Work Text:
There was something about being anonymous that she liked. It was part of her innate being that helped her survive as a spy.
She would trawl through the many online forums that allowed anonymous posting and she'd find the posts that appealed to her.
Sometimes they were inspirational stories, sometimes funny pictures, and, at odd times, the occasional heart-breaking and beautifully written short story.
She never left many words, usually a sentence or two, or even just a phrase.
She never left any details that would point to her.
She never drew attention to her presence on a particular site, and visited them at random.
But it was neither the anonymity she craved, nor the thrill of finding something amazing. It was not the release it gave her from her stress-filled life.
It was that innocuous captcha.
To others, it was a little obstacle, a precaution that sometimes annoyed the user and sometimes caused the loss of work. To others it was not a cause for celebration when the site accepted that you were able to read.
Every time she was able to successfully navigate a captcha, she would smile tightly.
At least she could still answer 'Are you human?' with a yes.
At least she was still human.
It was one of the nights she needed to prove her humanity to herself that Clint knocked on her door.
Getting no response, he listened carefully through the door and thought he heard the quiet, muffled sobs of the Black Widow.
He quickly entered his code and flung open the door.
She sat on her bed, a laptop computer flung to the floor, landing in such a way that it must have been thrown. There was a pillow over her face as her shoulders shook, leaning over drawn up knees and her lower back against the wall.
She looked up at the intrusion and saw her face and reddened eyes for a moment before she hid it again.
He walked slowly over to the laptop and picked it up, looking at the screen.
Please try again.
Are you human?
He knew. He understood, because he'd done the same thing before.
"If you weren't human, would you feel so bad about all this?" he asked, voice firm.
"If I had feelings, I would."
"Oh, Tasha." He grimaced, eyes downcast as he sat down beside her and handed her the laptop. "You are human, and humans make mistakes."
She heard the unspoken message and entered the new captcha code.
Your comment has been successfully posted came onscreen.
She let go of the breath she had been holding and smiled at her friend.
"Thanks."
"Goodnight, Tasha. Don't stay up too late," he added, a little smirk on his face.
-
She didn't stop looking for the captcha because of that one failure.
She still browsed the forums, leaving her little contributions.
She still liked to answer 'Are you human?', filling in the little box after the image.
She still liked having her humanity confirmed, because some nights she felt like a monster.
Because if she was human, she could change, she could wipe off that ledger and she could fight by her friends.
She could fight for those that couldn't.