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The temperature is warm on this summer night, the moonlight reflecting in Seungkwan’s eyes, light dancing on his face as he’s whispering something to Hansol, but Hansol’s been too busy watching him – from his long eyelashes casting shadows on his soft cheeks, the cute slope of his nose and his plump lips – to actually register what he is saying.
“Hansol-ah?” Seungkwan is slightly frowning now, he seems to have noticed how much Hansol has been staring. “Do I have something on my face?” he laughs, softly, a little embarrassed, a little endeared.
“No, sorry.” Hansol replies. “What were you saying?”
Seungkwan raises his hand to brush Hansol’s hair away from his eyes, stroking gently, a smile forming on his face.
“Doesn’t matter. We should probably go to bed, uh?”
It feels good, the way Seungkwan pats his head, it always does and Hansol feels like leaning into it like a cat.
“Yeah, probably.” he admits. And he is tired, they’ve been partying for a while, celebrating Seungcheol’s birthday. It was a lot of fun but Hansol has been sleepy, could barely keep his eyes open as he watched the others perform in noreabang a couple hours ago.
“Mm.” Seungkwan nods faintly, eyes still fixed on Hansol’s.
Neither of them initiate a move, they just keep standing there in the doorframe to the room they’re sharing, Seungkwan still softly carding his fingers through Hansol’s slightly overgrown bangs.
Hansol can hear hushed conversations somewhere down the corridor, noises of the others getting ready for bed, but every sound seems distant and muffled, as if he and Seungkwan were standing in their own bubble away from the rest of the world.
Hansol leans in without thinking, without rationalizing it. It seems appropriate at the moment, it feels natural, like something he should have been doing for a long time.
His lips meet Seungkwan’s who lets out a small gasp. Heat ignites in Hansol’s chest at that, spreading through his body and only becoming warmer when Seungkwan’s lips part and Hansol’s tongue gently slips inside his mouth, tasting, discovering for the first time. Seungkwan’s mouth is soft and Hansol’s head is spinning a bit with how good it feels. The acknowledgment of the fact that he is kissing Seungkwan, his best friend Seungkwan, and that Seungkwan is kissing him back sets some kind of alarm in the back of his head, but he stifles it quickly in favor of the buzzing excitement and pleasure that fills his mind.
They kiss for a little bit, seconds or minutes, Hansol isn’t too sure. It’s like time has stopped for them anyway.
After breaking the kiss, Hansol withdraws his hand that had landed on Seungkwan’s hip.
They go lay in their twin sized beds without talking about what just happened. At that moment, Hansol doesn’t feel any worry. Maybe he is too tired to overthink it yet, maybe he’s still a little bit drunk on the rush of kissing Seungkwan. As he falls asleep listening to Seungkwan’s breathing, he feels light and happy, and strangely whole, as if a piece of himself that was missing suddenly came back into place.
It’s only when he wakes up well into the morning and Seungkwan isn’t in the bed next to him that he’s overtaken with an uncomfortable sensation. They’ve forgotten to close the blinds before sleeping so the room is too bright, the sharpness of the late morning sun underlining Seungkwan’s absence.
Hansol rubs his eyes, trying to get himself to wake up faster.
As the memories of what happened yesterday come back to him, he is invaded by a sense of dread and apprehension.
He kissed Seungkwan. His best friend. And sure, Seungkwan responded well to the kiss – he smiled at Hansol after and quietly said goodnight, but what if he woke up and realized it was all a mistake, that he never saw Hansol as more than a friend?
Hansol blurred the lines. What if Seungkwan doesn’t like it? What if he grows distant, or worse, what if he grows to hate Hansol and Hansol only has got himself blame himself for it and-
Someone yells from the first floor for those who want breakfast to hurry downstairs, successfully extracting Hansol from his spiral of worries.
He sighs, preparing himself for the worst as he reluctantly steps outside of the bedroom, still in his pajamas. He’s trying to think of something to say to Seungkwan, an apology maybe, some damage control at least but before he can really think of anything, he is stopped in his tracks.
Hansol, who just almost had a heart attack, finds himself facing a wide eyed Seungkwan, visibly walking fresh out of the shower, wet hair sticking cutely to his front, a damp towel thrown over his shoulder.
Before Hansol has time to say anything or more realistically to stand in front of Seungkwan in awkward silence, Seungkwan abruptly reduces the distance between them, both his hands cupping Hansol’s cheeks. He holds Hansol’s face as he plants a kiss on Hansol’s mouth. His lips are still cold from the shower, but they’re just as soft as they were yesterday. Hansol wonders if it’s possible to get addicted to something so quickly, because he doesn’t think he can ever live without it now.
Unfortunately, the cool sensation is gone as quickly as it appeared. Seungkwan’s face is the reddest it’s ever been, and he’s seen Seungkwan pretty red before.
“Good morning.” Seungkwan mumbles, avoiding Hansol’s eyes, before disappearing like a storm, leaving Hansol standing bewildered in the corridor.
“Oh.” is all Hansol says before bringing a finger to his lips.
Hansol isn’t lying when he says he never saw it coming. He’s not sure if he was oblivious to it or if their friendship just gradually developed into something else, like a plant growing so slowly that you don’t even notice it until the day it’s there, solid and blooming.
Slowly, his lips curl into a smile. He’s overcome with relief first, then excitement. A different feeling of love engulfing him like a wave. A door opening to the promise of something more.