Chapter Text
Louis has always found the energy of the crowd thrilling. Their enthralled screams and ecstatic faces are like injections of adrenaline straight into his veins.
He rarely even admits to himself that it's an incredibly addictive feeling. It's not just the overwhelming adoration they all seem to have for him, it's also the realization of having created something that brings people together . Having created something that brings them so much joy.
He sees them swaying and hugging each other along to his ballads and dancing together to the beat of his rock tunes.
Even now when he's not doing anything but admiring the crowd while his band is playing a longer intro to his next song, they're oozing adrenaline, just from watching him standing still on the stage.
And Louis' body is sucking in all of it, like they're in some kind of symbiosis.
Shaking his head in disbelief, Louis pulls up his pant legs and crouches down on the edge of the stage to take it all in. All the overwhelmed tears, joyful smiles and blissful cries.
He scans the crowd, bringing his hand over his eyes to block the stage lights from blinding him, and lets his eyes travel as far to the back of the pit as possible.
There are fewer phones back there as they're clearly more focused on dancing rather than filming, but they’re still not missing the way Louis is observing them, judging by the enthusiastic waves and screams that follow.
Grinning, Louis gives them a thumbs up, laughing at the eruption of cheers it pulls out of not just the group at the back but probably every individual in the whole crowd. His pleased reaction only seems to make the cheers louder, and he almost shivers from the power of the goosebumps that rise on his skin.
He glances over his shoulder at Isaac who has an equally ecstatic smile on his face. He's not distracted by the crowd one bit — he's not missing a single note — but it's evident from his face that the reactions are getting to him too.
It's been a long journey to get here. Five years ago when they started with their small club gigs, they would have never believed that some day they could play to a crowd of nearly eight thousand people. And it’s not even the biggest venue of the tour.
Turning his head back around, Louis smiles at the girls standing behind the barricade right in front of him. Their reactions vary from sheepish smiles to surprised shrieks, and he finds them all equally endearing.
Someone behind them is holding a sign that they clearly want him to acknowledge, judging by the way they're frantically waving it.
Not wanting them to block the view with the sign, Louis taps his hand over his heart and tips his head in their direction to show his acknowledgement, even though he can't exactly make out what the sign says.
He imagines he sees 'you saved my life' written on it , with a couple of small hearts scattered around the text, but he can't be sure.
The thought alone makes his heart swell. It's yet another one of those things that he struggles to comprehend — being the reason why someone feels saved.
At the end of the day he's just a guy. Just another flawed human who's also in need of saving, without even knowing why or how he should be saved. All he knows is that while his life seems like a constant high, a dream even, he spends his nights wishing for someone to put their hand out for him to just hold .
The music echoing around the arena shifts and he stands up, not wanting to miss his cue to start singing.
He takes one more stroll across the stage, always attentive to the fact that he doesn't leave one side without any attention.
As he reaches the other end of the stage, his eyes locate a large bisexual flag taped on the barricade. It has his picture in the center of it, with a massive text that says 'the guardian of bisexuals' above it.
It pulls a chuckle out of him. That's the kind of honorary title he's happy to take. He's not out to the public as he's never thought it's something he owes to anyone but seeing things like that always lifts his mood.
As he looks up to see the group behind the flag, his breath gets stuck in his throat.
There in the middle of the flag stands what has to be one of the most beautiful girls Louis has ever laid his eyes on. She has her elbows propped on top of the barricade and she's gazing up at him with a soft smile, dimples decorating both of her cheeks. Her head is tilted bashfully, making the look on her face even sweeter somehow.
Now, Louis is only a human. He'd be lying if he said he has never considered his fans attractive but it's not something that happens regularly. Many of them are a little too young for him to look at and those who aren’t so young are rarely squished at the barricade for him to admire.
So, seeing a woman like her right at the front is a rare and remarkable surprise for him.
And God does he want to keep looking at her.
That sweetly sheepish smile on her cherry-red lips, her doe eyes and the wild curls that frame her distinct face ever so beautifully. She looks ethereal, simply out of this world.
Although Louis keeps his eyes locked on her captivating face, he can't help but see the low neck of her red top, and it takes everything in him not to let his eyes wander down the crevice of her chest.
The last thing he wants is to be caught ogling. He might be a human but not that much of a human.
While he's still drowning in her eyes, he grows aware of the crowd singing the first notes that he is supposed to be singing right now, and the realization hits him with the force of a firetruck.
A hot flush embraces his entire body, and he forces himself to tear his eyes off the curly-haired temptress so he can rush to his microphone stand.
He hauls it closer to his body and takes over the song, with an embarrassed smile still plastered on his face.
As he scans the crowd, he sees grins on their faces as they try to sing through their obvious amusement. Some of them are looking around themselves, possibly trying to figure out what kept him so occupied for a moment.
Surely they would figure it out. Maybe not the truth but they'll definitely find some kind of reason for it.
That much Louis has learned.
Even sneezing in the 'wrong' direction can be some kind of sign from him according to them.
Louis will be interested to find out after the show.
Even as he carries on through the song, there's a magnetic pull somewhere on the right, and Louis' eyes are simply too weak to resist it.
As his gaze drifts back to her and he sees the grin on her face as well, his heart gives a powerful jolt, strong enough to leave him breathless.
It's distracting — the restless leaping of his heart and her hypnotizing demeanor — but it's also exhilarating. It's a lovely feeling to be a little crush-drunk, if Louis can even call it that since he has only shared two brief looks with her.
But there’s definitely a pull, the kind that makes his belly all fluttery and his heart feel like it’s doubling in size.
It makes the show feel just a little more interesting, and just a little more exciting, so he allows himself to take all the joy out of it in any way he can.
☆
Throughout the show, Louis gravitates again and again towards the right side of the stage in an attempt to steal discreet glances of the girl because God knows he might never see such a beautiful face again.
Though he can't say he's succeeding in the whole 'being discreet' thing because there's never a moment when she's not looking back at him. Even when she's filming, she's looking at him over her phone instead of through the screen, never letting him out of her sight.
And while Louis realizes that's the case for most people in the crowd, especially those at the front, he can't help but feel slightly shy when he thinks about it.
He knows people are looking. They're looking all the damn time, even when he's just sipping water in the shadows by the side of the stage because somehow they find that intriguing.
He’s never understood why, and maybe he never will, but there's something about her gaze that makes his skin tingle. He can feel her eyes lingering on him at every given chance, even when he’s standing with his back towards the crowd.
It doesn’t just make his heart race, it also makes him embarrassingly clumsy in his moves. He can barely close his water bottle when he thinks about her looking at him, the cork just doesn’t seem to screw correctly, and even Michael picks up on it and gives him an amused frown.
After fumbling with it for a good minute, Louis finally manages to cap the bottle, and puts it back down by the drumset with an embarrassed snicker.
Back at the center of the stage, Louis grabs the microphone from its stand and brings it to his mouth. "You've been incredible tonight, Munich," he says, with a wistful pound in his chest, and the room erupts into yet another round of loud applause.
As he listens to the lively roar and takes it all in, his feet take him to the right side of the stage again, and suddenly he's standing in front of the bi-colored pride flag before he even realizes it.
The pull truly is magnetic, leaving him no choice but to comply with it.
Telling himself that after the remaining fifteen minutes of the set, he might never get to look at the girl with the dimples again, he shamelessly looks down at her while waiting for the cheering to quiet down a bit.
She’s filming Louis along with the rest of the people at the front but her eyes are still focused on Louis.
Louis flashes her a smile but she doesn't seem to realize it's all for her, judging by the way she discreetly looks around herself as if to figure out who the smile was for.
For you , Louis wants to say.
All for you.
The cheers of the crowd gradually die down, so Louis continues, "We've got about four songs left."
The girl's lips curl into a playful pout that manages to not just tug on Louis' heartstrings but also make him ridiculously giddy and warm inside.
Why does she have to be so cute?
Before he can help it, Louis is already chuckling right into the microphone, which only seems to excite the crowd more.
So many curious pairs of eyes are scanning around anxiously, looking for the source of his unexplainable joy. They’re practically squirming while investigating his bandmates and the fellow fans among them.
Louis wants to reassure them that the joy bubbling inside of him is for all of them. All of them have made the first of their bigger gigs memorable, and he’d thank everyone individually if he only could.
But maybe someone at the front has made it a little bit more special.
Bringing his microphone back up, Louis gestures at the entire crowd. "Give it everything you fuckin’ got. Let’s blow the fuckin’ roof off.”
☆
"That bisexual flag at the front looks very familiar," Michael says while he's scrolling his phone during their intermission before the encore. "I swear I saw it somewhere earlier today."
"Oh yeah, I did too," Matt chips in, with an annoyingly suggestive tone to his voice, and lightly nudges the side of Louis' arm with his elbow. "I think the owner tagged all of us in an Instagram post or something."
Louis ignores the flip of his heart and hides his flushing cheeks behind his beer.
Why are they even talking about said flag? Let alone the person who supposedly owns it. They saw several flags during the first leg of the tour and they rarely if ever became the topic of backstage conversations.
"Ah!" Michael flips his phone around for Louis to see and wriggles his eyebrows. "Found it."
There on his phone screen, is a picture of her , posing with the flag and her friend in front of today's venue.
Under the photo, there's a text,
You keep me bi, baby. See you tonight.
Louis' belly does that thing again, and the corner of his mouth rises up without him having any control over it, so he quickly takes another sip of his beer to make it less evident. "Yeah, it's a nice one."
"It's a nice one," Isaac mocks, smacking the top of Louis' shoulder, nearly causing him to spill his drink. "The flag or the person holding it?"
It appears Louis really hasn't been as subtle as he had first thought.
Louis shoots Isaac with a confused frown. "Mate, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"No?" Comes Michael's now higher-pitched voice, and he turns his phone back around. His thumb starts swiping feverishly over the screen. "Well, according to her Instagram, she prefers to go by the name Harry. She's 28 and–"
Sipping his beer, Louis glares at Michael from underneath his brows. "And you're stalking her Instagram, why?"
"I'm not stalking, she's the one who tagged us. I'm just looking, " Michael insists, never averting his eyes from his phone screen. His facial expressions vary from surprise to confusion while he scrolls, and eventually his whole face morphs into what looks like pleasant shock. "Hmm. Well, damn."
Louis' jaw clenches as he observes Michael. "What?"
"Nothing! Just, uh… truly a nice one, I guess."
Gritting his teeth, Louis rolls his eyes. "Oh, for fucks sake, man."
"Okay, chill out, boss," Matt chuckles, with Michael and Isaac both joining him. "Those were your words. I can give you her handle too if you'd like. No need to miss out on the fun."
" Not interested," Louis squeezes through his teeth, turning away from the prying eyes and starts adjusting his earpiece back into his ear. "Not exactly my thing to stalk fans."
Michael snorts. "Suit yourself. She is very attractive though. But hey, if you're not interested, maybe I'll hit her up–"
"If you dare… " Louis warns, briefly turning back around just to point a warning finger in Michael's direction. "That'll be the last thing you do."
His words inflict several 'oohs' and snickers from all of his bandmates, even Zak and Steve who have only been following the conversation from the sides.
Who is Louis to say what Michael can do with a girl Louis doesn't even know? He doesn't own her, he doesn't just get to call dibs on a breathing human being.
But much to Louis' relief, Michael shoves his phone into his pocket and raises his hands like he's giving up. "Wouldn't dream of it."
Louis keeps glowering at Michael. "Good."
He knows Michael is just taking the piss to rile Louis up but he also knows Michael does talk to fans, has probably slept with them too — Louis doesn't really keep track — so he has no doubts he would do the same with Harry if he truly fancied her.
And Louis doesn't want him anywhere near her. Not because there's anything inherently wrong with Michael or the way he's living his life but he just shouldn't touch her.
When they were still playing small club gigs and had a better chance at knowing the active fans, or more like groupies, on a more personal level, Louis definitely fooled around too.
But over the time as their band has gone more and more viral and he has gotten older, he has grown more hesitant. More responsible, he dares to say.
Times are different now.
☆
As Louis follows the lead of their crew's flashlights to get back on the stage, his heart starts beating faster again. Usually it's just the result of the palpable adrenaline in the crowd's roars but now he can barely hear them through the loud thudding of his heart.
And knowing he's singing his next song almost entirely on the right is not making it any better.
At least the venue is dark, so when he steps in front of the microphone, he doesn't immediately meet the doe eyes in the front row.
He'd definitely miss his cue to sing again.
As the first notes of the intro echo across the venue and the light above him starts to brighten, he closes his eyes to avoid any distractions.
He also keeps them closed through his singing, only opening them during Michael's solo when he has to move away from under the light bulb that's been shining over his head throughout the song.
Within seconds he concludes it's a mistake because he's unable to control his eyes from drifting to the wild mop of curls at the front.
It's not surprising she's looking back at him even though Michael is in the spotlight— most of the girls at the front are — but what truly catches him off guard is her blowing him a kiss.
Heart skipping at least two beats at once, Louis brings his hand over his mouth to hide the giggles that slip out of his mouth.
Yeah, he really needs to pull himself together.
Judging by the excited shrieks and smiles his reaction inflicts, it might be difficult for everyone in the front to figure out who exactly he's looking at, but maybe for the first time during the whole night, she seems to know.
Her beautifully red lips stretch into a breathtaking grin, and she sheepishly drops her head on her friend's shoulder and hides her face in there.
Louis has fallen in love.
He doesn't care that he has only known about her existence for barely two hours, he is in love.
Still grinning, Louis points down at her before making his way to the center of the stage to finish the song.
He doesn't stop observing her, how could he, and it seems she's finally catching on to Louis' harmless little crush if the smiles and shy waves are anything to go by.
They make Louis' knees all weak, and his stomach is constantly swooping.
Unfortunately, his joy is very short-lived.
By the time the next song starts, Louis is torn. Torn between the ecstasy of a successful start of their tour and the feeling of being so forlorn at having to say goodbye to Dimples in the first row.
The thought of maybe never seeing her face again makes his heart all heavy.
Which is silly — he doesn't even know her.
At the same time, the sole fact that he might never see her only makes him bolder. It's not like he has anything to lose.
If he saw a girl like that in a club, he could probably never pluck up enough courage to actually talk to her because despite his raunchy demeanor, he's truly just a shy boy inside.
But being on stage gives him so much unexplainable confidence that he wants to take full advantage of that.
So, throughout the last two songs, he keeps giving her sneaky smiles and suggestive cocks of his eyebrows, hoping and praying that it comes across more flirtatious than creepy.
In his defense, he's always playing around a little bit , and judging by the reactions he's seen online, his fans seem to get a kick out of it most of the time.
Harry is definitely aware of Louis' attention by now because she's almost waiting for it every time Louis comes close.
She looks daring almost, like she wants to challenge Louis.
If it wasn't for the shelter of his stage persona, Louis might run away and hide. Her eyes have an intense ability to stare right into his soul and whirl Louis' insides around to point where he feels like every inch of him is tingling.
Literally.
The end of the final song comes way too quickly, and his giddy joy turns to something more gloomy.
He tries not to let it show too much.
“Thank you everyone, you’ve been fuckin’ incredible tonight,” Louis praises as he puts his microphone back on its stand. “Good night! Please, get home safely!"
Before he leaves the stage, he winks at his little crush, not staying to look at her reaction because he rather keeps it a mystery.
Maybe she even missed it.
Maybe she did not.
Maybe she goes home thinking about it or maybe she won't.
Anyhow, Louis will definitely think about her for the rest of the night, and possibly for the rest of the week.
☆
Louis is very nosy.
He always wants to know what his fans are up to so of course he's killing time on the bus by scrolling twitter.
They're extremely observant — the fans. It's something he has learned over the years.
They’re also torn in half, in many ways. There are certain corners that are always fighting and certain corners that are always trying to stir some shit, especially if things are more 'quiet'.
Some corners are just vibing.
Things aren't any different now, it seems. All of them picked up on Louis’ unusually delightful mood at the previous show but interestingly they all have their own explanations for it.
One part of Louis' timeline is convinced Louis had a bit of a concert crush last night, and they're backing their claims with all the videos of him giggling like a flustered school boy while looking down at someone in the audience.
The other half is convinced he saw someone at the front wearing a shirt of him and Isaac, and that's why Louis is smiling so big in so many clips.
It's an interesting theory — him and Isaac. So far they've been able to laugh about it and sometimes even play into it. They like to call it 'fan service'.
And Louis likes to call it good business. He's aware that fame and success are fragile, and playing for both teams so to say just so happens to benefit him and his band the most.
After mindlessly scrolling for a good fifteen minutes, a tweet that's been retweeted onto his timeline by an update account he follows, catches his attention.
Louis' heart skips a beat.
A person named ' Harri on tour' is saying Louis had winked at them during the show completely unprovoked and is asking everyone to send any videos their way. In the end they have written how ‘he’, presumably Louis, keeps them bi.
Could it be…?
Louis' cheeks flush instantly, and he shifts restlessly on his bunk.
He keeps me so bi.
Louis saw that same expression being used on the Instagram post Michael showed him last night and everything else is matching too from her name to the wink Louis supposedly sent her way.
It is her, it has to be.
Without giving it a second thought, Louis immediately clicks her account open, quickly seeing yet another tweet about the winking incident, sent just about an hour ago.
Much to Louis’ horror, it says she's been receiving threats for saying Louis winked and smiled at her in the circulating video clips, and she's begging everyone to touch grass.
Louis snorts at the choice of her words. It’s yet another one of those expressions he wouldn’t even be familiar with if he didn’t lurk his timeline almost daily.
He quickly grows serious, though.
He hates that this person, whether it's her or not, has been receiving such horrendous threats for something Louis had done. Something he thought was just light-hearted fun has given some people enough reason to go around harassing Harry.
One scan through the quotes has his stomach twisting, and suddenly the theories of him and Isaac don't seem so harmless anymore. Not when people are using it as an excuse to say the most vile things to this poor girl who had no say in what Louis chose to do at that moment.
Out of curiosity, Louis opens the replies under the original tweet since there are quite a few and he's dying to know what everyone is saying.
It doesn’t take long for him to go from confused and upset on Harry's behalf to being straight up enraged for himself.
People have not just blown everything out of proportion with the wink and all the imaginable insults they're spewing at the girl, they're also further forcing the idea that Louis is committed to Isaac and he wouldn't look at anyone else.
Let alone women. Because apparently he’s either “scared of them”, “repulsed by them” or just “too gay” to acknowledge their presence at all.
Louis clenches his jaw.
He's been kissing boys and girls and everyone beyond and between since he was 12, and while he often tilts a little bit more on the masculine side when it comes to attraction, it doesn't mean his attraction to women and femininity is any less significant.
It's still there, has always been and will always be.
He’s not gay, let alone “half gay” or “half straight”, he’s bi. He can't wrap his mind around why the thought of him liking women bothers so many of his fans.
Maybe it's jealousy.
Maybe it's misogyny, plain and simple.
Maybe it's just biphobia.
Whatever it is, it's extremely disheartening to think about. He has managed to attract an audience that is mainly made of queer people and passionate allies, so the thought of them being selective with their support kind of dampens the encouraging atmosphere.
Maybe it’s all about the shame of possibly being wrong about him and Isaac. Which doesn’t even make sense because even if he and Isaac were a thing, it wouldn't make him any less bisexual. Nor would it make their rumored relationship any less genuine.
His fingers twitch from the urge to type something to clap back at everyone but he can't possibly blow his cover so he refrains.
To avoid temptations and dangerously high blood pressure, he closes the reply chain and he dives further down Harry’s account.
For no obvious reason.
He doesn't get that far before he finds a simple 'Copenhagen is so pretty, I wish I had more time to explore :( ' tweet from this noon.
And oh .
So, she's in–
Oh.
What a wild coincidence that she's in Copenhagen just when Louis has a show there.
Could she…?
Just the thought of her attending another show is all it takes for Louis' belly to get pleasantly fluttery again.
Actually, it doesn't just flutter anymore, it's straight up coiling , and the sensation is climbing up his chest and consuming his heart too. It wraps his entire body into a warm, nearly electric embrace.
It shouldn't.
He knows getting involved with fans is morally quite ambiguous, and since he is a man of principle, it wouldn't lead anywhere anyway.
But it doesn't mean he can't enjoy the lovely rush that's growing inside of him, right?
He can just enjoy the feeling while it lasts and then just forget about it.
Right?
So, just to ease his restless mind, he decides to scroll a bit more in the hopes of getting an actual confirmation she'll be in attendance tonight.
He doesn't have to scroll long until he comes across a tweet that says 'Good morning from Copenhagen. Got a show today', with a flagged image attached.
Louis has to press his hand over his chest to keep his heart from jumping right out.
Who else could it be about than Louis? Clearly she has dedicated lots of her life to him, judging by her presence on Twitter, and while he doesn't want to make assumptions, it kind of makes sense that it's him she's talking about. If she’s in the same city as him, she wouldn’t miss the show.
Right?
Before he can even think of opening the attached image, the thirsty replies underneath catch his attention, and his eyebrows shoot up.
Oh, Louis really shouldn't.
Whatever it is that's in the image, it's not for him to see. He doesn’t need to see what’s in there to be looked at “respectfully” and he definitely doesn’t need to see what Harry could have possibly posted to make this Erica person say ‘Mother’.
Whatever the hell that even means in this context.
Just no.
Nope.
It’s not for him to see. Why is he even stalking this particular fan? He can acknowledge she’s pretty without being a creep.
Thumbs hovering over his phone screen, Louis bites his lip. What’s the worst that could happen, though?
Curiosity killed the cat, that's what they always say, so Louis is clicking on the image before he can give it another thought.
And he shouldn't have.
He really fucking shouldn't have.
He should know images are flagged for a reason.
"Fuckin' hell," he murmurs to himself, his hand instinctively inching closer to his groin.
It's nothing scandalous, it's just a mirror selfie of her. But it's not exactly showing her face as her phone is very strategically in the way, so all Louis can really see is just her breasts — rather impressive breasts if he may add — fitted in a red lacy bra.
Once Louis’ eyes are locked in on them, he can’t seem to pull them away.
The blood that’s been rushing in his heart is suddenly heading South with such ferocity that it leaves him woozy.
Fuck.
Why does she have to be so fucking divine all over?
Louis tosses his phone aside on his bunk and brings both hands on top of his stomach. Closing his eyes, he takes deep grounding breaths, and wills his dick to stop stirring.
What he is not gonna do is wank to the thought, let alone an image, of Harry's, his fan's, rack. He's better than that.
That's what he likes to tell himself, at least.
But the pulse between his thighs definitely disagrees.
☆
Louis may have sinned.
Which might be why he’s double as nervous to get on the stage at the next show. How can he look at Harry in the eye after his weak moment?
He should be ashamed.
He keeps telling himself that Harry might as well be somewhere too far for him to see but as soon as he walks up on the stage, he immediately spots the familiar flag at the barricade, confirming that Harry is indeed close enough for him to look at.
This time the flag is located at the very center, right by Louis' microphone stand, and oh , it’s so much worse than he feared.
Behind the flag stands Harry of course, dressed in a black top with a neck low enough to reveal the top of her bra, and seeing the glimpse of the red lace takes Louis right back to his bunk where he lost the battle of wills earlier.
It’s like looking at his own shame in the eye.
Louis' heart starts racing even harder than it already is.
His nerves always bother him during the first few songs and seeing Harry again is definitely not making it easier. All of it leaves him feeling like his body could go on an overdrive.
He needs to get a fucking grip.
Louis takes a one brief stroll across the stage during the intro of the opening song to acknowledge everyone in the audience and to get some more adrenaline pumping through his veins, hoping it'd distract him both from the nerves and the traitorous crush.
Or whatever it is.
He just finds Harry extremely attractive but that alone doesn't make it a crush, does it?
Definitely not.
When he gets to his marked spot at the center of the stage, he looks down at the girls at the front. He attempts to just give a general look in their direction and maybe an appreciating smile but his eyes quickly get glued on Harry and Harry only.
Her curls are pulled to a high ponytail and it only further accentuates her exposed chest and shoulders, and her strikingly biteable neck. Her plush lips are painted with red bright enough for Louis to almost see the bow of her upper lip.
In his daydreams, Louis may have kissed those plush lips. He may have given her plenty of kisses actually, and only half of them were placed on her mouth. The other half was evenly shared between her chest and her–
Oh, this is indeed so much worse.
This show is going to be so much more difficult than the first one. How is Louis supposed to focus on anything else when she's right there looking like that?
How is he supposed to act normal when he’s constantly reminded of the lascivious thoughts that spiraled in his mind earlier?
Louis gazing doesn't go unnoticed, not if the way Harry's lips curl to a smile is anything to go by. She even gives Louis a small wave.
Such a simple thing has the power to make Louis' knees buckle and flip his entire belly around. He feels like he's 13 again and being acknowledged by his first real crush for the first time.
It's funny because of course she's noticing him — she's here to see him perform after all. But her waving and smiling has Louis acting all flustered, and he simply doesn't have the power to keep himself from grinning.
Instead of being blatant and pointing back at Harry, he just gives her a subtle nod and pulls his microphone stand close.
☆
Louis is definitely cursing himself for choosing to wear the pants that he does tonight because despite them being rather flowy and airy, they seem to be clinging onto every inch of him.
Literally .
And having Harry dancing — more of like bouncing — right under his nose, really puts both him and his pants on a test.
Oh, God , Louis really hates himself. It's just that they're right there and it's really hard not to look when they're on display like that. And Louis is only a human. Just a fragile little human full of flaws and moral dilemmas.
But while perfection might not be a familiar concept to him, he’s big on respect, and he doesn’t want to be caught staring like some kind of sex deprived creep with no sense of boundaries and respect.
He’s better than that. He knows he is.
To avoid the temptation of looking and giving the front row a glimpse of something they certainly didn’t pay for, he keeps his eyes glued on the ceiling for most of the set, or closes them altogether during the more intense songs.
And somehow, miraculously, he gets through the set without stumbling on his words too much or forgetting how to sing.
He can only pray his pants have remained loyal to him as well.
☆
The post-show rush after a successful show is always a little bit overwhelming.
Everyone's adrenaline is running high, and now that they have a day off tomorrow and are in no rush to get going to the next city, they're having some drinks backstage before Louis is due heading out to meet fans.
They don't always have the time and he doesn't always have the energy to do it. He believes they all deserve the best of him, and when he knows he doesn’t have the means to give them all the experience they'd deserve, he prefers not to go.
Tonight, however, he feels particularly energized. He could go out there right now.
For no specific reason whatsoever. They just had a really great gig and there’s so much adrenaline that’s rushing in his veins.
However, he knows the worst of the rush better pass.
And he doesn’t want to look too enthusiastic. His crew, his bandmates in particular, are already being annoying enough about Harry.
Apparently Louis is "too obvious".
Louis treats himself with a Vodka Redbull and takes a seat in the corner of one of the couches, and pulls out his phone.
He logs into Twitter, intending to just check his timeline but his fingers are leading him to the ‘search’ tab before he can help it, and all of a sudden he’s back on Harry’s account.
Louis nearly spits out his drink when he sees her most recent tweet from just a few minutes ago,
Now, there’s a mental image he didn’t need.
He really, really doesn’t need his mind wandering there. Harry’s beautiful face and her low-neck tops is enough of a torture for him. He doesn’t need to think about anything below her waist.
But God does it drive him crazy to think about her being as affected by him as he is by her.
Maybe she’s just humoring her Twitter audience but the sheer thought of her dripping for Louis is enough for his blood to start rushing and his heart to start racing.
With both of his hands occupied, Louis can only pull his feet on the couch and bring his other knee up in the hopes of hiding anything his bandmates might not wanna witness.
His face is hot, and his attempt to cool himself down with his drink has the opposite effect — the alcohol only makes the warm flush more evident.
Louis is actually going to die.
His cause of death will be a crush on a girl named Harry and the loss of circulation.
Actually, he’s extremely aware of his circulation right now, it’s just that it’s centered in all the wrong places.
☆
Around midnight after a couple drinks, Louis heads outside with his security's lead to meet the group of fans that’s been waiting there for a while. He’s been told it’s not too crowded and the area is quite small in general, so he should be done with them in approximately fifteen to twenty minutes.
There are a couple of barricades set up for crowd control, so Louis starts from the very first person at the end of the barricade on the right side.
He wants it to be fair for everyone. He's not gonna start choosing who gets to have a photo and who doesn't, so he always chooses to go through everyone at the front, and like that also the people around the second and third row get a chance to at least be in the same photo as him.
It appears to be a big deal for a lot of them, he has noticed.
The first few girls are young teenagers, seemingly overwhelmed by the sight of him so up close, so he gives them a gentle smile. “Are you alright?” He doesn’t get a coherent reply but one of the girls is holding her phone up in her shaky hand, so Louis tentatively reaches out. “Shall I take a photo?”
There’s an overwhelmed, almost teary ‘yes’, so Louis takes the phone into his hands and settles in front of the girls to take the photo. He fixes his hair before snapping several shots, hoping that at least one of them turns out alright.
He hands the phone back to the girl with a smile. “There you go, love. Thank you.”
He moves on along the front row, taking pictures and writing tattoos, whatever they might want. There are yells coming from the back of the crowd, varying from ‘I love you’ to ‘oi oi!’, and Louis occasionally responds to them just to humor them.
He’s over halfway through the crowd when a feisty demand to stop pushing carries over into his ears from a distance, and his head whips around.
He fortunately doesn’t see any scrapping, although he’d be quite entertained if he did even though he’d never admit it. Instead, out of all the people, he sees her , cramped against one of the barricades and telling people behind her to stop trying to shove her forward.
Oh, she's here.
She’s here .
Louis had already lost his hope about seeing her again tonight. Or ever, actually.
The butterflies in Louis' belly turn into a whole freaking zoo, and it takes everything in him not to start smiling too much.
The venue’s own security appears to handle the situation with the pushing so Louis turns back to the fans in front of him, and moves to the next one. “Hi, love.”
"Hi!" The girl reaches out to hand him her phone. “Can you take our photo?”
“Yes, of course.”
Even though Louis always swears everyone gets an equal chance at having a little interaction, he notices he’s starting to rush after learning that Harry’s waiting by the end of the barricade.
The closer to her he gets, the faster his heart also starts beating.
It's ridiculous.
At his grown age.
What’s so special about her? He doesn’t even know her. And she’s not the first beautiful woman he’s laid his eyes on.
But she has to be the most beautiful woman he has ever seen so there is that. Maybe he’s underestimating the power of a physical crush and his body’s primal cravings.
By the time he gets to the end, his heart is all but climbing out of his chest and the constant turmoil in his belly is almost starting to hurt.
How can she be even more beautiful up close? Her eyes are huge and strikingly green, her cheekbones are downright majestic and her lips would belong to an art museum.
Swallowing his nerves down his throat, Louis steps to Harry, offering her a friendly smile. "Hi, babe, how you doing?"
She returns his smile, making Louis’ heart flutter once again. "I'm good, how are you?"
How is he?
Well, in short, he’s currently dying.
“Fantastic,” Louis says, unable to pull the stupid grin off his face.
Oh God, does he sound sarcastic?
Better yet, does he look too obvious?
Oh, God , he sounds sarcastic. He's gonna read about how much he hated meeting the fans, isn't he?
Now that Louis thinks about it, he probably should have stayed inside after all.
“Do you mind…?” Harry says as she hands over her phone.
“Not at all,” Louis croaks out, cheeks flushing when his voice cracks.
As he takes her phone into his hand, his fingers graze against hers, and the zap it sends through his body makes his shiver.
Oh, he really needs to get a grip. Of himself, that is.
As he turns and lifts his arm to take their picture, she hesitantly reaches out to maybe rest her hand on Louis' arm but stops at the very last second, timidly glancing over at Louis’ security, more specifically Joni. "Sorry, I didn't–"
"It's alright, love," Louis says, smiling softly. "You can give me a cuddle."
Oh, so you're like creep -creep.
Seemingly pleased, she gently lays her warm hand on Louis' bare arm and rests her chin on top of his shoulder.
And really, Louis is going to need CPR as soon as he gets back inside.
Or even worse, right here and now. He wouldn’t be surprised if his knees gave in and he collapsed from a heart attack.
Oh, God, what if she somehow feels or hears the wild beat of his heart?
With trembling fingers, Louis somehow manages to snap a couple of pictures, and he quickly hands the phone back to Harry before he could drop it on the ground. “There you go, darling. Thank you.”
“For what?” She snickers.
That… is a good question.
Louis has never thought about it.
He just always thanks the fans when he takes a photo because… why?
The question takes him by a complete surprise, and he bursts into flustered chuckles. “I don’t know? For coming here and wanting to take a photo with me?”
Harry’s mouth curls into a grin and it makes the dimples on her cheeks even more prominent. She’s still filming Louis, with the tip of her tongue peeking between her teeth. “You’re welcome. Always a pleasure to meet fans.”
“Oi, a cheeky fucker,” Louis grins.
She just raises her eyebrows, shrugging ever so innocently. “Possibly.”
Joni comes to place a hand on Louis’ shoulder, and he slowly turns him away from the crowd and towards the door since he has now gone through all the fans.
Well, now this is even more embarrassing.
Louis plays it cool by locating the head of his security, and following their instructions back inside.
Joni is following hot on his heels, and when he steps to walk besides Louis, he lightly bumps Louis’ shoulder with his fist. “You would have stayed there for the rest of the night, wouldn’t you?”
Louis glares at him. “Oh, fuck off, don’t you start too.”
Joni just grins, saying nothing else.
☆
When they eventually get on the bus so they can start driving to the next stop, Louis climbs into his bunk and pulls out his phone.
He can’t resist the temptation, he logs straight into Twitter to see if Harry has posted anything since her cheeky tweet from earlier.
There, at the very top of her feed, sits a picture she took of Louis tonight, with a caption,
Thank you for your time. King of my heart xx. Always a pleasure to meet fans 😛
The caption and the picture both pull an embarrassed chuckle out of Louis.
He couldn't possibly be more obvious if he tried.