Chapter Text
Waters. Sicheng, since he was a kid, has been afraid of the waters. No, not the waters. He's afraid of drowning. He is okay with the sea, he grew up with the waters. He knows how to swim, he knows how to surf, so why the hell is there so much water in his lungs- so salty, so suffocating, so collapsing? He tries so hard to breathe, but all that's happening is water flooding his insides, blocking his nostrils to the air.
He is dying. He is dying but not in a pretty way. His death is prolonging, making sure that he will be tortured. His hands are numb, he feels rocks tied to his feet. He can't flail his limbs in any way. He cannot shut his eyes, but he cannot see anything either. It's pitch black… that he's scared of. Dark, scary night; lightless darkness. He cannot even scream, there's just water everywhere. Can I just die already, please?
When Sicheng was a kid, his dad had taken him and his sister on a yacht once, his mom had gone to somebody's wedding. The waters were then a happy blue. Warm and nice. The salty wind was the symbol of his joyous time. When his sister splashed sticky sea water on him, he remembers feeling safe: with the knowledge that he has his people, with the knowledge that if he tripped, two pairs of strong arms were there to pull him up.
Sicheng tries to think why he's here, his ears feel like there's cotton in them. But there is some noise, something there. He thinks he should focus on it. He tries, it is so hard, but he tries, he knows he has to. He needs to. He needs to get out of this scariness.
There is a light at first, But how is there light at the bottom of the sea? Isn't it supposed to be too deep for the light to reach? Right, Kun-ge? But there is light, like heaven's calling. A halo around a massive orb of blinding white. There's a mellow voice, it sounds like a guide, But to what ? It is saying something, as if lulling an infant to sleep, putting it in a cradle and cradling it to the chimes of the charm hanging from the top. Sicheng wants to give up, just sleep, let it go, not try too hard. It's okay, right? If he just wants to listen.
It's his name and it's the voice of his angel. His fairy! His saviour! His messiah! He doesn't know which, maybe all. All he is sure of is that he knows he can stop struggling around and hold on to it and everything will be okay. He just needs to find where the voice actually is, he knows he has to do that. He needs to let the light see him, all he has to do is let his angel see him. Everything will be okay, But why is it so hard? Why can't I just do it?
"Sicheng!" Oh, my angel knows my name! It sounds like it wants him, like it wants him to come to it. As if he just has to follow it and everything will be easy, everything will be handled. He wouldn't have to struggle against the rocks, or the tsunami in his insides. Nothing would restrict his breathing. It's constantly calling to him.
"Baby, please!" The voice is so watery and desperate now. Huh ?
Jaehyun?
"Tulip. Sicheng, baby. Tulip. Red."
"Sicheng. My love, come back to me, please."