Work Text:
The cold brought pain. Not a dull drum of distant whimpering but an onslaught of stabbing agony that woke Zoro out of a dead sleep. He gritted his teeth, trying to breathe through it. His fingers scrambled for purchase on the sheets below him, knuckles turning white.
Fuck.
It should have been embarrassing; the World's Greatest Swordsman defeated by an unforeseen cold snap.
Opening his eyes and forcing a breath out, Zoro shuffled himself up. His leg flared with fire, the raised scar on his thigh reminding him what would happen if he moved too much. The world spun for a minute, blurring around the edges. From beside the door, Zoro swore he heard Enma and Kitetsu laughing at him.
Pushing the pain to the back of his mind - pain was a choice, Zoro's body was his to command - Zoro forced himself to the side of the bed and put his feet on the floor. His knee tried to buckle under the pressure of standing but Zoro grabbed the railing on the wall to keep himself up. He'd have to remember to buy Adrian a round at the bar next time he made it down for putting the damn things in for free.
His swords hummed their approval as he snatched them, slipping them into their place at his side. Zoro was grateful. Every once in a while, Kitetsu would pitch a fit when Zoro slipped them into his belt on the left side of his hip instead of the right.
After seven years, the mouthy blade should have been used to it.
Yellow and orange bathed the wooden floors, warming them only slightly as Zoro hobbled toward the kitchen. The deep blues and purples of predawn faded away, leaving only the brilliant bands of warm colors to spill across the sky.
In the distance, Zoro spotted a collection of clouds floating lazily toward him. Probably another dump of snow. As though there wasn't enough snow outside already. It had to be at least knee deep, meaning Zoro wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
With any luck, Yara would make a grocery drop. Even in the shit weather, Brenley was bound to show up sooner or later. And with the overly energetic seven-year-old always came Yara.
Zoro's right leg shot another jolt of pain through him as he stepped into the kitchen. Biting down on his tongue, Zoro grabbed the counter to steady himself. His heart slammed against his chest as the flames of agony climbed through him. The steel shifted, grinding against his femur and Zoro's vision whited out for a minute.
By some miracle, he didn't collapse completely. With the uncontrollable gasps of pain moving through his lips, Zoro wasn't positive he'd be able to get himself back up again if he ended up on the floor. Using the counter and his arms to keep him up, Zoro limped his way to the stool near the stove.
"Okay," he muttered to himself, his leg grateful when he took the weight off it. "Okay. Breakfast."
He could make breakfast. Zoro could do anything. He was the World's Greatest Swordsman, goddamnit. A little bit of pain wasn't going to defeat him. He was going to act the same as he would on a day when his pain was low.
What he wouldn't give for some of Chopper's doctoring right now.
Zoro tried to shake the unwelcome thought from his head, but it lingered. Like the frigid winter outside.
Closing his eyes, Zoro pulled in a deep breath. His chest cracked, fingers reaching down to massage the scar on his thigh, hoping to calm the stabbing pains. Nostalgia dripped down his spine.
Shit. Zoro couldn't be weak. Not like this.
But he opened the cupboard to the right of the stove and pulled out The All Blue Cookbook despite himself. The Strawhat's Jolly Roger sat in the cover's background, mocking him with its bright yellow hat.
"Just some omurice," Zoro whispered to himself.
He just wanted the recipe for a warm breakfast - one of his favorites - and then he'd get rid of the book for good. Gritting his teeth, Zoro shoved himself up and made his way to the fridge. He'd always sucked at cooking, but Zoro had lived on his own long enough - both before and after the Strawhats - to be able to make food without killing himself.
But sometimes, just sometimes, Zoro wanted food that tasted good. Food that tasted like home.
The sweet smell of sizzling vegetables and soy sauce filled the kitchen. Standing in one spot was much easier than walking. He could keep all of his weight on his left foot, giving his right leg a break from his weight.
A fist pounded against his door. "Zoro-san!" Yara called. "Zoro-san!"
She sounded concerned. So Brenley was wandering through the woods again. And in this weather. A fond smile pulled at Zoro's lips. That girl was going to be someone someday. She was going to take the world by storm.
"'s open!" Zoro yelled back.
Locking his door was pointless. Zoro was more than capable of cutting down any moron that tried to rob him and on days like this - when walking felt like fighting Mihawk all over again - it was easier for Yara or Brenley or any of the other townspeople to just let themselves in.
The door clicked open.
"If you're looking for Bren, you should have checked the woods first," Zoro told her as footsteps rushed into the kitchen. "She's wilder than the wind."
"Zoro-san," Yara whispered.
A shiver raced up his spine. Zoro froze, allowing his observation haki to surge just as another voice cheered from the kitchen doorway.
"Meat! It smells so good!"
Zoro spun, barely remembering to use the counter to keep his leg from buckling. Luffy bounced on his feet, a grin on his face.
Luffy stood in Zoro's kitchen.
For the first time in years , Zoro stared at Strawhat Luffy.
And he was way younger than thirty-four.
The boy standing in his kitchen couldn't have been much older than nineteen. The scar Akainu left him was on display for all to see, his long-sleeved vest open. Zoro racked his brain, trying to remember when Luffy had worn that outfit but it was hard. Luffy had always had a habit of wearing the same clothes for weeks - sometimes months - on end.
Not that Zoro had ever been one to talk.
"Zoro!" Luffy grinned, bounding over to him. "You got old ."
"I - You - I'm thirty-six!" Zoro sputtered.
Luffy laughed. Like a religious man at the choir, Zoro was left speechless at the sound. High and wild and free . It was beautiful. A sound that warmed him from the inside out.
How long had it been since he heard it?
"One of the merchants pulled him out of the sea," Yara said hesitantly, her gaze unsure. "He said he was looking for you. He said - he said he's Strawhat Luffy."
"I am," Luffy chirped, turning to face her. "And I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"
You already are , Zoro didn't say. Because he wouldn't want to know. Luffy hated the idea of a boring adventure. He always had.
Luffy turned back to Zoro, suddenly all too close as he looked around Zoro to see the stove. The heat overwhelmed him, an untamable paradox of everything he wanted and everything he was afraid of, all at once. Zoro leaned back.
Steel ground against bone and Zoro’s knee buckled in protest. Luffy jolted in surprise as Zoro's hand slammed against the counter in an attempt to steady himself.
"You should sit, Zoro-san." Yara made it to his side in an instant, her hands hovering but not touching as Zoro straightened himself. "I'll finish this."
"You don't need to cook my breakfast," Zoro grumbled.
"No," she agreed. "I don't need to. Go sit, please."
Luffy cocked his head to the side, question in his eye as Zoro sighed in defeat. Yara wasn't one to argue with. Despite her soft voice and sweet demeanor, the woman was as tenacious as Nami when she wanted to be.
"This recipe?" Yara asked with a frown, gesturing to the open cookbook.
Zoro nodded as he lowered himself into a chair. Luffy all but skipped over to join him, choosing to sit on Zoro's kitchen table instead of the opposite chair.
"You might want to triple the recipe," Zoro told her, stretching his leg out. "He eats like an army."
Yara hummed, ducking into the fridge. "I'll have to bring you groceries soon."
"Don't fret over me. I'll make my way into town later this week."
"In this snow?" Yara frowned at him again. "Make me a list and I'll get you stocked up."
"Troublesome woman," Zoro muttered before finally turning to look at Luffy again.
The future King of the Pirates stared back at him, dark eyes scanning Zoro, looking for an answer for an unspoken question.
"What island?" Zoro asked.
"Where's Wado?" Luffy asked at the same time.
Zoro tore his gaze away from Luffy's, his fist tightening on the counter. "Dead." His voice was rougher than he wanted it to be. After seven years, it shouldn't be difficult to think about the damn sword. But it was. It stung, like the steel in his femur twisted itself in protest and anger.
"Oh." Luffy's voice was unusually quiet. Zoro rarely heard that voice, even when he traveled with the Strawhats. It was a voice reserved for Chopper or Nami. Vivi and sometimes Sanji. But never Zoro.
"What island?" Zoro asked again.
"Fishman," Luffy said, the remorse leaving his voice. It was instantly replaced with excitement and pride. "We kicked Hordy's ass. Everybody got so strong, Zoro! I'm so proud of them!"
Right. Luffy came back from their years apart all too ready to praise his crew. Every time they did the smallest thing, he would tell them how strong they were or how much he trusted them. The lingering memory of pride at the words twinged at Zoro's chest.
"Zoro's so strong! He cut Kaido!"
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
The cook's voice morphed with Luffy's, swirling in Zoro's head. His leg twitched.
"How'd you get here?" Zoro asked, shaking the thoughts from his head. "We never lost you after Fishman Island."
Luffy let out a dramatic sigh. "Well, we were heading toward an island to get more supplies - cause Sanji said I ate all the food. Which, I didn't eat all of it, Zoro. You helped. And you drank all the booze, but Sanji said its all my fault. And then a bunch of bounty hunters showed up. And one of 'em had a Devil Fruit and he opened up this big hole in the Sunny n' I fell in. Then I was here. These really nice people pulled me outta the ocean and I told them I needed to find my nakama. N' when I said your name, they said that you lived here. Oh. Where are we?"
"Samishī Island. It's in the Grand Line."
Luffy nodded. "Is the food ready yet?"
"In a minute," Yara said, glancing at them over her shoulder. "So, what do you plan on doing, Strawhat?"
"Eating."
Zoro barely bit back a snort. Of course the idiot's first thought was food.
Yara frowned. "That's not what I meant. I meant, how are you going to go back to where you belong?"
"Oh, I dunno."
Zoro often forgot that not everyone spent a good chunk of their lives learning how Luffy's brain worked. In the Strawhat captain's eyes, everything would work out. His crew would find him and panicking was pointless. This was an adventure.
To a rational person, that probably seemed a little insane.
And Yara was a very rational person.
"You don't know?" she echoed in horror before her gaze shot to Zoro.
Zoro shrugged. "He's always been this way."
Luffy beamed.
Yara turned back to Luffy, her brow furrowed. "Don't you want to go home?"
"I will. My nakama will find me. Zoro always finds me."
Yara's brow furrowed in confusion as she glanced toward Zoro. She knew who he was. It was hard not to know a man with a five and a half billon beli bounty. But in all his years on the island, none of the Strawhats had ever made their way to him.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
"And if your crew can't find you?" Yara asked.
"Robin will know what to do. I'll just wait here for her."
"Robin?"
Zoro's gaze snapped to Luffy again. Shit. He should have known Luffy would rely on the crew in this time to help him. No matter where he was, Luffy knew he could count on his crew.
It was why he found Zoro after all.
Except...
"She's my archeologist." Luffy grinned easily. "She's the smartest person ever . She'll know what to do. I'll ask her when she comes to see Zoro."
"Luffy," Zoro muttered.
His chest tightened. How was he supposed to explain it to this Luffy? How could he look in man he loved more than anything in the world in the eyes and tell him he failed?
"Robin won't come here," Zoro admitted once Luffy turned back to him.
"Of course she will." Luffy looked at him like he'd grown another head.
"No." Zoro shook his head. "No, she won't. She doesn't know I'm here, Luffy. No one does."
The room turned colder than the winter wind. Luffy's frown burned into Zoro like the steel in his leg. His dark eyes search Zoro, trying to read him like the open book he once was. Looking for any sign that Zoro was lying. But Luffy had to know that Zoro would never lie to him.
After a long moment, Luffy nodded. His eyes flashed and a grinned filled his face.
Oh, shit.
"Okay! We'll go find Robin then."
"I don't know where she is, Luffy."
And even if he did, Robin wouldn't want to see him. She's probably go the other way as quickly as she could.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
"That's why we're gonna find her. Duh."
The stove clicked off as Yara cut the gas. Luffy spun to her with a grin as she brought a plate to him.
"Oooh, yummy!"
"Thanks, Yara," Zoro muttered.
"Of course. I'm going to find Brenley. Do you want us to bring you groceries today?"
With Luffy in the house, probably. But it was freezing. And as long as it was warmer tomorrow, Zoro would be able to make his way into town himself. Even if the knee deep snow would be hell on his leg.
"No. We'll be fine."
Yara nodded. "If you're sure."
"Zoro doesn't need groceries here," Luffy said around the food in his mouth. If the cook could see the bits of food spilling out of Luffy's mouth, in front of a woman, no less, he'd have a fit. "We're gonna leave tomorrow."
"Leave?" Yara laughed. "You're going to get Zoro to leave the island."
"Duh."
No way in hell. There was nothing appealing about sitting on a small, smelly ass boat getting lost in the sea. And Zoro had nowhere to go.
Sensei had passed years ago. Mihawk and Perona came and went as they pleased. If they wanted to see him, they would. The crew wanted nothing to do with him. And anyone who wanted to challenge him could put the fucking work in to find him.
Zoro hadn't left the island in seven years. Not since...
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
"Strawhat," Yara said, face straight and voice serious. "If you can get Zoro to leave this island, I'll give you every beli in the bar."
"Oh?" Luffy looked thoughtful. "Nami would like it if I came back with money. Neh, Zoro. We're gonna go find Robin tomorrow."
It used to be that easy. Luffy used to say "jump" and Zoro didn't even ask "how high". He just jumped. But those times passed a long time ago.
"No."
Luffy looked gob smacked.
Yara laughed, patting Luffy's shoulder. "Good luck, Strawhat."
Luffy waited until Yara left to turn back to Zoro, his eyes narrowing. "You feel like Zoro."
Checking him with haki then. It made sense. Where Luffy came from, Zoro would never say no to his captain. He would have done anything - everything - for Luffy.
Those days had past.
"I am Zoro."
Luffy's jaw set. He shook his head. "No, you're not."
The words stung more than they should have, cutting into Zoro's chest like Mihawk's blade. Maybe it was the truth in them that hurt the most. Zoro wasn't who he used to be; the strong and unstoppable beast of a man. The King of Hell.
It made sense that Luffy didn't think Zoro was who he was. Zoro didn't know who he was anymore.
It must have shown in his face because Luffy's gaze softened slightly.
"Come out to sea with me."
"No."
"Captain's orders."
Gritting his teeth, Zoro shoved away the pain in his leg and stood. He took Luffy's empty plate and stacked it on top of his own, half eaten one.
"You're not my captain anymore, Luffy," Zoro told him softly. "You haven't been in years."
Rage consumed Luffy's face. "Don't lie."
"Not to you." Captain or not, Zoro could never lie to Luffy. "Never to you."
It happened like this - Zoro missed the cook's wedding. And everyone hated him for it.
Luffy vanished as Zoro started the dishes. He didn't leave the house, Zoro could feel him sitting on the roof, but he needed to be alone. Zoro understood that. Even after seven years, reading Luffy was easy. He was angry and confused.
Zoro wouldn't tell him why Luffy was no longer his captain, not that Luffy asked. Zoro wasn't worth having a boring adventure for. He never had been.
His leg ached with boredom. It always did when he sat too still. Or when it was too cold. Or when Zoro slept on it wrong. Or when Zoro breathed.
The damn limb hurt all the time. Changing into a pair of loose shorts and lowering himself onto the couch, Zoro dug his fingers into the scar tissue and grimaced. Doc swore that massaging the tissue when it got too painful would help, but Zoro was pretty positive it was all a load of shit.
A dull ache remained as he pulled out Kitetsu and Enma, carefully cleaning them. Kitetsu whined, demanding blood. Demanding excitement. Zoro ignored the blade. Like he had for years.
Floor boards creaked. Zoro looked up from his swords to find Luffy standing in the doorway. His eyes were red with tears, his face full of guilt, confusion, and remorse. Zoro's heart ached for him.
"I promised," Luffy whispered. "That I was never gonna lose anybody again."
I promised to be yours, until you didn't want me anymore, Zoro didn't say. Couldn't say.
"I didn't die," Zoro said instead.
Luffy stared at him, gaze reaching the depths of his soul. "Zoro's not happy."
How could I be?
Zoro shrugged. "It's fine here. People are good. Booze isn't bad."
Luffy shook his head. "Zoro doesn't belong here."
Zoro doesn't belong anywhere.
"You're a pirate." Luffy stepped into the room.
"I'm not. I'm a swordsman. I don't need to go to sea for that."
"Mihawk did."
"Mihawk was bored."
"Zoro's bored."
"Nope."
Luffy's eyebrows narrowed, his gaze falling to Zoro's blades. "Kitetsu is."
"Kitetsu's a brat," Zoro said, because he couldn't deny that Luffy was right.
Kitetsu was bored. Enma was bored.
Zoro was bored.
Luffy glared at him.
"Look, Luffy." Zoro pushed himself up, forcing his leg to behave itself and not buckle. "I know a man in the village. He'll get you a boat. You can head out tomorrow to find Robin."
"I'm not leaving without Zoro."
"Then you aren't leaving."
It happened like this - Zoro's boat capsized near a small island. So, Zoro missed the cook's wedding. And everyone hated him for it.
The thing Zoro forgot about Luffy was how fucking determined the bastard was. For the rest of the day, Luffy stalked him from one side of the house to the other. He said nothing, just stared. As though he thought that just looking at Zoro could break his resolve.
It couldn't. It wouldn't.
Luffy took the time to inspect every room he followed Zoro into, ducking in to closets and looking under the bed. In a one bedroom shack, it shouldn't have taken him all that long.
"What are these?" Luffy asked, pulling on the railings Adrian had installed all over the house.
They were sturdy. Adrian assured him that he'd attached the railing to every stud in the house, meaning that they could be able to take Zoro's full weight without coming out of the wall. Luffy's eyes lit up when he realized how attached to the wall they really were. He pulled on them, arms stretching as he spun himself in every direction, laughing like a maniac.
Zoro hated the sound as much as he loved it. Luffy's laugh warmed every inch of him, melting an ice he hadn't even realized was there. But that meant he was only going to miss it when it was gone. Like tearing open a scar he thought had long since healed.
"These are fun!" Luffy announced, falling onto the floor. "Do you use 'em to hang stuff?"
"Something like that."
Luffy nodded, lying flat on his back and staring up at the ceiling. "Neh, Zoro?"
"Mmm."
"You stopped smiling."
"Eh?"
"When we came back to Sabaody. Zoro didn't smile anymore. Not like he used to."
Zoro shrugged. "I didn't notice."
He hadn't. Looking back, Zoro knew some part of him died on Sabaody. Some part of him died on Thriller Bark. When he realized that the world was so much bigger than he thought. Bigger than even Mihawk. That he wasn't strong enough to protect the only people who had ever mattered to him.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
It wasn't the two years away that killed Zoro's smile. It wasn't training with Mihawk. It wasn't wondering if his crew was okay without him.
It was Thriller Bark. It was facing down Kuma and knowing that the only thing he could do for his crew was die.
So Zoro died for them.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
Zoro killed his smile and never looked back.
"Is that why?"
The question pulled Zoro out of his spiraling thoughts, chasing away the cook's angry shouts.
"What?"
Luffy rolled over to look at him, his eyes full of something Zoro had never associated with the future King of the Pirates. Fear. "Is that why I'm not your captain anymore?"
Zoro let out a sigh. "No, Luffy."
"Then why?"
"I thought you didn't want a boring adventure."
"There is no adventure without you!"
The shout took Zoro off guard. Passion filled every word, the exact opposite of the last time Zoro had seen Luffy, staring at him in stoney silence as the cook screamed at him.
"I don't wanna have an adventure without you," Luffy whispered, his eyes filling with tears.
What did I do? Zoro wondered. For this passion to fade to quiet indifference, Zoro had to have done something wrong.
"Luffy." Zoro shifted on his feet. A mistake. His right leg protested immediately, half buckling under his weight. He caught himself on one of the railings, hoping it was subtle enough for Luffy not to catch it.
"I wanna go home," Luffy whispered. "I wanna go home and I wanna fix it."
Why? Why did Luffy want to stop this from happening so badly? Zoro wasn't worth that.
"I wanna go home, Zoro."
Oh no. Zoro could feel it cracking. He could feel his will dissolving, slipping through his fingers.
"Alright, Sencho," Zoro whispered. "Let's get you home."
It happened like this - Zoro's boat capsized in a storm and a nice old man saved him. Zoro missed Sanji's wedding, showing up in a bloody, ruined suit. And everyone hated him for it.
"Zoro!" Brenley's shout cut through the village as she raced toward them. Her sword dragged on the ground behind her, showing her path from her house to him.
"Hiya, squirt," Zoro greeted, resting his arm against Kitetsu and Enma's hilts as he looked down at her.
Wild as the wind. Zoro had found himself calling Brenley that since the day he'd met her. The little girl was all spunk and attitude. It reminded him of Kuina. A passionate glint and a need to prove herself.
"Fight me!" Brenley ordered.
From Zoro's side, Luffy cocked his head at her, though Zoro detected the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.
Zoro scoffed, shaking his head. "Not a chance."
She stomped her foot. "You gotta! I'm challenging you!"
"You couldn't challenge a fly, squirt."
Brenley pouted briefly until her eyes found the bag slung over Zoro's shoulder. "What's that?" she demanded.
"A pack."
"What's it for?"
"Supplies."
"You're not supposed to put your supplies in a bag. Yara says it's bad for your leg. You're supposed to use the cart."
Zoro rolled his eyes, ruffling her hair. "Guess it's a good thing the pack isn't for groceries then. Is Adrian at the docks?"
Brenley nodded, slipping her hand into his. "I'll bring you. You'll get lost on your own."
"Oi."
Brenley's eyes found Luffy. "Who's he?"
"A friend."
"You have friends?"
"Haha."
Brenley frowned up at Luffy suspiciously. "Who are you?"
"I'm Monkey D. Luffy! I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"
The declaration rang around them. A few heads turned in their direction. Zoro waved off Norma and Everett when he caught their eye, assuring them it was nothing to worry about.
"He's weird," Brenley said, looking up at Zoro.
"You have no idea."
Shrugging, she turned and pulled hard on Zoro's arm. He stumbled slightly at the sudden movement, his leg protesting at the sharp jerk.
"Oi, oi," he protested, staggering onto his left leg to relief the dull drum of pain inching up his right thigh. "Easy, squirt."
"Sorry."
Not sounding very sorry at all, Brenley adjusted her pace and led them toward the docks. Adrian was yelling at one of his employees, waving his hands around and shoving a finger in a direction of a half destroyed boat.
"Adrian!" Brenley called. "Zoro wants you!"
The shipwright paused to let out a sharp hiss of "son of a bitch". Running his fingers through his long red hair, Adrian poked his employee in the chest. "If he broke something you're fixing it. The rest of you get to work!"
Zoro raised an eyebrow as Adrian stormed toward him. It wasn't often that he saw the man ruffled. The employee he'd been yelling at - one of the young men Zoro had thrown out of the bar for giving Yara a hard time - looked like he would rather jump off a bridge than approach Zoro.
"What'd you break this time?" the shipwright asked in lieu of a greeting.
"What makes you think I broke something?" Zoro demanded.
"You always break something. It wasn't a railing was it? Shit, it was, wasn't it? Goddamnit, Zoro. Those are made of reinforced steel. You can't weigh that much."
"Oi!"
Brenley cackled.
"Shut it, squirt. I didn't break anything, 'drian. I need a boat."
Adrian's mouth snapped shut. Eyes wide, he stared at Zoro, blinking twice. "A what?"
"A boat."
Adrian's eyes jumped to Luffy and then back to Zoro. "Is this a hostage situation? He looks like you could take him, Ro."
Zoro rolled his eye. "I'm not a hostage," he snapped. "I just need a boat."
"Bren, go get Yara. I think Zoro's sick."
"I'm not sick . Bren, don't bother Yara. I just need a boat."
"You're serious?" Adrian asked. "You, Roronoa Zoro, want a boat. To leave the island."
"It's not that difficult to understand."
"It's been seven fucking years, Zoro. You never leave."
"Are you going to get me a boat or not?"
It happened like this - Zoro's boat capsized in a storm and a nice old man saved him from drowning. The man brought Zoro to his house and gave him medical attention. Zoro missed Sanji's wedding, showing up in a bloody, ruined suit. And everyone hated him for it.
Zoro didn't realize how much he missed the sea. The smell of salt water filled his lungs. It was like breathing for the first time. Sunshine warmed him like he hadn't been warmed in years. And Luffy's laughter floated like music. Happy. Magical.
They headed for Alabasta. Zoro didn't know where to find Robin, but he knew how to find Nami. Yara handed over an eternal pose and a wad of cash before they left. Brenley cried and made Zoro promise to come back soon.
She still had to beat him and become the World's Greatest Swordsman.
"So you better not lose to anyone else while you're gone!" she ordered.
"I won't squirt. I promise."
The boat was small. His leg cramped on and off, but Luffy made no comment when Zoro stretched his leg out and massaged the scar the best he could.
An easy atmosphere surrounded Zoro. Light and breathable. And free . It reminded Zoro of the East Blue. Of almost two decades ago, when it was just him and Luffy on a shitty little puddle jumper and nowhere to go.
"Look," Luffy said, jabbing a finger up at the sky. "That cloud looks like meat!"
"Every cloud looks like meat to you." Zoro rolled his eye but laid down beside Luffy to look up at the sky.
It happened like this - Zoro's boat capsized in a bad storm. An old man in a passing fishing boat saved him from drowning and brought him back to the village. He snuck Zoro in under the cover of darkness to treat his injuries and promised to help him find a new boat. But Zoro missed Sanji's wedding, showing up hours later in a bloody, ruined suit, missing Wado - his treasure. And everyone hated him for it.
Zoro laughed for the first time in seven years. Brenley had made his chuckle, Yara had earned his smiles. But Zoro hadn't laughed since the last time he was on Sunny. It started deep in his stomach and rolled up through his throat, bursting out of his mouth so suddenly that it startled him.
Luffy, trying to wrestle a sea bird into submission, paused to stare at him. And then he grinned. The bird slipped through his fingers, but Luffy didn't seem to care. Zoro didn't care either.
For the first time in seven years, Zoro felt like he was home.
It happened like this - Zoro's boat capsized in a bad storm. An old man in a passing fishing boat saved him from drowning and brought him back to the village. He snuck Zoro in under the cover of darkness to treat his injuries and promised to help him find a new boat. Then the bounty hunter found out that Zoro was in the village. Zoro was halfway out to sea when fire erupted in the village, the village that saved him. So Zoro turned around to save the village.
So, Zoro missed Sanji's wedding, showing up hours later in a bloody, ruined suit, missing Wado - his treasure. And everyone hated him for it.
"Sunny!" Luffy's shout pulled Zoro out of his slumber. Their small boat rocked dangerously. "Sunny! Look Zoro, it's Sunny!"
Zoro's stomach clenched. In the port of Nanohana, the Thousand Sunny sat in plain view. She looked beautiful. Zoro hadn't seen the ship - his home, the Sunny was supposed to be his home - in so long. Nami's makin trees rustled in the wind, the Strawhat Jolly Roger fluttering from side to side.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
The cook's words echo in his head, ricocheting from one side of his skull to the other.
No one had argued with him.
Not even Luffy.
A liability.
The two weeks with a Luffy from the past - a Luffy that hadn't realized how useless Zoro was yet - had brought him a false sense of ease. He let himself fall back into a better time. A time when he was worth something. A time when Luffy cared about him.
That was the magic of Luffy. He had a way of making people feel important, like they weren't monsters. Like they weren't liabilities. Even if it was all a lie.
"The World's Greatest Swordsman. The King of Hell," a voice whispered, slithering up his spine, "defeated by me. What will Strawhat think of you now , Roronoa? Nothing but a bounty to be dragged in to the Marines."
Zoro felt Wado's blade shatter. He felt the white hot pieces of steel driving themselves into his leg until they hit bone.
Agony coursed through him and his hand shot down to clutch his thigh. His vision blurred. It wasn't cold. Alabasta was a desert kingdom. It shouldn't hurt this badly.
"Zoro?" Luffy asked, suddenly sounding panicked. "What happened? What's wrong?"
Zoro shook his head, blinking to try and clear his vision. It was in his mind. It had to be in his mind. "'ll pass," he grunted out.
He just had to be in control. Zoro controlled his pain. It didn't control him. Forcing a breath out between his teeth, Zoro looked up at Luffy. He looked so young under the Alabasta sun. His black hair was stringy with sweat and his brown eyes were wide with concern.
Zoro's Luffy didn't look this young. Not anymore. He wondered how much Luffy had changed. Had the use of his Devil Fruit caught up to him? Would Zoro recognize him if he ever saw him again?
Would Luffy recognize Zoro?
His green hair might have been a giveaway, but sometimes - on the rare occasions he got the courage to - Zoro would look in the mirror and not recognize himself.
Nineteen. This was how Zoro remembered Luffy. Nineteen. Not the King of the Pirates. Not the silent presence in the background as his nakama rejected him. Zoro remembered the laughing nineteen-year-old who laid with him on the deck. Zoro remembered the seventeen-year-old who cut him down from a cross. The man who freed him. The man who believed in him.
Zoro always wanted Luffy to be nineteen.
Strong, calloused fingers shoved his hands away, kneading into his skin. Zoro couldn't bite down the hiss of pain, leaning his head back and squeezing his eyes closed. White hot pain prickled under his skin, rushing from his thigh up to his neck until it turned into a buzzing in his ears.
It happened like this - Zoro's boat capsized in a bad storm. An old man in a passing fishing boat - Yasha- saved him from drowning and brought him back to the village. He snuck Zoro into the village under the cover of darkness, ushering him into the house. The man's daughter - Yara - immediately tended to his wounds.
"You're going somewhere important?" she asked him, looking at his waterlogged suit.
Zoro nodded. "A wedding." He winced as she dabbed at the cut on his brow. "My nakama is getting married. I'm supposed to be in the wedding."
"It'll be with a bruised face."
Zoro shrugged. "He won't give a shit. Bastard probably won't even notice I'm not there."
Yara giggled. "If he wants you in the wedding, I'm sure he'd notice."
Zoro's lips pulled up in a smile. "Yeah," he agreed. "Don't suppose you know where I can get a boat."
"Adrian. He's a shipwright down at the docks. He's up by dawn."
"Great. Just point me in the right direction."
Yara looked hesitant. "You should let Papa go down and talk to Adrian."
"Why? Your shipwright doesn't do business with people outside the island."
She lowered the cloth and bit her lip. The hesitancy was clear on her face. Zoro didn't push her. He wasn't one to ask about shit. But she told him anyway.
A bounty hunter that ruled the island. Kurogane, Yara told him, was after wealth and nothing more. They paid tribute to him every month. Tribute for him to protect them from pirates.
Tribute for him to spare their lives.
Zoro's fist clenched. Arlong. Staring into her watery green eyes, Zoro could only think of Nami and Arlong.
"I'll come back," he promised Yara and Yasha, standing in front of the boat they secured him. "I'll bring my crew."
"Your crew?" Yasha echoed.
Zoro nodded, realizing for the first time he'd never thought to tell the man his name. "I'm Roronoa Zoro," he said. "And this island will be under Strawhat Luffy's protection."
Zoro was halfway out to sea when fire erupted in the village. The village that was just like Nami's.
So, Zoro missed Sanji's wedding, showing up hours later in a bloody, ruined suit, missing Wado - his treasure - and with a permanent limp that no one even seemed to notice. And everyone hated him for it.
" Luffy! "
It was strange to hear his own voice. But Zoro recognized it. Luffy's name rang out from the Sunny's deck, echoing in the ocean air around them. Leaning back against the seat of the boat once the spasms in his leg calmed, Zoro squinted up at the ship.
Ten figures were on the deck. One of them stood on the railing, hand wrapped around the hilt of a white sword.
Of course. It only made sense. When Zoro was twenty-one and Luffy was nineteen, Zoro would have followed Luffy anywhere. If Luffy fell into a weird ass Devil Fruit portal, Zoro was leaping in after him.
Luffy leapt up. "Zo-Ro! Yahoo! Zoro!"
Happiness that Zoro hadn't heard directed at him in years. He burned with jealousy.
The boat rocked dangerously, sea water slopping up over the sides. Luffy teetered on the edge of falling in. Zoro's leg hated him. He shot forward, grabbing the back of Luffy's vest and yanking him away from the edge.
They fell backward, safely onto the boat, Luffy on top of Zoro.
"Oh," Luffy said, quickly rolling off of Zoro. "Oops! Zoro's leg's okay?"
His hands hover over Zoro's thigh, eyes wide and desperate.
"I'm alright, Luffy," Zoro assured him, ignoring the twinges of pain. "Let's get you to the ship, alright? Your swordsman's waiting for you."
Luffy stared at him with a look that he couldn't read. Zoro adjusted himself, looking around the ship.
"Will you grab my bag?" he asked. "Yara should have put a pose to get me back."
"You're not gonna stay?" Luffy whispered, his voice so weak and hurt that it bordered on a whimper.
Zoro's brow furrowed. "Stay?" he echoed. "Your swordsman's right there. You don't need me."
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
Luffy's eyes swam with tears. "I'm always gonna need you, Zoro."
Give it a few years, Zoro didn't say.
"Stay," Luffy said. "Captain's orders."
Zoro reached out to ruffle Luffy's hair. "You're not my captain anymore, Luffy."
It happened like this - Zoro's boat capsized in a bad storm. An old man in a passing fishing boat - Yasha- saved him from drowning and brought him back to the village. He snuck Zoro into the village under the cover of darkness, ushering him into the house. The man's daughter - Yara - immediately tended to his wounds.
"You're going somewhere important?" she asked him, looking at his waterlogged suit.
Zoro nodded. "A wedding." He winced as she dabbed at the cut on his brow. "My nakama is getting married. I'm supposed to be in the wedding."
"It'll be with a bruised face."
Zoro shrugged. "He won't give a shit. Bastard probably won't even notice I'm not there."
Yara giggled. "If he wants you in the wedding, I'm sure he'd notice."
Zoro's lips pulled up in a smile. "Yeah," he agreed. "Don't suppose you know where I can get a boat."
"Adrian. He's a shipwright down at the docks. He's up by dawn."
"Great. Just point me in the right direction."
Yara looked hesitant. "You should let Papa go down and talk to Adrian."
"Why? Your shipwright doesn't do business with people outside the island."
She lowered the cloth and bit her lip. The hesitancy was clear on her face. Zoro didn't push her. He wasn't one to ask about shit. But she told him anyway.
A bounty hunter that ruled the island. Kurogane, Yara told him, was after wealth and nothing more. They paid tribute to him every month. Tribute for him to protect them from pirates.
Tribute for him to spare their lives.
Zoro's fist clenched. Arlong. Staring into her watery green eyes, Zoro could only think of Nami and Arlong.
"I'll come back," he promised Yara and Yasha, standing in front of the boat they secured him. "I'll bring my crew."
"Your crew?" Yasha echoed.
Zoro nodded, realizing for the first time he'd never thought to tell the man his name. "I'm Roronoa Zoro," he said. "And this island will be under Strawhat Luffy's protection."
Zoro was halfway out to sea when fire erupted in the village. The village that was just like Nami's. He turned around without a second thought.
Villagers rushed around, some trying to throw water on the fire, some trying to tend to the injured, and some just running for their lives. Zoro moved in the opposite direction.
It was a flash that he struggled to remember. Yara saw him first, shouting for him to turn around. For him to leave. The way Nami had.
Zoro ignored her.
The man - Kurogane - turned to face him as well. A smirk lit up his arrogant face. Zoro pulled Wado for her scabbard as he went. Some small fry that he'd never heard of before wouldn't need more than one sword.
It was a whirl of movement. One minute there was nothing in the man's hand and then there was a steel pipe. He blocked Wado's swipe with relative ease. Zoro's blade trembled in his hand.
"The Demon of the East Blue himself," Kurogane laughed. "I've been wanting to meet you, Pirate Hunter."
"Hope it's worth your death," Zoro snarled.
Things got blurry from there. Zoro remembered blocking attacks, ducking under objects that flung toward him out of nowhere. A Devil Fruit.
"The Hagane Hagane no Mi," Kurogane told him. "I've only shown you a fraction of what it can do. Would you like to see more, Pirate Hunter?"
"A challenge would be nice," Zoro scoffed.
Wado shattered. With the snap of his fingers, Zoro most precious treasure burst into pieces. A white hot burning filled Zoro's thigh before he could full comprehend what was happening. Wado's bladeless hilt dropped from his fingers. Zoro's leg buckled, blood pouring from the dozens of pieces of steel - pieces of Wado - embedded in his leg.
"The World's Greatest Swordsman. The King of Hell," Kurogane laughed, "defeated by me. What will Strawhat think of you now, Roronoa? Nothing but a bounty to be dragged into the Marines."
Defeated? No, Zoro wasn't defeated.
He wasn't dead.
And if he wasn't dead, he wasn't defeated.
Gritting his teeth, Zoro found Enma's hilt. Flames licked his vision as he swept the black blade toward the bounty hunter. Vaguely, he heard Kurogane scream. It was hard to hear anything over the buzzing in his ears.
But the man fled. Before Zoro passed out, Kurogane left the island. And never came back.
So, Zoro missed Sanji's wedding, showing up hours later in a bloody, ruined suit, with the ruined remainder of his treasure stuck in his leg. And everyone hated him for it.
The entire Strawhat crew stared down at them as Zoro brought their little puddle jumper to a stop beside the Sunny. Against the bright Alabasta sun, it was impossible to see any of them. Not that Zoro wanted to look at them anyway. He turned his attention to the nineteen-year-old version of Luffy in front of him.
"Go on," he told the kid.
Luffy glared at him.
"Luffy," Zoro sighed. "I have a long trip back," - by myself - "so head up, alright?"
"Sencho?" Zoro's voice called from above.
Zoro could sense his younger self getting ready to jump down into the boat. Ready to ensure his captain was safe.
"No!" Luffy shouted, angry and demanding.
Zoro sighed. He felt his younger self freeze. None of the Strawhats above moved either.
"No," Luffy said, softer this time. "Zoro's coming up."
"Luffy." Zoro tried not to moan. "This boat is small. My leg is cramping up. Can't you-"
"Then come up."
"Luffy."
The captain's brown eyes flashed dangerously. Zoro knew that look. He readied himself to wriggle loose of the rubber limbs he knew were going to wrap around him any second, throwing him onto the Sunny.
A weight crashed into the boat. Water sloshed around them, flying into the air and catching the sun like a million diamonds had been launched from the sea. A yellow hat and a red ribbon filled Zoro's vision and his stomach dropped.
The Pirate King stood in the middle of his boat, hand resting on the Strawhat his crew was named for. Younger Luffy's head snapped around to look at him, gaze dark and angry. But the Pirate King ignored them both, fastening ropes to either end of Zoro's boat.
"Yosh!" he called up.
The ropes moved. The boat lifted. Bringing them up toward the Sunny.
"Oi!" Zoro bit out in protest.
The Pirate King looked at him, eyes sharp and unreadable. Angry, Zoro thought.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
His voice died in his throat and he looked away.
"Sencho?" Zoro's younger self said once the boat reached Sunny's deck. "Oi, Luffy. Are you - oof!"
Glancing up, Zoro watched Younger Luffy launch himself into Younger Zoro's chest. The two stumbled backward, but Younger Zoro's legs were steady. He held them both up.
"Get out," the Pirate King ordered.
Standing was agony, but Zoro knew better than to disobey the King. Sunny's deck was bright green. The sweet smell of tangerines filled her air. Zoro tried not to breathe it in. He tried not to let himself get used to it.
He'd only miss it when it was gone.
It happened like this - Zoro saved the village that rescued him and lost his most prized possession. But he still had to make it to his nakama's wedding. Because the shitty love cook was a romantic bastard and this mattered to him more than anything else in the world.
So, Zoro stumbled in, bloody and beaten, hours after the ceremony, but still in time for the reception. And his nakama hated him for it.
"You bastard ," the cook snarled, shoving Zoro out the door and onto the deck.
The bits of Wado in his leg shifted against his bone and Zoro fought not to try out. The rest of the crew burst through the door after them and Zoro was vaguely aware of Sanji's new bride calling out for him not to start a scene.
"You absolute bastard!"
A dress shoe flew at his face. Zoro barely dodged it.
"Sanji-kun!" Nami shouted. "Stop! It's your wedding, you-"
"My wedding!" Another kick that Zoro scrambled to dodge. "My fucking wedding. You missed my wedding. For a fight !"
"I didn't do it on purpose," Zoro argued.
"Of course you didn't! You just didn't think, right? Right ?"
Zoro grasped for Wado on instinct. His hand met air. The cook's foot collided with his chest. Wood snapped behind him as he slammed into it.
"Sanji! Stop! Zoro's hurt."
Chopper, Zoro thought. Probably having a fit, crying.
"Zoro's always fucking hurt! You stupid, selfish bastard! You picked a fucking fight and then you came here to my wedding ! Covered in fucking blood! You ruined her night!"
Zoro's leg screamed in pain. Warm blood slipped past the stitches, weeping down his thigh. Gritting his teeth, he glared up at his nakama.
"It was one thing to go picking fights when we had to," the cook ranted. "But now? You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you!"
It wasn't the first time the cook had called him a liability. Years ago, on an island from the future, the cook had called him that too. But it had only been once. And never again. Not until that moment.
And, just like on Egghead, none of their nakama protested.
We don't need you .
No one protested that either. Not even his captain, standing in the back, watching them with an expression that Zoro couldn't read. For the first time in his life, Zoro couldn't read Luffy.
"Sanji-kun," Nami whispered.
Gritting his teeth, Zoro shoved himself to his feet and left. Chopper's voice called after him but Franky's voice followed, ordering Chopper to let Zoro be.
We don't need you.
You're a liability.
It happened like this - Zoro's nakama didn't want him. And Zoro decided the most useful thing he could do for them was leave.
They gathered in Sunny's galley. Zoro could feel the Strawhats' eyes on him but he focused on walking. After weeks in that small puddle jumper, his leg was cramped and sore. Brown eyes bore into him and Zoro knew they belonged to the Pirate King. But he wouldn't meet those eyes.
He couldn't see the anger. The disappointment.
"What will Strawhat think of you now, Roronoa? Nothing but a bounty to be dragged in to the Marines."
Not a bounty. A liability.
Zoro was a liability.
He always had been.
Keeping his eyes down, Zoro lowered himself onto one of the couches in the galley. He rested Enma and Kitetsu against his shoulder and stretched out his leg. Trying to be subtle, he rested his hand against his thigh, digging his fingers into his scar in a failed attempt to calm it.
A strange warmth settled around him, even as the couch remained empty. It felt like Sunny. Felt like home .
But Sunny wasn't his home anymore.
Voices hissed at each other, but they weren't for him. They shouldn't tell Zoro any of their plans.
He was a liability.
Instead, Zoro dug his fingers into his flesh and willed Wado to stop being angry with him. The warmth remained, as though Sunny tried to wrap herself around him and protect him. Zoro didn't want to lean into it. Letting himself indulge in the luxuries of the past would only bring him harm. He closed his eyes and sunk into Sunny's warmth nonetheless, seeking her comfort as the drum of pain began to gather into an entire fucking orchestra.
"-ro? Um, Z-Zoro?"
Zoro forced his eyes open, his fingers stilling. Chopper stood in front of him. He looked older. It made sense. All of the Strawhats were older. It had been seven years. But the sight caused a tightness in Zoro's chest.
"We don't need you !"
"Luffy said th-that you're hurt."
Fuck, that nervous little stutter never left the doctor then. At least he didn't grow out of that.
Zoro shook his head. "Not hurt," he told the doctor. "Old wound."
"I can look at it. If-if you want."
Forcing his lips to pull up in at least a slight smile, Zoro shook his head. "Nothing you can do about it."
"I can try," Chopper whispered.
"Go into the infirmary," the Pirate King ordered. "Let Chopper look."
"Luffy." Robin's voice floated through the air with its usual grace, soft but firm. A warning.
"No," the Pirate King snapped. "Go into the infirmary. Now , Zoro."
You're not my captain anymore , Zoro wanted to remind the captain. But he could feel the underlying wave of Conqueror's Haki in the order. Which meant the man was getting angry.
Zoro was too tired for anger.
Chopper helped him shimmy out of his pants and sit on the infirmary bed. It felt too familiar. Too domestic. He'd sat in that bed, arguing with the little doctor for hours.
"What happened?" Chopper asked, running his fingers over the raised scar on Zoro's leg. Even in his human form, his ears pinned back when he was upset.
Zoro shrugged. "Got in a fight."
Chopper's fingers dug into the scar. Zoro's leg twitched as Wado moved, scraping against his bone. "There's something in there. Don't tell me you didn't seek medical attention for this!"
"Did," Zoro muttered. "Small island. Only had one doctor. Said it was stuck in the bone. He couldn't pull it out."
Chopper's eyes widened in horror. "What is it? What kind of shrapnel? It could cause bone decay or blood poisoning, Zoro. That's very dangerous."
"Wado," Zoro said, tapping his fingers against the bed, trying to get out the sudden energy flooding him. The urge to move. To get away.
The infirmary was silent for a minute.
"What?" Chopper's voice shook.
"You asked what it was. 's Wado."
Chopper burst into tears. Zoro flinched at the sound of his loud, hiccupping sobs, jerking away from him the noise on instinct. Zoro didn't know how to comfort people. He was no good to Chopper. To the Strawhat crew.
Zoro was a liability.
The infirmary door flew open. Zoro kept his gaze down as the aura of a King rolled through the infirmary. He pulled a breathe in and a breathe out.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
Zoro was a liability.
All he did was ruin the crew.
Calloused hands touched his cheeks. It took him a minute to realize that they were trying to catch the tears falling. Raising his gaze, the brown eyes of the Pirate King stared back.
"What will Strawhat think of you now, Roronoa? Nothing but a bounty to be dragged in to the Marines."
A liability.
The Pirate King brushed Zoro's tears away.
He was nothing but a liability.
It happened like this - Luffy waited until Zoro was out of earshot to drive his knuckles into Sanji's face. He was the captain, but Luffy knew not to get in between his cook and his swordsman. They had their own way of sorting things out.
But Sanji crossed a line.
Zoro always took pride in his ability to protect the crew. It was his love language, the way that food was Sanji's. To try and take that away from him was wrong.
Nami screamed as Sanji hit the deck but Luffy didn't care. He glared down at his cook.
"I know," Sanji hissed before Luffy could say anything. "I know."
"Fix it," Luffy ordered.
It happened like this - Luffy let his swordsman walk away to feel his vulnerability in peace. And then he never saw Zoro again.
"One problem at a time," Robin told the room, her voice controlled.
They were all piled into the infirmary now. The scene was all too familiar. A reminder of a past that Zoro would never be able to return to. Even if he wanted to.
He really did.
"Based on what you told us about the Devil Fruit user you encountered, I believe I know where to find him. It should take us a few weeks."
"That's plenty of time to take," Chopper paused and stuttered for a moment. "To take the steel out of Zoro's leg."
Wado. To take Wado out of Zoro's leg. His fingers brushed the scar, digging into the skin. The thought was like losing her a second time.
The Pirate King hummed from his place beside Zoro. He hadn't moved since Zoro stopped crying, placing himself on the bed with his legs crossed and his knee inches away from Zoro's leg.
"Won't heal fast," Zoro told them. Because it hadn't healed fast the first time.
I'll be a bigger liability than usual , Zoro hoped they heard.
"Of course it won't," Chopper squeaked. "The other doctor said the shrapnel is stuck in your femur bone, Zoro. It'll take weeks to heal."
"He'll be down for the count," Younger Zoro said.
"He wants you to wait until after we go home," Younger Luffy added. Sunny's boards creaked as he took a step further into the room. "But, I want Zoro to feel better."
Pulling in a deep breath, Zoro looked up at the younger man and shrugged. "'s fine. Hurts the worst when it's cold. Been fighting fine with it so far."
"You've been fighting with that in your leg?" Usopp yelped.
Keeping his eyes on Younger Luffy, Zoro shrugged. "Got a title to keep."
The cook scoffed in disgust.
Zoro flinched.
"Sanji," the Pirate King growled.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now!"
"Can wait," Zoro told Younger Luffy. "Waited this long."
Tears sparkled in Luffy's brown eyes. He shook his head. "No. I want Zoro to get it out. I don't want Zoro to hurt."
Zoro's lips twitched. He didn't know much other than hurt. He hadn't for years.
"Luffy," Younger Zoro said evenly.
" No !" Younger Luffy roared. He turned angry eyes on the Strawhats. "No! Fix it! You broke it! You broke it. Fix it !"
You broke my crew. Being alone is much worse than being hurt. Zoro can hear the words spilling out of Younger Luffy's mouth. His fingers dug into his scar again, searching for Wado.
"Luffy." Younger Zoro gripped his captain's arm. "Stop."
"No! They hurt you !"
Zoro's brow furrowed. "No," he told the captain. "Picked a fight. 's my fault."
"Zoro's always fucking hurt! You stupid, selfish bastard! You picked a fucking fight."
Younger Luffy broke into tears. His swordsman tugged him towards the galley with a sigh, already holding Luffy close.
Good. Protect him while you can. You're a liability.
An uncomfortable silence settled over the infirmary. Goosebumps moved up Zoro's arms as the heavy air settled over them.
"What do you want to do, Zoro?" the Pirate King asked.
Zoro shrugged, trying to feign indifference. The answer was easy. He couldn't be a liability again. "I'll wait."
"Zoro's not up in the crow's nest?"
Cracking open his eye, Zoro took in the sight of Younger Luffy. He looked calmer now, his eyes were still redder than usual. A sure sign that he had only stopped crying a few minutes ago. Younger Zoro lingered near the stairs, trying to look casual as he leaned against the railing with his swords leaning against his shoulder. But, Zoro detected the tension in his body with ease.
"Naw," Zoro said, looking back at Younger Luffy. "All his if he wants it." He tapped his leg. "Not much for climbing these days."
Younger Luffy's lips dipped down.
"Oi, don't look like that," Zoro told him. "'s not a big deal. I'm used to it."
"Your nakama didn't help you," Luffy whined.
"It's not their fault, Luffy."
Tears shone in Luffy's eyes. "You still didn't tell me what happened."
"You don't want a boring adventure."
"No," Luffy whispered. "I want you ."
Zoro's eye moved to his younger self. "You got him. Waiting for you. Take care of him , Luffy. Stop worrying about me."
"Can't. Zoro's my nakama. Tell me what happened."
"No."
"Why not? Zoro tells me everything."
Not anymore. Zoro sighed. "It won't change anything."
I'm a liability. The only one who can fix it is me. And I don't know how.
"It will!" Younger Luffy protested. "I'll know when it's gonna happen. I'll make sure that Zoro doesn't leave. N' that nobody fights. I'll be a good captain."
"You are a good captain," Zoro assured him.
"No. I'm not. Zoro's hurt. I'm a bad captain."
"Luffy."
"Tell me what I did wrong."
"I called him a liability." The cook's voice carried on the wind, tight and hesitant. "I told him we didn't need him."
Zoro's gaze flickered up to the man. His hair had gotten longer, pulled back in a bun, though he still had bangs to cover one of his stupid eyebrows. The shitty little goatee hadn't left, but there were wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. An unlit cigarette dangled from his lips and one of his precious hands played with his wedding band.
"My wedding! My fucking wedding. You missed my wedding. For a fight !"
Zoro averted his gaze as Luffy spun around. His anger filled the air, thick and demanding.
"What?"
Luffy didn't use the tone often. Zoro had only heard it a handful of times in the nearly twenty years he'd known Luffy. Quiet, so quiet. Luffy wasn't supposed to be quiet. And, when he was, hell was on the horizon.
"'s not his fault," Zoro told the young captain. "Doesn't matter anyway."
"It does," Luffy whispered. "It matters, a lot . Zoro protects us. Zoro always protects us. We'll always need Zoro."
"I know," the cook muttered, no doubt trying to quell Luffy's rage.
Because the younger captain hadn't realized it yet. He would. Soon. If they had already left Fishman Island, then within a few months, the cook will bring it up for the first time.
"Damn Marimo, putting everyone in danger. What a burden."
Zoro's fingers dropped to dig into his scar, to search for Wado. She bit in response, pain shooting through Zoro's leg.
Something prickled at the edge of Zoro's haki. Something powerful, rushing toward them. He knew that presence.
Forcing his leg to bed, Zoro shot forward and tackled Younger Luffy to the ground. Bits of steel peppered the ground where the young captain had been sitting. Behind him, Zoro's younger self roared with rage.
"No!" he shouted before the younger swordsman could move. "He'll shatter Wado!"
Zoro had failed Wado - his treasure. Kuina, his best friend - enough times. He couldn’t save his blade, but he could save this one.
“Luffy, you don’t let him near Kurogane,” Zoro told the young captain. “Don’t let him lose Wado.”
Zoro gritted his teeth and forced his leg to stay straight, staggering to his feet. A ship appeared as if out of thin air, pulling itself alongside Sunny. Kurogane's laughter filled the air.
"We meet again, Roronoa. How’s the leg?”
Arrogant bastard.
Zoro flicked Kitetsu free. He howled for blood. Battle erupted across the Sunny’s deck but Zoro only had eyes for the bounty hunter, grinning at him and wiggling a hand made completely of steel.
So he’d found a way to replace the hand Zoro had cut off. It didn’t matter. Zoro would cut this one off too.
Kurogane didn’t have a leg up anymore. Zoro knew what his Devil Fruit was. Black coated Kitetsu’s blade, the blood lust thick in the air.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
Squeezing his eyes closed, Zoro shook the thought away. Kurogane leapt toward him. Kitetsu met the steel hand with a resounding shing .
“I’ll take your bounty,” Kurogane told him. “And the rest of your pathetic crew’s too.”
Something prickled at the bottom of Zoro’s stomach. And old anger.
Enel.
Kaku.
Kuma.
Kizaru.
Kaido .
Zoro had no control over the Conqueror’s Haki that exploded from him. It shot through the ship in waves, crashing over the annoying small fries Kurogane had brought with him. Bodies hit the deck. Kitetsu vibrated in Zoro’s hand as Kurogane stumbled backward.
“ Never ,” Zoro growled. “Threaten my nakama.”
Kurogane threw his head back and laughed. “There he is. The King of Hell.”
Across the deck, Nami screamed. Zoro’s gaze snapped in her direction, but the cook was already there, driving his foot into the gut of another man.
Kurogane moved.
Kitetsu hissed.
Zoro brought the blade up to meet the steel hand. The cook and Luffy would protect the others - the Strawhats. Zoro just had to look after himself.
“Don’t get distracted. Do you know how long I waited for this? To fight to Word’s Greatest Swordsman? The man they call a demon? Your head will mark my name in the history books. Our last meeting was less than ideal, Roronoa.”
Zoro growled. It hadn’t exactly been ideal for him either.
He ducked away from Kurogane, swiping his sword at the man’s shoulder. Kurogane dodged with ease. Each movement locked them into a dance. Kitetsu screamed its demand for blood and vengeance and victory. Zoro’s leg prodded at him, Wado threatening to bring him down every time he dodged out of the way of an attack.
The amusement faded from Kurogan’s face as the dance continued, giving way to anger and frustration.
The bounty hunter was going to lose. And he knew it.
All at once, Zoro’s leg exploded with pain. His skin tore open, giving way for the pieces of Wado as they broke free of his bone and shot toward Kurogane on his command. His ruined muscles gave out, Kitetsu tumbling from his grasp as he screamed in pain.
Two pieces of steel - of Wado - veered back to Zoro. One slammed into his gut, the other into his chest.
Sunny’s deck caught him, her green grass seeping to red.
Kurogane sneered down at Zoro as he grasped at the blades sticking out of him. The other pieces of Wado clattered to the ground at the man’s feet.
“I won’t kill you first,” Kurogane told him. “Don’t worry, Roronoa. I’ll let you watch me capture your captain first.”
Pain stole the words from Zoro’s tongue. He gasped out a wheezing breath. Kurogane laughed. Kitetsu clattered against the deck for a minute before it shot up into Kurogane’s hand.
“And I’ll do it with your blade.”
Zoro coughed. It tasted like copper.
“It matters a lot. Zoro protects us. Zoro always protects us. We'll always need Zoro ."
Feet pounded across the deck. People screamed. Zoro could feel Kitetsu, angry and disappointed. Desperate for any chance to drink the blood it desired.
The sword would hurt them.
The people Zoro spent his life wanting to protect.
The people he loved.
“You’re nothing but a liability now!”
“Fuck you,” Zoro muttered.
The words tasted much sweeter than the blood on his tongue.
Wado’s rough and ruined edges bit into Zoro’s hand as he yanked a piece of her from his stomach. His leg screamed at him to lay down. To stop moving. He’d only lose more blood.
Zoro ignored the screams.
He couldn’t just lay down. He promised Brenley that he’d be back.
She was the only one who could take Zoro’s title. Brenley was the only one who got to beat Zoro in a fight.
Kurogane’s laughter echoed around him as he stumbled to his feet, but the bastard wasn’t look at him. He was swiping Kitetsu at any Strawhat he could reach. Usopp tackled the Pirate King - Luffy - to the ground. Across from the, Younger Zoro brought Shusui up deflecting the slash aimed at his captain.
“I defeated the World’s Greatest Swordsman,” Kurogane laughed. “What do you think you can do to me?”
Spinning Wado in his hand, Zoro grabbed the man’s shoulder and spun him around, driving the steel into his neck. Kurogane’s eyes widened in shock, red leaking out of his lips as they parted in a “huh”.
“Not losing yet. ’s a girl in this world that has to defeat me. N’ ‘til then, Death itself can’t have my life,” he growled through the blood slurring his words.
Kurogane’s hand pawed uselessly at his arm as Kitetsu hit the deck again.
“You wanted the King of Hell.” Speaking slowly, Zoro made sure to keep any of his words from meshing together. “Bow.”
With a single jerk, Wado’s steel slit the bounty hunter’s throat wide open. A wave of blood crashed down, bathing Zoro in coppery red.
“Zoro!”
Arms caught him as his leg gave out pulling him against a strong chest. A strawhat blocked out the sun as Zoro blinked up.
Luffy had gotten older. Even with the black dots dancing across his vision, Zoro saw it. Luffy’s face got sharper, stronger. His black hair still moved in short waves, like the sea itself and laugh lines filled his brow. It felt right for a Sun God to look so bright. Stubble dotted his chin and cheeks, highlighting the scar under his eye.
He looked like a king.
“N’nete’n,” Zoro muttered as someone started screaming for Chopper.
Luffy’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Zoro! No, lemme go! Lemme go!” Feet away, Younger Zoro wrestled his screaming captain against his chest.
Nineteen. When he was nineteen, Luffy wanted Zoro. Luffy cared about Zoro.
“N’nete’n. Wan’ ‘s to be n’nete’n ‘gain,” Zoro admitted before it all went black.
The cold brought pain. Not a dull drum of distant whimpering but an onslaught of stabbing agony that woke Zoro out of a dead sleep. Gritting his teeth, he shifted on his back. In the kitchen, dishes clanged together. Yara. Already? The sun had barely begun to rise. The purples and deep blues of predawn still had a hold on the sky.
Sitting up, Zoro let out a hiss of pain as his chest and stomach joined in the thrumming of his leg.
He must have had another challenger. And Yara dragged him home to stitch him up again. Zoro really had to figure out something nice to do for her. Without that woman, he’d be dead in a ditch somewhere.
Tucking his arm into his chest helped with the pain in his torso. But that makes shuffling to the side of the bed more difficult.
Closing his eyes, Zoro pulled in a long breath. He controlled his pain. His pain didn’t control him.
Floorboards creaked as Zoro settled himself on the side of the bed. One feat surpassed. Now he just had to figure out how he was going to get himself up without passing out. The railing would support his weight, but would Zoro’s arm support the movement?
With another breath, Zoro reached out for the railing. His fingers met a hand instead.
Zoro looked up.
Monkey D. Luffy stared back at him. The King of the Pirates, Strawhat sat atop his head like a crown.
And then it all crashed back down on him.
Zoro’s fingers moved to his thigh. Thick white bandages covered the scar that once held Wado.
Now she really was gone.
Calloused fingers squeezed his hand.
Oh, right. He was holding Luffy’s hand.
The Pirate King's fingers held him.
Swallowing hard, Zoro looked into the dark brown of Luffy’s eyes.
“I messed up,” Luffy whispered. His voice drowned in regret. “Thought Zoro just needed a few minutes to breathe. Then he never came back.”
Zoro dropped his gaze with a shrug. “Liability,” he muttered.
His mouth felt stuffed with cotton. Luffy moved, dropping to his knees so he could meet Zoro’s eye again.
“No,” Luffy said, voice trembling with barely concealed rage.
Don’t , Zoro heard Luffy say, ever call yourself that.
A familiar passion flickered in Luffy’s eyes. The way it used to. When he was nineteen.
“The kids?” he asked, fingers drumming against the bandage around his thigh, searching for Wado.
But she was gone.
“We sent ‘em home,” Luffy said.
Zoro nodded. “Good.”
They fell into quiet for a moment, Luffy still knelt between Zoro’s legs like he wasn’t the King of the Pirates.
“There’s a little girl who keeps coming to see you,” Luffy told him after a minute. “She said she wants to fight.”
A soft laugh crawled up Zoro’s throat. “Bren,” he muttered. “You didn’t let her in, did you?”
She was only seven. Zoro didn’t know what he looked like, but he knew it was bad. He could feel it in the ache beneath his skin.
Luffy shook his head. “Chopper said Zoro needed to rest. ‘N we didn’t wanna scare her.”
“Yeah. How long?”
“Three weeks.”
Shit. It was a wonder Brenley hadn’t burst down the door by now.
“How’d we get here?”
“Little Me gave us your eternal pose. The scary lady at the dock told us where you live.”
“Scary lady?” Zoro echoed.
Luffy nodded, eyes wide. “She yelled a lot , Zoro. Even Nami was scared of her.”
Zoro raised an eyebrow at him, trying to picture who he could be talking about. The villagers were mild mannered, knowing enough to pitch a fit if someone tried to screw them out of a deal. But none of them were scary. Definitely not scary enough to freak out Nami.
“Who are you talking about?”
“The purple haired lady. She comes with the little sword girl to check on you.”
“ Yara ?”
“Yeah. Think she said that was her name. She yelled at us so much, Zoro.”
Huh. Yara was definitely tenacious. She knew how to get what she wanted. But scarier than Nami? Zoro didn’t think that was even possible.
Zoro’s stomach growled before he could put too much thought into it.
“Yosh.” Luffy stood and offered Zoro his hand. “Sanji’s making dinner. Once Zoro eats, we gotta talk.”
Zoro sank onto his mattress with a sigh, his fingers digging into the fresh bandage Chopper put on his leg. Dinner had been a relatively quiet affair, unusual for the Strawhats. Zoro wondered if part of it had to do with the fact that his kitchen was nowhere near big enough to fit them all. Hell, his whole house was barely big enough to fit them all.
Nami and Usopp dragged Luffy to do the dishes as soon as dinner had finished and Zoro failed to fight back a smile at the sight. It all felt so familiar - too familiar. He couldn't let himself get used to it.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you !"
His chest twinged with pain as he ran his fingers through his hair.
Shoes tapped across the floorboards. Not Luffy’s. It was a soft tap, not the heavy slaps of sandals approaching. Or maybe a click. One of the girls, maybe. Not that it mattered. They probably weren’t heading to him away.
Zoro leaned his head back against the headboard and closed his eye. Outside of his leg - still drumming painfully - Zoro’s body ached in a good way. The way he used to ached after a good workout. Or a good fight.
He hadn’t ached this way in so long.
The clicking shoes came to a stop just outside his bedroom. Expecting to see Nami or Robin, Zoro opened his eye and found the cook.They stared at each other for an eternity.
The cook cleared his throat. “Can I?”
“You stupid, selfish bastard! You picked a fucking fight and then you came here to my wedding! Covered in fucking blood!”
Zoro swallowed and nodded.
Without hesitation, the blond stepped into the room and sat himself down on Zoro’s bed. An unlit cigarette sat between his lips, the same unlit cigarette Zoro had almost an hour ago. Strange. The cook rarely went ten minutes without a smoke.
At least when Zoro knew him he couldn’t.
Time changed people.
“Want a light?” Zoro asked after several minutes of watching the cook do nothing but turn the ring on his finger.
“Hmm? Oh. No.” He pulled the cigarette from between his teeth. “I promised I was going to try and quit. It’s going…”
“Bad?” Zoro guessed.
The cook huffed out a laugh. “Probably as well as you quitting booze. That fridge looked pretty empty, marimo. Only three bottles of sake.”
Marimo. A wave of something went through him. Like a jolt of electricity. Like a long forgotten hit of a drug that seeped into his blood and demanded more. More. More.
Zoro breathed in the high. “Don’t drink it much,” he admitted. “Makes my leg worse.”
“Oh.” the cook’s voice dipped and he dropped his head into his hands. “Fuck. I’m such a fucking coward.”
Coward? What was he running from something? That didn’t sound like the cook. The bastard was a love struck idiot, but he was one of the bravest men Zoro had ever known.
“Trouble in paradise already?” Zoro asked, because it was the only thing he could think of and he wasn’t ready to let this go yet. He wanted to pretend for just a little longer.
The cook laughed. “No. No, she’s great. She’s - she’s everything I ever wanted.”
Zoro hummed.
“My marriage isn’t what I’ve been avoiding, Zoro. I fucked up.”
“So fix it.”
Another laugh. “Sencho said that too. You morons have always been on the same wavelength.”
Sencho. The cook said it like Luffy was Zoro’s too.
"You're nothing but a fucking liability now! You and your stupid fucking blood lust. We don't need you to protect the crew, Zoro. We don't need you!"
He wasn’t. Luffy wasn’t Zoro’s. None of them were Zoro’s.
Because Zoro was nothing more than a fucking liability.
“Shit,” the cook muttered, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Fuck. Maybe it's because I know that nothing I saw will ever undo the harm I did.”
“‘s a pretty excuse,” Zoro told him, honestly.
“God, you’re still such a blunt bastard.”
Zoro shrugged.
“What if I can’t fix it?” the cook asked.
“What if you can?”
“I told myself that I was never going to be like them.” The cook ran his fingers through his hair. “The shit they did. The way they made me feel.” Talking about the Vinsmokes then.
“We’re going to beat these bastards. But, if after we win, I’m not in my right mind. I want you to kill me.”
Zoro was half-blind, but he wasn’t stupid . Even he knew the cook was terrified of turning into a Vinsmoke. It was why he tossed his shot at invisibility out the window. It was why the bastard was unflinchingly and unforgivably kind.
“I did everything to try and not be them. And then I went and fuck it up. I’m sorry, Zoro. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Zoro raised an eyebrow. “You’re not them.”
“I was. Back then.”
“Back then?”
The blond looked at him like he was stupid. It was another familiar look, one that Zoro had seen so many times since he was nineteen. And most of the time, it had been justified. But this time, Zoro knew it was unwarranted. The cook had never shown any signs of being anything like the Vinsmokes.
Zoro would have killed him if he had.
He’d promised.
After a long minute of staring, the cook moaned and put his head in his hands again. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”
“Say what?”
The blond lifted his head. A few strands of hair fall out of his bun, looking more disheveled than Zoro had ever seen the man look.
“Oh, holy shit,” the cook said after a minute. “You don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“What are you talking about?”
What was this a fucking riddle?
“My wedding, Zoro. I’m talking about my wedding.”
Oh. Zoro flinched, dropping his gaze.
“You stupid, selfish bastard! You picked a fucking fight and then you came here to my wedding! Covered in fucking blood! You ruined her night!
The cook wanted an apology. It made sense. Zoro left without giving one. He’d run away with his tail tucked between his legs.
Selfishly.
A stupid, selfish bastard.
“I’m so sorry, Zoro,” the cook said again.
Zoro looked up, confused. Wasn’t he supposed to be the one apologizing?
“The shit I said. It - I was so… angry. Hurt. And I know that’s an excuse. But I just. I don’t know what else to say. I was hurt and I wanted to make you hurt too. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t need to,” Zoro told him. “Were just being honest.”
“No. No.” The cook sounded horrified and then angry. “I wasn’t being honest. You’re our first mate. We need you .”
Bullshit. “Done fine.”
The cook laughed. It was a harsh, ugly thing. “Fine. Sure. If you call almost losing Luffy to the Marines six times fine , I guess we did fine.”
Zoro blinked.
“God, you’re such a stubborn fucking idiot!”
Zoro shrugged.
The cook threw his hands up. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
“Sanji,” Luffy interrupted angrily. The captain stood at the doorway, his arms crossed and a frown on his face. “We said no fighting.”
“We aren’t fighting ,” the cook snapped, waving a hand in Zoro’s direction. There was that fire Zoro had always known. “He’s an idiot.”
Luffy’s eyebrows narrowed. “You’re supposed to be fixing it.”
“I’m trying ! He’s missing the whole fucking point.”
“What point?” Zoro asked, exasperated.
He was fucking exhausted. His leg hurt. Wado was really gone this time. The Strawhats had invaded his house. And Zoro had the most distinct feeling that he was missing something important.
“The point is,” the cook seethed. “I’m trying to apologize for being a bad nakama. I’m trying to tell you that you aren’t a liability. I’m trying to tell you that I missed you, you algae-brained moron.”
Zoro blinked.
The cook sighed, leaning his head back.
“Sanji,” Luffy said. “Jinbe said ‘s all done. Go get it, neh?”
With a long breath of disappointment, the cook nodded and slid off the bed to head out the door. But not before pausing to look back at Zoro. “You’re our first mate,” the cook said. And then he was gone.
Zoro stared after him, suddenly feeling small in a way he never remembered feeling. Luffy climbed onto the bed next to him. They sat in silence for a long moment.
“Neh, Zoro,” Luffy said. “Come out to sea with me.”
Closing his eye, Zoro sighed. “You don’t want me on the sea with you, Luffy,” he muttered.
“I do.”
“I have a bum leg and chronic pain that makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning.”
“I’ll carry you out to Sunny’s deck.”
“And when we have to fight?”
“Zoro’s been fighting lots of people. Yara told us.”
“I’m a liability, Luffy.”
“You’re my first mate.”
No, I’m not. I haven’t been in years.
The tap of the cook’s shoes returned. He stopped in the doorway and Luffy sat up straight, his face breaking out into a grin.
“It’s perfect!” the captain cried, rocketing off the bed.
Zoro followed him, a flash of white in the cook’s hand catching his eye. Zoro’s breath faltered. Gingerly, Luffy took the katana from Sanji’s hands. Gone was the dust that had collected on the ruined hilt and battered scabbard, hidden away in Yara’s bar room. Zoro hadn’t been able to look at it but she insisted on keeping it for him. Just in case he ever felt sentimental.
Metal scraped as Luffy freed Wado from her scabbard.
It was impossible. She had shattered. Zoro had seen the pieces Kurogane had broke her into. He wore the proof on his leg. But he could feel her there. Dimly, he was aware of Kitetsu and Enma screaming their praises.
Grinning, Luffy turned back to look at Zoro. “Momo fixed her up. Franky n’ Jinbe brought him all the pieces. He said she’s different. She’ll never be the way she was. But, I think that’s okay. Different okay. She’s still Wado.”
With the white sword resting against his shoulder, Luffy turned to face Zoro fully. A wide grin filled his face. Smug and confident. Suddenly, Zoro was nineteen and staring at a scrawny little boy, offering to get his katana back and let him down from a cross.
Mischief sparkled in Luffy’s eyes. “Zoro, I got your katana back. But if you want me to return it to you, you’re gonna have to join my crew.”
"I'm always gonna need you, Zoro."
“Aye.”
It happened like this - as they left Fishman Island, a group of bounty hunters boarded Sunny. One of them had a Devil Fruit. Luffy fell into a portal. And, like he always would, Zoro followed his captain.