Chapter Text
“Just—” Kaiser tries, to be his usual flashy self, but his fabulous smile is tight and too obviously ingenuine. He can’t help but hiss out when the doctor across from, a trained fucking professional, ohh’s and ahh’s instead of just telling Kaiser what he’d come here for. “—Spit it out.”
But the doctor doesn’t, he glances at the results again, charts and lines and numbers and abbreviations Kaiser didn’t understand. The doctor’s expression becomes more strained. Kaiser should be a flashy, fabulous celebrity self, but in this room that just seems to get smaller and smaller, Kaiser’s shitty self bleeds through, stains his attempt at an easy-going laugh, “What is it? Am I fucking dying?”
There’s nothing after that. The words hang thick in the air for a moment and fade away and there’s nothing. Kaiser had already died at six years old, so after twenty or so years, the thought of death is nothing at all but maybe just familiar. He exhales slowly and gets ready to leave the room when the doctor interrupts.
“No,” The doctor gestures for Kaiser to sit down. And it surprises him, that the rotting thing he dared call a heart jumps with that fucking wretched feeling of hope, the doctor sighs once and then just says finally, “Your body isn’t dying, it’s transforming.”
.
It’s nobodies’ fault but his own. This morning, he’d stared at his naked self in the mirror, he was a different person to different people but when he was alone, before he puts on his red-eyeliner and his mothers smile, before he’s all that he’s just this. Kaiser stares at what was the lucky thing about him, the only thing worth a damn thing, and he says this is me, the way he always did, except it’s obviously not the same anymore.
“It’s me,” He tries again, it comes out in a shaky voice that couldn’t be his own. He’d noticed the weight loss before anything. Jeans that used to be tight around his quads had suddenly become easy to slip on, Kaiser pinches his thighs now, even though nothing in his diet had changed, even though his training regime was the same, and then it had been that, Kaiser looks at between his legs, he’d thought maybe he was going insane when he realized that he was fucking smaller than he'd remembered. So, it should’ve been the weight loss, or the fatigue and dizziness, the way the scents of his team had begun overwhelming him, or the weird tingles he’d feel down his arms when his teammates got too close and suddenly all he could think about is their hard breaths against him, but it was the fact that his dick was definitely shrinking that had gotten him to go to the doctors and find out what the fuck was wrong with him.
Kaiser had thought foolishly, death was the worst fate of all, going back to zero, back to nothingness, the doctor had said, you’re not dying, Kaiser had been hopeful and relieved until, you’re transforming, and suddenly the only good thing about Kaiser, the strong, built body of an athlete in its prime, the body of an alpha that wouldn’t easily submit or be overpowered, was being taken away from him. It’s not anybody’s fault but his own. Kaiser says it out loud, “this is me, it’s still fucking me, please—” he’s not angry at God or the universe who had always done everything it could to reject his existence, and he’s not angry at the father who had first shown him his body was never his own, he’s not angry at the alphas who he’d gotten onto his knees for, the ones who no doubt had caused this, the Bastard Munchen sponsors who’d pried open his jaw with their fingers and had given him the option even though there was no way Kaiser could say no.
It's strange, but Kaiser’s not angry at himself either, even though his hand finds its way around his already bruised throat and clench hard, maybe that means acceptance. Everytime he thinks it can’t get worse, Kaiser laughs, dark and choked, wiping at the blood on his lips, it’s really amazing, Kaiser taunts the world around him, how much you fucking want me gone.
.
Kaiser had died the night he stopped fighting back against his father. His father had sat atop him, you’re really just like her, he’d used Kaiser’s blood to line his eyes in red, you’re a whore just like her, and a battered Kaiser had realized, there was no fight in his fingers left, his tiny heart had stopped beating wildly, had stopped trying to save itself, his eyes weren’t desperate and dilated anymore, his father had wanted to kill him and his body had given up, he’d loosened his grip on his dad’s thick arms and let all the stars in his eyes pour silently down his cheeks.
Kaiser hears the doctor say, you’re not dying, well of course not. That would be too easy. The doctor says, you’re transforming, and of course he is. Okay. It’s okay.
Kaiser rests his body against the locker. Despite the loss in weight over these past few weeks, he feels heavier than ever. The room around him shrinks and tightens around him. He closes his eyes and tries to focus only on his breaths, on his still beating heart, of the coolness of the metal locker against his cheek, but the sounds of his rowdy teammates don’t disappear into white noise, instead it’s blaring right into his ears and drilling down into his skull, he hears everything, all of it, he feels their loud laughter and teasing on his skin, the familiar scent of sweat is thick and sour and clogs his throat so he can barely breathe. Kaiser pants as quietly as he can except they’re all around him, they’re inside him, they’re fucking inside him, his fingers dig into his chest, it’s really—
“Kaiser?”
There’s a hand on his shoulder. As if everything else has finally disappeard, as if just now realizing Kaiser isn’t trapped under the weight of the world, Kaiser’s eyes snap open in surprise when the relief he’d been praying for is suddenly given to him, as if no one else exists, just his dead self, and Isagi Yoichi.
“What’s going on with you?” Kaiser holds his breath and then gives in, an alpha Kaiser might’ve withheld, but he wasn’t that anymore, a small desperate inhale of Isagi’s scent, fresh, like grass, like renewal, like the morning after it’s rained, nothing like the rest of their teammates and nothing like Kaiser’s overly sweet scent, Kaiser really tries not to be obvious as he breathes in as much of Isagi as he can. It takes him a few moments to return back to a normal self. “Don’t you dare pretend everything is fine. You know, I noticed that you were slower, that you’ve gotten thinner. Also, your makeup doesn’t cover as much as you think it does. And—”
Kaiser turns to face him, it cuts off Isagi’s rant for a moment as he takes in Kaiser’s current pathetic state. His expression tightens. Kaiser’s alpha self might’ve put on a smile, might’ve tried to lie even though Isagi never believed any of that anyway, but Kaiser had only had just enough energy to pull through training today, he’s too tired to deal with this, with a fucking concerned Isagi.
“Then those photos of you at the hospital went viral—"
“What’s this?” Kaiser isn’t pretending when he laughs, mean and surprised. Isagi looks unamused, “Yoichi, are you worried about me?”
He means to embarrass Isagi, but Isagi just blinks and as truthfully and steadfast as ever, “Yeah, I am. No one else is.”
Not true, Kaiser wants to say, Ray Dark would be disappointed if his investment fails, but his voice dies in his throat the longer he looks at Isagi. Truthful, steadfast, genuine, he can stand in front of Kaiser like this because he’s never been scared, there’s a flicker of repulsion that’s existed ever since Kaiser first saw Isagi, it burns at the tips of his fingers, Kaiser can’t hide it, he digs his nails into his skin so he doesn’t rip out Isagi’s eyes. Isagi must be satisfied, to see the familiar hate in Kaiser’s eyes, because he smirks up at Kaiser.
“Don’t worry, Yoichi,” Kaiser can’t grin back, he can only stare at Isagi, with all the hate and anger Kaiser had been repressing ever since the world reminded him how much it wanted him dead, it reanimates his corpse, makes him burn and his skin blush with life, a bead of sweat rolls down the side of his face, how many nights had Kaiser been brought to the edge of his life? Try harder, he wants to say, there’s someone I’ve got to kill before you can take me. “I refuse to die before you.”
Someone, who he needs to see in despair. Someone else in this world who needs to know fear, who needs to know death without death, who needs to die but wake up the next day anyway, Kaiser refuses to let this world destroy him before Isagi Yoichi is destroyed.
Isagi stares at Kaiser for a lot longer and, “Good, I’ll hold you to that.”
.
Kaiser brings an unlit cigarette to his lips, tastes faintly the tobacco, he exhales only winter air over the city below him and stares longingly and wistfully at all the little people under him, small and alive and unaware, as if the wind is his ally, it pushes his hair back beautifully over his bare shoulders, Kaiser huddles closer to himself for some warmth even though he’s not cold at all. He inhales on the cigarette again, his body untenses. He closes his eyes gently, his long lashes flutter, and raises his face to the moon and stars, his lips part, seductively, like the heroine of a classic film.
It’s possible that Kaiser didn’t need to do the things he did. His agreement with Ray Dark was firstly, his soccer, and then there had been the ominous, and make sure you’re entertaining.
It’s the first time he’s ever been perfect, it’s really lucky that Ray Dark meets Kaiser, talented Kaiser, beautiful and alone, the son of a whore, and dead enough that he can be whatever he was needed to be without being blinded by ideas of pride and of love and all those things Kaiser used to want until he realized that there was no way. He’s been dead for twenty fucking years, so there’s no way.
Kaiser is a fraud and he’s not real anymore. Ray had told him to put on a show, and Kaiser thinks, it must be like this. He entertains, the sponsors when they place their hands on his thighs, brush his hair behind his shoulder and press their lips against his tattoo, and he puts on a show for them, sort-of willingly but not really, he knows he can’t say no when they ask. Puts on a show like his mother, he’s watched her movies and he’s learnt, the way to seduce an alpha, the red eyeliner, showing off just enough skin to tempt but not seem like a slut, how to draw attention to his neck and his mouth, how to touch, needy and knowing and secretive, and how to close his eyes and make it look like he wants it and how to shudder and moan breathily to make it seem like he feels it too, Kaiser is a million different people like his mother and he stands in front of the mirror every day and says this is me except he doesn’t have any fucking idea what he means.
And then the moment is over. Kaiser tosses the cigarette over the balcony and drags himself back inside. Maybe he doesn’t need to know what he is because he knows what he’s not. He’s not a smoker, he’s never smoked in his life, and he didn’t like beer and whiskey and he doesn’t like sex because it’s never real. His mother plays the part of a lover and then goes back home to her family and it’s never real. Kaiser wasn’t her son, isn’t human and isn’t alive and isn’t an alpha anymore.
Kaiser’s body isn’t cold though, not deathly pale but flushed a deep red, Kaiser doesn’t really want things as much anymore because all the things he wanted are out of reach, but he grabs his phone. He’s accepted it, the moment he walked out of the doctor’s office, he’s strangely skipped all the stages of grief and it’s all his own fault and this is how it is, he’s in heat.
“Kaiser?”
Kaiser’s surprised that Isagi picks up when he calls, he’s surprised that Isagi has his number saved, Kaiser stares at his contact for Isagi, there’s a picture from their last day in Blue Lock, a sleeping Isagi with a drawn moustache and Kaiser’s signature in permanent marker on his cheek, the childish little clown emoji he’s put next to Isagi’s name, it was so immature and it still amused Kaiser, he almost smiles but there’s a sharp pain in his abdomen that has him panting and curling over into himself. He hears Isagi call his name again, but Kaiser stays silent until the pain eventually fades away.
“Kaiser! Are you okay? Kaiser? Don’t call me just to fucking die.” Isagi’s words become coherent again, Kaiser laughs weaky. He’s a different person to different people, but to Isagi?
“I’m using my last breath to talk to you, be more grateful.”
“Yeah thanks,” Isagi exhales, relieved to hear a whole sentence from Kaiser, “Well what is it?”
“I just wanted to say that I hate you,”
Isagi scoffs.
“And I’ll wait for you in hell, and—”
Kaiser’s never spent his rut with anyone. Even when his body trembles and aches with need, Kaiser’s always been able to control himself enough to rely only on himself in those times. For all these years, but an omega Kaiser considers the thought of spending his heat alone, and it paralyses him with a type of fear and misery he’s never felt before.
“Can I please come see you?”
.
Sex is nothing special to Kaiser, but he enjoys the rush of power he gets when he corrupts the people that were disgusting enough to be attracted to a dead body like him. When he drags people into the filth that he is. It is a sick degenerate of a person who would want to fuck a corpse.
Kaiser makes his way to Isagi’s building wearing something soft and baggy and nothing glamourous. He didn’t even know he still had outfits like this, but had miraculously pulled one from some corner of his large walk-in wardrobe because the thought of wearing jeans when his body was aching and heavy and burning at the edge of his heat sounded like hell. He does what he can not to draw attention to himself, hiding his hair and face under the hoodie, wearing a mask that makes it impossible to breathe, but he still feels people watching him as he walks, like some fucking meal. Of course, he’s an omega about to be in heat, alone and unmarked, the world isn't only unfair to him, Kaiser’s jaw clenches tight and ignores it all.
If it’s Isagi, who has no respect for Kaiser, then he won’t care to see Kaiser in this state. If it’s Isagi who knows Kaiser is a piece of shit, there’s no point in dressing up and pretending he was something else. Whatever Kaiser is, underneath the makeup and the designer clothes, it’s only Isagi who knows.
Kaiser makes his way into lobby of Isagi’s building. It’s midnight, so there’s barely anyone around as he rings Isagi on the intercom. Kaiser tries not to be annoyed that Isagi didn’t come meet him personally. He drags his body across the lobby but when there’s another sharp pain in his chest and then he can’t feel his legs, Kaiser lets himself collapse, ripping off the mask, panting and almost in tears, onto one of the lobby’s couches. He’s so close, Kaiser glances at the elevator before squeezing his eyes shut and telling his body to hurry up and get over this new wave of pain. Kaiser wills himself better, but it takes so long. With no one around, he lets himself be pathetic, cheeks wet, lips trembling, the scent of distressed omega fills up the empty lobby. It’s that again, the world wraps itself tight around him, constricts and crashes down over his shoulders. Kaiser’s about to pass out when he hears someone.
“Yoichi?” Kaiser tries weakly, he opens his eyes, inhaling deeply, wanting to take in Isagi’s fresh, grassy scent, wants it to lift the weight off his body, but instead—
“Are you alright?”
Kaiser’s breaking body becomes rigid, he wipes away at the tears and really, with strength he didn’t know he had, he gets off the couch and stares down at the alpha across from him. She smiles at Kaiser but there’s nothing soft or kind about it. And her scent, Kaiser chokes at the spicy cinnamon, he pinches his nose. Kaiser tries to take a step back, but he stumbles, and she ends up reaching to help stabilize him.
“Don’t!” Kaiser growls out, his eyes flash dangerously. She puts her hands up to showing she’s not touching him. She’s confused as she clearly takes in the scent of an omega in heat, but she feels also, the instinctive wariness alphas had towards each other. She seems to understand after a moment and then she’s smiling again.
“I was only going to offer to help.” She tells him. Kaiser oscillates between wanting to collapse into this alpha’s arms and wanting to rip out her throat for looking at him like that, he stares unblinkingly, saliva pools in his mouth, all sharp teeth and black eyes, he doesn’t know which one it is. He wanted Isagi, but, would it really be so bad?
“Fuck you.” He tries to snap but it comes out breathy. Whiny. Kaiser clamps a hand over his mouth and she was already smiling but now it’s different, now Kaiser can feel it burn into his skin, she’s amused, happy, Kaiser wants to, do something, maybe, her scent suddenly washes over him and it’s not disgusting, it relaxes Kaiser, lulls him into subservience, dammit, he stumbles. She reaches towards him again.
There’s an arm around his waist. Kaiser gasps inaudibly when he’s pulled against someone else’s body. Kaiser blinks a few times and then shrinks, collapses into Isagi’s arms, presses his face into the soft wool of Isagi’s jumper. He pants, breathing in Isagi’s scent to save him from this alpha and from the rest of the world, he closes his burning eyes tightly, but a few traitor tears bleed into Isagi’s jumper anyway. This isn’t the same Isagi from all those years ago, this Isagi holds Kaiser up with one arm and places the other arm between Kaiser and the alpha, maybe it’s supposed to be protective, but it’s so possessive and hot that an omega Kaiser feels his heart burst in his chest, there’s a surge of feelings, safe, safe and warm, alpha… God, he's such an omega already? That an alpha’s display of strength has him weak like this?
“Sorry about my friend,” Isagi smiles politely, he tucks Kaiser closer to his heart.
The two alpha’s stare at each other for a long time. Isagi’s smile is light and he’s respectful, typical, you fucking liar, it pisses Kaiser off because the air around the three of them is thick with tension and the promise of violence but Isagi’s still smiling all polite, you dirty fucking liar, Yoichi!
"You shouldn’t let your omega out when he’s like this.” She replies curtly, Kaiser wants to fucking scream but he can’t do a thing other than let Isagi deal with this for him. Dammit, fucking, pathetic, useless, fucking useless, Kaiser’s too exhausted to respond, he can barely string words together for an intelligible thought, and Isagi doesn’t say anything as he lets her walk off.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Isagi asks Kaiser afterwards when they’re in the elevator. Without the other alpha, without Kaiser’s body being weak to the alpha’s presences, Kaiser’s able to peel himself off Isagi and hang onto the rail of the elevator as it goes up to the highest floor. Kaiser continues to glare. Isagi gives a short laugh and turns away, “You wanted me to fight her for your honour or something? Get fucking real.”
“An alpha’s pride—” Kaiser hisses.
“You’re not mine and,” Isagi peers over at the blushing and burning Kaiser, weaker than Isagi’s ever seen him, Isagi breathes in Kaiser’s scent, it’s roses and sugar, the way it had always been, but it’s sweeter now, somehow, and it makes Isagi’s blood thrum with electricity and need, he looks away, “Well, I don’t even know where to start.”
.
From the beginning. Kaiser’s mother is a whore who slept her way to fame and Kaiser’s father is a piece of shit that could even fuck a corpse. He died at six years old but he still moves. Kaiser puts on a show because he can’t be thrown back into hell. Kaiser’s body has never belonged to him, but he was an alpha and that meant he was still worth something and now he’s an omega who needs the only person he hates, to help him, to save him. Kaiser hates Isagi. Kaiser’s always hated Isagi. Isagi hates Kaiser too. Maybe the only person Isagi really hates is Kaiser. But he helps Kaiser to a couch. Isagi respects Kaiser’s soccer and that’s it. Isagi is the type of alpha that can hate someone and still bring them a bottle of chilled water he’s already opened.
Kaiser smacks the bottle of water from Isagi’s hands.
“Can’t you just be normal?” Isagi’s expression darkens, angry but not surprised. Kaiser watches the water spill from the bottle, suddenly he regrets it when he realizes just how thirsty he is. But, Kaiser looks away and laughs. Kaiser’s always hated Isagi, he glares up at him again, Isagi glares back finally. Isagi Yoichi is a fucking fraud. But if it’s Kaiser?
“I didn’t come here for your politeness.” Kaiser spits out the word.
“Why did you come here, Kaiser?”
Kaiser opens his mouth to answer even though they both knew why, but there’s another wave of pain and Kaiser gets crushed underneath it, curling over, panting, he closes his eyes and again begs his body to pleasepleaseplease just stop. Isagi calls out Kaiser’s name. Kaiser was here, because he didn’t need an obedient dog to give him whatever he wanted, he was here because Isagi Yoichi is the only one he hates, the only one that scares him and has him remember that he is alive, that he can hurt, the only one who can make Kaiser feel like he could really die, Isagi is the only one left in the world who might really kill Kaiser, he doesn’t need obedience right now, he needs to be hunted and devoured.
He rips the hoodie off him so that he’s half naked. He glances through tears up to where Isagi was standing across from him. Isagi’s rigid, and he can be all polite and all respectful to everyone else, but, Isagi’s eyes have darkened to black and he stares unabashedly at an almost naked and flushed Kaiser, at, Isagi swallows hard, at an omega so obviously in heat and so obviously wanting Isagi to take him.
“Kaiser—” Isagi’s voice is throaty. It comes out like a question. Isagi’s body, his instincts, his heart, they all know, but in his mind, he’s still a step behind, confused, Kaiser was—? How could Kaiser be—? He walks over to Kaiser and stands between Kaiser’s knees. Isagi’s not used to staring down at Kaiser, he’s not used to seeing a Kaiser look so weak, Isagi wants to take Kaiser’s blushing face in his hands, it’s an alphas instinct to treat an omega in heat softly, he reaches up but his hands end up around Kaiser’s throat.
“Yoich—” Kaiser’s wet eyes widen in alarm, Isagi’s never seen Kaiser look so small and it’s—, Isagi tightens his fingers just enough for Kaiser to shut up, the tears gather at the corner of his eyes and slide down silently down his pretty face, a scared Kaiser, it’s really—! Isagi’s jaw clenches, he wants to reach down and lick those tears up.
“You—” Isagi breathes out, he’s got Kaiser’s life in his hands, and Kaiser doesn’t fight back, Isagi’s heart races when Kaiser submits to him. Isagi had come to this Germany for this exactly. He might be an omega now but Isagi still gets the same rush an alpha does when they force another alpha into submission, throwing away your pride, Isagi’s grip tightens until Kaiser’s lips part and pant desperately for air, the little desperate sounds as he tries to survive, it’s hot and so fucking wrong, the sounds reverberates through every single cell of his body, Isagi can be this because it’s Kaiser, he doesn’t pretend that it’s not the sexiest thing he’s ever heard, he doesn’t hide how fucking hard he gets hearing Kaiser at the edge of his life, that’s hot, Kaiser, damn you, that’s so fucking hot. Isagi loosens his grip when Kaiser’s face becomes a darker shade of red. Kaiser coughs and gasps for air. Isagi watches Kaiser. Isagi only gives Kaiser a few moments before he’s kissing Kaiser deeply and taking his breath away again.
“Ah—!” Isagi’s tactless and so not romantic as he sticks his tongue into Kaiser’s open mouth, his eyes are closed and he’s so close, somehow he gets closer, he places a knee between Kaiser’s thighs and leans his weight against Kaiser, Kaiser’s a moment too slow. But he keeps his eyes open so he can take in Isagi’s expression. Isagi’s not hiding, he’s not his usual disgusting fraud self, Kaiser takes it all in. Kaiser’s barely able to breathe between Isagi’s hard and messy kisses, anytime he moves his face away to gasp, Isagi’s pulling him right back, nipping at Kaiser’s lip, sliding his tongue against Kaiser’s, existing in restriction, existing here a moment from death, in the face of this threat, Kaiser’s pupils dilate, he takes everything in, he doesn’t feel Isagi’s hands around his throat as much but he can hear perfectly Isagi’s own racing heart, it pounds in his ears and around his skull, his harsh breaths, Isagi’s short groans against his mouth, intoxicated by Isagi’s scent, fresh, clean, he furrows his eyebrows, goosebumps erupt all down his arms, Kaiser’s sense of time dissipates and he loses his mind.
“Enough.” Kaiser manages. His voice is broken. Isagi stops and opens his eyes. There’s a moment where the two of them pant, Kaiser recovers from the fear. Usually, fear was cold, would made him lose feeling of his fingers, have him disassociate and make him stiff as a corpse, Kaiser grabs his chest, his thighs press together against the knee Isagi’s placed between them, Kaiser blushes furiously, he looks down so Isagi can’t see his face, can’t see his eyes wide with what isn’t terror but desire, Kaiser clutches his burning heart, he’s not pulled from his body but instead, he feels everything. Isagi waits as Kaiser recovers, from a feeling he hasn’t felt at all, he tries to remember, feeling like this, feeling alive like this, Kaiser swallows shakily, dammit, fuck you, Yoichi.
Isagi presses a kiss to Kaiser’s damp hair, it’s strangely soft and intimate, he murmurs, “Mihya.”
The damn nickname, Kaiser clenches his teeth, who gave you the fucking right? As if, Isagi ever needed permission, as if Kaiser didn’t know more than anybody else that Isagi Yoichi could just take whatever he wanted to and do whatever he felt like. Isagi Yoichi was loved by the world and he could have anything he wanted.
“Stop with this fucking foreplay,” Kaiser says finally, he meets Isagi with a furious glare, “Fuck me already.”
“That’s cute,” Isagi is amused, he guesses Kaiser hasn’t submitted completely, well it wouldn’t be fun if you did. But he moves off the couch and opens his arms for Kaiser. Kaiser narrows his eyes. “I’m not fucking you in my living room. My parents are coming over next week.”
Kaiser takes a few moments, he stares down at his legs and prays they don’t give up on him. He stands up, the world trembles but he’s able to take a few steps, push past Isagi who rolls his eyes, towards the stairs. Kaiser doesn’t get far before he feels arms around him again.
“Wha—” Kaiser’s thrown over onto Isagi’s shoulder. Manhandled! At this, the world spins and makes him dizzy, so Kaiser just rests and lets himself be fucking carried up to Isagi’s room. He’s thrown down hard onto Isagi’s bed. Kaiser doesn’t get a moment to recover because Isagi’s hooking his arms under Kaiser’s knees and pulling him close.
“Making demands even in that pathetic state?” Kaiser gasps out when Isagi in one swift moment pulls Kaiser’s pants off. It’s hard not to be embarrassed, Isagi grins down at Kaiser, fully clothed, staring and studying intently and taking in Kaiser’s figure, his tongue comes out to trace his lower lip, Kaiser makes a hah sort of noise. Isagi, looking at him like that, of course Kaiser’s embarrassed, he leans back into the mattress and stares up at the ceiling instead. “Do you think you can just order me around?”
Of course not, Kaiser squeezes his eyes shut as if that’d help, he feels amused eyes and his sneer on his skin, Isagi’s fingers slowly caress Kaiser’s legs. He chuckles when Kaiser resists against him, keeping his thighs pressed together tightly, Isagi presses a kiss against Kaiser’s knees, “Mihya, open up. How can I fuck you if you’re like this?”
It’s harder to resist against himself, but the thought of it, Kaiser’s frowning and he shakes his head because if he talks, his voice might break and he doesn’t want Isagi to hear that. He wants to, Isagi sucks into Kaiser’s skin as he waits, some part of him wants to and some part of him burns, the ghost of his alpha self, he opens his eyes and looks at Isagi, blushing.
“You,” Kaiser fists the bedsheets in his hands. Isagi looks at him quizzically, Kaiser swallows and if he’s going to be pathetic than, Isagi needs to meet him here, or halfway at least, “Tell me something you’ve never told anyone else. Something embarrassing.”
“Seriously.” Isagi deadpans, “You’ve asked me for help and now you’re making conditions?”
But, Kaiser in heat has pushed Isagi into an early rut too, Kaiser can notice that easily, with the way Isagi’s eyes are black and his teeth have extended, the way his scent is heavy and electric and consuming, his shorts don’t hide at all how hard he is, how much he wants Kaiser too, Kaiser grins weakly. Isagi sinks his teeth into Kaiser’s tense thigh.
“Something embarrassing?” Isagi murmurs against Kaiser’s skin, the feeling of an alpha so close, Kaiser swallows when it gets harder to resist against his own instincts, hold on, Kaiser begs himself, just wait.
“I’m in love with someone who doesn’t love me back.”
Kaiser breathes out slowly and the words hang between them. For a moment, Kaiser’s too shocked to respond, and then he bursts out laughing at the expression on Isagi’s face, he thinks, Yoichi, you deserve that! A fucking taste of the real world! Isagi sighs, of course, Kaiser you’re so fucking stupid, “Satisfied?”
“Yes,” Kaiser grins, some of the embarrassment melts away into desperation and hunger, he gives one last thought to Isagi’s heartbreaking truth and it amuses him more than anything else, he stops resisting against Isagi, stops holding onto his pride as an alpha and spreads his legs like a good submissive omega.
Isagi gives one last glance to Kaiser like you’ll regret laughing at me before diving in with his tongue. There’s really no tact and nothing delicate about this trashy alpha! His fingers knot into Isagi’s dark hair and pull tightly. He, can’t find it in himself to pretend he doesn’t enjoy it. Isagi’s needy groans and throaty whimpers as he fucks into Kaiser with his tongue and sucks as if it was affecting him too. Isagi’s so gross, Kaiser clenches his jaw and rests into the mattress to pretend he can’t hear all those happy little noises coming from Isagi. He’s doing it on purpose, Kaiser realizes, because Isagi eats Kaiser out and it sounds so obscene and wet and lewd, you’re doing too much, fucking Yoichi.
“You really taste so good,” Isagi moans, like a thirsty man whose just found water, he pulls Kaiser’s lower body up towards him, “Mihya.”
“Shut up.” Kaiser tries to snap but it melts into a moan of his own. It’s better not to talk, he covers his mouth with his hand, especially when it makes Isagi’s eyes sparkle like that. Kaiser doesn’t want to react, but then Isagi makes a slurping noise that causes Kaiser’s heart jump into his throat, he barks out, face hot, “Wha-What the fuck are doing!”
Kaiser’s not, some, fucking soup or ice cream! What the hell is this idiot doing! Kaiser feels good, great, but he hates to hear Isagi enjoying himself this fucking much, all the little you’re so wet, Mihya and I thought you hated me and the fucking noises, the fucking slurping when Isagi sucks on his clit, Kaiser bites into his hand when he feels himself getting close, everything in him tightens, his heart stops for a moment, and then lets go, Kaiser cries out, spasming, Isagi’s surprised as well, when there’s a gush of liquid from Kaiser. Isagi blinks, stunned, wiping his dripping mouth and chin. Kaiser takes a few deep breaths, leaning into the mattress and staring up at the ceiling, his legs still trembles with the aftershock and—
“Huh.” Isagi says slowly. And then, he chuckles. Kaiser’s still stunned. Isagi dips down and licks up Kaiser’s slick thighs, “That’s nice, baby, I didn’t think you could do that.”
“I—” Kaiser breathes out, still frozen entirely. He doesn’t want to think, or remember, Isagi’s unbothered, actually he finds it the sexiest, filthiest thing in the world, making this prideful alpha-turned-omega-turned-his-fucking-bitch squirt all over his face, he’s doing that again, not giving Kaiser time to catch up, slurping and making those performative noises, Kaiser swallows shakily, he can’t help the way his eyes burn, did he, he really just, Isagi made him—!
“St-Stop dammit, stop being so fucking happy!” Kaiser growls out, Isagi stops and raises his eyebrows at the crying Kaiser, ah shit, don’t make that face, Isagi’s skin burns as he stares at a ruined and broken Kaiser, that’s too hot, that desperate, miserable look on you, that’s too fucking hot… Isagi lets go of Kaiser and gives him a moment, taking off his own clothes. Kaiser crawls to the centre of the bed, tucking his knees close, he focuses on each sharp breath, his heart hammers away. When the bed dips, Kaiser closes his eyes tight. Isagi grabs Kaiser’s wrist before Kaiser can wipe his wet cheeks. Isagi leans over, licking up the tears on Kaiser’s face, kissing him so Kaiser can taste his own cum and tears from Isagi’s tongue, dammit, Kaiser begs against Isagi’s mouth, “You, you can’t, tell anyone, Yoichi, please—”
Suddenly, Isagi looks angry, “You’re mine, Mihya, I’m not sharing you with anybody.”
Not that, Kaiser’s stunned pliant, Isagi spreads Kaiser’s legs apart, he glances at Kaiser like he’s, Kaiser eyes go wide, like he’s Isagi’s, like he really belongs to Isagi, his not-dead heart jumps in his chest, there’s that wretched feeling of hope that never disappears, it never fucking goes away, even after everything, even after all those times Kaiser’s died and died again, the hope that, one day, someone might, that Kaiser might be, Kaiser’s heart jumps and then shatters, Kaiser doesn’t hate it at all, he really doesn’t hate being looked at like that, he doesn’t hate it when Isagi says something like that.
“Hey Mihya,” Isagi murmurs, Kaiser stares at Isagi with those wide, stunned eyes, he takes in the sight of Isagi over him and it, his chest hurts, hope fucking hurts, Kaiser had let go of his dream of being loved, but, Isagi smiles at him, it’s only a little soft, “Technically, I’m your first.”
“Ha.” Kaiser guesses, some dreams don’t go away, he relaxes into the mattress, Isagi Yoichi is an idiot, “You’re someone that cares about that?”
“Not really,” Isagi answers, he pushes the head of his cock up against Kaiser’s pussy and uses Kaiser’s cum to lube him up, thoughtful, considerate, wants to make this hurt less, “It’s just I get to say, I took Michael Kaiser’s virginity, you know?”
“I’ll deny it,” Kaiser replies, Isagi rolls his eyes.
“But you’ll know.” Isagi’s surprisingly gentle and soft suddenly, Kaiser watches as Isagi pushes in, his eyes water when it hurts, Isagi kisses him as if apologizing. Kaiser focuses on each of his breaths, on Isagi’s breaths, on the feeling of Isagi’s skin on his, he grabs the damp strands of hair at Isagi’s nape and pulls Isagi closer and deeper into him. Kaiser’s gasps into Isagi’s mouth, some pain and some pleasure and some the air just being fucked out of him, Isagi presses his head against Kaiser’s, watching and taking in all of the expression that Kaiser makes, because Isagi had been dreaming of this for years.
“Can I—”
“Give me a moment—”
Isagi’s overly eager, of course, he rests his head against Kaiser’s body, being inside you, ah, Isagi shudders, being here with you, he wants to fuck Kaiser hard and quick but he waits for Kaiser to tell him it’s okay to move, he wants Kaiser to enjoy this, wants Kaiser to really enjoy this and come back again for more, for the rest of his life, Isagi wants Kaiser to come back to him over and over and over again, he wants Kaiser here, all his, only his, Isagi sucks a mark gently into Kaiser’s neck, Isagi eyes it, he fights everything he is not to sink his teeth and mark Kaiser as his, Kaiser’s quiet Yoichi snaps him out of it.
“Don’t hold back,” Kaiser tells him, which goes against everything Kaiser seems to be showing him. But, Kaiser’s eyes meet his, they’re dark too, hungry and desperate, and Kaiser leans upwards to kiss him. “I fucking hate that polite you,”
Isagi’s not really as terrible as Kaiser thinks. He’s not that rude, and not all of his kindness and politeness is as fake as Kaiser believes, but if it’s Kaiser, if it’s you, Isagi kisses him once more, either to apologise for thinking Kaiser was delicate, or to apologise for what he’s about to do, Kaiser hisses when Isagi slams into him. “Ah, fuck, fuckk,” There’s an incoherent string of curses and threats the more Isagi gives into his alpha self, into his dream of having Michael Kaiser under him.
It's when Kaiser starts crying out and begging Isagi getting him pregnant does reality really sink into Isagi, before, it had been impossible, Isagi had known Kaiser was an alpha but it hadn’t mattered, he’d still wanted him, now, Isagi’s thrusts are short and harsh and without any real rhythm, just an eager alpha in rut who’s finally gotten his silly crush to submit to him, the sight of Kaiser under him, writhing and all pretty, hazed eyes and wet cheeks and his tattooed neck marked up, Isagi slows down and places a palm against Kaiser’s hard stomach, and, he swallows, grinning, eyes almost crazy, he feels his self and suddenly he really can’t stop thinking about giving Kaiser what he wants, filling him up, getting him pregnant and round and soft, Isagi is enamoured, it washes over him, Kaiser his. All his.
“Mihya,” Isagi breathes out, not that Kaiser can hear him, Kaiser cums, he pushes Isagi out of him as he squirts again, Isagi doesn’t give him a moment this time, he’s just pulling Kaiser back onto his cock, where this disgraced emperor fucking belongs, “You, you shouldn’t say that, I really can’t—”
Isagi’s cock slips out and he’s annoyed, not really, he laughs, it’s just proof of how much Kaiser’s enjoying this, slamming back into Kaiser who gasps as the oxygen is fucked out of him, Kaiser’s so wet, Isagi tells him this, he murmurs deliriously all fitlhy things that has Kaiser becoming more and more ruined, “Jeez, you’re so wet, it’s like, a fucking slip-n-slide, ha, Mihya, you really love me, you actually love me, don’t you? You really want to be mine? You really want me to knock you up?”
Kaiser just agrees, everything Isagi says, everything his alpha’s saying, Kaiser agrees instinctively and thoughtlessly, “Yoi—chi—, yes, ha, please... Please—”
It’s pathetic really, Isagi hears Kaiser say he loves him and it goes half to his heart and half to his cock, he’s just an eager alpha in rut hearing the person he was in love with him finally say it back, he cums and knots Kaiser, Kaiser whimpers right into his ear, hooking his legs and arms around Isagi and pulling him deeper so that Isagi can really just knock him up. Kaiser feels Isagi’s knot inflate and it makes him breathless, Isagi murmurs soft, sweet words of encouragement into the crook of Kaiser’s neck, can’t, it’s too much, but Isagi tells him, you can, you were made for this.
“Yoichi.” Kaiser’s voice breaks, the feeling of Isagi’s muscles underneath his fingertips, the expanse of warm skin, Isagi’s scent clouds Kaiser’s mind, he wants to be here, it’s not too much, Kaiser can take it, his alpha says he can so he can, he looks up into Isagi’s dark eyes and then, ah his heart, his stupid fucking heart, hope doesn’t die, Kaiser wants to be loved, everything overwhelms him, being brought back to life, suddenly he feels everything, hypersensitive to the world around him, Kaiser wants, Kaiser's always just, even after all this fucking time, he wants to be a human that can love and be loved.
Without thinking, an invitation, Kaiser bares his throat to Isagi, and without thinking, Isagi sinks his teeth in and mates with Kaiser.