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Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect
A/N - Written for the MEFFW Group on Facebook for our Valentine's Day challenge :) Please enjoy this little bit of Shega fluff! (Art by SajoPhoe)
It wasn't how he'd expected to spend Valentine's Day; sitting alone in the waiting room of the Citadel's Huerta Memorial Hospital waiting for Jane to get out of surgery. He'd intended to cook her dinner, nothing fancy, a Mediterranean gnocchi dish that she'd gushed over a few weeks earlier in a magazine. Then he’d planned a moonlit walk down by the lake and maybe some snuggling by the fire.
It was their first time celebrating the holiday as a couple and he'd wanted to make it special for her. He’d even snuck over to her house earlier in the day to leave her roses and a giant teddy bear, excited to finally have someone to spoil.
"Commander Vega." A doctor took a seat beside him, data pad in hand and a reassuring smile on her face. "Good news, Admiral Shepard is out of surgery and is resting comfortably in recovery. The procedure went well, and while I can't say anything for sure, I think this might be the last time we see her for a while."
Relief flooded through James in a prickling rush and he let out a breath he'd been holding. "Can I see her?"
The doctor nodded. "We'll be moving her to a private room shortly. I'll a send a nurse to get you when she's settled."
She gave his hand a reassuring pat and vanished back behind the white doors of the emergency ward. James watched her go, relieved that Jane had come through the surgery and that this might be the last time she’d go under the knife for some time. He knew how much she hated the procedures that were saving her life; the painful repair of her cybernetics and the replacement of damaged body parts with newly cloned flesh.
His Lola had been on the end of a surgeon's blade far too often since she'd been dragged from the rubble of the Citadel; she'd be relieved that there was an end to it in sight.
I was easy to forget how fragile Jane was. She was so vivacious and full of life that he took for granted how lucky she was to have survived what had happened to her. Yes, there were times when she was almost immobilised with pain, when she lay in bed pale and fraught, trying not to let on how bad it was, but it wasn’t often.
Unless she was hiding the pain from him.
God, was this his fault for not noticing something was wrong earlier?
Had she been suffering silently for days while he was so caught up in Valentine’s Day that he hadn’t noticed? Guilt squirmed in his belly and James shrank in on himself on the chair, trying to remember if she'd been quieter or more withdrawn, racking his memory for any signs he could have missed that this was going to happen.
There had been nothing, he was sure of it.
Hell, he wasn't even sure what had happened to Jane, only it had to do with her Cerberus implants and that something important had shorted out. One moment she’d been chatting to him about her day at work, and the next her eyes had rolled up into her head and she’d fallen to the floor like a puppet whose strings had been cut. James’ stomach rolled at the memory of his fear, of the helplessness and panic, and he swallowed hard.
He'd rushed her to the nearest hospital and had contacted Miranda to let her know what had happened. Everything had happened fast then; Jane been flown to Huerta and been admitted for emergency surgery. And he'd waited. For almost five hours he'd waited out here, locked in his own world and hoping she would be okay.
He couldn't lose her, not after they'd only just found their way back to each other.
"Commander?" An asari nurse was in front of him, and James guessed by her tone that she’d been trying to get his attention for a while. "The Admiral is resting now if you'd like to visit?"
He nodded and followed her to the private rooms. She opened a door and waved him through, smiling gently as she closed it behind him. The room was bathed in sunlight which streamed through a window into a room that felt determinedly cheery. Holographic flowers sat on a bedside table, and a vidscreen quietly murmured a news report.
Jane lay peacefully in the bed, a pressure patch visible up one side of her neck where they'd operated. Her eyes were closed and her chest moved in gentle, even breaths. James watched her for a moment, aching with the pain of seeing her so helpless and small. He wanted to catch her in his arms and protect her from all of this, to help her heal, but he was powerless to fight some things, and the slow decay of her cybernetics was one of them.
All he could do was support her.
Her eyes opened unexpectedly, twin jewels that flashed with sleepy green fire as she caught sight of him.
"Hey," she said softly, her voice little more than a hoarse whisper. "Guess I ruined dinner plans, huh?"
James dragged up a chair and sat down, raising his eyebrows and faking a stern glare. “You ruined more than that, Lola. Do you have any idea how much effort I went through organising a Valentine’s surprise for you?”
“I like keeping you on your toes,” she said with a wink. She smiled and reached for his hand, a shadow passing through her eyes. “You didn’t really organise a surprise for me, did you?”
“I did,” he said matter of factly, squeezing her hand. “Chocolates, flowers, a giant bear – all waiting safely for you to come home.”
Her smile widened. “How giant is the bear?”
“Bigger than you. It was a pain to carry inside your house.”
Jane giggled and then winced as the movement pulled on her wound. She gently touched the pressure bandage, feeling the edges, then made a face and pulled her hand away. A soft sigh slipped from her lips and her face turned serious as she looked at him.
“How bad was it?” she asked, biting her lip as she seemed to sense his tension. “Jimmy?”
James hesitated.
Seeing Jane go down like that had been terrifying, not least because there hadn’t been a damn thing he could do except call an ambulance. And at several points during the day he’d been frightened that he was going to lose her … but he didn’t want to tell her that and scare her.
And he didn’t want to tell her just how bad things had been when he’d gone to the hospital either - how worried Miranda had been or how frantic the doctors were.
“It was bad, wasn’t it?” she guessed.
James sighed and nodded. “It was bad.” He squeezed her hand hard and leaned in close so he could rest his forehead against hers in their own personal gesture of love. “I thought I was going to lose you.”
Jane’s breath hitched and her arms came up around him, holding him to her while he fought back his emotions.
“I’m sorry,” she breathed. “I’m so sorry I scared you.”
He drew back and shook his head. “It’s not that, Lola. It’s that I could have lost you. If I hadn’t been with you when you passed out-“ James broke off and closed his eyes, willing away the image of a life without her in it. “I love you too damn much to lose you.”
Jane reached for him again and he caught her close, leaning low over the bed as he gathered her in his arms. Neither of them said anything for several long minutes, and then she spoke again.
“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but maybe,” she hesitated, her breath soft against his ear. “Well, would you like to move in?”
Move in?
James pulled back, anxiously searching her face. He wanted to be with her as often as he could, and they did spend almost every night together at either his place or hers, but he didn’t want her asking him this out of fear.
“I know this might seem sudden,” she continued. “But I love you. And I like having you in my house and waking up with you beside me. It’s lonely without you.”
His heart melted.
“Of course I’ll move in with you if that’s what you want.” He cupped her face and lowered his lips to hers, kissing her gently. The taste of her lips was sweet, and he forced himself to draw back before other parts of his body got ideas.
Jane let out a nervous laugh and grinned up at him. “Of course it’s what I want! I’ve been thinking it for a while, and we do spend almost all our time together.”
“We do,” he agreed happily, and kissed her again, quickly, sneakily. “I love you, Janey.”
“I love you too.” She sank back onto the hospital pillow with a hundred-watt smile on her face. “I always did, you know.”
James raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Oh really? Keep up that sweet talk and who knows where it will get you.”
“Don’t tempt me, Vega.” Jane’s hand found his and their fingers meshed. “Now, tell me more about this giant teddy bear … .”