Chapter Text
Tommy Innit
883 Mnt. Dr. Apt. 302
L'Manburg, MC.
Technoblade Minecraft
201 Mellohi Rd.
Empire, MC.
Technoblade,
I tried texting and calling and emailing you but you never answered, so I’ve reverted to the good old handwritten letters. Appreciate my efforts big man I’m so poggers that I go to all these lengths to keep contact with you.
I’ve gotten to the city! Big ol’ L’manburg. It’s great here so far. I have an apartment even though the person who was renting it to me- his name is Sam- looked at me suspiciously when I told him I’m eighteen. That was rude because I so look like I’m eighteen and old and mature because I’m a big and pog and amazing man and he had no right to judge me. I’m unjudgeable actually. It’s illegal to judge me. Someone should turn him into the police.
I know Phil said it was a bad idea, but I started on patrol last night. It was so much fun actually. There’s this hero named Hax who has all sorts of crazy tech that I was fighting and I managed to knock him out and steal some of it, but I left it somewhere else in case he has tracking stuff on it. He seems like the kinda guy to put tracking stuff on his tech.
There was also this hero named Watcher who can fly and he has these glowing purple eyes all around him so it was harder to get away from him because apparently he can see super far (hence the name Watcher I guess) but I still managed. I’m just the coolest newest villain in L’manburg and no one will ever defeat me because I’m that cool.
The trip here was pretty long but it was interesting. I got to take a boat for the first time, so that was cool. I absolutely didn’t get sick at all because I’m too cool to do that and if I did get sick then I would never throw up or anything because the Great Tommy Innit doesn’t get seasick. Trust me.
I also took a train and we passed a whole ton of stuff. There were a bunch of cow farms which was cool. All the cows were named Henry because I named them all Henry. We passed some horses that reminded me of Carl. Give him a carrot for me. I know I’ve only been gone for a couple of weeks, but I’m sure he misses me so much already. I’m totally his favorite. Even though I’m all the way in L’manburg.
Tell the old man I’m okay. I’m not writing him any letters because he told me I shouldn’t come out here. I’m totally fine on my own. No one even cares that I’m sixteen. Probably because of the paperwork that says I’m eighteen BUT STILL no one would care even if I am sixteen. I’m sure there’s so many teenagers who live on their own in this city. It’s so huge.
Seriously though. It’ll take like thirty minutes to cross the whole city on train. It’s HUGE. So much bigger than the Empire. This one should be the one called an empire, really. There’s so much stuff here. I already got lost like nine times and I’ve only been here a few days.
If you want to send a letter back to me, you can just use the return address on this. You don’t have to though because I’m a cool and poggers man who can take care of himself. I’m just writing this to you so you don’t worry about me because I know you and Phil would but I’m completely great.
I’ve got a neighbor named Ranboo. It’s such a weird name, right? I was making fun of him but he didn’t seem to like that for some reason. Weird. He lives with his friend named Tubbo, which is also such a strange name. Does everyone in this city have weird names? You’d fit rtigh in here, Techno. You should come visit me. See the apartment set up I’ve got going on. It’s really cool and poggers, trust me. It’s kinda like at home but there’s no fireplace and all the furniture is different and also still in boxes so it’s not really like home I guess. It’s close enough though.
One thing about this city is that it’s really hot. I haven’t needed to wear my jacket at all the entire time here. It’s cold even in the summer at Empire, so it’s weird to be somewhere so warm. Maybe I’ll go shopping tomorrow for short sleeves and shorts and stuff. I’m planning on being here for a while so it’ll be worth it I think.
I’m also trying to decide if I should look into getting a job or not. I could just pay my way with Phil’s loans and being a villain, but it’d be kinda sus if I didn’t have some form of normal income I think. Maybe I’ll get an easy part time job in like… retail or something. That’s easy, right?
That probably won’t pay for a whole ton but I can pretend it does and just steal the rest of my money. I already robbed a jewelry place last night. I haven’t pawned it off yet because I don’t want it being traced back to me, obviously, but I’ve got that all in my back pocket for whenever I need it.
It’s really loud out here. Like, louder than school on the last day and the festival combined. There’s always cars going by and people yelling and shouting and even up in my apartment I can hear them. It’s going to take some getting used to I think, but I will adapt and overcome because I’m just flexible like that.
Being a villain is really poggers and awesome by the way, I can see why you and Phil used to do it. I don’t see why you stopped though. This city is so cool and amazing why would you and Phil move away before I could see it? I don’t even remember like any of it it’s so cool and you suck why would you guys want to keep this place from me?
I feel like I deserve some kind of explanation now that I’m actually out here. It’s not at all what I thought it would be like from Phil’s stories. I don’t get it.
Write me back soon, tell the animals I miss them,
Your poggest little brother, Tommy
Tommy folded up the letter, shoving it into one of the envelopes he’d bought at the store earlier. He was going to have to get stamps at some point. Until then, he set the letter next to the door. He hadn’t been lying about not setting up any furniture yet. He had been writing the letter on the ground.
Furniture was for losers, Tommy decided. He grabbed a blue jacket, heading out of his apartment. He had been expecting the building to be a little rundown, but it was actually pretty nice. He could easily afford it with the amount of money Phil was sending each week, but Tommy didn’t want to rely on his dad’s money forever. He was too poggers to not make his own way in the world.
He made his way to the stairs that led to the roof. They were one of the reasons Tommy had picked this apartment building.
Because he’d been very strategic about choosing his apartment. It wasn’t random and it wasn’t just the first place that didn’t immediately throw him out. Not at all.
Cold air whipped at Tommy’s face as he stepped outside. He shivered a little, but the wind died down after a moment.
Tommy walked over to the edge, looking at the city stretching before him. His apartment building wasn’t in the middle of the city, but it was pretty close.
Every building was illuminated. There were billboards too far away for Tommy to make out. People and cars were the size of bugs far, far below him. It looked just like a movie scene, honestly.
He looked up. He could pick out the moon and a couple of stars, but the sky was strangely dark.
Light pollution, Tommy remembered. You couldn’t see the stars as well in the city as in the country.
“Hey, get away from the edge!” a voice yelled from behind Tommy. He glanced back, raising his eyebrows. Hax stood a couple of buildings away and was heading towards Tommy.
Tommy wasn’t wearing any of his villain gear. To the hero, he should look just like a civilian.
“What, you think I’m going to fall?” Tommy asked, turning around. He took a step back, towards the ledge, just to freak the hero out. Hax shot something from his hand. A thin wire wrapped around Tommy’s wrist, yanking him away from the edge.
“Oi!” Tommy shouted, trying to yank off the wire, but it was tight around his skin. It wasn’t cutting him, but it wasn’t comfortable.
“You can’t play around like that,” Hax said, stopping next to Tommy. Cool wind whipped around them both.
“I wasn’t playing around,” Tommy snapped. “I was just looking at the city. Let me go.”
“It’s my job to protect people,” Hax said, tapping on the device in his hand. The wire retracted. Tommy rubbed his wrist.
“That didn’t seem very protective to me,” Tommy said.
“You could’ve fallen,” Hax said.
“You heroes run around the rooftops every night and you never fall,” Tommy said.
“We have technology and powers,” Hax said. “Even then, it’s not guaranteed that we don’t fall. We’re just careful.”
“Who said I don’t have powers?” Tommy asked. Wind blew his hair back, which he quickly flattened back into place. He wouldn’t look vaguely concerning if his hair was crazy.
“Just be careful,” Hax said. “Civilians shouldn’t be out at night anyways. There’s a lot of villains around.”
“What are you, my dad?” Tommy asked. “I don’t have a curfew. I’ll go wherever I want, whenever I want.”
“You don’t have to be rude,” Hax said, crossing his arms. “Heroes work hard to keep you safe.”
“Uh huh,” Tommy said sarcastically. “Sure.”
“What do you mean sure?” Hax asked indignantly. “We risk our lives every night to fight villains to keep you safe.”
“You tell yourself that,” Tommy said, walking back towards the door. It was getting too cold to stay out, and he didn’t want to keep talking to the hero.
“I’m not telling myself that, it’s just the truth!” Hax called after him. Tommy ignored him, shutting the door.
He had barely been in the city for a couple of days and he was already fed up with the hero complexes the heroes had. Tommy didn’t need protection. He didn’t ask for their help. They weren’t somehow better than him, just because they decided to fight villains.
Tommy’s neighbor, Ranboo, was standing in the hallway when Tommy walked downstairs. Tommy figured it’d be too awkward to walk past him without saying anything.
“Hey,” Tommy said.
“Hi,” Ranboo said. “You alright?”
“‘Course,” Tommy said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Ranboo shrugged. “Just checking. Are you home alone tonight?”
Tommy blinked. “My guy. Do you know how suspicious that sounds?”
Ranboo flushed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean- I just want my neighbors to be safe, you know, and I figured you’re probably new to the city or new to being on your own-”
“Did you just assume my age?” Tommy asked, crossing his arms.
“No! No, I didn’t mean-” Ranboo rushed, looking more flustered. “Well, you do look kind of young, but that’s not a bad thing, I was just saying-”
“Chill out, dude,” Tommy said, laughing. “I’m fine on my own. I know how to protect myself. I grew up out in the country and my dad was always worried that I’d get caught out late at night by something.”
“Protecting yourself in the country isn’t the same as a city,” Ranboo said. “There’s villains who have powers and criminals who are desperate and-”
“I think I’ll get along just fine,” Tommy interrupted. “Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.”
“If you say so,” Ranboo said. “If you ever need anything, you can come to Tubbo or I. We know what it’s like to have to take care of yourself.”
“Thanks,” Tommy said, surprised to find that he did half mean it. It was thoughtful of Ranboo to say something, even though Tommy didn’t need it. There was no way for Ranboo to know how much he didn’t need it.
“Have a good night, then,” Ranboo said.
“Will do, boo boy,” Tommy said, jokingly saluting at him as he stepped past. He pushed open his apartment door that he hadn’t bothered to lock and shut it behind him.
He looked around the apartment, at the unpacked suitcases and unbuilt boxes of furniture.
Tommy ended up falling asleep on his mattress on the floor again.