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The weather felt nice. It wasn’t too hot nor too cold, just the perfect temperature to be outside. Tsukasa looked around, taking in his surroundings. Strangely, he was in what seemed to be an endless field filled with white lilies and strangely, he felt like he belonged in this place unknown to him. The blond boy started walking in the field to explore it —sometimes stopping to caress the fragile petals of the flowers— when he noticed a silhouette in the distance.
The person was sitting with a flower crown on his head and a bouquet in his hands, the white lilies contrasting his dark outfit. He looked ethereal and Tsukasa felt his heart melt at the sight. How could he resist such beauty ? The longer he was staring, the more he felt a smile creep on his face and strain his warm cheeks. He had the need to be close to him.
Tsukasa picked the pace, running towards the one his heart longed for and opened his mouth to scream his name but no sounds came out. However, it seemed it didn’t matter at all as the person turned his way. The sitting beauty’s golden eyes widened in excitement, a pretty pink tinting his cheeks as well. His lips slightly parted, as though he was about to answer Tsukasa’s silent call for him. Said boy felt the urge to hurry even more : he was hypnotized, he was breathless, he was enamored by the other and was letting himself fall freely deep inside this love spell. He didn’t want anything, he didn’t need anything but the one who was smiling welcomely at him, a few meters before him.
Just a bit more, he was almost there. His feet were carrying him ahead, where his darling was prettily waiting, like always. He swore he was so close, if he simply stretched out his arm, he would surely be able to touch his sweetheart, to run his fingers through his oh so soft hair as he would lean against his touch.
Time was ticking but he wasn't fast enough and his legs and arms weren’t long enough. He couldn’t reach the object of his love. The distance between them kept on growing more and more, resulting in making Tsukasa more and more desperate. The once mesmerizing white lilies were turning into red spider-lilies while the sky darkened until the first drop of rain landed on the blond’s outreached hand. By the time the rain clouds covered the entirety of the sky, his darling had completely disappeared.
Having no more reason to rush, nor energy as his heart did everything it could to keep on beating, Tsukasa walked to where his beloved last stood. Instead of finding some clothes, a corpse or any sign of a person, there was a fragile bouquet of wilted white lilies. It was the only remaining proof of the existence of the one who held them delicately in his hands not too long ago. The rest was no more.
The heartbroken boy could only cry now, as words still failed him. He cried out of frustration, out of grief, out of betrayal, of confusion, perhaps out of loneliness : he didn't know. He hugged the bouquet close to his heart, wishing, praying for his true love to come back, for them to be reunited. He could disappear too for all he cares. He could, and would be willing to, let go of everything he had if it meant being by his darling’s side again.
Tsukasa wished and wished again, the bouquet now completely destroyed with how hard he was squeezing it. He didn’t notice the rain stopping or the wind taking away the petals that he crushed. It was irrelevant to him, everything was now that he lost the one person he vowed to protect and cherish. The storm washed out all there was to break until the only color present was the morbid flowers’ red. The strong but quiet wind took everything that he had, leaving him alone in nothingness.
His arms, so powerless, served as a mock comfort as they hugged his trembling body as tightly as they could. The blond was lost with no one coming to save him. Glancing briefly around into the void, he wondered who out of them both had truly disappeared. Finally — his eyes were not capable of shedding a single tear anymore, his legs were almost giving out and his arms were too weak to hold on to anything — finally, his lips parted a final time and aw last wish came out, disguised as a name.
“ Rui ”
✮⋆˙
Tsukasa woke up gasping, he had trouble breathing and he could feel cold sweat running down his body. His heartbeat was going alarmingly fast and he couldn’t do anything but clench his shirt, in hope of appeasing it a bit. What he saw was a nightmare. It was all his imagination, his fears playing a trick on him. That’s what he had to convince himself of ; it was better to think it didn’t mean anything.
The blond inhaled deeply and, after waiting a few seconds, he exhaled as quietly as he could. After repeating the process a few times, Tsukasa could feel himself growing calmer. Still, he felt a little gross, as if his skin was tightening around his muscles, threatening to crush everything. He tried to get up in order to, at least, wash his face before attempting to go back to sleep when he felt arms around his waist, keeping him in place
The white lily looked at what — or rather who — was trapping him and was met with the peaceful sleeping face of his husband. Rui seemed asleep, a small smile adorning his face, likely enjoying whatever dream he was having.
He was adorable. Truly endearing. Tsukasa caught himself gazing fondly at his darling, slowly stroking his soft cheek with his hand. It was incredible, really, how fast could Rui make him feel like everything was going to be alright, just by being there. He was the one person the blond could forever trust, the one person he vowed to forever go back to.
“Since when are you awake..?” said Rui with a sleepy moan. He stirred and stretched and yawned before finally opening his eyes to meet amber ones. It has always been amusing to Tsukasa how his partner couldn’t help but move for an undetermined amount of time before deeming his eyes ready to see the world.
“I just got up, nothing your cute head has to worry about.” The blond explained. He then attempted to leave the bed once more, only to be met with more resistance from his black lily. The latter looked at him with concern. If you asked Tsukasa, he would tell you it doesn’t suit his beloved at all.
“Could you please let go of me, sweetheart ? I’ll wash up as quickly as I can and cuddle with you right after. Or even better, you should go back to sleep right now. The moon doesn't seem keen on going away anytime soon.”
Despite the kiss he received on top of his hair as a plea, the other only huffed and rolled his eyes. “Oh, I wish I could go back to sleep, but how can I when your thoughts were so loud ?” Rui then stilled, before sitting on the bed as well and cupping his husband’s face ; delicate hands against wet cheeks. Tsukasa’s surprise only served to make him sigh. “You tell me not to worry, yet you didn’t even bother to wipe away those vile tears, love. Or perhaps is it that you didn’t notice their presence ?”
Ah, really, the white lily was a weak man when confronted with his other half. Still, he couldn't dare utter a single word somehow related to the horror he witnessed in his dream. He would break, he was sure of it, and it would be unacceptable to break in front of Rui. Not that Rui didn’t have his utmost trust, what a foolish idea, but because he knew his pain would be equally shared among them. Causing despair to the one he promised to protect would be a cruel torture.
However, one of Rui’s many traits was that he was observant and amazingly smart. A blessing or a curse, Tsukasa never knew. The taller one didn't need words to understand his darling, he didn’t need any sound or gesture either. It was as if he could read his mind. Or was it that he could talk to his heart ? It wouldn’t surprise the blond in the slightest.
“Nightmares are pretty terrifying, aren’t they ?” A pause. “Well, they wouldn’t be called that if they weren’t, I suppose.” Rui sputtered. Tsukasa could only laugh. No matter how great his black lily was, he always had trouble formulating what he wanted to say : he simply thought too much, too fast. “How about I tell you my dream, dear ? To make you forget yours.”
The blond’s answer came in a whisper, a small “it would be lovely”. Rui’s eyes shone, more awake than ever, and he lowered his hands so his fingers could intertwine with Tsukasa’s. The latter’s dream already seemed farther away.
“My dream was very different from what this reality is, yet it also felt the same.” The black lily began. “I was in this place where no world is forever and no limit exists. It was a really big stage. At least, it was big to me? Nobody seemed impressed by its size so I may be wrong.” Rui pondered for a moment, then remembered not to get sidetracked by a light squeeze of his hands. Right. “The stage was full of stars which danced with one another. It was truly beautiful. I was even about to ask them if I could join their fun when a melody took my breath away. It begged for my attention and who was I to deny it ? I followed the sound and it led me to you. Everything always leads me to you.” The purple haired man deposed a tender kiss on his partner’s lips, as if it wasn’t obvious that every way one took always led to the other.
“You were there and you were gorgeous. I can’t even begin to describe your appearance because every word would fail to equal your beauty. Although I know my affection for you speaks for itself.” Rui chuckled. “You were the one making the stars dance, the one animating this otherwise dull world. Isn’t that what you always do ? Maybe it wasn’t a dream but a memory after all.”
Tsukasa hummed, silently asking for more. But he was patient. His love could take all the time the world had to offer and he wouldn’t mind as long as he could hold him. His black lily took a deep breath, a smaller — but not any less gentle — smile on his face.
“What was new was the way we felt about each other. There was love, I don’t think an universe exists without me being deeply enamored with you and you reciprocating my feelings, but it felt different. I had the urge to take your hands and guide you to make the stars shine even brighter. I knew you were capable of more so I craved more. But maybe you understood me right away, because I was blinded by the show you gave me.” The purple haired man murmured the last part, obviously content with the way the scene unfolded in his head. “I felt like I should take you by the hand and make you realize the limits you believed to see weren’t real, make you understand that you could change the world if you wanted it. Isn't that the opposite of us ? But I’ll admit, I liked guiding you just as much as I like being guided by you.” Rui finished his story by a slight bow of his head, as his hands were occupied. He hoped this had comforted his dear from his gruesome dream.
“Being guided by you does sound wonderful. I wouldn’t mind trying it.” Tsukasa nodded, picturing the scene. “But as for now — that is, if you agree — there is no change needed in our relationship for it to fulfill our needs.”
Rui agreed easily. What they had now was what they wanted. Having more or having it different would be meaningless, they knew it. Furthermore, they were both grateful of the efforts one made for the other and they were always ready to be there if needed. If one of them lacked something, the other had it. That’s why Rui needed to tell his white lily his everything ; because he was the one who could see the farthest.
“Thank you, my love. I tried to keep it all to myself since I thought it would have been what was best but you proved me wrong. You're a grounding warmth to my heart. I’m truly the happiest man alive to have wedded you.”
The purple haired man let go of his beloved to cover his reddening cheeks. No matter how much Tsukasa confessed his love to him, it never stops making him feel all giddy, like he was back on being this shy kid discovering the wonders of falling in love. Rui couldn't believe his husband to be anything but his soulmate, with the way he was making his heart melt.
When said man embraced him, Rui let out a sigh. He loved intimate moments in the silence of the night, yet he knew the weight bothering his white lily didn’t entirely leave him. How could he blame him ? To say Rui would be mortified to wake up alone again when he got a taste of paradise would be an understatement, so he couldn’t even imagine what it felt like to witness his sweetheart disappear without being able to do anything, to stand there, completely powerless.
The black lily swore to show Tsukasa that the future was still bright, no matter the obstacles that may come their way, whether insignificant or challenging. He nuzzled against the other’s neck, catching his attention.
“Is something bothering you, dear ?” whispered Tsukasa. His breath right against his ear made Rui shiver and tighten his hold around the blond. It felt so good to be so close. Both lilies felt the safest when they cuddled. Everything was still alright.
“It might be dark out there but I can see the light.” said Rui before closing his eyes and leaning closer to his darling, until there was no space left between them.
The taller one was ready to fall back asleep right there when Tsukasa pushed him immediately, eyes widening and body tense. Rui was at first confused by the other’s reaction, not knowing how to react himself, when it suddenly hit him how wrongly what he said was interpretated. He panicked, internally cursing himself for not having thought about how to word it better.
“I meant ! Love, I’ll always be there for you even if death wants to do us part. Ah, that still didn’t come out right.” Rui felt himself sink deeper into his mistake. How did he achieve to ruin his efforts with one sentence ? “What I wanted to say was-”
Tsukasa quickly rendered him speechless by locking their lips in a kiss. Albeit he was taken aback, Rui melted right away, enjoying the welcoming pressure against his body and his partner’s taste.
“ I love you . More than you could ever know, more than I’ll ever be able to tell you, my dear.”
So that was it. It has always been simple after all, he didn’t need anything complex or perfect to cheer Tsukasa up. He just had to shut down his brain for a bit and let his emotions do the talking. “ I love you, Tsukasa .”
A minute passed, then two, then three. Time was long forgotten as they kept staring fondly at each other, blushing at every little kiss given and finding more comfort in actions rather than words.
“I should really go now, though. I want to be clean in the morning, I’m sweaty enough for it to bother me.” Rui only nodded and smiled before answering quietly. “You should go indeed.” Still, they made no move to stop touching the other. Noticing their own reluctance, both lilies chuckled. Tsukasa finally stood up and tucked Rui in bed with a final peck on his lips.
“Good night, my darling.”
“Good night, Tsukasa.”
And after a final look towards the one he had the opportunity to call his, the blond turned around and closed the door behind him.