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Today has just been a sucky day all around for Tony. The accords are a mess, hundreds of papers, he still has to go through and mend, sit spread out at his workstation. He hasn’t slept in at least thirty hours. And to top it all off, today is the anniversary of his parents death; murdered by the Winter Soldier. He knows it was Hydra, but Bucky’s face still comes to mind when he thinks of what happened. The man he is trying to help by mending the accords is the man that killed his parents. His mind was controlled by the ruthless organization, but it was his hands, Bucky’s physical body that killed them. Today Tony feels like throwing every piece of the contract out and giving up on it.
His head hurts as he tries, once again, to read the same paragraph for the third time, yet he still has no idea what it says. He finally throws it back on the table with a little too much force and holds his head in his hands. That happens to be the exact time one, Peter Parker, enters the room for their usual lab time.
Peter stops short at the threshold when he sees Tony hunched over his desk, head in his hands, papers everywhere. At first, he says nothing not wanting to scare the man, but his worry wins out as he quietly asks, “Mr. Stark, are you okay?” Despite his best effort Tony still jumps a bit at the sound of his voice in the silent room.
After his heart comes back down from the sudden surprise Tony looks up from his hands to see a worried Peter Parker still at the door. He knows Peter almost always joins him in the lab after school, but he was just hoping, begging, he wouldn’t have to interact with another human being. Content with being around his cold mechanical machines.
He usually looks forward to his time in the lab with Peter. They laugh, build, eat, and it’s usually a blast. His kid is just that, his, he adopted Peter after May passed away and never looked back. Usually, just the sight of his kid cheers him up. Sadly today is not usual.
Today he just wants to be alone, annoyed at every little thing. He feels like a ticking time bomb and just can't handle the company. He wants to hide away from the world just as he does every year on this day.
“Mr. Stark?” He hears from the door again.
Tony sighs, everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine , he thinks to himself over and over and then plasters a fake smile on his face, “Hey kid, how was school?”
Still a bit wary Peter walks into the lab. “It was fine.” He goes to sit down at his station. “Is everything okay Mr. Stark?” Peter knows a fake smile when he sees one, he’s had to put one on more times than he cares to admit.
“Yup, right as rain. What do you want to work on today?” Tony says as he turns around to collect and stack the papers littering his desk, and also to hide his face from view so Peter doesn’t see the truth peek through his masked expression.
Peter keeps looking worriedly toward the mechanic but turns to his backpack grabbing out his books. “I was planning on finishing my homework for the weekend before anything else.”
Tony lets out a breath; that gives him time. They can each work separately in silence while his headache hopefully calms down. “Sounds good kid.” He says as he sits back down, all pages in a neat stack in his hands.
Peter gives a small nod as he eyes the man suspiciously one more time before turning fully to his desk and opening his notebook as he starts his homework.
_______
They work in silence for about half an hour until Peter gets to a very difficult problem. He tries to do it three times before he lets out an aggravated sigh. What was surprising was that, whenever he lets out a noise like that or anything close to it Mr. Stark is usually immediately on alert asking if he is okay or needs help. He looks over to see the man staring down at a pile of papers, eyebrows furrowed in exhaustion and frustration.
He second-guesses his decision to ask the man for help, but he’s really stuck, “Uh, Mr. Stark?” He hears Tony sigh.
“What’s up kid?” The man asks in an exasperated voice but doesn’t look up from the contract.
From the man’s response, Peter’s reply is even more hesitant. “I, uh, I’m kinda stuck on this question and I was… I was hoping you could walk me through it.”
Tony usually jumped at the chance to help Peter with his schoolwork. Since Peter is basically a genius Tony can’t help the kid with much school-wise, but when he can he feels useful and glad to help. Today though he has no patience for any work. His or Peter’s. He answers as he stares intensely at the neverending contract in his hand, surprised there aren’t burning holes where his eyes are locked on the black text. “You’re a genius, can’t you figure it out.” He even winces at the way that sounded, but it’s already out there and he doesn’t have the energy to take it back and assure the brilliant kid that he didn’t mean it.
Peter is surprised at his mentor’s answer, although he is more hurt than anything else. Tony is the one who taught him to ask questions. Told him that questions are how we learn. He looks back down at his paper as tears start to prickle in his eyes. He wipes his eyes before they can fall berating himself in his head for being a baby. “Sorry, I-I’ll figure it out.” His voice is quieter than before, but the lump in his throat makes it hard to be any louder.
If Tony was truly paying attention to the spider kid instead of the Accords he could have heard the crack in Peter’s voice. Tony just wanted this day to end.
After another five attempts in trying to solve the problem, he has been stuck on; he finally gave up planning on asking Ned what he got. He turned back to look at Tony who was still just staring at the page in front of him. Peter can’t be positive because he was doing his homework, but if he’s not mistaken the mechanic is on the same page he was on thirty minutes ago. He hesitates in speaking up since the last time brings tears to his eyes the second he thinks about it. All he wants to do is prove to the great Tony Stark that he is useful and smart. Obviously, he is doing something wrong since that same man just yelled at him for being dumb. Still like earlier, his worry overshadows his fear of rejection just a little bit. “Mr. Stark, i-is everything alright?” He hears a sigh, but no answer or movement from the man beyond that. He continues despite his apprehension, “I-I’m sorry your h-having a bad day Mr. Stark. I understa-”
Before he can finish his sentence Tony jerks out of his chair and strides over to Peter in two angry steps looming over him like a predator cornering its prey. “You don’t understand anything!!” Peter looks up at the enraged man with red-rimmed eyes above him. His face was full of shock and fear. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Although that’s all you do, talk, ramble, usually about things that don’t matter or things you have no idea about!” Peter quickly snaps his mouth shut to keep any words or sobs from coming through. “You sit in my lab where you usually concoct amazingly brilliant solutions for your webs and yet you can’t do a measly math problem?! Gees, why do I have to spell it out for you? I thought you got a scholarship to that genius school of yours!”
Peter holds back the tears and chokes out, “I-I-I’m sorry Mr. Stark. I-I d-didn’t mean t-” His stutters are cut off.
Mr. Stark can see the tears welling in the boy’s eyes, “You’re going to cry?” Peter can’t help it when the tears start to fall. “Seriously? Stark men don’t cry, Stark men are made of iron!” Tony lifts his hand up. Peter closes his eyes tight waiting for the blow to come. He senses it, he knows it’s coming, and he knows he can dodge it, but he stays still. He doesn’t want to make the man madder than he already is. He waits and waits for the blow to come, anticipating the burning sting about to engulf his cheek… but it never does. Hesitantly, Peter squints open one eye to see the hand still mid-swing and Tony looking towards it in fear? Horror? Shock? Peter isn’t sure.
Tony stares at his hand, that same hand that he almost hit his child with. Although right now it’s not his hand. When he stares at the slightly shaking appendage he just sees his father’s hand. Howard Stark, the one person he promised he would never become.
Finally finding his voice after watching a frozen Mr. Stark for at least a minute he says, “Mr. Stark,” his whispers, “I-I’m really sor-”
Once again he is cut off, “Just go.” Tony says defeatedly coming back to reality.
Peter looks up at the man in shock. Never once has he kicked Peter out of the lab. “Mr. Star-”
“Get Out!” The man all but yells. Peter scrambles out without a thought just moving as fast as he can to get away. He gets in the elevator the moment FRIDAY opens the door and he doesn’t even press a floor. Luckily FRIDAY intuitively guesses that he will want to go to the penthouse where his room is located. He doesn’t even notice the room move as all he can focus on his rapidly beating heart, his breath that is coming out fast and shallow, and Mr. Stark's words. He only notices that he stepped out of the elevator and ran down the hall when he was actually in his room closing the door. He locks it behind him and crawls onto the bed, feeling the cold wet tracks on his cheeks as his tears keep overflowing no matter how much he wills himself to stop crying.
What did he do wrong? What can he do to fix it? Why did he have to be so much of a burden? Why can’t he ever make others happy instead of making them angry or disappointed?
He’s under the covers shivering, but not from being cold. His breaths are fast as he hears the echo of Tony’s voice in his head. You have no idea what you’re talking about! Although that’s all you do, talk, ramble, usually about things that don’t matter or things you have no idea about! Peter knows he talks too much, but he didn’t realize until now how annoying it is to other people. Does everyone else think it is annoying as well? He goes through a mental list in his head of his friends and family, the list has shortened considerably in his short life, each name scratched off in his mind like an old shopping list. Ned probably finds his theories boring and he is positive MJ does since she finds nothing interesting. May used to nod along to his rambles, but she never seemed to enjoy the topics. The only person he can think of that always seemed pleased and interested in his rambling was the same man that just yelled at him and kicked him out. It made no sense.
No matter what, logic in this moment took a back burner and his emotions took over. He stayed in bed sobbing his eyes out but also trying to keep as quiet as possible as to not disturb anyone. He has been enough of a burden, he doesn’t need to add to the growing outstanding debt he works to pay toward Tony and Pepper for all they have done. He cries himself to sleep still breathing shallowly even in his unconscious state.
_______
Throughout the next few hours, Peter’s shallow breaths start to turn into wheezes making it harder and harder to breathe. When he finally can get barely any air at all he wakes up just to start coughing rubbing his tight chest as if it would help relieve the feeling. Once his coughing fit is over he sucks in a deep breath, or he tries to. Instead, he gets in a whistle-like, shallow, wheeze. And then another, and another, each getting shallower and faster. He can’t breathe. He tries to call out to FRIDAY, but can’t get the words out. He tries to get out of bed trying to get to his dresser where he has a spare inhaler, but just pushing himself up on his bed is taking up all his energy. Energy he should be saving for trying to breathe.
After way more effort than it should take he half rolls and half falls off the bed onto the floor. His legs tangled in the sheets pulling them off the bed making it even harder for him to move. Still, painstakingly slowly, he takes in tiny sips of air and drags himself, as well as the twisted sheets farther and farther across the floor.
Halfway to the dresser, his head starts to feel lighter. Part of him knows this is a bad thing and oxygen is being cut off from his brain. Another part though is glad something feels lighter as his whole body feels heavy and full of pins and needles. The pins and needles soon give way to numbness and he can’t seem to really move anymore and he just lays down where he is on the hardwood floor. His eyes once again fill with tears as he realized he was all alone and can’t get help. When he ran out of the lab earlier he left everything, his suit, his homework, his backpack, and his phone. He tries over and over to get more air into his oxygen-deprived lungs but all that comes out is weak wheezes. His chest starts spasming giving him the feeling of a fish out of water. He stares towards the door. His way out to find help, but it’s too far. He watches as the brown wood starts to mix and blend with the white walls as his vision starts to blur and black dots start dancing and multiplying in his line of sight. He’s fading fast and he knows it. He just wishes he had time to apologize to Tony.
____
Pepper is in her office doing the paperwork Tony won’t touch with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole. As she signs her name for the thousandth time that day FRIDAY’s voice fills the room, startling the woman just slightly. “Ms. Potts, I have been trying to contact Boss, but he has shut down my systems in the lab. I am afraid it is quite urgent, Peter is in distress and needs immediate medical assistance.”
Half her signature is left unwritten as he quickly stands from her chair and starts running, which in turn makes some papers fly off her desk, but she gives them no mind. “Get Happy up here now!” She orders as she runs, “Alert the Medbay to set up a room, make sure Helen is there.”
“Done, is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Yeah, later, do your best to stop me from killing my fiance,” She breathes out just as she arrives at Peter’s door, breathing heavily, but not giving herself time to catch her breath. Without hesitation, she grabs the knob but finds it locked. “Unlock the door FRIDAY.” As soon as she heard the telltale click she swings the door open just to see Peter jerking on the ground, his mouth open, but no sound coming out. His eyes are half-lidden with tears still leaking out, and his face is pale with a sheen of sweat on his forehead. His legs are tangled within his twisted sheets, keeping him bound where he is. She rushes in and slams down on her knees when she reaches the boy. “Peter?” Nothing but a choked noise can be heard. She cups his tears-stained cheeks in her hands and looks into his drooping eyes. “Peter, can you hear me?” Peter doesn’t show any comprehension of what she is saying as another jerk accompanied by a painful small wheeze comes out of his mouth. “Shit, okay you’re going to be just fine.” She says even though the boy seems not to be hearing her.
Just then Happy comes running into the room. “FRIDAY told me to hurry up here what’s goi-” he cuts himself off as he looks down at Peter and his obvious struggle for oxygen. “Shit!”
“Grab him and bring him to the medbay now!” Pepper yells, and if Pepper is yelling you know it’s bad.
Happy nods quickly as he scoops the kid up with one hand under his knees and one behind his back. As he and Pepper run, Happy can feel Peter’s body jerk weakly, but his chest never expands. He wills himself to run faster knowing they don’t have much time.
The elevator feels like it talks forever for both Happy and Pepper, but no one as much as Peter who is still fighting to get in a breath. He tries to suck in the air surrounding them, but it's like his throat has completely closed leaving him to gasp for air that will never make it into his aching lungs. As soon as the doors open Happy bolts out towards the medbay calling for help, Pepper close behind.
Nurses surround Happy halfway down the hallway and take the kid from his arms just as Peter starts to go limp, the fight leaving him as oxygen deprivation takes over. As Peter is rushed away one nurse stays behind with the frazzled terrified adults, “What happened?”
Happy is at a loss as he is not the one who found the boy and Pepper is trying to string words together, but her mind is going a million miles a minute. Happy puts a grounding hand on her shoulder and she takes a few deep breaths. “FRIDAY alerted me that Peter was in distress and needed medical assistance. I ran to his room where he was on the floor wheezing fighting to stay awake.” her voice gets higher and higher as she recounts the events, finally cracking at the last word.
The nurse nods, “Okay, anything else we should know?”
Pepper tries to think and it takes a moment, but then she remembers, “Helen should already know this, but Peter has asthma as well as nocturnal asthma, but he hasn’t had a flare-up in months.”
“Okay, understood. Someone will let you know what’s going on once we understand what is happening and he is stable.” The nurse states as she turns and walks briskly towards where Peter disappeared.
Pepper stands there frozen, looking longingly at the doors swinging closed until Happy’s voice brings her back. “We should sit down, it might be a while.”
Pepper nods numbly but moves as she is guided to the waiting area just to their right side. They sit down and no one speaks a word.
_______
After half an hour of no news Pepper finally finds her voice, “F-FRIDAY?”
“Yes Ms. Potts.” FRIDAY’s voice filled the otherwise silent room.
“Where is Tony?”
“Boss is in his lab.”
Pepper could have guessed that, but still wanted confirmation. “Call him please.”
There was barely one ring before it disconnected. “Boss has declined the call.”
What? Tony almost always answers his calls. She knows what day today is, but she was hoping he wouldn’t hide like last year, and the year before that, and the one before that- Okay in hindsight it’s not that surprising he declined the call.
She was about to call again, but another question popped into her head before she could ask FRIDAY to try again, “What was P-Peter doing before this happened?”
“He was in the lab before arriving in his room.”
“He was with Tony before this?” Happy cut-in.
“Yes.” The mechanical voice replied.
“Can you show us what happened?” Pepper asked.
Instead of verbally answering, FRIDAY displayed a hologram in front of the two, starting at the time Peter got to the lab door. Pepper and Happy’s eyes immediately fell on Tony with his head in his hands. They watched the two’s interaction as Tony suddenly put on an obviously strained fake smile. They fast forward a bit as the two don’t interact for a good thirty minutes. They unpause as Peter asks for help with a math problem. They watched as Tony harshly denied the boy help with his homework. Something Pepper knows he looks forward to doing. And also watches Peter’s quiet apology as he looks back down at his books.
They fast forward a bit more until Peter speaks up again asking if Tony is ok and seeing the man ignore him. Then when Peter says he is sorry that Tony is having a bad day and that he understands they see Tony completely blow up and scream at the well-meaning kid. They both watch on in alarm at the escalating interaction that they can’t do anything about since it was over hours ago. Then they both flinch back eyes wide as Tony lifts his hand up with malicious intent. No, Tony, you wouldn’t! Pepper thought in horror. And luckily he didn’t, instead, he just stared at the offending hand. Moments later he ordered Peter to leave and then when he didn’t, he screamed at the boy who then scrambled away as fast as he possibly could.
After the hologram shut off, they sat in silence, neither one having words for what they just watched. Pepper’s mind went back to the obvious tear tracks he saw on the wheezing boy’s face and everything became a lot clearer to her. “F-FRI, was Peter in medical distress when he got back to his room.”
“No, Mr. Parker was in emotional distress and fell asleep after a while. He woke up in physical distress soon after.” Nocturnal asthma immediately filled the forefront of Pepper’s mind. Tony, what did you do? She thought as they stayed silent, both sets of eyes staring at the medbay door praying for some kind of update. She silently looked over to Happy, who was also looking towards the medbay, but also had both hands in tight fists and a look of anger took up his features.
“Call Tony again.” She stated.
“I’m sorry Ms. Potts, the call was once again declined.”
“I’m going to kill him.” Happy states. Although the man usually seemed annoyed by the teen, he had a soft spot for him. He felt protective over him, just as he thought Tony did too… until he watched what had happened that is. No matter how it looks, Happy does care for the kid. One of his biggest regrets in life is not listening to Peter about the vulture. He knows the boy got hurt because of his negligence and he will never be able to make it up to him. He didn’t realize he had even gotten up from his seat, ready to barge into Tony’s lab, until Pepper laid a hand on his shoulder stopping him.
Pepper then steps in front of him and they make eye contact. Her face is creased in worry, anger, and calmness that only comes from years of practice dealing with Tony, “I’ll go talk to him. Stay here in case Peter needs us and have FRIDAY inform me of any news.”
Happy isn’t happy about this, no pun intended, but he nods. “Give him a piece of mind will you?” His eyebrows furrow in anger.
“Only after I give him a piece of mine.” She states before walking past him, down the hall and into the elevator.
When she gets out of the elevator she walks down to the lab but finds it locked. She enters her security code, but is denied access. “FRIDAY, let me in.”
“I am sorry, but Boss has restricted access to only himself,” FRIDAY replies, and although mechanical, her voice sounds regretful and almost disapproving.
“Override code: IRYFCYC,” (I Run Your Freaking Company You Child) This is not the first time she has had to use an override code. Basically anytime Tony has a tantrum.
“Access granted,” FRIDAY states as the door opens.
Before she can say a word Tony speaks up, not turning around, “Leave me alone.” The man is disheveled and has bigger, darker, circles under his eyes than usual.
“No,” She says simply, “you’re lucky I’m not in my suit. If I was, I would hit you with a powerful repulsor blast right now.” Although she tries to keep her voice even it raises just the slightest as her anger starts to peek through.
“Excuse me?” He says, finally turning towards her.
“You are most certainly not excused. Not after what you did to Peter.” Her eyes glare dagger into his skull.
Tony’s mind briefly flips back to him almost hitting the boy, but he didn’t. He didn’t touch him. “I didn’t do anything.” He mutters turning back to the desk, the papers still in front of him, but have barely been touched.
“You didn’t do anything? Seriously?” The man just shrugs nonchalantly. That gesture was the last straw. Pepper's calm collected facade breaks, “Is that why Peter is in the Medbay right now barely breathing!!” She all but screams.
Tony was not expecting that and it takes his breath away, “Wh-what?” he says turning to her, papers and anger completely forgotten in one instant. “What happened?”
“What happened? Are you really asking me that Tony?!” The man flinches at her accusatory voice, “You ignored him. Screamed at him. Almost hit him! And kicked him out!!” Tony looks down in shame, realizing Pepper must have asked FRIDAY for the footage of earlier today. “You’re lucky FRIDAY alerted me after you silenced her, Tony! Any longer and we might be having a very different conversation right now!!” Tony’s heart stutters, just the thought of losing Peter makes his chest physically hurt.
“I-Is he okay?”
“No Tony, he is most definitely now okay!!” There is a fire in her eyes he has never seen, not even when she was literally burning from the Extremis injection. “He couldn’t even get a breath in when I found him!”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” He asks dumbfounded.
If anything, Pepper's anger doubles, “Seriously?! I called Twice and you declined! I had to use an override code just to get in here!”
Tony shrinks into himself in his seat and Pepper towers over him. Although he is almost scared to speak, all he can think about is the kid. He looks up at her, “Can I see him?”
“No,” she spits out and he looks back down. “For one, he’s still being taken care of, Happy and I have no news yet of his condition. And two, I don’t want you near him. If he wants to see you, that's his choice, until then you stay down here and hide, just like you were planning on doing in the first place.” With that, she turns around and starts to walk away.
“Pepper wait!” She doesn’t, she opens the door and walks straight down the hall to the elevator. Once inside she lets out a big breath and she finally feels her heart beating rapidly in her chest. To her knowledge, she has never been that angry before in her life. Her whole mind is taken up by one word: Protect . Protect him. Protect Peter, even if it’s from her own fiance.
_______
When she gets back to the waiting room Happy hasn’t moved from his seat, his hands are clasped between his legs and he’s hunched over with his head down in an impatient worried position. It’s only when he hears the click-clack of her heels that he looks up, “How did it go?”
“I screamed at him.” She replies as she sits down beside him.
“Good.”
“Any news?”
He sighs, “No.” After that they wait in silence, looking towards the doors at any little noise.
Finally, after what feels like hours, but could not have been more than one, a tired-looking Helen walks out of the doors they had been staring at, yet at the same time avoiding. A watched pot never boils. Before she can say a word Pepper stands up, Happy doing the same beside her, and asks, “How is he?”
Helen comes over to them and stands in front of a chair across from the two worried adults. “Let’s sit.” She says gesturing to their chairs. A pit settles in the two’s stomachs as they sit back down, Helen doing the same in her chair. “I’m not going to sugarcoat anything. He was in bad shape when he came in. He couldn’t get a breath in and yet there was no obstruction of his airway.”
“Asthma,” Pepper says without even meaning to.
Helen nods, “Yes. We tried to give him an albuterol treatment, but it wasn’t working.” Pepper and Happy’s eyes both show fear, Helen sees this and continues on to try and relieve their worst fears, “He’s alive, but we had to put him on a ventilator. We have also put him in a medical coma so he doesn’t fight the tube.” The fear in their eyes didn’t disappear, but it did dim just the slightest bit, but not by much. “We are keeping him in the ICU so he can have round-the-clock treatment. Once he can be taken off the ventilator we will wake him up and move him to one of the normal medbay rooms and discuss future precautions as well as preventative measures and treatments.” She takes a breath. “He has an inhaler, correct?” She knew the answer as she is the one who writes refill prescriptions for him, although she hasn’t had to in quite a while.
“Yes.” Pepper replied in a quiet voice.
“Do you know where it is?” Helen asked.
Pepper feels like a horrible guardian, because, “No, I-I don’t.” Her voice is filled with shame.
Helen nodded, she thought as much, “From now on he should keep one on him at all times as well as have one next to his bed since he has nocturnal asthma. I am also going to write a prescription for four more, one for you,” she looks to Pepper, “one for you to hold on to,” she looks to Happy, “one for the school nurse, and one for Tony in case Peter forgets his.” Happy and Pepper make brief eye contact at the mention of Tony. “Basically we want to make sure one is available at any time Peter needs it no matter who he is with.” They both nod. “You can see him, but as he is in the ICU visitation is for short periods of time. After he is moved to general care you can stay with him.” She gets up and the two follow suit. They walk behind her as she walks through the medbay doors down a few halls and then stops at a smaller area of the facility. She opens a door and leads them into Peter’s room.
Both take in the horrible sight. Peter, asleep in the stark white bed covered by a thin blanket and dressed in a hospital gown. He has wires coming out of the neckline of said gown, presumably to leads on his chest tracking his heart. There is an IV in the back of his hand. Worst of all, though, is the tube taped to the side of his face that disappears in his mouth, the other side is connected to a machine that sounds like it’s breathing. Although that is exactly what it’s doing, it’s breathing for Peter. Pepper can’t help but cover her mouth in shock at the sight. Peter lays there completely still, except for the forced up and down of his chest, his skin is pale, and he looks nothing like the overly energetic, overly talkative, sweet genius boy they know.
“I’ll leave you two alone, but someone will come in soon to check on him. At that time I will ask that you leave. I know it is hard, but these rules are in place to help him.” They both nod stiffly and then Helen takes her leave.
“I’m going to kill him.” Happy reiterates from earlier and Pepper doesn’t blame him. “How could he do this?” He hasn’t taken his eyes off Peter since they came into the room.
Part of Pepper’s brain says, he didn’t mean to , but the other part says, that doesn’t matter, it still happened. “This,” Pepper gestures to the unconscious boy in the bed, “will kill him more than either of us could.” Happy tears his eyes from Peter to look at Pepper. She’s right, Peter being hurt will destroy Tony more than Afghanistan or that goddamn Wormhole ever could.
They sit in silence apart from the whirling of the ventilator and the beeping of Peter’s pulse until a nurse comes in to check Peter’s stats. They wait to see how he is, and after the nurse informs them that Peter is still stable they reluctantly leave.
Pepper looks at her watch to see that it is getting late. Once they get through the medbay doors Pepper turns to Happy. “Go home, get some rest. I will call you if anything changes.”
Happy nods tiredly, “What are you going to do?”
Pepper sighs, “Go talk to Tony.”
“Sure you don’t need backup? We can stop each other from killing him.”
She gives a small sad smirk, “As tempting as that is, FRIDAY has protocols in place if Tony’s life is threatened. So, on the off chance I lose it, she’ll stop me.”
“Alright, good luck.”
“Thanks,” she replies as she walks down the hall, her heels echoing in the empty hallway.
When she gets down to the lab she finds that Tony has changed it so she has access now. She doesn’t even get a foot into the room before Tony’s frantic voice asks, “How is he?” He looks even worse than before. His hair is sticking up every which way, his clothes are even more wrinkled, his eyes are red-rimmed giving away that he was crying, and there are dents on the walls and tools on the floor showing that he threw things in aggravation.
“Not good Tony.” She answers honestly with a bite to her words.
“I want to see him.” He states defiantly.
“No.”
“I need to see him!” He shouts.
“You want to see him Tony?!” She shouts back.
Was this a trick? Of course he wants to see him. “Yes.” he answers, sure of himself.
“FRIDAY, pull up real-time footage of Peter’s medbay room.” Not even a second later a hologram appears in the middle of the room with a clear image of Peter in the hospital bed. Tony takes a sharp breath in as he stares at the glowing screen, focusing on the tube shoved down his kid’s throat. “You wanted to see him, well there he is Tony! The same place he’s been for the past few hours as he hasn’t moved once!” Tony stumbles backward and goes to sit on his work stool, but miscalculates and falls to the floor, his eyes still glued to the screen. If the fall hurts he doesn’t show it. Even after he finds himself sitting on the floor he doesn’t move. The fury in Pepper’s eyes dim just a bit as she looks at how distraught Tony is, still staring at the screen.
Finally after a good five minutes of silence save for Tony’s fast breaths, he finds his voice, hoarse and weak, “C-Can I at least know his diagnosis?”
Pepper sighs, but walks over to what is usually Peter’s work stool, homework abandoned on the table, and sits down, crossing her legs. “Severe asthma attack that would not respond to treatment.”
“H-How long will he be on that th-th-thing?” He gestures to the screen, but she knows he is talking about the breathing tube.
“We don’t know yet.”
“When will he wake up?” Tony’s voice was desperate, staring at the kid he swore to protect laying in the bed because of him.
Pepper looked down at him, as he was still on the floor, and shook her head, closing her eyes, “I don’t know. After he can breathe on his own they will wake him up,” Tony was asking all the questions she couldn’t answer fully, no matter how much she herself wanted to know.
“I watched what happened,” Tony whispered. Pepper opened her eyes just in time to see a tear slip down his cheek.
“You were there.” She stated ignoring the drop of sadness.
“No,” he corrects, “after, when I was too stubborn to go after him.” This, she had not seen or heard, all she knew was the aftermath, when she found him on the floor still slightly tangled in his sheets halfway to his dresser. “He looked so…so lost walking, almost running back to his room.” He sloppily pushes himself back, dragging his legs in front of him until he is leaned against the leg of his workbench. “H-He cried himself t-to s-sleep,” His breaths were broken and the lone tear had turned to too many to count, “b-because of m-m-me.” He takes a large breath in, “He woke up in a p-panic and looked to the ceiling like he was trying to call out for help, but w-when he opened his m-mouth no sound came, j-just a painful wheeze.” Pepper too had started to cry, thinking about what Tony was describing. “He didn’t have his phone, he left it in here when I k-kicked him…” he took another breath realizing he had no more air in his lung, a taste of what Peter had felt, “kicked him out. H-He was t-trying to get to the dresser. He k-keeps his in-inhaler in there.” Pepper didn’t know that, she had been wondering where it was. If she had known she would have grabbed it the minute she entered Peter’s room and found him on the floor.
They sit in silence, no words needing to be spoken as they each run though the events of the day over and over. The silence is finally broken by a stained sob, “M-May trusted me.” Pepper doesn’t know what to say to that. She knows today was a mistake, but it was a big mistake, one that will haunt the man for a long time. “H-How do I fix this?” Though he was looking down, his tears making small pitter-patter sounds as they hit the floor he now looks up at the screen and then to Pepper for answers. Problem is, she had none.
She sighs and wipes her eyes, trying to avoid the screen, “I don’t know Tony. It’s not up to me and it’s not up to you. It’s up to Peter and whether he forgives you.”
“I want to make this right.”
“I know you do, but until he wakes up and decides, there is not much you can do.”
“I-I can’t do nothing Pep,” he says as he pushes himself off the ground. He stumbles for one moment before he rights himself and paces in front of the holograph. “I can’t sit here while a machine is breathing for my kid.” His voice, which was weak and hoarse before, is now determined and powerful. “I have to do something. Anything.”
“What?” She asks, much of her anger faded as she watches her distraught fiance.
“Make his favorite food for when he wakes up, write an apology in the sky, cure asthma, anything!” He stops and looks at her, “What can I do?” It’s almost a plea.
“You wait, just like the rest of us.” That was not the answer he wanted, he backs up and plops down on his stool, defeated. If there is one thing Tony does not have, it’s patience.
______
It was three days later that they finally took Peter off the ventilator. His lungs are now able to take in full breaths on their own. They moved him to a normal room to wake him up. Pepper and Happy wait with bated breath, by his side for Peter to return to consciousness.
Hours after they take him off the med that keeps him asleep Pepper feels his hand twitch in her grasp. She gasps slightly, “Happy, I think he’s waking up.” She whispers. The man had dozed off, his head turned up in an uncomfortable position, but now he was wide awake looking down at the boy. The color in the boy’s cheeks had slowly returned the past few days, although still pale, it’s much better than the first day. The day that will be burned into all three adults’ minds for the rest of their lives. “Peter, can you hear me?” Pepper asks scooting closer to the bed, the chair making a loud irritating scraping noise against the linoleum tiles. The noise made the kid’s face scrunch in irritation and Pepper couldn’t help but smile.
“Kid, show us you understand.” Happy says leaning closer.
Peter groans and Happy lets out a huff of laughter. “That’s good kid, come back to us nice and slow, don’t force it.”
____
Peter can hear the two voices, but coming around is a lot more effort than it should be. Wasn’t he just waking up from his nap? It didn’t feel like it. Instead, it feels like his eyelids are glued shut and his throat is stuffed with sandpaper. “Can you open your eyes, sweetie?” Pepper. His mind supplies. Can he open his eyes? He tries but they won’t open. Apparently, Pepper sees his effort, “It’s okay honey, take your time.” There is a pause and then, “You’re in the medbay, but you are okay, we’re right here with you.” We. He thinks he heard Happy’s voice, but he didn’t hear Tony. Mr. Stark is always there when he is sick, well, he assumes he is sick. Why else would he be in the medbay?
It takes him a few more minutes, but finally, he is able to pry his eyes open. Thankfully the lights are dimmed so he isn’t assaulted by the bright white walls and lights. “Hey honey, how are you feeling?”
Pepper asks from his right. She is in a chair next to his bed in front of a window with a beautiful view of the city. “I-“ he winced at the one tiny sound he made as his throat protested. It feels like the inside of his throat has been rubbed raw. The next thing he knows there is a cup in front of him held out by his left side. He follows the arm to see who it is, Happy. The man gave him a strained smile. Peter reaches and takes the cup from the bodyguard’s hand.
Peter starts drinking, very parched, but then slows to small sips after Pepper says, “Slowly sweetie, don’t make yourself sick.” The cold running down his sore throat is heavenly, he closes his eyes and savors the feeling, but sadly he has to open them back up and face the situation around him.
“What happened?” He asks, voice hoarse, but not as painful. Both adults frown and make contact with the other. “Oh god, what did I do this time?” Peter asks, half serious, half-jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.
It didn’t work, if anything their frowns deepen and he can see slight pity in their eyes. “What do you remember?” Pepper’s voice is soft, but also very serious.
“I got home from school and went to work in the lab with Mr. Stark like usual…” there is a twinge in his chest, “I-I don’t think Mr. Stark was having a good day.” Once again the two made brief distressed eye contact before they settled their gazes back on the boy in the bed. Peter thought through his jumbled foggy brain, “I think I needed help, but I guess Mr. Stark was too busy.” Peter looks down. He remembers Tony being distant and almost despondent, but there was more. He remembers fear… fear? He is never scared around his mentor and father figure. It was then that Pepper reached out to push some curls from his face, but he flinched before she made contact. The sight of her hand coming towards his face made a memory emerge. It was a different hand, this one bigger and calloused. Peter knew that hand, it was a hand he trusted, a hand that had always been there to help him, a hand that held him up when everything got too much. Mr. Stark's hand was the same hand that had almost hit him. He remembers the exact second he believed Tony was going to purposefully harm him. How he stayed still understanding that it was his fault, he had been a burden, he had annoyed the busy man by talking too much and asking for help on some stupid schoolwork; he brought it on himself.
Pepper’s hand had frozen the second the boy flinched. She pulled it back after a second, as fast as she could, reprimanding herself. She saw the video, she knew what Peter thought and it broke her heart. She was about to apologize when Peter whispered, “I made him mad.”
“No kid, you didn’t. He was having a crappy day an-” Happy didn’t get to finish.
“No I did.” His breathing was speeding up and his heart rate was beeping faster and louder on the monitor, “I made him angry by bothering him with my stupid homework, talking too much, and prying into his life. It was my fault. If I could just shut my mouth, do my own school work, and leave him alone he would be happy. He wouldn’t have to worry about me. He is so busy and I just take up his time. Time he could be spending on-”
“Kid stop,” Happy said, trying to get the boy to calm down and take a breath, but it did not have the desired effect. Instead, Peter snapped his mouth shut so fast and dropped his gaze onto his lap. All Peter could think was, that’s all you do, talk, ramble, He wishes he could just shut up. He knows Happy hates it when he rambles. The man often puts the divider up in the car to get away from his annoying voice. Why does he have to make everyone mad, why does he always have to cause trouble?
Happy didn’t know what to say to the kid’s reaction. He didn’t mean it to be harsh or unkind, he was just worried about Peter’s breathing. The heart monitor is still beeping way faster than the adults are comfortable with. “Peter, you did nothing wrong,” Pepper spoke up after it was clear Happy wasn’t going to, still in shock from the boy’s sudden switch. She held up a hand when she saw Peter open his mouth, “and before you argue, Happy and I saw what happened.” Peter looked back down at that.
They saw everything. They saw him annoy Tony and push until the man blew up. They know how annoying he is, how he rambles and never shuts up. How he can’t even solve a math problem even though he has a scholarship, one he obviously doesn’t deserve. How he asks the Tony Stark to solve his problems when he has much better things to do than tutor a twice orphaned boy. How he is unless and only causes trouble. “Kid I can see you overthinking from here.” Happy chimes back in. “Whatever the voice in your head is saying, it’s wrong.”
Peter looked at him incredulously, how did he know? “But you saw what happened. How I couldn’t stop talking. You saw that I pushed him over the edge even though I knew he was having a bad day.”
“No,” Pepper says gently when he is done. She made an effort not to cut him off, let him finish his thought. Show him that he has a right to speak. “We saw your worry for Tony. We saw you try to comfort him and we saw him yell at you for no reason.”
“We saw him almost hit you.” Happy grinds out, his teeth clenched in anger at his best friend. Peter flinches at the memory.
“He was just mad,” Peter whispers in defense.
“That doesn’t matter!” Happy’s voice raises and Peter shrinks back. Happy immediately shut his mouth realizing his mistake. He is anything but angry at the kid, but he can’t suppress his emotions as well as the CEO beside him. “Sorry, sorry.” He says in a softer tone.
“It’s okay,” Peter whispers, looking down, avoiding eye contact. Happy berates himself in his head even more.
“But he’s right,” Peter looks up to see if she is talking about him or Happy, “it doesn’t matter,” she says calmly. So, she was talking about Happy. “No matter how mad anyone gets at you, even if there is a reason, and in this case there was not, no one should ever, ever , lay a hand on you.”
Peter looks back down. He knows that, but Tony stopped himself. “He didn’t though.” His voice was still a faint whisper.
“I know that sweetie,” Pepper’s voice is sweet and sincere, “but no one should even think about it.”
“Where is he?” Peter asks, his voice giving away the tears forming in his eyes.
“He’s in his lab.” Happy replies, his face still hard as he thinks of his long-time best friend.
“W-Why didn’t he come and visit me?” Peter finally looks up, and like they thought his eyes are shining in sadness that has yet to fall, “I-Is he still mad?”
Happy’s face immediately softens at the question, “No kid, he’s not mad, he’s worried.”
“Then why wou-”
“We wouldn’t let him.” Pepper answers actually cutting the boy off this time. Not just his question, but his self-deprecating train of thought.
“Why?” Peter asks, even though he knows the answer.
“Even though it was a mistake he did almost hit you and he did yell at you and kick you out. He didn’t check on you and you ended up here. We banned him from coming in here until you decide whether you want to see him.” Pepper explained. “Whether you choose to forgive him.”
Whether you choose to forgive him.
Before this, all he wanted was for Tony to forgive him. It was his last thought before he basically passed out. But now it is up to him? He is the one who is supposed to give forgiveness? He thought he did something wrong but Pepper and Happy are saying he didn’t, that Tony did. He doesn’t know whom to believe or whom to listen to. Himself and Tony’s actions or Pepper and Happy. If he listens to the former he has to keep admitting what a burden he is and how annoying he is. If he listens to the latter he did nothing wrong. Did he do something wrong? Pepper said whether you forgive him. Is there a scenario where he wouldn’t forgive the man? He can’t imagine that scenario, especially after all Tony has done for him.
“C-Can I see him?” Again Pepper and Happy glance at each other before lading their gazes back on the boy in the bed.
It was silent for another beat before Pepper spoke up, “It’s your choice Peter.”
“I want to see him.” He says, this time his voice is certain. She nodded and gets up to go get him. He didn’t know why she didn’t just ask FRIDAY to inform him, but he wasn’t going to ask. Happy stayed behind.
_____
Pepper went down to Tony’s lab and went in without warning. The man was working on his suit. Well, really he was doing anything to not think about the situation he created. He even took apart one of his gauntlets just to put it back together again. As soon as he heard her come in he stood up, his legs shaky from sitting all day, “What’s happening? Is he okay?”
“He’s fine,” she reassured, even if she was still mad, and rightly so, “he woke up.”
“A-And?” Tony asked, almost pleading.
“He wants to see you,” Pepper stated plainly.
Tony let out a breath. He knows he has to apologize and there is a long way to go, but at least the kid wants to see him. “Good.” He breathed out.
“I think he still thinks he did something wrong,” Pepper said, which made the guilt in Tony’s heart double.
“He didn’t,” Tony stated.
“I know that, you know that, and Happy knows that, but you need to make sure he understands that.”
“I will, I promise.”
“Okay then, he’s waiting.” Pepper turned knowing the mechanic would follow her.
They make their way up in the elevator and down the hall in the medbay. She stops at Peter’s door, opening it slowly so as to not startle the boy. “Peter, I have Tony here.” She says.
Happy gets up and makes his way to the door. As he steps out he can’t help but give a slight glare to Tony, the man looks down sorrowfully. Tony then steps into the room and Pepper closes the door behind her.
________
Although Peter hears Pepper’s heels clicking away down the hall he still hears Happy’s heartbeat. When he looks over he sees a shadow of a man through his medbay room door. Happy is keeping guard outside. The question is, is he guarding for intruders going in or on alert for the one already inside the door? Tony. Peter knows the answer, and yet it feels unnatural. Happy is Tony’s bodyguard. He is not Peter’s guard from Tony.
Tony is standing somewhat awkwardly just inside the room. Before he can even walk over to the boy Peter starts talking, “I’m sorry you were having a bad day and that I pushed you to-”
Tony stops him, “You didn’t make me do anything and you have nothing to apologize for Peter.” He starts to walk closer being mindful of the boy’s expression to see if he should back off. The boy just looks at him with wide eyes, almost confused, so he walks the rest of the way and sits in what he assumes to be Pepper’s seat. He continues, “I am the one who blew up for no reason and hurt you.” There was shame swirling in the man’s eyes as he looked at the kid.
“I get it.”
“What?” Get what? Tony was confused.
“I know what it’s like. I know what anniversaries can do.” Peter’s voice cracked and that’s when it hit Tony all at once, Peter did understand. The words he screamed at the boy came back to haunt him, You don’t understand anything!! You have no idea what you’re talking about. When in fact, he did. Tony lost his parents, yes, but Peter lost double that. Peter lost his parents and both Ben and May. How could he have not realized? “I almost got hypothermia last year when I fell asleep at Ben’s grave on the anniversary. May luckily found me and drove me home.”
“I’m sorry.” It was all Tony could think to say. The thought of the boy curled up on the grass in winter shivering as he cried next to a tombstone came to mind and it was too much.
Peter looked up, “It’s okay, I wasn’t saying that to make you feel bad or for pity. I just want you to know you’re not alone and that I can understand how you felt.” Tony was dumbfounded. He yelled at the kid, almost hit him, kicked him out, was the cause of a life-threatening asthma attack, and yet the boy was still trying to comfort him and make sure he is ok. No person could be this thoughtful and kind. He thought. This is insane. This is unbelievable. This is… This is Peter Parker.
“Thanks kid, but that doesn’t make up for my actions. I acted just like my father and I can’t have you around if I act like that.” Tony looked down at his lap.
The weight of the words settled on Peter’s shoulders, “You don’t want me anymore.” It was almost a whisper.
“What? No, god no Peter, but I can’t have you around if I’m going to hurt you. I can’t hurt you again.” The man said, looking up at the boy.
“You stopped yourself!” Peter was getting mad now. He didn’t want to leave.
Tony winced as he pictured his hand frozen mid-swing, “It wasn’t just that. If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have had that asthma attack.” He tried to keep his voice level, but it was getting harder and harder.
“You didn’t give me asthma Mr. Stark.” Peter crossed his arms.
“No, but I did cause the attack.” Peter was about to say something, but Tony continued, ”The last thing I want to do is hurt you…again.” Involuntary tears pooled in the old man's eyes, “I vowed never to become my father, but I failed.”
“No, you didn-”
“Yes I did.” He cut the boy off, “I rose a hand to a child. It doesn’t matter that there was no contact, the next time there could be.”
“There will be no next time.” Peter sounded so sure.
“How do you know? How do you know that next year on the anniversary I won’t accidentally?”
“Because I know you.”
“You didn’t know my father.” He says with a bite, but it wasn’t directed at Peter, more to the man that tormented Tony. The one that is rotting six feet underground.
“You are not him.”
“I am, look what I did!” Tony couldn't take this anymore, his hatred of himself bubbling to the surface.
“That wasn’t you, that was grief.” Peter tried to bring the man back from his self-deprecating thoughts and words.
“No, it was me, it was my hand, my voice, and my actions!” Tony stands and puts his hands in his hair, tugging on the strands until it hurts, “Can’t you see? I’m no good at this! I’m just like my father!” More words that he said to Peter flooded his mind, the same word his dad used to say to him, Stark men don’t cry, Stark men are made of iron! Peter watches him but says nothing, knowing he needs to get this out of his system. Tony takes a breath and sits down once more. This time his voice is much quieter and smaller, “I don’t know why in the world May gave me custody of you.”
Finally, Peter speaks up, “May was the smartest woman I ever knew, don’t tell Pepper I said that,” Tony would have smirked at the comment in any other situation, “and if she trusted you I don’t question her decision for one moment.” Peter’s eyes well with tears as he thinks about his aunt, but behind those tears is unwavering certainty. He realizes now that if Pepper, Happy, and even Tony all believe he did nothing wrong that it must be true. “You made a mistake Tony,” he says evenly. The use of the man’s first name makes him straighten up and really truly listen, “mistakes don’t define us, it’s how we correct those mistakes and learn from them that makes us who we are.”
Damn, his kid is profound and a genius, smarter than he will ever be. “I don’t deserve a kid like you,” Tony said sitting back down.
“Whether you deserve me or not, you’re stuck with me.” Usually, Peter would not use the words, stuck with me , because he often thinks of himself as a burden. But this is his way of telling Tony I’m not going anywhere no matter what.
Tony looked at the kid and the unwavering trust in his eyes and knew he must have done something right in life to have him there. To be honest, he couldn’t think of a world without Peter, his world without Peter, and he didn’t want to think of one. And he knows he will do everything in his power to make it up to the kid and make his life as amazing as it can be, just as he has already done for Tony. He “Yeah I am,” Tony smiles, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Peter smiles back.
Peter is too trusting and he knows that, but luckily it’s not just him looking out for the kid. Happy and Pepper will protect him, even if it’s from Tony himself. He vows that they will never have to again, but he knows they will always be there.
“Now scoot over, I’m getting cold over here.” Peter obliged happily as well as being careful of the wires still connected to himself. Tony climbed onto the bed and under the blanket. Peter then cuddled up close and rested his head on Tony’s chest as his eyes started to droop from exhaustion. The older man wrapped one arm around his back and used the other to card through the boy’s curls. Tony then kissed the crown of his kid’s head before resting his cheek on top.
Tony will not turn into Howard. He will make sure Peter is never alone and always loved.
“By the way,” he said softly, “it took me a while to figure out that math problem you were stuck on, but I did. I’d be happy to walk you through it later.” And he would be, he would be happy to help his kid in any way possible.