Chapter Text
It had been a silly idea, the day the idea hatched in Chay’s brain.
Porsche had been an emotional wreck the entire day that even Chay’s bodyguard had noticed. P’Lee glanced at Chay’s brother a total of five times the entire time Chay and Porsche hung out, in the safety of his Hia and P’Kinn’s room.
Porsche had been trying to put on a grin and an easy expression for Chay, but he could tell the way his brother’s shoulders were tense, the way the corner of his eyes tightened now and then, that his mind was elsewhere.
“Hia,” Chay had stopped rambling about his latest online course, and put a hand on his brother’s fidgeting one, “what’s wrong? You know you can talk to me, right? I’m still your Chay.”
Porsche had breathed out in a stutter, grasping Chay’s hand tightly with his own, “I’m fine, nong.”
“Bullshit!” Chay piped up, ignoring his brother’s surprised expression. “You think I can’t tell when you’re upset? I thought we could still talk, you know, like before. Before, um, all this.” Chay admitted in a small voice, looking away. In truth, nothing hurt more than realizing his brother didn’t need him anymore, not emotionally at least. Porsche wouldn’t come to him to tell him about his day, or some annoying customer that wouldn’t stop flirting with him, or how rakishly handsome he looked that everybody ogled him during the night. Chay wouldn’t giggle and roll his eyes at his brother’s over-inflated ego and bad jokes.
All of that was gone now. In the After.
After everything that went down in the compound, and after Porsche had been appointed as the minor family head. After Chay found out he’d been played for a fool and the aftermath of having his heart broken and picking up the pieces.
After all of that, Chay knew his place in his brother’s life had been demoted. His brother’s Alpha, Kinn Theerapanyakul, now had the honour of listening to his bad jokes and self-assured praises. And how lucky that man was. Chay hoped he knew that.
Porsche exclaimed, “Chay! Of course, we can still talk. Nothing changes between us, alright? Nothing.”
His brother looked into his eyes meaningfully, and Chay gratefully read his expression that said ‘no matter what happens, I’m still your Hia’.
And just for that, Chay had to throw his arms around his brother. Porsche chuckled and squeezed him back, smacking a kiss against the side of his head, as he usually did.
Chay hid a contented smile against his neck and moved back, “Now will you tell me what’s bugging you?”
Porsche rolled his eyes, patting his head, “You’re an insistent one.”
Chay raised his eyebrows pointedly when he fell silent. Porsche huffed and looked at Lee, standing behind Chay at a comfortable distance.
“Hey Lee, do you mind stepping out for some time? I wanna discuss something with my little brother.” His brother requested of his bodyguard in a friendly tone and with the way Lee bowed and acquiesced immediately told Chay of how much the newbies respected his Hia.
As they should.
Chay brightened as soon as the door clicked behind his bodyguard, leaving the two brothers alone. Kinn was nowhere to be found, as he was busy with meetings in the conference room at the top floor of the compound, but occasional pings from his brother’s phone told Chay the man was clearly missing his Omega.
Porsche tapped his brother’s hand twice before sighing, “So you know Kinn and I have been together a while now. Even before, um, you found out, we’d been with each other.”
Chay blinked as his brother paused meaningfully.
Porsche looked into his eyes, “You know like together together.”
He wrinkled his nose, “Ew, you mean like that ?”
Porsche laughed and pinched his nose, “Yes, you menace, like that !”
Chay grimaced, “Why are you telling me this?”
His brother rolled his eyes, “Will you listen to me completely?”
Chay nodded silently as his brother continued, “Well, we’ve been together a good five months now. And I’ve had three heats so far. Spent them all with Kinn. The last one, however, wasn’t really a good one.”
Chay tilted his head in confusion.
Porsche sighed and looked away, “The last one I had was triggered by stress. After everything had gone down and I’d been made Head, and then finding out Ma was alive but unwell, it got to me.”
Chay felt a lump in his throat and tightened his hold on his brother’s hand, but remained silent.
“The stress from all of that triggered a heat and of course, Kinn helped me through it. Having my Alpha there was a big relief, but then it got me thinking. I’ve spent three heats with him and the last one was stress-fueled. We’re mated and bonded completely. But-”
Porsche gulped and trailed off. Chay knew he was holding back tears and felt alarm crawl up his insides. What was so wrong with his brother that he’d stutter and stammer through this conversation?
“Hia,” he whispered, not wanting to startle his brother, “what’s wrong? Did something go bad between you two? Are you not happy?”
Porsche looked up at him in surprise, eyes glazed over with the hint of tears, “Ay, what’s this? Of course I’m happy, nong. I’ve got you safe here by me and I’ve got my Alpha around me all the time. I’m as happy as I can be, trust me.”
Chay nodded, appeased for now. “So then what do you mean?”
Porsche sighed in frustration and bit out, “It’s the pregnancy tests, Chay. They keep coming back negative.”
Chay’s mouth opened in a perfect ‘o’ as realization hit him. His Omega brother was stressed over not being able to conceive, and while that thought would’ve made him feel pity for his brother, it only warmed him on the inside.
The fact that his brother was not stressed over work or their safety but rather not being able to start a family. Which was something they’d both wanted, as young orphans growing up on their own, knowing they both had the ability to have a family.
Chay gasped, sitting up straight, “You guys are trying for a baby?” Without waiting for answer, Chay squealed, kicking his feet against the plush carpet, relishing in his brother’s clear, loud laughter.
“I can’t wait to be an uncle, Hia!” Chay declared, leaning across to hug his brother. He took a moment to breathe in his comforting scent before pulling back.
Porsche sighed, “Yeah I’m excited too but I don’t know when that can be possible for us. Not with everything having happened just two months ago.” Chay’s excitement faltered as images of his own experience flashed through his mind. He carefully shelved them away before he could examine them further.
“So what are you waiting for? When can you take your pregnancy test?”
Porsche pouted, “Not for another two days. The physician said I shouldn’t be worrying myself too much, otherwise it won’t happen.”
It was silence between them as the two digested their conversation, before Porsche piped up again. “Speaking of heats, nong, when was your last? I swear I used to keep track of them for you but you haven’t been under one since you moved here, right?”
“Uh- huh yeah um, no, I haven’t had one since two months ago.” Chay admitted, swallowing down his nerves. No need to mention to his Hia how exactly he’d spent his last heat and with whom exactly. Not only would it petrify his brother to find out, it would rehash all the trauma and hurt that Chay was trying to work through quietly.
He mustered up a reassuring smile for his brother paired with a nonchalant shrug that thankfully had Porsche sighing in relief. “You let me know when you’re under, alright? I’ll make sure your room’s heat-proofed and cordoned off.”
Chay smiled and nodded. “Okay so in two days’ time, I’m going to be back here, and we’ll spend the night eating snacks and watching your favourite movie, before we take the test, alright?”
Porsche blinked in surprise and Chay pouted, “You wanted to take it alone? No way, Hia! I’ll make you your favourite goodies and spend time with you. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” Chay grinned at him mischievously, noting the way his brother’s eyes hazed over with unshed tears.
“I don’t know if I’ve actually done a good job with you or you’re just an angel. Thank you, nong.”
Porsche choked on his tears as Chay shook his head and pulled him into another hug, ignoring the sting of hurt at being called ‘angel’. The last person who called him that was the same who had ruthlessly stomped on his heart before walking away.
Chay quickly blinked away his own tears, pasting on a huge grin for the sake of his brother as he pulled back. “Okay, so just trust me, get your tests ready and I’ll bring the snacks!”
Porsche laughed and agreed, and the two brothers spent the rest of their time chit-chatting, not realizing it was late by the time Kinn strolled in to the room, claiming they’d missed dinner.
Chay jumped up and fled the room quickly, not wanting to encroach on his brother and his Alpha’s territory anymore. He waved away Porsche’s urges to stay for dinner with them and dashed back to his room, a new kind of renewed energy pumping through his veins.
He was excited for his brother but also excited to be making the snacks for that night.
In the aftermath of things, Chay had revealed to his brother the hurt and trauma that made him walk out of his interview, being careful not to mention anything about a certain Theerapanyakul being the cause behind it. His saint of a brother had pushed him to try other things, now that they weren’t financially bound as they used to be.
From the safety of his room, Chay had signed up for several online courses and found a new love for the culinary arts. It was rather cliche of him, perhaps, to be inclining towards such a homey profession, but the idea that he could put ingredients together and produce something that would put a smile on someone’s face excited him. Before, when he and his brother used to live alone with barely any adult supervision, Chay had taken over the kitchen quite often. From making late-night ramen for his bruised and bloodied brother to making a Sunday meal for them all, Chay had taken to experimenting with recipes.
Now that he’d access to all kinds of exotic ingredients, his interest grew. Steadily, he worked his way through several courses and had even managed to attend a few classes, where the feel of sinking his fingers into fresh dough and the waft of yeast baking up from the oven comforted him. His Omegan nature craved that comfort even more since he’d bottled up his pain, so throwing himself quite literally into such work was a welcome relief.
Back in his room, Chay quickly noted down the recipes he could work with, but the ingredients for which were hard to come by. He knew he could just hand a list over to a bodyguard and all the things would be waiting for him at the kitchen counter on his floor, but Chay valued the quality of ingredients. If he needed a particular brand, only he knew which one to get, and he didn’t want to be such a bother over complaining about the wrong brand.
Mind set in stone, he inched his door open to see P’Lee standing where he left him off. The man was much older than Chay, his salt-and-pepper hair a visual characteristic of his age, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worthy. Chay had seen the man take down several bodyguards decades younger than himself, and knew the man’s worth as a bodyguard.
Of course, it helped that he was more of a sweet uncle to Chay.
“P’Lee, can you take me to the store in the morning? I need a lot of things.” Chay asked him in his honeyed voice, abusing his status as a younger Omega to sweeten the deal. Not that the man wouldn’t take him but Chay didn’t want excuses such as ‘we’re having a drill, so everyone needs to stay inside’ to ruin his plans.
Lee hesitated only for a moment before nodding, “Yes, K’Chay.”
Chay rolled his eyes but smiled and closed the door; it’d been a pain to get the man to stop calling him Khun Porchay but that was replaced by Khun Chay so he guessed it was somewhat of a win.
He mentally rifled through the list of things he’d get, stopping intently on dark chocolate. It was bizarre; he didn’t know if it was the stress of moving into a new place after all that had happened, but he’d been craving chocolate so much recently. He was quite shocked to realize the craving was at a baser level, the kind where his Omega tendencies would affect his mood. It was probably nothing to worry about, though he didn’t want to overindulge himself.
His mind flashed back to the time a certain Alpha would diligently buy him bars of his favourite chocolate brand every time they met up. The way his fond eyes would trace over Chay’s face as he devoured the candy presented to him.
At the time, he’d felt cherished and loved, but now all that was replaced by embarrassment.
How shameless had he been to openly accept an Alpha’s gifts as if someone like Kim would court someone like him.
Kim.
He’d said it. Chay hadn’t thought of that name for a good week now, but tonight had broken that spell. He didn’t know why but the hurt was stronger today. And every time he thought of his craving for dark chocolate, a pair of dark brown eyes would manifest into his mind.
He shook them away furiously and settled into bed with his laptop, scrolling through new recipes to try.