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"What," Tony says, because seriously, what.
"You heard me," Doom said.
"Yeah," Tony said. "But what."
"The demon who possessed Ms Frost was not entirely banished. Now, we can use our connection as wielder of Excalibur and its scabbard to power the banishing spell, or we can sacrifice some children. The choice is yours." Doom shrugged. "Your cancer children were going to die anyway. They may as well die a useful death."
"What is wrong with you?" Tony fell back in his chair. "I mean, obviously you're Doctor Doom, but Jesus."
"No, Victor."
Tony stared. "Were you trying to make a joke? I can't deal with this. I can't deal with you being handsome and I can't deal with you making jokes. I can't deal with this stupid choice. I can't deal with any of this." Tony brought his hands down from where he'd thrown them up. "FRIDAY, please call Dr Strange."
"You think I'm handsome?" Doom asked. He sounded sincerely curious and Tony hadn't even noticed him sitting down.
"Have you seen you?" Tony replied, gesturing vaguely at Doom's face and Doom's everything while waiting for Stephen to pick up the phone.
"I have an aversion to mirrors," Doom said. That almost made Tony feel sorry for him, when Tony thought about why Doom wouldn't like mirrors.
"Strange speaking," Stephen said. "If this is about Doom again --"
"Yeah," Tony said. The chair in front of him was empty.
"I'll be right there," Stephen said. And he was. He destroyed the carpet with the edges of his teleportation spell, but he was right there.
Tony explained the situation. Stephen frowned.
"He's not lying," Stephen said, which was so far from what Tony wanted to hear it might as well have been on the other side of a black hole. "It was clearly a rush job. Doom banished most of the demon and displaced the rest."
"Displaced?" Tony asked. This had better not be going where Tony thought it was going -- who was he kidding, of course it was. "Let me guess. In himself?"
Stephen nodded.
"Just brilliant!" Tony knocked over the (cold, thankfully) coffee off the table and it spilled everywhere, including all over MJ's contract. "So not only do I have to fuck Doctor Doom, I have to fuck Doctor Doom while he's partly possessed by a demon." So maybe Tony's voice had gotten way too high at the end there, but cut him some slack he's kind of panicking. Doctor Doom. Demon possession. Doctor Doom's way too handsome face. Sexual intercourse. Doctor Doom's way too handsome everything.
"It's very unlikely he'll lose control while the two of you are engaged," Stephen said. He sat down -- in the chair Doom hadn't sat in, even though it was on the other side of the room. Yeah, Tony had a good feeling about this.
"Please don't make it sound like we're getting married," Tony said. At Stephen's face, he added, "Seriously?"
Stephen spread his hands and shrugged. "It's not called holy matrimony for nothing."
Tony wasn't even going to touch that. Fine. He'd do it, but that didn't mean he had to like it.
(He did like it.)