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He still remembered it. The voice, the smile, the hands. The way his eyes glinted with good humour and the way he frowned. He did, and it was hard, too hard on him to see his mirror image walking past him every day, being so close, so similar but not the same. It was different than losing his other half, his second personality. Hallelujah was still a part of him, hidden somewhere deep down, waiting for a chance to wrech havoc in his head while Lockon... was not. Not Lockon, he corrected himself, the one they should call by this name was his younger brother, but he was so used to this name, used to call it, sometimes tenderly, sometimes desparately, sometimes annoyed, sometimes sad, and every single time it has made him calm, helped him hold onto his waning sanity along with a pair of strong arms around him and steady breath in his ear. But these arms were not here anymore, and their twins were never going to take the other man's part, not that Allelujah wanted them to. So now he had to drawn his sorrows, dull the memories or maybe make them even more vivid, confuse them with reality because honestly, it was all he had left.