as Chan’s nostrils flare as he turns his head.
“What the fuck are you doing here smelling like that?” Chan asks angrily, eyes narrowed. Seungmin shrinks in on himself. Chan is an alpha, too, and he’s upset. Seungmin realizes he’s too far gone when he tilts his neck in submission and lets out a pitiful whine.” holy fuck. You’re in heat.”
Chan's head swivels like a cartoon character.
“I’m not in heat. It’s a weird fake preheat because I took my suppressants too late,” Seungmin explains, but Chan looks skeptical.
“Really? What doctor have you seen that has told you that?” Chan asks with too much attitude.
“I don't need to see a doctor for it. I know my own body,” Seungmin argues, and Chan scoffs.
“You obviously don’t. I’m telling you that you are in heat. Maybe it’s a slower start, but I can smell you. You must be hot?” Chan presumes, and Seungmin nods tightly. “Then why are you here? I know you know you shouldn’t be.”
“I always come to Hyunjin’s performances, and I promised him I’d be here,” Seungmin replies steadily, but doubt starts to sink in.
“He can’t know you’re in heat,” Chan says
“I’m not in fucking heat, and if I am, I wasn’t yesterday when I saw him.”
“So he has no clue?” Chan sends the same skeptical look again. “There’s no way you smell this ripe now, and last night, you were fine.”
“I may have been under the weather and called in today.”
“It’s like pulling fucking teeth with you. He’s going to be so pissed you’re here,” Chan sighs. Seungmin’s righteous indignation flounders with Chan’s words.
“He’s going to be mad?” Seungmin asks, voice shaking, and Chan’s eyes widen. “He should be happy I’m here.”
“No, it’s fine,” Chan tries to soothe, but Seungmin can feel himself trembling and all the heat vanishing as he shivers. “Fuck. You fucking imprinted on each other, didn’t you? I knew it was a bad idea to have you live together.”
“Of course, we’d live together. He’s my a-best friend,” Seungmin stutters.
“Right, best friends,” Chan placates, leaving his voice as a low, calming rumble. “How are you feeling? Tell the truth,” Chan ends with an alpha command.
“Sad and cold,” Seungmin says, unable to lie. “You said Hyunjin doesn’t want me.”
“I did not say anything of the sort. I said if he saw you, his omega,” Chan scoffs at Seungmin about to argue. “Let’s not play games. You’re his omega since you have been playing house together for years without talking about what you are to one another. So, if he sees you in heat in public, he’ll lose his mind.”
“I do think you’re right that he’s my alpha, but I don’t think I’m his omega,” Seungmin says, fully believing what he’s saying, even if it doesn’t make sense. If Hyunjin is his alpha, then Seungmin is his omega. Seungmin isn’t saying heat partner or boyfriend. He said alpha, which is a reciprocal thing. You can’t have one without the other.
“Okay, we are going to put a pin in that because that’s impossible,” Chan says and then snarls at an approaching alpha who only has eyes for Seungmin. His scent makes Seungmin sick, whereas Chan is more neutral, with nothing to like or dislike.
“Hey, if he came here in heat and you aren’t his partner, it means he’s looking for one.” Seungmin doesn’t know what’s happening. His primary issue, not to be confused with his minor ones, is that he still doesn’t think he’s in heat even though all signs point that way. It doesn’t make sense.
He does not like this alpha in his space. He doesn’t even really like Chan in his space or touching him, but it’s the lesser of two evils, and Seungmin knows Chan isn’t a threat. He wants to go home. He wants Hyunjin to take him home. Seungmin has either caught his phantom scent or the circulation in this room is impeccable.
“No, it means he’s an idiot, and his alpha is here, so I suggest you walk away before I make you,” Hyunjin says, voice deep and angry, and Seungmin can’t stop himself from latching on to Hyunjin and sticking his face in his throat and breathing deep.
But instead of Hyunjin’s scent calming him like it usually does, it makes his body heat, no longer cold or sad because Hyunjin said he was his alpha, so it must be true.
“Okay, Minnie, let’s go home,” Hyunjin says after the interloper walks away. Seungmin pulls away enough to look at Hyunjin’s face drawn in a frown. There’s something wrong with what Hyunjin is saying.
“You have to dance,” Seungmin says as Hyunjin nods and rolls his eyes to Chan and starts pulling Seungmin through the crowd, arm securely in place around his waist, and exits the building in no time, people moving out of their way with smirks and knowing smiles they are trying to hide.
“Seungmin, there’s something that needs my focus and attention more right now,” Hyunjin says lightly as they weave through the parking lot to get to Hyunjin’s car. Seungmin pouts. What could need his focus and attention more than the recital, in which he spent weeks practicing late to perfect? Seungmin racks his brain as they finally reach the car.
Hyunjin opens the passenger door and helps Seungmin, who has a little issue with balance and is unable to focus on anything but Hyunjin. Hyunjin leans across Seungmin to put on his seat belt, and that rich chocolate and coffee scent rises, and Seungmin can’t smell anything else. He feels drunk or drugged and leans up and nips Hyunjin’s throat before he’s able to move back out of the car.
“Seungmin,” Hyunjin says in frustration, pulling himself out of the car. He doesn’t look frustrated when Seungmin gets a look at his face. His eyes are dark, and he seems more serious than Seungmin thinks he’s ever seen him. Standing tall outside the car door and with how he took control and care of Seungmin to get him out and away and his scent that leaves no doubt that he wants Seungmin makes Seungmin clench his thighs together as he feels the slightest trickle of slick side out of his hole. He tilts his head, displaying the long column of his throat, and it feels right in a way it didn’t when he bared it to Chan.
Hyunjin growls low in his throat, eyes narrowed, with his mouth opened to breathe. Seungmin tilts his head further, and Hyunjin groans, stepping close enough to rest his large hand over Seungmin’s scent gland. He tightens his grip just a little, just a bit, and it has Seungmin squeezing his thighs tighter, whining with his eyes squeezed shut.
“You need to be good when I’m driving,” Hyunjin says, letting his fingers brush the curve in Seungmin’s jaw as he pulls away.
“I’m always good,” Seungmin says as he blinks his eyes open, feeling warm and hazy. Hyunjin clicks his tongue and smirks.
“No, you’re not.”
Hyunjin shuts the door and quickly moves around the car to get into the driver's seat. It’s hard for Seungmin to keep his hands to himself, but he wants to be good. The rational side that’s slowly slipping away knows he could easily cause Hyunjin to get into an accident, and he does not want that, so he puts his hands under his thighs to keep himself contained.
“Chan says you were going to be mad. Are you mad at me?” Seungmin asks as soon as the thought pops back into his mind. He has essentially made Hyunjin leave his own performance due to Seungmin’s shitty decision-making skills. Hyunjin sighs.
“I’m not mad,” Hyunjin says with a reassuring down, soft and sweet, that has Seungmin relaxing. “Could we have skipped me snapping into a blinding rage in point five seconds when I realized you were here and you were in heat and that an alpha was trying to encroach on you? Yes, but I know this isn’t your normal behaviour, and somehow, your suppressants aren’t working as they should. I’m debating whether or not it’s better if I take you to a heat center,” Hyunjin muses in the same gentle tone, but Seungmin feels ice run through his veins at the rejection.
“You said you were taking me home. Do you not want me? I thought you said you were my alpha. " Seungmin's voice is high and bordering on hysterical.
“Hey, hey, I am. I am. It’s just we haven’t had a chance to talk about it. We also should take you to a doctor or a heat centre to figure out what’s going on since you shouldn’t be in heat, but you are. I don’t want you doing anything you’re unsure of, and I can’t tell how far gone you are and if you can make an informed decision,” Hyunjin explains, and Seungmin shakes his head.
“I’m aware of what’s happening,” Seungmin says earnestly. Hyunjin is staring at the road, flicking the indicator to turn. The click, click, click makes Seungmin’s anxiety ratchet up when Hyunjin doesn’t respond. “Really. I’ve been so used to everything being dulled for so long that I didn’t -couldn’t see you or us or how you are to me or not as anything more than a really good friend. And then all of a sudden, every alpha but you smells disgusting and makes my skin crawl? And suddenly, I’m burning up like I haven’t done in years, feeling things I’ve never felt and in denial. You’re right that I didn’t make the best choice coming here tonight, but when I’ve pushed and dulled all my omega instincts for so long, all I could think about was that I had to show up for you and cheer you on like a good omega should but even though I knew I shouldn’t that overrode anything. Seeing you overrode everything.”
Seungmin is thankful that his mind is back in control for a minute. The nip was a moment of insanity that will be back, but for now, he can think and speak clearly. Hyunjin finally turns, and that incessant blinking stops.
“So, you want to spend your heat with me?” Hyunjin asks, making sure which Seungmin gets. They won’t just be heat partners. They’ll be matched.
“Yes! I want to spend every heat with you,” Seungmin exclaims. He may be coherent, but shame and embarrassment have left the building. Hyunjin grips the steering wheel enough to creak and breathes slowly but heavily.
“You know this isn’t sudden for me,” Hyunjin says, and Seungmin feels a pang in his chest for being so oblivious for so long. He still doesn’t think he realizes the extent of how Hyunjin feels or how he’s been treating him.
“I’m starting to see that,” Seungmin admits, and Hyunjin nods his head once as if he’s decided and presses on the gas.
Seungmin made sure to be good for the rest of the drive home. The silence didn’t worry him, but it didn’t make it easy to keep his hands to himself as his fingers itched to run along Hyunjin’s forearm and trace the prominent veins. He stayed strong, though.
Time begins to move strangely, speeding up and slowing down, and he blinks. Hyunjin is all but pulling him out of the car after they’ve screeched into their parking spot. Hyunjin isn’t rough but eager, and Seungmin is along for the ride. Now that they’re in agreement, and Seungmin knows Hyunjin is staying and keeping him, most rational thought leaves him. Once Hyunjin touches him, all bets are off, and Seungmin clings and shoves his face in Hyunjin’s throat, taking deep gulping breaths.
Seungmin is leaking slick heavily now as his temperature rises steadily. It’s not like the hot flashes that eventually tapered off while still feeling warm from before. He feels as if his body is at a slow simmer until he blinks again, and Hyunjin presses him against the elevator wall and takes his turn nosing along the column of Seungmin’s throat and pressing firmly against the scent gland.
“I don’t think I’ve ever smelled you this clearly before. Always just a teasing whiff of strawberry that made my mouth water,” Hyunjin says, pressing his bared teeth to Seungmin’s sensitive and heated skin.
Seungmin’s boiling over, grasping Hyunjin’s t-shirt and whining. He doesn’t bother pressing his thighs together and lets the arousal build and roll through him as slick trickles down his inner thigh before seeping into his pants.
Hyunjin pulls away much too soon when the elevator dings their arrival on their floor, leaving Seungmin floundering and his lips feeling bereft. They move quickly out into the hallway. Seungmin stumbles along until Hyunjin stops and picks him up with a hidden strength Seungmin wasn't aware of but wants to get better acquainted with. Hyunjin’s keys jangle as he takes them from his pocket, holding Seungmin pressed to the door, letting it take some of Seungmin’s weight as he unlocks it.
They fall through when it opens, but Hyunjin’s reflexes are quick, and he balances them before disaster strikes. He doesn’t bring Seungmin to the living room couch, or either of their rooms like Seungmin assumed he would. Hyunjin makes a quick left into their kitchen and sets him on the counter before crowding in between his legs.
Hyunjin does the one thing that Seungmin can now admit he’s wanted. He kisses him, pressing soft, full lips firmly against Seungmin’s.
Seungmin denied and refused to acknowledge his feelings, pushing his desires so far down to continue pretending they were nothing more than friends, pretending he wanted to be nothing more than friends, but even at his peak willful blindness, he let his eyes trace Hyunjin’s plump bottom lip and regarded it as only appreciating beauty.
Hyunjin grips the back of Seungmin’s head, angling him as he wants.
Hyunjin doesn’t hold back, nipping Seungmin’s bottom lip hard enough to throb. Seungmin keens into the kiss as Hyunjin slips in his tongue, moaning as he tastes Seungmin for the first time. His grip tightens, pulling at the hair at Seungmin’s nape. Hyunjin’s other hand runs from Seungmin’s knee to hold his hip, locking him into place.
Seungmin feels contained, controlled, and free all at once.
But Seungmin isn’t held so tight that he can’t shuffle closer and press his straining cock against Hyunjin’s hard stomach groaning into the kiss at the delicious pressure.
“How are you feeling?” Hyunjin asks with red swollen lips as he pulls away, but there’s no thought in Seungmin’s head as he tries to follow, lips still pouted and puckered. “Hey puppy, how are you doing?” Hyunjin tries again, pulling further away, taking his hand from Seungmin’s hair and positioning it on Seungmin’s other hip to keep him from moving any closer.
“I’m really hot,” Seungmin says, sounding dazed as he pants and squirms around, trying to take his shirt off without undoing the buttons. Hyunjin chuckles softly, but it doesn’t sound like he’s laughing at Seungmin. The sound is warm, and his fingers are light as he helps get Seungmin out of his shirt.
“Yeah, you must be,” Hyunjin says. “I’ve heard it’s good to get you off quick so you don’t get too hot.” Seungmin likes the sound of that and hums appreciatively as Hyunjin takes his arms out of his shirt, but there’s something off.
“What do you mean heard?” Seungmin asks while Hyunjin goes right to his belt to undo the buckle.
“What do you mean what do I mean? I’ve gotten a few pointers from other alphas and omegas throughout the years,” Hyunjin explains matter-of-factly.
“Like omegas, you’ve helped through their heats?” Seungmin asks but knows that’s not right. Hyunjin barks out an incredulous laugh.
“What? No. I’ve never partnered anyone. How could I? And who?”
“From the dance team?” Seungmin asks bashfully, and Hyunjin grins.
“That would never happen for two reasons: one, it’s always been you and two, they think we’re already matched and are just having a long courtship,” Hyunjin tells Seungmin, pink high on his cheeks.
“Why do they think we’re matched?” Seungmin asks confused. Seungmin watches as Hyunjin seesaws his head this way and that before giving Seungmin an innocent look.
“I may have implied it,” he finally says and Seungmin squints.
“How?”
“By telling them you’re my omega,” Hyunjin says, and Seungmin promptly bursts into tears.
“Oh, puppy,” Hyunjin croons as he wraps his arms around Seungmin and pulls him into his body.
“I’m not sad,” Seungmin croaks out. Hyunjin hums, running a hand up and down Seungmin’s back. “I never thought I’d be someone’s omega. Like even when I understood you were my alpha, I was sure there was some kind of fuck up where I wasn’t your omega,” Seungmin says, sniffling and wiping his face on Hyunjin’s shirt.
“That’s not how that works,” Hyunjin says softly as he strokes up into Seungmin’s hair and tugs so they’re looking into each other's eyes. Seungmin sniffs again, eyelashes thick and wet.
“It could, you don’t know. There could be other omegas and alphas that have a one-sided mate.” Hyunjin dips his head in concession, and a few more tears fall down Seungmin’s face.
“Maybe, but I don’t think so, and that’s not you. You have me. You’ve had me from the very start. You’re mine, and I won’t let you go, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Yeah,” Seungmin starts softly, “you’re my alpha.”
Hyunjin surges forward, smashing his lips to Seungmin’s before littering kisses all over his face and down his neck He sets his teeth lightly on Seungmin’s scent gland, pressing down just enough for Seungmin to keen, he pushes himself further into Hyunjin’s mouth, who rumbles out a low growl in satisfaction.
“One day,” Hyunjin murmurs as he pulls away and gets back to work on talking Seungmin’s pants and boxers off while making sure he doesn’t slip.
The air in the apartment doesn’t chill his heated skin at all. Hyunjin looks his fill, letting his gaze move leisurely across Seungmin’s body, and Seungmin swears he can feel the look like a caress.
“So pretty, puppy,” Hyunjin says, petting Seungmin’s thighs before taking his dick into his large warm hand. Seungmin thrusts up, and he’s so overstimulated that he’s not sure what to do, feeling like helpless putty in Hyunjin’s hand. Seungmin has never been touched by anyone but himself, and even that has been rare since he started his regiment of suppressants.
But it feels good to rock his hips into Hyunjin’s fist, to be looked at and admired and wanted. And to want in return. He wants so much right now. For Hyunjin’s clothes to be off, for his hand to slip lower and his fingers to press inside where he needs it the most, to have their bodies writhing against one another, sweat making the glide easier.
He can’t speak, though. He has to take what Hyunjin is giving him, stroking him faster and faster as he hurdles toward a climax that feels like it’ll break him apart. His orgasm shouldn’t take him by surprise, but it does, and he’s loud as he whimpers, painting Hyunjin’s fist with his spend as Hyunjin continues to milk him to over-sensitivity.
He whines high and shrill when it gets to be too much. Hyunjin strokes one last time before bringing his hand and licking his knuckles clean, and sucking his thumb into his mouth to get every drop.
Seungmin feels out of control, his body not following his brain's instructions. Speaking is difficult, but he purrs and tries to grab Hyunjin to pull him in for a kiss. His grasp is weak and ineffectual, only landing on the bottom of Hyunjin’s shirt. He changes course, realizing his quandary, and tries to pull it off, only pulling it up an inch before getting stuck.
Hyunjin takes off his shirt, and Seungmin stares unblinkingly at the taut, smooth skin that’s revealed. He squirms at the accumulation of slick on the countertop, making him slide, balance off, and flail before Hyunjin steps in close again, keeping him steady.
Hyunjin takes Seungmin’s hand, which has flopped uselessly to his side with his knuckles knocking the counter, and brings it to rest palm down on his chest. The skin is hot to the touch but not as feverish as Seungmin’s own. Hyunjin slides it slowly down his chest to his stomach and lower to let Seungmin feel how hard he is as he strains against his zipper.
“Felix always said you wanted me too, even if you didn’t know it. That it was in the way you looked at me, and maybe that’s true, but you’ve never looked at me how you are now. With your pretty doe eyes opened wide and full of desire. Can you see it in mine?”
“Yeah,” Seungmin says eloquently, panting out the word as he takes Hyunjin’s hand and presses it between his legs and down where he’s so wet and empty. “Show me.”
It’s like a switch is flipped, and Hyunjin is all action, slithering his hands under Seungmin’s thighs to pull him closer, tipping Seungmin forward so he can pet Seungmin’s leaking hole with his middle finger. Seungmin squirms, whines, and leans his face closer to nip at Hyunjin’s bottom lip like an overexcited puppy.
Hyunjin sinks his finger in deep, and Seungmin’s head tilts back to moan to the ceiling.
“You’re so fucking hot,” Hyunjin says with a deep growl that reverberates through Seungmin, making him clench down one Hyunjin’s finger as he leaks like a sieve.
“You,” Seungmin argues back, but he’s too breathless, and it sounds more like a prayer.
“No, you,” Hyunjin volleys pointedly as he sinks his ring finger alongside his middle. There’s no stretch or burn; it's just a smooth glide that has Seungmin wanting more.
Hyunjin fucks slowly at first, too slowly, making Seungmin desperate and whining his frustration. Then Hyunjin fucks him with purpose hitting his prostate with unerring accuracy until Seungmin’s thighs tremble, and he leans forward again, this time to rest his forehead against Hyunjin’s, his hazy eyes unfocused as he tries to keep them open. Hyunjin’s are black as night and determined and fathomless. Hyunjin adds a third finger that still doesn’t hurt but has Seungmin feeling full, feeling the pressure and the stretch, opening up further as Hyunjin thrusts in and out. Seungmin is shaking, and his stomach tenses as he hurdles toward climax. He cries out as he comes, adding to the mess on Hyunjin’s shirt and his own stomach.
Hyunjin doesn’t remove his fingers and lets Seungmin clench down around them to feel full.
Seungmin’s head feels clearer but he knows it’ll only be for a moment or two. He’s never had the fog recede before. His heats were a constant agonizing emptiness and no matter how many times he made himself come he’d never feel satisfied, never feel good. He’d only feel lonely and useless and ashamed.
“This is nice,” Seungmin says, his words slurring. Being wrapped up in Hyunjin’s scent and having his merge with Hyunjin’s is nice. It smells nice and proper and mixes perfectly. Chocolate and vanilla mingle equally, but Hyunjin’s dark coffee note completely covers Seungmin’s strawberry. A touch of rose that doesn’t overpower is barely there, just enough to catch it at the end.
“Yeah,” Hyunjin says softly, eyes bright and teeth on display as he grins. “You’re feeling good, then?”
“Mmm,” Seungmin hums as his eyes fight to stay open. He never wants to stop looking at Hyunjin. He’s so beautiful that it is sometimes unreal, which is why it was easy to disregard attraction. Everyone thought Hyunjin was beautiful but didn’t necessarily want to be with him or be his.
Hyunjin reaches for something before turning on the water. Seungmin’s closed his eyes and feels a glass on his lip.
“Drink up puppy. I don’t want you to get dehydrated,” Hyunjin says as he tips the glass. Seungmin doesn’t want to drink. He doesn’t want anything that’s not Hyunjin’s skin on his lips or in his mouth, but Hyunjin wants him to, so he swallows and obeys.
A drop slides off his lip as Hyunjin pulls the glass away. Hyunjin is right there licking it up as the glass rattles on the counter. Hyunjin licks into Seungmin’s mouth and picks him up, startling Seungmin into wrapping his arms and legs around him tightly.
Seungmin moans into the kiss, the fog of heat returning at Hyunjin’s display of strength and alpha possession.
Hyunjin doesn’t pull away as he navigates the apartment, and Seungmin is already breathless but so eager that he doesn’t care as his head feels lighter and lighter.
Hyunjin pulls away, and Seungmin gasps, eyes drawn to Hyunjin’s raw and red lips. They’re moving as Hyunjin speaks, but Seungmin can’t make out the words. Hyunjin adjusts his grip to only one arm holding Seungmin up.
“Hey,” Hyunjin says, clutching Seungmin’s jaw to focus him. “Puppy, whose room do you want?” Hyunjin asks again, and Seungmin shakes his head to get his bearings.
He didn’t even nest; it barely registered as he was in denial about going into heat. His room won’t have enough of Hyunjin’s scent.
“Yours,” Seungmin says, already anticipating getting his scent over everything in Hyunjin’s room until they’re mixed so well that they create a new scent that’ll cling for days, longer since this isn’t a one-off. They’ll be together mixing scents forever.
Hyunjin continues into his bedroom, and Seungmin has to close his eyes at the onslaught of pure alpha in this room. Hyunjin's scent has been dulled to Seungmin, but this is more. This isn’t just calm Hyunjin, the chill alpha’s scent that’s pleasant and comforting. This room is filled with arousal, notes of frustration, desperation and sadness that make Seungmin cringe away from and into Hyunjin’s neck, fighting his hold when Hyunjin tries to put him on the bed.
“You were sad?” Seungmin asks plaintively, lips brushing Hyunjin’s skin. Hyunjin sighs, turns them around so he can sit and wraps his arms around Seungmin properly. “You shouldn’t be,” Seungmin says, not in recrimination but as if he’s stating a fact. Because Hyunjin shouldn’t ever be sad, Seungmin doesn’t like it.
“I’m not now, am I?” Hyunjin asks, and Seungmin shakes his head, which makes him nuzzle further, ensuring he doesn’t smell anything upsetting on Hyunjin.
“But you were,” Seungmin says accusingly. He never told Seungmin he was sad, and that’s something he should have.
“It wasn’t a big deal, and I turned out to be wrong anyway,” Hyunjin explains. He runs his hands through Seungmin’s hair, pushing the strands stuck to his forehead with sweat away.
“About?” Seungmin asks, wanting to know, but Hyunjin’s touch feels like fire across his scalp, and he shivers, leaking all over Hyunjin’s pants.
“You,” Hyunjin says matter of factly and Seungmin jolts.
“Me? You were sad over me?” Seungmin does not like that. Hates it. He claws closer, and Hyunjin shushes him, moving his hands to Seungmin’s back and rubbing in small circles.
“I thought you weren’t interested in me,” Hyunjin says, speaking quickly so Seungmin can’t get a word in edgewise. “You didn’t like other alpha scents, but you were okay with mine. Last night, I couldn’t tell if you wanted me or just wanted an alpha since I assumed, even if you didn’t believe it, that you were at least in preheat, which you were.”
“But you ran away,” Seungmin says, “twice! Once to shower, and before you told me I wasn’t myself, and said I should go rest!” Seungmin feels frantic and confused.
“Yes, but you didn’t come to me like I was your alpha. Every omega that’s told me how their heat is says they nest anywhere from a couple of days to a week in advance. You didn’t. I gave you my clothes, which added to my feeling bad because I felt like I was cheating by giving them without you asking. They also say they cling to their alphas, and yes, you wanted me near, but you didn’t cling to me.”
Seungmin feels a pit open up in his stomach, leaving him feeling hollow. Is this where he tells Hyunjin he doesn’t think he’s like other omegas? That there might be something wrong with him? Seungmin doesn’t get a chance as Hyunjin continues.
“So last night, I tossed and turned and worried that maybe we didn’t belong together.” Seungmin whimpers. “But then I realized you’ve been on suppressants for so long that your instincts are out of whack. Plus, you’re very reserved, and you don’t initiate contact, and that may just be you or the suppressants and either way, it doesn’t matter because I know you’re mine, so even if you never came to my recital, and you weren’t in heat then I knew I’d have to be patient and wait for you to catch up however long it took.” Hyunjin reaches up to touch his face —no, he’s wiping Seungmin’s tears, which he didn’t know were falling. “But we’re here now. I have you, yeah?” Hyunjin cajoles, and Seungmin nods as more tears drip. “Yeah, my pretty little omega. I’m not sad anymore; I just let my doubts and insecurities get the best of me.”
“You’re sure that’s all it was?” Seungmin asks, heat banking. Hyunjin smiles, eyes crinkling as he wipes more tears.
“So sensitive, my baby, but that was it. I haven’t been back enough to have it covered. I’m fine now, actually I’m great, having you on my lap.” Hyunjin pulls Seungmin closer by the hips, pressing their groins together. Seungmin sucks in a breath at how hard and large Hyunjin feels.
It’s no surprise, really, as alphas are generally on the larger side, whereas omegas are on the smaller side. It’s something Seungmin secretly scoffs at, but here and now, he can’t help but be turned on.
He now understands the inherent need to be spread open and filled; the bigger, the better. Seungmin wants to feel it, feel it through his body's natural release of endorphins during a heat, when the secretion of slick makes mating easy, with no need for prep, just an easy slide-in. For Seungmin to truly feel Hyunjin, he’d have to be big, and although Seungmin is no connoisseur since he’s only seen dicks in porn, Hyunjin feels like he stacks up with the competition.
“You gonna knot me, Alpha?” the words come out breathlessly eager, and Hyunjin's grip tightens on Seungmin’s hip, to just painful, and Seungmin moans and tries to shuffle closer to get some delicious friction, but Hyunjin holds him still.
“Seungmin,” Hyunjin calls his attention, but Seungmin still tries to move closer. “Hey, puppy,” Hyunjin tries again. Seungmin lifts his hooded eyes, feeling hazy as the fog comes back and his heat rises. “I love you,” Hyunjin says, blushing high on his cheeks.
Seungmin understands every word. His heart beats heavily in his chest. He wants to say it back, but all he can manage is a whine. He tries again to get closer. He wants to crawl inside Hyunjin and never leave.
“I'll say it again when you understand better.” Hyunjin leans in and kisses Seungmin gently, almost chastely, if it weren’t for the slick slide of his tongue into Seungmin’s mouth. Seungmin gets his hands in Hyunjin’s long dark locks and is the one to angle Hyunjin as he wants to deepen the kiss. He crushes himself to Hyunjin, and his hands start wandering in no time, running along any part of Hyunjin he can reach.
Seungmin feels frenzied. The kiss turns frantic, spit running out the sides of his lips. Hyunjin pills back forcefully, eyes heated, and lips red. He wants Hyunjin to know he loves him back, tries to show it with his body. Seungmin doesn’t want Hyunjin pulling back, so he lets out a growl, sounding much too puppy-like to be intimidating and surges forward again. Still, Hyunjin stands, taking Seungmin’s full weight like it’s nothing and his growl, if he can even call it that, trails off into a moan.
He really likes being held and carried. Likes that Hyunjin is strong enough to do it as easy as breathing. He likes that Hyunjin takes control and sets him on the mattress carefully.
“Scooch up the bed,” Hyunjin says, and it’s not an order, nowhere near, closer to a suggestion, but it kind of feels like one. Usually, Seungmin hates any form of order or demand, but there’s something about it if Hyunjin commands him. Hyunjin cares and only wants the best for him. Seungmin wants to please Hyunjin. It’s not some harsh or grating request, which makes Seungmin want to do it. He wonders if this is how all omegas feel and why they follow their alphas so blindly.
If that’s the case, he gets it now.
Seungmin wriggles up the bed, so he’s in the middle, sitting up and watching Hyunjin unwaveringly. Hyunjin takes this moment to remove his shirt and pants along with his underwear, leaving him naked for Seungmin’s eyes.
Seungmin may be drooling. He knew Hyunjin was attractive. Knew he had a nice body, but this is more than nice. He’s built, not excessively, but way more than Seungmin thought he was. Seungmin can’t stop staring at Hyunjin’s defined abs. It’s a good thing he isn’t in his right mind now, or he’d be feeling insecure and unappealing with his soft thighs and small but rounded belly. It’s true if he wasn’t in the fog of heat that luckily makes Seungmin feel needy and amorous, he’d feel unfit and unworthy even with Hyunjin’s eyes on him like brands.
That may be something Seungmin will have to work on in the future, but he’s sure it’ll be easy with Hyunjin around.
“You’re so hot, hyung,” Seungmin says, sounding awed. Hyunjin flexes automatically, and Seungmin can’t function. He tries not to let his eyes lock on Hyunjin’s cock, hard and red and straining. It’s difficult but not so bad with everything Hyunjin offers on display.
“What did you call me, baby?” Hyunjin asks, giddy, and Seungmin thinks over what he just said, blushes, and turns his head away. Hyunjin doesn’t let him, crawls on the bed, and gets into Seungmin’s space. “Say it again. You’ve never called me it before, and I’m sure I’ve dropped hints.”
“I called you hyung,” Seungmin answers sheepishly.
“I am well on my way to having every fantasy played out tonight,” Hyunjin says offhand. Seungmin’s mind boggles at Hyunjin having fantasies about him. “You seem surprised, puppy. I’ve thought about you a lot —like a lot. Maybe too much, but who’s to say,” Hyunjin says, shrugging before slotting their lips together again, and Seungmin’s mind can’t do anything but scream for more as Hyunjin cups his jaw and holds him in place.
He's boiling over again. Skin overheated, sweating profusely, and slick ruining the sheets. He whimpers and keens into the kiss. He tries to touch all of Hyunjin’s beautiful skin on display; he doesn’t know what to do even if he knows what he wants. His hands are stupid and clumsy, and if he were in his right mind, he’d think there’s no way this incessant pawing would be a turn-on for Hyunjin.
Hyunjin finally has enough of Seungmin’s amateur technique and grasps his wrists together while pushing him down on the bed, arms stretched out and the backs of his hands resting on the pillow, held firmly in place by his alpha.
Any higher thinking Seungmin has had up to this point is gone, mind pure omega in heat, and things start to get hazy.
He feels as Hyunjin kisses down his throat, sucking and lapping at the salt on his skin. Seungmin’s entire body feels tender and needy like he was when he was younger, but there’s no shame.
Hyunjin's hands, mouth, and tongue feed the liberation of any doubts or insecurities Seungmin has had. Each touch lets Seungmin know he’s not alone and doesn’t have to endure another heat without a partner, without his alpha. Hyunjin is here and wants him and is sealing up every crack Seungmin had. Seungmin felt alone and unwanted, feverish and unfulfilled, but not anymore. Well, he still feels feverish.
“Please,” Seungmin hears himself say, his voice coming out as a rasp. Hyunjin pays no mind and continues kissing down his skin before sinking his teeth in at Seungmin’s hip. Pain flares, but it hurts so good, dick hard and throbbing and weeping. “Again,” voice a strained whisper as Hyunjin sucks at the tender spot before moving lower, mouthing at Seungmin’s dick.
Seungmin gasps out, jolts and tries to thrust and get Hyunjin’s mouth on him, but Hyunjin has already slid away, mouthing at Seungmin’s inner thigh before biting and biting and biting down hard enough to break the skin as Seungmin keens.
“Alpha,” Seungmin tries again because even though everything feels good he wants more. He needs more. He wants to be full. He feels so empty and doesn’t understand because Hyunjin is right there, is as hard as Seungmin is, but he’s not inside him.
Hyunjin moves quickly to kneel on the bed. He gets his arms under Seungmin’s legs and tilts him up sharply, and Seungmin’s hole is on display. Seungmin feels like the world is tilted on an axis, disoriented, body limp and uncoordinated. Hyunjin leans down and sucks at his rim. Seungmin squeals high as Hyunjin licks inside him and tastes his slick, his need, and desire. Seungmin’s squeal tapers off into a low, mournful moan.
He wants so badly and feels tears leak out of his eyes, desperate for more as Hyunjin subjects him to this cruel teasing pleasure.
“Please, please, please,” The words come out like a chant. Seungmin is gone, and in his place is a needy, begging thing. He can’t make out what Hyunjin says when he comes up for air, movements frantic until he thrusts three fingers in Seungmin’s hot, wet heat. Seungmin feels the tendrils of relief, barely there, but enough that his haze recedes a touch. Enough that Seungmin is aware when Hyunjin shuffles forward on his knees and locks eyes with Seungmin. “Please, Alpha.” Seungmin is also aware of how pitiful he sounds, his voice thick with tears, and Hyunjin pulls his fingers out.
A moment of pure emptiness, a sunken feeling in his stomach as tears fall. Everything is wrong with the world and with Seungmin. He doesn’t understand, and he wants. He hurts, and Hyunjin lines his cock and slides in steadily, sure and without pause, and when he’s balls deep inside, Seungmin can breathe.
Seungmin is at peace.
Hyunjin sets a brutal pace. He fucks hard and fast and deep, and Seungmin hates every time he withdraws, stomach tightening with anxiety, thinking Hyunjin won’t fill him again.
It doesn’t happen. But his fear ratchets up every time Hyunjin’s knot pulls at his rim, Seungmin’s heart palpitating. He feels like he’ll die if Hyunjin doesn’t knot him, on tender-hooks waiting and anticipating and praying for Hyunjin to fuck in and swell and breed him and stay locked within him.
Seungmin’s breathing is erratic, heart jumping; Hyunjin thrusts in, and the tug to his rim has Seungmin whining and clawing at the sheets, always a second too slow to clench down and keep Hyunjin inside.
Hyunjin’s knot pops in and out again and again as sweat slicks Seungmin’s skin; he feels feral and desperate, whimpering out nonsense, eyes clenched as tight as his fingers in the sheets, turning his skin painfully white.
And then Hyunjin fucks in, harder and deeper than before, and Seungmin groans obscenely; feeling so full, Hyunjin tries to pull out, but his knot is stuck tight. Hyunjin grips Seungmin’s hips and rocks and fucks as much as he’s able as they're stuck together, pulling painfully on Seungmin’s rim that’s holding on for dear life.
Seungmin’s body buzzes, feeling like it’s crackling like a live-wire mind, and every nerve ending is on fire as his prostate is constantly pressed on by Hyunjin’s fat knot, unrelenting, undeniable and making Seungmin break apart.
Hyunjin comes with a deep guttural sound, pressed against Seungmin’s throat and bites down sure and hard. Seungmin is whining high in his throat as he comes and clamps down hard on Hyunjin’s cock and knot, making Hyunjin bite harder through skin, and Seungmin rides his climax on a wave scented with salt, copper and dark chocolate.
Hyunjin holds himself up by his elbows, breathing hot air against Seungmin’s already heated skin. Seungmin luxuriates in the weight Hyunjin allows himself to rest on him, their mingled scents and filling full to burst as Hyunjin comes and comes and comes inside him until it’s some weird mix of uncomfortable and so fucking hot that Seungmin might die from this.
Hyunjin slides up through their mingled sweat and kisses Seungmin sweetly, tasting the back of his teeth before sucking at his bottom lip. Hyunjin’s still coming. Seungmin can feel it, feel how it leaks out around Hyunjin’s knot and runs down to the small of his back—rocking his hips shallowly as he continues to fill Seungmin.
“Did you mate me?” Seungmin gasps as Hyunjin drags his lips down his neck to suck at the aching and throbbing mark he left before.
“No, puppy, you’d know if I did,” Hyunjin tells him, and Seungmin knows that’s true, but it feels like Hyunjin did something more than just fuck and bite him, something that bonded them without mating them. “Close, though,” Hyunjin says and licks a strip across his mark and finally stops undulating his hips, spent for now.
He grabs Seungmin around the waist and flips him so Seungmin is lying on him, spread and speared on his knot, legs on either side and lays down. Hyunjin breathes deep. His dark, sweaty hair is stuck to his forehead and cheeks, cheeks that are red with exertion as he pants, running his hands up and down Seungmin’s back.
Seungmin feels good now. There is no shame here. Not with his alpha inside him and Seungmin cocooned in his arms. The fog is still on the periphery, but Seungmin has a moment to enjoy the closeness and satisfaction of being held, kept, and loved.
He still hasn’t said he loves Hyunjin back, but he will. Maybe not before the next wave of heat since his eyes are getting heavy, head resting in the crook of Hyunjin’s neck, but he thinks Hyunjin must know. He’s Hyunjin’s omega, and Hyunjin is his alpha, and they’re best friends. He loves him in all the ways someone can love. Hyunjin must know, but Seungmin will say it again and again because Hyunjin deserves to hear it.
After the first round, Seungmin’s glimpse of calm where he could enjoy the moment doesn’t last long. When Hyunjin is still knotted the heat takes over again. Hyunjin fucks him as well as he can in their position, but Seungmin being wrapped around him and not any help as he’s laying doesn’t give him much leverage.
He ends up using his hands, and the peace between rounds gets smaller and smaller. Seungmin wants to be continuously bred, mindless with it. He begs and cries for it, and Hyunjin tries his best to satisfy him.
It’s almost an impossible feat but Hyunjin works hard until Seungmin is too exhausted to move.
Seungmin wakes from a short nap that’s more like going unconscious than falling asleep. Hyunjin is knotted inside him but the knot going down as they lay with Hyunjin spooned up behind him.
He’s not sure how much time has passed, how many times Hyunjin has knotted him, or how many times he’s come, but he knows it's been a lot. He still wants more, even now, wants Hyunjin to swell again.
“Hey puppy, you have to eat a little,” Seungmin groans into the pillow his face is smooshed into. He’s wet and messy and would find it gross if he didn’t love how completely he smells of Hyunjin; pure, unfiltered alpha set in his skin with sweat and come.
Hyunjin pulls out slowly and gently, and Seungmin whines at the loss. He loves and hates the surge of come that leaks out of him. He loves how much of it there is, his hindbrain coming up with the connection between the copious amount and how virile and strong his alpha is, how easy it would be for Seungmin to be pupped up.
“But first, we are going to get rinsed off,” Hyunjin says, and Seungmin groans again, uninterested in leaving their bed. Hyunjin sighs. “Please, baby, I need to take care of you,” Hyunjin tells him, and Seungmin blinks blurry eyes at him.
“Knot me?” He suggests words high and innocent, and Hyunjin laughs with an edge of hysteria.
“Not yet. You have to wash up a bit. No, don’t look at me like that,” Hyunjin says, pointing to Seungmin’s pout. “We will get you covered in my come soon enough, and it’s just a rinse, no water, our scent won’t be washed away. Then you eat something, anything, and we come back here, okay?” Hyunjin gets out of bed.
Seungmin really doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to move from this warm, comfortable bed that’s saturated in their scents. Being closed off in their room makes Seungmin feel safe and leaving it just to go to the bathroom seems like a feat he doesn’t want to endure.
“Seungmin, baby, you want to be good for me, don’t you?” Hyunjin asks, and Seungmin frowns and nods his head. “Okay, then help me help you. Stand for me,” Seungmin huffs as he shuffles to the edge of the bed and gets his feet on the ground. It seems like any exertion that’s not through sex and mating is difficult to accomplish.
He stands, Hyunjin stepping in to help him with his shaking legs. Hyunjin gets an arm around his waist and helps him to the bathroom. His legs tremble from exhaustion. He was needy and inconsolable at one point. Confused with being empty and couldn’t wait for Hyunjin to fuck him, so he took matters into his own hands and got back on top of Hyunjin, determined to ride him to completion, to be knotted and stuffed full.
He isn’t a pro by any means. So, while he did it, fucked himself on Hyunjin’s thick, hard cock, until his knot locked them together. His thighs were letting him know that he should work his way up to that. He won’t listen, not now in heat when he wants and wants and wants and doesn’t care how he gets it.
Hyunjin gets them to the bathroom and into the shower even though Seungmin is clinging like a limpet. He rinses them quickly in hot water, and it feels good until he realizes Hyunjin is rinsing all their come down the drain.
“Look at you, and you think you’re not a proper omega,” Hyunjin says as he finishes rinsing Seungmin’s sweat-slicked hair. “I don’t really know what you mean, but whether you are or not, you don’t let yourself be any type of omega—holding everything back, suppressing everything until you don’t know who you are. You haven’t let yourself be an omega in years, so I think you may need to see how you are when you follow your instincts and what that means. I don’t need you to be a proper, traditional omega, which, again, what does that even mean? Like the ones we watch in movies? I don’t think those exist as much as you think they do. But you are an omega. You’ve been instinctively acting like an omega in heat. You’re such a good and perfect omega how you are. I don’t understand why you don’t see it.”
Seungmin listens to the words, and he doesn’t know where they come from, but he hasn’t been focused or coherent enough to know what's going on. He’s spoken during the night, but he couldn’t tell anyone what he said. Hyunjin has answered, voice a deep rasp that calms Seungmin, but he can’t remember what he said in response.
Maybe he unleashed his deep and dark secrets while his mind was on vacation. It wouldn’t surprise him if he did so when he goes in and out of clarity. Sometimes, he’s been waxing poetic about Hyunjin’s body, and other times, how much he loves him. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility to start saying whatever he is feeling or how he used to feel.
Seungmin isn’t sure he likes how he can’t seem to remember since it feels like cheating since he didn’t have to agonize and stammer his way through his sad, pathetic inferiority complex and imposter syndrome. However, it is nice for Hyunjin to comfort and heal the young boy he once was, seemingly out of nowhere.
Seungmin doesn’t reply in words, but lets Hyunjin dry him off without complaint and bring him to the kitchen. He can’t stand clothes at the moment so Hyunjin doesn’t bother. They’ll only be ripped off soon enough.
Hyunjin grumbles that had he known how close Seungmin’s heat was that he would have properly shopped for him. There’s nothing much in their kitchen that Hyunjin can make quickly that's light and easy to eat but full of nutritional value.
Hyunjin ends up with a plate of fruit, a piece of toast, and a large glass of water in front of him. Hyunjin devours two protein bars in quick succession.
“I need you to be good for a bit longer, okay, sweetheart?” Hyunjin asks, pushing a hand through Seungmin’s hair and making him look up at him. Seungmin nods slowly, eyes closing at the touch. “I’m going to fix up the room a little. I need you to stay here and eat this so you don’t get sick. I will be back fast, okay? But you gotta stay here and eat. Is that okay?”
Seungmin does not like this plan. They’ll only be a few rooms apart, which in their apartment isn’t far at all, but he doesn’t want any distance between them. But Hyunjin is his alpha and wouldn’t lie to him. If Hyunjin says he’ll be back quickly, he will, and Seungmin does need to eat and drink water.
He nods after deliberating for a moment and Hyunjin leaves after kissing the top of his head and ruffling his hair.
Seungmin does not like this, but he bites into a strawberry. It’s tart, sweet, and juicy, but Seungmin would enjoy it more if Hyunjin were beside him.
He finishes half the plate before pushing it away, feeling too full. He does chug down the water. It feels like torture to get it all down, but Seungmin knows he needs to attempt to stay hydrated. It has been drilled into his head from a young age that getting dehydrated during a heat is bad and can be dangerous at times, where an omega may have to be sedated so they can give them an IV of fluids.
Hyunjin comes back, hair in disarray and panting.
“I’m back.” Hyunjin makes sure to touch Seungmin as soon as he gets within reach, and that ignites a fire both blazing in arousal and warm in comfort to have his alpha back in his space. “Oh good, I’m glad you ate that much,” Hyunjin says as he looks at the pushed-away plate. He takes the plate, eats the rest of the fruit and toast quickly, and puts it in the sink. He grabs and fills a cup with water, guzzling it back and drinking a second one, before grabbing Seungmin’s hand and bringing him back to their room.
Seungmin immediately turns his nose up and sends an accusing glare at Hyunjin when he sees the sheets have been changed and a knows a window was opened. Hyunjin barks out a laugh before kissing the look away.
And the flood gates open, and he descends into madness again, wanting to be knotted and to drench the sheets with their scents.
Hyunjin’s knee bounces, nervousness wafting off him as he jitters beside Seungmin.
Seungmin is pretty calm overall, especially given what they may be told today.
They’re waiting for Seungmin’s doctor to explain the effects of his prescription mix-up. Seungmin won’t lie. There was a momentary flare-up of fear at hearing it was medication to increase fertility.
A baby now would definitely put any plans either of them have on hold and possibly stop them altogether. Seungmin doesn’t want to derail his life, but he wouldn’t be upset if he were pregnant. He can’t be upset about creating a life, a child, with his alpha, even if the timing isn’t the best.
Hyunjin is in alpha panic, not knowing whether to drop out of school and get a job to start saving up. Seungmin doesn’t bother to worry until they know for sure.
His heat lasted five days, a day or two longer than the average. If he had been pregnant, the heat would have stopped earlier. That's not to say he couldn’t have gotten knocked up on day four or five, but there’s no reason to change their lives until they’re certain.
Hyunjin was the one who finally listened to the message the pharmacist left. If Seungmin had momentary fear, then Hyunjin had momentary euphoria of an alpha impregnating their omega. The challenges and consequences battering his mind shortly after.
“Listen,” Seungmin had said, “we don’t know. I was planning on making a doctor's appointment anyway, so we will figure this out,” Seungmin says as he dries his hair after his first proper shower in days. “We’re in this together, either way, right hyung?” Seungmin says a little more unsurely than he feels as he hangs his towel around his neck and looks at Hyunjin through dishevelled hair.
Hyunjin rushes over and wraps his arms around Seungmin and holds on tight.
“You’re right. Of course, you’re right; I just want to do right by you,” Hyunjin admits, making Seungmin smile brightly as his heart flutters.
“I don’t think it’s possible for you to do anything else.”
Seungmin’s doctor walks in, giving them both a somewhat distracted smile as he sits down and gets Seungmin’s file is in order.
“Seungmin, I’m glad you’ve finally come to see me. It would have been better if it were sooner, but I see there’s been a bit of confusion,” Dr. Lee says, and Seungmin makes himself smaller while Hyunjin sits up straighter. “Oh, I see how that sounded. But what I meant is that you weren’t supposed to get another refill of suppressants. The pharmacist should have told you that you needed to make an appointment when you got your last refill, not after this time.”
“Okay, that would have been good to know, but can we skip that, and you tell us the implications of me taking the fertility medication?” Seungmin asks point blank since his alpha is about to shake out of his skin.
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about being pregnant,” Dr. Lee says, and Hyunjin breathes in relief and slumps into his chair. “Of course, we will take a blood and urine sample today to make sure, but in my medical opinion, it would be a miracle if you were.
“There are many factors to this, so I could be mistaken, but after being on suppressants for as long as you had, your body was too ready for a heat and skipped some parts. You may not have nested or had that build-up of getting increasingly affectionate and, for lack of a better word, clingy with your alpha and wouldn’t have primed him with your scent so he would be aware that your heat was approaching. Your body needed a heat. That’s why you felt your preheat while only being a few days out of suppressants. So, regardless of the fertility medication, you were going into heat. We should have taken you off your prescription even earlier now that hindsight is twenty-twenty.
“So, although you were in heat and took fertility medication, I don’t think they did much of anything; again, we need to look at blood tests to see if there’s any residual in your system, but considering you only took three doses, you haven’t built it up yet.
“Luckily, that fertility medication is a lower dose and is used for omegas who either have a low sex drive or have had a traumatic experience that has made them essentially stop having heats without medical intervention. It’s a small step to see if there is a need for more intensive and invasive treatment. It doesn’t make one more fertile, per se. Instead, it makes one more able to have a heat and participate, which is the number one way to get pregnant.
“If anything, I think it made you more sensitive to your alpha and more willing to see him,” Dr. Lee nods to Hyunjin, “as your alpha. I gather you have been living together for a while without mating or realizing your compatibility?” Dr. Lee asks, and Seungmin nods his head, feeling ashamed. “I won’t lie. That is both a psychological issue and due to the suppressant. Your unconscious mind took over to ensure you see your compatibility together and that you could match and eventually mate. I’m actually very impressed by the restraint your alpha had in not officially bonding you,” Dr. Lee says with another nod at Hyunjin who blushes at the compliment. “In the weeks leading up to your heat, where you were more jittery and had to expel energy?”
“Now that you mention it I couldn’t seem to sit still at work and kept running errands that I’d normally put off,” Seungmin answers.
“Again, this happens especially with those who don’t know much about medicine and how it reacts and stays in our systems. Omegas try to work and sleep off medication like they do extra weight or alcohol. It doesn’t have a completely insignificant effect but doesn’t do as much as people think. That paired with “forgetting” to take your prescription and the small amount of fertility medication just bumped up the timeline and your willingness and ability to have a heat and to sense and bond with your alpha,” Dr. Lee explains.
“So, both medications didn’t do much, and I was going to go into heat no matter what, and I’m most likely not pregnant since my body isn’t ready to accept that?” Seungmin clarifies.
“In a nutshell, yes.”
“Are there any concerns going forward since he’s abruptly stopped talking suppressants? And when or if he should go on birth control?” Hyunjin asks, back in the game now that he no longer thinks he’s about to be a father at twenty-two years old while still completing his degree.
“Uh, no concerns if Seungmin feels fine currently,” Dr. Lee asks, and Seungmin shrugs.
“I don’t think he’s eating enough for someone who just finished a five-day heat,” Hyunjin says, having that in his back pocket.
“Sometimes appetite is reduced because the body is trying to make sense of the suppressants working their way out of the omega’s system and being confused about going through heat while expecting to go through heat again.”
“What? He’s going to have another one?” Hyunjin asks, back to frantic. The heat had been rough on Hyunjin especially for never having partnered with anyone. Dr. Lee shakes his head,
“Not any time soon, and for the next one, there should be more warning signs, and you’ll be more aware, and so will he. I just mean that the first thing the body wants to do when coming off suppressants is have a heat. Usually, it takes longer for the body to be primed and ready, but the body is confused since Seungmin had his heat while on suppressants. I don’t think he could produce enough lubrication or a high enough temperature to initiate a heat, having just had one. I’d wait a couple of weeks to see if his appetite increases once his body stops thinking it will go into heat, where the appetite is almost completely suppressed. If his temperature rises steadily and stays that way and he continues not eating much, I’d suggest going to a heat centre and having them call me to discuss what to do. But again, I doubt that’ll be necessary, and he needs time to adjust.
I’d recommend no penetrative sex with Seungmin for a month before having him start any birth control. I’d suggest longer, but since you’ve newly matched with one another, I’m hoping for a month. That way, he shouldn’t have any suppressants or a negligible amount in his system, be eating right, and no longer feel the effects of heat or a pseudo heat.”
“We can go for longer without penetrative sex,” Hyunjin offers guilelessly and earnestly, and Seungmin snorts. Hyunjin turns to glare, and Mr. Lee holds in a laugh.
“While that’s very honourable, it’s not just you I’m worried about. Seungmin’s sex drive will increase in increments until he’s at whatever his “normal” is off of suppressants, and being newly matched, the drive to mate and to give in is going to be a hard instinct to ignore. A month is more than reasonable since he must also take them for at least a week before they work.”
After speaking more in-depth on birth control and what Hyunjin and Seungmin should watch out for just in case, Dr. Lee sends Seungmin to get his blood and urine sample and tells him it will be a few days to get the results but no more than a week.
Seungmin and Hyunjin thank him on their way out and start their walk home. Hyunjin holds Seungmin’s hand and makes sure he’s on the inside on the sidewalk—Seungmin blushes and grins.
Hyunjin did this even when they were friends, maybe not the hand holding or how possessive it feels, but the similar in how he made sure to keep Seungmin safe. Seungmin always assumed it was an alpha thing, but hindsight being twenty-twenty, he realizes Hyunjin didn’t do this with Felix. He thinks he’ll find things to embarrass himself for being oblivious for a while to come. It doesn’t make him feel bad; he is loved and cared for and a little stupid, but he’ll get over that.
He’s also not upset at most likely not being pregnant as it gives them time to learn each other without a countdown. Sure, he wouldn’t have minded, and they would have figured it out, but it is better this way.
“It’s cute you thought you’d be able to last longer than a month without being inside me,” Seungmin says, feeling a lick of normal arousal at the words. Hyunjin sends him a serious look that almost has Seungmin backing down.
“I’d do it if it were necessary,” Hyunjin intones solemnly.
Maybe it's residual heat or residual fertility medication, or maybe this is just Seungmin with his senses and feelings no longer dimmed by the pills.
“You’d say no to me, alpha?” Seungmin asks, voice soft and sensual, and Hyunjin sucks in a quick breath. “You’d tell me no when I’d beg for you to fuck me? That doesn’t seem like a nice alpha or hyung,” Seungmin says as he steps in close, letting their bodies press against one another so he can breathe in Hyunjin’s scent, which gets darker and richer with each word.
“Seungmin,” Hyunjin says, frustrated, face a picture of agony. “Don’t do this to me.”
“It’s okay, hyung. There’s other ways to get us off. I’m sure we’ll manage,” Seungmin says. He steps away and pulls Hyunjin along with him.
“I love you,” Hyunjin tells him when he steps beside him again, and Seungmin turns to beam at him. This is Seungmin’s chance when he’s not hopped up on pheromones and hormones to tell Hyunjin how he feels.
“I really love you, too.”
Hyunjin pulls Seungmin in for a kiss right there on the street, blocking people as they pass, and Seungmin doesn’t care. He’s right where he wants to be and couldn’t be happier.