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It wasn’t like I hadn’t expected the Christmas party to be lonely, Iruka thought, slipping out of the terrace doors. Iruka had always been a wallflower at events such as these, not that he had been to many. His foster family had taken him to a party once. He didn’t remember much of it; only standing behind the camera watching as all the family had their picture taken. Being excluded made sense, they sent him back the next month. This party had a similar tinge to it in all honesty. He only started working at the archives this year and the feeling of Outsider hadn’t faded yet. His co-workers didn’t exactly help with that either. The institute had hired Iruka as an assistant researcher but the role he seemed to fill was more like glorified secretary. Naruto and Sasuke were constantly out on follow ups whilst Sakura dealt with the physical objects brought in by scared witnesses. They had a role in the pipeline their archives ran. Meanwhile Iruka found himself squeezed into his corner desk, listening to crusty tapes. The only job Kakashi gave him was to try to find a filing system that worked.
It wasn’t like he was being ignored or bullied, in fact, everyone was friendly and helpful most of the time. But it was the little things that separated them still. The glances they would throw Kakashi when they had information to share that he wasn’t allowed to hear. The files snatched out of his pile with a “Don’t worry about this one, way above your paygrade.” It stung. He was being kept out of the loop on purpose and he didn’t know why-
“Can I have a cigarette?”
Iruka blinked, looking up. He hadn’t heard the terrace doors open from behind him.
“Excuse me?” He asked
“A cigarette,” The stranger replied, “That’s usually why people come outside during a party.”
“Sorry, I don’t smoke.” Iruka replied.
He took a second to inspect the man who had appeared next to him. He leant on the back of the fence and in the glow of the party lights nearby he looked muted and drained of colour. His skin was pale and sallow, barely any pink flushing his cheeks and his hair was an even paler white. The only colour that seemed to bleed through his cool tones was the red stripes that decorated his face. The man's cold eyes stared back at Iruka, observing him . “If not cigarettes, then why do you choose to stand out here alone?” He asked still staring with dark eyes.
“Maybe I like to be alone.”
“I cannot fault you for that,” The stranger replied, “Being alone is easier after all.”
Iruka nodded. The wind was starting to chill around him, goosebumps starting to raise on his exposed forearms. He forgot he had rolled his sleeves up earlier in the night.
“It’s not like no one noticed I had left anyways” Iruka laughed lightly, “I suppose it comes with being the new starter, everyone’s already got their cliques.”
The brown skinned man shivered, the wind suddenly feeling brisker.
“Indeed. Parties are always so terribly loud too. Not like being at home, sat with a book.” The man inched closer to where Iruka leant on the fence overlooking the blocked off grass
Iruka stared forward at the grass, watching the mist roll through it. Had it always been this foggy? He could’ve sworn it was a clear night when he left. There weren’t even clouds to hide the moonlight like there always seemed to be in winter.
“It’s good to be around people.” Iruka replied looking up at the man. “Being lonely is worse.”
“Is it?” The man hadn’t moved but his voice seemed closer, like a breath in his ear. “Some find loneliness comforting.”
The mist had turned to fog now. Iruka turned around to rest his back on the fence too. The light coming through the terrace doors was dim now, like a dying fire. He could barely hear the noises of the party either, they seemed to drift away, like his head.
“I suppose it is.” He mumbled “No one can hurt you when you’re alone. No lies or broken promises No one can ignore you, or keep secrets from you, or-”
“Or -send you back?”
Iruka snapped up, some of the brain fog clearing.
“What.”
“At least the loneliness wants you Iruka, “ The ghost-like man continued, “Not like everybody else.”
Iruka tried to step back but there was nowhere to go. His hands went to brace on the fence behind but there was no comforting weight of iron there. The fog seemed suffocating, all around him. The man was gone now and there was nothing but him and the mist, even the moonlight couldn’t seem to break through it. There was nothing here, he was completely and utterly alo-
“Iruka?”
The brown man gasped and his mind flickered. Iruka stood back clutching onto the metal bars of the fence. His clammy fingers gripped onto the pole for dear life. The sound of the party through the opened doors ripped through his ears like someone had un-paused a mute button. A different silver haired man stood in front of him now, this one familiar.
“Kakashi.”
“Naruto was looking for you everywhere, he wants to get a picture of all us basement dwellers.” Kakashi said. He paused to look at Iruka. “Are you alright?”
“I-“ Iruka began, “There was a man,” the stranger’s face melted away in his mind, the words he said fading fast. “I’m- I’m not sure where he went.”
“There’s no one here now.”
Iruka didn’t reply as he stared forwards, eyes unfocused. The touch of warm hand against his forehead jolted him back into reality.
“Maa, Iruka, you’re freezing. How long have you been out here?” Kakashi said, singular eye looking into his.
“I’m fine, honestly.” He said, blushing as he pulled away from the warm hand. “Just a bit too much to drink I guess.”
“If you’re sure.” Kakashi’s hand dropped down to gently tug at his hand, prying it away from the railing. Iruka clutched it like a lifeline, the cold sense of unease melting away. “Come on, before Naruto starts running around the basement trying to find you.”
Kakashi led him inside, pushing him through the doors first. Iruka did not notice the pause he took before coming in as Naruto whisked him away, excitedly dragging him back to their table. He did not notice Kakashi’s singular eye scrutinizing the outside terrace. He did not get the chance to hear the word’s called into the lonely garden.
“You can’t have him. Not whilst he is under the Eye’s protection.” Kakashi called, “And especially not when he is under mine.”