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Remus sat in his armchair and sighed, lighting his fifth cigarette that evening. He sipped his tea while looking out his windows at the half moon creeping above behind the city buildings.
He had had a cold for seven days, and couldn’t last five minutes without breaking out into a hysterical coughing fit, so he couldn’t help Grant get the weekly shop that day. Usually when he was by himself without grant, his thoughts would spiral to the days when he was his happiest.
In all fairness, Grant was an angel that came into Remus’s life when he needed him most. Of course he had known grant since he was a teenager, but it was the last twelve years that they had become close.
Scratching at the door redirected his thoughts. Grant had only been gone five minutes, he shouldn’t be back yet, unless he had forgotten his wallet, which Grant usually did.
But no. Remus had made sure that the other man remembered everything from his wallet, to his chapstick.
He was about to get off the sofa and see what was on the other side, but another round of coughing distracted him. He clutched his chest as he heaved. He should really stop smoking. It didn’t help that Grant, who had stopped each and every one of his other bad habits, also loved smoking. Remus didn’t want to stop one of the one of the only ways he could relive his hogwarts days. Smoking with Padfoot.
The scratching became more intense, but stopped for a while. Remus blinked, confused. Their flat had a strict no pets allowed policy.
“DAARRRLINGG!!!”
Remus yelped out his seat at the deep, husk voice outside on the balcony. He was frozen in his spot, ice dropping to his stomach and fingers going cold.
“DARRRLINGG!!”
The voice yelled again. It was only 6 pm, and who got drunk this early?
Remus finally found the strength and willpower to turn off the tv. It was then he heard the same scratching noise from his balcony window, except this sounded like human feet.
The balcony door burst open and a shadow of a man stood in the doorway.
“DARRLINGG!!! GUESS WHOS BACK FROM JAIL!!”
The voice was still husky, but had a more amused tone to it.
“Who the f-fuck are you?” Remus grunted in response, butting his cigarette on the dish by the sofa.
“THATS RIGHT, BABY! DADDY’S HOME FROM PRISON!” The man yelled. He was stick thin and frail, the light bouncing off his long dark hair, though his face was still in the shadows
“GET OUT MY FLAT!” Remus yelled back, having regained his composure.
The figure just chuckled, stepping forward, twirling his long dark wand in between his fingers. “I’ve waited twelve years for this moment..” The man’s laughs were cold like stone, his face was skeletal and skin dirty. His face was aged with small wrinkles, but his eyes were young. Could it be…
“S-Sirius..” Remus whispered, searching his jeans with his hands for his wand, without moving his eyes from the man stood in his flat. His fingers trembled as they wrapped around the fine piece of wood.
The man laughed hysterically again. “No need to defend yourself, my love! DADDY IS HOME!!”
Remus just stared. He felt like crying. This really was the man he lost twelve years ago. The boy he gifted his heart to on a silver fucking platter only for it to be broken. He felt all the emotions possible run through him then, locking eyes with his soulmate, or so they called it when they were young. He felt angry. Azkaban ruined him, he wasn’t sane at all. He felt sad, he felt like crying. He felt like running right back into Sirius’s arms and letting him be held once again.
But this man wasn’t the Sirius he remembered waking up to in the mornings, the Sirius he smoked with until the dead of night. The Sirius who made him feel seen and understood.
Remus collapsed back into his armchair and buried his face in his hands and sobbed. He was too overwhelmed. Should be invite this stranger back into his life and expect him to fit in like he used to over a decade ago?
Then, the door clicked. Grant was home.
Sirius jumped. “WHOS THERE?!” The frail man yelled, aiming his wand at the door.
Remus lifted his head and looked up at Sirius. He saw the same eyes, lips, nose. But it wasn’t the same. It never would be.
Fifteen year old Remus would be swooning at the hot and handsome Sirius Black defending him like that. But older Remus was wiser. Although, he didn’t feel all that strong and wise. A man broke into his house and he wasn’t doing anything about it.
“Uhh.. Remus?” Grant said worriedly as he locked the door behind him. Oh no.
Grant switched on the living room lights and found Sirius in the middle of the room. Remus saw Grant’s face whiten as he took a deep breath in.
“Sirius.” Grant said, his tone worried but full of dread. He knew that Remus would always pick Sirius. But Grant took Remus anyway, even if half his heart still belonged to the man who was stood in their living room.
Remus looked back and fourth to the two men he loved and felt like crying again. The toxic part of his mind thought which of the two men would catch him if he was to faint right there and then, because the longer the silence continued, the likelihood of this increased.
Remus always hated being in the middle of awkward situations, but this situation was the most awkward he had ever witnessed. He considered throwing himself off the balcony, but realised that Sirius would probably kill Grant without an explanation.