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The Traveler and Paimon were back in Sumeru, so, of course, Cyno had heard about it. Nothing got past the General Mahamatra, especially not when he was actively waiting for someone. During his recent trip to Mondstadt for the Windblume festival, Cyno had discovered that the Traveler was a naturally gifted TCG player. They were very unassuming and didn’t boast about their cards or deck build, but they were undeniably one of the best players Cyno had come across. Which was rather frustrating given Paimon had let slip that they had only been playing for several months – in fact, Cyno had known them for longer than they’d been playing.
So, when the Traveler graced the land of Sumeru again, Cyno had to set up a TCG night. During the Windblume festival, a new set of cards had been released, but there had not been enough time for him to sit down and fully consider each card’s worth and rearrange his deck – he had been too busy sight-seeing, eating, and playing the game with the abundant number of players hanging around the Cat’s Tail. They really needed a similar local establishment to pop up in Sumeru City…
Since then, Cyno had found time to incorporate some of the new cards into his deck, and he was ready to challenge the Traveler once more. One game was not satisfying, so of course he invited the usual crowd to play too, to make it more like a mini tournament.
The Traveler was happy to oblige and entertain Cyno. It was always fun to be invited to things like this – a night of just hanging out, no world-saving to do, no commissions to worry about. Unless they considered Cyno’s request to be a commission. If so, it was at least a group commission – Tighnari, Collei, Alhaitham and Kaveh had also been dragged into it. Paimon didn’t think this was work in the slightest – all she had to do was babble on as usual and eat the food someone else was paying for.
“Get the curry shrimp,” Kaveh said to Alhaitham, who was the person doing the ordering, mainly because he was the least interested in Genius Invokation TCG, and the one with the most expendable income.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“It’s expensive and shrimp is not my favourite.”
Kaveh had other tricks up his sleeve. “Traveler, Paimon, have you had the opportunity to try curry shrimp?”
Paimon hummed and the Traveler put a hand to their chin as they tried to recall.
“Paimon can’t remember. But doesn’t everyone tweak their curry recipes slightly? Even if we’ve had it before, it probably wouldn’t taste the same as what they make here.”
Kaveh grinned. “I couldn’t agree more, Paimon! So, Alhaitham, you should treat them to a bowl of curry shrimp, don’t you think?”
Alhaitham sighed. “If you two want some, sure.”
“Paimon wants some!”
The Traveler shrugged, not bothered either way.
“Is there anything else you want, Kaveh?” Alhaitham asked.
“No,” Kaveh said with a sweet smile, as if he hadn’t just bullied Alhaitham.
Alhaitham made sure that when he stood up to go and order his cape smacked Kaveh in the face.
“You two are so funny,” Paimon said. “I could watch you all day.”
“Much funnier together, I agree,” Tighnari jumped in. “Before Cyno connected the dots, we had to listen to Kaveh rant about his roommate without context. So much funnier when you know it’s Alhaitham he’s talking about.”
“I didn’t moan that much…” Kaveh said.
“I think you’ll find you did,” Cyno said, finally finished reorganising his deck based on what he’d seen the Traveler play with against Collei. “Tighnari said that one time you talked about Alhaitham for as long as I took to explain one of my best jokes. Actually, Traveler, I think you’ll enjoy this one –“
“Anyway,” Collei quickly slid in, “I think it’s time for the next round, don’t you think?”
Easily distracted, Cyno consulted the chart he’d drawn up. “Next up is Tighnari and Alhaitham.”
“Yes, I’m back.” Alhaitham effortlessly moved Kaveh’s chair over so he could sit opposite Tighnari to play.
“You could just ask me to move,” Kaveh complained.
“You like it when I show off how strong I am.”
Kaveh huffed and turned away from Alhaitham to focus on those not playing. “Honestly, how he managed to make friends with you two without me being there is a miracle I am sad to have missed.”
“Eh, we make friends with everyone,” Paimon said. “The Traveler and Paimon were born with natural charm! But you still managed to become friends, right?”
“Even if you’re not including me, I can still hear you,” Alhaitham said as he made his first roll.
“Let’s go elsewhere to gossip about the Acting Grand Sage,” Kaveh suggested.
Alhaitham hooked his foot around the leg of Kaveh’s chair to pull him closer. “Stay here.”
“Can’t you two just be nice to each other?” Paimon asked. “You’re like an old married couple!”
“Well, we are,” Alhaitham said without looking up from the table where he was selecting his first card.
The rest of the group might have missed this, or assumed Alhaitham was joking, if not for the fact that Kaveh seemed to get very annoyed.
“Haitham!” he hissed, slapping the other’s arm.
“What?” Alhaitham asked. “Don’t you think our friends should know?”
“Well…”
“First, you don’t want people to know you live in my house, and now you don’t want people to know we’re married. What am I allowed to tell people about you?”
Before Kaveh could say anything, Tighnari asked, “How long have you been married?”
“Uh…”
“You don’t even remember?!” Kaveh looked exasperated when he realised Alhaitham didn’t know their first anniversary was coming up. “I give up with you!”
“Well?” Tighnari prompted.
“It’ll be one year in 17 days.”
All eyes turned in Alhaitham’s direction, but the Acting Grand Sage was calm and collected – no one could tell if he had truly forgotten or if he had been planning to answer with the exact number of days, hence his hesitation.
Cyno broke the tension. “I believe congratulations are in order. It’s amazing that Alhaitham is married – I never thought he’d snag a date, let alone a spouse. And congratulations to Kaveh for…” Lasting this long. “…being the lucky husband.”
“So, this is what he meant when he said they weren’t friends,” Paimon whispered to the Traveler. “Paimon never would have guessed.”
“I heard that the person you marry is supposed to be your best friend,” Collei said, overhearing Paimon’s loud whisper.
“I don’t want you all to go away with the wrong impression,” Kaveh said as the curry shrimp arrived at the table. “So, allow me to recount the story of our marriage.”
Alhaitham shook his head. “One minute you don’t want anyone to know, and now you’re going to tell them everything?”
“Well, the cat’s out of the bag, and I trust this lot not to go around telling the whole of Sumeru.”
“I’ll be honest, I’m surprised you didn’t already let word out while you were drunk.”
Kaveh made a shooing motion. “You play your game while I entertain the others. It was a rainy evening…”
Kaveh was reading up on the different kinds of wood available in Mondstadt, trying to draw inspiration for his next project. Alhaitham lay on the sofa opposite him, reading an unnecessarily complicated book as usual.
“Do you want to get married?” Alhaitham asked.
Kaveh paused and looked up. Had he heard that correctly? “What?”
“I asked if you wanted to get married.”
The question affected Kaveh in a way that was interesting to watch; he seemed shocked, delighted and angry all at once. “Haitham – you! Are you - are you seriously asking me like that?!”
“Yes. So, are you interested in marriage?”
Suddenly, Kaveh realised he might have jumped the gun. “You do mean with you, right?”
Alhaitham shrugged. “In general. Do you, at some point, wish to get married?”
Kaveh could only hope he didn’t look too embarrassed. “I…I suppose if I find the right person. I do consider myself to be the romantic type who would like to declare my love like that. What’s brought this question up?” He craned his neck to see if the book was somehow related to the topic.
“I just needed to know if it was something you were interested in. Some people think marriage is a waste of time and money.”
In that moment, Kaveh believed Alhaitham was referring to himself. That moment did not last long.
“Kaveh, will you marry me?”
Once again, the blond’s face started to cycle through emotions, with anger clearly winning.
“For tax purposes,” Alhaitham added.
Kaveh had looked like he was about to do or say something, but everything stopped when he heard those words. “You… You’re absolutely serious, aren’t you?”
“Completely.”
“There is not a romantic bone in your body, is there?”
“Were you hoping I’d bend down on one knee and ask?”
Kaveh frowned. “I was hoping you’d ask me out on a date first, actually.”
“You’d marry me for…non-tax purposes?”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but I’d like to…” Kaveh cleared his throat. “Try falling in love with you.”
Alhaitham turned to Kaveh. “That is not what you said. And couldn’t you come up with a better fake line?”
“Oh, you want me to tell them what I actually said? It’s not appropriate for young ears.”
“I think Collei is old enough to know married people usually have sex for the purpose of procreation.”
Kaveh brought a hand to his face. “Right, because that’s something that applies to us.”
Cyno’s eyes were wider than Collei’s at the admission. “You are full of surprises, Alhaitham.”
“The exact words I said are not important,” Kaveh continued.
“He said ‘I would like to try getting into your pants,’” Alhaitham supplied.
Kaveh refrained from recounting exactly what happened after that line for his audience, but it went a little something like this:
Alhaitham put his book down. “Alright.”
“Alright?” Kaveh repeated, heart suddenly pounding in his chest as his brain hurried to catch up with the implication.
Before he knew it, Alhaitham was standing in front of him, crotch thrusted forward. “There are four buttons.”
Kaveh could only stare, firstly at the crotch in front of him, and then up at Alhaitham. “Are you serious?!” He stood up to be level with the scribe. “I can’t marry a guy like you! You’re so…so…!” He hated this man so much; how could he not want to fuck him? “At least kiss me first before we do anything else!”
Alhaitham reached up to gently cup Kaveh’s face, brushing a thumb over his bottom lip before leaning in for a kiss – soft, slow, and just long enough for Kaveh to want more. “Better?”
So, he did know how to do this properly? Alhaitham’s other hand was at his back, slipping through the window of his shirt to gently caress his skin.
“Alhaitham…” Kaveh felt like he was being toyed with. “Do you want to do this?”
“Yes.”
“O-oh…” He had been expecting him to say no. “Just so we’re on the same page, what exactly are you thinking about doing?”
Alhaitham’s shoulders began to hitch in a shrug, and Kaveh’s eyes widened in disbelief. “I’m not really sure. You said you wanted to get into my pants, so I imagined you would lead.”
“And what did you think I would do?” He had to know that Alhaitham knew where this was going.
“Maybe suck me off, or ask me to fuck you.”
Thank the archons. “I’ll do both.”
“You will?” Alhaitham was surprised. “You like me that much?”
Kaveh ran a hand down Alhaitham’s chest. “Despite you being the way you are, you are, in my opinion, one of the hottest men in Sumeru, so I, unfortunately, am willing to do many things to get a bit of dick from you.”
“I see…” He hadn’t realised Kaveh thought of him like that, but that was simply because Alhaitham was blind in that department.
“I thought you’d be harder to get,” Kaveh admitted as he let Alhaitham lift him and move to the bedroom. “But I’m guessing you’re quite serious about getting your tax benefits.”
“Senior Kaveh was always the prettiest person in the Akademiya,” Alhaitham said as he laid Kaveh on the bed. “I’m not going to deny having his lips around my cock.”
Kaveh was usually quick with comebacks, but he stumbled over the fact that Alhaitham had just complimented his looks. “You think I’m pretty?”
“Didn’t you hear me?”
Well, it was worth a try to get Alhaitham to say something else along those lines, Kaveh thought as he started undoing the buttons on those tight pants Alhaitham loved wearing. “I thought you might have a few more words for the prettiest man you’ve seen.”
“The prettiest person,” Alhaitham clarified. “I wouldn’t want you to go away thinking I believe I’ve seen a woman prettier than you.”
Kaveh wished he’d never tried fishing for compliments – this was too much! He said it so factually, as if that wasn’t what so many people they’d studied alongside wanted to hear from Alhaitham. “Do you not like women?” He might as well ask all the burning questions he had in this moment; with his hand hovering above Alhaitham’s clothed cock, he felt quite powerful.
“I don’t like anyone,” Alhaitham said. “Not in the way you’re alluding to.”
The metaphorical music stopped, and Kaveh’s hand remained hovering. “But you just said…”
Alhaitham cupped Kaveh’s face in his hand, and it was a good angle. “You are very pretty, but it doesn’t mean I’ve been thinking about fucking you. You’ve offered, I’ve accepted.”
Kaveh wished he’d never asked. He had more questions, but he didn’t want to hear Alhaitham’s answers, knowing they’d probably be disappointing compared to the answers Kaveh wanted to imagine him saying. Instead, he freed Alhaitham’s cock and put it in his mouth to make sure he remained silent.
“Why did I accept?” Alhaitham voiced Kaveh’s question for him. “It’s so obvious that’s what you want to know, Kaveh. There are two reasons. Firstly, I am only human, and deep down, my body wants this. Secondly, we need to establish if we’re sexually compatible, or if our marriage will be a sexless one. It could lead to extra-marital affairs…”
“Alhaitham, would you shut up?” Kaveh asked. “And focus on having your cock sucked?”
“If I distract myself, I’ll last longer.” He knew that if he focused on Kaveh and what his tongue was doing, he would come too soon.
“You need a distraction already?” Kaveh asked. “Why don’t you see to me, then?”
Alhaitham’s knowledge in this department came primarily from books and porn (not that anyone would ever catch him with it), so he had a theoretical knowledge of what to do. Luckily, he could feel Kaveh’s cock swelling between his legs, and he was pretty confident with how to handle that. It was all about confidence – no practical experience necessary if he could fake it until he made it.
He toyed with Kaveh’s cock as he removed the blond’s clothes. It was strange to be touching his roommate so intimately after spending many months trying to not even brush past each other, but it was also deeply rewarding. Kaveh was vocal about his pleasure, letting slip small gasps and moans that made Alhaitham’s ears burn. He took his earpieces off of his own accord so he could hear them better (Kaveh could not help smirking at this).
Alhaitham became enamoured with the noises Kaveh was making, stroking his cock in all the different ways Alhaitham liked to see what Kaveh responded to best. However, Kaveh put a stop to his ministrations.
“Haitham, I want you to fuck me.”
Oh, right, that was probably going to get some great sounds out of Kaveh. The blond rolled over so that he was on his front, ass high in the air as he winked at Alhaitham.
Confidence. Alhaitham knelt on the bed, hands grabbing Kaveh’s ass cheeks and giving a good squeeze as he swam through his horny haze to figure out what he was missing here.
Condom. Rule one of safe sex! It had been drilled into him as a teenager that this was a necessity, but he didn’t have one to hand. Did he just skip that step? It’s not like Kaveh could get pregnant…
Communication. Rule two of good sex? He had to ask. It felt weird to bring it up now, but he couldn’t go on like this.
“Kaveh,” Alhaitham bent over him, gently tucking his hair behind his ear. “Do you have a condom?”
Kaveh paused, used to his partners being more prepared. “I’ll get one. Don’t get soft while I’m gone!”
Alhaitham was sure that wouldn’t be a problem. He used the time to take his shirt off, something they hadn’t got round to yet (it hadn’t seemed necessary earlier), and to think a bit more.
“Haitham~” Kaveh stood leaning against the doorframe with the foil packet between his teeth.
Alhaitham’s heart stuttered at the sight, but he didn’t have time to process why that was – was it Kaveh? Could it have been someone else? Was it because he was already too horny to see it as anything other than a tempting sight? Kaveh was striding towards him, tearing the packet as he went. Before Alhaitham could react, Kaveh had the condom between his teeth and was on his knees, rolling it down his length. Alhaitham wasn’t sure if Kaveh had managed to put it on with his mouth alone, or if he’d just wanted to have a cock in his mouth again, but it was certainly a stellar job.
Kaveh was back on the bed before he knew it, and Alhaitham was grabbing the lube out of his bedside table – his short thinking time had made him realise they’d probably need it. Once he was back in position behind Kaveh, he let his cock slide up and down Kaveh’s crack, enjoying some much-needed friction. As he did so, he tried to figure out how difficult it was going to be push into Kaveh…for the first time in his life, he wondered if his dick was too big.
“Alhaitham…” Kaveh’s tone was different, and not in a good way. “You are going to prep me first, right?”
The confidence plan was out the window – had he not already done the prep? Kaveh was clearly horny for him, he had the condom on with a little extra lube, what was missing?
“You haven’t done this before, right?” Kaveh asked. “Not even to yourself?”
“No…”
“Stretch me one finger at a time, and go slowly.”
The books he’d read had not covered the secrets of anal sex, but now he knew. Kaveh made sure he remembered to lube his fingers too before he made contact, slowly circling that ring of tight muscle before pushing into it. Alhaitham thought it was very strange to be sticking a finger into someone’s ass, and it was certainly not how he thought his day would go when he got up this morning, but it was weirdly alluring. As he pushed his finger in and out of Kaveh, he began to curl it, gently stroking Kaveh’s insides. He liked it. He liked how trusted he felt for Kaveh to let him do this, and he was also glad Kaveh was willing to be the bottom on this occasion.
Once Kaveh’s muscles felt more relaxed around his finger, he added a second one, going through the motions again and starting to consider how this was going to feel once he’d replaced his fingers with his cock. He grew in confidence, pushing in deeper and twisting his fingers. A long time ago he had read that the male G-spot was accessed via the anus, and he really wanted to find it.
Kaveh could tell that Alhaitham had latched onto something again, forgetting what they were here for. With a little reminder, Alhaitham pushed his cock into Kaveh, amazed at how much easier it was after spending that time prepping. Kaveh still groaned at the size difference, but he sounded more pleased than pained.
Alhaitham began to roll his hips, gently adjusting their positions to find the most pleasurable one.
“Use my pillows,” Alhaitham said, so that Kaveh could be more comfortable. “And let me hear you.”
Kaveh had not expected Alhaitham to enjoy noisy sex – he didn’t enjoy noisy anything usually. Thinking it could be a one-off, Kaveh made sure that he moaned as often and as loudly as he pleased – not something he could usually do with Alhaitham in the house.
Alhaitham wished he hadn’t asked. Between Kaveh’s moans and his ass clenching around his cock, Alhaitham felt like he was on the edge of climaxing barely a minute after starting. He was sure Kaveh wouldn’t mind, and would understand, but he wanted to last longer. He wanted Kaveh to come first. Not because he bought into the ‘nice guys finish last’ rhetoric, but because he wanted Kaveh to come while being fucked by him.
What he wanted and what his dick wanted were, unfortunately, two different things. Alhaitham tried to slow his pace to prolong things, but that only made each thrust leave him aching for more. He was not very good at denying himself pleasure, so he was back to the speed that satisfied him most before Kaveh could realise that there had been an attempt to slow down. Kaveh liked the faster pace, and he enjoyed the feeling of Alhaitham inside him.
“Haitham…” he moaned, wondering if he could draw an interesting reaction out. Up until this point, Alhaitham had been far too quiet – there was a gasp here and there, but that was all. As they weren’t facing each other, all Kaveh had to go on was touch to figure out how much Alhaitham was enjoying this.
A few repetitions of his name later, Alhaitham let slip a moan, followed by, “Kaveh…” Almost as if he said Kaveh’s name to try and cover the lewd sound.
Kaveh giggled to himself. “Haitham~” It would be very sweet if Alhaitham was embarrassed by his own noises.
Alhaitham pushed in deeply, the slap of their thighs filling the room. “Fuck, Kaveh, I’m gonna come.”
Kaveh quietened down as he focused on rhythmically clenching around Alhaitham’s cock to give him the time of his life, and then be rewarded with the sound of him coming undone.
The moan followed by the deep breaths turned out not to be the best bit; Kaveh much preferred finding out that Alhaitham seemed to lose all strength as he came, gripping Kaveh’s hips tightly as he hunched over and rested his head on Kaveh’s back. It was only a few moments, but it was glorious to know that he could put Alhaitham into such a state. Then he felt Alhaitham’s head leave his back and a hand (finally) slipped under him to stroke his cock as Alhaitham slowly rode out the last moments of his orgasm.
Once Alhaitham was completely satisfied, he slipped out of Kaveh, leaving the blond feeling empty. He manipulated Kaveh with ease, and Kaveh loved how easy it was for Alhaitham to flip him onto his back. It was far too much to expect Alhaitham to finish him off with his mouth, but an evil thought told him he was lucky Alhaitham was willing to finish him off at all. Still, he could settle for a strong hand on his dick while he moaned into Alhaitham’s mouth. He never would have pegged Alhaitham as someone interested in hot, wet kisses like this, pushing his tongue into Kaveh’s mouth like he was searching for something. Where did he learn to kiss like this? Kaveh preferred to imagine that this was just primal instinct he was following. It was undeniably hot, and he was basking in the attention Alhaitham was showing him. When had he ever felt so good in Alhaitham’s presence?
“Haitham –“ Kaveh managed to slip in as they broke briefly for air. “I’m gonna –“
There was a very real moment where Kaveh felt Alhaitham’s hand pause and he believed that he was about to be slowly tortured. Instead, it was just a quick reposition of his hand so that he could jack Kaveh off at a speed that left him no choice other than to spill all over the scribe’s hand and himself. It had to be in his top 10 orgasms, but if Alhaitham was willing, he’d quite like to do this again until this one was long forgotten.
Alhaitham looked at his dirtied hand with an unreadable expression before deciding to wipe it on Kaveh’s abdomen with the rest of his cum. Charming. Alhaitham sat up, and Kaveh wondered if that was it – cum-and-go – but Alhaitham was only grabbing some tissues, pulling out a few for Kaveh. It seemed like a bit of an unromantic ending as Kaveh wiped himself clean and watched as Alhaitham reminded him that he could be a slob when he dropped the dirty tissue and used condom off the side of the bed without even attempting to aim for the bin. But this wasn’t a romantic encounter, was it? It was just Alhaitham giving Kaveh what he wanted.
Alhaitham laid down again, close enough that they could embrace if one of them dared to initiate contact.
“You can stay here tonight if you want,” Alhaitham said before closing his eyes.
It’s not even 9pm! Kaveh wanted to yell at him – he was used to Alhaitham turning in early, but this was ridiculous! Still, he wasn’t going to reject this offer. Sighing, he closed his eyes and let his hand creep closer until it found Alhaitham’s, who accepted it.
“Good night, Alhaitham.”
ooo
“You really want to marry me?” Kaveh asked the following morning, when he believed their heads would be clear, all of the pent-up lust between them finally dispelled.
“Do you think I was not serious?”
“I’m just checking. It came out of nowhere yesterday.”
“You already live here, we might as well get married.”
Kaveh blinked. “You know, people can live together, unmarried.”
“Yes, but it makes sense. The house will go to you automatically if I die.”
“You could just write that in a will.”
Alhaitham continued, “And I am able to pay less income tax if I marry you and you continue to earn less than me.”
“What if I earn more than you?”
“Unlikely, but whatever, I’m sure to get a few years of reduced tax.”
Alhaitham sipped his coffee, and Kaveh peeled the orange in his hands.
“I have to ask, do you like me? As in, do you really think we could spend our lives together and not want to kill each other?”
Alhaitham did not answer immediately, carefully considering his words. “If it doesn’t work out, or the reasons aren’t worth it, we can always divorce. But, to answer you, and don’t expect to hear something like this often, I like you, Kaveh. I think you’re brilliant – smart, beautiful, worthy of the title Light of Kshahrewar. I’m glad to have had you as my senior, even if we ended up having academic differences that were too great to overcome. I can only thank the archons that I’ve had a second chance to meet you again in this life.”
“H-Haitham…” Kaveh’s eyes were glistening. “You really mean that?”
“I do. Now never ask me again.”
Kaveh changed sofas so he could sit next to Alhaitham, linking their arms. “How can you be so mean to me all the time and hide your true feelings like that?”
“Because you are also very fun to wind up. If I changed how I am towards you, would you still like me as much as you do?”
“Why don’t you try being nicer so I can find out?”
“No.” He set his coffee down and picked up a box that Kaveh hadn’t noticed among the books on the table. “So, Kaveh, will you marry me?”
Kaveh glared at the ring Alhaitham was displaying. “Seriously?! You had a ring all this time and you didn’t START WITH IT?!”
“Actually, it’s one of mine.”
Kaveh lunged at him – the audacity of this man! Alhaitham caught him and drew him into a kiss, which seemed to drain all the fight out of Kaveh as he half-heartedly pounded a fist against those incredible pecs.
“Is that a yes?” Alhaitham asked.
Kaveh took a deep breath and sighed. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Alhaitham sighed. “Kaveh keeps embellishing the story. He said, ‘yes, I’ll fucking marry you, you insane bastard.’ Very colourful vocabulary, very memorable.”
“But the rest is accurate?” Cyno asked.
“Yeah, it’s close enough.”
“What was the wedding like?” Collei asked. “Did you get dressed up nicely?”
Kaveh huffed. “If you think he’s been unromantic in the story thus far, just wait until I tell you about the ‘wedding.’”
Alhaitham didn’t mention the marriage thing again – Kaveh assumed because he was researching and planning now that Kaveh had actually agreed. When Alhaitham asked Kaveh to meet him after work on the last Friday of the month, Kaveh did not suspect anything – it was pay day, and Alhaitham always went out for dinner, with or without Kaveh (of course, once Kaveh realised he’d be extended an invite, he always made sure his schedule was clear, especially as Alhaitham always footed the bill).
“I need to make a detour before dinner,” Alhaitham said.
Oddly, Alhaitham took his hand as they walked through the city. Kaveh wasn’t going to pull away – he imagined that this wasn’t going to be a common occurrence. Besides, it didn’t look romantic, it looked like Alhaitham was dragging him around the city.
“We’re here.”
Kaveh vaguely listened to Alhaitham speaking to the receptionist about a booking he had while he tried to figure out what this place was used for – it wasn’t a building he was familiar with.
“Kaveh.”
He followed Alhaitham through a door and into a room with chairs arranged into two sections, an aisle made through the middle of them. There was someone sitting at the table that all the chairs were facing and then it all clicked.
“Alhaitham.” Kaveh’s voice was cold. “What are we doing here?”
“Getting married.”
Alhaitham was lucky they were inside. If they were still outside, there definitely would have been a fight. Kaveh’s idea of a wedding was in a large, beautiful building with stained glass windows, full of friends and family and flowers! Oh archons, he was about to get married in his every day clothes! What about the beautiful suit he had designed when he was younger? He could have designed a matching one for Alhaitham! This man! THIS MAN! Kaveh grabbed that man’s arm, nails pressing in.
“Are. You. Serious?” Kaveh said through gritted teeth.
“Kaveh, they’re waiting for us.”
Two witnesses were sat off to the side – people Alhaitham had clearly hired for the job. What happened to choosing two close friends to share this moment with?
“I’m going to kill you after this and claim everything you own,” Kaveh whispered as they walked up the aisle.
“Can you wait until we consummate the marriage?” Alhaitham whispered back.
“I’ll kill two birds with one stone and have you choke on my dick.”
They took their seats at the table, and Alhaitham made a point to take Kaveh’s hand and sit with their hands clasped together on the table.
“Shall we begin?” the registrar asked.
Alhaitham nodded, but Kaveh could only stare daggers at him. How dare he set this all up without a word?! Did Kaveh not, at the very beginning, say that he was a romantic? Did that not imply that he wanted a proper wedding? With all the bells and frills?
“Mr Kaveh, are you not willing to be wed today?”
Kaveh could feel tears pricking at his eyes – a mixture of anger and disappointment. “Go ahead.”
“We are gathered here today to witness the union of Alhaitham and Kaveh of Sumeru City.”
It felt very weird to sit through the registrar’s official speech with no one but themselves and the witnesses to hear it. And he bet those two witnesses had heard it a hundred times this year already.
Alhaitham slipped a ring onto Kaveh’s finger, on the finger next to the ‘engagement’ ring Alhaitham had given him, which caused Kaveh to panic, because he didn’t have one to give back! He was about to explode again, but then he felt Alhaitham press something into his palm, and his fingers closed around the ring he expected Kaveh to give him.
“May Lesser Lord Kusanali be my witness as I, Alhaitham, vow to take you, Kaveh, to be my husband.” Alhaitham’s voice was steady and sincere, and Kaveh’s anger was melting away as he listened to those words. “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until taxes do us part.”
Oh, it was all going so well! Kaveh really wanted to kick him – didn’t the registrar have something to say about this?! How dare he change the wording like that! The most romantic part was the idea that this was a contract to the death!
Alhaitham squeezed Kaveh’s hand to let him know it was his turn. He slowly pushed the ring Alhaitham had passed to him onto the hand he was still holding, buying time. He had always imagined he’d spend weeks pouring over his vows, lovingly tailored to the person he was marrying. Alhaitham, the bastard, had ripped that from him, and expected him to either come up with it on the fly or use the standard vows.
“I…” The registrar prompted.
Kaveh took a deep breath. “I, Kaveh, take you, Alhaitham, to be my lawful wedded husband.” Emphasis on the lawful part – that’s all this was, right? “For better or worse, whether you get richer, or I poorer, until we’re sick of each other, until death do us part.”
The witnesses actually looked interested for once, as if they wanted to laugh – was this guy so nervous that he completely messed up the vows?
The registrar produced a pen and handed it to Alhaitham, indicating where he should sign the marriage certificate. Kaveh considered not signing, but they had come this far, and it was just for taxes, right? He shouldn’t have expected more than this.
Once the witnesses had signed too, the registrar announced that they were officially married in the eyes of the law and that they could kiss. Kaveh half-expected Alhaitham not to bother – it was unnecessary now that they were married, or maybe he would just give him a quick peck to round off the ceremony. What he did not expect, was for Alhaitham to gently place a hand on his neck and slowly bring them closer until their lips met. It was soft and much more prolonged than Kaveh had thought Alhaitham would be comfortable with – people were watching! Either Alhaitham was an excellent actor, or his true feelings were hidden in these moments. Because Kaveh believed him when he said his vows with a voice full of conviction, and he believed him now as he kissed him like he meant it.
“Dinner?” Alhaitham asked as he pulled away, breaking the spell.
As soon as they got out of there, Kaveh decided that domestic violence was acceptable in some cases. He started by stepping on Alhaitham’s foot, and Alhaitham was quick on the uptake of what came next, blocking the slap incoming.
“I can’t believe you!” Kaveh moaned. “You complete asshole!” He kept trying to hit or kick Alhaitham, with no success. “You could have told me! Why did you have to plan this all yourself!” They were slowly fighting their way towards the restaurant Alhaitham had a reservation with as Kaveh let all of his frustrations loose.
By the time they reached their destination, Kaveh was out of breath, out of steam, and quite hungry (as he always was when he knew Alhaitham was taking him out).
“I didn’t want you to waste time thinking about it,” Alhaitham said. “I know you have a lot on your plate at the moment. And I definitely didn’t want you to spend any money on it.”
“I could have spent your money.”
“You’d still waste time spending my – our – money.”
Kaveh huffed as he shoved a potato into his mouth. “You could have at least let us invite someone. How are we going to tell people we’re married but didn’t invite them, huh?”
“I wasn’t planning to tell anyone. Just the tax office.”
“Are you ashamed to have me as a husband?” Kaveh asked. They’d not even been married for an hour and already things were like this! He was a fool for saying yes!
“No, but my personal life doesn’t have to be out in public. Who I love is my personal business. And, although I don’t expect to have you used against me, in a world where information has high value, it may be safer for people not to know your importance to me.”
Kaveh barely registered that last part where Alhaitham suggested that something ominous was on the horizon – he was too busy swooning over the part where he implied that he loved Kaveh!
“Haitham…when you said your vows earlier, did you really mean them?”
“Yes.”
“To love and to cherish me?”
“Yes. Your vows were not as nice as mine. You should have stuck to the standard script.”
Kaveh’s nostrils flared in anger again. “If you were listening on our way here, I did mention that you should have given me more time! I would have written you such beautiful vows, your eyes might have watered. I know I couldn’t expect you to cry.”
“If you want to write some proper vows, I’d be happy to hear them another time.”
“Did you write some?” Collei asked.
“I have,” Kaveh said. “And because Alhaitham seems to have forgotten about our upcoming anniversary, I don’t mind telling you that I was planning to recite them for him on that day.”
“You should invite us,” Tighnari said, “So we can witness them, like a second, proper wedding.”
Kaveh blushed at the thought – he had written them for Alhaitham’s ears only. “Ah, well…”
“Let’s do it,” Alhaitham said. “I’ll get a cake.”
“Oh yeah, I think I forgot to mention that we never had a wedding cake,” Kaveh added. “But if I listed what was missing from our wedding, we’d be here all day.”
“Where do you want to do it?” Alhaitham asked, and it was noticeable that his eyes were on Kaveh rather than the game this time.
“I think… I’d quite like to ask to use the pavilion on the edge of the Palace of Alcazarzaray.”
“Consider it done. Is there anyone else you’d like to invite?”
Kaveh considered it, but actually, he didn’t want to have a massive public wedding like he once thought he did. “No, but I want us to dress for the occasion this time.”
“17 days from now,” Cyno wondered. “I’ll make sure I’m free. Traveler, are you able to stick around?”
“Yeah, I’ve got a few commissions in the area.”
“Paimon’s never been to a wedding! This’ll be fun!”
ooo
Kaveh was oddly nervous about the whole thing. He was already married to Alhaitham and had been for a year, so what was there to be nervous about? At first, he thought it was about coming out about his marriage, but the only people about to witness their renewed vows were people who already knew. No, it was because he was about to lay bare his heart.
“Traveler, did you know that as the General Mahamatra I have the power to marry people?” Cyno asked.
The Traveler and Paimon narrowed their eyes at him, wondering where the joke was in all this.
“Oh, he’s serious,” Tighnari said.
The pair relaxed and Paimon said, “Oh, right. So, have you ever married anyone?”
“No. But I could. Let me know if you’re thinking about getting married.”
“Why don’t you just become a registrar if you want to marry people?”
Cyno smiled. “I only want to do it once. I have the greatest joke lined up for it.”
“Why not ask Kaveh and Alhaitham if you can say it today?”
“No, no, it won’t be the same as delivering it to a couple that aren’t yet married.”
The couple they had been waiting on finally walked past the 4 chairs that had been set up in the pavilion (Paimon chose to float as usual). They were in matching sherwanis, both white, but Alhaitham’s embroidery was in silver, while Kaveh’s was gold, and they each had a dupatta over one shoulder, Alhaitham’s in teal and Kaveh’s in red. Not the outlandish over-the-top outfits Kaveh had in mind as a young dreamer, but this was perfect for them and who they were now.
It was amazing what a couple of matching outfits could do, their witnesses thought. Any passers-by would have a hard time imagining they’d been fighting all morning (all Kaveh had asked was that Alhaitham take his earpieces out for one day, but this was not permissible).
Alhaitham reached out and took Kaveh’s hands in his own, caressing them gently as he gazed at Kaveh.
“With Lesser Lord Kusanali as my witness, I, Alhaitham, take you, Kaveh, to be my husband.” His voice was laced with the same conviction it had been the first time he had said these words. “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death, taxes, or other unfortunate circumstances. This is my solemn vow.”
Kaveh didn’t know why he expected Alhaitham to say anything other than the standard vows. He knew there wasn’t a romantic bone in that body, but he had still hoped that there would be a bit more effort than changing the last part – and he couldn’t believe he’d kept the taxes bit in!
There was no time to be mad now because there was a burst of dendro energy that drew everyone’s attention. Large flowers made of dendro energy spiralled just beyond the pavilion’s perimeter and then a foot appeared, stepping on the highest flower. Nahida deftly hopped from flower to flower until she reached the ground.
“Your vows have been heard,” she said. “So, make sure you stick to them!”
Kaveh blinked and watched as the archon slipped through the space between them and created a swing to sit and watch from with the others. Did Alhaitham really casually invite the dendro archon to their second wedding without telling him?!
“Kaveh…” Alhaitham whispered, prompting him to say his vows, and at the same time reaching up to take his earpieces out.
Kaveh beamed – so he did think about his feelings!
“I, Kaveh, take you, Alhaitham, to be my husband. To hold during the darkest nights, and have as my morning light, during the best times and the worst, without a thought for the circumstances life throws at us. I promise to love and cherish you until my soul is no longer in this realm. Alhaitham,” Kaveh took a breath, and the words he said next were ones that only the Haravatat scholar and Nahida could understand as Kaveh had painstakingly translated and practiced his pronunciation of a language lost to the ages. “One day you will ask me which is more important? My life or yours? I will say mine, and you will walk away, not knowing that you are my life.”
Alhaitham was stunned for a moment, but a smile grew on his face. He said something before he stepped closer to kiss Kaveh, but Kaveh could only guess the meaning of the words based on his tone. Only Nahida knew that Alhaitham had told Kaveh that he loved him so simply, in a way he had never expressed before.
Kaveh melted into the kiss, pleased that Alhaitham seemed to enjoy his decision to recite a poem like that.
ooo
Lambad’s Tavern’s upper floor was reserved for them, and it was extremely clear that the celebration happening was wedding-related and for Alhaitham and Kaveh.
“Alhaitham!” Kaveh complained. “Could you not have asked them to be a bit more subtle! It’s bad enough that we’ve walked in here with matching sherwanis, but the banner is completely unnecessary! Now the whole city will know we’re married!” It would only be a matter of time before today’s customers told their friends, who told their friends, and so on…
“Good,” Alhaitham said. “I’m tired of people thinking we’re two of the city’s most eligible bachelors when we’re not. I don’t want anyone to look at you like you’re a free man again.”
Kaveh’s annoyance died on his tongue. When he put it that way… “Interesting take from a man that married me for tax benefits. I thought you’d be on the look-out for a replacement.”
“Kaveh…” Nahida’s frown made him feel bad.
“Sorry, Lord Kusanali, you’re here to celebrate a happy wedding, aren’t you?”
“It’s not that,” she said. “You do know that Alhaitham loves you, don’t you?”
“No, he really did marry me for tax purposes – he told me that himself.”
“Even if he said that, and even if it’s part of the reason he asked, it doesn’t erase the fact that he loves you dearly.”
Kaveh turned to look at Alhaitham next to him, noticing that his husband was looking pointedly at the table, cheeks slightly flushed.
Nahida smiled. “He finds it hard to tell you how much he loves you in words, but everything he said as part of his vows he meant. He really does want to love and cherish you no matter what.”
Kaveh pried Alhaitham’s hand from his knee and intertwined their fingers. “Haitham, I love you, too.”
Alhaitham leaned in closer. “You’re the only one for me, Kaveh. I don’t care about the tax benefits.”
“That’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Alhaitham repeated his words from earlier, the ones in the ancient language Kaveh couldn’t understand. “No, those are the most romantic words I’ve ever said.” Kaveh turned to Nahida again, but Alhaitham took his chin and forced his eyes back. “Don’t ask, just trust me.”
Cyno held up a shiny gold Mora. “Love is beautiful, isn’t it? I give it five minutes before they start arguing again.”
Tighnari hummed. “Four minutes.”
Collei, who had a little more faith, won the bet; the two husbands managed not to fight over anything until she asked, about 10 minutes later, if they had been on a honeymoon (they had not. Yet.).