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Tubbo woke up to little feet kicking into his back. He groaned, ‘Owwww, m’feelings…’
His eyes blinked open, the room was still gloomy but the glowing alarm clock indicated it was ten o’clock in the morning. ‘Hnnnnnnnrgghhh’ he moaned as he felt another kick to his back. He rolled over in the bed to see Sunny twisting under the covers, trying to extricate herself.
Somehow in the night they appeared to have got the bedsheets completely screwed up and twisted.
‘M’sorry poppet,’ he mumbled as he tried to straighten out the covers so she could escape. He yawned widely.
Morning Pa she signed back at him, time to get up! Her curly hair was wild and untamed, and her big blue eyes shone in the semi-darkness of the bedroom.
‘Ughhhhh five more minutes please,’ said Tubbo, throwing an arm over his own eyes. He felt a jab in his side, ‘Ow!’ He removed his arm to squint at his daughter.
WAKE UP
‘Okay, okay, fuckkk, I’m moving, I’m moving!’
Sunny hopped down happily from the bed as Tubbo sat up blearily. She switched on the overhead light in the bunker and Tubbo winced at the brightness. Why do I have a morning child? he grumbled to himself, but he stretched, joints popping at the movement.
Rolling out of the bed he co-slept in with Sunny, he proceeded to the bathroom to shower, shave and brush his teeth. Once dressed and sorted, he emerged to find Sunny standing in front of her mirror admiring her outfit for the day. She’d chosen to go head-to-toe in pinks and reds, and when she twirled her tulle skirt fanned out.
‘Looking good sweetheart!’ said Tubbo with a grin. She turned around with a big toothy smile and held out a pink scrunchie.
Can you do my hair?
‘Course I can sunshine,’ said Tubbo and he reached for the hairbrush on the dresser.
They sat in front of the mirror, Sunny cross-legged in between Tubbo’s gangly legs as he brushed out her curly hair carefully so as not to hurt her. It was pretty tangled this morning, so he took his time until it was all brushed through. Whilst he was doing that she was busy counting out the money from her little coin purse, stacking the diamonds, emeralds and golden nuggets meticulously into neat piles before putting them all back in the pouch, which she then placed carefully in her pink cross-body bag, ready for the day.
‘What style do you want?’ Tubbo asked when he was done getting the tangles out and Sunny’s hair lay smooth in his hands.
She deliberated for a moment then signed A princess plait.
Tubbo nodded, ‘Coming right up! A princess hairstyle for my Princess.’
He set about scooping the top half of her hair up, securing it with a hair tie then braided it down to secure with another tie at the end. Finally adding the pink scrunchie over the top of the first bobble to finish the look. He leaned back to admire his handiwork. It actually looks good!
Those lessons with Niki had paid off. It had felt stupid at first, crammed into Empanada’s bakery with several of the other girl-dads trying to learn different hairstyles. But as soon as Tubbo had realised how happy it made Sunny when he did her hair, even if it was done badly, he’d committed to learning and practicing a number of styles. Plus, a bit of healthy competition never hurt, and he was determined to outdo Étoiles, Bad and Aypierre when it came to little-girl hairstyles. Sunny was going to be the best!
A consequence he hadn’t expected but now cherished was the nice Pa-Daughter bonding time each morning before they started the day. He planted a kiss to the top of her head, ‘Love you Sunny,’
Love you too Pa she replied.
‘Good to go?’ he asked.
She nodded.
Tubbo stood up and eyed his own wild hair in the mirror, ehhh it’ll do.
‘Right kiddo, what’s the plan for today?’ he looked down at her, she’d decided on a pair of pink sunglasses today which were shaped like hearts.
Did you forget Pa? she signed, It’s Valentine’s Day today!
Tubbo felt his stomach drop. Oh fuck. He gulped.
‘That’s today?’ he croaked, ‘I mean, of course I totally remembered it was Valentine’s day, yeah uh huh, totally remembered.’ He had not remembered; in fact he’d completely and truly forgotten. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.
Pa we have BIG plans for today signed Sunny confidently.
‘Oh yeah?’ asked Tubbo nervously, ‘Do any of those plans involve building a factory ten thousand blocks away, very far from everyone else on this fucking island?’
Sunny shook her head, No Pa. We have ACTIVITIES.
‘Oh yayyy,’ said Tubbo unenthusiastically as Sunny grabbed him by the hand and led him out of their bunker bedroom.
To StarBobby’s!
‘OKayyyyyyyyy,’ said Tubbo, hiding his pained expression from Sunny as she turned her back and drew out her Warpstone.
Stupid fucking Valentine’s day. Stupid fucking- who even was Valentine anyway and why did he have a day? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Oh my god, everyone on the Island is going to be fucking unbearable today. For fuck’s sake!
And then they were landing at the Favela. Tubbo looked up and groaned. The usual multi-coloured bunting had been swapped out for red heart shaped flags and banners everywhere. StarBobby’s had new signs in the windows covered in love hearts and copious amounts of glitter. As they drew closer Tubbo could see that they even had a holiday menu with all sorts of Valentine’s Day inspired drinks such as “Romantic Raspberry Macchiato” and “Love Potion Latte”. The Valentine’s flavours were even more expensive, what a scam!
‘Ughhhhh Sunny, they’ve gone and changed everything! Look!’ he moaned.
PA, I WANT THEM ALL. Too late. Sunny was bouncing on her toes, her excitement obvious as she gazed up at the menu board.
‘I’ll get you a normal hot chocolate, how about that?’ he suggested, knowing full well what the answer was going to be.
BUT I WANT THE VALENTINES ONE
‘Sunny-‘
PA!
The thing was, Tubbo never could refuse his daughter anything, even if it went against his very being to indulge in anything romantic today. The way her big eyes seemed to get even bigger as she looked up at him pleadingly behind the pink heart sunglasses.
‘Fine’, he sighed heavily and handed over the extortionate amount of diamonds for two drinks, ‘One Heartbeat Hot Chocolate, and one Cupid’s Cappuccino please.’ He inwardly cringed as he spoke the names of the drinks aloud.
Drinks acquired, Tubbo went to sit on the benches outside with Sunny. He handed her her drink, and she sipped it happily, whilst he sulked.
Pa, why are you so grumpy? She signed.
‘I’m not grumpy!’ he protested, ‘I’m just, I’m just….’
Grumpy?
Tubbo very maturely stuck his tongue out at her.
I know you’re sad Fred couldn’t get the day off work-
Tubbo interjected quickly, ‘It’s got absolutely nothing to do with Fred. I just think Valentine’s day is a stupid day that’s all.’
Sunny was giving him a don’t bullshit me expression. He staunchly looked anywhere but her. Ugh, he’d been doing so well not to think about Fred. Lovely, handsome, sweet Fred. His heart twinged in his chest. There was a reason he didn’t want it to be Valentine’s day today and why he’d wanted to go ten thousand blocks away. He didn’t want to spend the day pining over Fred and being reminded of how much he missed him.
He took a sip of his drink. Oh fuckkkk it tastes so good! It did nothing to improve his mood. Why the fuck does it have to taste so good? Stupid fucking drink, with it’s stupid fucking romantic name. Making me think about Fred and the fact he’s not here. Fuck the Federation for making him work all the time.
Tubbo scowled but kept mutinously drinking the sweet drink.
He saw that Sunny was signing so turned his attention back to her. But we can have a fun day Pa! YOU AND ME.
‘I suppose………’ he said begrudgingly, ‘We do always have fun together. But I swear Sunny, if any of the others get too fucking lovey dovey. I’m gonna have to violently stab them.’
PAAAAAAAA
‘Sunnnnnnnyyyyyy’ he whined back at her, ‘Look I just can’t fucking help it okay? The romantic stuff? It makes my skin crawl, don’t like it, never have.’ That was a blatant lie but if he said it enough times it would be believable right?
Keep telling yourself that bud signed Sunny. Tubbo huffed and continued drinking his coffee. Sometimes Sunny was too discerning for her own good. He tried to distract himself by thinking of other things as the sun started to peep out of the clouds and shone on them in the late morning. His mind wandered so far to the point where he was mentally designing a new storage system for his avocado factory and Sunny had to poke him to get his attention.
C’mon Pa! We have cookie quests to do!
‘Oh sorry poppet! Yeah sure, we can go do the quests, oh wait, is BadBoyHalo online? Can’t he just do them for me?’ Tubbo grinned cheekily.
Sunny put her hands on her hips and shook her head.
‘Fine, fine!’ he chuckled. He downed the remainder of his coffee, secretly cursing at how yummy it had been and the two of them made their way to the Warpstone and teleported to Spawn.
~
Coming to Spawn was a mistake.
Tubbo’s senses were immediately overwhelmed. There was romantic jazz music blasting, particles swimming across his vision, something sweet wafting up his nose and pink. Everywhere was pink.
‘OH FUCK’, he cried, covering his eyes with his hands. Maybe if he wished hard enough it would all go away. He crossed his fingers but nothing happened. Fuckkkkkk.
‘Oi!’ came a familiar voice.
‘Oi Tubbo!’ came another.
Fit and Pac were there, in the midst of all the pink, clearly the cause of it going by the lurid blocks they had in their hands. Spawn had been completely transformed: there were pink flowers, pink bushes, pink trees, pink banners, pink bunting and those stupid spore bloom things which spewed pink petals everywhere.
‘Oh god, my eyes, my eyes!’ wailed Tubbo as he peeked through his fingers at the scene.
Fit laughed heartily at his distress. Tubbo decided he was going to stab the bald man many, many times.
‘Tubbo! Happy Valentine’s Day!’ cried Pac, coming over to where Tubbo stood, immobilised by his surroundings.
‘Oh god, Sunnnnnyyyyy’ he said, ‘Why did you bring me here?!’
Pa stop being dramatic signed Sunny and Tubbo thought that was rich coming from one of the most dramatic children on the Island. Although the little voice inside of him reminded him that she was his daughter after all.
‘Yeah Tubbo, what’s wrong?’ chirped Fit as he was putting a number of pink blocks back into his backpack, ‘Fred not around today? You all upset?’
‘No, not at all,’ said Tubbo straightening up, but he caught Fit’s eye, and the other man was grinning widely at him. I will stab that man.
‘Aw how come Fred isn’t here?’ asked Pac sincerely. Looking between Sunny and Tubbo.
He had to work responded Sunny.
‘Fuck the Federation- I mean, cough cough!’ said Tubbo walking forwards and pretending to look anywhere but the security cameras observing spawn. As he did so he saw the little graffiti designs Pac had made and left all over spawn. Hearts were emblazoned all over the resident’s names, written in a variety of fonts. Okay, it’s kinda cute. And Pac’s done an awesome job here. Fucking hell.
‘Tubbo you can hang out with us today!’ said Pac cheerfully, ‘We have just finished decorating the Island for Valentine’s Day, we were going to do the cookie quests for Ramon and Richas if you want to join us?’
Tubbo visibly hesitated, but Sunny jumped right in and signed HELL YEAH. COOKIES!
‘Fine, fine!’ he sighed, but then he turned to look at Fit and Pac, and said warningly to them both, ‘But if you two start to do any fucking romantic shit I will kill you both and burn your rotting corpses.’
‘Us? Funny business?’ said Fit in mock outrage, ‘Tubbo! We would never!’
Pac scowled and muttered something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like speak for yourself, but Tubbo was already wandering out of earshot towards the bakery.
Inside, he came across Ramon. Sunny’s older brother and chief protector was busy sorting through his inventory; bombs and sticks of dynamite on the floor by his boot-clad feet.
‘Hi Ramon!’ greeted Tubbo, entering the bakery and waving to his nephew.
Uncle Tubbo! signed Ramon happily, looking up from his collection of flammables, You want to explode the bakery with me later? I found an exploit.
‘Ramon, you know I’m always down to fuck with the Federation. But let me do the cookie quests first and make Sunny happy, then we can raze this place to the fucking ground.’
Deal nodded Ramon.
Tubbo moved to the counter and retrieved the list of today’s cookie quests from the baker. He held it up to the light and after taking a second to read it, he almost combusted.
Task 1: Bouquet of Flowers
Task 2: 20 Heart Cookies
Task 3: 2 Lovebugs
‘Oh for FUCKS SAKE!’ yelled Tubbo, ‘Ramon where are your bombs! We’re destroying this place right now!’
This Island hated him. It had some sort of personal vendetta against him. It was determined to make him suffer. What the FUCK are these tasks?! Bouquet of flowers? LOVEBUGS?! What the fuck was a lovebug?!
‘Oh, I see you’ve seen the quests for today then?’ said Fit cheerfully as he entered the bakery. Fuck stabbing him, I’ll lock him in the bakery when I blow it to smithereens thought Tubbo murderously.
‘Sunny, I’m not doing the quests today,’ he announced as Sunny came through the doors to join them all. In response, she pouted at him.
But Pa, I need my cookies to be happy she signed, levelling him a look from under her sunglasses.
There was a loaded pause, ‘You’re being very sassy today young madame,’ said Tubbo grumpily.
I learn from the best she shrugged.
Tubbo sulked as Fit patted him on the shoulder a couple of times, seemingly trying to be reassuring, ‘Chin up Tubbo, at least you’ll make Sunny happy today! And who knows maybe you’ll cheer up to, it’ll be fun! Let’s go do the first task, I know where there’s loads of flowers to make the bouquet.’
Tubbo followed Fit’s lead as the older man gathered them all together at Spawn. At least it’s morning crew back together he thought, resigned over the day’s cookie quests. They all proceeded to make their way to Wilbur and Tallulah’s house where, in the garden, there was a warp plate transporting them many, many blocks away to a huge flower field.
Tubbo looked around in the moments after he appeared through the warp plate, ‘Oh wait,’ he said, ‘What the fuck? This is actually really pretty.’
Flowers of every colour and many varieties were spread across gentle rolling hills. The sun was high in the sky and a soft breeze rippled through the plants causing them all to sway attractively, dancing in the wind. The floral perfume smell was heady but pleasant. Pink and purple blossomed trees grew here and there, affording welcome shade.
PA LOOK AT THE FLOWERS!
‘I see Sunny!’ called out Tubbo as he tried to catch up to Sunny speeding ahead to run through the biome covered in multicoloured flowers. Seeing her skip through the flower field made his heart feel full. He took out his camera, and after taking a moment to find some paper, he snapped some photos. He looked down at the instant image that had been printed out: Sunny was caught mid twirl, her face shining in the sun, hair streaming behind her, arms flung out. It was a picture of pure happiness. For the first time today, he smiled. I should take more photos.
As Tubbo was stood gazing at the photo in his hands he felt a tug on his shirt, and he looked over. Ramon was standing next to him, holding out a bunch of lilacs.
Here you go Uncle signed the boy.
Tubbo was shocked, ‘For me?’
Duh. Ramon rolled his eyes and gestured again with the flowers until Tubbo took them from him. They were lovely.
‘Thanks kid,’ said Tubbo, his voice getting a little thick.
Sorry Fred can’t be here signed Ramon, I know you guys traded flowers.
‘How the fuck do you know that?’ asked Tubbo astonished.
Ramon tilted his head Sunny told me. She talks about you ALL the time. ALL THE TIME. Tubbo saw Ramon’s shy smile peek out from underneath his neckerchief emblazoned with a moustache icon. It’s so annoying lmao. But it’s because she loves you. And she wants you to be happy.
Ramon looked over his shoulder, to where Sunny was still frolicking in the flower field, She’s my dear sister. You’re one of the few people who gets her. And she gets you. That’s special, Uncle.
‘Ramon shut the fuck up,’ said Tubbo softly, his eyes prickling uncomfortably.
Ramon shrugged and moved off to find his Dads, leaving Tubbo stood under the jacaranda tree, holding a bunch of lilacs and feeling a whirlpool of emotions.
Sunny was…..special. He’d never expected to become a Dad, not so young. It was a huge responsibility. But she had cannonballed into his life and now he couldn’t imagine it without her. She was his daughter and he loved her so, so much. He almost laughed, Sunny talked about him all the time? He talked about Sunny all the time.
He looked down at the lilacs from Ramon. Little shit he thought fondly. Ramon acted all tough like his dad Fit, but just like his father there was a gooey centre under all of it.
The flowers did remind him of Fred though. Tubbo thought back to their letter exchange and how each time they’d leave a flower to each other. He’s spent so long researching the meanings of certain flowers and making sure he picked the right ones. He’d kept all the flowers Fred had ever given him. Pressing them in a book so they’d last forever. Pathetically romantic he chastised himself.
He was startled from his thoughts by Sunny running up to him, arms full of flowers.
PAAAAAAAAAAAA she signed with one hand.
‘Hey Sunny!’ he said, ‘Wow look at all those flowers! That’s so fucking cool! Now, how the fuck do we make them into a bouquet?’
The rest of the morning was spent in the shade of the Jacaranda tree, compiling the bouquet for the cookie quests. Tubbo and Sunny spent ages selecting the very best flowers, Tubbo bringing out his much used and dog-eared “Language of Flowers: A comprehensive guide to flower arranging”, to help with the task. By lunchtime, they’d assembled a huge, beautiful bouquet that was a masterpiece to behold.
PA ITS BEAUTIFUL!
‘It’s so beautiful Queen,’ said Tubbo admiringly, holding up the bouquet. ‘I don’t even want to give this in to the baker. What’s he gonna do with it? Eat it?’
Nooooooooooo signed Sunny despairingly.
‘Well, that’s gone and put a downer on everything hasn’t it?’ said Tubbo. Fuck. We’ve spent all this time for nothing. What a joke. He could feel his mood souring again.
He stood up and brushed off sprigs of foliage from his jeans. ‘Where are the others?’ he asked, looking around. He’d got so laser-focused in on the quest that he’d forgotten about Fit, Pac and Ramon entirely.
They quickly spotted Ramon, alone down by the stream, fishing. A smaller, but no less pretty bouquet was lain next to him on the grassy bank. Tubbo wandered over to his nephew, collecting him as they, along with Sunny, made their way to the warp plate, ready to return.
Fit and Pac were still nowhere to be seen.
Tubbo frowned, ‘Where the fuck are they?’
It wasn’t until they were approaching the warp plate through the long meadow-grass and wildflowers that he nearly stepped on them.
‘WHAT THE FUCK!’ he screamed, inches away from tripping over Fit’s ankles.
Fit and Pac had been almost invisible, lying in the long grass and from the looks of things had been making out; Pac’s hair was mussed, and Fit’s cheeks were red.
Tubbo felt his short-lived good mood evaporate instantly. ‘YOU PROMISED ME NO FUNNY BUSINESS!’
‘Tubbo it’s not what it looks like-‘protested Fit, rolling to his feet quickly and pulling Pac up with him.
‘OH YEAH?! It looks an awful lot like you two were being fucking handsy in the meadow!’ accused Tubbo. ‘I’m going to murder both your asses, come here!’
Pac and Fit scurried out of the way, half-laughing, half yelling as they legged it to the warp plate, Tubbo hot on their heels.
He chased them relentlessly through the warp plate, across the river by Tallulah’s garden, past Fit’s gym, past the adoption centre, all the way back to the bakery, where they ran inside and tried to close the door on him. But he was too quick and darted inside.
Tubbo drew out his chainsaw threateningly.
‘It’s a no PVP-zone!’ cried Fit, throwing up his hands in peace.
‘Yeah? Try me!’
‘Tubbo we’re sorry!’ pleaded Pac, ‘It was only kissing, that’s all. Nothing else!’
‘You fuckers!’ he cried, ‘You promised me no romantic shit!’
‘Tubbo come-on, we’re boyfriends,’ said Fit, trying to reason, ‘Just like you and Fred right?’
And with that, Tubbo felt himself deflate. You had to fucking remind me of Fred.
The fight all but gone from him he moved forwards, shoulder barging Fit out of the way. Throwing the bouquet down on the counter he demanded his cookie from the baker and once it was in his hand he strode silently from the bakery.
Tubbo found Sunny catching her breath from the chase on one of the benches by spawn. Tubbo sat down heavily next to her and wordlessly passed her the cookie. She took it from him and ate it silently, understanding implicitly that Tubbo was back to being in a foul mood.
They sat like that for long minutes as Sunny munched her cookie. Eventually she was done and she wiped crumbs from her skirt. Her legs didn’t touch the ground and she tapped her pink shoes together.
What now Pa?
Tubbo groaned and leaning forward rubbed his hands through his hair. It wasn’t fair for Sunny to feel the brunt of his bad mood but honestly, it also wasn’t fair that everyone was happy on this Island apart from him. They were all coupled up and together. Why couldn’t he and Fred have that?
A whooshing sound indicated there were new arrivals at Spawn. Tubbo looked up, it was BadBoyHalo and Dapper. Bad alighted from the Waystone very gracefully, his red and black cloak flaring from teleportation. He was mostly back to his normal colours now, from whatever depression he’d been dealing with when the children were kidnapped from before Purgatory, although his eyes seemed permanently set in heterochromia, with one white, one blue.
‘Why hello Tubbo!’ greeted Bad with a cheerful wave. ‘Hi Sunny! What are you guys up to?’
Tubbo suddenly had a thought, he perked up.
‘Bad! You’re alone aren’t you? You don’t have anyone else!’
Bad looked at him confused, ‘Huh? What do you mean? I’m not alone…I’ve got Dapper!’ He pointed to his son who was busy signing with Sunny - asking her how her day was going and how many cookie quests they’d done.
‘No, I mean you’re single right?’ said Tubbo, trying to clarify, ‘You’re a single Dad like me, you don’t have a boyfriend or anything.’
Bad cocked his head, ‘I mean, I guess yeah I’m a single parent. But I do have a….I mean Skeppy’s not here but-‘
‘Oh fuck. I forgot about Skeppy!’ said Tubbo grimacing. At least Fred was on the same fucking Island as me. Skeppy isn’t even here, he’s in some alternate dimension. Or he could just be a figment of Bad’s imagination at this point. Yeah, okay, fuck, it could be so much fucking worse.
‘Language,’ chastised Bad but it didn’t have too much bite to it, he was used to Tubbo’s potty mouth after the fortnight they’d spent together in Purgatory. ‘You seem upset Tubbo, you okay?’
Pa’s sad because it’s Valentines Day interrupted Sunny.
‘Oh, I see,’ said Bad chewing on his bottom lip, a fang pointing out, ‘Yeah, well I can see why he’d be upset. It’s a pretty polarising holiday celebration, y’know?’
‘It’s a load of fucking shit that’s what it is,’ said Tubbo, ‘Not made easier by people being fucking in your face about it all the time!’ he said gesturing to Fit and Pac who were peeking out of the door of the bakery, as if seeing whether it was safe to come out.
Bad tugged at the hood on his head as he looked from Tubbo to Fit and Pac and then back again. He opened his mouth as if to say something about Fit and Pac and then thought better of it. ‘Have you done the cookie quests for the day?’ he asked instead, changing the subject.
Tubbo decided to ignore the boyfriends in the bakery, ‘Yes! We’ve done the flower bouquet one. Bad can I have two cookies for Sunny please?’ he said clasping his hands together in a pleading motion.
‘What the fudge Tubbo! No! Come on, you need to do them yourself today, they’re really easy, you can totally do them.’
‘Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeee,’ Tubbo begged.
Bad shook his head, ‘No! Come on Tubbo, where’s that fearless Coach who led us so well in Purgatory?’ Bad grinned, ‘Surely you won’t be defeated by some simple cookie quests?’
‘I hate you. I hope you know that,’ said Tubbo. Infuriating demon.
Bad just continued to grin. ‘Well, Dapper and I still need to do the one where you bake the Valentine’s day cookies, why don’t we all do it together?’
‘You’ll do mine for me?’
‘Nice try Tubbo, but no come on! It’ll be fun!’
‘Your idea of fun and my idea of fun are very fucking different,’ said Tubbo grumpily.
But Bad wasn’t put off by Tubbo’s demeanour and gathering Fit, Pac, Ramon and Sunny together with Tubbo he gave them the instructions to warp to his and Dapper’s house.
Upon arrival at the dungeon-like house Tubbo watched as Bad strode off to the kitchen with Dapper, Sunny and Ramon all crowding around him excitedly. Tubbo followed after them along with Fit and Pac who were definitely holding hands behind him thinking they were being sneaky. He pretended to not see.
Why is Bad like a child magnet? thought Tubbo, He really should scare them all off, he’s a demon for fuck’s sake. But watching how Bad interacted with them Tubbo thought he looked more like an eager puppy, especially when his spade-tipped tail wagged in excitement.
‘Tubbo! Fit! Pac!’ called out Bad when they entered the large kitchen. He was brandishing aprons for them all, ‘Come on! Get stuck in!’
Tubbo moseyed on over and was somehow not surprised that both Dapper and Ramon had pulled out all of the drawers, taken out all the utensils for baking and had turned the ovens on, ready to go. Tubbo snatched his apron from Bad’s grasp and tied it around himself.
‘But I don’t even know how to bake,’ he protested, ‘I get the machines to do it for me.’
Here you go Uncle and Sunny signed Dapper, passing them a large mixing bowl, and then pointing to a worktop with all the things they could possibly ever need to make the cookies.
PA LOOK signed Sunny happily and she excitedly started grabbing bags of flour and sugar and pulling them towards her, but she was still so small and standing on her tippy toes she wasn’t able to properly reach and instead knocked over the bag of sugar and it spilled on the floor.
She looked up at Tubbo in worry.
‘Whoops!’ he said with a smile, ‘Don’t worry Sunny, Dapper and Bad are rich, they can give us more. Hey! Why don’t I made you a step?’ and he reached in his own backpack for the materials and in two minutes he’d crafted Sunny a step-stool for her to stand on and better reach the worktop. She hopped up eagerly and started weighing out the ingredients, a new bag of sugar already set out on the counter from Dapper, and the mess on the floor swept up.
‘Ingenious Tubbo,’ said Bad approvingly at his handiwork. Tubbo rolled his eyes, he couldn’t take anything the demon said seriously when he had on an apron which said, “I’d be muffin without you”.
He looked over to Fit, about to crack a joke about it but was stopped in his tracks by the words emblazoned on Fit’s apron saying “No Pain, No Grain”, and then Pac’s which had the words “You cake my breath away.” Tubbo looked down in horror at his own apron and after a moment of struggling to read backwards and upside down he realised his own apron said “Thanks for pudding up with me”.
‘NOOOO! You motherfucker!’ he cried.
‘Language!’ said Bad but he was chortling away as Fit and Pac laughed uproariously at Tubbo’s indignation. Tubbo glared daggers at all three of them. I will fucking murder you BadBoyHalo. You, Fit and Pac. I will take this whisk and-
Pa! Help me mix! Signed Sunny, interrupting his thoughts. With some reluctance Tubbo switched his attention to his daughter and grabbing a spoon started to mix the cookie mixture with a such a ferocity some of the batter spilled out of the bowl. After that he began to stir with a more measured action, not wanting to ruin Sunny’s cookie mixture.
Bad hovered around the cooking stations like an unwelcome fly and Tubbo spent some happy minutes imagining how he could swat the demon with his spatula. But in all honesty, Bad was actually very good at baking and gave them lots of helpful pointers. Maybe those muffin jokes weren’t all for show thought Tubbo.
Bad supervised Sunny and Tubbo as they rolled out the dough and started using the heart shaped cookie cutter to cut out the biscuits.
‘Great job guys!’ said the demon, ‘Don’t roll the dough too thin or else the cookies will catch and burn and you don’t want that! Nice Tubbo! Those are looking good!’
‘Really?’ asked Tubbo dubiously looking at his dough-cookies, they looked more like teardrops than hearts, fucking fantastic symbolism for my life right now.
‘Yeah, well they’re a little sad looking-‘ started Bad but when he saw the expression on Tubbo’s face he changed tack quickly, ‘But here, with a little prodding they’ll cheer up! There look! They look more like hearts already!’ The other man must have done some fucking demon magic because suddenly Tubbo’s cookies really were looking more like hearts.
Bad showed them how to put the batches of cookies in the ovens and then set a timer for them to cook. Whilst they baked, Fit, Pac and Ramon left the kitchen with Dapper, as Bad’s son wanted to show off his collection of dangerous animals. Bad stayed behind, clearing up some of the mess and pootling around his expansive kitchen.
Tubbo and Sunny sat in front of their oven as they watched the cookies bake. Tubbo was preoccupied thinking of how he could make this system more efficient; he could build an entire factory to make these things, it wouldn’t be hard. He could definitely automate most of the process: from the ingredient farms to the storage system, to mixing, assembling, baking and then back to storage again. He reckoned he could probably generate over a thousand cookies an hour…..
But then the timer was going off and the cookies were ready to take out from the oven. ‘Sunny, I’ll do this Queen,’ said Tubbo opening the over door and reaching for the tray.
‘TUBBO NO!’ shrieked Bad rushing over, but it was too late. Tubbo had grabbed the tray with his bare hand and jerked back instantly as the heat touched his skin. The motion destabilised the tray and it fell out of the oven with the cookies cascading onto the floor.
‘OW FUCK!’ Tubbo yelled, shaking his hand.
‘Holy Fudge!’ cried Bad, ‘Tubbo are you okay?’
‘Fuck fuck fuck!’ Tubbo was jumping up and down, his fingers flaming.
Bad grabbed his hand and tugged Tubbo over to the sink. He turned on the tap and moving Tubbo’s hand under the water fiddled with the tap until it ran a lukewarm temperature. Tubbo felt the soothing water run over his scalding hand.
PA! ARE YOU OKAY?
‘I’m fine poppet!’ said Tubbo, looking down at her worried face, ‘Your Pa’s a fucking idiot that’s all.’
Bad let out a snort as he fussed over Tubbo’s hand, ‘You can say that again. Tubbo what were you thinking?’
‘I wasn’t thinking, that was the problem,’ said Tubbo. He watched as Bad got him to stretch out his joints under the running stream of water, the other man inspecting his skin closely. Bad was being surprisingly gentle, Tubbo appreciated it as his hand was throbbing in pain.
Tubbo wasn’t a stranger to burns, nicks and the odd explosion. He lived and worked in a factory for fucks’ sake. Accidents happened. But he wasn’t used to someone else showing him this much care when he got injured. Maybe Phil…but the Crow was a proponent of tough love which Tubbo genuinely liked and respected; he let Tubbo learn from his mistakes and didn’t coddle him.
But this was different. Tubbo thought back to when he’d first met Bad, they been pretty antagonistic towards each other. But, after fighting, battling and surviving alongside each other in Purgatory and the trust the demon had put in Tubbo to lead the team, something had changed. Even though Bad constantly needled him, trolled him, pranked him and was ninety-eight percent downright infuriating - to the point that Tubbo want to squeeze him until he squeaked - he would now consider the demon a close ally and friend. Certainly someone who he could depend on in a crisis, who would drop everything to help him no matter what.
Take this for example, the other man’s bright eyes were narrowed as he examined Tubbo’s hand, and delicate finger pads pressed lightly on the inflamed skin. The care being shown here was surprising but not unwelcome.
Bro, you’re really not all that bad are you?
Funny how things worked out.
‘You’ll be okay I think,’ announced Bad, straightening up and rummaging around in his robe pocket he drew out a healing potion and unstoppered it, ‘Drink this, you muffinhead.’
Tubbo took the bottle with his free, unburnt hand and began to drink the sweet liquid. His hand started to feel better instantly.
‘Thanks Bad.’
‘You’re welcome Tubbo. I’m just glad there’s no lasting damage. I’m afraid the same can’t be said for your cookies however,’ Bad glanced back at the oven and the cookies spilling out of the appliance and onto the chequered kitchen floor.
‘Oh fuckkkk,’ groaned Tubbo, ‘Sunny, I’m so sorry it’s all my fault!’
It’s okay Pa, I’m just glad you’re okay. And Sunny was moving in close and hugging his waist. Tubbo gave her a one-armed hug back, his other hand still under the running water.
‘Don’t worry, I made extra.’ Bad was moving over to his own oven and after putting on the oven gloves which Tubbo had completely neglected, withdrew several trays of cookies, ‘You can have some of these.’
‘Really?’ asked Tubbo, astonished.
‘Of course, it was just an accident, I’m happy to help.’
‘Thanks Bad, I appreciate it dude,’ said Tubbo genuinely. His hand felt mostly better now, and he withdrew it from under the water and turned off the tap. ‘This makes up for that stunt you pulled on day twelve in Purgatory. Now we can hand these to the baker and get Sunny’s cookie.’
‘I still don’t know what you mean by day twelve,’ said Bad with a twinkle in his glowing eyes. Tubbo glared at him but then Bad laughed and it made Tubbo laugh too. You……sometimes…..I love you bro but I will kill you.
They called back Fit and the others, boxed up the batches of heart-shaped cookies, and all headed back to Spawn to submit them to the bakery. The collection of dads handed their freshly baked Valentine’s day cookies over the counter to the baker and got their Cucurucho cookies in return. Tubbo turned to Bad, ‘Thanks dude, really, you came in clutch there at the end, and thanks for patching me up.’
‘Anytime Coach,’ said Bad with a smile.
The Valentine’s day cookies had been the last quest for Bad and Dapper and so with a wave they headed off to go do some work on their hellish torture chamber otherwise known as the find-the-button-room.
Tubbo stood in Spawn and looked down at Sunny, ‘One task left sweet Princess… do you know what the fuck a lovebug is?’
Sunny giggled and shook her head No, but they sound cute!
Suddenly a shout could be heard and Pac was rushing past Tubbo and Sunny, they turned and saw Bagi and Empanada arriving at Spawn. Pac gave them both a hug and was chattering away to Bagi in rapid Portuguese.
‘Bom dia!’ cried Bagi, ‘Hi Guys!’
‘What the fuckkkkk?’ said Tubbo as he gazed at Bagi and her kid. They were both carrying large butterfly nets in their hands.
Bagi grinned, ‘Pac said you needed help getting the lovebugs? Empanada and I know where to find them! We can go on a morning crew expedition!’
‘Morning Crew!’ yelled Tubbo excitedly and Fit and Pac joined in cheering with him whilst Ramon and Sunny jumped up and down.
‘How the fuck do you know how to find lovebugs?’ Tubbo asked Bagi, amazed.
‘Oh, I got them a long time ago to decorate my place, for when Tina came over for a date,’ said Bagi ruefully, ‘But the thing was I didn’t know how to look after them properly and they died.’
Tubbo burst out laughing it was so unexpectedly funny, ‘Oh my god pahahahahah!’ he cried, ‘No fucking wayyyyy.’
‘I know! They just disappeared one day and I think they died,’ said Bagi also laughing. Empanada was face palming at her mother in despair at this. ‘But they were really cute before they died.’
‘So you want to go catch more of them?’ asked Pac, ‘How do we make sure they don’t die this time?’
‘Does it matter?’ asked Fit, ‘We only need to capture them and hand them to the baker, who the fuck knows what he does with them?’
Bet he puts them in pies signed Ramon
Nooooooooooooo signed both Sunny and Empanada.
Ramon pulled a face, This is why I was trying to explode the bakery.
‘Bagi, where do we need to go?’ asked Fit, trying to move the conversation on from lovebug pies, sensing the distress of the little girls.
‘Oh, it’s a really nice place, it’s a cherry blossom biome I think?’ Bagi asked for a sharestone from them, luckily Tubbo had his on him and passed it to her. She and Empanada left, and moments later Tubbo and the rest were able to teleport to the far-away biome.
~
So, it turned out that lovebugs were little shits.
They looked very cute, kind of like ladybirds but pink with heart shaped spots and they liked to sit on the bark of the cherry trees, very calm and docile. But anytime anyone approached them with a net they scuttled away devilishly quick.
‘Come here you LITTLE FUCK!’
Tubbo smashed his net against the tree as the lovebug ran around the other side of the trunk. The net broke.
‘Bagiiiiiii I need another net!’
‘Another one? TUBBO!’
Tubbo groaned and leaned his head against the tree. He was three nets down already. No lovebugs. I will fumigate this fucking biome I swear to god. These motherfuckers.
The lovebug cautiously crawled back around the tree staying high, out of reach. It made a whirring noise.
Okay now you’re just taking the piss.
‘You know Tubbo, have you thought about making love not war?’ It was Pac, he’d come over to where Tubbo was contemplating manufacturing a biohazard in order to not deal with catching these stupid bugs. The baker would accept dead ones right? The quest didn’t specify alive ones….
‘Not helping Pac,’ said Tubbo between gritted teeth.
‘No! I’m being serious Tubbo!’ said Pac brightly, ‘Look!’ and he held out a stick of something dark. The lovebug immediately started chittering and edged further down the tree trunk, lured by the mysterious item in Pac’s hand.
‘What the fuck?’
‘It’s vanilla, they love it!’
‘Pac you’re a fucking genius!’
‘Hahaha, no I’m not. I just couldn’t stand you being here, alone, all miserable and suffering.’
‘Gee thanks.’
Pac paused, the hand holding the vanilla withdrew slightly as he looked at Tubbo. The lovebug stayed still, fixated on the vanilla.
‘Tubbo…’ started Pac gently, ‘I don’t like to see you sad. Is it about Fred? Do you miss him?’
Tubbo’s chest twinged, ‘I don’t want to talk about Fred.’
Pac gazed at him for a long minute, Tubbo looked away at the lovebug still fascinated by the vanilla in Pac’s hand.
‘Okay Tubbo,’ said Pac heavily, ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you were feeling this way and it was bothering you so much that Fred wasn’t here today. Fit and I will calm it down.’
‘Oh well now I feel like a dick,’ said Tubbo. I didn’t mean to ruin your day too.
‘No! You’re not!’ said Pac, ‘You’re Tubbo! You’re amazing, you’re the number one genius on the server!’
‘Bro! I’ve been trying to catch these fucking bugs for like an hour and failing, and here you are with fucking vanilla and make it look easy.’
‘Let’s catch them together!’ suggested Pac handing Tubbo his net.
‘Alright, sounds like a plan.’
And with that, Pac slowly and carefully lured the lovebug down the bark of the tree, and Tubbo waited until it was in reach then pounced! The net successfully fell over the bug which buzzed it’s wings in annoyance. Tubbo was then able to transfer it into one of the golden cages for the baker.
‘Nice!’ said Pac high-fiving Tubbo.
Tubbo was grateful for Pac. He never would have met him if he hadn’t come to Quesadilla Island, and even though they were from different cultures and spoke different languages, they were great friends. And Pac was so sweet, he was thoughtful and caring. But he’d shown his strength in the first Purgatory and then bravery in heading back for the second Purgatory. Or maybe it was stupidity….but then again, I went back so it clearly runs in the morning crew family. Tubbo valued Pac’s creativity and ingenuity, they made a good team, and Tubbo realised in that moment that he considered the Brazilian his brother.
Slinging an arm around Pac, the two of them made their way back to the others.
Bagi and Empanada were setting up a picnic in a clearing in the cherry tree forest, a hamper had appeared and all sorts of baked goods were being set out.
Sunny was sat on the picnic blanket with her sister and was eating strawberries. A golden cage was next to her containing a lovebug. It’s pink shell vibrating in annoyance at being caught.
‘Sunny!’ called out Tubbo as he and Pac approached, ‘I caught one! Look!’
PA! I got one too!
‘Let’s gooooooo!’
Tubbo bent down and picked up Sunny’s lovebug, ‘I’ll be two seconds poppet, I’ll go and hand these into the baker and get you your final cookie for the day, then we are all done!’
Sunny nodded in response and ate another large strawberry, the red juice staining her lips.
Tubbo fist bumped Pac and then with a quick wave drew out his Warpstone and teleported back to Spawn. He ran over to the bakery and submitted his final quest and received the cookie. Pleased with himself he made his way back to the sharestone and returned to the picnic in the woods.
It was a little walk from the sharestone to the clearing. Tubbo scuffed his feet through the grass and hummed to himself. He soon came upon the picnic scene and something in his chest twisted painfully.
It was a lovely scene.
That was the problem.
Fit and Pac were sat next to one another, and although they’d toned down any PDA on Tubbo’s behalf there was still something so affectionate and loving about the way they were companionably sat next to one another, clearly comfortable in each other’s presence.
Bagi was sat across from them, Sunny and Empanada on each side of her, she was mothering them both as she divided up a Victoria sponge cake and handed out slices on paper plates.
Tubbo didn’t know where he fit in this tableau.
He felt so alone in that moment, stood in the shadow of the cherry trees watching everyone have fun in the sunlight. His chest felt hollow.
He walked hesitantly into the clearing.
‘Tubbo! Welcome back!’ cried Bagi, beaming at him.
‘Heyyy,’ he said but his greeting had none of his usual bouncy energy.
Sunny knew something was up. She always did. Pa? she signed curiously, her little face creasing in worry.
Tubbo sat down heavily on the picnic blanket, feeling miserable. He felt like he was intruding.
Suddenly there was a clang! Sunny had grabbed a spoon and whacked it on the trifle dish. Tubbo looked up startled and was met with his daughter on her feet and glaring at him. He wilted under her stern gaze through her sunglasses.
PA! she signed, You’ve been in a foul mood all day, and I’m so ANNOYED at you. We’ve done so many nice things, love doesn’t just have to be romantic you know? It’s spending time with those you care about. All of the things today, didn’t you have a nice time because you were doing them with me and with friends?
Tubbo looked at her in astonishment, it was unlike her to have an outburst like this. And then the words sank in, and he felt ashamed. Here was his own child teaching him about love, when he was the parent, the adult. He looked down at the picnic blanket and pulled at some loose fibres.
‘No, you’re right Sunny, we have had a nice day. I’ve been such a bastard all day, I’m sorry. Can you forgive me Sunny?’
He looked up, biting his bottom lip. Sunny sighed, Of course Pa! You’re so full of love you just need to let it out!
‘Sunny’s right Tubbo,’ said Fit, ‘And, I know you don’t want to fucking hear it, but you are so deserving of love too. Let us show it to you for fucks’ sake.’
‘Yes! Let us love you Tubbo!’ chimed in Bagi.
‘Oh guyyyyyyysss’ said Tubbo, his eyes welling up, ‘Guys stop, stopppp!’
‘No Tubbo, you are stuck with us forever!’ said Pac with a laugh.
‘You’re right,’ sniffed Tubbo wiping at his face with the back of his hand. No these are not tears. ‘I’ve been a dick and I’m sorry. It’s too late to enjoy the day, I’ve ruined it!’
No you haven’t Pa! signed Sunny, We can still have fun!
‘Can we? I think I’ve ruined it all guys.’
‘There’s still plenty of time left,’ said Fit firmly. He reached out and pressed a hand to Tubbo’s shoulder. ‘We’re all here and we’re not going anywhere. Now sit and eat some cake!’
Tubbo gave him a watery smile. They were all right, this was his family, his friends. And he had had a good day, from hanging out with Sunny at the coffee shop this morning, to making the bouquet and Ramon’s quiet but impactful words. To Bad showing him care when he was hurt, to Pac helping him when he was frustrated. And now Bagi and Empanada had this wonderful picnic and Fit was there, staunch friend as ever.
Tubbo had found his family here on the Island. This was where he belonged.
He gratefully accepted a slice of cake from Bagi, she gave him a kind smile as he took it from her. They all settled into happy conversation and ate and drank from the picnic hamper. Sunny and Empanada chatting about what they had learned at school that week, Ramon sitting happily munching on sandwiches as he kept a watchful eye over his sisters.
Bagi was just telling Fit, Pac and Tubbo about a new investigation she was carrying out with regards to the Federation when there was a crunch and they all looked around.
Fred was standing there, having stepped on a twig.
‘FRED?’ cried Tubbo in shock.
‘FRED?’ echoed Bagi, Fit and Pac.
‘I thought you said he couldn’t make it?’ asked Bagi confused.
‘What the fuck?’ exclaimed Tubbo, scrambling to his feet, ‘I thought you had to work all week dude!’
Fred shifted in place, looking uncertain. He seemed to not want to intrude. He was dressed like he’d come straight from work. His blue jacket over his white shirt and trousers. His arms were behind his back, but now he brought them round, revealing a huge bouquet of flowers.
Happy Valentine’s Day Tubbo. Pretty flowers for a boy with pretty eyes.
‘And you told us no romantic shit, what the fuck is this Tubbo?’ chortled Fit. Tubbo shot him a murderous look and the older man shut up quickly.
‘Fred….’ He said weakly, turning back to face the man he was in love with, ‘I….I…. this is a big fucking surprise.’
Fred cocked his head, If you don’t want the flowers?
Tubbo snatched the bouquet from Fred, ‘Don’t be stupid of course I want them… Thank you,’ he added.
He turned the bouquet around in his hands. It was spectacular, it was full of red roses, pink camellias, white anemones and blue forget-me-nots, so, so, many forget-me-nots. It wasn’t hard to miss the meaning in this bouquet – I love you and miss you. I haven’t forgotten you, don’t forget me.
‘I miss you too,’ mumbled Tubbo, looking down at the floral arrangement and breathing in the fantastic scent.
Fred stepped in close then, Tubbo didn’t want to look up, but he needed to, to see what Fred was signing.
I wanted to be with you today. I miss you, I’m sorry I’m late.
‘That’s okay,’ said Tubbo finally meeting Fred’s brown eyes and getting lost in the depths of them, ‘I’m just glad you’re here.’
Fred smiled then and Tubbo felt himself melt. He’s so fucking handsome it’s unfair. With his perfect smile, his perfect eyes and his perfect hair. Fred’s hair was white and curly and was tousled from the slight breeze in the cherry tree grove.
Fred reached out and gently laced his fingers with Tubbo’s free hand.
‘Get a room you two,’ chirped Fit.
‘Fit I will murder you and bury your body in a shallow grave so Leo’s hounds will dig you up and eat your corpse,’ threatened Tubbo without looking away from Fred. His heart and brain were celebrating. He’s here! Fred’s here!
Fred shook his head in amusement. Tubbo, be nice,
Tubbo just grinned cheekily, ‘Fred you have no idea how unbearable everyone’s been today.’
‘Are you including yourself in that Tubbo?’ called out Fit with a smirk.
And it was only Fred’s hand entwined with Tubbo’s that held him back from doing anything to his very, very annoying friend.
Bagi took the lead in welcoming Fred to the picnic, offering them all more slices of cake and they fell in cheerful conversation again. Sunny was ecstatic to see Fred again and scooched herself closer to the tall man, keen to show him everything in her purse. Fred in turn, was very patient with her, marvelling at all her precious gems and complementing her collection.
Tubbo leaned into Fred’s side as they sat together on picnic blanket and Fred turned to press a kiss to the top of Tubbo’s head.
Tubbo sighed.
Yeah okay, this is nice. Surrounded by friends, family and Fred.
Valentine’s day was maybe not so bad after all.