Work Text:
March 2009
Cameron paced slowly around LaGuardia Airport’s Delta Shuttle Terminal as she waited for the passengers on the shuttle from Boston to disembark. It was mid-morning, so the commuter rush was over and there weren’t a lot of people standing around waiting to board the outbound shuttle or waiting for someone to arrive, like she was. With her hair in a ponytail and her telltale clear gray eyes hidden behind tinted glasses and no makeup except for some lip gloss, she was sure no one recognized her…yet. Hopefully, Chris would get his exquisite ass off that plane before anyone did.
A few minutes later, a small group of shuttle passengers came towards her. She stood on her tiptoes to see if Chris was among them. There he was, right in the middle of the pack. She felt her breath catch, as it always did when she would first lay eyes on him, no matter where they were. He was simply the most beautiful man she’d ever known, and not just physically. His heart and soul were pure gold, and he had an innate intelligence that she found just as sexy as his outward appearance. Chris was a truly lovely man, one of her most treasured friends, even though he’d made it known a long time ago that he wanted more than just friendship from her. But with her insane schedule and his burgeoning movie career, she didn’t think it would be fair to either one of them to start a relationship when they, typically, were never in the same city for more than a week or two at a time. Both she and Chris were the type of people who wanted their significant other close by as much as possible, and that just wasn’t feasible at this point in time. So while they’d slowly moved, over the past eighteen months, from just hanging out as best friends to something a little more, she refused to let it get as serious as he wanted, at least not until she fulfilled the last part of her concert schedule later in the year. Then, and only then, would the someday she’d promised him about a year after they’d first met finally come about.
Cameron smiled as Chris approached her, a wide grin on his handsome face. He immediately curled his right hand around the nape of her neck and brought her face close to his. “Hey, babe,” he said softly just before his lips met hers in a warm, loving kiss. They both hummed in pleasure. He pulled away slowly and let his eyes sweep over her body from head to toe, causing Cameron to shiver slightly. “You look great, babe. Love the shades.”
She laughed as he slipped his arm around her shoulders while she wound her arm around his slim waist and they started towards the terminal entrance. “Thanks. I’m trying to be incognito, you know?”
“Did it work?”
“Not really. You recognized me, didn’t you?”
Chris smirked. “Cute, Kennedy.”
“I thought so.” She laughed again as he bumped his hip against hers.
They left the terminal and headed towards the short-term parking lot. “You gonna let me drive the Range Rover, Cam?” Chris asked, knowing what her standard reply would be.
“Sure, Evans…when hell freezes over, I’ll make sure to give you the keys.” He chuckled as she wrinkled her nose at him.
They arrived at her car and she unlocked the back so he could toss his bag in. Leaving him to it, she walked around to the driver’s side and pulled open the door. As she slid in behind the wheel, she called over her shoulder, “Are you hungry, sweetie? Do you want to stop somewhere or can you hold out till we get to my house and I can make you something?” She heard him slam the back shut and turned to watch him get in the Rover beside her. Leaning towards her, he gave her a quick kiss and said, “I can hold out. I love it when you cook for me.”
She smirked as she started the car. “Who said anything about cooking? I was thinking ham and cheese sandwich.”
Chris burst into the loud, boisterous laugh that never failed to delight her. “Wench!” he exclaimed through his laughter as he buckled his seatbelt. “You are so full of shit. You love to cook for me. I’ve lost count how many times you’ve told me that over the years.”
“Lies, all lies,” she said with a grin.
“Sure,” he drawled as he all but burrowed into his seat. He watched as Cameron buckled her own seatbelt then grabbed the wheel and backed the Rover out of the parking spot. She waited until they were out of the lot and onto the service road leading to the Grand Central Parkway before she spoke. “Well, I suppose I can spare a nice big slice of that lasagna I made this morning. I was just in the mood to make it, mind you. It wasn’t because I knew you were coming or anything.”
“Lasagna? Oh man,” Chris said as his mouth watered at the thought of the dish Cameron made better than most of the women on the Italian side of his family. “And you can tell yourself all you want that it was just a coincidence you were in the mood to make lasagna today. You know you made that special just for little ol’ me.”
Cam gave him the side eye. “Ain’t nothing little about you, Evans.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet, sweetheart,” he said with a leer.
She sighed. “You had to make it pervy.” He just laughed.
They drove in silence for a few minutes. Chris glanced over at Cameron when she reached out and started fiddling with the car stereo. “I hope you don’t mind but I wanted to finish listening to the demo of an album I’ve been working on with Libera, the boys’ choir from London that I am a patron of. They want me to hear it and give my opinion before they go ahead and master it.”
“Sure, go ahead, babe, I’d like to hear it myself. I like those kids. My whole family loves those CDs of theirs you sent us last Christmas.”
Cameron smiled proudly. “Those are my boys,” she said, sounding for all the world like a doting parent. She poked at the CD controls until she came to the song she wanted. A lone, sweet voice came through the speakers, and Chris felt a tiny shudder run down his spine. Those kids were amazing. Cameron had done a concert in Boston last year with John Williams, the Boston Pops, and the boys from Libera and she’d invited the entire Evans family as her special guests. Every single one of the Evanses cried during the performance. Between the choir’s sweet voices and the almost otherworldly way Cameron played her violin, the family simply didn’t stand a chance. Neither, it seemed, did the rest of the audience. There were a lot of sniffles and tears in the theatre that night.
You are the voice
You are the music that plays
You are the day
Lacrymosa
Dolorosa
Voca Me
Libera
Salva Me
Chris leaned back against the headrest and turned slightly to watch Cameron as she hummed along while she drove. He hoped she would eventually start singing along and, much to his pleasure, she did just that, softly singing harmony to the high, sweet voices on the hauntingly beautiful recording.
You are the voice that calls in the silence
You are the light that shines in the dark
You hold me in any sorrow
See me through every shadow
Salva Me
You are the words of the song
You are the light
You are the music that plays
You are the voice
You are the day
Lacrymosa
Dolorosa
Voca Me
Libera
Salva Me
You are the words of the song in the sunrise
You are the music that plays at the dawn
You hold me if I were falling
Hear me if I am calling
Salva Me
You are the words of the song
You are the light
You are the music that plays
You are the voice
You are the day
Lacrymosa
Dolorosa
You are the voice that calls in the silence
You are the words of the song
You are the light
You are the voice
You are the music that plays
You are the voice
You are the light
You are the day
Chris reached over and stopped the CD. Cameron glanced at him, one beautifully shaped eyebrow lifted in question. “That was absolutely gorgeous and downright haunting. Did you write that?”
Cameron shifted her attention back to the road in front of them before she answered. “I wrote the lyrics but the music is from Camille Saint-Saens’ Carnival of the Animals, “Aquarium,” to be exact. It’s always been one of my favorite pieces of music. I thought it would make a beautiful love song.” She gave a soft smile. “I was right. That has got to be one of my favorite recordings from those boys. They really did that piece justice.”
“I might have known you wrote those lyrics,” Chris said quietly. “Sounds like something you would say to someone you really loved.”
“And how would you know what I would say to someone I really loved?” Cameron asked, just as quietly.
“Cam, I’ve known you for four years. I’ve seen – and heard – you in every mood you’ve ever had. I know what you sound like when you’re feeling happy, silly, ecstatic, sad, hurt, disappointed, angry…and romantic. That song? That’s you being totally romantic.” He shifted slightly in his seat and turned his head to look out of the windshield in front of him. “I wonder who you were thinking of when you wrote those lyrics.”
She sighed. “Why did I have to be thinking of a specific person, Chris? I’m willing to bet that not every love song in history was written with a specific person in mind.”
“And I’m willing to bet that you’re right. But that isn’t the case with this song. I know it isn’t, say what you will.” Now he sighed. “How much longer are we gonna keep up this dance, Cameron? I’m ready. I’ve been ready. I haven’t dated anyone else in almost nine months. You haven’t dated anyone else since that fiasco with Ben Barnes last year. Don’t you think it’s time already?” They drove in silence for a few long minutes then he sighed again. “Who am I kidding?” he said softly, almost to himself. “We both know that I’ll wait for you for however long it takes. You are more than worth it.”
Cameron repressed the shudder that wanted to steal down her spine at his quiet words. Rather than respond to his heartfelt declaration, she decided to go on the defensive. “Chris, let’s not do this right now. The timing’s still not right. In two weeks, I’m leaving to start work on Iron Man 2. When I’m done with that, I’m going overseas to finish the European leg of my tour and then home to Ireland to film two Christmas specials, one for the BBC and Irish television and one to be broadcast here in the States. Since my family is joining me for that, we are gonna buck tradition and do Christmas here in New York instead of Dublin. However, we may spend New Year’s in Dublin; that’s still up in the air.
“Now let’s talk about you. After you hang out with me for a few days, you’re heading back up to Boston. After your birthday in June – I’ll try to come see you but I can’t make any promises – you’re flying out to Puerto Rico to film The Losers. That ends filming in October, if I remember correctly, so that means you’ll be heading back home to spend the holidays with your family. The earliest you and I will be able to spend any real quality time together will be mid-December. Chris, a ghra, when exactly would we have sufficient time to really devote to a sort of brand new, serious relationship? When I get with you, I want to be with you – all the time. I don’t want to spend whatever time we have together via the telephone or a grainy video chat, do you hear what I’m saying to you?” She glanced at him and found him slumped in his seat with the same mulish expression he got whenever she shut down his overtures. She smirked and looked back to the road.
“And, while we’re on the subject, what exactly do you mean by ‘that fiasco with Ben Barnes’? Ben and I parted amicably, remember? It was always casual, well, for me at least. We just wanted different things from the relationship so rather than hang on to something that would eventually crash and burn and lead to unnecessary resentment and bad feelings, we agreed to walk away. He and I are still friends. We occasionally get together for lunch or dinner whenever we’re both in London.”
“Beg pardon?” Chris said as he sat straight up in his seat and turned to look at Cameron. “You guys still see each other?”
“Occasionally and only as friends, Chris. Like I said, we parted on really good terms. He’s a great guy and we still have fun when we get together. It’s no big deal.”
“Why don’t I know about this? Last time I looked, we were still best friends, Cameron, and a little more than that, as well. I would think you stepping out with your ex-boyfriend was something you would have at least mentioned in passing.”
“I never thought it was important enough to mention in passing, Christopher.”
“Yeah, huh? Does Groban know? Does Gia know? They’re your best friends, too. Did you not tell them?” He had her there. Her sudden silence gave her away. “Yeah,” he said softly, “that’s what I thought. You told them but you didn’t tell me. Why is that, Cameron?”
Cam huffed out a breath. She glanced at Chris and immediately read the truth on his face. He never could lie to her. “You already knew, didn’t you, you rat bastard? Groban told you, right? Or maybe it was Gia. I wouldn’t be surprised. She’s been ‘shipping us since the moment she first met you. Says I’m insane for not having had you every day and twice on Sundays starting the day we met.”
Chris snorted. “I knew there was reason I loved that girl.”
Cam shook her head. “I knew that you would feel…’put out’ if I told you I saw Ben on occasion, despite the fact that we agreed a year ago to have an open relationship. Even though this whole thing just now was obviously an act, since you already knew, I can still hear how you really feel. I knew you wouldn’t be happy about it so I just decided it was best not to say anything. But, I think I also knew, deep down, that Josh and Gia wouldn’t be able to keep it to themselves forever.” She sighed. “Maybe, subconsciously, I figured they’d do my dirty work for me. Guess I was right.” She shrugged and gave a short laugh. “Well, how’s that for being thoroughly passive aggressive?”
Chris smirked. “You got that right. But I think I have every right to be a bit ‘put out.’ The thought of you being with someone else is kind of crazy making, you know, especially when you keep making me wait for you. Because you not telling me says that these little get togethers were more than just lunch or dinner. Sounds more like the occasional booty call.”
“What?!” Cameron spluttered. “Are you fucking kidding me with this, Evans? Seriously, are you? Booty calls?”
“Well, what would you call them?”
“Lunch and dinner, which is exactly what they’ve been!”
“That’s your story, huh? Cam, come on, this is Chris you’re talking to.”
“Right now I don’t know who the fuck I’m talking to. I can’t believe you think I’ve been tapping Ben’s ass! I mean, really? I didn’t fuck him when I was seeing him, so why in God’s good name would I do so now that we’re just friends? Booty calls, my ass! Jesus Christ, Evans,” she said with a glare at Chris, “FYI, I’m still a fucking virgin!” Cam’s eyes widened when she realized what she had let slip and she quickly turned them back to the road. Please, God, take me now!
Chris just stared at the furiously blushing Cameron. Of all the things she could have said, that was the last thing he expected. He had thought for sure her relationship with Barnes had become sexual and that was what had led to their breakup. Chris figured Ben had been having the same problem he was: that he had wanted more from his relationship with Cameron and she just wasn’t ready – or willing – to give more. Wow. But hey, who was he kidding? This was the best news he’d had in a long time. It had killed him to think of his beloved Cameron with the tall, thin British actor, he of the deep brown eyes and killer smile.
Ben had surprised Cameron one night when she, Chris, Josh, and Gia had been having one of their “Core Four” get togethers at Cam’s uncle’s pub in Manhattan. It had made for an incredibly awkward evening since Cam and Chris had promised they would keep their “outside interests” away from each other, and Ben kept trying to be lovey-dovey with Cameron, despite the fact that he knew she and Chris were also seeing each other. Chris really impressed the hell out of Cameron by taking the high road and behaving completely civilly towards Ben, even though Cam could see in Chris’ eyes that he was annoyed as shit at Ben’s intrusion on their evening and his presumptuousness. By the same token, Chris had to give props to Cameron for respecting his feelings by avoiding any PDA with Ben. She did wind up cutting the evening short, however. Having Ben and Chris sitting on either side of her had just been too much for her nerves. At one point, she had disappeared into her uncle’s office in the back and it took Gia a good fifteen minutes to coax her back out. Shortly after returning to the table, she claimed she had developed a splitting headache (named Ben, Josh had muttered into Chris’ ear, causing Chris to choke on his sip of beer) and after giving everyone a hug and a whispered, “I’m so sorry,” she left the bar, Ben trailing behind her, asking if there was anything he could do for her. “Yeah,” Chris had grunted behind the other man’s back, “you could fuck off and die.” Josh and Gia had almost laughed themselves into a fit.
But now, as they drove over the Triborough Bridge into Manhattan, Chris felt a bubble of happiness well up in his chest and he fought very hard to keep a delighted smile off his face. He loved Cameron and it made him beyond happy to know that she’d chosen to wait.
Cameron, still mortified at just blurting out the state of her virginity to the one man who was totally capable of eradicating that particular problem, relaxed her death grip on the steering wheel and surreptitiously took a few deep breaths. She steadfastly refused to look at Chris, even though she could feel his eyes on her. He was going to ask her about this, she knew he was. That was Chris. It just wasn’t in his nature to let something like this go. Especially this, considering his feelings for her.
“Cameron?” Chris’ voice startled her out of her reverie. She heaved an internal sigh. Here goes nothing. “Yes, Christopher?”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why haven’t you…I mean…why?”
That was grossly inarticulate for a man as intelligent and well-spoken as Chris Evans. It was also one of the weightiest questions that had ever been tossed her way. Cameron held off on answering while she changed lanes and guided the car towards the FDR Drive. She took one more deep steadying breath then said, “It wasn’t meant to happen with Ben.” She shrugged. “Wasn’t meant to happen with anyone that came before Ben either.”
“Are you waiting for marriage, then?” Cameron and her family were Catholic but they weren’t overly strict.
“Not necessarily.”
“Oh. Then what are you waiting for?”
“Some in my family might say I’m waiting for hell to freeze over.”
“I’m being serious, Cameron.”
“So am I, Chris.”
He heaved a frustrated sigh. He’d had conversations like this with Cameron before. When she felt the need to be cagey, there was little else to do but either badger her to death or stay silent. He decided today was a badgering day. He deserved answers. He had a lot riding on this.
“If you weren’t interested in being with Ben or the other two guys before him, or me, for that matter, and if you aren’t waiting for marriage, then what are you waiting for?”
“I’m not sure how you managed to slip yourself into that group. I certainly didn’t lump you into that group.”
He sighed again. “Okay. Let’s go this way. Why have you never told me you were still a virgin?”
“Because, for the love of all that is good and holy, I don’t go around discussing the state of my virginity with my guy friends.”
“So Josh doesn’t know.”
“I’m so not going to answer that.”
“Does Gia know?”
“Gia and I are so close that we are on almost the exact same menstrual cycle so yes, it’s come up in conversation with her.”
Chris blushed. “That was almost a little more than I needed to know.”
“You keep asking asinine questions, you’re going to get more than you bargained for in terms of answers, Evans.”
“Cam, why is this such a big fucking deal? You just admitted to me – without meaning to, apparently – that you’re a virgin. So what’s the big deal if I simply want to know why you’ve waited this long.”
“Because the answer is so glaringly obvious, I can’t believe you haven’t fucking tripped over it.”
“You’re waiting for someone special?”
“Duh.” She took a deep breath and held it for a couple of seconds. When was he going to fucking let up? She blew out the breath at his next question.
“Who?”
“The right guy.” Cameron rolled her eyes and shook her head as she changed lanes.
“Of course, right.” Chris took a deep breath of his own and let it out very slowly. Could it be he wasn’t the “right guy?” He almost cringed at the thought. “I wonder if he’ll realize what a wonderful, precious gift you’re giving him.”
“Oh my fucking God! You cannot possibly be that dense, Christopher!”
“What?” A bubble of hope started growing in Chris’ chest.
“Jesus Christ, Chris, come on. This is pathetic, even for you.” Cameron was fairly vibrating with aggravation. She glanced over at him and was shocked to find not one bit of guile on his handsome face. There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes, though. Did he really have no idea? Worse than that, did he really think her so cruel? She turned her eyes back to the road. “Chris, why is it so important for you to know why I’ve waited to have sex?”
“Because,” he said softly, “I was hoping I would be your first. And I was hoping you were thinking along those same lines. Don’t misunderstand, I’ll take you any way I can get you but…I really would like to be your first.”
She felt her heart melt into a puddle of goo. “You are such a big dummy…but you’re also the most perfect human being I’ve ever been privileged to meet.”
“Um, thanks? That was a really lovely thing to say, Cam, but what does that have to do with the subject at hand?”
“And here I thought you knew me so well.” Cameron finally smiled. “Chris, a ghra, if you aren’t my first – my only, actually – then I’m joining a convent. And as I don’t fancy being called Sister Mary Cameron for the rest of my days…”
Chris choked on a laugh. “Babe…?”
“I kind of decided that a long time ago, Chris. I just can’t believe you didn’t see it. Look, this will all make a lot more sense in December, a ghra. I’ve got some things I need to take care of, then we’ll make some time to just be alone and talk. I think you’re going to like what you hear. But I just need you to be patient, Chris. All things considered, sweetie, December really isn’t all that far away. Time flies when you’re making movie magic.” She smiled and winked at him.
A thoroughly thrilled – and deeply besotted – Chris returned her smile. “I’ve waited this long, Cameron. What’s a few months more? Christmas is my favorite time of year, anyway. I think you’ve just given me that much more to look forward to this holiday season. In more ways than I can count, apparently.”
She laughed. “You know me: I aim to please.”
“You always do. Remind me to kiss you until you can’t see straight once we get home.”
Cameron laughed. “Before or after the lasagna?”
“After.”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “Seriously?”
“Hey, a man has to have his priorities, you know?”
The sound of their laughter filled the car.