Chapter Text
Hanbin has a secret.
A secret he doesn’t know when it started.
Some could say it blossomed during those days and nights they spent perfecting their performance for the final. With all the uncertainty and stress felt by all, he would take a few pauses to observe each and every member in his team, not only to check on their condition but to keep himself grounded and remember to cherish this moment as it would be his final stage to perform with some. Because reality sucks and the reality here was that not all 9 boys in this room were going to make it into the final lineup.
So, yes, Hanbin spent time watching and conversing with each of them, and if you asked him he would say that he spent an equal amount of time with them individually, but in the back of his mind he knew that was far from true.
You see while he did actually try his best to focus all of his attention on whoever he was speaking to, he found his attention straying to a certain blond.
But he would never admit that.
Because accepting that he held any type of desire towards someone other than the man he could see himself spending the rest of his life with, wouldn’t that be cheating?
But he could feel it drumming under his skin.
This voice growling and pushing him to ravage the pretty boy that spent most of his time hanging off of Gyuvin’s arm.
Gyuvin.
That was another issue as well.
“Hyunggggggggggg.”
“What is it gyuvinie?”
Silence.
Trying once again after eyeing the huge puppy of a boy that wore a slight pout, “You’ve been complaining for the past ten minutes but hyung can’t help you if you won’t say what’s bothering you.”
Hanbin could only watch as the younger dramatically flailed his body against the bed as a sort of tantrum before freezing as he formed words in his head to communicate.
Gyuvin sucked at communicating and he knew it. That’s why he found himself in this predicament time and time again. But Hanbin couldn’t judge because although he was well aware of the reason for the younger’s troubles (read: ricky), he found himself cowering every time he considered bringing up his desires for the same boy. He swore he would never but sometimes his self-sabotaging moments would almost dunk him in a situation he wouldn’t be able to get out of.
“Ricky.”
Well that’s one step forward, admitting the issue quicker than usual, Congrats Gyuvin!
“Okay? What about Ricky?”
The brunette just covered his face as one of the biggest frowns known to man formed on his face, “I saw him talking to….you know….”
Hanbin only sighed, “I don’t.”
The boy on the bed quickly uncovered his face and threw him a glare as he spat out,”Jeonghyeon.”
Well that’s one step back. Congrats Gyuvin.
The older had never understood what grudge Gyuvin held against the other. And when he tried to get the other elaborate he would only pull a “if you know, you know” but he didn’t know! And this could partially because he himself had been busy romancing his current boyfriend to witness whatever bothered the younger and also because… well he just didn’t want to think much about the blond so sue him if he purposefully avoided seeing the other often.
So yes Hanbin was slightly unimpressed because really? Gyuvin’s issue of the day was rooted in jealousy?
“Don’t look at me like that Hanbin hyung. I know what you’re thinking but yes i am upset about it! So what? I don’t want to see ricky getting all buddy buddy with him again out of all people.”
“He’s allowed to have friends, Gyu.”
“And I agree, he can be friends with anyone he wants just not him.”, and to further drive his point he crossed his arms and looked to the side out the window.
He’s a kid, Hanbin thought.
He was guilty once again. Gyuvin is a kid.
And yet the older’s late nights thought fill his mind of stealing the candy right out of his grasp.
Putting aside his own feelings for the sake of this conversation having a resolution, he tried again,”Alright and what exactly where they talking about?”
This only further soured the other’s mood.
“I don’t know I mean I did hear Ricky say something about being busy tonight so maybe Jeonghyeon asked him to hang out or something?….I don’t know okay! I just didn’t like how he was looking at Ricky.”
“How was he looking at him?”
“Like… like Ricky is some type of animal he wants to catch.”, he whined, resuming his flailing across the bed,”I didn’t like it make it stop hyunggggggg.”
“Gyuvin you do know we wouldn’t be in this situation if you just told him how you feel right?”
“I know but I can’t.”
Hanbin could only raise his eyebrow, young love really was over-complicated wasn’t it?
“I told you to stop looking at me like that. It’s just complicated, okay!”
“What’s so complicated that’s stopping you from getting with him? I mean this in the most honest way but Ricky is always stuck by your side looking at you for the next step so if not you then who?”
Me, a voice mocked him in his head.
This seemed to have calmed the younger a bit as he sat up from the bed, arms set on his side as he bit his lip, deep in thought.
“Ricky is just so Ricky…”
“What does that even mean?”
“He’s just so…. Ricky.”
Hanbin didn’t know how many times he had been unimpressed in the last twenty minutes but if you asked him he would say it doubled each minute that passed.
Sensing the older’s judgement, Gyuvin tried his best to explain,”When you think of Ricky, you think of an intimidating, tall dude that has a face millions would pay for. But when I think of him… this is so embarrassing don’t look at me… I think of the sweetest and most beautiful person I will ever met. He’s so nice and perfect and sometimes he lets me cuddle him to sleep and take care of him in the morning when he’s still too sleepy and tired to do anything. If I could I would turn him into a cat and take him to the fanciest cat buffets I can find… those have to exist right? Like regular buffets but for cats only?”
“I think you’re in love.”, Hanbin said in the most monotone voice, thankfully the younger was too busy blushing his head off to notice his tone.
“Maybe…. but i’m scared. What if he doesn’t like me back?”
“What if, What if, What if, listen Gyu you can’t live your life spent what if-ing yourself out of possibilities. Yes, there’s the chance that what if he doesn’t like you but there’s also the what if he does. You have to put yourself out there and face the truth: you like him and that’s okay. Now please get out of my room and go confess, I have to talk to Hao about work stuff.”
Gyuvin rushed to the door with a huge smirk on his face as he kept his eyes on the older, “Yeah work stuff. Have fun talking about work with hyung.”,he added an eyebrow wiggle for effect; that only earned him a pillow to his face as he quickly left the room giggling.
He said nothing about the old journal he saw when Hanbin lifted the pillow in that split second.
Hyung is a man of many secrets, he playfully thought as he went on his way to find Ricky.
—————————-
The future is uncertain.
Unless you’re some control freak that plans every second of the day down to what you will eat and at what hour as well as who you’ll be sitting with and where you will be facing after an emergency meeting at the company takes almost all members away, the future is uncertain.
Hanbin finds himself sitting across Ricky.
They’re alone.
Really they shouldn’t be, Jiwoong should be here too but the older had taken the time off to go out and hang out with an old friend.
Everyone knew who the old friend was and if you saw the slight frown on Matthew’s face as the remaining 6 left to finish their photoshoots, no one said anything.
But now Hanbin finds himself sitting across the blond who is too immersed in some video playing on his phone as he eats the take out he treated his leader to. His pick, of course.
The older can only steal glances at the other, the nerves he felt when he realized he would be left alone with the younger still present.
Unfortunately Hanbin was out of luck today because Ricky had caught him staring as his video had come to an end. He quickly rearranged himself, all of a sudden self-conscious about ignoring the other while eating,”It’s good isn’t it,hyung?”
The leader could only smile as he thanked the higher ups for not making the boy across him creeped out by his staring habit.
“Of course it’s good Ricky. I chose it.”, he teased, watching the younger roll his eyes and shake his head.
“It could be worse. One time Gyuvin took me out to some restaurant that his friends had been raving about but it just turned out to be the most bland food I’ve ever tasted and I’ve eaten Hao’s food before so that’s saying enough. He was so annoyed, like a little puppy after being told it’s time to sleep.”
Right, Gyuvin.
It had been nearly two weeks since the conversation he had with the younger and it seemed everything he said had gone from one ear to another. Really, Hanbin didn’t have much hope for him. It didn’t help that a day after they spoke, Hanbin had the pleasure to catch Ricky and Jeonghyeon speaking in what seemed like a heated discussion with the way the younger kept shaking his head while the older grasped his hands. In his defense he was just going for a quick water refill after Gunkwook had spilled most of it while running away from Yujin, but if he took his time to try to listen in to their conversation, well that was something only he knew.
Hanbin finally understood where Gyuvin was coming from and it left a bitter taste in his mouth.
“Speaking of Gyuvin, how’s it going with him?”
That must’ve surprised the blond as he stopped all movement and raised a brow at the other,”Fine? I don’t get your question. I mean it’s Gyuvin we’re talking about, nothing could go wrong between him and I.”
Hanbin knew Ricky knew and Ricky knew that he knew. Just like he knew that under the façade, Ricky was fighting the urge to close off any routes that would lead to a conversation about his best friend and dismiss himself from their meal.
“Of course, you two are inseparable at the end of the day.”, the older airily chuckled, earning a small smile from the blond,”Gyuvinnie has been a bit sad though.”
Ricky’s attention was peaked once again.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“What’s going on between you and Jeonghyeon?”
Ricky wishes he would’ve gone to his room earlier.
“It’s… umm… complicated?”, he hesitated before rubbing his forehead as he shook his head,”It’s nothing of importance really.”
“Look Ricky I don’t mean to pry into your business and I don’t know what exactly you’re doing with him or anyone but I’m coming to you as a friend when I say that if you ever need someone to talk about I’m always here.”
The younger wearily eyed him, food left untouched as he leaned his head against his hand.
“There’s nothing, hyung, really. We’re just regular friends.”
Hanbin prided himself in being straightforward, never one to go in circles when it came to issues that mattered.
“I saw you and him two weeks ago in the cafeteria talking.”
“Okay?”
“I saw the way he looked at you and the way you looked at him. It was different.”
“What’re you talking about now?”
“Ricky he looks at you like how you look at those strawberry cakes Taerae brings you every Sunday morning.”
The blond could only gasp.
“Hyung this is ridiculous. Did Gyuvin speak to you about this? Is this why he’s been sad?”
“Well yes but-“
“Unbelievable.”
It really was, Hanbin would admit. That’s why he gave up and simply stayed quiet as the other angrily typed on his phone.
“I told him time and time again that I feel nothing for Jeonghyeon. Why won’t he listen to me? I mean yes so what if we did things during the show, most of the guys there did too. It’s normal I don’t get why he’s acting like this?”
“What?”
“Hyung please.”
“Ricky… you and jeonghyeon…. did things?”
Resigning to his fate, Ricky simply put his phone down and avoided eye contact as he attempted to save himself,”Hao didn’t tell you?”
Hanbin let in a sharp intake of air.
Of course Zhanghao knew.
“He doesn’t tell me everything.”
“Right….It wasn’t anything like you’re thinking hyung.”
“What am I thinking, Ricky?”
“Just… we didn’t go all the way. It was just… we were helping each other out. You get what I’m saying right?”
Ricky would be ashamed to admit that he was pleading at this point, for what exactly? That he couldn’t put into words.
Thankfully Hanbin knew what he was getting to, and as much as he didn’t want to acknowledge it, he was starting to feel bad for cornering his younger member like that.
“So what I saw…..”
“He’s been stressed from everything the company has been making him do. They’re making him go a few hours away for an event in a week and i don’t know he just wanted to clear things up between us I guess. I know he likes me like how I like those strawberry cakes Taerae hyung brings me but eating too much of those can be bad for your health.”
Hanbin only smiled at the younger.
He assumed that conversation was over and was about to ask him about how debut has been treating him but the blond beat him to it.
“So you and Hao huh?”
A full body shiver exploded all over the leader’s body.
“Yeah….”
——————————
Ricky and Hanbin’s relationship… it was normal, Hao would say. As normal it can be.
I mean they had only known of each other for less than 5 months and 3 of those were spent not actually speaking to each other past “hello’s” and “hi’s” so really Hao couldn’t say much about them other than at least they got along. And he was glad about it too because both boys meant so much to him, in different ways.
Not only did he see Ricky as the younger brother he always wished he had but as someone so pure that was meant to be protected and nurtured. He would always joke with the other trainees that his mother instincts would kick in whenever the younger was near but it was true in a way. That Thursday night when they first met and Ricky was quick to offer to help him out with his luggage, Hao knew. He knew that someone like the younger was a person he wanted to keep close for a long time. Obviously their shared nationality further added to this sentiment. Before it was Ricky and Gyuvin & ZhangHao and Hanbin, it was Ricky and ZhangHao.
And well Hanbin was his soulmate. There’s not much to say because when you saw them together, it was obvious that some things just can’t be put into words. Hanbin was his lifeline. His everything.
Which is why his world nearly came tumbling down on a random Saturday night when they happen to have their day off after the stormy weather forced their manager to cancel all schedules.
That night, the puzzle started to form.
Everything was going well.
Matthew and Taerae were huddled up in the couch sharing stories (read: gossip) of their week, Jiwoong was concentrated practicing his aegyo on Yujin who, surprisingly, was actually being serious and giving pointers on what needed work. Gunwook was busy kicking Gyuvin’s ass in Mario Kart that it was a bit pitiful if you spared a look at the older’s face (Ricky fought to urge to first: make fun of him and second: avenge him! He was going to show Gunwook how a pro of basketball does it.) And he would have of if he wasn’t so preoccupied with helping Hao pick an outfit for Monday’s schedule: the airport. Hanbin could only watch and provide comments here and there when both men would turn to ask for his opinion.
They were all winding down from the long day, once again eating takeout that Ricky was more than willing to pay for if it meant he would eat pizza, when the topic of their days during boys planet were brought up.
“I still can’t believe some of you guys thought I didn’t like Matthew hyung.”, Taerae laughed, sending playful glares at the three oldest members.
Hao quickly defended himself,”You guys never hanged out! Not once did I see you two talk.”
“I’ll have to agree.”, Jiwoong added.
“Pfft as if you two are ones to judge. Mr.Coworkers.”
“Oh my god that was a month ago we’re like friends now.”, Hao gasped not liking one but how he still had coworker allegations with any of his members.
The oldest quickly piped in, finger raised in the air as he adjusted his glasses,”Let’s not go to far now Hao. We reached acquaintance status lest week.”
They all laughed.
“Whatever hyungs I’m going to head back to my room. It’s getting pretty late.”, Yujin mumbled as he stretched.
“It’s barely 9.”, Gyuvin pointed out, earning him a snicker and a threat in the form of a glare from the youngest.
“Ok so?”
Sensing the perfect time to tease, Gunwook nudge Ricky, who was sitting next to him, and loudly spoke,”Bet he’s still trying to get in contact with Ollie.”
“Shut up! I’m not!”
And who was Ricky if not a supportive friend, “Sucks because Ollie changed his number three days ago and I was meaning to give it to Yujinie but if he doesn’t want it then-“
Before he could even finish speaking, Ricky felt a presence looming over him and it didn’t take a genius to know that an angry elementary kid was a wrath you didn’t want to mess with,”Give me the number, Ricky hyung.”
Gyuvin felt left out so of course he had to join in.
“Get away from him.”, he puffed out as he lightly pushed Ricky aside and pulled Yujin to his side. The blond could only mouth out a curse word at him before the youngest was back to begging for the number.
“Fine I’ll send it to you.”
“Yay! Thank you Ricky you would be my favorite hyung if Jiwoong, Hao, Hanbin, Gunwook, Matthew, and Taerae didn’t exist.”
Ricky didn’t know if his feelings should be hurt or not. He took it as a win as the boy next to him realized that he wasn’t any of the mentioned.
Taerae snapped a picture of Gyuvin’s scrunched up face.
Sensing another tantrum on the way that would keep him stuck here for the rest of the night, Yujin freed himself from the other’s grasp and ran to his room after hearing his phone ping with a notification.
“Ricky did Ollie really change his number?”, Hao questioned, confused because no one had updated him on this.
“Yeah he lost his other phone so he had to get a new one.”
“That’s weird I spoke to him this morning and he was still using his old number.”
“Like I was saying, he lost his phone and changed his number but great news! He found his original phone today so he gave the new one away to his grandma.”, Ricky smiled.
“Say it wasn’t Ollie’s grandma from his dad’s side.” Hao pleaded, dread written all across his face.
“NaiNai.”, the younger laughed straight at Hao’s horrified yet amused expression. (Gyuvin would say he looked like an orange cat up to no good but in his eyes Ricky could do no wrong)
When did I get so sappy…. Hanbin’s disease must be spreading, Gyuvin thought, spooked so much he glared at the unaware leader. He wishes he hadn’t because surely his companion, the other half of his 2binz, wasn’t staring at the blond with a look that should’ve been saved for his own boyfriend. Surely not.
Before anyone could talk, a loud yell could be heard,”Ricky! I’m going to kill you!” followed by a polite,”Nice to meet you too I’m Ollie’s best friend from Korea.” The door was slammed to prove a point that could not be verbally expressed at the moment as he was too occupied getting his ear talked off by an overly nice elder that just spoke so slow Yujin could get a migraine.
Gyuvin was like a psychic or something like that. Don’t ask him, he’s not good in math! But that still didn’t take away the slight eureka moment he would’ve had if someone that goes by the name of Matthew hadn’t spoken, so much for connecting the dots.
“Talking about Ricky, I heard something about you back then.”
“I don’t want to know.”,the younger let out a scoff, he knew everyone had suspicions about his relationship with his ‘over me’ teammate at the time so there was no real curiosity as to what the canadian was bringing up.
“You’re no fun.”, Matthew pouted,”Is it true,though?”
Ricky was once again a cornered mouse except this time he was under the attention of 7 other cats. Talk about stage fright.
“Of course not.”
Hao only raised his eyebrow.
“Ok well not fully to the extent you guys are thinking.”
It was Jiwoong’s turn to raise an eyebrow at him.
Seriously was today ‘bother-Ricky-and-raise-an-eyebrow-at-him’ day?
“What?”
“So you and him were together?”, Matthew chimed in, a grin spread on his face (don’t tell anyone but he was team #jeongri back then, sorry Gyuvin.)
“No? I mean not like that at least… we weren’t a thing, we’re just friends.”
“Hate to be that person,” Taerae started, adding a dramatic pause because of course he would,”but did you two like get it on?”
A chorus of protests erupted.
“Oh dude!”
“What the hell hyung?”
“No way.”
“You’re sick.”
“What? What? I thought we were friends. You’re all plotting against me.”, Taerae defended himself, shocked that not one of his group members were backing him up, some of same members he had spent gossiping about this particular topic during those late night talks when everyone was bored out of their mind.
Ricky must’ve been born with no survival instincts or shame because he loudly asked, clearly exasperated,”Why does everyone think we fucked?”
“Well you did spend every second the day together. It didn’t help Seungeon hyung kept complaining about being locked out of his own room while you and Jeonghyeon hyung were nowhere to be found.”
Ricky jumped.
“Why are you here Gunwookie? Oh my god no go to sleep. Shoo Shoo.”, to say the blond was mortified was an understatement. Gunwook was like his kid friend, he couldn’t be here hearing about his harlet moments.
“Hyung I’m just a year younger than you.”, he complained, eyes slightly widening when a dark shadow bloomed from behind Ricky.
Oh right!
Loverboy Gyuvin is weirdly possessive.
“You are all insane.”, Jiwoong chuckled,”Leave him alone. If he says it’s something that’s over, it’s over.”
“Thank you Jiwoong hyung.”,Ricky let a sigh, glad at least someone was advocating for his freedom.
Unfortunately there were always evil forces opposing victims from rejoicing.
The evil force in this case came in the form of a lanky, clumsy brunette that Ricky had the (dis)honor of calling his best friend.
“If it’s so over like he says then why does jeonghyeon keep calling and texting him every night? That sounds like a ‘goodnight babe kiss kiss i miss you so much i wish you were here’ thing to me.”, Gyuvin snarled, arms crossed as he glared at the boy next to him.
Taerae cringed, silently eyeing the canadian sitting across him who returned the look.
“You’re unbelievable.”, Ricky laughed, no humor in it,”I cannot believe you want to do this again.”
Not amused about their situation, Gyuvin uncrossed his arms and turned the other way,”We wouldn’t be doing this if you just told him you don’t want anything from him. Or better yet just introduce him to us as your boyfriend if you do like him. Why are you hiding things from us?”
“What are you even talking about? I’m not hiding anything from anyone.” the blond stated no longer paying mind that they weren’t alone,”What’s it to you anyways? Even if we did have sex, it has nothing to do with you.”
Gyuvin quickly stood up from his seat, as if burned,”What’s it to me? Ricky you’re my best friend!”
Not liking this heigh difference one bit, the blond stood up as well,”Which is exactly why I don’t understand why you don’t believe me when I say there’s nothing between Jeonghyeon and I. You know what? I’m done talking to you.”
“Fine!”
“Fine.”
Both boys slammed the doors to the rooms they entered for dramatic effect. The issue was that out of anger, Gyuvin entered Hanbin’s and Hao’s room because well Ricky and him were kind of roommates so really where was he supposed to go?
“Well that was awkward”, Gunwook mumbled, looking around the room with a nervous smile on his face.
Hao was grimacing at the scene. He knew they should have all gone to bed whenever their youngest did.
Hanbin could only scratch the back of his head.
Unbeknownst to him, an angry Gyuvin meant an angry crying session that would soak up his pillows with tears as he hugged it close to his body. A pillow that hid the old journal he had seen a few days ago.
——————————
It had been a week since their argument.
And they were fine!
Ricky would say they officially made up for the sake of their shared love of the arts; in this case being Matthew’s self-portrait.
“You definitely did something, i’ll tell you that.”,Ricky spoke, holding back a laugh as he held onto his best friend to ground himself.
“What is that supposed to mean?”Matthew gasped as he feigned offense,”I have you know it took me 2 hours to finish this.”
“Did you fall asleep for most of that time? No offense but even I could do better than that.”
“Critics! Everyone wants to be a critic nowadays whatever happened to getting a job.”,Taerae said as he made his way out from the kitchen and towards them,”It can’t be that bad.”
“Tell them Taerae.”,the canadian smiled, proudly showing off his painting.
If Ricky would have known that the next few seconds would’ve been one of the funniest this week, he would have pulled out his phone to record.
To say that Taerae’s expression shifted in a matter of seconds would be an understatement. One second he was smiling and the other he has grimacing as he let out a small,”Oh.”
Matthew’s mouth dropped,”What the hell?!”
“I don’t think this is your calling. Let’s just stick to dancing and singing, okay hyung.”,Taerae awkwardly smiled as he put his arms around the older and guided him back to their shared room.
The younger duo could only laugh at the retreating figures.
“Hey.”,lightly nudging the blond, Gyuvin whispered.
Ricky could only push back as he mumbled out a shy,“Hi.”
“I have this restaurant I found last night. I think you would like it.”
“Hmm I’m not sure… my tastes are picky after all.”,Ricky said as he put his hair behind his ear, at least that what’s he attempted to do but apparently his hair isn’t long enough anymore; he’ll have to have a word with the hair stylists. Someone took that inch of hair away from him, he swears he could once tuck it back.
The brunette stroked his imaginary beard as he added,”Their menu did mention having a strawberry trifle cake somewhere in there but maybe that won’t be enough to satisfy you.”
“Are you insane? Hurry hurry let’s go!”, the older panicked, tugging his friend after seeing him remaining in his spot,”Gyuvin I’m so serious this can be a life changing moment for me! I’ve been experiencing withdrawals.”
“Taerae just brought you a slice on Sunday.”
“So? What’s your point?”
“It’s barely Tuesday.”
“Why do you hate me?”, Ricky jokingly complained while continuing to tug on the other’s sleeves.
“I could never. Come on let’s go I heard they have a two for one special if you go in couples.”, Guyvin said as he took the older’s hand into his (to drag him out their dorms of course don’t be silly he would never willingly want to hold hands with his best friend).
By the time Hao and Hanbin had woken up, the self-proclaimed cat and dog duo were long gone.
The day had been pretty uneventful too since promotion weeks had ended yesterday and their manager had blessed them with the news that they would have a free week before they got back to work. Naturally, half of the members didn’t get up past noon with the exception of Matthew and Taerae that were busy scheming against the culprit that drank all the apple AND orange juice (it was Jiwoong, nothing would happen to him. At least, not that day.)
By the time evening rolled around, Gyuvin and Ricky walked hand in hand as they laughed about some story the brunette was animatedly recounting.
If Yujin could whistle he would have but he resigned to his flaw and simply clapped his hands three times,”Well well well if it isn’t the two lovebirds.”
“Shut up Yujin.”,Ricky mumbled, not sparing him a glance as he continue to focus his attention on the boy hanging off his arm.
Yujin was waiting for Gyuvin to avenge him but it never came. Fake love, he mentally scoffed, So much for being your son.
Just as he was about to complain about this injustice, Hao came strolling into the room with Hanbin close behind that, hands intertwined.
“Lovely seeing you two.”,the older teased.
“You look like shit.”
The oldest’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Hanbin hyung of course.”, Gyuvin grinned, fear flowing through his body at the idea of getting scolded by the Chinese man.
“Come on Gyuvin I want to show you the video I was telling you about.”,and did the brunette ever have a choice when it came to Ricky? Nope! So he gladly let himself get dragged to their room, the goofiest smile on his face as he winked at Hanbin further drive his point.
Ricky was his and his alone.
~~
That night he spent crying his eyes out in the couple’s room, his hands came in contact with an interesting thing that came in the form of an old journal.
Gyuvin liked to snoop around. Sue him! He was just a curious teenage boy.
That’s how he found himself with a handful
of a worn brown diary, hesitating before opening it up and seeing a blank page.
He really should’ve assumed it was brand new and put it back to its original place but somehow the page had been turned before he could even blink. At times, he was a victim to himself.
By the end of the the first page, he felt lightheaded.
By the end of the most recent page, he was left feeling a sickly anger and betrayal brewing under his skin that his original problem was long forgotten.
~~
When he thinks of it, he knows he should’ve confronten their leader as soon as he read his entries but something in him held him back. Not only was it dread for what it lead to between the members because surely if anyone else became aware they would all find out by the end of the day, but also fear as to what would this would mean for Ricky and him.
So yeah he was being selfish about it.
That’s not to say that he hasn’t been acting differently towards the other. Even Ricky has noticed and asked him about the recent influx of snide comments he has been making about their leader. Gyuvin was grateful that a simple promise of a strawberry milkshake was enough of a distraction for the blond.
Somehow, though, tonight was different.
“What’s wrong?”
“I should be asking you that, Ricky. You’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes like I did something to you. Spit it out.”
“Fine. But don’t get mad.”, Ricky nibbled on his bottom lip before continuing,”I want to know why you’re acting like that towards Hanbin hyung.”
Oh.
There’s three routes Gyuvin could take here: denial, distraction, or confession.
Naturally, he chose denial.
“What do you mean? I’ve been acting the same towards everyone.”
“You’re bullshitting, Gyuvin. I know you know what I mean.”
“Ricky please.”, the younger pleaded as he gave out the most disgustingly sweet puppy eyes the blond had ever witnessed.
“Fine whatever come on I’ll put the video.”, and with that the boys were cuddle up in bed, the blond caged in by Gyuvin’s arms that wrapped around his waist; chest to back.
Peace and bliss was temporary.
Everyone was scattered around the dorms doing their own thing, which is why Hao did not expect one of the biggest jumpscares he had ever experienced in his life to occur to him that night.
He and his boyfriend were cuddle up in the living room couch, having spooked Gunwook back to his room after he noticed them preparing for their weekly movie night.
The members had walked in in enough situations to know that you don’t want to be left alone with those two.
“You are such a sap! I can’t believe you want to watch the notebook again.”,
“Says the one that always cries at the end.”
“Hey! It’s a very emotionally exhausting movie.”, the older pouted, giggling when his lover pecked it away.
Before Hanbin could respond, the sound of arguing began to get louder.
They both had an idea of where it coming from.
With how loud it was getting, it was to no surprised that in a mere seconds all the other members had gathered up outside the closed room.
“Gyuvin please don’t start again!”
“No fuck that, Ricky! I thought you said he knew that nothing was going to happen between you two.”
“He does! Okay! He knows! I don’t know why he said either Gyuvin. You have to believe me!”
Still deeply angered and annoyed, the brunette snatched the door open, paying no mind to the group surrounding their door as he made his way to the living room.
He was always told that it’s best to walk away if things get too heated.
And he tried but when you have a stubborn and persistent person like Ricky in your life, it’s a bit hard to do so.
“I’m not done talking to you Gyuvin!”, the blond called out, following the other out the room, ignoring the members that silently trailed behind him.
“Well I am!”
“You are so full of shit! I fucking wish he would’ve fucked me! I mean I’m getting accused of something I didn’t do. If you want it to be true so bad, then maybe I will take him up on his offer!”
Gyuvin snapped his head to look at the other, hurt evident in his eyes,”You are such an asshole.”
“And you’re a fucking coward.”
“Alright alright you two break it up.”,Hanbin interjected before things got too heated and more nasty words were said.
Unfortunately Gyuvin was not done anymore. Something about Hanbin interfering and trying to play peacemaker itched him the wrong way.
“Oh I’m the coward?”, the brunette mocked as he turned to the leader,”Hanbin hyung!”
“Yes?”
“You said to not live a life with regrets right?”
“Uh yeah?”
Hao should have minded his business tonight.
“The journal.”
Hanbin paused. There’s no way Gyuvin, of all people, knew. He rebuked it.
“Tell me why the fuck you’re thinking about MY boyfriend in explicit ways.”
Hanbin should see a priest soon.
Or at least he would if his world wasn’t spinning around and why is it getting so dark here all of a sudden?
Ah….
He’s fainting isn’t he?
“Hanbin!”
“Hyung!”
“Oh my god.”
Yup!