Work Text:
Kakashi had been frequenting parks for a while, knowing that no one would really care if he hung around because he was only 19 after all, but deeper than that, he was a trusted shinobi, someone who had proved himself as Konoha’s best since he became a chunin at only 6. Parents had no reason to feel uneasy that the villages best shinobi took time to watch over their children. It started more innocently just wanting to watch kids of Konoha and their families play. To see those familial bonds he had long since felt. But just like everything else Kakashi did, he had to escalate the situation. He went from stopping by the park every few days, appealing to many of his vices, lighting a quick cigarette and stealing a few glances at all the rowdy children. But slowly he was visiting his local park multiple times a day in between ANBU solo missions and hiding in the brush of the trees while rutting into his hand. Stifling the groans he so desperately needed to get out. His once innocent affinity to kids had obviously become a problem, one that only got worse as he met Sakura.
It blew Kakashi’s mind how far he was suddenly ready to go to truly meet Sakura. Yes, he was a pervert just for how he got off to kids innocently playing at a park but he would never go as far as to touch one, or so he thought. He was so entranced with the little girl, venturing out farther and farther everyday from the brush and trees he once called home, trying to get closer and closer to her, he needed to get closer to her. He spent days slowly making himself seen to the girl, taking time to brush her pink locks behind her ear when her mother wasn’t looking, or bringing her sweets just so he could steal a peek at the kiddish smile that bloomed on her face from the gift. Sometimes she would disappear from the playground and wander into the brush surrounding it looking for her silver haired friend, waiting for him to appear. Kakashi savoured the time he got in private with the girl, when they were in the brush together it was truly just them. He asked her about school, where she lived and constantly reminded her of how smart she was. He got to learn so much about the girl and didn’t have to worry about being seen. He didn’t think his obsession with the young vixen could go any deeper, until she remarked that one day she would become just like him, a strong shinobi. He should’ve felt shame with how big his chest swelled in pride, he was a man, no girls words should have such an effect on him. Yet all he wanted to do was show the girl how her words had truly affected him.
He sat on the outskirts of the playground for yet another sleepless night, holding a cigarette in between his long slender fingers, drawing long breaths through the filter as he stared up at the night sky, he had found solace in the Konoha playground for many years, only recently had his solace turned so nefarious. He recalled how before he picked up both of his nasty habits, he would visit the playground to reminisce on all the memories he made with his father here, the unadulterated love and fun that had lived in the walls of the playground while his father still breathed. 19 years of age, a perfect killing tool for Konoha, a respected shinobi, a valued member of society, but ultimately the same torn up child lived within the walls of his recessed, nonchalant attitude. Nothing could quell the burn Kakashi felt at that moment, nor the burn he had felt every day since his father took his life. Yet another fire was lit within himself at that moment, when his eye caught a glance of pink locks moving towards the playground.
His heart beat rose faster and faster as he stood from where he was sitting and moved to approach the child. The bitter taste on his tongue never beginning to cease from the burnt inhalation of smoke as he moved to take a seat on a nearby bench. He adjusted his mask, swiftly removing his hitai-ate before cracking a small smile in the direction of the girl. He laughed at himself mentally, the girl was so young that it wasn’t like he was able to charm her like Kakashi did at every turn with every adult in his life. The girl approached him, returning that same smile. She used her arms as leverage when pushing herself on the bench beside the teen. Kakashi knew immediately it was his time to swoop in. Feigning concern as he questioned the girl about where her parents were and why she was alone. The lamb sputtered and sobbed as she explained to Kakashi the reason why she had wandered off at night.
”I- I just, I just wanted them to feel bad like I do when they don’t pay attention to me. I didn’t mean to run away but- but,” She choked out, “I just opened the door and left.”
He pulled the small bairn onto his lap, patting her back as she sobbed. He let the girl rest his face in the crook of his neck as she continued to wail. Kakashi could only feel so bad for the girl, it’s hard to cope with civilian parents who don’t care, but at the same time they should’ve known what fate little Sakura was going to receive by playing around at parks late at night.
Sakura was the most beautiful girl Kakashi had ever laid his eyes upon. Long pink hair that carried loose waves in the ends that flowed well beyond the crook of her back, freckles dusting themselves all around the bridge of her nose and cheekbones. She had cute little messed up teeth, the top ones had a gap and the bottom ones were all crooked, each one facing their own way. Kakashi admired the young, green eyes that were filled with so much hope and care as she sat restlessly on the teens lap, finally beginning to soothe. Sakura grew even more restless anytime physical contact was continued, clearly not used to having someone older dote on her so much, letting a light rose coloured blush fall over her face that wouldn’t have been noticeable to an average set of eyes. She squirmed as Kakashi continued further, trying to test the waters. Kakashi cracked a full toothed grin as he explored the lamb, tracing his hands wherever he wanted to, wherever he could reach. He ghosted his hands over her flat chest, teasing the minute buds on her chest till they sprung up, he used one arm to wrap himself around her tiny waist, pulling her infinitely closer to him as he brought his other hand down to cup her vagina. He used to leverage from the arm wrapped around her to grind her into his hand and broke into a grin at how she gasped at the touch. He continued to use his cupped hand to explore, stroking her folds with his finger through the fabric, searching to find that tiny bud hidden through all those layers all while she tried to wriggle from his touch. How kind of Sakura to so wilfully offer herself to the older boy. Kakashi loved when someone so juvenile was just this susceptible and malleable to his touch.
It was Kakashi’s ultimate guilty pleasure. Watching the way the kiddie keened at his less than appropriate touches and how she leaned into any sliver of attention she was granted. The way she seemed like she wanted to feel good just as badly as Kakashi did. The way Kakashi was so hyper aware of how scarred the girl would be once she realized what had happened, yet not caring because at least he got this one small moment with her. He allowed himself to become enamoured and somewhat lost in the moment, granting himself the peace and clarity that was being allowed to his mind as he took from the girl. Flushed cheeks and eager chases after Kakashi’s thin hands anytime he removed them from the her. And in a darker, more sick string of thoughts, Kakashi revelled in how his Sharingan captured every moment of this.
He knew once it was over that the guilt would eat him alive but it was worth it for Sakura. Guilt ate him alive everyday, he had failed every single person he had ever loved or felt responsible for. There was no one alive that he cared about to witness his depravity, to feel the shame he brought for being a sick predator. He didn’t spend so many days watching the girl from afar, using his years in ANBU to follow her home seamlessly or eavesdropping as much as he could to eventually learn her name all for nothing. Kakashi put in so much work, he had to restrain himself for days, he had to resist just pretending to be the girl’s older brother and taking her home to do his worst. In the darkest recesses of his mind, a fantasy existed where he kept Sakura as his for the rest of her life, taking all of his worst thoughts, memories, feelings and forcing it into her. He knew Sakura didn’t deserve such anger and hate filled rape, he hoped Sakura would at least appreciate that fact Kakashi didn’t hurt her even though he could have. He hoped that she would appreciate the fact that the hands that have been used to kill so many, the hands that killed his best friend were used to love her so tenderly.
As far as Kakashi was concerned, he deserved to have Sakura like this, he was the only one who cared about Sakura enough to not hurt her, he wasn’t like Sakura’s terrible parents who just let her wander freely, at least Kakashi actually cared.