Chapter Text
It’s been two years since Inumaki Toge moved in with Okkotsu Yuuta.
For the most part, it’s been great. Yuuta was a really good roommate—although technically they don’t share a room so maybe housemate is the more accurate term. But Yuuta prefers to call him his roomie so that’s that. Anyway, Yuuta is a good roommate.
Especially when compared to Toge’s previous roommate. Ugh, just the thought of that guy drives Toge nuts. Aoi Todo was a peculiar character and, for lack of better words, was obnoxious in general. He was messy and noisy—a combination of both things Toge dislikes. Sure, he can be tolerable and can be relied on when push comes to shove, but the pros were not enough to outweigh the cons.
Toge had sworn that if he heard another word about his apparently disappointing taste—or lack of— in women one more time, he’d go insane. Which was why Zenin Maki was a lifesaver. She was one of his best friends. His ride-or-die, if he might add. The one Toge knows would jump into the fire to save him but also be the first one to berate him for being in that fire in the first place.
In other words, he trusts her.
Maki and Toge study under different courses—she was in Accountancy and he was in Psychology— but they still keep in touch. Would probably still keep in touch even when they grow old— or at least, Toge hopes. After all, only Maki understands the pressure that comes with having controlling parents and an oppressive family. But that’s a topic for another day.
Anyway, Maki was one of his best friends and she’s also a lifesaver. Before Toge could commit murder and ruin his future, she came in with a suggestion that changed the trajectory of his life.
“A guy I know was looking for a roommate.” She had told him then. “His apartment is a bit of a distance from the campus though but it’s a good place. I met him at the Kendo club and he’s an okay guy. You’ll probably get along with him.”
At the time, Toge was thinking of turning down the offer. He had no qualms about whoever the guy was— after all, he knew Maki would never offer if she knew he wouldn’t like them. But the distance felt like a chore to him.
While he was annoyed with Todo, he also didn’t like the idea of waking up earlier for his classes. He wasn’t a morning person so he preferred the school dorms because he could spend a few more minutes in bed and still be on time for the lectures. But if the new place was too far from the campus then it would be a bummer.
“I’ll think about it,” He had said that with no actual intention of thinking about it. But his mind quickly changed not soon after. Later that day, Todo blasted his favorite idol Takada-chan or something’s music loud in their shared space and Toge found that he couldn’t study at all. So he immediately texted Maki and sent:
When can I meet the Kendo guy and move in?
Read 17:35
Which leads to the present.
Toge laid flat on his back as he blinked up at the ceiling. He was already awake for a while but he was waiting for the dizziness to subside. This was why he disliked mornings. Living with hypotension sometimes made waking up a chore, especially when dealing with vertigo. But then again, maybe he shouldn’t have spent late hours watching mukbang videos last night.
When his spinning vision became more tolerable, he reached for the bottle of water that was placed on his nightstand. It was still slightly cold to the touch and Toge found himself smiling as he drank from it.
Did he already mention that Yuuta was a really good roommate? Toge never asked him but when Yuuta learned that he had low blood pressure and that it made his mornings terrible, he always made it a habit to leave a new bottle of water for Toge every day.
Yuuta is a medical student so he knows best. Maybe these gestures were just him being dedicated to his future job, or perhaps he’s just a nice person in general. Two years living with him proved that it was the latter.
Toge laid down for a few more minutes before he got up and did his morning stretches. He wasn’t the type to do morning jogs like Yuuta and Maki but he does stretch his limbs before starting his day. It also helps to wake him up before he finally leaves his room. Walking to the kitchen, he was greeted with the pleasant smell of coffee and the familiar sound of sizzling oil.
“Good morning, Toge. Thought I had to go in there myself and wake you up again,” Yuuta’s soft voice greeted him and he was met with a gentle smile. His roommate was cracking eggs over the pan and his slightly damp hair told Toge that he must’ve just gotten out of the shower. His white shirt was tight against his broad shoulders—damn, look at those muscles— and Toge wonders what it’s like to run his fingers through—okay, enough.
‘Good morning’, Toge signed, shaking away his unholy thoughts as he gave his roommate a hopefully neutral look. ‘And you don’t have to. I still have an hour before class.’
Yuuta’s eyes were carefully watching his hands. He had gotten better at reading JSL since they started living together, insisting on learning so that Toge didn't have to write or text his replies all the time. He chuckled in response and said, “Well, I still wouldn’t mind waking you up. Last time, you were drooling in your sleep. It was cute.”
Ignoring the tease, Toge pulled the nearest chair and sat down. He took a sip from the cup of chamomile tea already prepared on the table and sighed in relief. His throat has always been in terrible condition since three years ago and it was especially worse after just waking up. Perhaps if there was a god of mornings or whatever out there, they must’ve hated him. Headaches, occasional cramps, and dry, sore throats whenever he wakes up? Pain.
But Yuuta has been quite a blessing in his life ever since they met. He makes waking up every day easier with his little acts of service. Like the bottled water on his bedside table or preparing his preferred tea every morning while making breakfast for the both of them. It almost makes Toge feel envious. Whoever gets to marry such a caring man would have to be the luckiest person in the world.
‘Thank you for the tea.’ Toge signed when Yuuta turned around.
“Ah,” His roommate suddenly said with a frown. “That was actually for me.”
Toge’s eyes instantly widened in response, almost choking on his drink as he set the now nearly empty cup down. He felt mortified— oh gosh, he’d gotten so used to Yuuta doing things for him that he assumed the tea was also for him. Whatever expression he made must’ve been funny because his roommate suddenly burst into laughter.
“I’m joking! Sorry, sorry,” The other laughed, frown turning into a huge grin while shaking his head. In a voice filled with glee and almost sounded fond, he added, “Of course, it’s for you, Toge. I always make you tea.”
Toge regarded him with a slight glare before huffing. He’ll let it slide for now. He’s always the one teasing Yuuta anyway so he’ll let his roommate have this win for today. The two fall back into a comfortable silence as the other continues preparing breakfast while Toge watches him.
Mornings with his roommate were one of his favorites. He never thought it was possible for him to like the early hours of the day but here he was, staring fondly as Yuuta made their breakfast.
It makes Toge’s heart ache with both fondness and futile yearning.
Yuuta was a pleasant surprise in his life but while he was a great roommate for the most part, not everything is sunshine and rainbows. There is always bad with the good and, in this case, the bad meant Yuuta was very kind, considerate, and…hot.
Toge is not blind.
He can see how the deep blue of Yuuta’s eyes was as magnetizing as the sea and always pulled him in whenever they gazed at him. His chiseled jawline, the perfect slope of his nose, the way his smile curves like it was Cupid’s bowstring—Yuuta was like a flawlessly carved statue of a god. Probably made by the hands of a very talented sculptor. A masterpiece. An Adonis among men.
Yuuta was hot and that was bad.
Why? Because Toge was gay. He never knew until he met Yuuta but the man was his rude gay awakening. He had always thought that maybe he was just not interested in love in general when no one—man or woman— caught his eye. But then this Adonis of a man came and hit him like a wrecking ball or something. But it’s not like Toge had a chance at all. Yuuta was hot and, unfortunately for Toge, he was straight.
Yuuta was not into men. So he could never be into Toge.
Not that he ever asked him— that would be too awkward, right?— but he thinks it was quite clear. Unlike Toge who liked to keep to himself, Yuuta was an open book. He wore his heart on his sleeve and was sincere almost to a fault. So when Toge sometimes asked, Yuuta would often answer. It was during their sixth or seventh month living together that his curiosity got the best of him and he asked his roommate about the ring he wore like a pendant around his neck.
The truth came out and brought both good and bad things. Good because Toge got to know more about Yuuta, which goes to show how much his roommate trusted him. Bad because the ring was given by someone very special to the guy. So special that it became clear to Toge that his hot roommate was romantically unavailable and that he never had a chance at all.
Yuuta had an ex-lover. Orimoto Rika was the name of the lucky girl.
Even though they had already parted, it was clear how much she still mattered to him. The way he spoke about her, the way his eyes glistened at the mention of her, and the way his fingers held the ring hanging off his neck as if it was the greatest treasure he had(and maybe it is) was enough proof. Toge was a psych major. He can’t read minds but he can clearly understand the signs of love.
Yuuta was still in love with her.
Even though he claims to have moved on—or at least trying to— there will always be a part that still kept yearning for his first love.
They broke up because of distance. Rika’s parents didn’t approve of them so they sent her overseas in hopes that it would ruin what they had. And despite the promises they made for each other, it did. They were still too young and naive and their love stood no chance against the conniving, poisonous words of adults.
They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder but sometimes that’s not the case.
Sometimes distance is exactly how it is defined. A space between two people. It is separation. In Yuuta and Rika’s case, they loved each other but the distance was like a sinking ship where holding on tighter would lead them nowhere and they realized that they had to let go before they drowned with it. But, even if Toge doesn’t deeply analyze the longing look in Yuuta’s eyes, the fact that he still wears that ring is enough proof of his persistent feelings.
So Toge understood where he stood, drew an invisible boundary, and tucked his feelings away. He kept it locked in a box, buried it deep down in the darkest corner of his heart, and threw the key away. He was a roommate, not a potential lover.
He was only Yuuta’s friend and nothing more. Besides, the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that there’s no way someone like Inumaki Toge could ever deserve someone like Okkotsu Yuuta anyway.
He had gotten ahead of himself.
“Here you go,” Yuuta’s voice cut him off his thoughts as he placed a plate of two sunny-side-up eggs on the table. One of them looked charred while the other was decently made. There was a sheepish look on his roommate's face as he said, “I accidentally burned the first one. But I think the second one looks better! You can have that one, Toge.”
Purple eyes wandered from Yuuta to the burnt egg before they closed as he smiled. He said this before but there is a need for emphasis: Yuuta is a really good roommate. Too good for Toge, to be honest. Despite the offer, he wordlessly took the first one anyway, much to his roommate’s protest, and placed it on his plate. He signed, ‘It’s okay. I like my eggs slightly burnt.’
Yuuta opened his mouth to insist again but was interrupted by a loud meow. The two of them turned to find Panda by the doorway, giving his owner a blank stare and demanding food. At the reminder that there was a third life in the apartment, Yuuta groaned and said, “I forgot to feed him. Be right back.”
Toge chuckled and started eating, eyes still following Yuuta as he fretted around looking for a can of tuna to feed his cat. Panda was a ragdoll cat that Yuuta already owned before Toge’s arrival. He had a predominantly white coat but his paws, ears, and the fur around his eyes were black, which made him look like a panda, hence his name.
When Maki had told Toge that her friend was looking for a roommate, he was expecting the Kendo guy to be a bit more macho or stern-looking like Maki. Instead, he found himself meeting an awkward yet still polite, tired-looking guy who looked like he'd collapse anytime. However, when he helped carry Toge's stuff as he moved in later that week, the sight of those strong arms changed that opinion.
A part of him wondered why someone like Yuuta had trouble finding a roommate. The guy cleaned up after himself and was very considerate. The apartment wasn’t too far away from the campus as Toge had presumed and the rent was reasonable for the huge space and utilities they were provided with.
But when he finally met Yuuta’s cat, Panda, the answer became clear.
Despite his cute appearance, Panda was a menace. He seemed to have some vendetta against every single one of Yuuta’s previous roommates and successfully drove them out of the apartment. Yuuta had been struggling to maintain a roommate for his entire freshman year and when he thought of just moving into the school dorms, pets were off-limits on the campus.
Since it was in the middle of the semester, moving out and finding a new apartment was also out of the question. But paying for rent alone put a huge dent in Yuuta’s pockets.
So in came Toge who not only would split the bills with him but also, miraculously, was one of the few people Panda liked.
The memory of Yuuta's relieved face had Toge smiling as he ate his slightly burnt eggs with bacon and rice. When that was done, he finished the rest of the tea Yuuta made for him and got up. He still had time before his first class started but should start preparing for it now.
“Just put it on the sink, I’ll be the one to wash it,” Yuuta said, having just come back and eating his breakfast now. He offered Toge his usual gentle smile and said, “You’re gonna be late.”
‘It’s not that late yet though,’ Toge signed. Despite being slow in the mornings, Toge has only been late one time (maybe two?) during his sophomore year, but since then, Yuuta has always insistent on helping him stay punctual.
“Yeah but better safe than sorry, right?” The other replied, before downing his coffee like it was his lifeline. Based on how dark his eyebags have become or how hectic his schedule has been, Toge wouldn’t doubt that coffee was what kept Yuuta running nowadays. Sometimes he wonders if his roommate even sleeps at all.
But alas, before Toge would drown in his usual thoughts of his roommate once more, he decided to head back to his room and prepare for the day. While there were not a lot of words he could physically say, Toge’s mind was always a whirlwind of thoughts. His thoughts always seem to jump from one point to another but these days, they’ve always been circling back to his roommate.
Despite swearing to himself not to fall in love with Yuuta anymore, it was really hard not to. The more he sees Yuuta— which was every day, mind you— the more he seems to find new things to like about him. Whether it was the way he laughed out loud whenever they watched a funny movie together or the concentrated look on his face when he was focused on something, it’s both exhilarating and frustrating. The way his heart bounced whenever Yuuta did something sweet or endearing should be illegal.
Okkotsu Yuuta should be illegal.
It’s not fair to be so handsome, caring, and smart at the same time and yet be so unattainable. Yuuta was—and excuse Toge's vocabulary—a fucking perfect boyfriend material. Cooking every morning, always checking up on Toge, and buying things he thinks his quiet roommate would like. It’s like dangling a piece of meat in front of a hungry lion. It’s unfair. It’s sadistic. And Toge never really considered himself a masochist but Yuuta has him royally fucked.
If only Yuuta also fuc—
There he goes again. Maybe Psychology was the wrong course for him. His mind was too noisy for his own good, why would he want to study about others’ minds? But then again, this was the only course he could stand that his parents would approve of. Anything else he actually liked was frowned upon.
But enough about all that.
Sighing, Toge finished brushing his teeth, fixing his hair, and making himself presentable for the day. He unplugged his phone and put it in his pocket along with his keys and wallet. Reaching down to get his backpack, the psych major frowned at the unexpectedly heavy weight of it.
Don’t tell me, he thought with a sigh as he settled his bag down and opened it. Just as he had thought, a pair of beady eyes stared back at him so innocently as if it wasn’t doing anything wrong. Sighing fondly, Toge carried Panda out of his bag and shook his head disapprovingly.
While it’s a good thing Panda doesn’t hate him, the downside seems to be that Panda likes Toge too much to the point of being clingy. He has lost count of how many times he was surprised to find the cat nestled comfortably in his bag.
Pets were off limits on campus so there were a lot of instances that Toge panicked when he only belatedly realized that the naughty cat had somehow snuck into his bag. He once meowed loudly in one of his lectures, asking for food. It was a good thing that Gojo-sensei was chill about it. Due to that, he has always been vigilant these days. Patting him, Toge softly chided, “No, you can’t come with me, Panda.”
As if he understood, the ragdoll cat meowed in reply.
“Maybe next time,” Toge said in the softest voice, adjusting Panda in one arm while bending down to get his bag off the floor and hooking it over his shoulder. He readjusted the cat in his hold again, thinking about how much heavier he had gotten. He wondered if they were feeding him too much.
Panda was purring in his arms(he always loved being held by his favorite human, much to Yuuta's dismay sometimes) as Toge left his room and went to the kitchen. But when he peeked through the doorway, it was already empty and the dishes were all washed. He must be in his room then, he thought as he turned around to head there.
Standing outside Yuuta’s door, Toge did five knocks in the same rhythm as Frozen’s Do you wanna build a snowman song. Perhaps they were living like cavemen but both of them had never seen that movie before and when Nobara and Yuuji learned of their atrocious deeds, they looked so scandalized and forced them to watch it.
Since then, Yuuta and Toge always replicated that knock and it was their way of informing each other of their presence. Not that it mattered since they were the only ones in this apartment space, along with Panda, but it was still fun to have something for themselves. It made Toge feel special— even though he tried to push that feeling away.
“Coming! Just a moment please,” A muffled voice was heard through the door before the sound of shuffling and hurried steps followed. Eventually, Toge was greeted by Yuuta’s smiling face when the door opened, “Hey, are you leaving already?”
Wordlessly, Toge lifted Panda higher and offered him to the owner.
His roommate’s eyes widened as he took the cat from him and laughed. “Oh, did he sneak into your bag again?” He turned to the naughty cat in his arms and said in a scolding voice, “Panda, how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t bother Toge, ‘kay? If you keep doing that, I’m not taking you to the park today.”
The cat just gave him the most unamused, unimpressed, and unconvinced side-eye its beady eyes could convey. It’s as if Panda doesn’t even buy Yuuta’s empty threats and it was right to believe that. Yuuta was too soft to actually carry through with any of his punishments.
‘Doesn’t look like he believes you,’ Toge signed with a chuckle as he reached out to pat Panda again. The cat purred in his touch and tried to grab for his hand but he was fast enough to pull away. With a more stern voice, he said, “No.”
Toge doesn’t often speak for many reasons. But on better days, he liked talking to Panda and some of his friends. He hated the sound of his voice but sometimes, there are moments when it’s tolerable. Now was one of those times.
When the cat meowed in protest, Toge found himself smiling. If he didn't have class, he'd love to cuddle with the adorable pet but he was going to be late if he kept this on. His eyes wandered from cat to the one holding him, about to bid his goodbye but was slightly taken aback at the look on Yuuta’s face.
Maybe he is delusional, probably a product of his unrequited crush but sometimes, Toge thinks, Yuuta has this strange look on his face whenever Toge speaks. It's the same expression on his face right now. His mouth is slightly parted, his eyes are wide and his cheeks are a little rosy.
It’s almost as if he was staring fondly at Toge—as if he was someone to admire.
But of course, that’s impossible. There was nothing to admire about him plus, Yuuta was not into men, so he’s not into Toge. And Toge was gay— very gay for Yuuta so maybe his mind was making up illusions to feed his pitiful crush. Besides, Toge only said one word. Maybe his roommate’s fascination was only because he rarely spoke.
As this realization came, whatever illusion he had broke because Yuuta’s expression was back to his typical good-natured smile. With a tilt of his head, the raven-haired Adonis— man— just a man, asked, “Are you heading to class now?”
Toge nodded, readjusting the strap of his bag, and waved his hand goodbye.
But before he could leave, Yuuta offered, “Why don’t I walk you to school? My classes are all canceled today so I’ve got nothing much to do.”
‘You don’t have to,’ Toge signed, tilting his head slightly with a bemused expression. It’s not often that Yuuta’s classes get canceled, and it’s even rarer for him to have an entire day free. On miraculous days like this, he should be resting or doing something else than just accompanying Toge to a short walk to school.
“It’s okay,” the other assured, bouncing the cat in his arms for emphasis. “Besides, I need to take Panda to the park today so it’ll be along the way!”
Or he could do that, yeah.
Smiling, Toge nodded in confirmation. His approval made Yuuta beam like a child given a candy— is walking with Panda and Toge really something to be so happy about? But then again, it’s Yuuta. He’s kind, caring, and has a simple heart. That’s one of the many reasons why Toge likes him after all.
“I’ll go get his stroller!” His roommate said, disappearing into his room as he prepared the things that he and Panda needed. It was only a quick few minutes before the three of them were ready to leave the apartment. “Sorry, you’re not going to be late yet, right?”
7:32 A.M
Toge checked the time on his phone before turning to his roommate with a shake of his head. He’s got enough time before his eight o’clock class. Seriously, what sadist decided that eight in the morning was a reasonable time to go to school? Toge normally doesn’t fully function well until at least 10:00 AM.
Back in his pre-Yuuta days, he would be frowning all morning or walking like a zombie. In a way, Yuuta was like a sunshine that made his days better just by simply existing.
“Alright, there we go!” His ray of sunshine said, adjusting Panda in one arm while carrying the folded stroller in the other. His sleeves were rolled up so his forearms were on display, giving Toge a good look at his muscles and the fascinating curves of his veins that made him wonder if his grip would bruise Toge’s waist if he—
Sigh.
Toge shook his thoughts away for the umpteenth time that day—and it was still pretty early!— as he cleared his throat and opened the door for Yuuta. The two of them went down the stairs and spent the rest of the walk making small talk. Panda was, for the most part, behaved the entire time.
He didn’t try to jump out of the stroller so Yuuta and Toge had a relatively peaceful journey. His raven-haired roommate was mostly filling him in on something that happened in class yesterday, talking animatedly with one hand while the other pushed the stroller, “It was one of the scariest moments in my life! I really couldn’t find the kid’s vein!”
Toge grinned at his little anecdote. It’s so like Yuuta to panic when things don’t go the way he planned. He signed, ‘Why did you volunteer to do it then?’
“Well, nobody wanted to do it so I stepped up,” Yuuta said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “But after that, I understand why. I really couldn’t find his vein and I didn’t know where to stick the needle in. It didn’t help that Miguel-sensei was looking at me the whole time!”
‘Well, did he say something?’
“I was lucky enough to finally finish the task so he didn’t say much,” Yuuta said with a nervous chuckle. “But he did tell me that I should probably practice more. Especially that next class, he’ll be overseeing how we administer IVs.”
‘Are you gonna administer it on real people too?’
“No, we’re doing it with dummies! We don't usually test on actual people yet.” He said with a relieved laugh. “The other day was just a unique case. We were volunteering to help out with distributing vaccines to locals but they were understaffed so Miguel-sensei handpicked some of us to go help with the hands-on operations.”
Toge smiled at that, partly feeling proud on Yuuta’s behalf. He’d heard from Megumi, who was also in the medical course and their junior, that Yuuta was somewhat of a model student. Not only is he excelling in class but also in the actual field, on top of volunteering at clinics and programs. He signed, ‘He picked you because he knew you’d be good.’
His roommate blushed at his compliment, looking away for a moment as he struggled to find words before bashfully thanking Toge. "Thanks," He then turned to the other, “But I just have really good teachers. There’s still a lot that I don’t know.”
‘Humble as always,’ Toge smiled. Their university was close by and he felt kind of sad that their short conversation would be ending. He wishes to spend more time with Yuuta but he’ll be late at this rate. Nevertheless, he added, ‘Well, if I get sick, I’ll be relying on you.’
He meant that more as a tease and expected Yuuta to get shy or panic saying something along the lines of “No, I can’t do that!” After all, Yuuta was too humble and was easy to fluster when complimented in one way or another. But instead, his roommate had an earnest expression on his face— as if he was considering it as he nodded, “I’ll do my best then…to take care of you.”
Now, it was Toge’s turn to feel shy. He hoped his face mask covered most of it because he was suddenly aware of the burning feeling on his cheeks. He’s not sure if it’s because of Yuuta’s words or the expression on his face. But under Yuuta’s gentle yet determined gaze, Toge finds himself feeling shy. He clears his throat, hoping to change the subject but his roommate cuts him to it.
“Although rather than wait for you to get sick, I’d prefer to make sure you don’t get sick at all. I don't like seeing you hurt,” Yuuta said as if it’s the most normal thing in the world and not something that made Toge’s insides feel like mush. “So you need to take care of your health, Toge. Anyway, we’re here now.”
They were standing in front of the gates but Toge’s brain was still in the process of rebooting. It’s not healthy. Okkotsu Yuuta should be illegal. His smile, his gentleness, and caring nature should not be allowed. He’s really not good for Toge’s heart— some future doctor he is! He hoped at least that all these messy feelings weren’t obvious in his face.
“Good luck in class! I'll see you later for dinner?” Yuuta asked and Toge hurriedly nodded before turning around or else his heart might burst if he had to stare a second longer. He waved his hand goodbye, speed walking away from the school gates before he heard Panda meowing loudly and his roommate yelping, “Wait, Panda no!”
There was a bit of a scuffle behind him and Toge glanced to see Yuuta wrestling with his cat who wanted to follow after him. Cute, Toge thought. He’s lucky that he’s wearing a face mask so that no one else can see the way his lips curled into a fond smile.
Yuuta is a really good roommate.
His last class was cancelled which was an absolute blessing. Toge had spent about an hour lounging at the library with Nobara and Yuuji. Like him, Nobara’s classes were done for the day and she was just waiting for Maki’s last class to finish. Yuuji, on the other hand, still had one more lecture to attend later and was just killing time with them.
Toge spent his free time reorganizing his notes and adding extra information that he had jotted down from Nanami-sensei’s lecture. He was a strict professor but he was also dedicated to his job, which was why Toge enjoyed learning from him. It also helped that he was fair in grading and often gave him high marks.
He was rewriting some of his notes— his handwriting tends to get messy when he’s taking notes in class and he’s trying to keep up with what was being said—when Yuuji suddenly started a conversation with him. "Inumaki-senpai, what are you writing?"
At the question, Toge set his pen down and signed slowly for his friend who was still learning JSL, 'Notes.'
"Oh," was Yuuji's response. He grinned as he pointed out. "Your penmanship is so good, senpai. For a moment, I thought it was printed."
Toge didn't want to self-diagnose but he was aware that he was a bit of a perfectionist. Notetaking during lectures tends to be hectic whenever he tries to keep up with slides and the professor's fast-paced words. Because of that, his penmanship tends to get messy or they don't align properly. That is why he always has a second notebook where he can rewrite his notes to look cleaner and more organized.
It was also another way for him to review his lessons.
But that wasn't the reason why his penmanship looked good. It was just part of being an Inumaki. Perfection was always asked of him when growing up and flaws were met with punishments. He supposed it's good in helping him stay responsible, but it doesn't help the bitterness that rises like a bile in his throat. Still, it's not like he can get angry at Yuuji for reminding him of these so he simply signed, 'Thank you.'
The rest of the conversation went over his head as Nobara started talking about the latest fashion trend. Usually, Toge would be joining her or tuning into her words as this was one of the topics the two of them liked to ramble about. But he was just not in the mood so he resumed to rewriting his notes. Thankfully, the other two didn't mind and let him be.
After that was done, he parted ways with them and headed back to his shared apartment with Yuuta. He wondered what the other was doing for the rest of today. It’s not often that his sleep-deprived roommate was free for an entire day so he must’ve gotten bored—or got productive. It would be nice if Yuuta had used this time to catch up on sleep though but Toge knows that’s unlikely.
This assumption was later proven correct when Toge got home to find the place empty. Not even Panda was around so Yuuta must’ve taken him to wherever he was at the moment. Pursing his lips, the psych major was relieved in a way. Now that the exhaustion of the day has weighed on his shoulders, he’s glad to have a little alone time.
Not that having Yuuta around sucked— no, he loved the other’s company. But for a long time, Toge was somewhat of a solitary creature, and a few hours all by himself was always much appreciated. Yuuji's comment earlier may have also soured his mood, reminding him of his parents. While he was a bit more free now that he was living away from them, there was always this bitter feeling at the thought of father and mother, especially his father.
So after changing clothes, he spent some time unwinding by lazing on his bed and scrolling through YouTube for something fun to watch. He probably did that for an hour or two before boredom hit and he shifted around for something else to do. He played a few mobile games, scrolled though his social media or listened to a few songs in his playlist.
When the alarm he set on his phone rang, Toge got up and decided to start preparing for dinner. While Yuuta often made breakfast for them, Toge was the one who took care of their dinners since he rarely had classes in the later part of the day. Also, not to brag or anything but he’s quite proud of himself as a cook. When he learned that his roommate’s favorite food was cabbage with salt and sesame oil, Toge was scandalized—and irrationally personally offended.
It wasn’t obvious because of his small build but he was an absolute foodie. When he was upset, happy, or sad, celebrating with or munching food had always been his go-to activity and that was part of why he learned how to cook as well. So when he heard about Yuuta’s sorry excuse for a favorite food, Toge made it his personal mission to change that.
Now, he can proudly say that if anyone asks Yuuta for his favorite food, the answer wouldn’t be cabbage with random shit. Instead, the other’s answer would be whatever Toge wanted to cook. This was why today, Toge decided he’d be making onigiri. That was one of the first dishes he made for his roommate and it’s also one of the easiest and cheapest options.
It was also Toge's favorite and he decided that he wanted to treat himself today as well.
While he waited for the rice to cook, he prepared the other components he would need such as the tuna, mayonnaise, soy sauce, sesame, and nori. When he also checked what other ingredients they had in the fridge, he decided to make some karaage and miso soup to go along with what they’d have tonight.
In the middle of his preparations, he heard the front door open.
“I’m home!” Yuuta’s voice echoed into the space, accompanied by Panda’s meow. He peeked through the doorway of the kitchen and smiled, “Toge! What are you making? Do you need any help?”
‘Welcome back,’ Toge responded, setting down the ingredients so he could reply to Yuuta. ‘Onigiri, karaage and miso soup. And I’m fine. Just relax, I’ll call you when I’m done.’
“Are you sure? I could— “ Yuuta paused when he saw Toge shoot him a look. He laughed good-naturedly, “Alright, alright, the kitchen is your domain tonight. I’ll leave it up to you, chef.”
Panda immediately abandoned his owner in favor of rubbing himself against Toge’s legs and purring happily. Seeing this happen, Yuuta grumbled about how his cat seemed to love his roommate more than him these days, earning a laugh from Toge.
While Yuuta went away to change his clothes and freshen up, Toge busied himself with the process. Panda was always well-behaved whenever he was cooking as if he understood that his favorite human was off-limits whenever he was working with food. Eventually, Yuuta came back to pick Panda up and play with him, only to come back a few minutes later to talk with Toge
Yuuta gave him a recap of what they did for the day. First, they went to the park so Panda could get some exercise or socialize. Apparently, there was a bit of a mishap when the cat climbed high up the tree but couldn’t get down. Thankfully, it wasn’t too high that Yuuta couldn’t get him himself. After that, they had lunch and Yuuta decided to go to the gym.
‘With Panda?’ Toge signed, tilting his head in confusion. He usually worked alone in the kitchen because it was rare for his roommate to be home at this hour. But whenever they did, he didn't mind listening to Yuuta’s voice, occasionally replying or asking questions if he had one.
“Yeah!” Yuuta nodded, “Yuki-san seemed to like him a lot too.”
‘I’m surprised Panda didn’t cause any trouble,’ He replied with mirth. The last time they brought the cat somewhere that wasn’t home or the park, they had to run around chasing their little troublemaker. At the same time, Toge was stirring the miso soup before he gave it a taste.
Hm, it's a little bland. He thought to himself with a frown. But then again, Toge always preferred savory foods or strong flavors. Whereas Yuuta was on the milder side. Unable to trust his own judgment, he scooped a small portion of the soup with the ladle, walked a few steps and wordlessly offered it to Yuuta.
"Hm?" The other said, tilting his head in confusion. For a moment, he stared at the ladle and blinked rapidly, cheeks dusting pink. "Oh, do you want me to taste test for you?"
"Yeah," Toge whispered in reply since his hands were too busy to sign. He pushed the spoon closer to Yuuta's lips, his other hand under the ladle to catch any spill if there were any. Since his roommate was not making any move, Toge thought that it might be because of caution. The soup was still steaming hot after all. So, he decided to blow on the spoon and when he was satisfied that it won't burn the other's tongue, he offered it again. "Here."
Yuuta gulped, (maybe clearing his palate first?) before he hesitantly leaned forward to take a sip. He closed his eyes, analyzing the flavor before he hummed, "It's good enough for me. Although, wait, maybe add just a pinch of salt."
'Okay,' Toge signed before he did just as suggested. He continued to work on their meals when he realized that Yuuta has suddenly gotten quiet. He waited for a few minutes, maybe he just ran out of topic. But another glance at the other told Toge that Yuuta was getting antsy, shifting his feet every once in a while.
Knowing his roommate, he was probably itching to help out. It’s not often that Yuuta would be home while Toge was cooking but whenever he was, he would always be eager to offer any form of help. Bless his heart.
Finally taking pity, Toge set the ladle down and signed towards his attentive yet antsy roommate, ‘Can you stir the soup for me while I fry the karaage?’
“Sure!” Yuuta said, the rosiness of his cheeks fading away—maybe he was just feeling warm from the weather—lighting up at the prospect of helping Toge. He was dutiful in the task that he was given, so earnest that it’s hard not to feel fond of him.
But alas, before he could tap into his forbidden thoughts again, Toge busied himself in preparing for their dinner. With more hands to help, the food was finished and served in no time and the two of them happily ate together. If Toge indulged his fantasies, he’d admit that it almost felt domestic. As if they were a married couple enjoying a meal together.
Feeding into delusions was not good, however, so he let it go and diverted his attention elsewhere. Once the meal was over, they divided tasks with Yuuta washing the dishes and Toge cleaning the table and feeding Panda.
The rest of the day was uneventful as Toge went back to his room to study for a few minutes before abandoning that task in favor of watching some anime. It wasn’t anything interesting, just appearing in his recommendations so he decided to click it. But halfway through the episode, he dozed off and fell asleep hunched over his table.
The next time he woke up, it was already dark and the lights were out. His study table was already clean, notebooks piled neatly and pens placed in the pen holder. His phone was charged on his nightstand and Toge was comfortably tucked in bed instead of being hunched over the table. He was confused for a moment before he realized it was probably just Yuuta helping him. His roommate usually liked to check up on him before bedtime where they'd often exchange good night and sleep well greetings.
"You'll hurt your neck," he can almost hear him say.
He was nice. Toge really lucked out with him as he started drifting back to sleep. It’s been two years since Toge moved in with him but he was nothing but kind, caring, and considerate. He always made sure Toge’s mornings were comfortable and even checked up on him before bed because Toge tended to not take care of himself. It can’t be helped— he was just used to being alone. But being with Yuuta was…nice.
Yuuta was a really good roommate. But that’s all he will ever be— a roommate.