Chapter Text
“Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a something that’s meant to come.”
When the light rays began to filter through the curtains, Kara opened her eyes and blinked repeatedly. She stretched under the covers and stayed that way for several minutes, waiting for the nerves to take over her body, but they didn’t. Her classmates had been talking about the graduation since May had begun: what they would wear, what makeup they were going to put on their faces, who would look at them… But above all, how nervous they would be on that big day.
The big day had arrived and Kara didn’t feel nervous at all. She was rather overwhelmed by the fact that her father was going to be there. She felt bad thinking that way because she loved her father but being Captain America’s daughter wasn’t as easy as everyone thought. Kara had been observed throughout her life by the people around her, by the people she didn’t even know, by the press and even by her classmates. Kara had never said anything to her parents because she knew it would create a conflict in her father and she knew that if Steve Rogers hadn’t hung up his shield in all those years was because he loved being Captain America.
When she entered the kitchen, she found her mother sat on the kitchen island, holding a Jane Austen book in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. Anna looked up when she heard footsteps and a tender smiled formed on her lips when she discovered it was her daughter. Kara couldn’t help but smile too. Her mother was a breath of fresh air; she was the only person who put normality in her life. Anna Mitchell was an ordinary woman, who had made Steve Rogers fall in love with her during a mission in which she had been involved by accident.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” she greeted as she put the book on the counter. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes,” she smiled. Kara searched through the cupboards until she found a bag of muffins. She poured some milk into a cup and sat in front of her mother, who was looking at her, with a smile still on her lips. “What’s up?” she asked confused.
“It saddens me that you get older.”
Kara rolled her eyes as she laughed. She calmly ate her breakfast while her mother resumed the reading. After a few minutes in silence, Anna put the book on the counter again and asked her daughter what kind of hairstyle she wanted to wear to the graduation. Kara shrugged and allowed her to pick for her. When she saw the smile and the sparkle of excitement in her mother’s eyes, she smiled. She was like that, she always did everything to please others, even if that meant doing things she didn’t want. That wasn’t the situation though, because she didn’t mind wearing straight hair, curly or upsweep. However, it had happened when she had realized that it was impossible for her father to miss her graduation.
“How could your father not go, Kara?” her mother had asked with a frown.
Kara had failed to answer, because the truth was that there wasn’t a correct answer, so she shook her head and said it had been a misunderstanding. But it wasn’t, because Kara didn’t want her father to go to her graduation.
The reason was simple; her father was always the center of attention, wanted it or not. And if someone approached Kara was to please her father. She knew all the people, at some point in her life, had talked to her was because they wanted something from Captain America, not her. It was for that reason that she didn’t saw her classmates as friends. It was for that reason most of the time she hated the label of Captain America’s daughter.
She had managed to convince Stark, Barton, Wilson and Romanoff not to go to the graduation. They considered her part of the family, so they requested it many times but everytime Kara had told them it would be boring and that there wasn’t a reason for them to be there when the banquet would be held at the Avengers base. It would be also private, although Tony had told Kara that she could bring her friends over. But what friends was going to take there? She didn’t have friends. At least, not there.
The only one who would go to the graduation, besides her father, was Bucky Barnes. The reasons were simple too; there was no way that Bucky could miss an event of that caliber and there was no way that Kara would let Bucky miss something like that.
James Buchanan Barnes was Kara’s godfather. Throughout her life, he had gone from being her godfather and babysitter when Steve and Anna needed him, to her friend. No one could think that a guy around his thirties could be a real friend to a girl of seventeen, but they were really friends. Kara had found in him a confidant, the best of friends, and when she had a problem, she would rather go to him than her own parents. Her parents had finally accepted that Bucky was Kara’s mentor. Not that they had more options, but of all their friends, they thought Bucky was the best choice. He was the only one who knew her as anyone.
Kara stopped moving the spoon that was inside the cup of milk and looked at her mother with eyes wide open as she remembered one thing.
“Mom, dad won’t go the graduation with his official uniform, right?” she asked insecure.
She knew it sounded stupid but she really knew her father. She knew he would be unable to attend to the ceremony with Captain America’s uniform, but the military was something else. Anna laughed, shook her head and promised her there was no reason to worry about. Kara didn’t know how was to suddenly wake up in a completely unknown world and realize that you had lost about seventy years of your life. She imagined it had to be difficult but after eighteen years, Steve Rogers should have been become accustomed. Bucky was different, he was more comfortable on the XXI century and he fit in quite well.
Used to wear pants and blouses, Kara felt strange wrapped in that blue navy dress. With most of her back exposed, the dress clung to her body, except for the skirt, that gave some volume to the dress. Her hair was pulled back in a braided bun. As her mother promised, her father appeared with black jeans and a blue shirt that emphasized the color of his eyes. He kissed her forehead and told her she was beautiful. Kara smiled and thanked him for the compliment. She felt the eyes of her classmates in her, so she excused herself and walked away, telling her parents that she would see them after the graduation.
She couldn’t go far because suddenly someone grabbed her hand and spun her on her heels. In front of her, Bucky Barnes was standing with a big smile, a black shirt and skinny jeans. Kara’s chest swelled, leaving her out of breath for a few seconds. Her eyes were unable to leave his face, which seemed to had been taken from an art exhibition.
“Sergeant,” she finally managed to say. Her mouth had gone dry and her heart was beating at full speed, trying to escape her chest.
“Miss Rogers,” he greeted widening his smile. “You look stunning.” he confessed. “And I’m super proud of you, munchkin.”
Kara’s cheeks blushed slightly as she smiled gently. Behind Bucky’s shoulder, she saw a gorgeous blonde woman talking to her parents. Kara couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Bucky followed the direction of her gaze and laughed loudly when he saw who was she looking. Throughout the years, she got used to see Bucky with different women. They didn’t last more than two days and he didn’t seem to want to change that. For him, love was a silly thing but Kara thought he said that because he didn’t find the right woman. Kara didn’t care too much about that, because every day it passed without the right woman, was a small victory for her.
Kara let go of his hand, catching his attention again. “With your permission Sergeant, they’re waiting for me.”
“Miss,” he said faking a bow. Kara rolled her eyes again as she tried not so smile. She went to where her classmates were, laughing, with the feeling that Bucky’s blue eyes were following her.
The graduation ceremony was a boring act. Kara turned her head once in awhile, watching her parents. Bucky and Steve looked like two kids, hitting each other while her mom tried to stop them. That made Kara smile. But the worst moment came when she was called to pick up the title and they made sure to point out in front of everyone who she was, the daughter of Captain America . Kara forced a smile and greeted those who were present, who were looking anxiously for his father, probably hoping to talk to him after the ceremony.
Kara tried to leave that place in a hurry but her mother tried to convince her to take some pictures with her classmates and she finally accepted because she didn’t want to disappoint her. They all took the opportunity to talk to Steve and Bucky, who proudly accepted all the compliments of the American citizens.
When Kara got to the car, she made an effort to keep the tears inside her eyes. She felt stupid because that wasn’t the attitude of a girl who was supposed to be an adult in a just a few months. But it was the way she felt when she was around her father. She couldn’t be Kara; she was Kara Rogers, Captain America’s daughter, and there was nothing in the world that made her feel smaller and insignificant than that.
And if that wasn’t enough, her parents took the opportunity to talk about colleges on their way to the Avengers base. Kara bit her lower lip and looked through the window, trying to think of something else. She didn’t know if she wanted to continue studying. She wasn’t a bad student; she was quite good. But there was nothing good enough that called her attention and she didn’t want to study some degree just for the fact of having an college title. But that was something her parents didn’t understand. After high school, came college and after college, a job. Kara had been born with an organized life and it seemed she couldn’t change the course without disappointing their parents. And to Kara, disappointing her parents wasn’t in her plans. So she nodded and accepted everything that came to her.
The banquet at the Avengers base was great. Tony and Pepper had hired a caterer with all the things Kara liked and, for the first time since she had woken up, Kara felt really good. The only ones who were missing were Thor, Jane and their twin daughters Eyra and Astrid, who were Kara’s best friends. But she assumed that more important things were happening in Asgard than a simply graduation in Earth. And Bruce was missing too, for the safety of the planet, he was at an unknown location.
After a couple of hours eating and talking, Jarvis, Tony Stark’s information system, indicated Kara that Evan Stark, the eldest and only son of Tony and Pepper, was calling her.
“In the first room, you can talk with Evan there,” Pepper said pointing at the hall.
Kara laughed when she saw Evan’s face appear on the screen. Exactly one year ago, Evan had gone to Europe to study and since then, Kara hadn’t seen him. The relationship she had with him was, if not, curious. Kara knew Evan liked her, but she always ignored it in front of him. Not that she didn’t like Evan, she actually thought he was a very handsome and funny, like his father, but in her heart, that didn’t seem to be enough.
Sat in front of what she supposed it was a computer, Evan was looking at the camera with his blue eyes and an endless smile. His dark, slightly tousled hair, gave him a casual look. He was really gorgeous and it surprised her he didn’t have a girlfriend.
“Congratulations, you survived high school,” he teased, making her laugh. “How are you? I haven’t heard from you in a long time.”
The two of them engaged in a long and pleasant conversation in which they explained the latest adventures they had lived. Evan had many more stories to tell than Kara and she felt a bit jealous of him. Evan was also conditioned by the name he was wearing, but he had managed to get rid of the label of Tony Stark’s son and he had begun to create his own life. He did what he wanted when he wanted and he was happy with his actions. He had gone to Europe to study with the excuse he needed to leave New York, and there he had built a new life. He had proposed to Kara to go with him a thousand times, but her answer was always the same: “There are many things that tie me here.”
Kara told him everything that happened at the graduation, how she felt when her parents had insisted with the whole college thing. Evan encouraged her to choose her own way, to do what she believed it was right.
“I can’t do it,” she admitted.
“Yes you can. Do whatever you have to do, Kara. You can’t please everyone, it’s impossible.” he finally said before ending the call.
She thought about what Evan had told her while she returned to the room where everyone was, wondering if she could really do what she wanted without thinking about other’s feelings.
Before crossing the doors that led to the main hall, Kara saw Bucky hugging his one-night stand, kissing her with longing. They laughed between each kiss, like two teenagers in love. Her feet stopped instantly and a knot formed in her throat. It wasn’t the first time she saw Bucky in the arms of a woman, nor it was the first time she saw him kissing someone. But that was the straw that broke the camel. It was what broke her down.
Kara turned around, took the elevator and went to the terrace as tears of sadness, anger, worry and exhaustion fell down her cheeks. There was no point in lying or denying the obvious, Kara was in love with Bucky Barnes, his father’s best friend. As much as she tried to fight against her feelings, James Buchanan Barnes was her everything.
She had always kept a lid on her feelings, because she perfectly knew what she felt was wrong in every single way. But every time it was harder to behave as a sensible and mature girl in front of him; every time it was harder to hide what she felt. As she grew older, her need for him grew too. Kara needed Bucky as something else and she knew that was impossible. Maybe Kara didn’t carry the label of Captain America’s daughter for Bucky, but she carried the label daughter of his best friend , and if she couldn’t do anything to get rid of the first label, she would carry the second with her to the grave.
“It’s cold up here,” a voice behind her said. Kara didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.
“I’m fine,” she said wiping the tears with her hands.
“I understand you trying to lie to others but me, Kara? Come on, I’m an expert in speech patterns and body language.” Natasha said.
Kara sighed loudly as she turned around and faced her. “What do you want, Natasha?”
Kara and Natasha get along well. In fact, they get along really well. But sometimes, she made Kara really nervous because it was impossible to hide anything from her. Natasha knew she was in love with Bucky, she had discovered before Kara had accepted her feelings. She didn’t gave her a lecture or told her to forget him as Kara thought she would do. She just told her to be careful.
“I’m the last person who wants to tell you what to do, Kara” she confessed. “But I’ve been watching you for a while now and I think you need someone to remove the blindfold from your eyes," she stopped talking for a few seconds before continuing. “You’re a pretty, smart and wonderful girl, but you’re more concerned to not disappoint others than live your life. I know it may seem hard, and seeing others suffer for you… It’s complicated. I know, believe me. But Kara, you can’t pretend to be someone you’re not your whole life. Because it’s really tiring. Live your life and stop pleasing others,” she pointed out. “Don’t forget your life deserves a happy ending too.”
Natasha stared at Kara for a few seconds, waiting for her to say something but when Kara lowered her head and fixed her eyes to the floor, she turned around and left. Her work was done. What Kara did with what she told her was it was up to her.
Kara pondered on Natasha’s words and she understood that she was right. She was living a life that wasn’t hers. But she remained unable to disappoint everyone in order to get what she wanted. And she didn’t exactly knew what it was.
“It’s okay not to know what to do, Kara. There are a lot of people who need some time to figure out what is their true purpose on life,” Evan had told her once.
Maybe Evan was right and she needed some time to figure out what she wanted to do with her life.
When she felt a bit more peaceful, Kara went inside the building. As she went down with the elevator, she promised herself to talk to Natasha and clarify what had happened. She would say she was fine, that she was happy with what she had. Although it wasn’t true, she needed Natasha to believe it. She knew that woman really well and she was really impulsive, she couldn’t let her tell her parents how miserable she really was. She may not believe her, but she had to try it.
On the way to the main hall, Kara heard strange noises. She glanced at each side of the corridor, trying to find out the source. The noises increased; metallic sounds, like chains banging against another metal. She concentrated and discovered that it was coming from the last room, opposite direction where she was standing.
She knew she could ignore it and go find her father, who was more prepared than her to do those kind of things. But curiosity won the battle. As she approached the room, she heard a woman's saying: “If you weren’t so concerned to get into anyone’s pants, you would have realized what I really wanted.”
“Forgive me, but I’ve dated girls with really strange kinks”.
Kara recognized the voice instantly. It was Bucky. She quickened her step until she heard a thud, like something hitting something solid.
“Bitch”, he muttered. “Who the fuck are you? What do you want?”, he half-yelled.
“I want to make an statement”.
Kara heard the sound that made a gun when you removed the safety. She had heard it so many times. She had been in the same room as Bucky when he cleaned his guns. Whoever that was in that room with him, was going to kill him. Kara had to stop wasting time and help Bucky right away.
She didn’t think about the consequences, what would happen if her parents found out what she was going to do. She just did it. She opened the door with force, getting Bucky to turn his head and look at her with terror in his eyes. The woman standing in front of him was his date and she was holding a gun that was larger than her own hands.
She turned the barrel, pointing at Kara and she shot without hesitation. Kara felt a strong chest oppression while a heartbreaking scream left Bucky’s throat. Her body collapsed into the ground, hitting her head on the way down. She tried to keep her eyes open but her eyelids were fighting harder than ever to close.
Finally, she let them win and closed her eyes feeling an infinite peace running over her body.