Chapter Text
Hawke smoothed the crumpled note flat on her desk, pressing her fingertip along a damp crease, and re-read it for what felt like the hundredth time, wishing she could somehow will it into conveying a different message.
~~~
Dear Hawke,
I have the relic, and I am gone. I've lost too much over that blighted thing to let it go again. I know it would be noble to return the relic to the Qunari, but that would require a better soul than I possess.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry I lied to you again.
Isabela
~~~
"Damn you, Isabela," she cried. "I would have protected you from Castillon, if you'd let me."
"I know," the Rivaini purred, nearly startling Hawke out of her skin. She yelped and whirled around to find Isabela lounging against the wall, an enormous book in her hands. "That's why I came back." She strolled over to the desk and set the heavy volume upon it with a playful frown. "I should be halfway to Ostwick by now. This is your damned influence, Hawke."
Relief flooded Alice's chest as she hugged her friend. "Maker, am I glad to see you! This situation with the Qunari is about to blow up like a barrel of gaatlok. I convinced the Arishok to give me a little more time to try to track you down, but Aveline won't get off his back about an issue with a couple of his converts. He's one more unpleasant 'bas' encounter from levelling all of Kirkwall."
The last time Alice had spoken with the Qunari leader, she'd been trying to run interference for Aveline. He'd flatly refused the guard captain's demand that he turn over two elves accused of killing one of her men, and after hearing their explanation, Hawke could hardly blame him. She'd managed to convince Aveline to stand down, that justice for a rapist wasn't worth the trouble it would cause to oppose the Arishok, but her friend hadn't been happy, nor did she entirely agree to let the matter rest. After Aveline had stormed off, Hawke had begged the Arishok to begin preparations to leave Kirkwall.
"I will get your tome back, I swear it," she'd said. She'd had no idea at the time how she would do it, but she was determined to prevent a Qunari takeover of Kirkwall, preferably without violence.
The huge man had stared down at her impassively, his grey eyes as intense and serious as ever. Finally, he had frowned.
"I know you keep your promises, Hawke, but even you may not be able to keep that one. I cannot leave Kirkwall without the relic, and I cannot remain blind to the disease and dysfunction that infests this city. My men are restless; their purpose remains unmet. The time approaches when I must act."
He'd spoken without rancor, although his voice had deepened with disgust when he'd mentioned Kirkwall's ills. His calmly-issued threat had frightened Hawke more than any bluster or bravado from the city's leaders ever could. She knew he meant what he said, and his solution to Kirkwall's problems would be brutal, bloody, and absolute. Impulsively, she'd stepped closer to him and laid one hand on his massive bicep. He'd glanced down in surprise but hadn't rebuked her for the imposition, and she'd squeezed the solid muscle gently.
"Arishok, I am begging you. You know if you act against Kirkwall, it will result in unnecessary deaths." His lip had curled up a little, no doubt ready to argue for necessity, but Hawke had rushed on. "Please give me time to find a peaceful solution. I know your… your philosophy demands action and your patience is finite, but I just need a little more time. If you begin your preparations to return to Par Vollen, I'll have your tome back before they're complete. I know I can do it."
"No," he'd said sternly, and Hawke's heart had sunk. "There will be no preparations. I am not leaving without the Tome of Koslun, and I will not make any preparations until I have it. You have one week, Hawke, and that's only if the guard captain ceases her harassment. The matter of the viddathari is closed." He'd folded his arms across his chest, removing himself from her touch, and frowned down at her intimidatingly.
"I'll get Aveline to back off," she'd promised quickly. "And I'll have your book back before the week is out. Thank you, Arishok. I know we can resolve this civilly." She'd allowed a bit of a smirk to tug at her mouth then, for she knew the man found nothing about Kirkwall civilized in the slightest, and she'd been rewarded with a glint of amusement in his steely eyes.
"Doubtful," he'd replied, his full lips softening from an unyielding line to a slight curve, "but you alone among these squealing dathrasi could even pretend such a thing is possible. You have your week, Hawke. Use it well."
He'd nodded to her curtly, a clear dismissal, and then returned to his men. Alice had breathed a long sigh of relief and dashed through the streets to catch up with Aveline. Unfortunately, her friend had refused to let the matter with the elves drop despite Hawke's desperate entreaties, and Alice had felt the noose closing around Kirkwall's neck as the Arishok had grown more frustrated with the guard captain's notion of justice.
But here was Isabela, and not a moment too soon.
"Fantastic! We'll just scamper down to the docks, hand over the book, and they'll be off. Kirkwall will be Qunari-free by All Soul's Day!"
Hawke's cheerful tone belied the small twinge of disappointment she felt at having to say good-bye to the Arishok. While she didn't agree with the mandates of the Qun, she'd grown rather fond of Par Vollen's stern general. He was certainly unlike any other man she'd ever met, and he intrigued her nearly as much as she exasperated him. She would miss their conversations.
"We?" Isabela laughed heartily. "You're mad if you think I'm going anywhere near those animals. Sorry, Hawke, but I've done my good deed for… my entire lifetime, actually. Which will be unpleasantly short if either the Qunari or Castillon get their hands on me. You owe it to me to protect me, Hawke. Don't ask me to go down there."
Alice could see the fear lurking beneath her friend's bold demand, and she relented. "No, of course not. I won't ask you to go with me. You're right, the Arishok would probably lop your head off on the spot. Just lay low and try to stay out of trouble until they leave."
"Done," Isabela replied, and sidled out of the estate as silently as she'd slipped in.
Alice stroked the tome's thick spine and debated her next move. It was well after midnight – normally she wouldn't dare disturb the compound at such a late hour, but she had a feeling the Qunari wouldn't want to wait a single second to get their relic back. She slid her daggers into the sheaths on her hips and shoved the book into a leather pack that she strapped to her back. Andraste's knickers, it was heavy! She decided she'd better ask the Arishok to come out and meet her in the street to retrieve the tome. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, exactly, but she didn't relish the idea of going into the enclosed compound with evidence that she'd been involved, even tangentially, with the theft of their sacred text.
As she slinked through the dark streets of Kirkwall, Hawke kept her eye out for bandits and crooks. Despite her best efforts to rid the city of vermin, new bands of criminals seemed to pop up as soon as the old ones were dispatched. It was disheartening how easily people were lured into a life of crime. The Arishok blamed the Viscount for holing away in ritzy Hightown, turning a blind eye to the desperation of Kirkwall's poor, and Hawke privately agreed. However, in the wallows of her own grief over her mother, she felt a deep sympathy for Dumar and couldn't bring herself to criticize him too sharply, not while her memory remained seared with the image of him cradling his murdered son.
When she reached the compound at the docks, she approached the Ashaad guarding the gate.
"I need to speak to the Arishok," she said boldly. The Ashaad frowned.
"Not at this hour, Serah Hawke. Return in the morning."
"Morning comes too late," she insisted. "Trust me, Ashaad, I have a matter of vital importance to discuss with him. I'll wait over there." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder to indicate the alley across the way. The Ashaad's frown deepened.
"You want me to wake the Arishok and then drag him into the streets in the middle of the night?" He muttered a Qunari phrase that Hawke assumed was impolite. "Why will you not come inside?"
"I need to show him something," Hawke said evasively. "He'll understand once he sees it. Please wake him, with my sincere apologies and a solemn promise that I'm not wasting his time."
The Ashaad grumbled but did as she asked, and Hawke retreated to the alley to wait. It didn't take long for the Arishok to appear, with a thunderous look on his face, flanked by two equally grumpy-looking Karasaads. The Arishok hadn't bothered to put on his armor, and in fact was clad only in a pair of loose linen trousers and simple sandals. Alice's eyes traveled over his imposing, muscular torso and she hummed a little in carnal admiration. He was a magnificent man.
"What is it, Hawke?" he snapped, forgoing his usual greeting. Alice pulled the pack off her back and unfastened its buckles.
"I have the Tome of Koslun," she said. She pulled the relic free and slung the pack over her shoulder. "This fulfills my part of our bargain. Will you leave Kirkwall peacefully now?"
She held the heavy book out to him and he accepted it, a reverent expression softening his harsh features. He uttered a phrase in Qunlat, his voice low and respectful, and the Karasaads echoed him solemnly. The one on the left bowed at the waist when the Arishok handed him the tome.
"Thank you, Serah Hawke," he said, his deep voice rich with gratitude. "You alone are basalit-an. You alone have proven yourself worthy, a jewel amid refuse. Would that you would return to Par Vollen with me. The Qun could use you." His lips curled up a little, for he was well-aware that Hawke had no interest in conversion. "We will leave as agreed, as soon as you turn the thief over to us."
"What?" Hawke gasped. "That wasn't part of our deal."
The Arishok frowned. "It is irrelevant to our deal. Your friend stole from the Qun and she will submit to the Qun. It is right."
Hawke's heart began to pound. "So when your justice demands it, suddenly people need to be handed over? You didn't seem so keen on the idea when it was the viddathari facing punishment."
When he was settling in for a debate, the Arishok had an infuriating habit of adopting an air of bored patience, but he took no such stance now. The air around him practically crackled with irritation as he stepped closer to her.
"Your emotion clouds your sense, Hawke. The crime my people committed was just retribution for an offense that your authorities refused to acknowledge. This thief stole for coin, plain and simple, and she faces no consequences for her actions among her own. We will have her."
"You will not." Hawke stepped closer to him as well, until they were nearly chest-to-chest. She had to tip her chin up to look him in the eye, and his glare was fearsome indeed.
"If I have to tear this city apart to find her, so be it," he snarled. "You may be willing to protect her, but do you think anyone else will? These Kirkwall gutter rats have no honor, no conscience, even if she were worthy. Threatened, they will not hesitate to deliver her to me."
Hawke knew he was right. Isabela wouldn't be safe unless she left Kirkwall, but the Arishok would destroy the city to satisfy himself that she had gone. She sighed.
"Can't you let it go? As a gesture of good will to me?"
The Arishok's expression relaxed a little and he brought his hand up as if to touch her face, then seemed to think better of it. "I cannot, not even for you. One criminal is not worth the lives that will be lost if I have to take her by force, Hawke. Surrender her to me." Tears sprang to Alice's eyes and the Arishok's own widened, clearly astonished. "You would weep for a petty thief?"
"She's my friend. Or do you not know what that is?"
"Parshaara," he said impatiently. "Of course I know friendship, but I don't make friends with honorless vashedan. You should choose your companions more wisely, Hawke. She is unworthy of your loyalty. Or your love."
Hawke sneered, furious with him for forcing this choice upon her. "You know nothing of love."
He gazed at her calmly, the heat from his chest warming her skin, and she knew he wouldn't answer her charge. Alice chewed on her thumbnail, desperately searching for a way around the Arishok's unthinkable request, until a crazy idea occurred to her. Her eyes snapped back to the Qunari general's and he stiffened when she rose up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his cheek.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, as she quickly unclipped a grenade from her belt.
The small glass bomb was filled with a powder that released a blinding cloud of smoke. Hawke's eyes stung as she ducked under the Arishok's swing and spun past him. With a grunt, she planted both feet on the thighs of the Karasaad holding the tome, pushing off of him into a backflip as she snatched the book out of his hands. Her attack had been too sudden, too unexpected – because the Arishok trusted me, she thought, with an unhappy twist of guilt – and the Qunari were still scrambling to get away from the stinging, choking vapors when Hawke slipped through the manhole leading to the sewer and escaped, clutching the Tome of Koslun to her chest.
…
"Hawke, you're mad," Fenris said, after she'd told him what she'd done. "You didn't really think Isabela could strand them here for four years without consequence, did you?"
Alice shrugged helplessly. "Why not? He had what he wanted. I certainly didn't think he'd force me to choose between Isabela and Kirkwall."
"Then you don't understand the Qunari," Fenris replied darkly.
"Understatement of the year," Hawke replied, rolling her eyes. "Now I need to secure a deal with the Arishok before he burns down every building in the city just to make a point."
"Will he negotiate with you?"
"I think so," Alice said hesitantly. "He wants his book back and it's not like I actually have any interest in keeping it from him. Besides, strange as it may sound, I think he likes me. He's angry, but he'll talk. Well, roar. But I can live with that."
"What do you want me to do?" Fenris asked.
"Go to the compound and ask him to come here to discuss handing over the tome. Try to get him to come now, if you can. I don't want to give him any time to start blowing things up."
Fenris looked dubious. "What's to stop him from holding me hostage until you return the relic?"
"The tome is currently being held by a third party who won't turn it over until they are satisfied that the Qunari will leave peacefully, without prisoners. Keeping you hostage will do him no good."
The elf stared at her evenly, doubt and concern in his eyes. "You're going to get me killed."
"He won't kill you." At Fenris' incredulous look, she shrugged. "It would be wasteful."
He sighed. "Fine, I'll deliver your message, but at least send someone with me for back up."
Alice laughed helplessly. "You're the only one besides me who doesn't totally piss him off. Any back up I could send will just increase the chance of beheadings."
Fenris sighed irritably. "This sounds ridiculously dangerous, but I trust you, Hawke. I'll return as soon as I can with the Arishok's response."
The waiting was agony, even though the Arishok appeared at her door within the hour. At his insistent pounding, she opened it a crack, intending only to admit him, not his soldiers. She should have anticipated that he would barge in, her feeble attempts to hold the door against him no match for his considerable strength. She backed up against the wall to get out of his way and he immediately grabbed her by the throat, bringing his face within an inch of hers.
"Where is it?" he asked, his voice low, cold, and calm.
"I don't have it," she gasped, her voice raspy, strained, and breathless.
"Who does?"
"Please," she choked, clutching his wrist. He relaxed his grip but kept his hand curled around her neck, his thumb pressing against her trachea. "Will you come into my office to discuss this?"
"There is nothing to discuss. Return the Tome of Koslun to me or face a thief's punishment."
Alice couldn't help but smirk triumphantly and the Arishok lifted one eyebrow, contemplating her curved lips.
"Do not play games with me, Hawke."
"I'm not playing. Will you, and you alone, please come into my office?" she pleaded. The Arishok glanced at the Qunari crowding the doorway, then back at Hawke and nodded. Alice smiled. "My servant will be happy to offer your men refreshments, if they wish to wait in the parlor."
The Arishok's full lips curled into a sneer as he issued a command to his men in Qunlat. They backed out of the doorway and before the door snapped shut, Alice saw that Fenris was among them and he seemed well enough. Thank the Maker.
The Arishok stepped back and released his hold on her. Hawke coughed, rubbing her throat, and shot him a dirty look that he returned with a hostile scowl. Motioning him to follow, she led him into her office and closed the door.
"Will you have a seat?" she asked, gesturing to a chair before her desk that seemed comically small next to the giant of a man.
"No," he snapped. "Where is the Tome, Hawke?"
"The Grand Cleric has it." Hawke winced as the Arishok immediately began to growl and she held up her hand. "Just for safe-keeping! If you will consent to meet with the Viscount and form a formal agreement to leave Kirkwall without prisoners, Elthina will return your tome. Everyone gets something they want. Sound good?" Hawke rested her backside against the edge of her desk, smiling at him brightly.
"No!" he thundered. "The thief must submit to the Qun. Her crime is too great to overlook."
Hawke swallowed, praying her gambit would pay off. "Well, technically, I'm the thief now. So I suppose I'm the one who must submit."
The Arishok glowered and moved closer to her. "Do you think the Qun so rigid and indiscriminate that her punishment would fit your crime? Do you think me so incapable of nuance?"
"I hope not," Hawke admitted. "May I be frank with you?"
The Arishok loomed over her, bracing his hand on the desk at both sides of her hips. "I would expect no less."
Alice licked her lips nervously and his eyes followed the quick flick of her tongue. He was so close that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her face, and a crazy part of her wanted to close the gap completely, to press her mouth to his and slide her tongue between his teeth. He'd probably bite it off if she tried.
"I like you, Arishok, and I think by now you've realized that I'm sympathetic to the Qunari predicament in Kirkwall. But Isabela is my friend, and I love her, and I know that whatever it means to 'submit to the Qun' will be the end of her, if not her life then her spirit. I can't allow it, even if every notion of justice demands it. Punish me instead, in whatever way fits my crime. If you won't let me have Isabela as a gift, then I'm taking her as my price."
The Arishok's brows drew together angrily. "You said you weren't playing games."
"I'm not," Hawke assured him. "I will submit to your punishment."
He scowled. "Parshaara, this is foolishness. You're wasting my time. I'm not leaving this cesspool without the Tome and the thief. Provide them to me by sunrise or I will be forced to take matters into my own hands."
"Arishok, please!" Alice cried, impulsively gripping his shoulders. "It doesn't have to be like this! If you will just relent on the issue of Isabela, you can have your Tome and be free of Kirkwall without violence. You know if you attack the city, you'll lose men. Why waste them, when you could be on your way safely home with your holy relic restored to you?"
The Arishok leaned closer, forcing her knees apart with his thighs. "You beg so easily, Hawke."
"What?" she asked, startled, and pulled her hands away.
"Please," he mocked her, imitating her voice. "Arishok, Arishok, please, I'm begging you. The only basra in this entire rancid city worth noticing, and yet you beg at the first opportunity. Why is that?" His eyes roved across her face insolently, a taunting smile on his lips.
Hawke glared at him. "Would you prefer that I demand what I want? It hardly seems like a sound strategy to me, but if it will work, I can certainly employ it."
"No, I like to hear you beg," he rumbled, and his tone was so unmistakably sensual that Hawke sucked in a surprised breath. The corners of his mouth lifted a little and he leaned in closer to her. "My men tell me you are promiscuous."
"Excuse me?" Hawke gasped.
"Have you any diseases?"
Hawke's face flushed angrily as she stared at him. He was regarding her with calm curiosity, seemingly oblivious to the insulting impropriety of his question. If she didn't need to negotiate a deal with him so badly, she'd have told him to get the hell out of her office, and probably aimed her boot at his backside on the way out.
"No, I certainly do not, not that it's any of your business. What's gotten into you?"
The Arishok straightened up and removed his hands from her desk. "I am disinclined to punish you for the theft of the Tome, since I know you had no intention of keeping it. You claim the thief's life is your price for returning it to me, but I find the exchange unacceptable." He paused and tilted his head slightly, his gaze raking over her body from toe to crown. "I need something more. I will erase your friend's debt to the Qun, if you will consent to render a service for me. Not a punishment, but a gift."
Hawke swallowed nervously. "What kind of service?"
The Arishok's lips curled into a tiny smile. "Tell me, Hawke, do you know what a Tamassran does?"