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Am I the asshole for setting high expectations for my sons?
I, male 53, father of 3 boys (24, 20, and 15). I own a chain of resorts and hotels in Thailand, managing it all with my wife and eldest son.
I've always wanted to keep the business management within our family since I inherited it from my own father. It used to be just 2 small resorts in Chonburi when my father handed the business over to me and my wife. It was tough but we've grown it to more than 25 resorts and 10 hotels in Thailand and several overseas (Malaysia, Philippines, Indonesia, Japan, Korea, America, and UK).
My second son, 20, has always been the better student out of all my boys. He's organized, driven, and all around reliable. He's been helping with our accounting since he's in highschool. And even though he's still in university, he has been helping out on the hotel management in our Bangkok branches.
My eldest son has been working with us for 2 years now since he graduated from his Masters from America. He does decent work but I feel like he could do more.
My youngest, 15, is eager to please. He's really close with both his older brothers and have always stated his desire to also go in business management for studies to help out in the future.
I can't help but compare my boys' attitudes, business wise.
My wife and I are preparing to expand to a new location in London - and with my second son already deciding on taking his Masters there - it's a good opportunity to check the area and proceed with the plans.
I've recently asked my eldest to manage our out-of-town resorts in Chonburi. There are constant problems at the properties that need hands-on management. There has been little improvement in the weeks he's been at the location. I feel like he's not taking time to solve the issues, he's always online at odd hours of the night and coming home late.
I've managed to expand the business from the small beginnings my father started, and I don't want my sons to suffer as I have back then. I want them to live a comfortable life that we have built now.
So, is it so bad that I have high expectation from all my sons, especially my eldest since he's the one who will first inherit the business?