Chapter Text
Laudna pokes her head out from the children’s department office to look at the crowd of families huddled around her coworker, Fearne, leading the toddlers and their families in a welcome song for the story time just beginning. It looks to be a good crowd today, at least twenty families have parked strollers and bags around the department, at the ends of the rows of books. Some bags are even stacked haphazardly atop the display shelves, showcasing back-to-school themed reads for the kids.
One small child being held by their adult is facing away from Fearne and instead makes eye contact with Laudna. She watches their face scrunch up and quickly dives back into the office before the kid can start crying because of the scary lady.
It’s… not an uncommon occurrence. Especially when she chooses to wear her darkened contacts, but she decided not to today.
As much as Laudna loves story time, unfortunately, it just doesn’t work out. She is a rare children’s librarian who, instead of having to do story times, is actively asked not to do them, being redirected to other projects instead. The kids are just too young to be comfortable around her. Which of course is more that the parents and other guardians react poorly and the kids just mirror that. It was truly upsetting at the beginning, but Laudna is still able to interact with the kids through other programs or just by working on the desk in the middle of the children’s department.
And during October, well, it is her busiest programming month by far – she runs something almost every day she works and generally double-programs on Saturdays. She isn’t quite full-time, those jobs can be tricky to get, but it works out for Laudna to only work Wednesday to Saturday. It gives her lots of time to run her small Etsy store on the side.
The Etsy store wasn’t really her idea, Prism, the teen librarian, had suggested it as a solution when she’d complained once of running out of room at home to store her various projects. It helps keep just enough material flowing out the door to make room for other things that draw her crafting attention.
She sits back down at her desk to continue the work she’d abandoned to take a little peek outside the door. School starts back up next week, which means she has just over a month before her October programming kicks off. She has a bunch of programs to plan out, book, budget, and talk to the communications team about drawing up some images for social media posts and some posters to put up around the library.
A small family running late to the story time speed-walks past the office window, a child in a duck onesie being tugged along. Laudna sighs.
She does everything she can think of to make it easier for the kids to approach her, often accentuating her preferred monochrome colour palette with brighter colours, leaving her contacts or tinted glasses off in bright rooms, and leaving Pâté in the office for more conventionally cute puppets and toys while out on the desk. It works just well enough that she doesn’t have to go out and find other work, but it still saddens her on occasion.
The head of the children’s department returns to her desk. Deanna is a shorter lady, but incredibly kind, if a little funky. Laudna loves it. Deep down, she also knows that Deanna is a large part of the reason why Laudna hasn’t been pushed out of the organisation, or at least the department, by now. That and the public employees’ union, of course.
A little while later, Laudna hears Deanna let out a frustrated sigh. Laudna glances over to see Deanna working through her emails, drumming her fingers atop the mouse. “Is everything alright, Deanna?”
Deanna lets out a huff. “Just a request I don’t think we can accommodate for an off-site story time, unfortunately.”
“Oh! Whereabouts and who for?” Laudna leans in closer even though she can’t read the screen over Deanna’s shoulder from so far away anyway.
Deanna scrolls down a little. “There’s an outdoor school about a half-hour up the highway. The director’s reached out to see if it might be possible to set up a story time every so often out there on a Friday, but-”
“That’s when we do our story times here,” Laudna nods in understanding.
“Yeah. We just don’t have any available story staff.”
“We could try a different day?” Laudna suggests. She’d never be able to run the department. She has a hard time saying no, especially when she thinks about the children missing out.
Deanna is quiet. The silence stretches, but Laudna is sure she’s been heard. Sometimes Deanna needs a minute to sort things out. It doesn’t take too long before she fully spins her chair to face Laudna; Laudna has just enough presence of mind not to jump back.
“You love story time,” Deanna begins, trailing off from her thought.
Laudna nods again, her brow knitting together, as she leans back and rotates her chair a little to better face Deanna.
“I could offer you, if you wouldn’t mind going out there? It’d have to be your first stop, unfortunately I don’t have the budget to pay you for your travel both ways, but if you started out there, I could compensate you for your trip back here.”
Laudna is speechless. Pâté whispers in her mind, encouraging her to jump at the opportunity. It takes a moment, but Laudna finds some words, even as they break her heart all over again. “I don’t know that they’d want me,” she says softly, gently, like Deanna is so kind as to forget that children often flee from her accidentally frightening presence.
Deanna snorts. “They don’t really get a choice. They’re asking us for ongoing programming, 30 minutes away from the library, one week before school starts. They dropped the ball. That’s not really the point though, the point is, do you want to do this? Because if you do, I’ll approve it and put you in touch with this Temult person to coordinate the details. If you don’t, then don’t worry about it, I’ll let them know that we don’t have the capacity to take this on.” Deanna pauses. “It’s not like it’s untrue, it feels like our budget shrinks every year.”
Laudna hums in agreement, a frown forming.
Deanna’s voice softens, “I know you love it, Laudna, and that it can be difficult because of social perceptions to get you these opportunities, so if you’re not comfortable with it, I get it. But I also know you’d be out there right now, instead of Fearne, if you thought the families would stay. The kids at outdoor school will have their teachers, but that’s it for outside influences. It might be a good opportunity to get them comfortable interacting with you.”
She laughs. “You might even be a big hit and we can leverage that back here.”
Laudna swallows thickly, “I – you really think the kids might be okay with me out in the woods?”
Deanna nods. “Everyone will probably be pretty bundled up, especially into winter, and what’s to be scared of all wrapped up in a thick coat? Besides, those audio-only story times we put up on the library website? The kids love how you tell a story.”
Laudna flushes faintly. It was on her to-do list to record more of those after October when she had more time. “I – yes, sure, I’d love to try.” She blinks a couple of times, eyes suddenly getting a little misty. “Maybe we should warn the school about me though?”
“You can tell them whatever you want, I’m cc-ing you in my response and letting them know to coordinate with you.” Deanna spins back around to her computer, clicks away at the keys, and then Laudna’s computer pings with a new email alert.
Hello Imogen,
Thank you for reaching out. We have just enough capacity to be able to assist you with a story time every other week for one hour as you requested below. I’ve copied my colleague Laudna so the two of you can coordinate, but they will need to be first thing on Fridays for scheduling needs on our end.
I look forward to hearing about the lovely kids at Gelvaan Outdoor School.
Best regards,
Deanna Leimert (she/her)
Head of Children’s Services
Viduun-Devaar Branch
Jrusar Public Library
Dear Ms. Leimert,
My name is Imogen Temult, I run the Gelvaan Outdoor School. I appreciate that it’s late notice, but this year is shaping up to be our busiest yet with a different class of kids every week booked straight through until the end of the school year. I understand we’re a bit outside of town, but if you and your staff had any capacity at all to come do a story time or two every month, I think the kids would love it.
Sincerely,
Imogen
Imogen Temult (she/her)
Executive Director
Gelvaan Outdoor School
Please note I am not often at my computer, but I will respond to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.
Laudna files the emails away in an outreach folder and dives back into her Halloween planning. Maybe this Imogen person wouldn’t even get back to her. Her email signature certainly suggests that.
Twelve budget spreadsheets later, Laudna feels pretty good about her plans to entertain the kids with all sorts of spoopy fun during her favourite time of the year. Being weird, being fun-scary has always been a skill of hers, one she greatly enjoys even if it does make her life more difficult at times. She stretches in her desk chair, again, feeling her joints creak noisily and her shoulders release a smattering of small pops.
“I’m going over to grab a quick cup from Zhudanna’s,” Laudna says, looking over at her boss. “Do you want me to get you anything?”
“I would kill a man for a London Fog and a cinnamon bun,” Deanna declares, but her eyes never stray from her screen. Laudna smiles widely.
“No problem, I’ll be right back!”
Laudna hangs her wallet from her belt, tucks her staff lanyard with her name tag into a pouch, and sets off down the block to a locally-owned coffee shop, sliding on her sunglasses to protect her eyes from the bright glare. On her way, she texts one of the assistants at the library to see if they wanted anything. While she doesn’t really want to give Ashton the requested medium cup full of straight black espresso, they already e-transferred her more than enough to make it happen.
There isn’t usually a line around 2 p.m., which is for the best. It’s Laudna’s preferred time to grace Zhudanna’s shop – not a lot of folks are around to make her feel unwelcome. She pulls off her sunglasses while crossing the threshold; the place abuzz with phone conversations and a somewhat distracting soundtrack on the speakers.
“Well, hello again,” Zhudanna greets her once Laudna has reached the counter. The poor old woman’s eyesight is not as good as Laudna assumes it must have been, once upon a time.
“Good afternoon, Zhudanna, it’s lovely to see you,” Laudna smiles warmly, resting a thin hand on the counter.
“The usual this afternoon?” Zhudanna asks, already hitting the buttons on the register.
“You know me so well,” Laudna agrees. “I’d also love a medium London Fog, but with Tal’Dorei Breakfast instead of that bergamot tea, a cinnamon roll, and, I’m so sorry, but a medium cup full of espresso – however many shots that takes.”
Zhudanna pauses over the register. “That’s for that colourful fellow, isn’t it?”
“Oh, you know Ashton?” Laudna smiles widely with relief. “They’re such an interesting person, so unique. Yes, it’s for them!”
Zhudanna gives a little laugh. “It’s their body, if they want to overdose on caffeine, that’s none of my business.” She finishes typing in the order. “Alright, dear, tap when you’re ready. It’ll be a few minutes, but I’ll get there, don’t you worry,” and off she went to start pulling espresso shots.
Laudna taps her card against the reader, drops a few coins in the tip jar, and goes to wait by the “Pick Up Here” sign at the end of the coffee bar. She leans carefully against the wall, avoiding the art hanging beside her, and takes a moment to look over the few customers in the shop. She recognises a few, a couple are regulars at the library as well, and one of them looks up and meets her gaze. She sends him a smile and he does a little nod back before returning to his newspaper and his still-steaming cup of what looked to be black coffee.
What steals her attention is the person who just walked in the door, wearing a serious-looking white work shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a tan vest overtop, thin leather gloves, and some well-fitted sturdy-looking pants, the cuffs not quite meeting the leather upper of their dusty boots. They have the most gorgeous lavender curls, but what Laudna quickly hones in on is the terrified look on the person’s face, the way they stop dead just three feet inside the doorway like they’ve hit a physical wall in front of them.
Without thinking about it, without second-guessing, Laudna strides over to the person, stopping a couple of feet away. “Pardon me, darling, but are you alright?” Concern colours her tone. The stranger looks up at Laudna in surprise, the edges of what might be panic in their eyes. Reflexively, Laudna does some box breathing loud enough for the person to hear. In for three seconds, hold for three seconds, out for three seconds, hold for three seconds. Most people can do each step for longer, but three seconds is the comfortable limit for Laudna.
The stranger follows her lead after only a couple of cycles. Laudna smiles softly at them, without showing her teeth, encouraging. She knows they are sharper than average and people have often cited them as evidence for her intimidating presence. Keeping them to herself is hard, her natural inclination is to smile openly, but eventually everyone learns at least somewhat how to make themselves more palatable to others – even her.
“You’re alright,” she says softly, lowering her head slightly. “Zhudanna is a lovely soul who will help you with whatever you came in here for, okay?” They have a lovely smattering of freckles over the bridge of their nose. She wishes she had time to stare and count them – oh, but that’s a weird thing to do, isn’t it. “Would you like me to take you over there? To the counter?” Laudna asks, clearly offering her arm.
Still breathing in a very purposeful way, the stranger nods and lets Laudna lead them over to the counter, one cold hand wrapping gently around a warm elbow. “There you go, you’re doing wonderfully, dear.” Laudna slowly gestures at the various treats on display as they approach. “If you don’t have any restrictions, I highly recommend the cinnamon roll or the spinach and feta danish, depending on if you’re a sweet or a savoury person.” Laudna smiles again and releases the person’s arm. “I’d say you’ve earned such a treat.”
Zhudanna calls over to her, “Here you go hon, you’re all set.” She’s already placed the three beverages into a carrying tray and piled the pastries into the empty slot.
“Thank you, Zhudanna. I’ll see you soon,” Laudna promises, walking over to claim her order. She almost turns away before she remembers her new acquaintance and lets Zhudanna know about them as the woman starts cleaning the steam wand. Her eyesight really is atrocious. She leans in closer to Zhudanna, not quite whispering because her hearing isn’t so great anymore either. “There’s a lovely person over there – I think it might be their first time here. But they’re wonderful.”
“Thanks for letting me know they’re there,” Zhudanna says with a grin. She wipes her hands with a soft-looking cloth, none of that microfibre nonsense, and then hurries over to the counter to help them.
“Have a lovely day,” Laudna calls to them both as the stranger shakily rummages in their wallet, and then she’s out the door, with her glasses back on.
Ashton is waiting for her outside the employees’ entrance, leaning against the railing, no doubt getting chips of flaking paint on their pants. “Thank fuck, you’re my goddamn hero,” they say, no heat to their voice despite the swear. They rescue their cup from the tray and take a generous gulp, impervious to the scalding temperature.
They look deeply into Laudna’s eyes, or as much as they can with her shades on. “I appreciate you so much.”
“My pleasure, Ashton!”
They get the door for her to go on in, but they stay outside to finish their break. Laudna deposits Deanna’s treats on her desk – as the librarian in charge at the moment, she is probably off mediating a patron dispute somewhere in the stacks.
Laudna pulls her lanyard back on, slips her wallet back into her desk drawer, and lifts the lid off of her tea. Zhudanna has a lovely blend she made herself, a mix of green and oolong leaves with a little dried orange and wildflower blossoms. It is exquisite. She removes the small ginger cookie from the bag, holding it carefully between two fingers, and nibbles at it while she sips her tea. When her sunglasses fog, she remembers to remove them and sets them down carefully on her desk
Her computer pings her with a new email.
Hello Ms. Leimert,
Thank you for putting me in touch with your colleague, I appreciate y’all being able to help make this work.
Sincerely,
Imogen
Imogen Temult (she/her)
Executive Director
Gelvaan Outdoor School
Please note I am not often at my computer, but I will respond to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.
And almost immediately after her eyes finish scanning it, her computer pings again.
Hello Laudna,
Thanks a lot for being able to take this on. Friday mornings are great, we can do whenever works best for you. I realise we’re out of the way, but I think the kids will love a little cosy story time after a week of adventuring in the outdoors and, unfortunately, we just don’t have that skill set on site. Please let me know what supplies or materials you may need from us and I’ll get to work on acquiring them for you.
When do you think we can start? Do you have transportation or will you need some? Please let me know if there’s anything else we should be figuring out – I’ve never coordinated with the library before.
Thanks again,
Imogen
Imogen Temult (she/her)
Executive Director
Gelvaan Outdoor School
Please note I am not often at my computer, but I will respond to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience.
Laudna lets a little seed plant itself in her chest. Maybe this would work out. Maybe she could lead story times without kids and their families leaving immediately. She indulges for a moment and frets about whether or not she should warn this Imogen about how kids usually react to her, but… Deanna didn’t seem too worried about it. She’ll try to follow that lead, taking a calming breath.
Hello Imogen,
I will be able to bring most of my materials to the school from the library. For an hour, I usually suggest a couple of songs to open, a story, then an activity together, another story, and a closing song or two. Does that sound alright to you? I find that for that long, children can get a little restless if they’re just expected to sit quietly, but I think breaking the fun up with something a bit more interactive in the middle would be wonderful.
If there are any themes or topics you’d like presented in the story time, do let me know. As well, what ages will you be hosting? Will they differ week-to-week? I understand outdoor school often takes place, well, outside, so will this story time be taking place outdoors as well? If so, an umbrella stand might be useful for any rain to help protect the books.
As for transportation, I have a carshare membership, so I will be able to get out to you and back perfectly fine. I appreciate your concern.
I look forward to working with you and the kids!
Best,
Laudna
Laudna (she/her)
Children’s Librarian
Viduun-Devaar Branch
Jrusar Public Library
Satisfied, Laudna finishes her snack and jumps right back into Halloween planning. Depending on when Imogen gets back to her, she’d have at least a week to plan the first story time and hopefully Imogen would have some helpful guidance about topics and age groups for her. She finishes up the last of the budgets before she goes out to cover the children’s desk for her last hour.
After restocking the displays, doing a general tidy-up of the space, and helping a few children find some alternative options to the incredibly popular graphic novels that were eternally checked out, she leaves the desk in Frida’s very capable hands and packs up for the day, sliding her long dark jacket off the coat rack and around her shoulders.
On her walk home, she stops by a corner grocery market run by a family who’d immigrated to Jrusar almost twenty years ago and now owns a string of five low-cost markets. She picks up some fresh vegetables, trying to be quick about it. While she is on good terms with the owners, the other customers occasionally have real bones to pick with her general presence. A few disapproving glances and one mother steering their child away from her is a small price to pay for such a great deal on a 10-pound box of tomatoes, though.
Strength not being her forte, however, means it is a rather laborious and slow journey the rest of the way home. Well worth it though, once Laudna becomes 95% tomato after canning tomato sauce to store in her freezer and eating her weight in rushed gazpacho and torn-basil tomato salad, the basil fresh from a plant on her kitchen windowsill. It’s truly incredible that it hasn’t died yet, basil is so finicky.
She putters around the kitchen, dealing with her haul into the night, and tidying up when she's done. Then she slips into her second bedroom, long ago converted into her artist’s hidey-hole and now ground zero for her Etsy shop. The clock on the wall shows that it’s already getting late, nearing midnight, but that’s still quite early, really. Laudna pulls out a distressed looking chair and logs into the desktop that she placed on the far corner of the large wooden table in the middle of the room.
The table is a rich mahogany, if a bit worn and scarred, that she’d salvaged from the side of the road a few years ago and had paid some rather intoxicated college students to haul up to her apartment for her. The walls are lined in shelves she’d taken a week to put up, fretting about them being level and sturdy enough for her use. Her work covers them fully, plus extra pieces on the go are strewn across the table.
Logging into her Etsy store, she finds three new orders waiting for her. Thankfully, they are all items that are already complete, nothing she has to make anew immediately. Even though she certainly has the time. After printing off the shipping labels, she folds three boxes meticulously, following the creases and edges with her fingers – two medium and one small – and goes about the room finding the appropriate pieces.
Most of her shop business comes from the fibre arts – knitting, crocheting, quilting, embroidery, and some sewing. On rare occasions, someone purchases some of her more… scary and haunting pieces, her taxidermy or art featuring animal bones, feathers, and beaks. She’s also been known to get messages about commissions – large blankets or custom-sized sweaters, generally. Once, someone asked for a pair of socks with skeletal ravens on them that she probably would’ve done for free if the buyer had asked. VxVess had those shipped to Zephrah and had been willing to pay the extra shipping costs to go that far.
It’s kind of incredible, really, that things Laudna has made with her hands, holed up in this room, have done so much travelling. Especially since it’s been so long since she’s been forced to wander from small town to small town. Those places tended to chew up oddities like her and spit them out just as quickly. Eventually, Laudna had realised that while there are so many more people in a city, they were much less inclined to form a riotous mob to remove her from the area. It’s easier to blend into the shadows when there are so many more of them around.
Laudna folds the items into some light packing paper, recycled and recyclable, before sealing up the boxes and sticking the labels onto the tops. She then tucks them into her wheelie cart, leaving it by her front door. She would take them to the post office on her way to work in the morning. Then she stretches out her limbs, her elbows contributing some new pops, and finally gets ready for bed.
Cosy in bed, with a normal amount of candles lit (eight tealights and one scented candle that smells of roses and “celebrations” – whatever that meant), she cracks open Tusk Love and continues from where she left off.