Chapter Text
Section One - Moments of Jealousy
The first time Vincent let his jealousy get the best of him
October 3rd - 10:57 pm
It was Nils’ 21st birthday and he seemed to be celebrating it by shoving his tongue down a random guy’s throat at the party Vincent threw for him at their shared apartment. More like Nils kept hinting at the fact that he wanted a party for his birthday and he took the ‘subtle’ hint and threw him one.
He was watching Nils and Mr. No Name intensely as he drowned out whatever bullshit Walter and Alexander were on about next to him. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. The newfound anger he intensely felt whenever he saw Nils with someone. There was no reason for him to feel this way. He and Nils had been friends for 6 years now and he had never felt this way before.
He chugged back the rest of his beer before making his way to the kitchen to grab a new one. Purposely going out of his way to ram into no name’s shoulder as he walked past.
“And what was that about?” Henry asked as he shoved his shoulder.
He felt his face go red when he realized what Henry was talking about.
“What was what?”
Henry gave him a knowing smirk, “nothing, never mind.”
He felt his hands grow sweaty as he took a deep breath. He knew what Henry was talking about. He had been jealously eyeing his best friend all night and then he went out of his way to ruin his makeout session with a guy for seemingly no reason.
He was drunk. That was his excuse. There was nothing else it could be other than that. Yeah, drunk.
He and Henry returned to Walter and Alexander’s side who were now accompanied by Wille, Simon, and Felice. None of them particularly liked to party but they made an exception for Nils’ birthday.
During his third year at Hillerska, Vincent partied a lot. It helped him escape from the constant pressure that was put on him. When it was the weekend, he spent Friday and Saturday drinking and doing whatever drug he could get his hands on until his mind went numb and he passed out somewhere other than his bed. Sunday was his recovery day, even though he needed way more than a day to recover from the horrendous hangover he always had. This went on for months, every weekend being the same as the rest. It was a violent cycle that he had gotten himself stuck in. He didn’t even enjoy the feeling of being drunk. He just liked how his mind went blank and how he stopped worrying about everything.
The only reason he isn’t still trapped in the cycle was because of Nils. He slowly but surely helped him cut back on his drinking and drug use as well as convinced him to go see Borris during their remaining time at Hillerska. As much as he hated to admit it, Borris helped more than he thought he would and helped lead him on the right path. He cut drug use out of his life entirely and kept drinking on occasion or when absolutely necessary. And right now, it was essential.
“I thought you cut back on drinking Vince, that’s like your 6th beer tonight.” His best friend’s voice cut through the others.
He turned back and faced Nils who looked at him concerningly which for some reason only made him more annoyed.
“It’s not your problem, birthday boy. Go make out with some random guy again.” He snapped before finishing off his drink and pushing through the crowd of people to get to his bedroom.
He slammed his bedroom door behind him and sank to the floor next to his bed. His hands wrapped around his knees and his head fell into his lap. God, he was hammered. He couldn’t remember the last time he had gotten this drunk. He wasn’t even sure why he was in the first place.
The room began to grow dull as the music began to get louder. He hated how he had reacted. Nils was only looking out for him and he snapped at him for no reason. He was such a shit best friend. He couldn’t understand why Nils had stuck with him for so long.
He stayed in the comfort of his bedroom for the remainder of the party. He listened as the voices became more sparse and the music began to dwindle. After one last goodbye and the front door shutting, he heard the music click off followed by footsteps leading up to his room.
As the footsteps stopped in front of his room, he heard Nils on the other side.
“Hey Vince, are you awake?”
He responded with a pain-filled groan which caused Nils to laugh. He liked when Nils laughed. It was always comforting for him.
“Do you mind if I come in?” Of course he didn’t mind. He never did.
He replied with another groan as permission which Nils seemed to understand since only a moment later he was stepping into the room and gently shutting the door behind him.
Suddenly he was aware of how much of a mess he was. He was still in the same position he originally sat in, not wanting to risk the headrush that would happen if he tried to move anywhere else. His room was destroyed from picking out an outfit earlier. And he overall just felt gross.
Nils took a seat next to him, not leaving much space between them. What was once a normal thing to him seemed to now take over his mind. He wasn’t sure why his heart began to beat so fast but no matter what he did he wasn’t able to calm it.
“What happened?”
Nils seemed genuinely hurt by his words which only made him feel more like a prick.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your birthday.”
Nils frowned at him and placed his hand on Vincent’s knee.
“You didn’t ruin my birthday, Vince.”
The reassuring tone in Nils’ voice helped calm his nerves.
They sat there in silence for a few minutes, Nils’ hand still resting on Vincent’s knee while he refused even to attempt to make eye contact with the birthday boy.
Nils could tell something was wrong with Vincent. He’s been picking up on it for a few weeks now. He tried to ignore it knowing that Vincent would come to him if needed, but after tonight he realized he couldn’t just let it happen anymore.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Vincent felt tears prickle his eyes as Nils asked the question. He shook his head and kept his eyes looking down at his lap. He didn’t need to make Nils’ birthday worse than he already did.
Nils pulled Vincent closer to him and hugged him. Vincent’s immediate response was to tense his body, but after a few passing moments, he gave into Nils’ embrace. Resting his head on his shoulder and letting his eyes flutter shut as he listened to Nils’ breathing, finding himself matching it.
“Happy Birthday, Nils”
Nils let out a small laugh, “Thank you, Vince.” He replied before pulling back from the hug and standing up.
“I’m tired so I’m going to head to bed. Thank you for the party, by the way. I had a great time.”
“I’m sure you did, I saw you sucking on that dude’s face.” Yep, he was still very drunk.
Nils’ face grew red at his statement, “Shut up.” He said while laughing before turning and leaving Vincent’s bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
Vincent let out a loud groan as he forced himself to get up from the floor and flopped onto his bed. His head barely hit the pillow before he fell asleep.