Chapter Text
Martin was sitting at a table in the cafeteria after school, working on some homework while he waited for his mom. Engrossed in Fun With Fractions, he startled a little when someone else sat down at the table.
Martin looked up to see he had been joined by Abigail Black, the girl who sat in front of him in homeroom and a couple of other classes.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” Martin said. “Er, did you see the homework for Mr. Monroe yet? It’s kind of-”
“Will you go out with me?” she interrupted.
Martin blinked, taken aback. He had never been asked this before. The other kids at this new school had been talking a lot about crushes and dating, but Martin didn’t really know what that meant when kids were doing it.
He had seen grown-ups doing it on TV and in movies, but it was only for the cool ones. It always ended with kissing, too. Martin hadn’t ever done kissing before, but he didn’t think he wanted to. He definitely didn’t like it when his Aunt Sherry kissed him on the lips at Christmas. It was sticky and it felt weird.
Martin looked at Abigail. She was—pretty, he supposed? That was part of dating, he knew. He hadn’t really thought about her being pretty before, though .
Mostly, Martin felt really embarrassed. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings. “Um, yeah—sure.”
And then, because he felt like he should say something else, he added, “I think you’re really pretty.”
Abigail smiled really, really wide, and then…
…started laughing?
Wait, what?
Martin felt his face heat as he heard more laughter coming from the other side of the room. When he turned to look behind him, a group of what must have been a thousand other girls was standing at the door, watching the whole interaction. Every single one of them was laughing.
Martin felt his stomach drop. Oh. He understood now. He didn’t know a lot about dating or kissing, but he knew about getting made fun of.
“Oh my God, ew!” Abigail squealed, and ran back over to the group.
They all roared with laughter.
“Oh my God, you’re so sexy, I want your vaginaaaa,” one of the other girls mocked in a high, squeaky voice.
Martin felt like he was going to throw up.
“That’s not what I said!” He protested, but the girls were ignoring him. As they walked away, Martin heard Abigail go, “Okay, your turn, now, Maddie. Truth or dare?”
Martin sat there, rooted to the spot. His face felt like it was on fire.
They were laughing because he was gross. It had happened before. And now he was pathetic and stupid and creepy, too, to believe that a girl actually wanted to go out with him.
Martin picked up his bag and ran to the bathroom. He locked himself in a stall. He felt like he couldn’t catch his breath. He couldn’t believe— he didn’t even like Abigail like that, and she had singled him out for some reason.
A few tears escaped. Martin felt deep, burning shame. He had been bullied for being fat before, heard every joke in the book, but— what Abigail had just done had just been so cruel. And for no reason! What was he supposed to have done? He was just sitting there, for Christ’s sake!
Nothing that Martin could have done would have prevented that.
Martin took a deep, shuddering breath, and started to sob in earnest.