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It had taken Furina some time to acquaint herself with her new life. There were of course many inevitable changes that came with her fall from divinity — less extravagant meals, having to cook said meals... laundry. Though Furina had found her new life to be mundane, it was pleasant nonetheless.
For one, not having to deal with a looming threat at all times had been of great relief to her, not to mention being able to make her own choices now was a privilege she greatly appreciated. She was thankful to now be able to live her days, though numbered, quietly… freely.
Furina had also quickly learnt that human life was simple. Though an end was imminent, holding on to little pockets of happiness through her days had easily made her look forward to the next. Yes, many things have changed in Furina's life, she was not the woman she once was, and yet there was one happiness that had, and will always remain a constant, divine or not — and that, was the presence of her Dragon.
She had initially struggled to believe that someone of Neuvillette’s sanctity would continue to associate himself with her the way they once had, yet he had made it clear that he was to be by her side, every step of the way. Thus, it was not hard for them to fall into the love they had sworn once again. The Vision strapped onto her waist serving as a reminder of his oath — of his claim.
He had gone above and beyond in providing her with all that she needed and more. Many times Furina had found herself needing to remind him that she in fact did not need this much mora sitting in her savings, but he had always argued with the same simple rebuttal — “I would have spent it all on you anyway”.
The first time Clorinde had visited her new humble abode, a stark difference to the lavish home she had once lived in, she had expressed her worry on her new living conditions, even offering to take on the expense of a finer place herself, but Furina had simply reassured her that this was her choice.
Truthfully, if it had been up to Neuvillette, she would be living in extravagance, adorned in only the best, but Furina had to put her foot down, she was merely a simple human now — a simple human life has no need for extravagance, a simple human life has no need for grand stage. And it was that very stage, or, her return to that stage, that Furina had constantly found Neuvillette and herself in disagreement about.
Neuvillette had been insistent on Furina's return to the stage, claiming it was a shame for her outstanding acting talents to never be used again. It was in part a selfish desire for him to see her perform once more, but he had also known how much joy performing had brought her, finding it difficult to understand why she would not do it once more... sensing there was more to her usual reasoning.
“I apologise Furina, but I simply do not understand.” utters the Chief Justice as he stands facing the kitchen sink.. washing dishes. In their newfound time spent together, he had made an effort to join her even in the most menial of tasks. He had even at some point offered to cook their dinners, his dishes coming out perfect for his taste, though a little too watery for her — Thus, eventually finding himself on dish duty. Neuvillette however had expressed his enjoyment of dishwashing, claiming there was a therapy in feeling the running water gliding down his hands as he scrubbed the plates clean.
Choosing to temporarily ignore his words, Furina gazes upon Neuvillette’s back. Like this, with his outer robes discarded leaving him in only his inner white shirt, she felt her heart fill with warmth, she had truly come to understand the term “domestic bliss” that she had come across many a time when reading her novels.
Tuning back into the conversation at hand, Furina responds — “I have explained myself countless times have I not? Centuries of pretending to be a different person has exhausted me of all desire to act, the art itself is now tainted to me, I am not sure what is so difficult to understand here Monsieur” she states while walking out towards her living room, slowly sensing his draining patience.
Feeling herself grow nervous, she makes her way onto the couch, curling up in the corner. She knew the Iudex had only pushed this conversation out of concern, sensing something amiss, but she could not help but compare the situation at hand to one of the past, visions of her trial flashing through her mind. The last time he had lost his patience with her secrecy, he had closed his eyes to her distress, and though she knew it was for the best and held no ill will, it was still a memory that haunted her regardless. Quickly, she forces herself to shut down her thoughts before he walks in, not wanting Neuvillette to pick up on her anxiety and worry any more than he should, though her efforts would soon prove to be a waste.
“Perhaps I would understand better if I knew you were not keeping things from me Furi-“ — he stops in the middle of his sentence, noticing her frown and furrowed eyebrows, clear fear seeping from her eyes. Slowly, he walks over and joins her on the couch, immediately reaching forward to lift her and reposition herself onto his lap instead. The couch had always been a tight fit for them, considering the size of Furina’s apartment coupled with the Chief Justice’s height, but they had always enjoyed the excuse of being this close to one another — “clingy” as Clorinde had once muttered under her breath when catching them in an embarrassingly compromising position.
He reaches forward and tucks a lock of her hair behind her ears, slowly bringing his hand to rest on her jaw, while his other hand seeks out her own, intertwining their fingers. Slowly, he takes a breath — “Furina, I simply want you to be truthful with me, be honest with me. I do not doubt that part of your reasoning is truthful, I do not impugn your words, but human or god, your talent and love for the arts clearly stand. I sense that there is more to this than you let on. I have let the mistake of letting secrets fester furtively between us for much longer than they should have, after all that has happened, I refuse for such to happen once more, regardless of its severity”.
Neuvillette continues his reassurance, desperately — “Perhaps you no longer remember, but there was once a time where I had questioned my birth, where this life was to take me, what my place was in this world... and It was you who had asked of me to find the answer for myself, and now, I have the answer. My place was destined from the start to be by your side, with you, for you, only ever you, and for that, there can be no barriers between us. So please, allow me to be your anchor the way you are to me, talk to me… rely on me. Please, trust me”.
Outside, a light rain begins to fall.
He brushes lightly at the tears forming in her eyes feeling the delicate touch of her lashes, letting the droplets fall against the tips of his fingers — giving into his urges, he leans forward to softly kiss her tears away, letting his lips savour the purest form of water he had ever been graced with, incomparable to all else, one he could only describe as heavenly… holy.
Leaning into his touch, Furina lets herself crumble, feeling her resolve come apart at the seams, and finally, with a shaky breath she admits to his name — “I am afraid.”
Neuvillette stifles at her words, but squeezes her hand, encouraging her to continue — “After the trial.. I have become afraid, of crowds… of people watching me. When I think of getting on a stage once more, I remember the fear.. terror, that I felt.. the last time I stood on one.”
Immediately she feels something break within her, flashes of the past playing vividly in her head as she relives the memories of her trial that she so desperately had kept locked, and slowly, she recounts them out loud — “Now when I think of crowds, I remember being chased... I remember them coming after me, wanting to corner me. I remember so desperately, running and running... away from it all, to never be looked at again, just wanting to hide, to disappear. "
Riding on her courage, she continues — “I could hear it all, the mocking, the ridicule, I knew how.. foolish, how weak I looked, and the whispers had made that fact very known. They were mere whispers and yet so, so loud, so clear. I could hear everything while on that stage, every word... I was listening to it all, and yet... nobody was listening to me”.
"The last time I was on a stage, I was tricked to get on with no way out. A moment of what I thought was kindness, of reliance, was a mere rouse to force me on there. Yet, I hold no detestation to that fact... the people of Fontaine had faced death in exchange for my failures, and I had always known that day would come, that all would bear witness to my trial. The plan was executed perfectly, even through my pain, I was able to hold on till the very last minute, all falling into place as it should have... but Neuvillette " — she reaches over, gripping onto his shirt, eyes wide, soul far and gone "I was so, so scared."
"I knew there was no leaving that stage, I was immured there for all to scrutinize — The stares, wide and unforgiving, so cold, so... angry. I stood upon that stage alone, a singular spotlight on me.. all eyes on me."
"All, but yours.” She whispers, broken. "Your eyes were closed, Neuvillette, through it all, you could not even look at me" she breathes out heavily — "So tell me" she begs to his name... "How could I ever return to a stage when these are the memories I am reminded of."
Ending her ebullition of sorrows, she lets her head slump onto his chest, resting her forehead against his heart, feeling his rapid heartbeat as she allows her sobs to echo through the room.
The winds howl as rain falls heavy and fast. As the skies of Fontaine grow darker, the room matches, leaving only a soft candlelight glow to fall against the walls. Neuvillette holds onto Furina, arms wrapped tight around her as he stares ahead, thinking back to various instances where he had noticed a change in Furina's mannerisms. Times when she had willingly shrunk herself when faced with crowds out in public, or when she had stood frozen, timid, upon noticing someone walking towards her way even when he had been by her side. Neuvillette had chalked it up to a self-consciousness emanating from her fall from divinity, but now, he realised it was much more than that. She not only found it exhausting to act, but she also could not face people — the ever-so-human emotion of fear...she is traumatised.
Furina feels him untangle from her, pulling away, she reaches out immediately attempting to stop him from adding further distance, but he is insistent. Fearing that she had pushed too far she speaks up — " Neuvillette what are you do-" but she is interrupted by the sight unfolding in front of her. She watches stunned as he reaches to clasp her hands in his, bringing them to his lips, feeling the ice-cold touch of his skin, all whilst the Dragon Sovereign gets on his knees.
"I have wronged you Furina"
She turns her head to the window finally noticing the heavy rainfall, becoming aware of his heart, sensing the anguish and despair, guilt in his statement. Slowly, she turns back to gaze down at her lover, still startled at the sight. Like this, they were the perfect picture of a god and her servant, on his knees in front of an altar, worshipping. A mere human, yet, still his chosen.
She moves forward joining him on the floor as she takes his face into her hands — "My dear... I never meant for you to feel responsible for my own weakness."
He bluntly responds, "But I am." — Furina was taken aback at his response, noticing the underlying anger in his words, not towards her, but instead, to himself. It was a rare sight to see such an emotion plastered clearly on a man such as the Chief Justice.
"The trial should not have been done." he says, but Furina quickly refutes him — "It did". Taking a shaky breath she continues, "You and I both know there was no other way"
"I would've rather this nation drowned if it was at the expense of your happiness Furina". His irises glow brightly against the darkness of the room, emphasising the draconic vertical pupils of his eyes as he feels control slip from his hands. "Do not speak so easily" she retorts back, feeling herself grow defensive. In some way, through it all, she had been proud of her strength. She had understood her role, accepting the consequences of her choices as is, and if faced with it once more, would willingly do the same.
Pulling her into his arms once more, he states — "Regardless, you should not have been forced into a confession. How merciless were we to have done this to you...to have hounded you. I should have thought about this further before having a hand in such a foolish plan... had I known.." leaving his statement unfinished.
"But you did not know... you forget that you were merely doing what must have been done, the stakes were obvious. In some ways, I equally forced you. In fact, I did not make it very easy for you, with secrets and all, forcing you into such a role. I must remind you, I was once a very stubborn lady" she says with a soft smile. He lets out a soft chuckle at her words — "Once?" he jests, the glow in his eyes mellowing.
Appreciating a break from the tension, she burrows her head into his chest closing her eyes, arms wrapped around each other. As time passes, Furina slowly feels herself growing drowsy, the exhaustion from her earlier outburst creeping up on her. Suddenly Neuvillette speaks — "You are so strong Furina" he says softly, interrupting their silence.
He nuzzles his face into her hair as he states — "Going through such torment for 500 years, all for the sake of this nation that has given you nothing in return. I could not even dream of your forgiveness Furina."
"There is nothing to forgive here my dear, you know our bond and understanding runs much deeper than that. And.." she whispers to his name, "I would not say this nation has given me nothing, it brought us together, did it not?" He pauses at that, letting out a soft exhale, seemingly feeling even a little bashful at her statement. However, unwilling to let the topic go, Neuvillette speaks up one more — "Please let me speak to them, I could address them, remind them of your sacrifices."
She responds, "And what good would that do? These people have no further use for me and I have no desire for glory, I simply just want to rest now. I have been told before that not everyone is so willing to forgive and forget my so-called inaction... and I do not blame them for that, not after the losses suffered. For now... I feel that I must stay with this feeling for a while longer."
"Perhaps it would ease your anxieties to have your peace spoken to them... it would aid you in healing" he answers. She lets out a dry laugh upon hearing his words — " Just to have me thrown into the spotlight once more? No thanks."
"But you should not live like this, you do not deserve to live in anxiety and fear...not after everything you have sacrificed... how am I to go on knowing we have taken away your passion, that we played a part in you losing something you loved" he responds with urgency, desperate to resolve things. "That I played a part"... left unspoken.
She reaches upwards, placing her hand on the side of his face to caress his cheek, and with a soft smile she says — " Well, at least I did not lose everything I love ", she lets out a sigh as she continues — "I suppose you are right... but sacrifices are simply a price to pay." Attempting to reassure him, she continues — " Neuvillette, let us leave this in the past as it is... we do not need to dwell on it further, it does not bother me as much as you think it does." Yet this reassurance would be to no avail, as even she could pick up the uncertainty in her tone, as if she was attempting to assure herself too.
He sighs — "And yet the memories live so fresh inside your mind my little spring..."
They eventually make their way to Furina's bed, with her insisting Neuvillette sleepover for the night. With their bodies intertwined, they both take time to let their conversation sink in silence. Neuvillette absentmindedly plays with strands of Furina's now short hair, as she focuses on the steady beats of his heart. "Do I remind you of your pain Furina?" — he suddenly, albeit softly, asks.
She remains silent, unsure as to how to answer his question. She would be lying if she said she isn't sometimes reminded of the past, but that is common with any ongoing trauma, bouts of memories reappearing as one faces a trigger. But with Neuvillette, it is different, she does not feel the uneasiness she would with others, as such, to put it plainly as "pain" would be wrong.
"You remind me of my strength" she states, "You remind me that I have been strong before, even in my lowest of moments, and that I can do it again." His eyes widened at her words, not expecting such an answer. He squeezes her tight against him, as if she would disappear if were to let go now — "I do not deserve you" he sighs into her hair.
"You know Lumine mentioned something interesting recently," she whispers — "She told me to think of this...freedom as a reward, that I can finally speak my heart. And now, I realise that she is right... the ends of my anguish came with a reward.. for I can love you freely now."
Neuvillette watches as her eyes flutter shut. Softly, he whispers — "I will help you get through this Furina... we will conquer this together.. and one day, you will stand on a stage once more.. and I will be there watching you, to give you my most heartfelt applause..."
And so they both drift off into sleep, holding onto each other through the night, as they would, forever.