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Call Me By Your Name

Summary:

THIS FIC IS BETA READ BY Escapethrustory FROM CHAPTER 9!!!
Simon never went to Hillerska, but Sara did. And so did Wilhelm. Erik never died, but Wilhelm is still all alone - or so he feels like. Wilhelm somehow saved the wrong number in his phone and is now texting this funny, energetic guy... What's not to like?

Unknown number
Hey! Running late. Be there in a sec.

Simon
WHO is this???

Unknown number
Ups, sorry. Guess I saved the wrong number.
Take it that you’re not Felice then?

Simon
Sorry, to disappoint you, but I’m not

Simon
Do you need me to act like Felice? I can totally do that if you need me to.
You know, if you need to get out of a bad situation...

Simon
Sorry, that was stupid. I’ll stop texting you now.... sorry

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Unknown number

Hey! Running late. Be there in a sec.

 

Simon

WHO is this???

 

Unknown number

Ups, sorry. Guess I saved the wrong number.

Take it that you’re not Felice then?

 

Simon

Sorry, to disappoint you, but I’m not

 

Simon

Do you need me to act like Felice? I can totally do that if you need me to.

You know, if you need to get out of a bad situation...

 

Simon

Sorry, that was stupid. I’ll stop texting you now.... sorry

 

Simon put back his phone in his pocket. He should really try to pay more attention to this class anyways. He needed to do good in school to get away from Björsted and into a university in Stockholm. He needed to get away from this town as soon as possible. It felt like he was slowly drowning in the monotony everyday hustle of this town.

Yes, his family and friends lived here, but it was also the place where his father- who by now, not was considered family - lived. All the people who were picking on his sister lived here and their families lived here and everyone knew everyone and it was all just so boring.

Simon was not born for boring he was born for...

 

Unknown number

Sorry, had a really important presentation in class today. Couldn’t miss it.

Sorry

 

                     Simon

Ohh, so you’re in school too. I was starting to worry that I was texting this old man or a creep or something.

 

Unknown number

I don’t need to be in School just bc it’s a presentation I was running late for. Maybe I’m in this really big law firm and I was running late to defend my client.

 

Unknown number

Or maybe I’m this older math teacher who was about to do a presentation for his colleagues on how to prevent student for falling asleep in class.

 

Simon

I have no idea what to say to this..... to you

 

Unknown number

Sorry, just trying to be funny and mysterious.

I’m 16 and I was running late for a history presentation.

 

Simon

Well, mysterious 16-year-old. Thanks for letting me know this. Still don’t know what to say.

 

Simon

I’m 16 too.

 

Unknown number

That’s cool. Guess it’s kind of strange to keep texting a number you don’t known. I’ve never done that before.

 

Simon

There is a first for everything.

Look, I really need to go. School and all that. Must keep my grades up so I can leave this place eventually.

Text you later!

 

Unknown number

Sure. That would actually be nice. You texting me later I mean. Not you wanting to leave. That does not sound good in any way, but somehow, I guess I know what you mean.

 

Simon smiled at his phone. This person was something else. Who would keep texting a wrong number throughout the day and then admit, that they wanted to keep texting? Other than Simon. He stared at the last text he sent himself and froze in the middle of the hallway. Had he really just tolled a stranger that he wanted to leave Björsted? No, in those exact words. He wanted to leave. That was all he had admitted to. Because he wanted to leave so, so bad. And after confirming that to a stranger Simon had said that he would text the unknown number later. What was going on with him?

 

“Ay, are you coming or what?” A female voice asked.

 

Simon looked up from his phone and saw Rosh and Ayub standing in front of him. Rosh threw her hands in the air looking inpatient.

 

“Yes, yes. Relax would you!” Simon shot back while sending a smile her way. This was Rosh. Always in a hurry to get out of school and chill, play games or actual real football. Fondly Simon threw his arms around her shoulders and together all three of them ventured out of the school ready for a weekend that would be spend gaming and going to one of Rosh’s football matches.

 

Later that day Simon found himself sitting in his room gaming with Ayub and Rosh when his phone vibrated. Quickly he shot a glance towards the phone lying beside him on the bed. The text was from an unknown number. The unknown number.

 

Simon let the text be and continued with the game for a while until the phone vibrated and another text lit up the screen. With a sigh Simon excused himself and paused his game.

 

Unknown number

Hey, sorry this is so out of the ordinary and I don’t even know why I’m texting you. Is it okay?

 

Unknown number

I just thought that maybe you know how I feel. Like you are trapped in a life that you don’t want. Not because you are ungrateful for your life or the people around you, but because you think you would be better off somewhere else.

Argghh. This was also so weird and random of me to say. Sorry

 

 

Simon looked at the texts. This person was really something else. Who in their right mind trusted a complete stranger with this information? Still, Simon felt drawn to the texts and the person behind them so without much hesitation he started typing.

 

Simon

Hey!

Sorry, I was gaming with some friends. Are you ok? It sounds like you need somebody to talk to. Do you have anybody to talk to?

 

Unknown number

Don’t be sorry! Go have fun with your friends. It was stupid anyways.

 

Simon

Paused the game. And it’s not stupid.

If you want to you can talk to me. But I really think the best thing you can do is talking to someone irl...

 

Unknown number

I’ve told my parents all about this but there is little they can do to make it better for me.

I’m not completely alone in the world although I haven’t got that many friends tbh.

My family kind of makes it hard for me to get real friends.

 

Simon

Bad reputation? Jk

 

Unknown number

Something like that. Not joking.

 

Simon

Ohh shit. Sorry. I’m so sorry.

It’s just. I really don’t know that much about you. Other than you are 16 years and want to be somewhere or someone else.

 

 

Unknown number

Haha. Do you need to know more? Haven’t I already woowed you?

 

Simon

Uhmmmm.... not yet?

 

Unknown number

Okay. So what do you want to know? You get 3 questions.

 

Simon

3 question each day!

 

Unknown number

Sure. But I can make a hard pass if I want to.

Let’s do this.

 

Simon

Okay. What’s your pronouns?

 

Unknown number

Uhm. Nobody has ever asked me that before. I go by he/him.

What about you?

Simon

Same. He/him

What do you want to be when you grow up?

 

Unknown number

When I “grow up”? Hahaha.... I need to take over some of the work in the family business.

I’m not comfortable with elaborating right now. Sorry.

 

Simon

Okay? Sorry if I overstep, but it doesn’t sound like you like the idea of taking over the family business.....

I want to be a musician. An artist you know. That’s why I need to get out of this town and move to Stockholm. To get things moving and meeting the right people and stuff.

 

 

Unknown number

Stockholm is a beautiful city, but that doesn’t mean that it will get you where you want to be. Just look at me! Don’t put all your expectations on one thing.

 

Simon

OMG!!! You live there, right? You totally do!

 

Unknown number

Is that your third question for today or?

 

Simon

Uhmmm..... yeah. Let’s say that it is.

 

Unknown number

My family live there, I’m away on a boarding School atm. I’m frequently home to visit and take care of business though.

 

Simon

Sounds kind of serious when you have to take care of business when you are only 16. Is your family a part of some kind of mafia? Hehehe.

 

Unknown number

God no!

Sometimes I wish it was something like that though. I must go back to do public appearances. Mainly together with my brother or my parents. Nothing to serious. It’s okay though. Been like that for as long as I can remember.

 

Simon

So, your family is well known? And you are not in a mafia. What are you then? The King of Sweden? Haha

 

Unknown number

...

 

 

Simon could see the three dots appearing and disappearing multiple times. Shit. What if he had gone too far. After all. They didn’t really know each other, did they? not really and not yet. Lying on his bed he threw his hands over his head taking a deep breath. He really wanted to know this person. Somehow, he intrigued Simon and he foundation himself really drawn to him.

Quickly - as if he was afraid too much time between their texts would course them to disappear - he changed the name on the unknown number from “unknown number” to “sweet 16”.

 

Simon

I changed your name to “sweet 16” hahaha

 

Sweet 16

Sweet 16? Why?

 

Simon

It felt wrong to let your name be “unknown number” and I get the feeling that you’re not comfortable telling me your name so....., sweet 16 it is. You’re sweet and you’re 16. Perfect!

 

Sweet 16

You Think I am sweet?

And thanks. For the whole not asking about my name thing...

 

Simon

No worries. Yes, I know it sounds strange and all but I find you quite nice to talk to.

Or text with. Whatever.

 

Sweet 16

Tack. That’s.... sweet of you to say. I find you quite nice too!

What should I call you? You can’t keep being an unknown number in my phone now.

 

Simon

What would you like to call me?

 

Sweet 16

I don’t know....

Maybe... no it’s stupid.

 

Simon

Now you Got me all curious. Tell me!!!

TELL MEEEEEEEEEEE

 

Sweet 16

Hahahah. Okay. But don’t laugh at me.

My angle

Shit it’s so stupid. Sorry!

 

 

Simon almost dropped his phone down on his head when he read that. My angle. His stomach made loops and all of a sudden, he felt all giggly and happy. What was happening to him. Normally he would be disgusted be stupid nicknames but this one. This was the sweetest thing ever.

 

Simon

OMG! I dropped my phone on my face! That is so sweet! Like. I can’t even!

 

Sweet 16

Really. Not too much? Sometimes I get carried away by my emotions. My mother always scolds me for that. It is not a good thing in my family. To let your emotions, show that easily I mean.

 

My Angle

That sounds so unhealthy. My mama always wants us to be real you know. It’s cool and all but sometimes it’s just so.... arg.

 

Sweet 16

?? I don’t follow you here.

 

My Angle

It’s just. When you are 16 you don’t want to share too much of yourself with your mother. I love her and I know she means well but between her and my sister always wanting to know how I feel about every single little thing it gets kind of tiring. Like I’ve got no privacy at all.

 

Sweet 16

I know all about no privacy. Nothing about nosy parents.

 

Sweet 16

Shit. Wasn’t supposed to write that.

 

 

My Angle

Write what? I didn’t get a text haha

 

Sweet 16

You are just so.....

 

 

My Angle

So what?

 

Sweet 16

Just so. Sweet, fun. Different from what I’m use to people acting around me.

It is so nice for a change.

 

My Angle

I’m glad that you think that. I really like talking with you, you know. There’s just something different about you....

 

Sweet 16

Yeah. I get what you mean. It’s like. So, so easy to keep a conversation going. Normally I’m shit at that but with you. It just comes naturally. Maybe it’s because we are texting, but I really like to think that it’s because we get each other you know.

 

My Angle

Totally get you haha. It’s getting kind of late. I Got to see my friend play a football match tomorrow so...

 

Sweet 16

Yeah. I got an early rowing practice tomorrow so.

Should we....

 

My Angle

Yeah. We should. Goodnight Sweet 16. Text me tomorrow when you have time okay.

 

 

  Sweet 16

Okay. Sleep tight My Angle.

OMG. That sounds so cringe hahaha

 

Simon put his phone down thinking. Could you really be attracted to someone you only been texting for a day? That sounds extreme, jet so fitting for his state of mind in that very moment. Simon decided that he wouldn’t think any more about that particular subject, and quickly texts Rosh and Ayub an apology. After all. He was the friend who had ghosted his best friends the entire evening in order to text a stranger.

Chapter 2: Chapter two

Summary:

They text, they have deep talks, they talk about broes and hoes...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter two

Saturday

Simon woke up to the sound of his alarm going of for the third time. The two first times he had happily snoozed the alarm, but this time he had to get up if he wanted to get ready for Rosh’s football match later that day. He quickly took a shower willing his body and mind to wake up and by the sip of his first cup of coffee he fully awoke feeling excited for the day.

 

On the way out of the door his phone vibrated in his pocket. Although he wanted to check if it was Sweet 16 who already texted him, he was running late and if he wanted to catch the bus, he needed to hurry up. Running down the streets toward the bus stop he became aware of how much he arched to check his phone. Mentally he scolded himself for being so attached to a stranger he only just met yesterday. What was wrong with him. He didn’t understand the way his brain was working right now, but deep down he really didn’t care. Sweet 16 made him feel heard and safe.

 

Safe and sound in the bus Simon yanked his phone up from the pocket in his trousers. There was not only one text, but three. Quickly Simon unlocked the phone and ran through his texts.

 

Ayub

Dude, are you on your way! Please Tell me that you’re not running late again. Rosh is going to kill you if you are late again. FR!!!!!

                                                                                                                                Simon

Hey you. On my way like right now. No need to worry about being late today hahah

 

Sweet 16

Morning. How are you? Did you sleep well? I’m on my way to the business thing and just wanted to check in on you.

 

Sweet 16

Sorry! I’m just so nervous and need a distraction from the pressure. Normally my brother would do, but he seems kind of off today if you know what I mean.                                                                                                                             

My Angel

Hey! Good morning Sweet 16. I had a good night sleep thank you. You? Don’t worry about the business stuff. I’m sure you will do just fine. Sounds like you’ve done it many times before. Now tell me about your brother what’s the matter with him?

 

Sweet 16

So, like, normally he tends to calm me down when a panic attack is creeping up on me, but not today. He keeps looking at his phone and have this dopey smile on his stupid face. Like WTAF?

 

My Angel

Does he have like…. A girlfriend or something? Or a boyfriend. I don’t discriminate.

And what are you talking about. Are you having a panic attack right now? Tell someone! NOW.

 

Sweet 16

I don’t know if he has a girlfriend now. We don’t tend to date people in my family. Like. Our parents are somewhat strict in that matter. I’m not having a full-blown panic attack right now.

 

Sweet 16

Texting you helps with that.

 

My Angel

Really? I help with calming you down. How so?

 

Sweet 16

Is that the first question of the day?

My Angel

NO! wait. I want to change it to a better question. If it’s not to personal, can you please tell me how long have you had anxiety?

 

Sweet 16

Uhmm, guess it’s okay. The anxiety has always been there. At least it feels like that. It’s always lurking in the background. It’s like this monster just waiting to attack when I’m my weakest self. As I grew older and had to do more business stuff it grew stronger. Sometimes I’m just waiting for the moment it will consume me entirely.

 

My Angel

Hey now. Don’t say that. There are so many ways to get help with anxiety nowadays. It’s not a tabu or anything like that. At least know that you can always reach out to me. I got you <3

Need to get off the bus now. Will be back in some time. Good luck with your family thing!

 

Simon was shocked that he didn’t feel bad for sending a heart to Sweet 16. He honestly felt quite well doing that. That boy needed to know that somebody cared for him and his wellbeing.

As Simon hopped of the bus, he immediately saw Ayub waiting for him with a big grin on his face.

“Hey look who’s on time today” Simon’s friend exclaimed loudly. “OMG! Would you shut up already. I’m not always late” Simon answered a bit offended.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s see what Rosh says about that.” Ayub shot back and then continued. “Hey man. Where did you go last night? You totally missed a wicked game.”

Simon scratched the back of his neck while they slowly walked towards the football field. It was beginning to rain slightly and the air was so humid that it made his curls stand out in all directions. He debated whether he should tell Ayub the truth or find some lame excuse as to why he ditched his friends in the middle of a game. Finally, he concluded, that it would be a good thing to let somebody know that he was texting a technically stranger. “So uhmm.” Simon begun and continued. “Yesterday an unknown number texted me while we were at school and uhmm, we kind of joked around and hit it off and now we are texting.”

Ayub stopped mid track and looked bemused at Simon. “You say what? What if it’s some kind of old creep who gets off by texting teenagers?” Simon rolled his eyes at Ayub. “Don’t you think that I have thought about that? Don’t you think that I find it really strange that I keep texting to him, and he keeps texting me back? He is 16 by the way. Or at least that’s what he is telling me.”

Ayub started walking again and Simon followed him in silence. “So, what else do you know about this guy?” Ayub quietly asked. Simon sighed. This friend of his needed some convincing if he wanted him to believe that his Sweet 16 was in fact a sweet 16-year-old boy. “He is from Stockholm but goes to a boarding school. I don’t know his name and he doesn’t know mine. He has a brother, and he is expected to step into their family business. He’s, more or less, already in the business but just as much as school allows him, I guess. He’s fun. And great at listening to me.” Simon took a deep breath. He was not going to talk about the anxiety issue that his sweet 16-year-old friend was having trouble with. That was too private a thing.

Ayub just nodded at all this, and they continued toward the football field in silence. Simon could feel his phone vibrate signaling incoming texts one, two, three, four times before it went still again. Shit, he really should look at it just to check if it was Sweet 16 having more anxiety issues. What if he needed Simon there. What if his brother didn’t care any longer, what if…

Almost franticly he pulled his phone out from his pocket to check the texts. They were all three from him. Ayub shot Simon a judging look situating himself at the tribune right next to the football field. They sat in silence in the rain. Ayub looking at Simon. Simon looking at his phone. They sat like this for a while until Ayub with a laugh said: “Just look at that stupid phone already, will you? The match starts in 5 minutes or so and Rosh will go mental if we don’t cheer!”

Simon grinned at his friend and then preceded to unluck his phone and read the texts.

 

Sweet 16

Thank you! You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that!  You know, sometimes it feels like nobody gets me. But I start to get the feeling that you might do?

 

Sweet 16

Okay, I’m about to leave the car and enter the media hustle. Whish me good luck and pray to God that I doesn’t say or do something stupid!

 

Sweet 16

<3

 

My Angel

The media hustle. WTF. Who are you. What does your family do? Do I know you?

Wait no! Don’t answer that. It doesn’t matter. I want to know the real you, you know? I’m sure you will do just fine. And after that whole business thing is over, I will be right here to listen to you. And chat or whatever.

 

The football match went as expected. Rosh’s team won meaning they were going to the next step of the tournament which was playing against a club from Stockholm. In Stockholm. What Simon would give to go with Rosh to that game, but unfortunately for him his mother wouldn’t allow such thing. And when Linda had said no, it was final. Simon knew not to argue with her about that. You must pick your battles and all that.

After the match Rosh meet up with the boys and they all 3 headed to the local pizzeria to eat and chill. The two boys filled Rosh in on Simon’s text adventure, as Ayub called it much to Simons despise, and after a being up to date with it all Rosh said with a raised eyebrow.” What if he goes to Hillerska?”

Simon gulped “No way! I mean, he would have said that!”

“But like. Does he know where you live Simon?” Rosh pushed on.

Sheepishly Simon shook his head as a no. Ayub then interrupted. “It would make sense you know. With him already being a part of a family business at the age of 16. All the rich kids go to that school.”

Simon then nodded. He knew it would make sense. In fact, the more he thought about it. The more he was convinced that his Sweet 16 was attending Hillerska. The boarding school that was just 15 minutes outside of town. The boarding school that his own sister had a scholarship to. With his mouth full of pizza Simon blurred out. “But what are the odds of him attending Hillerska and accidently texting me?” His two friends looked at each other for a bit. Both could see that it was too insane to be real. Just the changes of that theory actually being true were bare to minimum but still no one of the three friends could leave the idea.

“Anyway!” Rosh interrupted the silence. “I better get going because I have a date tonight! See you guys!” And with that she almost run out of the pizzeria grinning at the boys over her shoulder.

Simon jumped off his seat, but he was to slow. Rosh was already out of the pizzeria and on her way down the street. “WTF. Ayub, did you know anything about a date?” Simon exclaimed.

“Ahh, yeah. She told me yesterday while we were gaming. While you were ghosting us over an unknown number!” Ayub laughed at Simon who in return showed him his middle finger.

The boys soon too decided that they better get going and said their goodbyes. In the bus on his way home Simon debated with himself whether he should ask if Sweet 16 was attending Hillerska. In the end he let his curiosity get the best of him and somewhat clumsily texted his question.

 

My Angel

Okay. Second question of the day. You can do a hard pass on this one of you want to. Not that you need my permission to do that. You can do that every time. But I was just thinking about you and what you’ve told me about yourself and uhmm… Do you attend Hillerska?

 

There. He had sent the text. There was no going back now. All he needed to do was wait and se what the other boy would reply. He was sure that Sweet 16 wouldn’t lie. At most he would do a pass on the question, and they would continue chatting about other stuff but what if he confirmed that he indeed went to Hillerska. Were they going to meet up? Simon knew that they had this Lucia thing where family of the students were invited. Sara had invited himself and their mother. Was Sweet 16 also going to attend? It he went to Hillerska it would be mandatory to attend the event.

Simon looked at his phone the entire bus ride home, but no answer. When he came home, he opted to play some music to distract his mind from the lingering question he had asked. It somehow worked and before he knew it was dark outside, and he could hear his mother starting on supper out in the kitchen. And then it came. The now unmistakably vibration from his phone signaling an incoming text.

With his heart running a million miles an hour, he looked at the text he had received.

Sweet 16

I uhm, I do attend Hillerska. I’m going back tomorrow afternoon. My mother want’s me home in Stockholm for the whole weekend. Did you really think about me today?

My Angel

HEY! OMG I was so scared that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me after that question it just…I thought about you yes, and it all just made sense. You, being 16 and already involved in family business, you having to face a media hustle today, you are attending a boarding school and have rowing practice. The more I thought about it, about you, it could only be Hillerska.

 

Sweet 16

Does that change the way you think of me?

 

My Angel

To be honest. If you had told me right away that you went to that school, I would probably have blocked your number or something. But not now…

Sweet 16

But why? What’s wrong with Hillerska? And why not now?

 

 

My Angel

There is nothing wrong with Hillerska per say. My sister is a student at that school, and it is really good for her to be there and not at my school. But. Don’t get me wrong. This is not about you. You are different. But from what I know and can see, most of the students at that school are spoiled brats that doesn’t know a thing or two about the real everyday life for the normal Swede. They are stuck up teenagers who rely on Mommy and Daddy’s money to get by!

 

Sweet 16

And how do you know I’m not like that?

 

My Angel

Because you’re different. You got some depth to you and you’re nice and caring and really, really nice….

 

Sweet 16

You called me nice twice in that text. Maybe you should attend Hillerska too and learn about gramma and how to write probably

 

Sweet 16

<3

My Angel

OMG! I almost thought you meant that! Don’t you dare give me such a scare! <3

 

Sweet 16

Hahaha. That’s what you get from calling me a spoiled brat.

 

 

My Angel

No, I didn’t mean you. Just like. Everybody else on that school. I swear to God that place does something to people. My sister has changed so much since starting there. And I don’t know if it’s good or bad.

 

Sweet 16

If it makes you feel any better, I really don’t like anybody at that school. Except Felice. Felice is a friend.

 

My Angel

Third question of the day…. Do you like Hillerska?

 

Sweet 16

No…..

 

Sweet 16

But I have no say in where my education takes place. At least I’m still in Sweden and not shipped off to Switzerland or England or something fancy like that.

 

My Angel

Would your family not take in regards what you wishes may be regarding school?

 

Sweet 16

I’m so embarrassed to say no. But that’s the truth. I have no say in that.

My Angel

I’m so sorry to hear that my sweet 16! When Mama wanted to move Sara from our old school, she asked me if I wanted to move too. We’ve always been at the same school, but Sara was bullied so much at my school that she had to redo a year and that’s when she started at Hillerska. I haven’t got that kind of problems in school. All my friends are in my class, and I generally like my school, so I kept asking Mama not to move me and in the end she didn’t.

 

Sweet 16

You sister is Sara?!

 

My Angel

Shit, shit, shit, shit…..

 

Sweet 16

Sara helps Felice in the stables. She’s nice. Felice really likes her. Says she is the only real person at this school!

 

My Angel

I was not supposed to say who my sister is. OMG, OMG, OMG… I’m panicking here.

 

Sweet 16

Don’t do that My Angel. Please. Just don’t. It doesn’t matter. I don’t talk to Sara. Not because I don’t like her or anything. I just don’t talk to people. Besides Felice….. And you.

 

My Angel

Really? That’s kind of sad bro.


Sweet 16

Don’t call me bro! Just DON’T!

 

My Angel

What’s the matter? Don’t like bro time? I can make it hoe time instead. I swing that way for real.

 

Sweet 16

Hahaha. What are you talking about? Is it the panic talking right now? I feel like you’re not you.

 

My Angel

I’m just making a complete fool of myself right now. I’m so sorry. I just really am panicking right now, and I don’t know what to say or do or. Shit. Do you know who I am?

Sweet 16

As I said, I barely know Sara. Let alone that she has a brother so how would I know who you are?

 

My Angel

I DON’T KNOW. I just… need to breath.

 

Sweet 16

Sorry, but talking about bros and hoes does not normally help when I’m having a panic attack. Neither does talking about my sexuality to be honest. It rather scares me talking about that. But just know that it’s okay with me.

 

My Angel

What’s okay with you?

 

Sweet 16

You are gay. Doesn’t bother me at all.

 

My Angel

I really hope it doesn’t. If it did, I would have to cut all contact with you to be honest.

 

Sweet 16

Please don’t! I feel like. This sound so stupid but here it goes. I feel like you are the only one I can talk with. Like genuinely talk with. The people here in Stockholm and at Hillerska are all so fake. They don’t see me. You do!

My Angel

How are you even real! That is so sweet of you to say and at the same time so sad to hear. <3

 

Sweet 16

Well, my life is fairly lonely so. Yeah… And uhm. I’m queer. Just so you know.

 

My Angel

Really?

 

Sweet 16

Yes. You are the only one who I’ve told. I truly don’t think it concerns other people than myself and perhaps the person I’m dating. But uhmm, thought you needed to hear that. So, we are more on equal footing again. <3

 

My Angel

Thank you for trusting me with that <3

 

Sweet 16

It was nice to tell someone. Not even Felice knows it. I didn’t think it would be adequate to tell someone. Never had the need or urge to do so.

 

My Angel

I’m glad you feel good about telling. So, uhmm. I know my 3 questions are up but. Can I ask another one?

 

Sweet 16

No. You must wait until tomorrow 😊

 

My Angel

Seriously!

Sweet 16

That’s the rules! And that way I’m sure you will text me tomorrow, My Angel. Got to go now. Family and stuff.

 

Simon stared dumbfounded at his phone. What had just happened? Were they flirting? No way! For all Simon knew his Sweet 16 could have a partner. It sounded like that. Well, almost. Or did it?

While texting his sweet 16 his mother had finished supper and were now scolding Simon for spending way too much time on his phone and not setting up the table for the two of them as the sensible boy he used to be. Simon laughed heartwarmingly at her and hurried out in the combined kitchen and dining room to set the table. Sara wasn’t home this weekend. She was invited to a sleepover at Hillerska with Felice of all people. How small the world seemed to be.

 

Sunday

The moment Simon opened his eyes Sunday morning he grabbed his phone from his nightstand and shot a quick text to his Sweet 16.

 

My Angel

Are you not out to your family yet? Are you dating someone? Will you attend the Lucia event at Hillerska in next week?

He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about these questions and he found that he really needed to know the answers to them. Each one seemed too important to ignore. If the boy wasn’t out to his family yet, Simon wanted to know why he wasn’t when he just came out to him after merely two days of texting. Secondly, he was terribly curious about the other boys dating life. He had said that his parents were somewhat strict when it came to dating, but the boy had also commented on the fact that his partner ought to know his sexuality. So, maybe he had a partner right now? Oh God, Simon really hoped that it wasn’t the case. He felt so drawn to this guy. Wanted to know everything about him and in the aftermath of that longing came the idea of meeting up at the Lucia event at Hillerska in the following week. If the sweet 16-year-old boy was attending the event, and Simon came to watch Sara sing the Lucia song maybe… Maybe they could meet each other. He really hoped they could.

This person that he had only known for the weekend had quickly taken a place in his heart and mind and he couldn’t think of any other person that he so desperately wanted to know. He was like obsessed. So, to get time going fast while waiting for a reply, he turned to gaming.

A couple hours later his phone vibrated and Simon all but jumped towards it forgetting all about his game.

 

Sweet 16

Hello to you too!

Getting straight to it I see hahah.

Sweet 16

No, I’m not out to my parents or my brother for that matter. Only to you. Maybe I can come out to my brother one day and then my mother and father, but as I said yesterday. It really only is my business who I choose to love. (Or that I keep telling myself. I know my mother and father would say something else)

Sweet 16

I haven’t got a partner. Makes me sad to admit, that I never have had one.

 

Sweet 16

And yes. I will attend the Lucia event. It’s mandatory, but I guess you already know that.

Now you. Same questions!

 

My Angel

Hi uhm. Okay nice to hear from you. A little late though. It’s almost 3 pm…

 

Sweet 16

Sorry for the wait. Had things to do today. On my way back to Hillerska right now. Now come on. Answer the three questions pretty please.

 

My Angel

How do you know I’m pretty haha

 

Sweet 16

Just answer the damn questions.

 

My Angel

Okay, easy there. I came out to my parents when I was 12, so yeah. There is that. It was nothing dramatic or anything. I guess it was never a surprise since I’m the biggest drama queen out of Sara and me haha. So, it went without any fuss, but for me it was important to underline that I could never get together with a girl. That is NOT an option for me! Therefore, I needed to tell them that I’m most definitely gay.

My Angel

I’m not dating anyone now, but like, maybe two years ago I went out with this boy from school. We were never really a thing, but he was nice, and I wanted to see where it was going. And it wasn’t going anywhere so I called it quit.

 

My Angel

Yes. Both mama and I will attend the Lucia event. Sara would kill both of us if we missed it.

 

Sweet 16

Ohh, cool. So, we are both going to be at the school at the same time then.

 

My Angel

Yes. Uhmm. I was thinking.

 

Sweet 16

Yes!

 

My Angel

What? Haha

 

Sweet 16

Sorry, continue please. You were thinking? Is that dangerous?

 

My Angel

OH ffs. You are so funny today huh?! I was thinking if you would like to meet up at the event. Like get to know each other in real life. If you don’t want to it is totally fine. Your call.

 

 

Sweet 16

I would love to but…

 

My Angel

But what… Just say it so I won’t get too disappointed. Please.

 

Sweet 16

What if you don’t like me. I mean. I’m pretty sure you know me when you first see me, and people tend to assume so many things when they see me or someone from my family.

My Angel

… and they don’t take the time to get to know the real you? <3

Sweet 16

Yes….

 

My Angel

I guess I will have until Thursday to get to know the real you then! Anything you want me to know right at this moment?

 

Sweet 16

Uhm I don’t know. This is dumb but I really like gardening. Back home in Stockholm I have my own little garden with veggies and herbs. I really like taking care of it. Of plants in general. It grounds me. No pun attended.

 

My Angel

That sound lovely. Guess you can’t do that much gardening at Hillerska or do they have this super-secret society for rich people who likes to grow tomatoes?

 

 

Sweet 16

WHAT. How did you know. It’s like the most secret society at the school! WHO TOLD YOU!

 

My Angel

You are so funny. Hahaha

 

Sweet 16

I hope you are telling the truth right now haha.

 

My Angel

Of course, I do <3

 

Sweet 16

Thanks <3

Something I should know about you?

 

My Angel

I like to sing. I really like to sing. Want to pursue it as a carrier but Mama is kind of freaked out by it so she’s forcing me go to university. I will study music of course. No discussion there.

 

Sweet 16

Ahh, the university in Stockholm you told me about this Friday, right? I whish I could hear you sing one day! I’m sure you’re amazin

 

My Angel

How would you know. You don’t even know how my voice sounds like. And yes. The university of Stockholm is where I’m headed!

 

Sweet 16

You’re my angel, right? You must sound like one too! I’m sure of that!

 

Simon smiled at his phone. Was the other boy in fact flirting with him. He could barely contain his excitement. This was so surreal, but so, so nice. The other boy made him feel all warm and giggly inside. Like he could walk on air. Simon knew he was supposed to do some schoolwork before Monday, but he couldn’t keep smiling and texting this boy. His wonderful, sweet 16-year-old boy.

 

My Angel

You are too sweet. Seriously how can you even be that way? Maybe I can sing for you one day.

 

Sweet 16

I would love that! It goes on the bucket list.

 

My Angel

What bucket list?

 

Sweet 16

Okay, so this is so embarrassing, but I kind of made a bucket list of things I would like to do together with you after we meet each other. If you still want to be associated with me that is.

 

My Angel

Okay, that was quick. We only agreed to meet up like… 5 minutes ago!

 

Sweet 16

To be honest. The list only has 1 thing on it right now but hey. It needs to start somehow.

 

My Angel

You’re just so… argh.

 

Sweet 16

Is that a good thing?  Please let it be a good thing!

 

My Angel

Of course, it is! <3

 

Sweet 16

Thanks <3 Now look who is the sweet one. Listen, I’m back at Hillerska now, and I really need to get some schoolwork done. But uhmm, we will talk tomorrow, right? Three new questions!

 

My Angel

Ohh okay. I should probably do the same. Been gaming all weekend. Talk to you tomorrow <3

 

Sweet 16

<3

 

Monday

 

When his alarm went off Simon groaned and did a lazy stretch in his bed. He really hated Mondays! Worst day of the week if you asked him. By the third time the alarm went off he went out off bed and got ready for the day. Their mom had left for work early, so it was only him and Sara who was home. They ate in silence not feeling the need to small talk. Both loathed mornings. By the time it was time to catch the bus both felt somewhat more awake than just an hour earlier and after saying a quick hello to Rosh and Ayub, who were already on the bus, Simon found his phone and started texting a certain boy.

 

 

 

My Angel

Good morning my Sweet 16!

Slept well? Not one of the questions by the way!

 

Almost instantly Simon got a reply that made him grin happily. Rosh shoot him a knowing smile across the isle of the bus, but Simon just ignored her in favor of reading his texts.

Sweet 16

Good morning to you too!

I had a good night of sleep thanks. And you? Are you on your way to school now or? I am just done eating breakfast right now. Heading to the school building in a second. Once the teachers arrive in class, I have to put away my phone.

 

My Angel

Okay?

 

Sweet 16

OMG, what I’m trying to say, but clearly failing at is, that if you have a question for me that can’t wait until lunch, you better ask it now. <3

 

My Angel

Okay haha.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

 

Sweet 16

What kind of question is that! I don’t know. Let me think about it for a while and I will get back to you on that one. What is yours?

My Angel

Okay, so. It’s kind of embarrassing, but I guess that’s why it’s a guilty pleasure.

Sweet 16

Just tell me. I won’t judge you <3

 

 

My Angel

Okay, okay. Nobody knows this. Not even Ayub and Rosh but I really like reading sappy, romantic stories. Like fanfiction and stuff like that. Stories that are so sweet that your teeth would fall out.

 

Sweet 16

I’m not laughing at you right now. I’m smiling fondly.

 

My Angel

 Ohh, come on bro! You made me a promise.

Sweet 16

DON’T call me bro please.

My Angel

Sorry <3 But you were laughing at me.

Sweet 16

I was not! I was smiling fondly. Already told you that love.

 

Sweet 16

Ups, shit….Sorry.

 

Simon smiled like a lovestruck child. His sweet boy had just called him love. By mistake it seemed but that just mad it that much better. That signified that it was unconscious and therefore much truer. At least in Simon’s opinion.

He almost lost his phone when Ayub smacked a hand to his back, yelling that they were at the school and that he should stop flirting through text. Flabbergasted Simon put his phone away, waved a shy goodbye to Sara, who still had a 10-minute bus ride to Hillerska from the communal school. She only raised her eyebrow in a questioning manner and Simon mined a quick later before exiting the bus.

Simon was not afraid to admit to himself that he strongly liked the idea of flirting with his boy through text and with that in mind he typed a swift reply before entering the school.

 

 

My Angel

Don’t say sorry.<3 I liked it! Feel free to do it again anytime!

 

My Angel

I’m at school now, but I will come back to you with two more questions, and you have to tell me your guilty pleasure. I told you mine!

 

Sweet 16

Ohh, oh that’s good, I think. Have wonderful day, My Angel <3

 

Sweet 16

I think, my guilty pleasure is you….

Notes:

And just like that Simon went from being a problem we all hate in maths (angle) to something we all decorate with at Christmas (angel)

Thank you for your feedback. Much appreciated<3
I wrote the first chapter on my phone the day after Call Me By Your Name was released. I debated a long time whether I should post the story or not. As of right now there are 20.000 + words in my draft for the next two chapters so….
Thank you so much for all the sweet words and yes… I know there is some spelling that is off. Sorry about that.
But who knows. Maybe Simon really is an angle and not an angel? (In my head it would actually be funny, but what do I know about funny stuff. I’m Danish and we have a weird sense of humor.)

And also, just a thought here. What’s up with the English languish and having “gender words” like girlfriend and boyfriend? In Danish we have one word for both… Kæreste.

Chapter 3: Chapter three

Summary:

Simon
Okay… It is kind of sad that you hide in your room during the weekend, Wille. But this weekend I will hide with you

Notes:

Hello, once again thank you so much for all your sweet words. I would really like to reply to each one of your comments, but I’m lazy so I can’t manage. Sorry
I hope you like this chapter. It was surprisingly hard to write but here it goes…

Chapter Text

Monday went by swift. The only thing out of the ordinary was Sweet 16 texting Simon between classes and his rowing practice. Simon learned that Sweet 16 was a history geek. Out of all the subjects in the world history was something his sweet boy was very enthusiastic about. He almost seemed as passionate about history as Simon were for music, and that says a lot! Simon would do anything to have a change to life of his music. To be an artist, but Sweet 16 quickly shoot down any possibility of him going down a carrier track that involved history. Once again, he said that the family business wouldn’t allow such thing for him which Simon had argued was rubbish. Your parents should not dictate what you should work with or how to live your life in adulthood. Linda never did. She voiced her concerns and worries, but never said they couldn’t work with this or that. And to be honest. What was so bad about pursuing a career doing history stuff. Simon didn’t know what you could work as when taking a degree in history but people did that and they got work afterwards so it was not that strange of a career dream.

Sweet 16

It’s just really hard to explain. I could take a degree in history. But it wouldn’t be enough.

My Angel

Why not?

Sweet 16

I would be expected to do European history or something like that and then do some classes with economics and don’t get me started on the military stuff. My family is big on that!

My Angel

They want to send you in war?!

Sweet 16

No. But there’s like a really old tradition of all men in our family earning some important rang within the military.

My Angel

That’s sick! Do they expect to take a double degree and do career in the military? What about just being young, wild and free.

Sweet 16

We’re not young, wild, and free here.

My Angel

God, I hate hearing that. It’s just so wrong!

Sweet 16

Hey, calm down Angle. It’s just how it is. I known it all my life…

My Angel

But are you okay with that? Having your whole life planned for you?

Sweet 16

Please, can we talk about something else?

My Angel

Okay… What are you having for supper at that fine school of yours?

 

 

Tuesday

By Tuesday Simon was frankly quite curious as to what the other boy’s family was involved with. His mind kept circling around the topic of something criminal, but he knew with certainty that there was an extraordinarily minor change of that. He had joked with Sweet 16 about his family being a Swedish mafia, and the other boy had denied that in a heartbeat. But still Simon could not stop thinking about what that family did for a living and if he already knew this mysterious boy?

 

Another thing Simon couldn’t stop thinking about was the text I think, my guilty pleasure is you. It was stuck in his head too and wouldn’t get out. But this thought gave him butterflies in his stomach and made him all giggly and silly. He hadn’t know what to rely to that text so he had just asked Sweet 16 about his day and made small talk all afternoon feeling happy. That was until he remembered that a guilty pleasure not necessarily was a good thing. Out of the two of them, Simon was the only one who was out. What if the other boy didn’t want anything to do with him after they met in just two days. Simon felt his heart drop by that thought. He had grown so fond of his friend throughout the weekend that the thought of loosing him again so fast was hurting him.

My Angel

Are you nervous about Thursday?

 

Sweet 16

No, yes. Depends on what you are asking about. I’m not nervous for the Lucia parade. I can hide between my classmates, but then there is meeting you. That’s a whole other story.

 

My Angel

Yeah. I kind of feel the same. 

 

Sweet 16

Why?

 

My Angel

I’m afraid that you will not have anything to do with me once we’ve met.

 

Sweet 16

I must ask you why again…

 

My Angel

OMG. It’s just.

You are like this person that I really like but haven’t met yet. And you call me your angel and says all these sweet things to me without really knowing. And I think that, when you meet me, and see me you will realize that I’m just this normal kid from this boring town.

 

Sweet 16

So what? What if I like a normal kid from a boring town?

 

My Angel

See, you did it again. Sweet stuff. Arg.

It’s just… You said that I would probably know who you are once I saw you, with makes me think that you, or at least your family, is a big deal here in Sweden and I’m just….Me.

Sweet 16

My dearest Angel! Listen to me. You don’t have to feel that way okay! I am almost certain that it is you who will have nothing to do with me and my family after we meet. I’m so afraid of being alone again after Thursday that I have to talk myself into not cancelling our date!

 

My Angel

Our date?!

 

Sweet 16

Or our meet up? What do you want to call it? Appointment?

 

My Angel

Haha. I don’t know. But trust me. I’m so scared of loosing you too. It really freaks me out.

Anyway. Can I ask you some questions now or are you busy?

 

Sweet 16

I’m just in my room doing some schoolwork. You already asked me one question today. You’ve got two left.

 

My Angel

TWO! Did you really count my first question as a question! I’m offended now.

 

Sweet 16

Just get on with it will you… Drama queen.

 

My Angel

Ohh I see how it is!

Well, maybe I should stop texting you after all. You know stranger danger and all that.

 

Sweet 16

Please don’t

My Angle

I won’t <3

 

Sweet 16

<3

 

My Angle

What I you best vacation memory?

 

Sweet 16

My family and I always travel to Öland in the summer. We are always gathered there for some days, and I guess that’s the best time of the year for me. I can mostly just be myself and enjoy the break from Stockholm and the media. It’s kind of hard to explain because there’s press at Öland too every year, but our estate just holds so many fond memories for me that it has sort of become my sanctuary.

What about you?

My Angel

That sounds really nice. I’m glad that you have a place you can look forward to visiting every summer and just be yourself. I get the feeling that you struggle being your true self on an everyday basis... Sorry if I overstep here.

 

My Angel

Anyway. My favorite place to travel is Venezuela. My mama is from Venezuela but married a Swede and moved here. We visit our family back I Venezuela when we have the money for the journey and the time. It’s been two years since we were their last time which is a long time without seeing your family. Especially for my Mama. But we have some family in Spain too and we see them more often so that’s something.

 

Sweet 16

That sounds so cool! I’ve never been in Venezuela. I’ve been in Argentina though, but I guess it’s not the same haha.

 

My Angel

Not the same but still Latin America, so I’ll give you that. At least you can have an idea of what a loud Latin American family is like when they’re together.

 

Sweet 16

You are very fond of your family, aren’t you?

 

My Angel

Very!

 

Sweet 16

You’re lucky. My family says they are all about family and protecting it and keeping our legacy alive, but it only matters that we have this perfect image. We are not allowed to show who we are or what we feel or think. It’s not seen well upon. I often whish I was just born into a normal, loving family like yours.

 

My Angel

It’s not all glitter and roses. I’ll tell you that.

 

Sweet 16

Something which you would elaborate on?

 

My Angel

I don’t know. At some point maybe. Not right now.

 

Sweet 16

That’s fine. So uhmm, I’m stuck with this math problem that I can’t seem to get right. Urg. Hate math.

 

My Angel

Talk me through it. Maybe I can help with it. I’m decent at math.

 

Once the other boy had sent the problem to Simon, he quickly spotted what was wrong in the equation that were used and explained all the necessary steps to get the right answer.

Sweet 16

I’s a shame you don’t go to school here at Hillerska. You would excel in every subject here!

 

My Angel

I know I would. I’m smart!

 

Sweet 16

Feeling overconfident there are we?

 

My Angel

Can’t help it. You got that effect on me.

Sweet 16

I make you feel confident? By asking math questions? Well in that case I should bring some of my homework for you to look over this Thursday.

 

My Angel

Please don’t! It will ruin our date.

 

Sweet 16

So, it is a date?

 

My Angel

I uhmm… Do you want it to be a date?

 

Sweet 16

Do you? And was that your last question of the day or?

Simon bit his lip. Would he really go on a date with someone he had only texted? He really liked him. He did, but was that reason enough to go on a blind date? Again. He felt pretty sure that if they didn’t agree on their meeting being a date, they would friend zone each other right there on the spot. And he didn’t want that! Simon took a deep breath and then typed his last question of the day.

 

My Angel

Yes. My last question today is: Do you want it to be a date this Thursday?

 

Sweet 16

Yes……

 

My Angel

Me too

 

Sweet 16

Cool. That’s fine. That’s actually more than fine!

 

My Angel

I hope so. You don’t have to say yes to a date just because I want a date with you, you know.

 

Sweet 16

I’m Not! I really want it to be a date too! So much!

How will I know who you are?

 

My Angel

I’m the Latin American boy standing with his Latin American Mama talking with Sara – who is your classmate. How can I recognize you?

 

Sweet 16

Oh, well. I make sure Felice will introduce me to Sara’s mom and brother. After all Sara is a friend of a friend so it’s only becoming to do introductions.

 

My Angel

OMG! Who in this would uses words as becoming any longer?

 

Sweet 16

My mother

 

My Angel

Oh, sorry.

 

Sweet 16

Haha. It’s okay My Angel. She is kind of old fashioned.

 

My Angel

Will she be there?

 

Sweet 16

On Thursday? No, they got family stuff to attend outside Sweden so it’d just me. That’s why I can go around with Felice greeting people.

 

 

My Angel

That does not sound strange at all. Why do you have to greet people. Can’t you just say hello to the families that you know?

 

Sweet 16

Ohh I wish but. It’s so hard to explain and I want to be just you and me for as long as possible so I’m not going to elaborate on that question. Which is your fifth question of the day young man!

 

My Angel

Ohh shit. You noticed. Does that mean I’ll only have one question tomorrow?

 

Sweet 16

No silly. You’ll have your three questions <3

 

My Angel

YAY <3

 

Wednesday

Sweet 16

Good morning My Angel. Just wanted you to know that I will be pretty busy all day with rehearsing the Lucia parade today and I’ve got rowing practice too which is always pretty intense. The captain of the rowing team is my cousin, so I must show up and do my best. It’s expected of me.

 

My Angel

Good morning <3

My Angel

It’s way to early for that much information. I’m honestly not a morning person.

 

Sweet 16

Sorry love, but I just though it would be a clever idea to text you this before I head to breakfast. I’m not sure how much I can text you throughout the day <3

 

My Angel

I like when you call me love. It makes me smile. Even when it’s too early for texting.

 

Sweet 16

It’s almost 7 am. Don’t you have school silly?

 

My Angel

I do have school. I don’t need much more than 30 minutes to get ready. And the bus leaves in 40 minutes so I could’ve slept for 10 long lovely minutes more!

 

Sweet 16

Ohh you make me so remorseful now. Poor you. Loosing 10 minutes of sleep.

Do you have any questions today or?

 

My Angel

Too early!

What kind of music do you like?

 

Sweet 16

I like a little of everything. I really like Billie Eilish and Taylor Swift, but also old classics like Queen and ABBA. It all depends on my mood. You?

 

My Angel

Wow, that’s such a mix of artists and genres. So uhm, I really gravitate towards Reggatation because my Mama always listened to music from Latin America when I grew up, but I also like artists like Rihanna, Beyonce, 1 Direction and such. Guess I just listen to a little of everything too.

 

Sweet 16

And what if you must sing it yourself? What would you prefer there?

 

My Angel

I love singing ballads, but also just music that makes you happy. I don’t know. Still trying to figure out my own sound.

 

Sweet 16

That’s cool. You know. You are only 16. You haven’t got to have all your life set already.

 

My Angel

I know. Somehow, I get the that your life has been planned for you even though you’re only 16 as well, but thanks for the encouragement.

 

Sweet 16

Can we please talk about something else? I’m headed out for breakfast by the way.

 

My Angel

Sure. Favorite movie? I really like old classics and cult films like Pulp Fiction and the Notebook.

 

Sweet 16

WTF. That’s so strange. Those two movies are as far from each other as they can possible be. You are so eccentric and weird, you know.

 

My Angel

I know, but they can still both be classics and awesome. And what do you mean by eccentric?

 

Sweet 16

Quite right there. Don’t laugh at me but uhmm. I am huge Harry Potter fan so. I like that franchise so much you would think I’m horrific.

 

My Angel

Hahaha. So, you are a history geek and really into Harry Potter. You sound like the man of my dreams, or something like that haha.

 

Sweet 16

Please don’t make fun of me. I know that it’s absolutely not attractive but please keep in mind that I was simply lonely growing up and I needed a cool fictive friend. When you are 8 Harry Potter is indeed a good imaginary friend to have!

 

My Angel

I’m genuinely so sorry to hear that <3 Harry Potter is a nerd with very few friends, you know….

No child should be or feel lonely though. Good thing you have me now. Harry Potter just got some competition.

 

Sweet 16

Ohh, you took Harry Potter’s place as best friend a long time ago!

Need to go class. TTYL <3

 

My Angel

WTF. You’ve only known me for 6 days or something. 5? Does today count as a day?

 

Wednesday went by slowly without having a certain boy texting him all the time. To stop that longing for some specific text and a hollow feeling that grew in Simon’s chest he concentrated his energy on his two best friends.  Ayub and Rosh took no mercy on him though. They were throwing all their best jokes at him, saying he was already whipped and what not. Simon, I return lashed out with profanities in both Swedish and Spanish. It all was in good fun of course and deep-down Simon loved his two best friends for taking his addiction with texting this boy in a good way. He knew he had been ghosting his friends quite often ever since he and his Sweet 16 started texting each other, but he was convinced that something good would come out of it all. They just had to meet in real life tomorrow and have their first date.

Even the thought of going on a date made Simon shiver. He was not sure if it was from the anticipation of finally seeing this boy that occupied his thoughts all the time or if it was from the nagging feeling that the boy was important – at least in Stockholm – or if it was because it was somewhat crazy to meet a stranger at a school. Multiple times he had calmed himself by reminding that Sara went to school with this boy and by all means probably already knew him. Or of him. Sara was not the best at getting friends and talking to people. He knew that but she must be aware of who she had class with.

He wondered if he should try talking to her and maybe get an idea of who her classmate that he was texting was, but how should he even start that conversation? In the end he decided against it and just kept imagining one horrific scenario after the other of their first meet.

 

Wednesday afternoon went by hanging out with Ayub and Rosh at the pizzeria, doing homework and then game some before he quickly shoot Sweet 16 a text and going to bed.

 

My Angel

Good night Sweet 16. Hope that you had a wonderful day!

I’m looking forward to tomorrow <3

 

Sweet 16

Good night

Just finished rowing practice. I’m drained now. Absolutely beaten. On my way to bed now as well.

I can’t wait to meet you <3

 

Thursday

Thursday went by far faster that Simon had anticipated. Sara was a nerve wreck from the morning on and she texted Simon all day with one worry after the other. Simon did his best to calm her down, although he was losing his mind as the day went on with worry about meeting a stranger, he only had been texting a week.

 

They did share small text throughout the day, Simon and sweet 16. But between class, Lucia preparations and Simons own homework, there wasn’t that many opportunities to have deep conversations like they use to have, and Simon missed that. He knew he shouldn’t. that it was stupid to be so addicted to deep and meaningful texts when they only had been in contact for such a short time, but Sweet 16 made him feel heard!

By 6 pm his Mama and him made themselves ready to drive to Hillerska so they would be ready to the parade which would start at 7 pm. Simon had used way too much time doing his hair and finding the perfect clothes for the evening and his Mama had made fun of him for caring so much about how he looked.

Simon just rolled his eyes lovingly at her. He could not bring himself to say, that he in fact was going on a date after the Lucia parade with a boy from sara’s school.

At Hillerska everything seemed so posh but at the same time too old fashioned for Simon’s liking. His Mama and him were showed into the main hall where students from 2nd and 3rd year all were waiting in their uniforms to see the Lucia parade together with parents and other relatives. Simon could feel himself sweeting in the dim light room. Too many people and not enough air. He couldn’t wait for this to be over.

At 7 pm exactly the light went of and soon all the students and guest could hear a beautiful choir singing the Lucia hymn. Outside in the distance Simon could see the Lucia bride. He knew from Sara that Felice was this year’s bride, but at the parade got closer to them, he did not recognize the bride as Felice.

His heart was pounding as the parade entered the big hall and then he saw it. His sister, Sara, was the bride and she looked like the sun itself. She was so beautiful and breathtaking, and he could not stop himself from grabbing his Mamas hand and sharing a smile with her, as Sara passed them. He kept looking at the parade. One of these students was his boy. The one he had been texting for almost a week but already shared so many personal and meaningful things with. Who could it be?

The choir soon ended their song, and it was time for mingling. Simon and his Mama, Linda, did not know any of the other parents or students present, so they stood for themselves reminiscing in the afterglow of the happiness and pride they felt for Sara during the parade. When Sara joined them, she was still wearing her white gown and the green crown made up from plants. The lights in the crown had been unlit so she could walk around without lighting the whole school into a fire.

As the three of them were talking they soon heard a voice calling out for Sara.

“Sara! Hey, you were so beautiful!” Felice said in a sing song voice as she approached them. She said some more, but Simon did not register any of them because behind Felis followed a young man with a nervous gleam in his eyes. That had to be him. Simon took in a quick breath of air at the sight of the boy. He was beautiful! He was taller than Simon, had dark blond hair, lovely cheekbones, and deep, deep brown eyes.

“So uhm, I wanted to introduce you to my friend here. Since I’m friends with Sara” Felice interrupted his thoughts and continued. “This is Prince Wilhelm of Sweden” The blond boy shook hands with Linda who did a clumsy courtesy and mumbled something about her being Sara and Simons mom and then the hand was in front of Simon. He froze on the spot but soon willed himself to look into those brown eyes as he, with shaking hands, shook the prince’s hand. “Hello, I’m uhmm… I’m Simon. Sara’s brother.”

The prince smiled a little shy smile, still holding Simon’s hand in his own and spoke. “Hey Simon. Nice to meet you. You can just call me Wille, please.” His eyes were so deep and brown and full of emotions that Simon couldn’t decipher just yet.

“Sure, yeah. Will do that” Simon stuttered. He could hear Linda coughing in the background saying something about bowing and stop shaking the hand of Sweden’s prince, so Simon quickly dropped the royal hand like it suddenly burned him. The small smile on the prince face disappeared and was replaced with a polite mask. Wilhelm took a deep breath before he excused himself saying something about socializing with all the other parents at the event.

Felice stayed with them and soon she, Sara and their Mama was chatting. Simon kept starring after Wilhelm who swiftly maneuvered through the crowd of people who wanted to talk to him and share meaningless pleasantries. If you looked closely, you could see that he was used to mingling around a room, making sure to see and great everybody politely. No doubt thanks to the “family business” that he had referred to so many times. It was clear that the prince was heading for an exit, but you would only notice if you followed his route through the room.

Not two seconds after Wilhelm had left the room Simon received a text. With shaking hands, he found his phone.

Sweet 16

Sorry, I’m so sorry. It was clearly not a good idea to let Felice introduce us. If you are still up for it, we can meet by the palace in like. 15 minutes?

I just… I need to get some air and find something else than a white Lucia gown to wear.

 

My Angel

The palace? What are you talking about?

Sweet 16

It’s thit old building in the forest that we use for parties. Urgh. Ask Sara how to find it.

 

My Angel

Ohh, no worries. Think I know it. Picked Sara up earlier this year from a party at that place.

I’ll be there.

Simon couldn’t bring himself to confront the prince about him being a prince through text. Although he didn’t care much about the monarchy and the royal family, he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was kind of awkward to text his sweet 16 right now, knowing who he was. His mind still felt like it was two different people and not the same blond boy standing in front of him merely minutes ago.

He excused himself to his Mama and Sara, found his jacket and headed towards the forest and the Palace. He thought it made no difference if he was a bit earlier than what they had agreed on.

As he walked through the forest, he skimmed through the text they had shared in the past week, reminding himself why he liked this boy and why he still wanted to get to know him even more. As he read all the text, he smiled to himself. All the talk about family business and what was becoming of a 16-year-old boy suddenly made much more sense. No wonder the Queen and Queen Consort of Sweden would be opposed to having a queer son. That would bring so many headlines and the sheer amount of homophobic people that the royal family surrounded themselves with was most likely a lot. Like a lot, a lot.

Simon shook his head dismissing the thought of that. It was a problem he could think about another time. For now, he needed to focus on meeting his date. Because apparently, he had a real date with the prince of Sweden.

He found the Palace fairly quick and waited in the dark forest scrolling through Instagram to pass time and still his head.

“Hey.” Simon jumped a little when he heard a faint voice behind him. Turning around he saw the prince standing in front of him although it was with a considerate amount of space between them. Simon forced a small smile to his lips as he replied with a low “Hey.”

And then they stood like that. Looking at each other in awkward silence. Simon kicking the fallen leaves on the ground, not knowing what to do or say.

It was the prince who interrupted the silence as the first one. “How are you?”

“Good, yeah. Thanks” Simon mumbled, took a deep breath, and then more confidently continued “Trying to wrap my head around how big of a deal your family business truely is. It’s uhmm… It’s something else I guess.”

Wilhelm sent a little, shy smile his was and Simon whished he would be in the receiving end of more smiles to come. “It is something huh…” Wilhelm slowly said. “Do you still. I mean… Does it?” The prince haltered sounding unsure how to say what he wanted to say.

After a brief moment of silence Simon took pity on him. “Do I still want to meet you? Get to know you?” he asked with an arced eyebrow. Wilhelm nodded and looked down as if the leaves were suddenly extremely interesting.

  Simon sighed and walked a little closer to Wilhelm. “I do want to know you better. I was really looking forward to this date.” At the sound of the word date, Wilhelm’s head jerked up so fast that Simon almost felt the urge to step back. Wilhelm looked Simon directly in the eyes as if willing him to keep talking, so Simon did.

“But. It also feels kind of awkward now you know. Knowing who you are, what you are, but also because it felt like you fled the room back at the school. And uhm, for a moment I thought that you might be disappointed or. I don’t know. I thought that you regretted agreeing to meeting me.”

“no, no, no..” Wilhelm stepped even closer to Simon now. Taking one of Simon’s hands between his own two. “No, I do not regret meeting you. I might have fled the room as smoothly as I could but only because….”And then he faltered again.

“Only because what?” Simon asked in a whisper.

“Only because you are so pretty, and I did not know how to deal with that while still being expected to act like a representant for my family. Everyone in that room had an eye on me. “Wilhelm all but blurred out.

“You think I’m pretty?” Simon asked flabbergasted.

“Very” Wilhelm smiled at him.

Simon beamed at him all giddily and warm inside. “Thanks.” He then said. “So are you, just so you know… Uhmm. Should we take a walk or something?”

Taking Simons hand in one of his, Wilhelm returned the smile and started walking with Simon by his side. For a time, they didn’t say anything. Was just contempt walking close to each other already feeling that they knew the other person to some extend by their hefty amounts of texts send between them the last week.

“Can I ask you my three questions of the day now?” Simon then asked. Wilhelm smiled at him and nodded.

“Okay. First one” Simon continued. “How do you spend most of your free time?”

“To be honest I really don’t have that much free time in between classes, schoolwork, and rowing. Some weekends and on holidays I’m expected home in Stockholm to attend formal or official events and outings. After my confirmation I also sit in on some meetings together with my brother or mother or both, but it’s not that many yet. Before I went to Hillerska I went to a public school and hung out with people that I thought were friends, but ever since I have relocated, I haven’t heard from a single one of them. Guess we weren’t that good friends after all.”

“That must suck, not to have any free time. And not hearing from your friends” Simon pondered aloud.

“It’s always been like that. I often tell myself that I’m not really missing out of anything if I don’t know what I’m missing. You know… And for most of my life people only wanted to befriend me because of my title in the first place. So, it is what it is.” Wilhelm tried.

Simon chuckled. “That does not mean that you aren’t missing out of things, Silly.” He gave the prince a light push in the side with his elbow. “You need to come by my place one day and game with me and the guys.”

“Thanks, but uhmm. I don’t know how to game. Never done it before” The prince mumbled. Simon stopped in his track forcing Wilhelm to stop as well. Looking dead serious at him he exclaimed. “That’s it! You are officially invited to a gaming convention at my house! And that’s not just because you’re a prince. It’s because you need some proper education on teen life!”

 

At that Wilhelm laughed so hard Simon startled for a moment before joining in with a giggle. When the laughter had calmed down a bit Wilhelm chuckled. “I don’t think my mom thinks gaming is a way of proper education, Simon. I’m pretty sure she would forbid me to visit you if she knew we would game.” He scratched the back of his head nervously.

Simon stared at him with a curious look in his eyes. “Why?” He then asked.

Wilhelm groaned, looking almost embarrassed as he answered. “My mom is very avid on us keeping up the positive image of the Royal Family. As she points out to Erik and me, there are many people in Sweden who does not like our family or thinks it’s a waste of money or whatever. We need – and I quote – We need to be perfect, to look perfect and act perfect for us to survive. There are no room for error for any of us! I guess that’s why gaming has always been out of the question when it came to a royal upbringing. Violent games and such are not becoming for princes.”

Simons eyes widened. “Wow. That’s like a lot of pressure to put on a teenager and his brother. I mean. Who on earth does not make mistakes when they are teenagers?”

Wilhelm smiled. “I know right. Why do you think I was shipped of to a boarding school in the middle of a forest?”

Simon shrugged. “I honestly don’t know Wilhelm. I’m not really into keeping up with celebs.” He made air quates in the air saying the last word.

Wilhelm was staring at Simon looking like he debated with himself whether or not to keep talking. After a moment he spoke up. “I kind of was involved in a fight one evening when I went out with my old friends. There were people from the press and all these phones and uhmmm. Well, there are a lot of videos of me punching a guy in the face. But I swear, I’m not normally like that! The guy was just so….” Wilhelm trailed of lost in memories of the night, or maybe something else. Simon couldn’t quite decipher the look in the prince’s eyes. He felt like he needed to offer some kind of comfort, so he slowly put his free hand on Wilhelm’s shoulder, squeezing a bit to wordlessly say that he was here.

“It’s okay Wilhelm.” Simon whispered. “It’s okay, that you don’t like it here. Just know that you can always talk to me if you feel like you need to talk to someone. I’ll not say anything to anyone.” Wilhelm looked Simon in the eyes when Simon continued with a small smile. “And I’ve never been that much into the monarchy in the first place. I really don’t care if you have a title or whatever. To me you’re just Wilhelm.”

“Wille!” Wilhelm hurriedly said. “My friends call me Wille. And thanks. That really means a lot to me.”

Both boys were smiling at each other, still holding hands and Simon still resting his other hand on Willes shoulder. Slowly, oh so slowly, Wille stepped closer to Simon. He could feel Willes breath against his cheek, smell his cologne and see every part of his face so clearly that it made him dizzy. And then he was devoured in a warm and tight hug from Wille. Without any afterthought Simon wrapped his arms around the prince to mimic his movements. It felt nice and save standing so close to Wille, just sharing a hug for comfort.

They were interrupted by Simon’s phone going off.

“Shit sorry!” Simon exclaimed when he fished his phone up from his pocket. It was his mom calling. “Sorry, It’s Mama. I need to take this, okay.” Willed just nodded and stepped back from Simon, but before he was too far away Simon caught his hand in one swift motion and send a smile his way. 

Simon spoke in rapidly Spanish with his mother leaving Wille in the dark as to what they were talking about. He just stood there, holding Simon’s hand, and kicking some leaves around with his foot. Not long after, Simon ended the call and looked apologetic at Wille.

“I’m so sorry, but Mama want’s us to go home now. She needs to work tonight so yeah… And I may have forgotten to tell her that I had a date with a boy from Sara’s fancy school.” Simon looked sad saying all this.

Wille shrugged. “It’s okay.” He said in a small voice.

Walking closer to him Simon placed his free hand on Wille’s cheek instantly feeling how Wille leaned into the touch. “Hey, we just need to find another time to meet up okay! I still want to find out who you are. Get to know you. Not just through texts! Okay?”

Wille nodded. “Okay.” Then came a bright smile that almost made Simon’s knee wabble. “I would really like to know you too! Outside texts I mean.” The boys smiled at each other before Simon went in for another hug noticing how good Wille smelled before he reluctantly stepped back and began walking towards the school to meet his Mama.

 

My Angel

Is it okay if I change your name to Wille now?

 

Sweet 16

Only if I can change yours to Simon.

My Angel

Sure! I had fun today.

 

Wille

Haha, we barely had any time together.

Simon

I know, but still liked the time we spent together though. We need to spend more time together on our second date though!

Wille

Second date? Who said I would like a second on?

Simon

OMG! I’m mortified. I just assumed that there would be another date. I’m so sorry. If you’re not like into me or whatever, that’s okay. We can just stay friends. I swear!!!

Wille

Relax Simon! Of course, we’re going on a second date. I’m just messing with you.

Simon

What! Are you serious! That was not funny, Wille.

 

Wille

It really was funny. But to be honest…. You are way to pretty to not go on a second date with.

Simon

What?

OMG, Wille you can’t just say shit like that.

Wille

Sorry?

Simon

Don’t be sorry. I think you’re pretty too. Like really beautiful.

Wille

No one told me that before. Thanks <3

 

Simon

No one? Everybody must have been lying to you then <3

Wille

Hmm, guess so.

Simon

So, I still have two questions left for today. Can I ask them now?

 

Wille

Sure, Go ahead!

 

Simon

When was your first kiss?

 

Some time went by without any answers from Wille, and Simon started to slightly panic. What if this question was too much too soon? They had met that evening and it was a great first meeting al things considered. They had hugged and there was definitely a connection between them, so why was Simon afraid of frightening the other boy all of a sudden?

Time went by and as Simon went to watch a movie with his Mama and Sara his head was spiraling with all kinds of scenarios of why Wille wasn’t answering. He tried his best to act normal throughout the movie, but by the sideway glances Sara was sending him, he knew he was failing miserably.

Sara cornered him when they were on their way to bed, asking with a small whisper “What is up with you, Simme?” Simon shrugged his shoulders trying to look nonchalant, but again failed to fool his sister.

“You disappeared at the school today. I really hoped that you and Felice could have gotten to know each other a bit. She is an important friend to me, and you just walked away. What was that about? And know you’re all distracted and sad.” She pushed on.

Stepping into Sara’s space, Simon hissed at her. “Not here, Sara. Later, okay?” There was a pleading in his eyes that he knew Sara couldn’t resist so the girl just sighed and continued walking towards the bathroom.

When Sara was almost done in the bathroom with her nighttime routine Simon felt his phone vibrate. A wave of relief washed over him when he saw Willes name at the display. Just at that moment Sara stepped out on the hallway looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

Wille

Sorry, had to have supper at Forest Ridge and then do some socializing. They asked why I disappeared this afternoon.

 

Simon

It’s okay. Hey uhm, my sister asks about where I went today. What should I tell her?

Wille

Oh, I don’t know. What do you want to tell her?

 

Simon

Not really want to tell her anything. I like that it’s just you and me right now. Although I told Ayub and Rosh that I was texting this strange guy from Stockholm.

Wille

You told your friends?!!

Simon

Just because they wouldn’t stop bothering me that first weekend. I was on my phone way more than normal.

Wille

I guess that’s okay.

Simon

I would never tell anybody that it’s you I’m texting unless we’ve talked about it first. I get that it’s a big deal to you to tell people who you’re dating.

Simon

Texting, I meant texting.

Wille

Hahaha, It’s okay. We were on a date today and agreed to a second one, so I guess we could say that we are casually dating or something?

 

Simon

I like that sound of that <3

At that moment Sara all but jumped Simon demanding to know who he was constantly texting. “Who is he, Simme! You are so bad at hiding your feelings. You light up every time you look at your phone and I know that it’s not Ayub or Rash that makes you smile like that!”

Simon wiggled around until Sara landed on the floor again and dragged her into his room, closing the door.

“Okay” with a deep breath he quickly said. “I went on a date with a guy from your school today. We’ve been texting for some time now.”

Simon almost thought that Sara’s eyes were going to pop out of her head. “OMG! Who is it! Is it someone I know!” She all but squalled.

Simon just sent her a mischievous smile but said nothing. That caused Sara to shake Simons body while jumping up and down. “OMG! This is so good; I want to know everything! Tell me everything. Are you going to see him again? Did you kiss? Which year is he in? WHO IS HE?”

Simon laughed at his hysterical sister. “I’m not going to tell who he is; we didn’t kiss, we are going on another date at some point. And everything else is none of your business, Sara. Now get out of my room!” Gently he pushed a still excited Sara out of his room and found his phone once he was alone with a closed door.

Wille

And thanks for not telling who I am. I really appreciate privacy a lot.

Simon

Nothing to thank for. I told Sara that I was on a date with someone from her school. She was getting suspicious.

Wille

Ohh

Simon

I just said it was someone from her school and that everything else wasn’t her business.

Wille

Thanks

Simon

No problem

There was a small pause in their texting, Simon not knowing where to pick up their conversation after this. Luckily it was Wille who found a way for them to continue their texting.

Wille

To answer your question, I’ve never kissed anybody. Sorry.

Simon

Never! How is that even possible? And why are you saying sorry?

 

 

Wille

I guess I’m just very suspicious of people and in general I don’t let anybody get close to me. It’s probably not something you want to hear a 16-year-old boy say. I’s kind of lame huh? 

Simon

Hey! Not lame at all! I only kissed one boy. You know the one I told you about, but it truly wasn’t a big deal. Almost whish it didn’t happen so somebody else could be my first kiss.

Wille

Really?

Simon

Yes…

Wille

And who would you have liked your first kiss to be then?

Simon

I don’t know hahah

Simon

… you

Wille

Why does that sound like a question?

Simon

Because I don’t know if it’s appropriate to say to someone you only met once. Because I don’t know how you feel about that.

Wille

I would really, like to be your first kiss, Simon.

 

At that Simon felt like dying and going to heaven. This boy was something else. On one hand he was shy and unsecure, but on the other hand he was just so straight forward like he had nothing to worry about. What was he doing to Simon.

Simon

OMG! Shut up, you can’t just say something like that!

 

Wille

You started it!

Simon

True, but. Just arrgh.

Wille

Hey Simon?

Simon

Yes?

Wille

What are you doing this weekend?

Simon

Nothing much. Really haven’t got any plans.

Wille

Would you like to visit me at the school? Many of the other students are going home this weekend, so it’s not so crowded.

Simon

Is that even allowed? Me visiting you?

Wille

Well, I would have to sneak you in through the window, but I can just claim that I want to study all weekend and have video meetings and stuff. Get food brought to my room. Nothing I haven’t done before.

Simon

Okay… It is kind of sad that you hide in your room during the weekend, Wille. But this weekend I will hide with you.

Chapter 4: Chapter four

Summary:

“OMG, I swear Wille, you are such a drama queen, but you just don’t know it yourself!”

Notes:

I messed up the dates in this fic.
According to the 2020 calendar Lucia was on a Sunday, not a Thursday. That would make Christmas eve to be on a Monday and not a Thursday as it was in 2020. So now I’m all stressed because I mention days and dates later on in this fic. But let’s just, for the sake of fun and games, pretend that the days I’m writing in the fic are the actual days and dates, okay?

Chapter Text

Chapter four

Saturday

“Mama! I’m going to Ayub’s this weekend!” Simon’s voice could be heard throughout the house as he put on his shoes and jacket and threw his overnight back over his shoulder. Linda wished him a good weekend with his friend and to call if there were any problems or if he needed to be picked up before time.

As Simon walked to the bus, he couldn’t help feeling both nervous and excited at the same time. He was going to be together with Wille today, maybe the whole weekend. He wasn’t sure what their plan was. Sure, he was going to spend Saturday with Wille in his dorm, but none of them had brought up Saturday evening and night. And Simon felt fine ignoring that minor detail feeling too embarrassed asking about that himself. Simon had talked with Ayub and explained that he might needed a place to crash Saturday night, but that nothing was written in stone yet.

Ayub was not happy about this, and he kept telling Simon to be careful and tell someone, if not him, where he went. Little did Ayub know that Simon already knew the person he was meeting with, and that Simon felt 100% safe in the persons present. Simon hadn’t told his friends about the date two days prior so naturally they didn’t know it was Wille he was meeting again. They only knew about the mysterious boy their friend had been texting nonstop for little over a week know.

Thus this, Ayub agreed to let Simon crash if he needed a place to be Saturday night. After all, what were friends for?

Once seated in the bus, Simon texted Wille letting him know he was on his way. The plan was for Simon to go from the bus stop, through the forest and then enter Willes room through the window. So much for a casual date, Simon thought to himself.

The bus ride went by quickly and before he knew of it, he was speed walking up to the back of Forest Ridge. There was only one window which were open, and he guessed it was where Willes room were located. With his heart beating like crazy he surged over the muddy plain and as he came closer, he could se a boy sitting in the frame of the window smiling out towards him.

“Hey, you” Simon smiled when he reached the window. “Hey” Wille greeted him before howling him in through the window. “How was the bus ride?” Wille asked once they both were inside the dorm.

“Fine.” Simon replied while taking in Willes room. There were not many personal things in the room. A shelve with some books, a strip of red neon light. On the worktable were books in neatly stacked piles, a snow globe with a frog inside, a glass of water and a computer.

“You don’t decorate much do you” Simon laughed at Wille who was just looking at Simon in awe, like he couldn’t believe he was there in his room.

“Wille..” Simon’s voice was like an echo in the silent room.  

“Sorry” Wille mumbled, “I didn’t see a point in decorating the room since I don’t really like it here. And uhmm, I didn’t really want to go to school here so I didn’t pack that much stuff to be honest. It was meant as a silent protest.”

At that Simon laughed. “OMG, I swear Wille, you are such a drama queen, but you just don’t know it yourself!”

“Hey!” Wille faked an offended look. When Simons laughter had calmed down Wille took his hand and softly said “I’m so glad you’re here. You’re like the only one I can talk to here. The only one who gets me.”

Simon heart broke a little for the boy in front of him, and to offer a bit of comfort he squeezed Willes hand in a reassuring gesture. “I’m glad I’m here too” He answered in a hoars voice.

Wille smiled at him. “Do you want to watch something? I really didn’t plan any longer than to get you in here without being seen.” He then said and scratched the back of his neck.

Simon agreed, end they crawled up in Wille’s bed, sitting side by side, shoulders bumping into each other. It was a single bed, so they needed to sit close together. Luckily neither of them felt weirded out by that, seeking comfort in each other’s closeness. After some time, they settled on a show that had run for some seasons, but neither of them had watched, figuring it would be fun to watch something that was new for both of them.

While watching Simon noticed Wille starring at him from time to time, almost like he couldn’t control where his eyes went. “What?” Simon asked after a while. He startled Wille who jumped a little.

“What?” Wille asked seemingly confused.

“You keep looking at me” Simon smiled.

“Ohh, Sorry.” Wille gulped and tried to move a little further away from Simon.

Simon reached for Wille, hand landing on his thigh. “Hey, stay here.” He looked pleadingly at Wille. “It’s okay. You can look at me if you absolutely must” he then added to lighten the mood and sending Wille a bright smile.

“Oh f… you!” Wille whined. “Just make fun of me please. Don’t mind my fragile feelings.”

“Your fragile feelings?” Simon raised his eyebrow. “Your feelings are no more fragile than any other horny teens.” And then Simon laughed. The sound of Simons laughter made Wille loose his breath. Simon was so beautiful when he laughed. He looked so happy and so carefree, throwing his semi long hair around like it was some kind of fashion accessory.

As Simon’s laughter faltered the room went silent. The only thing they could hear was the muffled voices from the show they had put on, on Wille’s computer. The computer screen lit up the dimly lit room from the desk chair that it was standing on.  Suddenly the air felt thick with anticipation like both boys was waiting for something, but not quite sure what.

Simon looked Wille directly in the eyes. Those big, brown, alluring eyes that always flooded with so many held back emotions. “Wille…” Simon started, but then stopped himself not sure of what to say.

Wille broke the eye contact for a second looking down in his lap but then asked in a calm voice while turning his focus back on Simon. ”Can I kiss you?”

Simon looked at Wille with big eyes, not sure if what he thought he heard was in fact true. Non then less he nodded, giving Wille a silence permission to kiss him. Slowly, oh so slowly, Wille moved towards Simon’s personal space. He could feel his breath getting more prominent second by second and then their lips were pressed together in the sweetest and most careful kiss Simon had ever had.

Way to quick Wille pulled back, resting his forehead against Simons, smiling with his eyes closed. Simon studied his face. He looked so peaceful, like it wasn’t just his first kiss but something that he was so content with that it sent him into a bliss of euphoria. Simon moved back and kissed Wille again in a short and sweet kiss and then they were looking at each other again.

“Okay?” Simon asked. Wille nodded asking Simon “Are you okay?” Voice soft as silk.

Simon smiled at him, looking him in the eyes. “Of course, I’m okay!” Wille smiled and it dawned for Simon that this was probably a really big thing for Wille. If Wille had just been a normal teen a first kiss was exciting and daring and all-consuming and a lot of emotions racing through the body, but as a royalty who the whole country was interested in it must also be a declaration of trust. Wille had no way of knowing if Simon would go and tell a tabloid about this moment, about all the things they texted about. This was a huge deal for Wille, and he trusted Simon enough to share this private first time with him. A shiver ran through him by that revelation. Wille truly trusted Simon.

“Are you sure you’re, okay?” Wille asked with a concerned gleam in his eyes.

“I am okay, okay. It’s just.” Simon paused for a moment smiling at the prince. “Thank you for letting me be your first kiss. Thank you for being honest with me and letting me know you and trusting me to not.. you know. Tell others about our private conversations and stuff.” He reached out to touch Willes cheek and the second his hands were on Wille, the prince nuzzled into the touch just like he had done Thursday evening.

Wille let his hand slide through Simons long curls before once again bringing their foreheads together. “Thank you for trusting me! Thank you for not caring about my family and thank you for letting me get to know you!” And then their lips were on each other again. This time though the kiss was much more urgent and sloppier. Hands were thrown around each other, lips were crashing together. Teeth were in the way, hair felt down in Wille’s face, hair felt down in Simon’s face. But they kept kissing, because this was real, and this was them, and this was just everything.

 

A while later, Wille remorseful pulled himself away from Simon when his stomach grumbled. The tv-show was paused, asking if they would continue watching, and the two boys were breathless from kissing, lips swollen, cheeks red and hair disheveled.

“Sorry” Wille said. “I was so nervous this morning that I couldn’t eat anything, so I guess I’m already hungry again.” He looked sheepishly at Simon.

“No worries, Wille.” Simon ensured the other boy, clasping their hands together. “How does it work with food around here in the weekends? I mean, I’m sure I can’t get to join you in the dining room but uhmm.. yeah. Never wondered about the practices of living at a boarding school before.”

“Ohhh, yeah. We normally have lunch between noon and 1. pm in the dinning room, but I will just stack a plate and take it back to our room so we can eat here if that’s okay with you?” Wille explained.

Simon smiled at him. Wille hadn’t even noticed how he had called his dorm room for their room. He just continued the conversation like it was nothing. Like they always stayed together in Willes tiny dorm. “You might take a look in the mirror before you head out on your quest for food.” Was Simons response. “Your hair is all messed up and stuff.”

Wille pushed Simon lightheartedly and jumped off the bed to go inspect himself in the mirror. The sight that met him was of a slightly flushed boy, with hair sticking out in every direction and a disarranged shirt.

“Shit” Wille muttered under his breath and quickly tried to smooth out his shirt and do something with his hair. After a little while he looked somewhat decent and ready to go out into the world. He gave Simon a big smile and ensured him, that he would be quick and then he left the room.

Simon dropped down on the bed smiling like a kid at Christmas eve. He couldn’t believe that they had made out for the most part of two hours! Time had flown by in no time and Simon didn’t mind. He liked spending time with Wille, but still wanted to get to know him better. Not just physically, but on a more profound level. Wille intrigued him, made him laugh and made him happy. He also brought up something else in Simon that he hadn’t felt before and he couldn’t quite place that feeling. He had an idea of what it could be but refused to think of it as what it probably was. It was too soon to fall in love with Wille, he thought. And he would not allow himself to admit that the possibility of him already being in love with this boy was very true. After all. He was just 16 and didn’t know what he was doing, he argued with himself. But the nagging feeling that this was something real to hold on to never left him.

He was rushed out of his stream of thoughts by the door suddenly swinging open. Simon gasped and tensed, afraid it was one of the other boys in the house but relaxed again when he saw that it was just Wille balancing a big plate filled with food in on hand and a big glass of water in the other.

“Let me help you!” Simon exclaimed and walked towards Wille and taking the glass of water. He looked around confused as where he should put the glass.

“Just leave it at the desk” Wille said afterwards he dropped to the floor with the food, signaling for Simon to join him. Once both boys were seated, backs leaning up against the bed they started eating.

“I didn’t know what you like so I took a little of everything” Wille said shily, looking very concentrated at the food.

“Ohh I’m not that picky when it comes to food, but thanks for the consideration.” Simon replied tamely. After that there were a silent moment where both just enjoyed the food and the closeness of each other.

“How was it” Simon then started, “to grow up at a palace?” Wille looked at him confused so Simon elaborated. “Like, are your rooms these antique rooms with lots of old stuff that you can’t touch? Did you have to wear those blue plastic shoes over your own shoes when walking around or were you not allowed to roam the palace? Do you have actual real guards standing guard?”

Wille smiled fondly at Simon while chewing his food before he began to speak. “Our rooms are not antique in the sense that you’re thinking, but there is old stuff everywhere. In my room most of the furniture is brand new, but the walls and wallpaper and stuff are old because the palace is old, you know. Like old, old! I’m not allowed to just hang up stuff on the walls because it will ruin them permanently. We don’t wear blue plastic shoes over our own shoes when we walk around. Although it would be fun to see Mama and Pappa walk around in those while walking from meeting to meeting or greeting other state representatives.” Wille chuckled lightly, like he was picturing the Queen and Queen Consort wearing those blue plastic shoes. “I’ve got a pair of warm slippers that I use in the palace. It’s always a bit chilly in the fall and winter because it’s so old so you can’t walk around without shoes on. But in the summer, it’s so warm because it’s an old building and the central heat was added so much later so it’s kind of hard to regulate both in the winter and the summer.” Simon nodded to indicate that he was listening. Wille ate a bit more before he continued his monologue.

“We have this private part of the castle which has been modernized and all. It’s somewhat cozy with our own private kitchen, a sitting room, a dining room, a grand dining room, bathrooms, offices, a tv room, guest rooms and then our own rooms and then there are the public part of the palace where you can get guided tours and stuff.”

Simons eyes grew big as he heard of alle the different rooms in their private part of the castle. “We’ve only got three rooms, a living room and a kitchen/dining room.” Simon whispered and looked at Wille.

“ohh, I was not aware of that” Was Willes response.

“Did you ever get to play hide and seek?” Simon then asked to lighten the mood that suddenly had become strange and tense.

Wille laughed “Not in the public part of the palace, but in the private we were allowed. Eric and I would often sneak out in the gardens though and run around doing all kinds of goofy shit we weren’t supposed to do. I haven’t got count on how many time our nannies corrected us for getting our clothes dirty or shoes all moody. We were really something to handle when we were younger.”

“Only when you were younger? And Nannies as in plural?” Simon wondered aloud.

“Yeah. It all changed when Eric was enrolled to Hillerska 4 years ago. Then he didn’t need a nanny and I was old enough to only have one fulltime nanny. Eric and I are still close, but it’s not like when we were younger and could just goof around. He has so much more responsibility now that it’s hard to find a time to even talk on the phone. But we try to have an actual call once a week. She got dismissed when I started here at this school by the way.” 

“Who?” Simon was confused and overwhelmed by how different their worlds were.

“The nanny got dismissed when I started this school. I guess it’s not that normal to have a nanny until you’re 15-16 years, but otherwise I feel like our parents tried to give us a sense of a normal upbringing” Wille concluded.

“Hate to break it for you, Love, but nothing of what you just said is normal!” Simon mugged.

Wille looked at him with big eyes as if he had said something wrong and then occurred to Simon, that he had just called Wille Love. His eyes widened. It was one thing to text the words to each other but to actually say them out loud was a bit too much for now. Or was it.

But Wille just leaned in and kissed Simon right on the lips, without any care. After the initial shock of being called Love, he seemed to be just fine with the pet name, so Simon decided to not let the slip interrupt their day.

After kissing Simon, a second and a third time Wille pushed the plate with food away and laid himself down on the floor, so his head was resting in Simon’s thighs. “Tell me about your childhood then?” Wille asked.

Simon thought for a moment. How much was he going to talk about his father and the problematic relationship they all had with him.

“There’s not much to say. I grew up here in Bjärstad. Met Ayub and Rosh when we started in school and been friends ever since although we are so different. I live with my Mama and Sara. Our dad is not in the picture right now and will never be a real part of our family again. It’s a long story, and some day I will tell you about it, but not today. Okay?” Simon cradled his fingers through Willes hair while speaking, looking straight ahead. It was to scarry to look down at the beautiful boy who was laying in his lap.

“Before everything went to shit with our dad, he taught me how to play piano and he took me to concerts and stuff. It was him who introduced me to music, and I guess that’s why it hurts so much that he doesn’t give a shit about us any longer. It’s like…” Simon stopped and thought his next words through. “It’s like I can’t comprehend that the thing I love most in this world is something I have been giving, or been introduced to, by a person that I will have nothing to do with ever again. Do you know what I mean?”

Wille nodded carefully resting his hand on one of Simons arms giving them a gentle squeeze. “I don’t get the exact same thing but… I mean. I’m grateful for all that I have, but sometimes I just wish I could be normal. It’s hard and confusing having a mother who’s both your Mama but also your Queen. And I know you don’t like the monarchy and all that comes with it, but I must like it and support it and what we do for the sake of the Queen and our image. And it’s just so hard when I just want to be Wille. Not Prince Wilhelm of Sweden. But everybody always expects me to be a prince all the fucking time and I just can’t. I can’t handle the pressure, Simon.” When saying his title, he scrunched his nose like he was mocking himself.

Simon stroked his chin warmly before saying. “I don’t hate or dislike everything about the monarchy.” Wille and Simon locked eyes and feeling a sudden bravery Simon pushed on. “Recently I’ve been growing much fonder of especially one thing from the monarchy, or one person to be exact. “

“And who is that?” Wille asked with a smile.

“Have you not seen the Crown Prince? He is smoking!” Simon grinned. That earned him a glare from Wille so offended and resentful that Simon almost thought he had overstepped. That was until Wille fished out his phone and said with a mocking uptight voice. “I better call my brother then. Guess your kissing with the wrong prince today.”

“No, no, please don’t, Wille” Simon laughed, and reached down to kiss the prince carefully on the lips. “I only want to kiss this one laying right here!” Wille smiled at him, while bringing Simon’s head down so they could share more kisses.

 

A while after Simon began growing restless. Moving around on the floor like something was wrong.

“Everything okay? You want to ley on the bed instead?” Wille asked with concern in his voice. Simon blushed unsure how to tell Wille that he really needed to use the bathroom. “It’s nothing” he stuttered after a while but when Wille just kept looking at him with his big brown eyes Simon confessed. “I need to use the bathroom, okay. But I guess it’s on the hallway or something right?”

“Ohh,” Wille smiled for a short second. “I didn’t think of that when I asked you over. I guess I have to sneak you out to the hallway and into the bathroom then.” At that Simon stood up in the middle of the room. “You’re not sneaking me into the bathroom, Wille. That’s just too much.” The rest went unsaid, but Wille got the message loud and clear. Simon would not sneak around just to go to the bathroom.

“What should we do then?” Wille sighed looking a bit distressed. “I swear I wouldn’t have suggested this if I knew it was going to be a problem. I didn’t even think it through! I’m so sorry Simon.”

“Hey, none of that, Wille.” Simon assured the boy in front of him, stroking his arm in a hopefully reassuring gesture. “I’ll just go out there really quick and if anyone sees me I’ll say I’m someone from the palace or something princly bullshit.”

Wille laughed. “Princly bullshit! WTF is that even?”

“You tell me!” Simon laughed in return before he went out the door of the dorm room to go to the bathroom.

 

                                                                                                        Simon

                                                                                                        Can you check if there is anybody in the hallway?

Wille

Sure. Give me a second.

 

Wille

No one’s here. Please come back to me now. I miss you!

 

Simon

OMG Stop yourself Wille. I’ve been away for like 5 minutes.

 

As Simon walked back through the empty hallway, he could see Wille standing in his doorway with a goofy smile painted across his face. He shook his head as he tried to comprehend that he was actually on a date with this dork who missed him after just 5 short minutes of him going to the bathroom. It was just so unreal.

When he reached Wille, Simon was pulled inside the room again with a force so desperate that it took him off guards. “I missed you!” Wille said in between kisses. Simon just laughed at him, trying his best to kiss the prince back without biting him or something else just as mortifying. He almost succeeded, but as they tumbled down on the bed, Simon accidently kicked Wille over the shin which cursed Wille to stop his molestation of Simons lips for a brief moment to complain about how he was hurt. He got no compassion from Simon who just kept kissing Wille down his cheekbones, neck, and shoulders and soon Wille gave up his complaints and got lost in their dance – just like Simon.  

“You are unbelievable, Simon.” Wille sighed.

“Why?” Simon asked, only stopping his kissing of Wille to give a quick answer. “Because you are you.” Wille answered laughing, pulling Simon down onto him in the bed. “That’s not a real answer, Wille.” Simon smiled at him. He saw how Willes eyes were blown and full of admiration and affection towards him, and it almost took his breath away. Wille was just so beautiful.

They lay in bed for a while, kissing each other senseless. It was like time stood still and nothing beside the two of them existed. Simon kind of wanted more than just kissing this beautiful boy, but he knew they shouldn’t do any more. Not today at least. He was well aware that he was hard, and so was Wille, but Simon really wanted to know this beautiful boy before anything else happened between them so he could treasure the moment they decided to do anything more than kissing even more.

He knew from his friends and classmates that sex could be great and fun but also really, really bad if it happened on the wrong terms or of the wrong reasons, and he didn’t want to risk that with Wille. What they were to build between the two of them needed to be special and meaningful and so much more than just casually hooking up. He had already shares so much of himself with Wille that he couldn’t phantom the thought of them not building something special.

He could feel Wille’s hand reaching for his thigh, reaching for the inside of his thigh and he froze for a moment before a slight panic reached him.

 “Wille, Wille we should” Simon tried to say, but found it so hard to say anything coherent when he was drunk on endorphins from kissing Wille. “Wille we shouldn’t do this right now” he finally managed to say.

Wille pulled away with the speed of lightning looking confused and hurt at the same time. “What?” he whispered. He looked so hurt and small that Simon went in to hug him, but Wille pulled away from him in a rapid motion.

“Wille?” Simon asked confused. “Wille, please. Don’t be mad at me for this” He could see that Wille wasn’t mad per say, but the words just slipped out of Simon’s mouth without thinking them through.

“Why should I not be mad?” Wille sounded so small, like he was about to break anytime soon. “If you didn’t want to do this, why did you say it then?”

Simon was confused now. “Say what?”

Wille shook his head in a defeated manner and crawled back, away from Simon, to sit in the corner of the bed, back pushed up against the wall. The room was silence for a little while until Wille spoke.

“Why did you say that you wanted to kiss me when you say the opposite now? Is it really that bad? Am I that bad? Was it just for fun or a game or…” Wille started sobbing in his corner of the bed and it broke Simon’s heart to pieces to see the boy he cared so much for like this.

“Wille, look at me please” Simon pleaded, reaching for the other boy’s leg. Wille just shook his head and continued to look down in the bed. “Please” Simon whispered, starting to feel his own emotions take over.

After what felt like hours Willes locked eyes with Simon, and it was like his whole world stopped turning. The look that met him was so sad and full of hurt that Simon’s eyes started feeling damp.

“Wille, I really like you.” He started. “I really like kissing you, talking to you, being with you and everything else we’ve been doing today. Okay?” He needed to know that Wille had heard him. The prince gave a short nod which made Simon sigh, but he continued his speech. “I’m not ready for anything else besides that right now. I don’t think I can go any further than kissing right now and when I felt your hand begin to wander, in just had to stop it because….” He took a pause in his stream of words to collect his thoughts. “If I hadn’t stopped you, I would have let you touch me and I really wanted that as well, if you weren’t aware of that. But Wille. I want to know you fully, not just… sexually.” He hid his face behind his hands. This turned out to be a really hard conversation to have and Wille just sat there staring at him and saying nothing.

“Do you understand what I’m saying, Wille?” Simon needed to know that he was being heard. He needed it like he needed air, because if Wille didn’t hear him or understood him and wanted nothing to do with him, he couldn’t imagine what he himself would do. He was rapidly falling in love with Wille and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“I hear you” Wille then whispered and reached out for Simon, pulling him into a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me, and sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. It was not intentionally. I didn’t even know my hand was where it was, and it just sounded like you asked me to stop kissing you and then I thought that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore and…” Wille sobbed into Simons curls but it only mad him hold the prince even tighter because how could he not? The angle that they sat in was slightly uncomfortable, but neither of the boys cared. As long as they could hug each other, feel the other one near, uncomfortable was bearable.

 

As supper time was nearing Wille once again went out to the dinning room to fetch some food to Simon and him. Nobody questioned him about why he didn’t have time to eat in the dinning room that evening. At least that was what Wille claimed when Simon asked Wille about it. Simon grew more aware of how lonely Willes life at the boarding school must be if nobody cared if Wille showed his face for a whole day or not. Were all the teachers and students use to him hiding in his small room all weekend? He really didn’t want to think about that so he quickly chewed his food and tried to start a conversation.

“So, I’m going to sleep at Ayub’s place tonight. Is it okay if I tell him that I was here. Not with you but with someone from Hillerska?” Wille just shrug his shoulders in response and Simon got the feeling that something was off. “You need to talk to me if anything is bothering you?” Simon looked pointy at the boy in front of him. “You can’t just pretend that you don’t care about anything, because I want to know what you think about when I ask you for your opinion.”

“You can tell you were here, I guess. Just don’t…” Wille looked uncomfortable around in the room. “Can we watch a movie or something before you go?” He ended.

“Sure!” Simon replied with his mouth full of food. “I’m not in a hurry to leave. I really like being here with you, I just thought you should know in case you though that I would like… spendthenighthere.” The last part was rushed out.

“Ohh..” Was the only thing Wille replied, and the room fell quiet.

It had gotten dark outside long ago and the only light in the room came from the small desk lamp on Willes working station. Simon thought that he could get use to quiet dinners with dim light together with Wille when out of a sudden said boy blurred. “You are just so pretty, Simon.”

Now it was Simons turn to look dumbstruck, but he quickly gathered himself ad send a heartfelt smile towards Wille before leaning in over the food to kiss him. “So are you, Wille” he whispered against his lips when the kiss ended. “So, so beautiful. Inside and out.”

He sat back and started eating again, smirking when he noticed that Wille was bright red in in face.

Deciding that it was time for some light flirting he found courage and said “You look unwell, love. Is everything alright?”

Wille nodded franticly, then shook his head and stuttered a hoars “yep. Everything is peachy.” Simon laughed at him. “Come here Wille,” he pushed the food away across the floor and reach out for Wille gesturing that he should come and sit with him. As Wille scooted nearer Simon pulled him into a hug, kissed his temple and then proceeded to maneuver them up to the bed so they could sit more comfortably.

They found a movie on Netflix, but neither of them watched with interested too invested in hugging, kissing, touching and taking in the sight of one another and all too soon the movie was over, and Simon really needed to leave if he would have a change at catching the last bus of the evening.  

“I don’t want you to go.” Wille sight kissing Simon’s hair as they hugged goodbye. “Please stay”

“Maybe next time?” Simon asked looking up in Willes brown eyes. “But not tonight okay. If I stay tonight, I think things will go…” Wille nodded and kissed Simon once more. “It’s just…” the prince started. “I don’t know when I can see you again, and it’s almost Christmas and I’m going home on Christmas break and…”

“I know. And it sucks that we don’t know when we can see each other again, but we will figure something out okay? Please say we will.” Wille nodded and Simon continued. “I really like you Wille, and I really want to keep seeing you.”

Wille inhaled sharply, looking down at Simon. “I’ll really like that too, Simon.”

They kissed one last time. Or maybe it was two or three times and then Simon crawled out the window and ran towards the bus stop to catch the last bus.

As he stood by the bus stop his phone vibrated. Thinking it was Ayub he looked nonchalant at it but his whole face light up with a smile when he read the text.

Wille

Miss you already. Is that a bad thing? I feel like I shouldn’t, but I do, and I just want you to know it. Next time you’re not leaving.

Chapter 5: Chapter five

Summary:

As soon as Simon woke, he texted Wille whishing him a good morning as they always did. Ayub was still snoring in his bed, so Simon just styed at the made shift bed on the floor, floating in the memories of yesterday and Wille. There had to be a way they could see each other before the Christmas break, there just had to be!

Notes:

I can’t stress enough how happy all of your comments are making me! I’m like WHAAAAT!
Tbh I never met other YR fans so it’s so nice to hear from some of you.
The pace of me posting chapters may slow down a bit throughout the weekend and next week. As of right now I’m almost finished with chapter 6, hand I know where I want this story to go (Kind of), but I’m a self-employed full time dance teacher and sometimes my schedule is just insane!

Chapter Text

Chapter five

Saturday night/Sunday morning – like really early

Simon

Are you asleep?

Wille

No, you?

Simon

Did you really just ask that? How dumb are you? <3

Wille

Behave…..

Wille

Simon?

Simon

Yes?

Wille

I can’t stop thinking of you. I can’t stop smiling. I look like a fool walking around smiling like this.

Simon

Can I see? Send me a picture please <3

Wille

Edvin smiling

Simon

You are so beautiful, Wille. I can’t even….

Wille

Says you. Have you seen your hair? I didn’t knew I liked long hair before I saw yours. I think I’m a fan of your hair. It’s a masterpiece.

Simon

Wille?

Wille

Yes?

Simon

Now you’re not only looking like a fool, but you also sound like one too! 

Wille

Speaking of foolish things. How did it go with Ayub. Did you guys have fun?

Simon

We just went gaming and chatting. Rosh is playing a match in Stockholm tomorrow, so she had to bail early so it was just Ayub and I the rest of the night.

 

Simon didn’t tell Wille that Ayub had grilled him about this secrete date he had with an upper-class boy from Hillerska. Simon had done his best to avoid saying too much about his day with Wille and really, what was there to tell? That he had eaten lunch and supper at the floor in a small dorm room. That he kind of watched a new tv-show but that he for the love of all good things couldn’t recall what it was about or even named. Same went for the movie they were supposed to see in the evening. His mind was simply fogged with pictures of Wille smiling, laughing, eating, looking at him with so much passion that it even now took his breath away.

Ayub noticed Simon’s deviant answers and called him out on it.

“Simme, WTF are you doing if you can’t even tell me, your best friend, what you’re doing?” He looked accusing at Simon.

“Look, I know how it looks like, Ayub.” Simon tried. “But he is just so good, and so real. And I really can’t tell you much about him because he’s not out yet to anybody but me and I don’t want to pressure him about that. He already got so many expectations to meet. I don’t want to add to that!”

“Whatever dude. Just don’t come crawling back to me expecting me to comfort you when you get hurt!” Ayub huffed, clearly not accepting Simon’s answer.

It had been a tense night of gaming and they went to bed without saying much more to each other. Simon couldn’t sleep that night. He felt bad about keeping something from his friends, but at the same time he respected, that Wille just couldn’t come out from one day to the other. He was lucky that his family didn’t care about his sexuality or preferences. Linda just cared about her children dating decent human beings as she had told them so many times already.

Wille

How much does he know?

Simon

Not much. That I was at Hillerska today with a mysterious boy. He doesn’t like it though. He says that I shouldn’t be doing something that I can’t talk about.

Wille

He sounds like a good friend. I’m glad you have him. And if things continue to go well between us…

Simon

Then what?

Wille

Then maybe we can be probably together. Like having your family and friends know that we are dating and stuff.

Simon

Haha, and stuff.

Simon

But all jokes aside. What would that mean for you?

Wille

I don’t know. A lot of trouble, I think. My Mama would definitely freak out saying a lot of stuff about proper princes and marriage and stuff like that. I don’t really know about Papa, but Erik would be cool.

Simon

How do you know that?

Wille

About Erik? I think that he already suspects that I’m not 100% straight. He never said anything, but there is just this vibe I get from him.

Simon

Vibe? I don’t follow you now love.

Wille

It’s okay. Maybe I will tell him about you in the Christmas break. I think it would be nice to have him know about you.

Simon

What would you say then?

Wille
I would tell him that I met this absolutely wonderful and amazing person that I can’t get enough off. This boy that I met keeps me up at night texting although I should be sleeping, or doing homework or concentrate in school. But I can’t. Because all I can think about is this beauty.

Simon

Wille <3

Wille

I would say that I’m pretty sure that I’m falling in love with this boy, and I just can’t help it or stop it no matter what our parents say or think of the matter. I really would want Erik to meet this boy at some point.

Simon

I don’t know what to say Wille. Now I really whish I didn’t leave your boring dorm room!

Wille

You can always come back.

Simon
It’s the middle of the night. I’m not walking through a creepy forest to get to you. That just give me bed horror movie vibes. Not going to happen honey bunny.

Wille

Nope. Don’t call me that.

Simon

Whatever. I’m really tired honey bunny.

Wille

Siiiiimon. NO! <3

Go to sleep baby. We’ll talk tomorrow.

Simon

Night love <3

Wille

<3  


Wille

Erik? I need to tell you something and it can’t wait. I met someone and he is amazing. I really like him. Like so much! And I don’t care what Mama and Papa is going to say. I really want to be with him. I think I’m falling in love with him.

Erik

Wille! OMG – are you serious? I’m so happy for you. I’m going to call you tomorrow because I’m asleep right now. Or I was asleep. TTYT little brother. I’m so proud of you!

 


Sunday

Simon

Good morning <3

As soon as Simon woke, he texted Wille whishing him a good morning as they always did. Ayub was still snoring in his bed, so Simon just styed at the made shift bed on the floor, floating in the memories of yesterday and Wille. There had to be a way they could see each other before the Christmas break, there just had to be!

Wille

Good morning<3

I told my brother about you last night. After you went to sleep.

Simon

WTF! Are you for real? How did he take it?

Wille

Great. We’re going to talk later today when he has some time.

Simon

I’m so proud of you, Wille.

Wille

He said that too.

Simon

I can just imagine how you’re blushing right now.

Wille

Please don’t. It’s not that flattering a look.

Simon

Every look on you is pretty. You’re always pretty!

Wille

Shut up and go play games with your friends, dork. My brother is calling.

Simon

What! I’m offended.

 

When Simon went home, he was shattered. Ayub and he had gotten into a full-blown fight about Simon’s secret adventures, and that combined with the lack of sleep had taken its torn on him. He still had to do some homework before Monday, and he really needed a shower.

As soon as Simon was done in the shower, he grabbed his phone and saw that there was a text from Wille waiting for him.

Wille

What are you doing in the Christmas break?

Simon

I don’t know. The normal stuff, I guess. Why?

Wille

Tell me about the normal stuff. Please…

Simon got the feeling that something was off with Wille and that he needed a distraction. He was happy to be that distraction, but at the same time he really wanted Wille to tell him when something was wrong or upset him instead of just hiding it like he always did to everybody.

Simon put on some pajamas pants and crashed on his bed before answering the text.

Simon

We just stay in most of the time. Eat way too much food. Mama cooks both Swedish and Venezuelan food for Christmas so we always got so much food. Rosh and Ayub spend a lot of time here. They don’t celebrate Christmas themselves. Mama loves having us all around. Then we play board games, watch a bunch of tv. Christmas eve we have this cozy dinner. Only Sara, Mama and me and then er open presents. A year or two we have spent Christmas with some of our family from Spain.

Wille

That sounds lovely, Simon.

Simon

I’m almost afraid to ask what you do for Christmas?

Wille

I just stay at the palace doing all the things I’m told to do. We always have some family over for Christmas eve and Mama must do the Christmas speech.

Simon

I don’t know any of those things that you have to do, Wille.

Wille

Well, we have to tape the yearly tv appearance where Erik and I bake cookies or pretend to bake cookies while we kind of get interviewed. It’s like this stupid tradition that started when Erik was little. When we were kids Mama and Papa would be in the taping too, but after we grew up, it’s just Erik and me.

Simon

That doesn’t sound that bad.

Wille

But everything is so fake and staged. I do this every year, but I still don’t know how to bake cookies.

Simon

What? That’s the easiest thing. I’ll teach you <3

Wille

When I lived in Stockholm, we also did the yearly Christmas tree thing where we accept Christmas trees at the palace. I got out of that one this year. Also, the Lucia outing.

Wille

Mama wants me to attend Jul i Vasastan this year, so I have to leave school two days prior to the rest of the students for that. Apparently church choir is more important than school now.

Simon

So, you would be gone for longer than 2 weeks?

Wille

Yeah. Like two and a half weeks maybe.

Simon

I see. It totally sucks, just so you know. Not the Jul i Vasastan thing, but you that you are gone for so long.

Wille

I know. But uhmm…

Simon
Yes

Wille

Erik had this idea… Like he asked if you would like to visit us between Christmas and New Year’s Eve? He could help getting you into Drottningholm and stuff. Ask some of his Bodyguards a favor.

Simon

I would love that Wille, but I’m not sure how to tell my mom that I’m going to Stockholm to meet my secret boyfriend.

Simon

I mean…. Meet you… the one I’m casually dating.

Simon cursed out loud. He was such a fool forgetting to think before he typed stuff to Wille. What would he think now? He only just came out to his brother. There was no way he would be ready for a commitment like a relationship. Simon could only hope that Wille would dismiss the slip.

Wille

Can’t you just tell her that you want to go there with your friends?

Simon

But Wille, even if I was allowed to go there with Rosh and Ayub, how would we get there? There’s like 200 kilometers from Bjärstad to Stockholm. And I can’t just take public transport. It would be an insane journey.

Wille

Could Rosh or Ayub drive?

Simon

No. Their parents need to work. They often pick up work through the holiday because they are Muslims and doesn’t celebrate Christmas, remember.

Wille

Ohh, okay. Sorry. I just really thought it would work somehow.

Simon

I would be so awesome to come visit you. It really would. Maybe Sara can help me out.

Wille

How?

Simon

I don’t know yet, but I’ll try to figure something out.

 

Monday

Monday morning, Linda was off to work early so Simon and Sara was alone in the house. Simon saw this as his change to get Saras help with the Stockholm problem.

“I need your help, Sara” Simon said in the middle of their breakfast. Sara looked at him with a puzzled look. “With what?”

“I need you to help me get to Stockholm between Christmas and New Years Eve. The guy from your school asked me if I wanted to visit him there, and I kind of said I would figure something out.” Simon quickly explained.

“And why can’t you just not tell Mama that?” Sara was not convinced of this; Simon could hear that.

He sighed and continued. “If I tell Mama, she would like to meet this guy and she can’t because he’s not out yet and that’s also why you can’t know who he is, okay. He is just really something special and it would mean so much to me if you would help me.” He looked at his sister with big eyes. “Please Sara.”

Sara stood from the table and went to put her used plate in the dishwasher. “I guess I could ask Felice if I could visit, and we could tell Mama that you were invited too. But it must be a sleepover then. I’m not traveling all the way to Stockholm just to go back the same day!”

Simon jumped up from the table and hugged Sara. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me! Like, it’s the best thing ever, Sara. Thank you so much!”

“Easy now, Casanova” She replied in a bored tone. “I have to ask Felice first. I’ll do it before class today.”

Simon just nodded at his sister, smiling all over his face. He was sure that he looked like the smiley that looked like a big, dumb smile but he didn’t care. It looked more and more like he was going to Stockholm this Christmas.

Simon

Sara is asking Felice if we can have a sleepover at hers between Christmas and new yeas.

Wille

Okay?

Simon

I will not attend the sleep over Wille…

Wille

Ohh, now I get it. For a moment I was just like. WTF. Why can they have a sleepover at Felice who also lives in Stockholm, but not come visit me?

 Simon

Wille, baby. You are aware that I can’t ask Mama directly if I’m allowed to stay at your place, right? It would really be hard to explain.

Wille

Oh, sometimes I just forget. It’s like. We know each other and everything is good and so perfect when we are together or when we are texting, you know. And it’s not like my parents would care. Not the same way as your mother would.

Simon

I know… Sorry.

Wille

I sort of forget the real world and all the things I must do there. I like being in our own world.

Simon

I like that too, Wille.

Wille

But…

Simon

Nothing. It’s a lovely world we have together.

The phone was silence for a while and Simon guessed that Wille was in the middle of breakfast or something since he didn’t reply instantly. Instead of just waiting for a text Simon busied himself with getting dressed and ready for school. It started to bug him that he had to lie to everyone he associated with on a daily basis. It was harder than it seemed like when he first thought he could do it for Wille. But he would. He knew how much it meant for Wille that they kept their interactions secret, but the more he though of that the more it nagged him.  

By the time the bus arrived at his school, he was on the point of loosing his shit. He had been too lost in his own head on the bus ride to say a hello to his two friends. In return they had left him alone simmering with annoyance. It was only when he walked past Sara and she whispered quietly to him that she would ask Felice first this when they saw each other, that it occurred to him which state of mind he was in.

He kept his phone in his bag all day, not wanting to get himself worked up even more. He tried to be a good friend and ask about Rosh’s game, but he didn’t register her answer at all. His head was summing with thoughts that made no sense. Thoughts of disappointing his Mama and Sara, loosing his friends, loosing Wille, being with Wille, kissing Wille and just being with Wille. It was a big cloudy mixture of frustration, love, irritation, happiness, incomprehension and so much more he couldn’t point a finger at. He thought that he was losing his mind and he didn’t know what to do.

After school he went directly home, shutting himself into his room. He glared at his phone like he could compel the lifeless thing to make it all better and maybe he could, because when he finally unlocked his phone, he saw a row of notifications from texts.

Wille

I guess I can try to talk with my parents this Christmas. About you and me. I mean if we are boyfriends and really mean it, which I at least do, they should know. Mama should know.

Sara

Felice is in. I’ll text Mama and ask if we can go to Stockholm for a sleepover.

Sara

Mama was okay with the sleepover. Happy that I’ve gotten a friend and all that. We are going to Stockholm the 28th to 29th!

Simon decided to text back Sara first.

Simon

OMG! I can’t believe it! Thank you so much Sara. Best sister ever. What did you tell Felice?

Sara

The truth. You needed to get to Stockholm to meet this guy and we could cover for you while having a sleepover.

Simon

You are amazing. Love you, Sara.

Sara

Love you too. Just be careful, okay. I’m at the stables can’t text any longer.

Simon

I’m careful. Don’t worry about me.

 

Now came the texts from Wille. Simon read them through once more starting with the first one he had gotten.

 

Wille

I guess I can try to talk with my parents this Christmas. About you and me. I mean if we are boyfriends and really mean it, which I at least do, they should know. Mama should know.

Wille

Is it too early to call us boyfriends?

Wille

It’s just, you wrote it yourself and we agreed to see each other again and.. uhmm, I really don’t know what I am doing here, Simon.

Wille

Simon please, what’s the matter. Have I said something to upset you?

Wille

I swear to God! I hate math. How can you be so good at it?

Wille

Simon?

Wille

Please….

Wille

Please Simon… Talk to me

Wille

Please

Simon got a lump in his stomach. Wille sounded so desperate in his last texts that Simon felt sick. How stupid of him not to check his phone for a whole day because he got stuck in his own stream of negative teenage thoughts expecting Wille to not be concerned. He quickly types out a text for Wille.

Simon

I’m so, so, so sorry. I kind of got lost in my head and forgot to text. It’s a stupid excuse but it was really what happened.

Wille

Simon!

Simon

Yes, I’m here and I’m sorry, okay. Sara fixed it. I’m going to have a sleepover at Felice the 28th to 29th except I will be staying with you. If the offer still stands.

Wille

Of course, it does! OMG I can’t believe this!

Simon

About the text you wrote this morning.

Wille

Yes….

Simon

I don’t think it’s too early. You know the whole boyfriends thing. It maybe too early for others but not for us. And we did agree on dating so…

Wille

I am so relieved right now, Simon. You just get me like nobody else. That’s one of the things I really like about you!<3

Simon

Sorry for ghosting you today. My head was a mess.

Wille

Do you want to talk about it? I could call.

Simon

Can we just text? It’s sometimes easier to say stuff that way.

Wille

Sure, anything that you’re comfortable with, Simon.

Simon

So, this morning it just kind of hit me how hard it is to lie to everybody I know. I lie about who I’m texting, I lie about what I do in the weekends, I lie about going to Stockholm to see my boyfriend, I lie about how happy I am and I can’t talk about you or us or anything with anyone.

Simon

Ohh wow, it just hit me. You’re my boyfriend. You are my boyfriend, right?

Wille

I am! And also…. That’s part of the reason I have to talk to Mama. I don’t want to sneak around and hide you away.

Wille

I really like you and care about you, and I don’t want to hide that. At the same time, I’m not ready to do this whole coming out speech to all of Sweden. Like… Why do they even have to know who I like? It’s not like I’m going to be king one day.

Simon

I know it’s none of their business, but I guess many people see it as their right to know what’s going on in the royal family. Sorry about that.

Wille

Nothing for you to say sorry for

Simon

What do you think your mom would say about us? About you?

Wille

She will not be happy. I’m sure of that, but I talked a lot with Erik yesterday and he thinks I should just tell Mama and Papa before any tabloid snaps a picture of us or something.

Simon

OMG. Does that really happen?

Wille

Yes, it’s not like we pose for the camera when we just go out and about in our everyday life.

Simon

I did not think of that. How do you feel about that?

Wille

Not good, it doesn’t blend well with my anxiety. Quite the opposite. Sometimes it gets so bad that I can’t go out and just do stuff, so I just lock myself into my own room where I can be myself without anyone watching. Then I keep texting unknown numbers until I woo them.

Simon

And here I thought I was special…. But for real…

Wille

Go on.

Simon

Wille, love. You shouldn’t hide yourself from the world. You have so much to offer.

Wille

Sometimes it feels like you’re the only one who thinks that. 

Simon

Don’t say that. I’m sure Erik understands you too!

Wille

But it’s just so easy for Erik. He doesn’t have to hide who he is and who he likes. He is this perfect figurine and I’m like a second sorted plate with errors people are trying to accept but still don’t want.

Simon

Wille, stop that! You are perfect just the way you are and if people can’t see that then it is on their own fault. I see you, and I know you!

Wille

You really do. Did you know that? You are the person who knows most about me right now. It’s kind of scarry now that I think of it.

Simon

Well, I think it’s kind of scarry that I’m going to stay at Drottningholm.

Wille

Haha, nothing scarry about that. Just think of it as my house.

Simon

My house can fit into your hose like a million times, Wille. It’s scarry!

Simon

Now that we’re talking about your place… Is it okay if I stay for the night? The thought of a girl’s night with Felice and Sara is not that thrilling.

Wille

I’ll have to tell Erik, but I think we could manage. I look forward to that!

Simon

Me too, Wille <3

Would your parents know I’m there?

Wille

It depends on how our talk’s going. I plan on talking to Mama before Christmas eve. Just get it over with you know.

Simon

Okay, but what if they don’t want me to stay?

Wille

Then we don’t tell them that you’re there with me. They hadn’t got time for that much socializing with their kids in this time of the year anyways.

Simon

Wille, I’m sorry.

Wille

Just stop. Don’t want to talk about it.

Simon did stop and their text went on to other subjects. Like what Wille wished he could show Simon when he was in Stockholm. They both knew that they couldn’t walk around in the city, but they put quite a few things on their bucket list that they wanted to do one day. It was scarry how easy it was for Simon to picture the two of them walking the streets of the capital of Sweden hands intervened and smile on their faces.

If only reality was that easy. If only love consisted of smiles and laughter and bad jokes. If only love was light banter between two people in love, dopey smile, and sappy compliments, but it was not. He knew that and so did Wille. If it was love that they were already feeling for each other they were in for a ride. Simon remembered his mom telling them, when they were small, that love can make you feel like the luckiest person alive, but it can also hurt you so much more than anything else is able too. 

Chapter 6: Chapter six

Summary:

Wille’s upbringing was just so different from his own and it puzzled him, but also intrigued him a lot and he just wanted to know even more about the boy sitting across from him.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter six

The days leading up to Christmas break went by achingly slow. They went on break Friday the 21st but Wille had gone back to Stockholm 2 days prior to do the stupid choir thing which he clearly didn’t want to attend. Simon had seen pictures from the event. Wille looked polite at the camera, but the smile on his face was fake. It was not filled with laughter and joy as Simon was used to, but instead a heavy mask he wore to guard himself from praying eyes. That only made him miss Wille even more.

He built up all kinds of scenarios in his head of Wille sitting alone in a cold castle having nobody to relay on. If he was being reasonable, he knew he had Erik with him, but he wasn’t. He was a moody teenager who missed his boyfriend. They hadn’t managed to find a way nor time to see each other since that Saturday in Wille’s dorm and that was almost two weeks ago now.

Sure, they had been texting nonstop and sometimes they even called each other just to talk. Simon felt like he knew everything about Wille. Like how he only ate apples when they were cut out, or how he was concerned about his tomato plants back in Stockholm. They had had a long conversation filled with emotions, mostly from Willes side, talking about those stupid plants. Wille was concerned that the gardeners hired to take care of Drottningholm didn’t take probably care of his plants. Simon didn’t get much of what Wille was saying about soil and light and water and whatnot, but he listened to Wille and tried to calm him down enough to let the conversation go.

Simon had told Wille about his family in Venezuela and Spain and how he always kind of missed them even though they weren’t that close. He’d talk about Linda and how great a mother she was. He shared his hopes and dreams of a music career, dreams so big, he hadn’t shared them with any other person. Not even Sara or his Mama.

They had talked more about movies and music, and they had laughed and joked. All through the phone which for anybody else might seem childish and silly, but for the two of them it was just them. It was how they kept communicate and evolve together.

 

The 21st Ayub, Rosh and Simon went to the local pizzeria as their tradition prescribed and ate pizza, gossiped, and just fooled around.

“Simon come on; you’ve been so boring lately!” Rosh scold him. “Yeah man,” Ayub joined in. “You just walk around with your stupid phone all day. You are no fun any longer Simme.”

Simon sighed and looked at his friends. “It’s just…” He paused, not sure how much he could say to his two best friends. “Okay, so you know that I’ve been texting this boy, right?” Both of his friends shared a cringe look and the nodded. Simon went on. “We are kind of dating now. He goes to school at Hillerska but lives in Stockholm. I’m supposed to come visit him the 28th but ever since he left school, I haven’t heard that much from him. He had to go home early to do some Christmas stuff or something. And now it’s just like he’s forgotten about me completely.”

“Maybe he’s just spending time with his family.” Ayub tried.

“He doesn’t like his family, Ayub!” Simon snarled.

“Fuck him!” Rosh exclaimed. “If he hasn’t got time for you, then you shouldn’t date. And come on. How serious can it be when you’re only texting?”

“We are like… boyfriends. We’ve met twice, but it’s really hard to find a time and a place where we can meet without others looking at us.” Simon whispered. “He can’t just walk around like no one will notice him.”

“Why, what’s so special about him that he can’t walk around I Bjästad?” Rosh pushed.

Simon didn’t know how to answer that, so instead he busied himself with eating pizza, but Rosh just kept looking at him expecting an answer.

“I don’t know if it’s allowed to just leave the school or have visitors, but even if it were allowed people would recognize him and make this big fuzz about him going out. He doesn’t like that.” Simon tried to explain.

“Dude, who is he?” Ayub tried.

Simon just shook his head. He couldn’t tell them.

“If you can’ talk about what you do, it’s nothing good Simme!” Ayub told him once again and just in that moment Simons phone vibrated from a text. Simon’s smile lit up and his two best friends rolled their eyes at him.  Simon only smiled in return and hurried to unluck his phone.

Wille

Hey! Sorry I haven’t been able to text you that much. Things have been crazy here ever since I came out to mama and Papa.

Simon

Hey, you’re here. Or there. I don’t know. Haha. And also, WHAT tell me about it!

Simon almost dropped his phone when he looked at the incoming call. Wille it said.

“WTF is Wille?” Ayub wondered. Rosh pushed him in the side signaling for him to be quiet.

Simon picked up his phone, smiling like crazy.

“Hey” He whispered.

“Hey, can you talk?” Wille sounded tired.

“Yeah sure, but like. I’m at this pizzeria with Rosh and Ayub. Should we wait?”  

“No, it’s okay. I really miss you right now. It’s so good to hear your voice, Simon.”

“Yours too, Wille” Simon sighed and looked nervously at his two friends.

“So, I talked to Mama and Papa…” Wille paused, but Simon didn’t ease him on. This was something he had to tell in his own speed and with his own words.

“I told them that I have boyfriend. Basically, Erik and I talked with them during breakfast yesterday, and Erik was like. Mama Papa isn’t it great that both Wilhelm and I have a partner?”

Simon was confused. “Wait what? Your brother has a girlfriend?” 

“Yes, he does, and it’s getting like real serious with those two, like wedding bells serious. But back to our story, Simon. Mama and Papa were all like. Ohh yeah that is wonderful Erik, we really love Tindra she’s such a good girl. And Erik went on with saying a lot of sweet talking about Tindra and her education and her eyes and laugh and bla bla bla and then he casually said. And I shit you not. He said: I would really like her to meet Willes boyfriend one day. How cool would it be if they could use each other for support.”

Simon gasped. “OMG! He did not!”

Wille giggled. “He did! And Mama and Papa were just like uhmm, what did you say Erik? And then I tried to explain that I’m queer and that I’ve met you while being at Hillerska and Papa just nodded but Mama was like what are you talking about Wilhelm. You can’t just walk around meeting boys like that. It was like me being queer wasn’t the problem. Not at that point at least. But me actually meeting someone that I like or just being around others was a unforeseen problem.”

Simon nodded, but then remembered that Wille couldn’t see him so instead he asked. “Then what? What now?”

“Then...” Wille took a big gulp of air before he continued. “Then Mama went to the office to work and soon after Papa disappeared to.  It was just me and Erik left in the dining room, so we just chatted and thought that everything was fine, but it really wasn’t Simon.”

“WHAT? What happened Wille! Stop stalling.” Simon almost screamed into the phone. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Rosh whisper the words drama queen to Ayub, but he didn’t give a flying monkeys ass hat about that right now.

“In the afternoon I was called into Mama’s office, and it was all formal and stuff. She sat me down and explained to me that it would mean for me and for our family if I came out publicly. I guess I knew, but then again, I didn’t. Do you follow me?”

Simon stood up to pace around in the relatively empty pizzeria and said “No, I don’t follow you. I was the one who didn’t consider that paparazzi would follow you around I Stockholm.”

Ayub spit out some of his coke when hearing that and Rosh’s eyes almost popped out of her head.

In the phone Wille continued. “Okay so if I choose to come out it will be this big historical moment. Not just here in Sweden but in the whole world. I’ll be the first openly queer royalty and that is really scarry, Simon. I told Mama that I didn’t want to make a speech or do anything grand. I would just like to date you and take you out like I could do if you were a girl. There would still be press but it would be all like. The little prince finds first big love or something silly like that. Not Braking news! The youngest prince of Sweden is a part of the LGBTQ+ community. Is he dating a boy?”

“Isn’t that a bit dramatic, Wille?” Simon asked.

“No, it’s really not, love.” Wille continued. “I really want to be with you, and I want to be me. Not just pretend to be someone I’m not and I talked to Mama about that for a very long time trying to get her to see things from my perspective. She is not thrilled, she really isn’t, but she is still my Mama and she want’s me to be happy and to protect me. So, we both made some compromises.”

“Go on…” Simon was almost breathless from anticipation.

Wille took a deep breath and spoke. “I’m dating you. You are my boyfriend, no discussion there. You can’t come visit me at Hillerska like you did that weekend. Mama was not happy about that by the way. That is not becoming of me apparently. I can visit you, whenever I get permission from the school to leave the schools ground and Mama, or Papa always must know where I am if I do leave school grounds. There will be no scandals as Mama would word it. So, no heavy touching or kissing or anything out in public. And you have to understand, Simon, that if we do this. If we just want to be a normal couple, the press is going to turn their attention towards you and your family as well. It can potentially become very intense, and I know how I feel about the press and them invading my privacy. I really don’t want the same thing to happened to you or your family.”

Simon felt like he could fly. He was bubbling with excitement and happiness and love, and he felt like dancing on the tables. “Is this for real Wille? Is this really happening? What about the 28th?”

“It turns out, that Mama and Papa are not home that day so there is that. I said you were to visit Stockholm and that we might meet up. They are somewhat okay with that, I guess.”

“Okay.” Simon chimed. “I can’t believe this Wille. I’m so happy right now. You were so afraid of her reaction and look at you now! This is amazing. You have no idea. You just make me so happy!”

“You make me happy too!” Wille replied with a shy tone to his voice. “I have to go Simon; we have to welcome family in a little while and take official pictures and stuff. I just thought that I owed you to know what’s going on right now, and it was easier to call than to text.” 

“It’s okay, Wille. Go do all your princely shit. I’ll just eat my pizza then.” Simon joked.

As soon as the boys had said their goodbyes and returned to their table, Simon knew he’d screwed up. Rosh’s moth was hanging open, ready to catch flies and Ayub just looked numb at him. Simon swallowed twice. His mouth suddenly extremely dry.

“Princely shit! Princely shit!” Rosh whispered angrily. “What have you gotten yourself into, Simon!”

Ayub joined her in a low whisper. “Yeah. WTF, Simme. I know for at fact that prince Wilhelm is attending Hillerska right now and that he lives I Stockholm. Is that really the guy?”

“Everybody knows the prince is at Hillerska, they made a special report about it in the news, Ayub” Simon deadpanned.

“You don’t even like the monarchy dumbass!” Rosh continued in a low voice.

“I like Wille.” Simon tried. “I really, really like him, guys. Like so, much!”

“Are you hearing this, Ayub or have I gone mental?” Simon looked at Rosh. Was she angry?

“Ayub! Say something” She continued.

Ayub looked at Simon. Really looked and Simon could only guess what he saw. He hoped that his friend had listened enough to his rant about the mysterious boy that he would be a bit more chill than Rosh was.

What he finally said was “Does he really like gardening?”

Simon smiled. “He does. He has a real soft spot for tomato plants. And he really likes harry Potter and History and he doesn’t know how to bake cookies even though he has to make them every year for some tv show or something, and he is just so, so sweet and considerable. Okay?” The last question was pointed at Rosh who didn’t look convinced that this was something good.

“Is it him that you have to visit in Stockholm?” was all she asked. Simon nodded and that was that. Conversation done. New topic ahead. The new topic turned out to be their strategy for winning Trivial Pursuit this Christmas. They were truly bad at that game even though they always played tree against two. Simon, Rosh and Ayub against Linda and Sara. This year they made a bulletproof plan. They stayed all evening at the pizzeria and google all kinds of random facts that they thought would be useful in the game.

 

It turned out that they couldn’t win Trivial Pursuit no matter how much they planned and strategized after all. All the facts they had googled were happily forgotten when the time came for the game and they discussed more than they actually came up with answers. But to be fair, Linda was a smart woman and Sara remembered all kinds of random facts because of her ADHD. Life was just not fair that way.

Christmas Eve went smoothly without too much trouble. Simon got a new pair of pants from his mother and a gift card to iTunes from Sara. Not much, but that was what he was used to being somewhat excluded from the rest of their family. That evening when Simon was lying in bed, he checked his phone to see if Wille had texted him. He had not had that much time for texting between being social with his family and doing all sorts of strange official stuff that he couldn’t get out of.

Simon

Hey Wille, Merry Christmas! Hope your evening went well without too much drama and all that.

 

Wille

Merry Christmas, Simon. The evening was okay. Better than expected at least. I got a new scarf from Mama and Papa. What about you?

Simon

You got a scarf? What’s wrong with the one you already got?

Wille

It’s from last Christmas. They always give me a new scarf.

Simon

What about when you were a child?

Wille

When I was a child I got toys just like every other child, Simon. Don’t be an ass…

Simon

You like my ass though….

Wille

Stop, just stop yourself before you say something you regret.

Simon

Sorry, didn’t think that one through.

Wille

What did you get for Christmas?

Simon

A pair of pants from Mama and a gift card for iTunes from Sara.

Wille

Cool. Erik’s gotten me a new back for school. One of those straddle bags in leather. Really nice actually.

Simon

Cool

Wille

Yeah, so uhm…. I miss you.

Simon

I miss you too, Wille.

Wille

 Three more days.

Simon

Three more days and then I’m in Stockholm with you <3

 

The morning of the 28th the Eriksson family left way too early to any’s liking, but with two hours’ drive ahead they needed to get going. Linda had an afternoon shift that day, so it was a wonder that she even drove them all the way to the middle of Stockholm. Lindingö to me more exact. Once there Simon had to take the subway for almost 1 and a half hour to get to the other side of Stockholm where Drottningholm Palace was. Once he was there, he should text Wille and then go for a walk in the park. Easy. Nothing could go wrong with that. Except Simon had never been alone in Stockholm before and he didn’t really know his way around. But as it turned out. Taking the Subway was not as different from riding the bus.

Sara and Felice had made fun of him for hurrying so much away from Felice’s house the moment they couldn’t see Linda’s car, but he didn’t care. He was so close to Wille now and that was all that matters.

Drottningholm Castle was a beauty. Big and regal and so beautiful in the dim, Swedish winter light. As Simon walked around in the park wondering what to do next, he couldn’t help feeling nervous about going on to that place. He could for the love of everything that was good not imagine growing up in that castle like this. It was just so big and too much.

As he walked around in then park, he saw two silhouettes walking towards him flanked by two people in dark clothing. It didn’t take long to see who one of the people were. There, walking casual towards him, like this was something he did every day, was Wille.  His beautiful Wille. Simon smiled and walked towards the small party.

“Hey” Wille said shyly when they were close enough to speak undisturbed to each other. He didn’t reach out for Simon or gestured for him to take his hand or anything. Just smiled a shy little smile.

“Hey you.” Simon replied and looked nervous around to see if anyone was watching them. The park not empty. Here and there, there were other people taking a stroll and enjoying the winter weather.

Wille cleared his throat and said “This is Erik my brother. Erik this is Simon.” Simon waved at Erik and quickly blushed thinking that he must look so stupid standing in the middle of this big park waving at the crown prince.

Erik let a little laugh escape and ushed the two boys back towards the castle. “Come on boys, let’s get you inside. It’s nice to meet you, Simon. Wille will not shut up about you!”

“Hey, not true Erik!” Wille defended himself. Simon just smiled to himself while looking down not knowing what to say.

They walked around a corner of the castle and Erik, who was walking a bit in front of the two boys, let them to a heavy wooden door. There were a civile looking guard standing guard in front of the door, but without question he opened it to let all 5 of them inside the palace. Once inside Erik excused himself saying something with work and he and the two bodyguards walked away leaving Simon and Wille alone in the entry to, what Simon assumed, was the royal family’s private part of the castle.

“How are you?” Wille asked, still sounding all shy.

“Tired, happy. You?” Simon asked in return.

“I’m okay. Let’s go to my room. I can show you around later if you like.” Wille took Simon’s hand and led him through corridors and rooms so excusive and expensive looking that Simon barely dared to breath.

“The palace was built with inspiration from this French architect called Nicodemus and it dates back to the 1600’s. It was built after the first castle burned down to the ground. But of course, it has been rebuilt and restoration have been made throughout the years. The first Monarch to live here was Hedvig Eleonora and then some 100 years later Lovisa Ulrika lived here. She modernized some of the castle which can be seen in the green room. It has green panels all over so…” Wille trailed off when Simon grabbed his arm and stopped him from walking.

“Wille,” Simon begun with a slight smile on his lips. “I don’t care about who lived here and what colors the rooms are. So please just show me your room so I can hug you.”

Wille smiled, stroking Simon cheek. “You can hug me here if you like?”

“Is that allowed?” Simon sounded destressed. “I mean. I don’t know what rules you have and such.”

Wille just pulled Simon into his arms in a tight embrace, kissing his temples. “This is allowed. This is always allowed. I’ll make sure of that!” He sounded so sure about that, and it made Simon so proud of this boy who struggled with so many things. But showing his feelings for Simon was not one of the problems. Simon nuzzled his nose into the crock of Wilhelm’s shoulder and inhaled his scent. He’d missed it more than he knew. For a while they just stood there in the middle of a room and hugged each other, and it was simply put everything. When they parted Simon quickly pecked Willes lips and smiled at his boyfriend before taking his hand and walking him the last short way towards the youngest prince’s room.

As they walked the rest of the way to Wille’s room, the prince couldn’t hold back, and he just had to share some more facts about the palace, letting his fondness of history shine through. “Lovisa Ulrika really did a lot of cool things to this place. Like she redid a lot of room and modernized it. I especially love her library. I’ll show you at another time. It’s in the public area. Ohh, we’re here!” He paused and pushed a big door open that let them into a big bright room.

“So,” Wille was back to being shy. “This is my room.”

Simon looked around taking everything in. He didn’t know what he had imagined, but it wasn’t this. The room in itself was not hugely big, but it was extravagant to say the least. The walls were covered with wallpaper in a creamy, greenish, golden color and panels painted white with golden details. In the middle of the room was a big bed held in the same cream colors as the walls. The bed was nicely made. Over the bed hung a big red abstract painting making the room look somewhat modern. Opposite the bed was a writing desk matching the bed and just beside the desk stood a big tv screen on a dresser. The wall adjacent the windows held two big white doors with gold details. One of the doors was slightly open revealing a small walk-in closet. The wooden floor was decorated with a soft white rug, but there were not many personal things to see in the room.

“It’s very….. clean?” Simon said. It came out as a question and Wille laughed at him before saying. “I’m not that much into decoration.”

“I can see that. This is just as unpersonal as your room at Hillerska, Wille” Simon mocked. 

“I just don’t like sharing personal stuff with others and there are cleaning staff here every other day. I don’t want them to see all my memories and thoughts.” The prince tried to explain.

Simon hugged Wille before saying. “You are the sweetest guy I know, but I swear that sometimes you just don’t make sense to me. Why would pictures and some decorating reveal your private thoughts?”

“Sorry?” Wille said almost like a question. “ Mama and Papa always taught us that all things private should be between us. The family.”

Simon pulled away from the hug just enough so he could look at Wille, smile at him and then he went in for a kiss. It was a sweet and innocent kiss, but it was everything he needed right now after being away from his boyfriend for what felt like an eternity.

Wille had other plans though, and soon the kiss intensified, and Simon was pulled towards the big bed where they both tumbled down when they reached it. 

Simon, laying on top of Wille, giggled and asked. “Did you miss me that much huh?” Wille smiled at him and said, without any hesitation. “More that you would ever know, Simon!” And then their lips were crashed together again. Hands wandering and touching each other’s arms, faces and hair. There was a sense of desperation to the touches, like neither of the boys really believed what was happening. Simon’s hand roamed Willes skin just beneath his hoodie and he felt ignited with want and lust.

“This, okay?” He asked in between kisses and while stroking a hand up and down Wille’s side and ribs. Wille nodded frantically and started finding his way to Simon’s back. Pushing his hands up under Simon’s hoodie it was his turn to ask. “And this?” “Yes” Simon simply replied too occupied with kissing and touching his boyfriend to say anything more.

After a whole both hoodies were on the floor together with Simon’s t-shirt and their hands had free range to roam each other’s bodies. Everything was a bit hesitant at first, but later, as they grew more assure of wheat the other was okay with, kisses were spread all over their chests, necks arms and hands. Neither of them went below the belt. Wille probably too scared of making Simon uncomfortable again and Simon just didn’t know how far was enough right now or how to ask for more. So they both settle for this, although they both wanted more at that moment.

If Simon had to describe how it was to kiss Wille, he would be at a loss of words. He didn’t know if it was because their relationship was so new and young that it felt like the best thing in the world, or if it would feel like this every time they made out in the future. He really hoped it would continue feeling this amazing to be with Wille.

He thought of all that while pretending to watch a movie together with Wille. The prince was laid between Simon’s leg, resting his back up against Simon’s bare chest. Simon was holding his boyfriend safe an secure in his arms, occasionally kissing the top of his head. He really liked this. Being here with Wille with nothing to interrupt them.

As Simon laced their fingers together, he asked Wille “Do you believe in marriage?”

Wille froze and looked up at Simon with a puzzled look in his brown eyes. “Why?” He asked with a small voice.

“I just had a thought.” Simon continues. “Like, some people only se marriage as a constitutional constellation that is a blast from the past. You get where I’m going?”

“I don’t think so” Wille answered honestly. “Explain it to me. I want to understand what you’re saying.”

Simon gathered his thoughts for a moment and then began to speak once more. “It’s like. For a long time, marriage have been something that united families and made sure everybody got something out of it. Money, security for the future, house over their heads and whatnot. Then it became this romantic thing were you have to marry someone you love or like or whatever.” At that Wille chuckled a little. Simon let him before continuing. “ And then all of a sudden people were like, hey let the queer community get the same rights as everybody else so nobody will hate us. And the queer community have that right now in so many places, but there are also so, so many places where they don’t have that right, you know. And then I’m like. Why should I get married if it’s something that is decided by other people. Why should it even be something you have to fight for to have? It you want to spend your life with one person for the rest of your life just do that.” Simon went silent and Wille only sat with him in the bed for a little while, taking in all what he had said. After some time, he finally said. “I’ve never given much thought to that, Simon. It’s always just been one of those things everybody expects me to just do without questioning it. Either I marry a girl, or I don’t. There are people in my family that never married, you know. I really like the thought of Marriage, the security of it.”

“But you can find security in your own way or have paperwork made to secure your partner and family. I really don’t see the meaning of a church wedding and all that just because society thinks it’s the thing to do.” Simon protested.

“I kind of see where you are going with that, but I don’t think I agree.” Wille sighed. “Either way. If I ever get married the wedding needs to be held in a church. That would be expected of me. I can’t choose that like you can.”

“Why not?” Simon pushed Wille up in a sitting position so they could look at each other.

Wille looked down and continued to explain himself in a small voice. “I need to be a protestant. That’s the state religion here in Sweden and as long as I’m a prince I can’t deselect that. As a protestant and a member of the royal family I need to have a church weeding in order to solidify that I am in fact a protestant. If I were not to have a wedding in a church that might be perceived as me trying to make a political standing, and I’m not allowed to do that. I cannot voice my own opinion on political matters, Simon. That’s the number one rule every single on in my family have to follow.”

Simon looked at Wille. Really looked at him. He looked so regretful and small, sitting there on the bed trying to explain how his world worked. Simon felt like argue against Wille. Tell him that nobody could tell him what to think, feel or say, but he knew Wille was right. It was common knowledge that the royal family were not to state a political stand. So, what did it matter what Simon thought. Wille’s upbringing was just so different from his own and it puzzled him, but also intrigued him a lot and he just wanted to know even more about the boy sitting across from him.  

At that moment there was a knock on the door and Erik’s voice could be heard. “Wille, Simon. Do you want to get lunch together or are you otherwise engaged?”

Wille sent Simon a panicked look but shouted to his brother non then less. “Erik stop it! We’ll be out in a second.” To Simon he added. “I hope it’s okay that we eat with Erik? I think he got plans tonight so he will be gone in a little while.”

Simon sent him a smile, while already trying to locate his hoodie. “It’s okay Wille. Of course, I want to get to know your brother. He is important to you.”

With goofy smiles om their lips they walked out to the kitchen, hoodies on, and was met by Erik and a light lunch that was put out for them on the small kitchen island.

“I would have thought your kitchen were bigger than this.” Simon wondered out loud while seating himself in one of the four chairs at the dinning table. “This is only for us when we are alone in private. There is a big industrial kitchen somewhere else.” Wilhelm just stated like it was the most normal thing to have.

“Sure. Yeah didn’t think of that” Simon mumbled under his breath. The room fell silent as they helped themselves to the food. It was Erik who saved them all by starting some polite small talk.

“So Simon, tell me more about yourself, if you don’t mind.” The crown prince shot him a polite smile.

Simon swallowed his food, thought for a minute, and then started telling stuff about himself. “Well, I’m from Bjärsted, lived my whole life. Mama is from Venezuela though so I speak both Swedish and Spanish. Mostly Spanish at home when we haven’t got guest.” He took a sip of water before he continued. “I have a sister who’s in the same year as Wille at Hillerska and uhmm, yeah. I really like to sing and make music.”

At this Wille joined in on the conversation. “He wants to study music here in Stockholm after graduating. Isn’t that the coolest thing ever!”

Erik smiled at his younger brother who was surely smitten by the curly hair boy. “It is cool, Wille. Did you know Simon, that Wilhelm here plays the piano to perfection?”

Simon’s mouth fell open. “Shut up! You haven’t told me that!” He looked amazed at his boyfriend who was blushing and apparently had a very big interest in the food on his plate. “It never came up.” Was what Wille finally let out in a mumble.

“What are you even talking about? How longe havn’t I used on explaining how much I like music and singing and preforming and you never once thought to yourself hey, maybe I should tell my boyfriend that I play music too! That’s just stupid, Wille.”

There were a faint chuckle from Erik, but Simon ignored it in favor of looking at his boyfriend.

“I didn’t want to, like, take your thing or whatever. Music is just so you! And if I started to brag about me playing piano, which I haven’t tried for a very long time by the way, I was afraid of taking your thing and making it into my thing I guess.” Wille trailed of biting in is bottom lip nervously.

“Wille” Simon just sighed and took his hand.

“You are really dumb sometimes, you know that!” Erik chimed in sending Wille a mischief smile. Wille send him a glare in return and squeezed Simons hand a bit harder.

“What about your dad?” Erik continued focusing his attention back on Simon.

Simon stiffened in his seat and quickly said. “There is no dad. Not anymore. Sara and I haven’t got contact to him anymore.” 

“Okay, sorry” Erik replied quickly and smoothly switching topic explaining that he had plans with some friends of his that evening at that he would be back tomorrow afternoon before the Queen and Queen Consort would arrive home again.

Wille didn’t say much, just held Simon’s hand and ate his lunch like this was a everyday thing. Simon on the other hand were a bit more nervous trying to keep up a conversation with Erik without making a fool of himself.

When they had eaten and the two boys were about to leave, Erik cleared his throat and asked in a very formal voice. “So, Simon. What are your intentions with my dearest brother here?” Simon was out of words. He didn’t know what to answer because he didn’t know himself. He knew that he liked Wille a lot, but his intentions? They were only 16, were liking each other and making each other happy not enough?

To everybody’s surprise it was Wille who spoke up. “What are your intentions with Tendra tonight?” Erik was quick to snap back at his brother. “My intentions are none of your business, brother! Why would you even…” He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Wille spoke again. “Then Simon’s intentions are none of your business, right? Come on, let’s go back to my room, Simon.”  

Simon was dragged after Wille as they left the kitchen leaving Erik standing astonished. When did his brother become kind of sassy?

 

That evening they decided on ordering Chinese takeout. They ate in the small kitchen enjoying each other company and the conversations they had.

“I really had a great day today!” Wille confessed.

“Why” Simon wanted him to elaborate. “We didn’t do much. Watched movies, went for a walk in the park, made out. Nothing to special.” He tried to sound casual like this was everyday stuff to them.

“Well, to start with. I spent my day with you, which is always good. And I’ve never had such a pleasant walk in the park as I had today. Must be the weather that did it.” Wille joked.

Simon thew a spring roll at Wille. “Shut up dork! I’m sure the weather was the best thing about that walk.”

It hadn’t been the weather that was the best thing about the walk. It had been the discreet hand holding, the kissing behind trees, goofing around and being in a bliss of happiness. They had deemed it private enough that they had dared all these things without thinking anybody would notice them. Just the two of them being normal teens in love.

As they cleaned the kitchen after eating, Wille snug up behind Simon wrapping his arms around his waist. “Thanks for coming to visit me. I know it wasn’t easy for you to do so.” Wille leaned his head on Simon’s shoulder.

“It was your idea” Simon started but stopped once he could feel lips on his neck. Just barely there but without a doubt still there. “Wille.” Simon sighed.

“Mmmhh,” was Willes responds. “What do you want, Simon?” he tightened his arms around the other boys waist while nuzzling his head in between the crook of Simons neck and shoulder.

Simon shuttered suddenly feeling very much attuned to every touch and every movement Wille made.

“Wille,” he started. “Wille, I think…” He trailed off, trying to make sense off these thoughts but it was hard to decipher what he really wanted at what his body wanted. “Wille, you, I want you.” He whispered at last turning around to kiss his boyfriend like his life depended on it. Wille gladly accepted the kiss, hands finding their way up to Simons long curly hair.

“Come.” Wille breaths when they are finally pulling away for air. He took Simon’s hair and hurriedly lead him towards his room where, inside, he locked the door before he went for Simon’s mouth again.

They stood in the middle of the room, kissing, touching, savoring that moment to memory. Simons hands were fiddling with hem of Willes hoodie, but he wasn’t sure what was allowed and what was not. But apparently Wille was impatient, and he stopped kissing Simon with a grunt. “Just take it off already, will you!” The prince sounded impatient and slightly out of breath, but he  got lost of his hoodie right there in front of Simon like it was nothing. Then he pointedly looked at Simon and said, “your turn, love.”

Simon blushed and fumbled with his purple hoodie, but somehow got it off without embarrassing himself too much. As soon as his hoodie hit the floor, Wille all but man handled him to the bed and laid him in the middle of it. With much more care, he placed himself on top of Simon, kissing his forehead and both cheeks before whispering. “You are so pretty, Simon. So, so very pretty.” And then he went in to place a featherlight kiss on his lips before kissing his way down Simon’s neck, shoulders and further down to his body.

“Wille” Simon was in a loss of words, devoured in the ecstatic feeling of Wille kissing him.

“This okay?” Wille asked when kissing Simon’s stomach. Said boy nodded franticly, weaving his hands into the golden hair of the prince. “Please” Simon then whispered. He didn’t know what he was asking for, but he needed more and he wanted is as well. He was so hard, it was unbearable, but he would not comment on that. Wille must have known either way. He was laying on top of Simon after all.

“Can I?” Wille haltered looking up at Simon starring him directly in the eyes while his hand was pause over Simon’s pants near the zipper.

Simon swallowed and the said a very breathless “Yes.”

Wille went up to Simon’s face and kissed him breathless while very carefully opened the zipper of Simon’s pants. Carefully Wille tried to slide down the pants to get them fully off, but he had to break the kiss to succeed that mission. Simon chuckled at him. “Smooth, Wille.”

Wille, who was sitting on top of Simon smiling like a maniac replied with a rapid. “Shut up!” before unzipping his own pants and discarding them to the floor as well.

Simon reached out for Wille, willing him to come down on the bed again, and kissed him with all he had. They weren’t in I hurry by any means. They had the whole evening and night together. Just the two of them without any disruptions, so they took their time. Kissing, touching, whispering sweet praises to each other. Hands went further down as they turned more comfortable but also daring with each other and Simon couldn’t help but his in surprise, when Wille’s hand found its way to his cock, stroking it slowly and uncertain. Their eyes locked and Simon nodded a confirmation to his boyfriend.

 

Sometime after when they lay boneless and content in Wille’s bed, Simon was sure, Wille was asleep, but he couldn’t find peace in his head. “Wille” he whispered in the dark, expecting no answer in return.

Wille let out a small sound and pulled Simon closer by his side, to show that he was listening.

“My dad…” Simon paused not sure if this was the right time to talk about such serious matters, but he needed to share this with Wille because Wille was everything to him.

Wille turned around so he could look at Simon, but Simon nuzzled his head in under Willes chin se they couldn’t look at each other.

“He was, is probably still, an addict. When we were kids, he started drinking. He got fired from his job, and Mama had to support us. I don’t know much about that, Mama didn’t tell us much, but I remember how we would come home from school and find him passed out in the couch reeking of beer and cigarettes. It was disgusting!” Willes kissed Simon’s hair as a sign of comfort.

“At some point he started doing drugs too. Like prescription drugs. Sara is on the spectrum, so he sometimes took her medication which resulted in her having terrible days in school when she ran out of medication way too early. It was all just so bad, Wille. I stayed a lot at Ayub’s house at that time. But.. I don’t know where Sara went. There were so much yelling and fighting at home. Mama tried to get our dad to sober up and pull himself together, but I guess it never worked.”

“Simon, I’m so sorry” Wille whispered gently into the dark rook. Simon shrugged his shoulders like it didn’t matter.

“It’s over now. They got a divorce last year. Mama got the house and us and Sara moved school. Away from all her bullies. We haven’t seen our dad since he moved out. Or got kicked out of all three of us.” Simon then lifted his head and kissed Wille gently. “I just thought that you should know.” He then finished his monologue.

Wille smiled a sad smile. “Thanks for telling me this, Simon.”

And that was that. They fell asleep in each other’s arms and slept through numerous of incoming texts, calls and notifications on both phones.

Notes:

I do not like to write too sassy scenes between these two boys because they are two 16-year-olds trying to figure out how all of this physical stuff works. I’m by no means 16 any longer, but I remember being 16)or a bit younger) and not quite sure of what I was doing but still felling so, so much, and I really would like to portray that here in this fic.
Also, I had to google public transport in Sweden and in Stockholm because I know nothing about it. I don’t even know how to ride a bus here in Denmark so… I just drive or ride my bike when I need to go somewhere.

Chapter 7: Chapter seven

Notes:

Hello!
I hope everyone had a nice weekend. I for sure had even though I had to work. But when you actually like your work and colleagues it is no bother to work in the weekend!
This chapter is slightly shorter than most of the others, but it felt fitting to stop here and start on a new chapter. So, I did that. Weeee.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter seven

Sunday morning

Mama

SIMON PICK UP YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW!

Sara

Simon, please call Mama. She’s flipping out. She’s on her way to pick us up.

Mama

PO QUÉ SIMON!? COMO!!!

Mama

I’ll be in Stockholm in 2 hours, and you better have told me by then where to pick you up!

Mama

Simon answers your phone.

 

Simon stared at his phone is shock. What was going on? He had 12 missed calls, most of them from his Mama and Sara and then a bunch of texts and notifications. What was happening?

Wille had gone to the bathroom to relieve himself when they woke up that morning and Simon had grabbed his change to check his phone. Something he wished he hadn’t done now.

Ayub

https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.XufKrviKF8dbYwFGPFeBCAAAAA?pid=ImgDet&rs=1

WTF bro! Everybody is freaking out here. Your mom went by my house to question me about where you are!

Simon and Wille kissing in forest

After reading Ayyub’s text, Simon clicked on the link and then his world froze. On his phone was a picture of him. Not just him, but him and Wille kissing. In the park. Wearing the clothe they wore yesterday. The picture was taken yesterday was his only thought. At that moment Wille entered the room again smiling happily at Simon. The smile soon haltered when the prince saw the horrified look plastered on Simon’s face.

“What’s the matter, Simon?” Wille asked nervously. Simon looked up at Wille and showed him his phone.

“Fuck!” Was all Wille said before hurling through the clothes spread all over the floor. Soon enough he located his pants and found his own phone.

“Fuck,” he yelled again a little louder. Simon flinched. “Shit, shit, shit. I’m so sorry, Simon. I should have known. I, I…” He dropped down on the bed sitting next to Simon. “I’m so sorry!” He whispered. Simon put his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes. How could this be his life. How on earth had this happened to him. Who had taken that picture? He thought that they had been so careful, but had they really been that? He remembered them being happy and silly and fooling around stealing kisses from one another. He couldn’t really remember how many people that had been in the park that afternoon. Did Wille know they were being watched by others?

Simon looked at his boyfriend. No, he concluded. Wille was just as upset about this as Simon were. He was biting his thump, typing frantically away on his phone.

With a small voice Simon said, “I have to call Mama. She is freaking out. She’s on her way to pick us up.”

Wille looked up from his phone. “Us?” He asked questionable. “Sara and me. She’ll be here in a couple of hours.” Simon explained with a defeated look.

Wille nodded. “I must call Mama too. The PR department is already working on damage control, but she wishes to speak with me as soon as possible.”

“Okay, should I leave the room or?” Simon said in a sad voice.

“Please stay.” Wille pleaded with a small voice. “I don’t think I can be alone right now.” He was breathing faster then normal, eyes darting around the room but nor quite looking at anything.

The two boys laid themselves down on the bed, limps intertwined, holding each other. “You first?” Wille suggested so Simon found his mother’s contact and hit the call button.

“¿Simon, qué estás hacienda?! ¿Dónde Estás?” Wille could hear Linda loud and clear through Simon’s phone, but he didn’t understand what was being said.

“Mama, Mama. Fácil lo hace.” Simon replied in his perfect Spanish.

Linda continued in Spanish. “Do not tell me to relax! What did you even think! Simon, you know you can tell me everything. I thought I made that clear. And now you’re somewhere in Stockholm without a single soul knowing where and I find out by seeing you in a post on Instagram! My colleague asked me if that was my son.”

Instagram. The picture came from Instagram. Simon closed his eyes. “Mama, I’m with Wille. Please just.. I couldn’t say anything okay. We didn’t want to say anything because…”

Linda interrupted him, “You need to say when you are going places I don’t know and who you’re with! I trusted you to spend some days in Stockholm by yourself and you broke my trust by going somewhere else, Simon! Do you understand that!”

“Technically I’m still in Stockholm, Mama. At Drottningholm.” Simon tried, but his answer was not well received.

“Do not speak to me like that! Text me the address. I will come pick you up once I picked up Sara. Then we will have a long talk about trust, honesty and how to behave! Do you understand me?”

Simon sighed. “Yes Mama.” 

She hung up on him without another word. Simon gulped. Linda was really mad at him, and he hated when his Mama was mad. It was the worst.

“What’s the address, Wille?” Simon asked quietly. “Mama’s going to pick me and Sara up and then we are headed home. She is so mad I didn’t tell her where I went.” Wille kissed Simon’s head. It was a small gesture that Wille tended to do, Simon had noticed, and he was getting quite fond of it. It felt nice and safe.

“Hand me your phone. I’ll explain how to get here. We need to give the guards her license plate so they can identify her.” Wille explained. “She can pick you up from our private driveway.”

Simon only nodded, placing his head on Willes chest. His boyfriend’s heart was beating so fast revealing just how upset and anxious he was, but Willes outer demeanor was calm and measured. Simon wondered how many times stuff like this had happed to Wille before, for him to act so seemingly calm.

Simon didn’t really read that much gossip. He knew Wille had been in some sort of fight in the fall and that there were both pictures and videos of that. But had he had other private or somewhat personal moments leaked? Simon could only hope, but deep down in his gut he knew, that there was a reason for the way Wille guarded his privacy so fiercely.

He could feel Wille laying Simon’s phone on the bed, fidgeting with his own now.

“I need to call Mama.” Wille said with a sad voice. “I can’t stall that call any longer.”

Simon nodded. “I’m right here, okay.” He whispered into Wille’s chest.

Wille dialed his mother.

“Hey Mama.” His voice was low and measured as he greeted his mother. Simon couldn’t hear what the Queen said through the phone. He could only hear Willes half of the conversation, but he could easily imagine what the Queen was saying. Willes heart was racing like there were no tomorrow so Simon started to rub his chest carefully, willing Wille to relax a little.

“No, I’m not okay.” Wille put his hand in Simon’s lang hair and added, “we’re not okay.” There was a short pause. “Yes, Mama. Simon is still here. He’s going home later today.” Another pause and then a vivid answer from Wille. “If we are going to talk about damage control I will put you on speaker. Simon should know this stuff too. He is as much a part of this as me.”

Without any other word exchange Wille put his phone on speaker. “Okay, you’re on speaker now, Mama.”

“Good. Hello Simon.” The Queen’s voice were heard through the speaker. She sounded tired and sad.

“uhmm, hello your Majesty. “ Simon mumbled not really feeling up for talking. Luckily the Queen took the lead on the conversation. “I’m sorry that it is under these circumstances that we have to meet, Simon, but the cards have been laid out for us, and now we need to play them right.” There was a slight pause before she continued. “Wilhelm, you mustn’t under any circumstances talk to any press about this picture or the story that they are trying to build. You must not go and write careless stuff on the internet. We can’t control the outcome of that. The same goes for you Simon. We never comment on pictures and stories brought in the tabloids and we will not start now. This fall was an exception because we needed to make some distance from the rumors swirling around you, Wilhelm, and to make clear that we do not condemn violent actions.” Another pause.

“The best thing would be to claim that it isn’t you…”

“No!” Wille exclaimed at the same time as Simon was saying, “What?!”

The Queen sighed. “Hear me out boys. It is clear to see that it is Wilhelm in that picture and I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before someone will leak Simon’s name. So, We can’t deny it but only be silence until the fuss has calmed down a bit.

“Okay…” Wille said it as a question.

“Wilhelm.” The Queen’s voice became soft. I can not decide for you who to love, but you two got to be more careful in the future if this isn’t going to happened again. Do you understand me?”

“Yes Mama.” Wille was crying buy now. Silent tears dripping down his cheeks and chin and onto Simon’s head.

“Wilhelm. It is going to be okay at some point.” The Queen tried to consul her son. “I know, this wasn’t the way you would have liked this to go. Neither your relationship with Simon nor your coming out. I’m so sorry this was done to you. But you must be strong now and live with the consequences of your carefree behavior.”

“I’m only 16!” Wille whined.

“But you are a prince. You are a representative of this country, and you will live up to the expectations we have regarding your role in our family” the Queen said in a very calm voice.

“I know Mama. Sorry.” Wille hulked into the room.

Simon could feel damp teas on his own cheeks now. It was clear that the Queen cared for her son, but she had to fulfill the role as a Queen at the same time. At that moment Simon was glad that he only had a mad Venezuelan mom waiting for him, and not the Queen and all that came with having her as a mother.

 

After the call ended both boys just laid in bed for a while saying nothing because what was there to say? Wille had been outed, Simon had a mother who was really mad and disappointed in him, Wille was once again reminded of the expectations there were for him, and they had been exposed to the press way too early in their relationship and Simon got the feeling that this was only the start.

“I need a shower before going home.” Simon said in a low voice.

“Yeah, sure. Okay.” Wille mumbled. “I’ll show you where it is.”

He pulled Simon up from the bed and hand in hand they walked down the hallway to find the bathroom.

The bathroom was spacious and modern and nothing like Simon had expected it to be. It was filled with green plants that gave Simon the vibes of a rainforest.

“Why all the plants?” Simon wondered.

“Because it’s my bathroom. I like plants. When I went to Hillerska I gathered all my plants here so it would be easier for the staff to take care of them. Before I had a lot of them in my room too, but I was afraid they wouldn’t get the right care if I left them scattered all over the palace.” Wille explained.

Simon smiled and pecked Willes cheek. “Why does it not even surprise me?” He laughed. “You should take some of them with you to Hillerska! It would look good in your room.”

Wille blushed and quickly made a move to leave the bathroom, but Simon grabbed his hand and asked, now all serious. “Please stay?”

Wille looked at him, smiled and then gave a small nod, closing and lucking the door behind them while Simon turned on the water to let it have time to get warm. Then they looked at each other, not sure what to do now. It was only when Simon reached up to kiss Wille that everything seemed to go without a care in the world again. They just fit so well together.

The room soon became damp from the water that was already well warm, but Simon kept kissing Wille. Neither of them were wearing much clothing, their bodies pressed close together like their survival depended of them being as close as possible.

“Please” Wille whispered. “Please, Simon.”

Simon pulled away from the kiss a bit and caressed Wille’s cheek before sliding his hands down the waistband of Willes pants only pausing a quick moment to be sure that what he did was okay. With a small smile he pulled down Wille’s sweatpants in a swift motion and then carefully placed his fingers round the waistband of Wille’s boxers. The only piece of clothing that were left on Wille.

Once more Wille nodded his permission and Simon slit down said boxers in a much slower and hesitant motion. He took in the sight of his boyfriend wondering how on earth he had become so lucky? They shared some more sloppy kisses and then Wille’s hands were on Simons hips now, pulling down slowly in the elastic band of Simon’s briefs.  Simon’s hands joined Willes and together they got rid the briefs and then they stood there. Just looking at each other all shy and bashful.

“Beautiful.” Wille finally muttered and took Simon’s hand to lead him into the shower.

It was the best shower Simon had ever had.

 

After the shower and after getting dressed, the boys headed for the kitchen to grab a light breakfast. As they sat in silence eating their cereal Simon dared to look at his phone again.

“Ohh, shit. It’s blowing up with notifications.” Simon sighed. “What kind of notifications?” Wille asked curiously.

“Like followers on Insta,” Simon answered with his mouth full of cereal. Wille looked at Simon bemused. “Simon?” He then said. “Please tell me that your Instagram is private.”

“It’s not. Why would it be that. There is nothing special about me and I don’t even post that often.”

“OMG! Simon!” Wille wined.

“What?” Simon did not follow where Wille was going.

“You need to set it to private right now. Don’t you get it? You have been associated to me now, because of  that picture, and that makes you special for other people than just me, okay? Those pictures from Instagram will be all over now. Used for whatever people want to use them for. You need to set your account to private now!” He was panicking slightly.

“Okay, okay, I will.” Simon huffed. “Relax, would you?” He unlocked his phone and opened the app. How in the world was he supposed to know how to put his profile to private? He had nothing to hide so he never felt the need to make a private profile. “How do I do this?” Simon ended up asking after a while.

“Here, let me.” Wille offered in a slightly milder tone. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this, Simon.” He then added.

Simon put his hand on Willes arm and looked at him with a crooked smile. “Hey, we go through this together, right?”

Wille kissed his boyfriend before saying, “together.” He then handed Simon back his phone and added nonchalant. “There you go. It is all set and done now, but you better get a hold on your sister. She keeps texting you.”

“OMG, I will not spend the last hours we have together texting my sister. I can do that on the two hour long drive home!” Simon exclaimed.

“You text with your sister while sitting in a car with her? WTF, Simon?” Wille teased. “You are so weird. Why are we even together?”

Simon glared at Wille. “For your information we text about stuff Mama’s not to know about. And you’re with me because I look pretty, and you got a soft spot for curls.”

“True.” Wille smiled. “I’m with you because of your looks, makes sense! That’s why I kept texting you.”

Simon hummed in agreement and went back to eating his cereal that had gotten all soft and boring by now. He loved how they could switch between light banter to serious conversations and back to light banter like that in no time. He loved spending time with Wille doing absolutely nothing productive. He loved the way Wille laughed, smiled, and walked with his head slightly tilted forward when feeling shy or self-aware. He loved the way Wille would kiss his hair and hold him and call him pretty. He simply just loved Wilhelm.

He dropped his spoon with a loud clog that got Willes attention. “What?” Wille asked in an unimpressed tone.

“N..n.othing” Simon stuttered baffled by the revelation that had just hit him. He loved Wille.

Quickly he gathered his cutlery and brought it to the dishwasher. “We should make some sandwiches to Mama and Sara for the drive back home.” He then exclaimed for the sake of looking normal and unbothered. It didn’t work, but Wille let him be and just agreed and soon they found themselves making sandwiches for the family Eriksson’s drive back to Bjärsted.

 

A little past 1 pm Linda drove up in the private driveway to Drottningholm Castle. Simon and Wille was waiting outside in the cold December weather ready, or almost ready, to say goodbye. Sara had texted Simon in advance to let him know when they were leaving Felice’s place. That was the only time he had answered her that day.

Linda looked anything but happy when she stepped out of the car and by sheer reflex Simon grabbed Willes hand and whispered. “I really don’t want to go home, Wille.” Wille looked at him and put a hand on his cheek before pulling him in to place a kiss on the top of his head. “It will be alright, Simon. We will be alright. Just give her some time and try to explain things to her. Maybe that can soften her a bit?” Simon nodded and hugged Wille like his life depended on it.

Then, another car came down the private driveway. All looked surprised by this, until the driver of the car could be identified. It was Erik. He looked tired, like he had only gotten a few hours of sleep himself. As he stepped outside of his car, he waved at Wille and Simon and greeted them with a cautious smile. “Hello guys. Is Simon going home already?”

It was not Simon who answered the Crown Prince, but his mother. Linda. “Yes, he is. And he is grounded for the next 100 years for not telling me where he went.”

“Mama!” Simon complained equal bits mortified and horrified. She was angry.

“No” Linda replied without hesitation. “You say goodbye now and then get into the car. NOW!”

Simon and Wille had not let go from their hug, so they hugged each other a bit more fiercely holding on to each other like there were no tomorrow. At some extend it felt like there were no tomorrow. Neither knew when they would see each other again and how much that stupid picture would mess up things. Wille kissed Simon, whispering promises and sweet nonsense to him, Simon doing the exact same to Wille. And then finally, finally, when they couldn’t stall any longer, they walked hand in hand towards the car. Erik looked at them with sad eyes, Sara looked bored but Linda’s look was stone cold and hard.  When they were beside the car and Linda, Wille carefully said, “We’ve made sandwiches for the drive back. They are in Simon’s back. Uhmm.” He hesitated. “I’m Wilhelm.” He then added and held out his hand. Linda just looked at it.

“You have been introduced before.” Sara deadpanned. “At the school.” She then added for good measure when Wille looked a bit confused.

“Sara, would you mind your own business!” Simon snarled. She just rolled her eyes and went to sit in the car. Linda moved her head in a gesture to show that they were leaving now, and to get inside the car.

“Bye,” Simon whispered. “Bye” Wille whispered back, and the Simon went into the car.

Erik came and stood by Willes side, while the car drew back outside the gates of the castle and if Wille was biting his nails frantically, the crown prince didn’t comment on that.

 

In the car Linda all but yelled at her son, reprimanding him about why she was so mad at him. He had broken her trust, he had lied to he, he had been sneaking around meeting a stranger he only had texted with, Sara had been so nice as to tell their mother about the texts, perks of having a sister. Linda was mad and she was disappointed. Simon hated it. Hated to see his mother like that, but he regretted nothing. All his so-called immature and unsafe actions and choices had let him to Wille who he loved. He was sure of that.

He looked out of the window and zoned of reminiscing in the memory of the last two days. No, he regretted nothing.

Notes:

So, things will be somewhat okay, perhaps?
Next chapter is New Years Eve!
What would you like to see in this storyline? You can comment on in here or reach out to me on Twitter @KrogagerM (I'm the one with purple hair haha)

Chapter 8: Chapter Eight

Summary:

Ayub
Is it Marcus from 3rd year? The gay one?

Simon
Ayub…. I’m gay. Don’t be offensive…

Notes:

Please be aware of the new tags. Sorry, but the story just went that way, but it will get better :) Also, I cried so hard writing this chapter. There will be a short-lived angst/depression kind of thing. I don’t think I have tagged that just yet – I probably should do that though. There will also be a short POV Wille in the end of the chapter. I tried not to change the POV, but the story just went more fluently if I changed the POV for a short while.

Fun facts about Scandinavia (Mostly Denmark, Sweden and Norway):
1. You as a private person can buy fireworks for new years eve!
2. IN Denmark you must be 15 years to buy alcohol, 17 for buying alcohol that is stringer that 16,5. You must be 18 years old in Sweden and Norway as well.
3. The sexual legal age (Is that what it’s called?) is 15 in both Denmark and Sweden, but 16 in Norway.
4. In Denmark and Sweden, the tv show Dinner for One / The Countess and the Butler is shown every year. (It can be made into a fun drinking game while watching)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter Eight.

Wille

How are you?

Simon

I don’t really know.

Wille

How are things at home?

Simon

Tense. Mama grounded me for like, a month or so. School and then back home.

Wille

But you can still text?

Simon

Yeah. She’s not mad at us dating per say. And she wants me to stay in in contact with Rosh and Ayub, so there is that.

Wille

Then why Ground you? I don’t unterstand.

Simon

How should I know that? I’m not a mad Latino mom who’s trust have been broken.

Wille

Simon, it will get better.

Simon

When? Sara’s not talking to me. She’s mad that it is you that I wrote with. I can’t figure out why though.

Wille

I don’t Think Sara likes me. She’ always sending me these, I don’t know, offended looks in school. I have no idea why.

Simon

Sometimes Sara is the only one who gets herself.

Wille

Felice really likes her though.

Simon

Yeah, she’s a good friend to her. I’m glad they met.

Wille

Hey, Simon

Simon

Yeah<3

Wille

Should I not have asked you to come visit? Maybe things would have been easier then.

Simon

No, no, no. Don’t even go there, okay! I loved seeing where you grew up and spending time with you. Everything was amazing!

Wille

Everything?

Simon

Well, no. But you know what I mean. No regrets!

Wille

Same<3

Simon

How are things with you?

Wille

Could be better. PR have been contacted by a fair share of Magazine and such, but no statement has been made yet. Mama is not sure what to do right now, but I’ve made it clear that I don’t want to address anything.

Wille

I shouldn’t have at address anything. I’m 16! I’m allowed to have a boyfriend and just be happy without everybody else having an opinion about it.

Simon

Ohh, are they home again? You’re parents?  

Simon

And also, yea! You are allowed! We are allowed to be us. Nothing we did was wrong. You know that right?

 

Wille

Yes. They came home yesterday evening, Mama and Papa. All four of us sat down and had a talk about dating and whatnot. Not that Erik needs to be concerned about that anymore.

Simon

What do you mean?

Wille

Can you keep a secret?

Simon

Are you actually asking me that, love?

Wille

Sorry. But Uhmm. Erik proposed to Tindra the 28th! That’s why he was in a hurry to get out and be with `his friends’.

Simon

Omg. Are you for real! And then he had to go home the next day to babysit you. That is so awful, Wille. I would be so embarrassed if I were you. I’m actually at bit embarrassed myself!

Wille

Yes. I feel so bad for him haha. But I can’t be that embarrassed. It was really nice having him there with me yesterday. I really needed that. I wasn’t in a good place, you know.

Simon

I know. I’m sorry.

Simon

But also. Congratulation! That’s huge. When are they going to announce it?

Wille

They are going to put out a press release today and then do an interview the 2nd of January. It will probably be a late summer wedding or early fall.

Simon

Cool, you know how much I love weddings haha

Wille

Sure, you do. Do you love them enough to come with me to the wedding? As my date?

Simon

I would love to Wille! Omg yes! But for Real. Is that allowed?

Wille

I don’t even know, but a guy can dream, right. I guess it’s a somewhat private affair after all.

Simon

You are just too sweet, Wille. I can’t....

Wille

What?

Simon

Just write attend Eriks wedding together on our bucket list will you!

Wille

Already done <3

Simon

That’s why I love you.

 

Simon put his phone down and went to the kitchen. It had been a day since he was picked up at Drottningholm and things at home where not great by any means. He would love to mend things between himself and his mother, but she was just so disappointed in him. He understood that, but no harm had been done, almost none at least, so why was she still so mad?

 

That evening he found cutleries and set the table for supper trying to act like the picture perfect son for his mother. He absoloutly hated when she was mad at him. It was the worst.

Even though it was New Year’s Eve, it was only the three of them today. Ayub and Rosh where not allowed over. The meal was going to be awkward as hell, but Simon would suffer through it without complaints if it could ease the feeling in their household just a little.

 

Sara was grounded too. Only for two weeks, not four, but she was mad at Simon for dragging her into his mess. It was only fair. He would be mad too if their rolls had been reversed. Sara would be mad for some time and then be okay again. She always acted like this. It just sucked because Simon could really use a friend right now and Sara, no matter how strange she acted at times, were the best to gossip with and have whispered conversations with under a blanket. They had done that a lot when they were kids and things had gotten ugly at home. They would run into one of their rooms and hide under a blanket and make up a fantasy world where everything was good. Sara was the best at making things up just the way they needed to be. As a kid, Simon had thought it to be a talent of hers, but when he became older and slightly more aware of Sara’s ADHD he found out that it was actually more of a curse for Sara. She always dreamed of a better would, of more than they had. Sometimes she could become so obsessed with the idea of a better everyday where she would feel perfect, that she would walk around in this dreamy condition without any grasp of what was going on around her.

 

Some firework went off outside and made Simon jump. He hated New Years Eve and how people could think it would be a good excuse to drink way too much and then go play with firework. Stupid and foolish. Simon didn’t like the loud noises and he didn’t like the drinking. He had often wondered if it would have been the same, had his father not been an addictive, violent, dumbass.

 

The food was nothing special despite it being New Years Eve. Linda had been at work all day and was tired and burned out from the day before and today. Sara was moody and on her phone for most of the time, probably texting Felice, and Simon just looked at the tv not registering awful lot.

There were a program showing highlights from the year that had passed. They always watched that tv-show this evening. Normally they would chat and share friendly banter between each other but this year everything felt so wrong.

 

Simon was just about to leave the living room when a picture of Erik and Tindra was shown on the screen announcing their engagement.

“How romantic to get engaged on New Years Eve.” Sara sighed. “That must make a proposal so much more special.”

 

“They didn’t.” Simon mumbled.

 

“And how do you know that?” Sara challenged him.

 

“Wille told me.” Simon simple stated.

 

Linda looked at him. Not once had she commented on the fact that Wilhelm was a Prince or that it was at an actual castle, she had to pick up her son. He didn’t know why. One would have thought that that would have been something to talk about, but she had not mentioned it. Not yet at least.

 

He was just about to say something when he froze. On the screen were the picture of him and Wille kissing in the forest near the palace.

 

“For fucks sake. They can’t be serious!” Simon all but yelled at the tv. “All of Sweden is watching this stupid show!”

“Simon,” Linda said, placing a assuring hand on his arm. The tv show briefly commented on the fact that the little Prince of Sweden, as Wilhelm was called by the press, seemed to date another guy. They talked a lot of what ifs and what nows. And some of them, the experts, even knew his name. They knew he was Simon from Bjärsted and now speculation went on how they probably met when Wille transferred to Hillerska that school year.

 

Simon felt nauseas. “I’m sorry. I have to...I don’t feel very well” and then he went to his room to call Wille.

“Simon!” Linda called after him, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care whether he was allowed to call his boyfriend or not, but right now he needed it. He knew Wille would understand.

 

The phone rang once, twice, and there where Willes voice.

 

“Simon?” He sounded questionable.

 

“Wille did you see. Did you hear them? I can’t, Wille. I can’t.” He stopped talking and started sopping instead. He was so frustrated at everything and now was just enough. Sara hated him, his mom was mad at him, Wille was all the way I Stockholm and now all of Sweden knew where he lived and who his was. It was just too much at that moment.

 

“Simon, love. It’s okay to be upset. You have every right to be that, but please try to get pass that. It will do you no good. Trust me baby. I’ve been there before, and it just makes everything so much worse.”

 

“Wille, I don’t know what to do! Who to talk to. I want to act like it’s nothing because it’s just a kiss. How bad can that be, right?” He sniffled into the phone.

 

“Talk to me, okay. I’m here. Always.” Wille promissed before he continued. “If it makes you feel better I can tell you that I fell the same. It’s just a kiss between two boys in love, but it gets blown up to something that i smuch more and that’s not fair. Not for or for me or for our families who also have to sit through alll this.”

 

Simon cried. Full on cried. “Mama is so mad at me, Wille and I hate it. She’s never ben mad at me like this before and I don’t know what to do.”

“Hey, calm down, Simon. Breath with me.” Wille tried, and for a minute or two they just sat down breathing into the phone.

“Better?” Wille eventurally asked. Simon hummed. “Yes, better. Thank you!”

 

“Simon?” Wille then continued. “I have to go in a little while. We have guests over, August. You know the captain of the rowing team and his mother are here tonight and I have to go socialize befor he does someting utterly stupid but I just wanted you to know that I have thought a lot about what you wrote to me.”

Okay. Why do you need to babysit August? Isn’t he like 2 years older than you?” Simon wondered. At that Wille let out a small laugh. “He is, be he’s still lacking in his skills at readig a room, so I promised Erik I would help with that tonoght. It’s the least I can do after he left Tindra yesterday to come home to me.”

“Ohh, okay. I guess that’s only fair. Happy New Year, Wille” Simon said. If he was skulking he couldn’t help it. All he wanted to do was talk to his boyfriend for the rest of this evenig.

“Happy New Year, Simon.” Wille replied. And then in almost a whisper. “I love you too.”

 

Simon looked at his phone. The call had disconnected and Simon just stood there in his room looking at his phone. Wille loved him... too. What did that mean? Hurriedly Simon looked through their text conversation. Wille had something about somethng Simon had texted to him that day but what could he possible had...  He froze in his spot. Yep. He had done it without knowing it. He read and re-read the last text they had exchanged that day.

Simon

Just write attend Eriks wedding together on our bucket list will you!

Wille

Already done <3

Simon

That’s why I love you.

 

 

Wednesday morning

Simon dreaded this day. School was starting again after the holiday and things were a mess. Sara was still mad at him for destroying her sleep over with Felice. She thought that he had made her look stupid or something like that. Linda was still so disappointed in him that she barely looked at him and their house was now frequently visited by journalist trying to get a scoop on The Boy Who Kissed the Little Prince as his alias in the numerous articles were. Wille had laughed at that at said it almost looked like something taken out of a Harry Potter book. Simon did not find it funny.

He was sitting with Ayub and Rosh in the back of the bus dreading the day ahead of him. A lot of people from school had tried to reach out to him after the photo, but he had only answered his two real friends.

“Cheer up, Simme. This is old news by now!” Rosh tried to tell Simon when they walked out of the bus. “No one’s going to comment on the shit photo.”  Simon send her a glare and skulked into the school building, Ayub and Rosh in his heals.

She was wrong. People did take notice of him. They tried to hide it, but they couldn’t. He could see their eyes finding him wherever he went. He could hear their whispered conversations and words like gold-digger, the prince, what’s he getting out of this. The one world that he herd a group of older boys let out, not so subtle, was royal fuck toy. It stung. He knew he should just ignore it, but the phrase stuck to him the whole day. He couldn’t concentrate in class, he barely had any appetite and he just went around his day in a bubble of self-loathing.

When he came home he went straight to his room and started with his homework. Might as well get it done now. He’d gotten a text, or maybe more, from Wille that day, but hadn’t felt he had the energy to even look at his phone. Remembering how panicked Wille had been last time he didn’t answered he finally unlocked his phone to type a quick answer back to Wille.

Wille

Good morning. Ready for the first day back in school after the holiday?

Wille

Simon, are you up?

Wille

For whatever reason you’re not responding, just know that I’m thinking of you. Everything will be okay <3

Wille

I was wrong about Sara. She didn’t hate me before Christmas. She hates me now. Very openly and vocally.

Wille

Hope school wasn’t too much, Simon. I have practice now. Text you when I’m done…. I love you.

Simon felt tears starting to prick in his eyes. Wille loved him, everything was going to be okay. It was just stupid words. It would blow over eventually.

Simon

Hey, Wille. I didn’t have the best day back in school. Sorry….

He then took a deep breath and saw his group chat with Ayub and Rosh.

Ayub

Bro, are you okay. People were shitheads today!

Rosh

Yeah like, not cool at all!

Ayub

You’re not cool

Rosh

Shut up Ayub! We’re here to support Simme <3

Simon

Hey guys. Just finished homework. You two should get started with your homework….

Ayub

Nahhh, it’s just for Swedish. Not so important.

Rosh

What’s important is… Does anyone know how big of a jerk Marcus actually is!?

Simon

What are you talking about Rosh? Who’s Marcus and what have he done to you?

Ayub

Is it Marcus from 3rd year? The gay one?

Simon

Ayub…. I’m gay. Don’t be offensive…

Ayub

WTF. How was that offensive when he’s actually gay?

Rosh

GUYS… Hello, important stuff to spill here. Focus!

Simon

Sorry, go ahead Rosh

Rosh

So, I was talking casually with Yasmina on the hallway today when he walked passed us with his gang and I kid you. He said… Are you ready?

Ayub

Rosh just get on with it would you?’

Rosh

He said Simon can do so much better than that stuck up prince.

Simon

Okay…

Rosh

I’m not done!

Ayub

Then you should try to type everything in one message the next time

Rosh

Just listen! He went on saying that he for sure never would have used you in that way just to get attention and piss of his mom. And some of his friends called Wilhelm an attention seeking disaster or something like that….

Simon

Why are you telling me this Rosh.

Ayub

Auch, that was hard! But then. You’ve got yourself an admire, Simon!

Simon

Did he really call Wille that! I can’t even… I’m so furious right now.

Rosh

Can’t you see it, Simon! Marcus is totally into you; you should go on a date or something!

Simon

WTAF ROSH! I’m dating Wille. He is my very true boyfriend that I love by the way.

Simon

WHY ON EARTH WOULD I GO ON A DATE WITH MARCUS?!!

Ayub

Bro…

Rosh

You do what?

Ayub

Like for real. Do you love him? How long have you even known him?

Rosh

Yeah. I’ve known Yasmina for the same amount of time as you and the prince, and we are still really casual. How can you be sure that you love him?

Simon

Because I know I do. Without a doubt. I can’t really explain it, but that’s how I feel.

Simon

And why would you try to set me up with someone else, Rosh? You knew I at least liked Wille.

Rosh

You just seemed so sad and distant today.

Simon

That does not mean that I want to date any other guy than my boyfriend, Rosh.

Ayub

Drama’s coming ahead. Please go put on all safety equipment before things go to shit.

Rosh

Shut up Ayub.

Simon

Shut up Ayub.

Simon

It’s not Wille who’s making me sad. It’s everybody else!

Rosh

But everybody else will keep an eye at you as long as you date that prince. Aren’t you aware of that?

Simon

That prince’s name is Wille! And no, the fuss will blow down eventually.

Rosh

When will that happen?

Simon

I don’t know that Rosh. If it did, I would hide away and come back when it was all done!

Ayub

Dude. Are you sure you’re like, okay?

Simon

Yes… No. I don’t know. People should just mind their own business.

Rosh

Not going to happen as long as you date an official person.

Simon

Rosh would you just give me a break!

Ayub

What happened today? Something has messed with you head, Simme.

Simon

….

I heard someone calling me a royal fuck toy…

Rosh

OMG WHO!

Ayub

WHAT!!!!

Rosh

Tell me who and I will go deal with them right now.

Simon

I don’t know his name. Someone from 2nd year, I think. They were together in this big group just gossiping about me without even realizing I was right there. 

Ayub

That’s so fucked up, Simme. Why didn’t you say anything earlier?

Simon

I don’t want this to be your problem too.

Rosh

But you’re our friend and we care for you so we make it our problem whether you like it or not.

Ayub

Yeah man! We got your back. Nobody’s going to shit talk you and get away with it.

Simon

Thanks guys, but just. Let it be. It will get better soon.

 

Simon wrote the phrase Wille and him used themselves. It will get better, it will get better, it will get better.

Thursday

The next day wasn’t better.

He had started the day texting back and forth with Wille as they usually did every morning until class begun. It felt somewhat normal, but as soon as Simon was at the school, he started getting a feeling of being watched by everyone. As he walked inside the school, he noticed a group of girls filming him or taking pictures of him. He ducked his head and hurried inside thinking it would be better. It wasn’t. Even though he was walking with Rosh and Ayub his fellow schoolers were talking about him, sending him eyes and pointing their phones at him.

“Just walk, Simme.” Rosh whispered to him, and he did. All the way to their classroom and to his designated seat, which were luckily beside Ayub. His own class was not the worst. There were some hushed conversations, but nothing too bed, the teens in this class all being used to him and not seeing him as something special. Maybe he could actually survive these next days if he just focused on school and his friends.

Just before third period he got a text from Wille. They had chemistry in third lesson so they were all waiting for their teacher in front of the chemistry room. Rosh was occupied by her phone, probably texting Yasmina who was in another class and Ayub chatted with somebody down the hall. He quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket and smiled.

Wille

Sara just refused to be on the same team as me in hockey in PE. Said she couldn’t cause of personal issues.

Simon

OMG, Wille. I’m so sorry. Should I talk to her?

Wille

No, everything’s good. She got a reprimand though.

Simon

Then she’s probably in a bad mood when she gets home today.

“Is it him?” a shrill voice sked beside him. Simon moved his phone closer to his chest as if to black the view from the girl asking.

“Who?” Simon replied challenging.

“Is it the prince?” She asked if that was something she was entitled to know. People were starting to take notice of their conversation and Simon could feel the curious eyes looking at him.

“Why do you think that?” Simon shot back fiercely.

“It totally is! I knew it!” Another one yelled.

“How did you even meet?” The girl next to him asked.

“WTF, why should I tell you shit? We’re not even friends.” Simon could feel his anger growing.

“Simme, calm down” he could hear Rosh voice in the background.

“Come on! Share something with us, Simon,” a boy, Nicklas, encouraged.

“Yeah,” yet another one chimed in. “It’s not like you had a problem getting all cozy with the prince in front of a camera. Why not just tell us the juicy details!”

He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t. He was so angry. How dared they to assume that he would just say anything to them about him and Wille. And why in the world would they think that they had pictures taken of then consciously?

Ayub had pushed his way over to Simon now asking in a careful voice. “You okay, bro? should we ditch?”

Simon really feel like taking Ayub up on his proposal, but just in that moment their teacher showed up and lucked up the door into the chemistry classroom. Simon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to do this. He had to get through the day. It will get better.

While their teacher found her stuff and got settled Simon quickly shoot a text to Wille.

Simon

Got class now. Text you later. Love you <3

 

“OMG! That is just the sweetest thing!” His chemistry partner whispered in an overly excited voice.

“Stephanie, why are reading my texts?” Simon asked offended.

She looked at him with big eyes and a soft smile. “Don’t worry. I’m fully on Team Wilmon!”

“What? What team?” Simon asked confused while putting away his phone.

“Team Wilmon,” Stephanie repeated. “Simon, please say that you are aware of your ship name.”

“What?” Simon just asked still as confused as before.

Their teacher started the class, writing stuff on the board and Simon started taking notes, willing himself to pay attention. When they had to do the practical work, Stephanie continued talking while setting up the Bunsen burner and the test tubes. “It’s like your name. Wilhelm and Simon put together. Wilmon. There are so many who ships you, just so you know. Also, a lot who doesn’t. Like Sebastian from 2nd. He’s very vocal online about how he does not like you. And all of us are just like. What? How can you say that? They look so cute together!”

Simon looked at his partner from the other side of the table where he was measuring something he didn’t quite know what was. “You know that we are actual people, not some fictional characters. Why do you think it’s okay to talk about us in that way? Discuss us online like we don’t have anything against it.”

Stephanie send him an unsure smile. “But we are defending you!” She tried.

“You shouldn’t have too!” Simon said out loud gaining the attention of the whole class. “None of this would have been happening if someone didn’t leak that stupid picture. Do you even know how that feel? Did you ever stop to wonder how we feel? Me? Wille? He was outed on Instagram and now you are finding names for us and shit. You are not defending us, Stephanie. You are making all of this much worse.” The room was silent, everybody having turned their attention towards Stephanie and Simon.

Simon felt dizzy. He had done the one thing he wasn’t supposed to do. He had commented on the rumors and made it all worse.

Quickly and quietly he packed his stuff and turned his attention to his teacher. “I don’t feel very well, I’m going home.”

“Simon, I have to give you absence if you leave.” She said softly.

“I know.” Simon said simply and left the classroom not caring about anything in there.

As he waited for the bus he found his phone and scrolled through the texts between him and Wille. Wille sounded like he was doing okay back at the school. Nothing like him who had to flee his school just to get a piece of mind from all the constant whispers and looks his way.

Simon

On my way home now. Felt bad. Might be getting sick or something. Feel free to text me anytime though.

 

Against his better judgment he googled their name when he came home. Wilmon. Who had come up with that? He couldn’t even phantom that people would use their time coming up with a ship name for the two of them. As he searched through google, he discovered that not only were there pictures from his Instagram before it was set to private, but also of him walking from the bus to school, of him inside the school and even one of him eating his lunch together with Ayub and Rosh the day before. Who had taken and posted these pictures?

Swiftly he closed the web app on his phone, put on earphones and started listening to music. Music was good. Music made him feel safe. After a while he found his small keyboard and begun playing around with tones and words and slowly creating a song.

As evening come, he took of his headphones and looked at what he had created. It wasn’t finished yet, but it described his feelings and how he felt so perfectly and pure.

I'll do it on a thousand times to call you home
I would never lie about this, ain't no joke
You're cutting through the silence with a perfect tone
If you break, then I break, we're not made of stone

 

Friday

Simon didn’t go to school that day. He couldn’t get himself to even leave his bed, his body feeling too heavy too even register his basic needs as food and water. He stayed in bed until everybody had left the house. After a slow bathroom visit he slowly pulled his keyboard up on his bed and continued his song. This was something he could do for himself.

He got lost in the music, trying to find the right way to play his emotions on the little keyboard. It would have been much better with a real piano, but he had to use what he got. The melody became more and more right in Simon’s ears and when he finally gave over to his hunger and went for the kitchen for some cereal, he had a melody for the first verse and was nearly satisfied with the chores.

It's gotta be that you remind me of
Every single song on the radio
You're the type of melody I can't live without

I can't breathe, breathe, breathe
Breathe, baby, on my own
I can't breathe, breathe
Breathe, baby, on my own
It's not that I'm afraid
I just have to say it out for the world to know
That I can't breathe, breathe, breathe
Breathe, baby, on my own

 

Saturday

Saturday was spend in bed too, lights off, curtains closed. He didn’t talk to anyone. Didn’t answered his phone. Not even when Wille texted him.

He had been so stupid. As he ate his cereal the day before he had opened the web browser once more and googled even more. He had found a Bjärsted group on Facebook that openly discussed his and Willes relations. He had found Sebastian’s comments about them being disgusting, unnatural and a disgrace for the country. Simon couldn’t believe that a young person in Sweden could feel like that. Sweden was such a progressive land when it came to LGBTQ+ rights and still there were this boy, any many, many others that thought that what he and Wille had or did was not right.

It had been discussed in morning shows in the tv and self-exclaimed experts had ben pro and con a same sex relationship within the royal family.

People were calling him and Wille horrific names, doing ugly, offensive edits of the photo of them kissing and Simon just couldn’t anymore. So, he shut the world out.

 

Sunday

Sunday was spent much like Saturday. Simon only leaving his room for an occasional bathroom break and to get the absolute minimal of food and drinks. He just couldn’t anymore. Everything hurt. All he could do was listening to music. Music was good. Music was calming to him.

Sunday afternoon Linda tried to get Simon to take a shower.

“Please Simon, you need to get out of bed.” She tried to tell him for the 100th time that weekend. “You can’t just stay like that, sweetheart. Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.” Simon only turned around in the bed, so he was looking at the wall. He did not care about what Linda wanted him to do right now.

“Simon please” Linda pleaded again. 

“Mama?” Sara’s voice was heard from the door.

Linda carefully removed herself from Simon’s bed and walked over to Sara.

“Si?” She said in a low voice as if to shield Simon from their talk.

“So uhmm, you know Felice?” Sara started. Linda nodded and Sara went on. “She’s really good friends with Wille too and she’s told me that he’s a mess because Simon isn’t responding to his text. And I know how much they texted all throughout December and stuff so I though it was strange, so I checked in with Rosh and Ayub.” There was a pause.

“Rosh didn’t say anything but after some convincing Ayub told me that people have been really mean to Simon at school. Almost like they were to me.” She trailed of. Simon slowly hid himself under the duvet as if to shield himself from the truth.

“Simon, Me amor,” He could hear Linda say. “Simon, is that true?” No answer. “Simon, please. I need to know if it’s true.” Linda tried.

“Mama.” It was Sara again. “It’s not just in school. The internet too, it’s…” Linda nodded seemingly knowing what Sara was trying to say. Turning her attention back to Simon she whispered. “I’m right here, Simon. Sara’s too. Don’t shut us out and let us help you for once.”

Simon stayed under the duvet and eventually first Sara and then Linda left the room.

 

Monday

Wille’s POV

Wille

Good morning, Simon. Hope you have a good day. I miss you<3

He wrote the text well knowing he probably wouldn’t get a response. Simon hadn’t texted him since Friday and he felt more and more unease by that. He didn’t talk with anybody at school. Not that he talked that much with anybody before Christmas, but some small pleasantries were exchanges when needed. Now though, he just kept to himself well aware of the looks that were thrown his way. The only one that he talked to was Felice. She was his constant comfort and pillar right now.

He sat down, ate his breakfast and went to class without talking to anybody. His mind was occupied by thoughts of Simon ad all the different pictures there were circulating of him online. He felt like he had brought it all on Simon and he didn’t know how to help him because Simon didn’t answer him.

He sat down in class and looked down at his notes. Behind him was Sara and Felice. They talked with hushed voices, but if he concentrated, he could make out what was being said.

“He’s so sad, Felice!” Sara complained. “I haven’t seen him like this. Not even when things were the worst with our dad. It’s like he has gone into hibernation.”

“Ohh wow, I’m so sorry to hear that, Sara!” Felice exclaimed. “How are you all coping?”

“I don’t really know. Mama is stressed out. I’m just blocking it all out. It’s not my problem. I didn’t fuck it all up. He did.” Sara said in a matter-of-fact kind of way.

“Sara!” Felice exclaimed. “You can’t just say stuff like that!”

“But it’s the truth. He was the one having secret meetings with his boyfriend and he dragged me into this mess, so now Mama is mad at me too. Suites him well to just lie and do nothing in his bed!” Sara was getting angry now.

Wille took a quick gulf of air. He had forgotten to breathe while listening in on the girl’s conversation. What did Sara mean by Simon just lying in his bed all day? What had happened to him? Luckily Felice answered just that question and Sara honest as always, talked.

“He’s been bullied at school. Not for so long. Not like I was. People have been really nasty towards him at school and online too and now he’s just crawled into this state of numbness. Like a week of bullying is anything to be bothered with.” Wille couldn’t believe himself. How could Sara be so cold towards her brother that she didn’t care that Simon clearly did not thrive. He was suffering and she didn’t care at all. But he did, and he would show Simon just that.

That afternoon Wille followed Sara to the bus stop and waited with her for the bus. When she asked why he was at the bus stop he replied boldly. “Because someone have to check up on Simon and let him know that he is loved and perfect just as he is, and you clearly don’t care. I’m coming home with you!”

Notes:

So this happened. Ups.
I have to make a brand new lineup for the story, so there will porbably not be a new chapter tomorrow, but maybe thursday or friday.....
You can always find me on twitter @KrogagerM

Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

Summary:

Wille ended up helping Simon get out of his sweatshirt, t-shirt, pants, and socks. He only stopped when it was time to get Simon out of his boxers.

Notes:

The lovely escapethrustory have graciously offered to beta the story from now on so. Wuhoo! That’s awesome!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter Nine

Simon was listening to his music lying in his bed – curtains closed and light off. He felt numb, but at the same time, he felt everything. He hadn’t showered for days, his lips were dry and skin oily, but he didn’t care. The world hated him. Everybody hated him and who he loved. The best thing for him would be to just disappear into nothingness. That would be  bliss, he thought to himself. He could feel a tear roll down his cheek, and he didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

He thought of how cross his mom had been on their drive back from Stockholm. She didn’t trust him anymore, he knew that. He had screwed up big time.

“Do you understand how reckless you’ve been, Simon? Texting someone you don’t know! Meeting them in a secluded place telling no one! Sneaking into Hillerska to stay with, and I can’t believe this, the prince of Sweden of all the boys at that school! What were you thinking? Did he promise you something in return? Huh? Was it his idea? I don’t get it, Simon. Why him? He’s only bad news, you know. He was sent to Hillerska because he was in fights back in Stockholm. Did you know that?”

Simon knew that. Wille had told him about that one fight and how he had to speak publicly on the matter and then transfer to Hillerska. He had told how he hated it, how he hated Hillerska and just wanted to be.

Linda didn’t even want to meet Wille. She had made that very clear that she thought very little of the prince having the same opinion on the monarchy as Simon had. She saw it as an ancient institution that lived on other people's money. 

“Do you really want to be dragged into that circus? You know what! You already have been and how do I find out? A co-worker showed me a picture of you kissing that boy when you were supposed to be at a sleepover at Felice’s house! I’m just so disappointed, Simon. Didn’t I raise you better than that? No secrets! That was the deal after everything with your father. No secrets, Simon!”

The room lit up a bit. Was Sara home? What time was it? Not important. The room went dark again after some time, but then there was a person sitting on his bed. The person laced their hand through his greasy hair and then continued to lie down behind him, spooning him. It felt nice.

“This okay?” He heard the voice ask oh so quietly. No, not the voice, Wille’s voice.

More tears were streaming down Simon's cheeks, but he nodded and laced his fingers together with Willes, holding them in a tight death grip. He could do this; he could be here with Wille feeling nothing. This he could do.

They lay there for a while with no one saying anything. Now was not the time for deep talks and confessions. They could do that later. For now, Simon just needed them to be like this.

As time went on, Simon fell asleep and Wille let himself doze off in a light slumber, too, but he woke up to the door opening to the room. He carefully turned around to see Linda standing in the doorway looking at them. He couldn’t decipher the look on her face, so instead he turned around to spoon Simon once again. He nuzzled his head into Simon's curls and inhaled. He didn’t smell like his coconut conditioner any longer. He smelled like a teenage boy who really needed a shower, but right now Wille didn’t care about what his boyfriend smelled like. He needed Simon to know that he was there even when Simon was asleep.

“Supper is in an hour,” Linda said from the doorway before she closed the door again to leave the boys alone in the dark room.

Simon made a slight mumble before saying, “Not hungry.”

Wille smiled a sad smile. Simon sounded so far from the happy, sassy boy he knew and fell in love with. Just now he had sounded so broken and small that it hurt Wille to his bones.

“Hey, you,” Wille tried tentatively. “I thought you were still asleep.” Simon shook his head.

“You need to get something to eat, Simon. And maybe a shower. When was the last time you brushed your teeth?”

Simon gave a shrug indicating that he didn’t know. He didn’t care, he thought to himself and closed his eyes.

“Come on, Simon. Let’s get you all nice and cleaned up. I’ll help,” Wille tried again. “Please, love,” He then added.

Simon did nothing, so carefully Wille removed the duvet from his boyfriend and dragged him out of bed. Simon didn’t initiate any movement, but he didn’t refuse any either, so Wille took it as a win, intertwined their fingers, and walked towards the hallway.

They walked slowly, one step at a time and in complete silence. Wille didn’t know the layout of the house, so he had to ask Linda, who was talking quietly with Sara in the kitchen, for directions to the bathroom. Linda pointed him the right way with a puzzled look and Wille thanked her with a little smile dragging Simon with him towards the bathroom.

They stopped in front of the door and Wille tried to gently push Simon into the bathroom and get him to take a shower, but when he tried to let go of Simon's hand, Simon squeezed so hard that Wille thought his fingers would fall off. Simon didn’t say anything, but his eyes were big and pleading, so Wille mustered the courage he needed to be strong for Simon and went with him into the bathroom.

If Sara and Linda looked at their wordless interaction in wonder nobody commented on it.

“Which toothbrush is yours, Simon?” Wille asked once in the bathroom. Simon didn’t say anything.

“Come on, love. You need to brush your teeth so I can kiss you again,” Wille then tried. At that Simon gave him a faint smile and pointed at a green toothbrush.

Wille effectively made the toothbrush ready for Simon and handed it to him. Simon just looked at Wille.

“No,” Wille said. “I’m not brushing your teeth, Simon. You can do that yourself.” Simon scowled at him but eventually started brushing his teeth extremely slowly. While Simon was occupied with his toothbrush, Wille turned on the shower so the water could get hot.

“Done,” Simon suddenly said, turning to look at Wille.

“Perfect!” Wille exclaimed and pecked Simon on the lips. “Now it’s time for a shower, okay?”

Simon nodded hesitantly before whispering, “Just, can you just…”

“What?” The prince asked patiently.

“Just hug me for a bit?” Simon asked. Simon wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to ask when you hadn’t showered for god knows how long, Simon wasn't sure if it was the right thing to ask when he hadn't showered for god knows how long, but before he could give it much more thought, he was embraced in a tight hug. Because of the hug, he knew he would be okay at some point. . The feeling quickly disappeared when Wille let go of Simon, and if Simon let out a little whine when feeling the distance between them again, neither of them commented on that. "It felt like anything that happened in this bathroom would stay in this bathroom; it was a safe space right now.

Wille ended up helping Simon get out of his sweatshirt, t-shirt, pants, and socks. He only stopped when it was time to get Simon out of his boxers. Simon looked so tired and so defeated already – as if  brushing his teeth had taken all the energy he had. Simon all but fell into Wille’s arms once more, and to both of their surprise, he started weeping.

At first it wasn’t much, just a few tears gliding down his cheeks and landing on Wille’s polo, but slowly a few tears turned into full-on crying. He would probably ruin Wille’s polo, Simon thought, in a swift, fleeting moment.

“I just, I just don’t understand…” Simon cried.

“I know, love.” Wille quickly assured him. “People are dicks, but they are wrong, you know.”

Simon shook his head not knowing what he actually was trying to say.

“People are dicks, and fake, and made out of metal,” Wille tried. “But I still love you, and that is real, Simon! That is the only thing you must focus on now, okay. I love you.” Wille kissed his curls once more before slowly removing Simon's boxers and guiding Simon into the now hot shower.

Inside the shower Simon hugged himself feeling lonely and vulnerable in the enclosed space. He let the warm water wash over him as he breathed heavily, willing himself to stop crying.

“Please, talk to me,” he asked Wille in a hoarse voice and then forced himself to reach for the shampoo. He could do this. He could make it through the shower if Wille just stayed with him.

“Ohh, yeah sure,” Wille tried. “Umm, August is going to go mental when he notices that I’m not at practice today. He is so intense right now, like he’s trying to prove something. I don’t really know what Erik likes about him. When we got back to school, he was all like, ‘ Hey, Wille! Are we going to plan a bachelor party for our brother, or what? I have the sickest ideas !’ There was a short pause.

“I told him I didn’t want to plan anything, that I didn’t have to because I’m 16 and Erik has plenty of friends from university that can plan a party that he would actually like. That really pissed off August. Like, does he really think he’s Erik’s best and only friend? I can’t even fathom how he can think that. You know, just because we have titles and stuff doesn’t make us unable to have friends.”

Simon smiled a little inside the shower and then took courage and deadpanned, “You only have one friend, Wille.”

“Whatever,” Wille shot back. “Don’t be a smartass!”

It was time for conditioner and bodywash and Simon was just so drained of energy. He couldn’t do this. This was too much.

“I can't,” he said in defeat.

“What?” Wille asked.

“It’s too much, Wille. I’m just going to lie down here for a moment,” Simon whispered and sat himself on the cold floor, rolling up into a small ball. This he could do.

“No, no, no, Simon,” Wille said, sounding distant to him. “Come on. You’re almost there; you can do this.” Simon said nothing. He didn’t have any energy left in his body. He closed his eyes.

Suddenly he heard something scramble behind him and then Wille’s hands were on him, slowly sitting him up and leaning Simon against his chest. There was a kiss on his temple and then soapy hands on his body, washing him carefully yet effectively. Simon just let Wille do what he did. He was so, so tired. He felt himself being pulled up on his legs again, slamming his whole body against Wille who had to take a few steps back due to the force of Simon’s full bodyweight.

The soap was washed off his body and the water was turned off. He was guided out of the shower stall and engulfed in a big fluffy towel. Carefully Wille guided him over to the toilet and sat him down on it. There were some more shuffling around, but Simon just held his eyes shut until Wille was by his side again securing the towel around his body and guiding him up once more.

“I need you to help me now, okay?” Wille’s voice said soft and sweet. “We need to find some clothing for you and then go back to your room. You need to open your eyes for me, love. Can you do that?”

Simon could, it turned out, open his eyes and together they slowly walked outside the bathroom. On the floor just outside the door were a sack of neatly folded clothes for Simon. Wille bent down to get it and together, hand-in-hand, they walked into Simon's room once more.

Inside the room Wille closed the window that Linda must have opened to let in some fresh air and then continued to dress his boyfriend who had gone numb. When fully dressed Simon collapsed on the bed and Wille hesitantly placed himself beside Simon. Simon almost crawled on top of Wille lying on him like he was the best mattress a man could get. Wille put his arms around Simon and they just stayed there in comfortable silence until Linda announced that supper was ready.   

They arrived at the dining table just like when they were on the way to the bathroom, hands clasped together and Wille leading the way. Simon let Wille sit him down on a chair not really caring about food.

“What’s for supper?” He hears Sara say.

“Oh, just some lasagna, '' Linda replied in a distant voice. Wille’s hands were on Simon’s back and he let out a breath of relief. He was still here. Wille was still here. He willed himself to look up. Sara looked bored as always, Linda was looking worried.

Wille took his plate and put a portion of lasagna on it together with some salat. “Here,” he simply said and kissed his curls as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do. The others helped themselves to the food and Sara started talking about horses and whatnot. Simon only looked at his food not knowing where to start or end. As if reading his thoughts Wille placed his hand on Simon’s and looked carefully at him.

“Simon, love,” He said to gain Simon’s attention. Simon looked at him as did the rest of the table.

“I need you to eat a little. Start with the lasagna, okay? Please try to do that.” He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Simon’s lips earning a glare from Linda, but it softened when Simon slowly started to cut out his food and even slower eating small bites of the lasagna.

After a while of silence Linda cleared her throat and began speaking.

“Simon, even though I’m still furious about you going to Stockholm to visit a secret boyfriend that none of us knew of, I really don’t like seeing you like this. Listen, Sara has filled me in on what’s going on in school.” Simon’s head whipped up to look first at his mom, then Sara, and finally at Wille. Wille looked at him with questions written all over his face.

“I think it would be a good idea if you transferred schools just like Sara did. You should have done that the same time as her when I suggested it the first time. I have talked with the headmistress of Hillerska,” she quickly looked at Wille before continuing. “You can start next week if that’s what we choose. You have great grades, but you have to put some work into it now so you can catch up on their syllabus.”

“I can help with that!” Wille eagerly offered.

“With all due respect, this is a conversation between my son and I,” Linda announced in a harsh voice. Wille slumped back in his chair and Simon felt anger washing over him. Taking Wille’s hand under the table, he squared his shoulders and looked Linda directly in the eyes.

“Don’t talk to Wille like that!” he said with an icy voice. “I didn’t want to move schools last year; why do you think that I will now?”     

“Simon, you get bullied because of that boy!” Linda exclaimed. Simon squeezed Wille’s hand harder. Wille looked at Simon in horror.

“You didn’t tell me that,” he whispered to Simon.

“Well, now you know,” Simon answered in a low voice addressed only to Wille before he turned his attention back to his mom.

“I don’t know, Mama. I’ll think about it,” Simon indicated as he was about to leave the table.

Linda looked straight ahead while saying, “you’ve got until Wednesday to decide. You’re going back to school next Monday no matter which school it’ll be.”

Simon was furious. Anybody with eyes in their head could see that, but he nodded and then dragged Wille back to his room to shut out that world.

“Thanks for the food. It was lovely,” Wille managed to say to Linda before they disappeared down the hall and back into Simon’s room.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Wille asked hesitantly when they were lying in the bed again, Wille spooning Simon just like before.

“Not really,” was the response he got, so they just stayed there in the dark room in silence, which felt  like a soft blanket tucked around them. After a while, Simon spoke up again.

“Everyone thinks they are entitled to know everything about us!” 

Wille hummed in response and Simon continued.

“In school, this girl read my texts from you, and everyone was staring at me and then some started calling me names behind my back. I really tried to ignore them and just go on with my day, but everything just got to be too much!” The words were tumbling out of Simon now. “And then Stephanie told me that there is this name for us, Wilmon, and I googled it and everything was just horrific and cruel and… I couldn’t face anyone knowing how they think of us and you and me and…. And…” He was sobbing again.

Wille held him close to his chest. “I saw the pictures leaked from your school. It’s not okay that they were taking them in the first place, and I’m quite sure it’s illegal here in the European Union.” Wille kissed Simon’s curls. He loved those curls. If anybody were to make a fan club about Simon’s curls Wille would be first in line to be the president.

“I love you, Simon, and what we have and are is not wrong! Look at me please,” Wille turned Simon around so they could look at each other before he continued. “Look, the PR staff at the palace has been keeping a close eye on all the media since the picture was leaked and they say that it’s not all bad. Yes, there are really awful comments out there, but there are also so many positive and supportive reactions.” Simon nodded. He knew that. It was just so hard to focus on the positive reactions when everyone close to him was being mean.

Wille continued talking. “You are so beautiful, Simon–Inside and out, and sometimes I just wonder how on earth I got so lucky to end up knowing you. What if I hadn’t saved Felice’s number. Or not really her number, but you know what I mean, right. Then we would never have gotten to know each other and my life would be so dull and achingly lonely. You make everyday better just by texting a good morning to me.”

“I haven't done that in a while,” Simon grumbled.

“No, but you could start doing it again. Tomorrow?” Wille asked. At that Simon looked all panicked.

“Are you not staying?” He asked.

“Sorry, love. I must get back to school. They don’t even know I’m here. I kind of forgot to ask if I could leave the school grounds,” Wille apologized.

“Ohh,” Simon replied. “Are you going to be in trouble?”

“I have no idea,” Wille replied before continuing. “Hold on. I have to check my phone to find out when the last bus is.”  He found his phone which was hidden in his pocket and turned it back on. It had been turned off to give them some privacy and silence, and Simon was grateful for that.

The phone vibrated with several missed calls and texts and Wille groaned.

“Mama and Papa are wondering where I am. The school can’t find me. I have to call them love,” Wille said and sat up in the bed, Simon scooting his head into his lap.

With his fingers cradling Simon’s hair Wille dialed his mother.

“Hello, Mama.” He started. “Yes, I’m okay. No, nothing bad is going on with me. Don’t worry.” The prince hurriedly said before listening. “Look, Simon is not well. Things have been really bad for him after Christmas and he really needed me.” More listening. “No, no. I went there myself. I overheard his sister at school telling Felice how bad he really was.” The queen spoke for quite a while on the phone before Wille got the chance to say anything  further.

When it was his turn to speak again, he said, “Mama, I want to say something. People need to leave Simon alone! It’s not fair that they start to bully him because of me. One shouldn’t do such a thing!” Wille all but yelled into the phone.

“Okay, yeah, just… Please let me read it first. It’s very important for me… Yes. I’m headed back now.” Wille ended the call.

“Mama is going to release a statement about our privacy and stuff. I’ll read it through before anything is made public. Do you want to read it too?” Wille asked Simon in the softest voice as if he were afraid of breaking his boyfriend.

Simon shook his head. “No, I just want it to end.”

Wille kissed him. “It will at some point. I love you, Simon.”

Simon sat up, knowing Wille had to leave. “I love you too, Wille.”

Notes:

When I was a young teen I fell into a deep depression and acted much like Simon in the start of this chapter. I had this amazing boyfriend at the time who did so much for me. He really was my safe space throughout the months I was at my lowest. The shower scene and every interaction between Wille and Simon in the start of the chapter is heavily inspired by my early teenage years and my awesome boyfriend – at the time.

Chapter 10: Chapter Ten

Summary:

Simon let his phone drop down in the bed. He didn’t feel like eating. He didn’t feel like doing anything really, but he had promised Wille, before he left the night before, to try and take care of himself. The bed just felt like the best place to be.

Notes:

This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter Ten

Tuesday

Wille

Good morning!  Have I told you that I brought some plants with me to decorate my room?

Simon

Morning. No. Why?

Wille

Because you told me to<3 Look 

Simon

That’s great, Wille.

Wille

How are you feeling?

Simon

Tired.

Wille

Try to eat some breakfast and then go back to sleep if you need it.

Simon

Not hungry.

Wille

Just try it. I have a test in math today. I’ll probably screw it up, but that’s just because math reminds me of you.

Simon

Sap

Wille

Only for you!

Simon let his phone drop down in the bed. He didn’t feel like eating. He didn’t feel like doing anything really, but he had promised Wille, before he left the night before, to try and take care of himself. The bed just felt like the best place to be.

The other thing was that Linda was still home. She had an afternoon and evening shift today, so he would be forced to see her as soon as he went into the kitchen. But he had made a promise to Wille, so he slowly went out of bed and found the way to the kitchen, where he poured himself a bowl of cereal.

“Good morning,” Linda said from the sofa where she was reading a book. Simon didn’t say anything in return and the house went silent. Linda put her book down and walked over to the dining table where she sat down looking at Simon.

“I think it was good for you that Wilhelm was here yesterday,” she started.

Simon nodded, because yes, it had been a good thing, but now he was alone again with his thoughts and that was not a good thing. He couldn’t derail his thoughts away from all the negativity that was thrown towards him since New Years Eve. No matter how hard he tried, the dreaded feeling of not being good enough, not belonging, being disgusting and unwanted was lingering in his body and mind. It was only when Wille had come to his house yesterday that he had gotten some piece of comfort and the feeling of being good enough back.

When Simon didn’t give a verbal response, Linda continued speaking. “He really took me by surprise. He wasn’t at all how I pictured him. He was very thoughtful with you. I liked seeing that.”

Simon looked at his mom. “You could try to get to know him before judging him. Just a thought?” Simon shot at her. She smiled and ruffled his hair.

“Don’t be sassy, Simon. But you’re right. I didn’t get to know him before making an opinion on him. I trusted the media, which I see now was wrong. He seems to be sincerely fond of you.”

Simon took a big spoonful of his cereal and rolled his eyes at that statement. Of course, Wille was sincerely fond of him. They were an item. Dating. Boyfriends. Amazingly enough they loved each other.

Linda continued her rant and ignored the eye roll. “He seems like a very lovely young man, Simon, and I would very much like to get to know him. But you must understand that I’m still upset over you dodging to a castle, of all places, and not thinking that you could tell me that. Or the fact that you actually have a real boyfriend. It hurt me so much.” She looked at him expecting an answer.

“I know that Mama, but nobody knows. Except Erik. It was him who planned the whole thing. I am sorry, Mama.” Simon said in a small voice.

“I know you are, mi amore,” Linda said, standing up to give him a hug. “And do you mean the crown prince? I can’t believe it’s him I have to be mad at now for luring you into that stupid idea.”

Simon smiled. It will get better.

 

Wednesday

Wille

Good morning <3

Simon

Not a good morning! It’s raining like there’s no tomorrow.

Wille

Well, what else am I supposed to say?

Simon

Don’t know? Good morning to you too, then.

Wille

<3

Simon

I don’t know what to choose about school and stuff.

Wille

Why not? You get a choice now. What would you like?

Simon

To stay in my bed. It hurts my head when I’m thinking of school.

Wille

Sorry, it’s not an option to stay in bed. Are you hydrated?

Simon

I know. I just don’t know how to face anybody anymore, you know. It feels like everyone's judging me from a distance.

Wille

You don’t have to go back to your school. You could start here.

Simon

But people at Hillerska would know too. They would have seen everything about me too.

Wille

But no one would dare say anything when I’m with you.

Simon

Wille, I don’t need your protection.

Wille

What do you need then? What can I do?

Simon

How are people at your school?

Wille

Not bad. Some looks here and there. Some of the boys from Forest Ridge asked if it was really me in the picture and I just nodded. Nothing big.

Simon

You’re lucky.

Simon

And… uhm, how are you? I don’t think I’ve asked you that. Sorry…

Wille

I’m fine. Don’t worry about me right now.

Simon

But I want to know Wille. How are you really?

Wille

I’m handling it. Talked a lot with Erik before going back after New Years Eve. That helped a lot. He knows how to handle my anxiety, so that’s nice.

Simon

Do you have that a lot?

Wille

Anxiety?

Simon

Yes.

Wille

It’s not something that just comes and goes. It’s always there in the background. Something that’s just a part of you, but special situations or actions can really trigger it. Like… I really don’t like to speak in front of people. Or the thought of being alone or not good enough can get me pretty messed up too.

Simon

I’m sorry, Wille. It’s not fair that you have to feel like that.

Simon

But Monday you said you would make a public announcement. Why would you even suggest that if you… you know…

Wille

Yes, luckily, I don’t need to do that anymore. But it was the better choice.

Simon

What do you mean?

Wille

Seeing you hurt so much or putting myself through the agony of doing a public speech. The public speech would have been my choice.

Simon

But why?

Wille

Because I don’t like seeing you like this…

 

Simon

How can you be a prince and then not like speaking in front of people? Wouldn’t that be a trait in your DNA or something?

Wille

Shut up, Simon. Guess it’s just lucky that I’m not the crown prince then.

Simon

Don’t jinx it.

Wille

Never…

Simon

When will the statement be released? About us, I guess?

Wille

I must read it after classes today and then get back to the PR team. I think they will release it Friday perhaps.

Simon

Okay. And it’s not a bad idea?

Wille

I don’t know. But, if PR says that we can do it, it’s not all bad.

Wille

I have class. Will be thinking of you through this awful math test.

 

Simon tiptoed his way out to the kitchen to get some cereal. He felt a bit better knowing that Wille did what he could to make all the gossip about them stop, but at the same time he started to feel a form of guilt sneaking up on him. Was he making Wille feel bad because he himself was at a low? Did he force Wille to make a declaration addressing them just because he couldn’t handle some bullying?

He wished he could just pull himself together and start all over. Show up new and fresh and be proud of who he was again, but it was easier said than done right now. He looked out of the window. It was a gray and rainy day–just like you would expect January to be in Sweden. The weather fit his state of mind perfectly, Simon thought. Maybe when the spring came around, he, too, would lighten up again and feel more like his old self?

One could only hope.

 

Wednesday

The day had started much like any other day. Wille had texted him asking him about how he’d slept. It had occurred to Simon that he hadn’t asked if Wille had gotten any problems from leaving the school without permission, so he asked his boyfriend, genuinely concerned about this.

To his surprise, or maybe not, the Royal Court had talked to the head mistress and informed her that Wille was to have no punishment for his absence–that he had an agreement with the Queen herself about his whereabouts, and that it therefore was a waste of resources to make any further fuss about his disappearance.

Simon had snickered at that. Even though he didn’t like to admit it, Wille would use his princely privileges when it suited him. And this time, he had no complaints.

 

 Ayub

Hey bro! How are you?

Simon

Better?

Ayub

Why do you ask it as a question?

Simon

Because I’m not sure of how I’m feeling. Does that make sense?

Ayub

Yeah. I feel you, man. Anything I can do?

Simon

No, just need to prepare myself mentally for Monday when I go back to school.

Ayub

Sure thing. I’m here you know.

Simon

I know. Thanks

 

Simon looked at his phone. He had informed his mom about his school choice just before supper and she had been understanding of his choice and supported him in it. That was good. He wasn’t so sure of the choice himself, but he would have to make it work.

Things had been better between him and Linda the past two days and even though he was still grounded for another three weeks, he felt that their relationship was shifting back to normal. And he was grateful for that. Now he just needed to mend the relationship with his sister. She spent more and more of her days at Hillerska, coming home late claiming she had been in the stables. Simon didn’t believe her. There was just this thing about her that was off.

 Simon

Is Sara and Felice hanging out a lot these days?

Wille

Not more than normal. Why?

Simon

She’s barely home anymore. Spends all her time at the school.

Wille

Huh… Is she still mad at you?

Simon

Yeah but... That’s just Sara. She needs her time to be mad and then she’ll be as good as new afterwards.

Wille

Okay. Should I keep an eye out for her?

Simon

No, she’s big enough to take care of herself. You’ve got enough on your plate with me and all that…

Wille

Hey, none of that self-loathing, okay.

Simon

If you say so…

Wille

Simon…. Did you get dressed today as we talked about?

Simon

Yes, mom. I can inform you that I am not sporting sweats today. Look. 

Wille

You’re gorgeous, Simon. I can’t even…

Simon

Stop. It’s just me.

Wille

I actually dropped my phone and Walter saw the picture and now I’m hiding in my room.

Simon

Wille, no more hiding in your room…

Simon

If I have to be social and get dressed and all that stuff you’ll have to make an effort, too.

Wille

I shower and get dressed every day, Simon.

Simon

You know what I mean, jerk. Go be a normal person and socialize with others.

Wille

But I really don’t want to.

Simon

And I only want to stay in my bed under my duvet, but none of us can have it our way, so just go!

Wille

Who’s a mom now…

Wille

Walter is staring at me.

Simon

So?

Wille

He’s approaching me. Oh God, what if he wants to talk?

Simon

Then talk with him. It’s not that hard. We talk all the time!

Wille

Sorry, Walter says that it’s proper protocol to send a picture back to your girlfriend when she sends a picture to you.

Simon

I’m not a girl, Wille.

Wille

Well, no. Of course not! I didn’t mean it like that. Just forget it; it was stupid.

Simon

Did you hear me complain about the picture?

Wille

No?

Simon

You’re sweet <3 Wonder if you got a girlfriend?

Wille

Simon, please…

Simon

Or maybe a boyfriend?

Wille

I have a boyfriend, and he is the most wonderful, but also stupid and silly, boy on earth. Let me tell you that much!

Simon

Well, there goes my chance of hooking up with a prince.

Wille

I missed you like this. All sassy, and funny and sunshineish.

Simon

Sunshineish? That’s not a word.

Wille

It is now. I wonder if Mama can make it an official word?

Simon

You’re stupid, Wille.

Wille

But you love me…

Simon

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Go socialize with the posh boys. I’ll play some music.

Wille

Okay, mom…

Simon really loved Wille with every fiber in his body. He should feel scared because of that, because 1) he’s only 16, 2) Wille is a prince, and 3) handling relationships is not really something the Eriksson household is good at. But he wasn’t scared;  he felt content in his feelings.

He fiddled around with the keys oft his small keyboard enjoying the calmness it brought to him. Making music, singing, and writing songs gave him peace of mind–something he needed badly right now. He really doubted whether he had made the right choice when it came to his schooling, but he was forced to make a choice and he had. Now only time would tell if it was the right one.

 

Thursday

Simon looked at his block of paper. There were words scribbled down in messy handwriting, but he understood what was written. He had made something real here. He could feel it in his bones, and he was so proud of the song he had been able to put together.

It was early morning–too early to wake up and start the day. He had stayed up all Wednesday night getting lost in the music and in the words, and had for a short moment, he had forgotten about the real world that apparently hated him.

Simon

Are you up?

Wille

No. Something wrong?

Simon

No, just checking.

Wille

Can you check in an hour or two?

Simon

But you’re awake now.

Wille

Just barely. Why are you up?

Simon

I haven't gone to bed yet.

Wille

Love… It’s 4 am… You should be asleep.

Simon

I can’t.

Wille

Why?

Simon

I don’t want to.

Wille

Now you sound like a child.

Simon

I stayed up all night writing this song. It’s finished now.

Wille

Can I hear it?

Simon

Now?

Wille

No, yes? At some point...

Simon

Maybe…Stay over this weekend? Please.

Wille

OMG YES! But what does Linda think about that?

Simon

I have to ask her, but she wants to get to know you. I’ll take that as a win.

Wille

Ha, she couldn’t resist my ever-charming moves!

Simon

You were not charming when you were here last time. You took care of your pathetic boyfriend, and Mama thought she would give you a chance because of that.

Wille

You’re not pathetic, Simon. But also, how dare you to say that I’m not charming!

Simon

You’re more like this sweet piece of pie or something.

Wille

Pie? Are you comparing me to a piece of pie? Come on, Simon.

Wille

Simon?

Wille

Are you asleep?

 

 

Friday

It was all over the news. The press release from Wille himself. Not the Queen, not the royal family, but Wilhelm.

Simon read it for the 3rd time with tears streaming down his face. It was perfect:

“I am proud that I found the courage to deal the initial blow to the hydra of public contempt. It is absolutely imperative that every human being’s freedom and human rights are respected, all over the world. Equality means more than passing laws. My silence had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you. It did not protect my boyfriend from harm; hateful words and private moments were leaked in the media for everyone to judge. Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it’s a good place to start.

The struggle is really won in the hearts and minds of the community, where it really counts. The richness, beauty and depths of love can only be fully experienced in a climate of complete openness, honesty, and vulnerability.

I was born as a prince of Sweden and therefore there will not be a magic day when we, Simon, and I, wake up and it’s now okay to express ourselves publicly because of the attention my title brings. We strive for  that day by doing things publicly until it’s simply the way things are.

But people have to stop judging; they need to respect, if not mine, then my boyfriend’s privacy. It cannot be true that a teenager is unable to go to school, a place that should be secure and safe, without facing harassment and indecent questions about his private life.

I ask you, the population of Sweden, to respect our privacy and respect Simon who is not a public person, but just a normal teenager.

I do not wish to comment on my sexuality nor what it means within the royal court. Sexuality should not be something you have to share with everyone. It should just be. I can’t just blend in with every other boy and disappear. But why should I have to? Because I don’t think that being queer is anything to be ashamed of.

Thank you.

His Royal Highness Prince Wilhelm of Sweden  

Simon

It’s perfect, Wille!

Wille

Really? I was so nervous about it. What do you think people will say?

Simon

I don’t know, but I think it’s one of those things that will be in future history books. <3

Wille

Don’t say that. I can’t. It makes me anxious thinking of that, Simon.

Simon

Okay. Just breathe. Relax.

Simon

Mama says it’s okay if you come over this weekend, by the way. You can sleep here if you want to?

Wille

Really? Is she okay with that?

Simon

Guess so. You have to be prepared for 101 questions from her probably.

Wille

Now you are the one making me nervous and not history books.

Simon

Stop. No reason for that. It’s just my Mama.

Wille

Who until yesterday hated me because of my title…

Simon

True. Sorry about that.

Wille

Don’t be. <3 I have a late training today. August is going mental over rowing. I don’t know what’s the matter with him. He keeps disappearing and rearranging training hours.

Simon

Oh, so when will you come by?

Wille

Saturday morning?

Simon

Saturday morning it is.

Wille

Hey, Simon?

Simon

Yes?

Wille

Whatever happened to your three questions a day?

Simon

They kind of stopped, I guess.

Wille

Should we do that again? I can ask you questions this time?

Simon

Okay, but isn't it kind of silly now that we’re actually together and know each other? Like before it was this kind of ice breaker or get-to-know you kind of thing.

Wille

I know, but I thought it could be fun.

Simon

Okay, if you say so. Three questions a day each?

Wille

Deal!

Wille

Break is over. Text you after class

Simon smiled down at his phone. He couldn’t believe Wille had made such a beautiful statement risking his own privacy in that matter just to get people to back off from Simon.

Notes:

Most of the statement is quates from 20 of the most popular LGBTQ+ statements ever made. Talk with Google. Google can find them. I Have no idea how to write powerful and inspirational stuff myself. I normally just goof around so I asked Google for some help.

As always you can reach out to me through twitter @KrogagerM

Chapter 11: Chapter Eleven

Summary:

“Can you even cook?” Sara then asked bemused.

All three of the Eriksson’s looked at Wille who blushed even more.

“Umm, I can make sandwiches,” Wille tried.

“A child can do that, babe,” Simon said smiling.

Notes:

This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.
So, I’ve pretty much made a draft for this entire story. Only problem is it goes on to the boys are actual adults…. Question of the day: Should I just write a long (very, very long) fic or should I add works into a collection?
What do you guys think?
Also, your comments are the best! Every single one makes me smile <3

As always you can reach out to me through twitter @KrogagerM

Chapter Text

Chapter Eleven

Saturday

Wille

I’m on the bus now. See you in what? 30 minutes?

Simon

Cool, See you<3

It was early for a Saturday–8 am to be exact–but Simon was already up and had showered. He felt somewhat energized by the thought of his boyfriend spending the weekend at his place even though he technically was still grounded; Linda had made that clear. They were not to leave the house nor go see any of his other  friends. The only reason Wille was allowed was because he made Simon feel better, and Linda wanted to get to know him.

Simon still took it as a win that his mom was beginning to loosen up a bit. Their relationship had almost shifted back to normal, and he was grateful for that.

Even though he was up early and had showered, he didn’t have the energy to put together something nice to wear, so he just put on a fresh pair of sweats and a clean t-shirt. That’ll have to do for the weekend.

When Wille arrived, Simon was already waiting at the door, having seen him through the kitchen window. He looked good in his dark blue winter coat and his new scarf.

“Hey,” Wille said slightly out of breath and carefully pecked Simon on the lips.

“Hey,” Simon simply replied and moved away to let his boyfriend inside before taking his coat and hanging it on the hangers. 

“Is that you, Wilhelm?” Linda’s voice was heard through the house before she emerged from the laundry area in the hallway. “It’s nice to have you over again,” she said and shook Wille’s hand. Wille was standing unsure of what to do and just greeted her politely as his upbringing had taught him to do when meeting people. He was saved by Simon pulling Wille in the direction of his room.

“We’ll just be in here,” he mumbled as he passed his mother, dragging Wille along.

As soon as they were inside Simon’s room with the door safely shut, Simon flung himself into Wille’s arms and Wille instantly held him tight. It was not even 9 am but Simon was already feeling drained from any energy he might have felt when he woke up.

“I’m so tired,” he mumbled, face hidden against Wille’s neck.

“Then let’s go lie down for a bit,” Wille suggested nonchalantly, guiding Simon over to the bed and down onto it. He placed himself next to Simon lying close to him. It was only a single bed, so they had to be close to each other, but neither of them complained about that. They were two 16-year-old boys in love, after all.

“I’m just so tired all the time, Wille,” Simon said hesitantly. “It’s like, every time I wake up I might as well go to sleep again because I never feel fully awake. Like I’m just floating around in this haze without being fully awake nor fully asleep.”

“Baby,” Wille sighed.

Simon looked at him with an arched eyebrow. “What did you just call me?”

Wille’s face blushed quickly and Simon thought to himself that it was the sweetest thing he had ever seen. He didn’t know that blushing would be something he was into, but he quickly came to terms with being very much into Wille blushing.

“Don’t worry,” he said for good measure. “I think I like it–you calling me stupid names and stuff.”

“Sap,” was Wille’s only response before catching Simon’s lips in a sweet kiss.

The kiss continued for way too long, both panting for air at some point. Carefully Wille turned them around a bit so he was half on top of Simon. The kissing grew more and more heated, and Simon found himself lost in the emotions of it all. He could feel Wille’s breath against his chin, he could taste Wille on his lips, and when their tongues started to dance together, he thought to himself that this was all he ever wanted. He would be contemptuous if the world was facing an apocalypse–he would just hide here with his boyfriend.

Simon could feel Wille’s body pressing down against his own–feeling the need to touch and be as close as possible. He groaned into the kiss, earning him a snicker from Wille.

He wiggled a bit to get fully under Wille, the weight of the other boy soothing him and making his brain calm and silent. The weight of the other body grounded him and made his brain able to relax and slow down. Stay in the present, if you would. Wille let him without any hesitation–he made room for him and then tangled their legs together so Simon almost was cocooned underneath his boyfriend. It made Simon feel safe and shielded from the outside world. He let the sensation of Wille take over, forgetting that outside this room was a world with people that he feared and made him feel less. 

Hands were roaming all over their bodies, and hair was being pulled at and when Wille started kissing down Simon 's neck, Simon all but lost it.

“Wille, please,” he mumbled in a hoarse voice. Wille removed his mouth from Simon’s neck and pecked him on the lips.

“What?” he asked with a glassy look in his eyes. Simon wondered briefly whether he looked the same?

“I need you to it’s just…” he began stuttering. “We’re wearing too many clothes, Wille,” he finally said and turned his head to the side to hide the blushes that were now showing.

Wille laughed gently before he dove back down and continued kissing Simon, but now his hands were starting to roam underneath Simon’s shirt–a development Simon didn’t have anything against. Simon threw his head back, engulfed in the feeling of pleasure and safety.

Soon his shirt was lying on the floor together with Wille’s and Wille was mapping out every inch of his upper body with his mouth. Simon had lost all sense of time and space, tugging his hands into Wille’s hair, pulling slightly, moaning nervously until there was a loud knock on the door before it opened and Linda was standing there.

Wille flew back from Simon like his quick actions would make her unsee what she had walked into.

“I need to get some groceries. Do you need anything?” Linda smiled at them, looking almost amused at the flustered boys in front of her.

“Nope,” Simon quickly said, blushing furiously. One look at Wille and you could see that he, too, was bright red in his face.

“Okay, well have fun,” she winked at them before closing the door and leaving the boys alone again. Simon was mortified.

“OMG!” Wille exclaimed and slammed into Simon, head hidden in the nape of his neck. “OMG, I can’t believe this, Simon. Why is this my life?” Simon didn’t know what to say so he just smiled a little, not that Wille could see that, and soon both boys giggled at the absurdity of the situation.

“I can’t believe Mama thought it was a good idea to come in here,” Simon finally giggled. Wille kissed his cheek. “I like your Mama; she cares about you,” Wille said before starting to kiss Simon once more.

Soon they were back to what they were doing before they got interrupted and Simon was lost again. He could feel Wille’s hands hesitate near his pants, so Simon just pulled them down himself. He needed more. Clumsily Wille pulled Simon’s pants all the way off before losing his own pants and throwing them somewhere on the floor.

For a moment, they just looked at each other with Wille sitting up in bed, and Simon lying down.

“You are so beautiful, Wille,” Simon whispered into the silent room before sitting up and clashing their lips together.

It was a sloppy kiss. They needed more now; they both wordlessly agreed on that. Hands were all over. No place was off limits anymore, and tentatively Simon let his hands slide down Wille’s back until he reached his boxers, and then his hands dipped inside the band of his boxers and found the place he sought. He squeezed lightly, earning himself a moan from Wille who pressed himself up against Simon.

Feeling brave, Simon pushed Wille down on the bed, lying himself on top of him, kissing him, touching him, exploring the other boy’s body. Slowly he pulled at the hem of Wille’s boxers until Wille lifted his hip a bit. Then the boxers were on the floor as well, and Simon loved it. He loved that this was only for him to see, feel and explore…to know that he was the first one to do all of this to Wille. He felt empowered and beautiful while seeing his boyfriend turn into limp limbs and mumbling nonsense.

He kissed down Wille’s body, mapping out his route using all the beauty spots splattered across Wille’s skin. He went all the way down, down, down until he was at the place he wanted to taste the most.

Carefully he let his hand grip around the base of Wille’s member before kissing the top experimentally. Wille hissed, tensed in his whole body, and then relaxed again, merging his fingers into Simon's curls.

“Okay?” Simon cautiously asked. Wille nodded frantically and Simon kept going, taking Wille into his mouth.

When Wille came, his whole body was tensing before shuddering a little before finally going numb. It was beautiful, Simon decided. He would very much like to see Wille like this again.

Slowly he kissed his way up to Wille’s head again and placed himself next to the other boy.

“Was it okay?,” he whispered, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

“Mmm...” Was all Wille said before rolling onto his side to kiss Simon. “Very!” he then said and sent a bright smile Simon’s way. Simon kissed him again.

Before long they were full-on making out again, and this time Simon’s underwear joined Wille’s on the floor. Wille’s hand soon found its way down Simon’s body, pumping him to the edge and over. He cradled Simon in his arms afterwards and made sure the duvet was pulled up and over them before they fell into a content slumber.

 *****

Lunch was awkward with Simon and Wille not knowing how to act around Linda, who shot them small looks while setting the table. Sara was sitting untroubled at the table, not aware that Linda had walked in on Wille and Simon only hours earlier.  

“Why are you so weird?” Sara asked Simon.

“What do you mean? I’m not weird,” Simon said a little too quickly. Sara arched her eyebrow looking between him and Wille. “Something happened between you two.” She then started serving herself and reached out to take a piece of bread from the table.

“Sara, stop being nosy,” Linda’s voice was heard from the kitchen. “Simon doesn’t have to tell you everything that’s going on between him and Wilhelm. He’s entitled to some privacy, you know.”

“Ohh, now it’s okay for him to have secrets,” Sara mumbled under her breath.

Linda finally joined the teens at the table, and they started eating lunch. It was clear that Wille was nervous around Simon’s family now that he didn’t need to focus all his attention on Simon, but when Simon didn’t touch any of his food on the plate Wille shoved him in the side, sending him a pointed look. Simon, in return, sent back some annoyed eyes, but started eating his food slowly.

Linda cleared her vice and began talking. “So, Wille. How are you finding Hillerska? You transferred in the fall, right?”

Wille put on his polite, official smile and answered, “Yes, I transferred in October last year. The school is very good. Hillerska has really high standards when it comes to their teachers and what’s expected of us students.” The answer wasn’t really that complete, Simon knew, but he understood that Wille didn’t want to share his real opinion about Hillerska to Linda, who had a child of hers enrolled at the school as well.

“But what do you think of the school, Wilhelm? Of living there?” Linda pushed.

Wille took a deep breath before saying, “It doesn’t matter what I think. The next ten years or so of my life have already been planned by the Royal Court. After graduating Studenten, I have to go to university to study European politics and economics and then join the military.”

Simon felt bad for Wille. He knew he didn’t want to do any of that stuff. It would be a hopeless fight to start, complaining about what was being expected of him. The only out was leaving the Royal Family for good, and Simon really didn’t think Wille was up for that.

“I’m sorry you haven’t got a say in that. That must not be an easy way to go through life,” Linda said softly.

Wille shrugged his shoulders saying, “It is what it is. I’ve never expected anything other than that because it has been like that my entire life.”

Simon took Wille’s hand, offering him the comfort he could muster to give right now. It wasn’t much, but it was the best that he had.

There was silence for some while before Wille politely spoke up again. “What do you do Ms. Eriksson? Simon never told me.”

Linda chuckled. “I bet he hasn’t. I work in health care as a nurse who drives out to patients who are too ill or old to go to the hospital for their regular appointments.” There was a pause, and then she added, “and just call me Linda, please.”

From then on, the conversation went more fluidly. Linda told Wille about her upbringing in Venezuela and how and why she came to Sweden. Wille listened attentively, asking questions at the right times and responded in a polite manner. Simon and Sara didn’t listen in on the conversation having heard the story many times before.

When everyone was clearly finished eating, Wille and Linda kept talking, now sharing their love for great Broadway hits. Simon wondered how these two people had gone from not liking each other, or Linda not liking Wille, to now being engulfed in this surreal conversation about Evita and Cats. He looked at Sara as if she could give him the answers, but she was texting furiously on her phone, her whole face in a broad grin. Who was she texting? Felice?

“Is it Felice?” Simon whispered to her. She shook her head, stood up, and before she left the table she whispered back to him, “It’s none of your business, Simon.”

Feeling rejected, Simon slung back in his chair. He was starting to feel overwhelmed by this lunch. Yes, his mom and Wille were seemingly getting along, but there had been so much tension building up to that. And Sara was still acting strange to a point where Simon started to worry about her. The light felt too bright for his eyes, and the sounds were too loud. Everything was just too much! Without any warning he started crying right there at the dinner table unable to stop his sobs and hiccups.

Wille was with him in an instant placing a calming hand on his back. “Simon, what’s wrong?” He sounded stressed. Simon just continued to cry, not having any good explanation as to why he did. Linda moved towards him. “Mi amore, come on. Don’t be like that. We were having a good time, right?”  Simon nodded and moved closer to Wille who was now kneeling beside Simon.

“Maybe it would be good with a change of scenery?” Wille tried. “We should take a walk!”

Simon shook his head at the same time as Linda softly said, “Wilhelm, Simon is still grounded. Even though he is feeling bad, he is still grounded.”

“But he hasn’t been out of this house in over a week, Linda,” Wille started to argue. Linda looked pointedly at him, but he just continued. “And Boris, the psychologist at school, always tells me that taking a walk is good for your mental health.”

Linda and Wille argued back and forth for a short while before Wille finally got what he wanted, and soon the two boys were putting on their coats and jackets, scarfs, beanies, and gloves. It was still January, so the weather was freezing even though the sun was out today. Before they went out, Wille softly kissed Simon, who had remained silent since he had stopped his crying, before adding. “Come on, love. I’m sure this will be nice.”

Wille was right to some extent; it was nice to be outside breathing in the fresh air and feeling the sun on his skin. The air was cold and dry as one would have expected. As they walked hand-in-hand down the streets, Simon concentrated on breathing–just breathing–othing more. If he started to look around and see their surroundings, he was sure he would lose it one more time. The streets were not empty. Children were outside playing, parents were walking with strollers, dogs were being walked, and there were in general, just so many people.

“I always liked walking,” Wille suddenly admitted out of nowhere.

“Huh?” Is all Simon can muster as a response.

“I like to walk,” Wille repeated. “After I had to transfer to Hillerska, I started therapy with Boris, and he told me to take long walks–f not once a day, then at least a couple times a week. I like it.”

“Okay,” Simon breathes out before growing silent again.

There are people with phones out –  group of teenagers standing a little ahead of them. Simon looks at them and recognizes some of them. They’re from Marienberg. Simon halts his steps and tugs gently at Wille’s hand.

“What’s the matter?” Wille asks.

“I know them,” Simon whispers. “They’re from school. Some 3rd years and 2nd years.”

“Have they been bothering you?” Wille asked. He was trying to be calm, but there was a clear hint of anger in his voice.

“No; I don’t know. Someone said I could do better than you, though,” Simon snickered, forgetting for a moment how uneasy he was.

“It’s true!” Wille smiled. “You can have anyone you want. It puzzles me why it’s me you’re with.”

“Wille…” Simon just sighed.

With resolve in his step, Wille walked towards the group of teenagers making sure to pull Simon along. Their fingers were intertwined again, shoulders brushing each other as they walked.

When they were just near enough for the group to notice them, someone called out, “Hey, Simon! Long time no see!”

Simon stiffened and pressed up against Wille’s side, but he kept walking. “Hey, Sebastian,” Simon said. Stephanie and Marcus were in the group, too, Simon noticed, and he cursed his luck when Stephanie stepped towards them.

“Are you feeling better?” She asked not at all concerned. She then looked at Wille and added, “He disappeared from class last Friday, and we haven’t seen him since!”

Now it was Wille’s turn to speak. “I know; I also know why he hasn't been in school.” 

Simon would have thought that Wille would have put on his princely façade and charmed his way through the group of people, but he didn’t. He was standing tall and proud, but there was no sign of politeness nor a smile on his face. He was clearly angry at this group of people who had all played some part in Simon feeling so unloved and wrong.

Stephanie, naîve as ever, didn’t understand Wille’s tone and just continued talking. “OMG, that statement was everything! It’s trending all over Twitter and Insta. I even made a TikTok with it this morning. It’s super cute! Here let me show you,” she shoved her phone up in Wille’s face, but Wille just shoved it away.

“This!,” he said, pointing at her phone, “Is exactly what we don’t need. This is what’s making my boyfriend so sick that he can’t come to school or take a normal walk in his neighborhood.” Looking at Simon he finally added, “Come on, Love. Let’s go; we don’t need to be here.”

To anybody else, Wille probably looked like an arrogant, posh boy, who was commandeering else, but Simon could see in his eyes that he was on the verge of panic, so he quickly nodded and followed Wille. Just as they were walking past Marcus from 3rd year, Simon felt a hand on his shoulder.  

“Simon,” Marcus said “If you ever get tired of this stuck-up piece of…,” he trailed off. “Just tell me; Maybe we can hang out someday, you know?”

Simon's eyes widened at this. Wille was clutching their hands together tightly,  and Simon knew he had to say something. If he didn’t, Wille would lose it completely, and that would only bring more trouble their way.

“Why would I want to hang out someday? I don’t know why everybody is so invested in this,” he said pointing his free hand between Wille and himself. “But you just have to get over it; I’m with Wille. We are in love. End of story.” Simon started walking away before he could his mind and turned around one last time. “Ohh, and none of you are my actual friends. You just started speaking to me after you found out about my relation to Wille; that’s low,” and then he walked away together with his boyfriend. Both of the boys were hiding their panic, but there was a silent agreement that this walk was over and they needed to get back to Simon’s room where they could just be themselves.

*****

Back safe and sound in Simon’s room, the two boys cuddled up in the bed. Wille was, as always, spooning Simon, but something felt off. Wille was breathing way too fast and was clinging to Simon like his whole existence depended on it.

“Scoot around,” Simon whispered, moving them around in the small bed so it was now him spooning the prince. He let his hand slide under Wille's shirt and placed his hand over his heart.

“Just breathe, Wille. Take your time. Just breathe,” Simon mused into Wille’s blond hair. So what if he had actually Googled anxiety attack yesterday after they had texted? He wanted to know what he could do to help Wille, too. He could do that much. For some time, they just stayed there, saying nothing–just breathing in and out inunison.

Finally, Wille spoke. “I really didn’t like that girl.”  

Simon laughed, “That’s my chemistry partner, Wille. She’s the one who ships us, just so you know.”

Wille turned around to look at Simon. “How in the world did we become a ship? How is this our life now?” He pecked Simon on the nose.

“I have an idea…ust hear me out, here. This,” he said, pointing a finger to Wille and then back to himself, “ became a thing when you decided it was super duper okay to text a stranger. I blame it all on you!”

“Me?!” Wille pretended to be offended. “I did nothing wrong! Who was it that texted back to a number they didn’t know Mr. Sassy pants?”

“What?! I’m not sassy!” Simon exclaimed.

“You are the sassiest of all, Simon. And I love that!” This time Wille kissed him on the lips.

One kiss turned to two kisses, which turned into a heated make out session, hands everywhere but clothes still fully on. Before it got too heated, Simon interrupted their activity and looked at Wille with a mischievous grin.

“Let’s play a game?” he suggested.

“What do you mean?” Wille asked, confused. “Like monopoly or something?”

Simon pushed Wille out of the bed laughing.

“Hey, what was that for?!” Wille exclaimed, surprised.

“You are so stupid!” Simon sputtered. “I mean let’s play a computer game. LOL?”

Wille just sat on the floor looking at Simon like he was speaking another language. He had absolutely no idea what Simon was on about. Finally, Simon took pity on him and helped him up again and then set up the computer. They ended up playing until it was time for supper. To put it mildly, Wille was not good at gaming, but who could blame him, when he hadn’t been allowed to do that, or any other kind of fun thing, when he was a child.

Supper was nothing big–just a quick pasta dish Linda had made from leftovers.

“This is really good, Linda!” Wille stated way too enthusiasticly.

“Thank you, Wilhelm, but it’s really nothing special, you know,” Linda answered politely. Sara was snickering from her place at the table and Simon was just looking fondly at his boyfriend.

“But it really is!” Wille continued. “At home we never get anything like this, and at Hillerska the food is just so boring. It’s like the same thing we get every third week or so.”

“Come on, Wille” Simon joined in. “Are you telling me that you never have leftovers at the castle? Ohh, I’m in shock now!”

Wille looked down slightly embarrassed. “I guess there are leftovers from when we’ve eaten. I just don’t know what happens to them, you know. We never get the same two days in a row…”

“You just throw out all the food?” Sara asked, surprised.

“I don’t know,” Wille said once more. “Maybe the staff eats some of it? I have no idea…” 

Simon raised an eyebrow, looking at his boyfriend. “You feed your staff with leftovers? That’s low, Wille,” He teased.

“No, no, no… Listen,” Wille said slightly panicking. “I just never thought about it, okay. The staff gets a paycheck every month!” 

Simon kissed his boyfriend right there at the dinner table, because how could he not when he was sitting there looking all embarrassed with cheeks slightly blushing?

“Can you even cook?” Sara then asked bemused.

All three of the Eriksson’s looked at Wille who blushed even more.

“Umm, I can make sandwiches,” Wille tried.

“A child can do that, babe,” Simon said smiling.

“Well, then I guess I can’t cook,” Wille sheepishly admitted,  looking Simon in the eyes. For a moment, it was just the two of them getting lost in each other’s eyes.

“What can you do then?” Sara kept going.

“OMG! Sara, shut up!” Simon yelled at her.

“Relax. Everybody calm down, NOW!” Linda spoke up. “Sara, behave. You’re better than this. Simon, do not talk like that to your sister again. Wilhelm…” Wille flinched like he was afraid to find out what he had done wrong, but he relaxed again when Linda continued in a softer voice. “I am so sorry my children don't know how to behave. I’m sure that there are plenty of things you are good at!”

 

That evening, when they lay in bed, Simon couldn’t stop wondering how this day had been like a roller coaster. He wondered for how long he would feel like this–a stranger to himself…not who he used to be. He missed being happy and carefree, something he only felt to some degree now.

But being with Wille made up for it all. Being kissed and caressed by his boyfriend was everything, and as Wille slowly mapped his way down Simon’s body that night, Simon thought to himself, that maybe everything wasn’t as bad as he sometimes thought.

Chapter 12: Chapter twelve

Summary:

Simon
Question one: which song would describe your day? Mine is “Who Do You Think You Are” by the Spice Girls.

Notes:

Hello,
Here’s a brand-new chapter for you guys. It was really hard to write this probably because I know what’s going to happen in the next chapter so I had to get all things to line up and stuff.
This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory. Next week I’m going on vacation so I haven’t got the opportunity to add any more chapters. But I can write… yeah… so. Leave a comment – I LOVE those <3
As always you can reach out to me through twitter @KrogagerM

Chapter Text

Chapter twelve

“Come on, Simme! We’re going to be late.” 

Sara was already halfway through the front door while yelling at her brother.“Relax, Sara. Don’t you understand how stressed out I am by going back to school today,” Simon yelled back at her before hurriedly running after her towards the bus stop.

It was Monday morning—one of the worst Mondays you could think of. It wasn’t raining or snowing, but whatever it was doing was making Simon’s hair stick out and act up like crazy. He cursed under his breath; he had wanted to make the best first expression now that he was back in school. He intended to act like nothing was wrong when he was out and about; he could be himself at home where he was allowed to me alone.

 

Wille

I love you!

 

Wille

And good morning, Simon.

 

Simon

Good morning, Wille. Love you too!

 

Wille

How are you feeling about today?

 

Simon

Nervous. Afraid? I really don’t know. Scared maybe?

 

Wille

Don’t be. I’m always right here; remember that, love.

 

Simon

I will. How’s breakfast?

 

Wille

Strange. Everybody is staring at me. Might have something to do with the giant mark you left on my neck the other night!

 

Simon

Sorry?

 

Wille

How did you even get it that big?

 

Simon

Wille please....

 

Wille

It’s like you have this magic skill marking me up in hickies.

 

Simon

Wille....

 

Wille

Like. Have you seen my chest? Thighs?

 

Simon

Omg, Wille. Stop! I’m sorry, okay. I just went with the flow or something like that...

 

Wille

Don’t apologize. I might like it.

 

Simon

You do? OMG you like being marked... I can’t even...

 

Wille

Correction: I like you marking me. I don’t like the attention Walter and Henry are giving me right now. They are brutal.

 

Simon

Sorry; I know you hate attention.

 

Wille

Nothing to be sorry about. That’s what I get for being social with the other boys at Forest Ridge. I should never have made an effort.

 

Simon

Hey! Look at you! Being all social and normal-ish.

 

Wille

Simon...

 

Simon

Yes?

 

Wille

Shut up and get to school <3

 

Simon smiled at his phone glad that he had Wille to get him through the day.

About 10 minutes later the bus stopped at the school and Simon stepped out with a big knot in his stomach. He was not sure that he had made the right choice, but he knew that no matter which school he went to, he would feel like that.

 

“Move, Simon. I don’t want to be late because of you!” Sara snarled when she pushed past him and power-walked towards the school, eager to get to class.

Simon looked up the road at the big white mansion that now was his school. He felt a chill go down his spine even though he wore a thick winter jacket. His mind started spiraling down a dark road filled with negative thoughts; he couldn’t do this. This was a school for posh teenagers with wealthy parents who could afford to actually pay for their schooling. He was here on a scholarship that only lasted until summer. He was a fraud at a white, cold castle. All his life he had despised everything that this school represented, but still it felt like the safer choice. 

Compared to the comments and harassment he had experienced at his old school, he couldn’t imagine this being more difficult. After all, Sara liked it here, Wille accepted it so maybe he could learn to grow here too. And he didn’t want to go back to a school where people who he thought were his friends and classmates talked behind his back, discussing his every move, taking pictures of him, talking trash about him. No, this was the safer option. 

 

“Hey, beautiful!” a voice said. Simon looked up from the piece of ground that he had been studying while thinking all his dark thoughts. He was safe; Wille was here.

 

“Hey to you, too,” He smiled at his boyfriend.

“Ready for Hillerska?” Wille asked before kissing Simon lightly on the cheek.

“No, but I’ll never be. This is just so surrealistic, you know? Me, attending this school, being together with you. All of it, you know?”

Wille took his hand and started walking towards the school building.

“Yeah, Hillerska is kind of scary. But just so you know, you just have to say the word, and we leave. We’ll go to my room or go for a walk. Anytime you need it–anytime you need a break from all of this. You tell me, and I’ll take care of it!” Wille implored.

“Wille,” Simon started. “I don’t need you to save me. I can handle this.”

Wille stopped him in their tracks, looking serious. “Let me do this, Simon. Let me help you; that’s the one thing I can do.” His eyes were pleading, and brown, and oh so beautiful, and who was Simon to deny anything this boy asked of him when he looked like that.

“Okay,” he breathed out in the cold air.

 

“Hey! Wille! Classes have started!” Someone yelled at them from the white building.

 

“Shit,” Wille mumbled and quickly dragged a stumbling Simon with him.

 

“Hey, Walter. Thanks man. I had to pick up Simon; he starts today,” Wille said to the boy.

 

Simon waved awkwardly with his free hand still stumbling after Wille who continued to walk into the building.

 

“Sure, you did. And that’s why you couldn’t make it in time,” Walter teased Wille. “You’re going to be worse than August and his secret lover.”

 

Wille turned his head to look at Walter. “What do you mean? August? What about him?”

 

“Okay, don’t say anything but...” Walter started but had to stop as all three had reached their classroom. Wille knocked on the door before entering.

Inside was an elderly man teaching what looked to be math.

“Sorry about the delay, Mr. Englund,” Wille started. “Walter and I were showing Simon around the beautiful school campus. We lost track of time.” He gently pushed Simon towards a free table, which had room for both of them.

Mr. Englund looked anything but happy about the interruption, but he greeted Simon nevertheless and told him to share books with Wille until he had the opportunity to pick up his own books at the office.

Although Simon was convinced that it only was because of Wille’s title that they had gotten out of arriving late to class, Simon was grateful to have his boyfriend right next to him. Yes, he could feel the other students sending him curious looks, but as soon as Wille moved the slightest bit, all eyes would look another direction. Wille was his shield, in a way.

 

The class was slightly more challenging than the ones he was used to, but he managed to keep up pretty well. His next subject was Swedish. This was the same as every other Swedish class. A bit more was expected from the students, but the syllabus was the same. When they had to work individually in their workbooks, Wille pushed a notebook towards Simon with a message written for him. Question one: Cat or dog?

Simon looked at his boyfriend. What a random question. Nevertheless, he scribbled back: Depends. I like both. You?

The book was pushed back to him in no time. Dogs all the way!

Simon smiled fondly at his boyfriend before he continued with his work. The first day at a new school was not the day to get in trouble, even though Simon had already started to wonder if Wille would get in actual trouble with the teachers or if his title protected him from that. Did Wille’s protection stretch to him as well?

 

Lunch was a new experience for Simon. Simon felt so out of place sitting at the long table in Forest Ridge that he just wanted to leave and go back to Marieberg. That was not an option, though. He took a deep breath and looked around. They sat sorted by years. Third years closest to the House Father and food, second years in the middle, and first years farthest away from the food. They had to serve themselves in the same order – . first third years, then second years, and lastly first years. It felt strict and old fashioned.

Neither Simon nor Wille said anything while eating; they just listened in on the chatter around them. Suddenly August raised his voice. “It looks like someone had fun over the weekend,” he looked with amusement at Wille, who squared his shoulders. Everybody was looking at him, smiling, grinning and sending knowing looks. Then August began clapping down on the table and all the other boys went along with it, chanting: “Wille on the table! Wille on the table!”

Simon felt so uncomfortable. Was this normal? Was this something that really happened on a regular basis? He should never have chosen this school, thinking nobody would be nosy and pry into his–their–private matters. He put down his cutlery, feeling a knot tightening in his stomach. This was too much; he couldn’t be here.

Wille hadn’t said anything, he was just sitting still like it would solve everything. Simon's eyes, dark and lost, met Wille’s across the table, and that’s what pushed Wille into action.

“Stop it!” he yelled loudly. “Just stop it!” 

The room went silent.

“What kind of sick tradition is this! I am not obligated to tell you anything unless I feel like it. And I don’t.” He stood up and looked around the room with resolve burning in his eyes–almost daring anyone…everyone…to push him. . He looked like someone you shouldn’t mess with.

 

“Come on Wille, it’s all just for fun,” August tried to reassure Wille, but that only made things worse.

Wille was quick to respond, smashing his fist down on the table. Simon winced from the sudden noise, and a chill ran down his back when he saw the look in Wille’s eyes.

With eyes cold as ice, Wille looked at his cousin and said, “But it’s not fun, August. Not for me. Not for Simon. But you don’t get that! No matter how many times I tell you that it’s not. No matter how many times Erik tells you to just let it go. I was outed; Simon was forced to transfer schools just to get a fresh start. I had to make a fucking statement as a 16-year-old about my private life! That is something nobody should have to do…” He looked around the room, meeting every single gaze that was on him. “What we share about our relationship is something we decide– you or anybone else gets to make that decision! I hope I’ve made myself clear, now.” Then he looked at Simon and his face softened. “Come on, Simon. We’ll have the rest of our lunch in my room if that’s okay with you?” 

Simon nodded, stood up, and walked away from the table, glad to be done with this excruciating lunch.

Just as the two boys were about to leave the room, August's voice was heard once more. “Sara was right about you!”

Simon and Wille turn around in their tracks. “What?” Simon said in a tired and confused voice.

August sent a smug smile across the room. “She might have mentioned how Wille was able to make you do anything even though you claim to hate the monarchy and talk about how bad it is all the time. Yet here you are, obeying every single thing the prince tells you to do,” August said with his voice dripping with judgment.

“How dare you!” Wille exclaimed at the same time Simon whispered, “Sara? How do you know my sister?”

August only smiled at them, sat down, and continued to eat his lunch like nothing had happened.

“Sara... she knows him? How? Wille, I don’t understand,” Simon continued whispering with confusion. Wille acted fast and got Simon out of the room, walking him down the hall towards his room, but before they made it there Simon hadto stop. Wille was quick to catch his spiraling boyfriend in a bone-crushing hug. Simon was crying, and Wille hugged him for some time, just standing there in the middle of the hallway with him until Simon was somewhat okay to continue towards Wille’s room. He felt embarrassed by his own fragile state. He couldn’t even  get through one lunch and some smart remarks without losing his shit. How many times would Wille have to keep saving his ass and get him out of a situation? Why couldn’t he ignore what people thought or said to him like he used to? He hated being like this; he just wanted to be back to his normal self again. This Simon felt weak and useless and like a burden to everyone around him. He was empty inside–drained from all the emotion and paranoia. He felt like everything good had drained from his life–. except for Wille.

When he looked at that boy his heart felt full of love and pride, because who wouldn’t feel that way about Wille. Wille had been so strong the last month and so. He was standing up for himself and Simon. He was being true to himself and setting boundaries. He was amazing, while Simon was just...

 

It took awhile for Simon to realize that Wille was trying to get his attention.

“Sorry...” Simon whispered, looking down. They were in Wille’s room, he noticed. Why didn’t he remember coming inside?

“Nothing to be sorry about, Simon,” Wille said softly, stroking his cheek lovingly. “How are you? Things kind of got a little stressful back there.”

Simon snorted, “You could say that.” He sat down on Wille’s bed. “I just don’t get it. How does Sara know August? She never talked about him. Do you think that’s what Walter was about to talk about? He mentioned something about a secret love affair or something. And what’s up with that table tradition?”

Wille sat down beside him, taking his hand on his own. “I don’t know. Felice hasn't said anything about those two being friends or anything. As for the table, and the boys... I have no good excuse for that, Simon. I tried to get out of it as quickly as possible. I really did! I didn't want to share anything with them, Simon. I never have.”

“It’s not your fault,” Simon simply stated.

 

There was a soft knock on the door frame. Simon looked up and saw two boys, Henry and Walter? Simon wasn’t sure.

 

“Hey uhmm,” the redhead slowly said, shooting Wille a curious glance. “Uhmm... yeah so just know that we,” he pointed a finger towards the other boy and then back to himself, “we think it was so cool that you went against August!”

“Yeah!” the brunette chimed in. “August is just so full of it. And for what it’s worth, we don’t see you as a lap dog, Simon.”

 Simon looked surprised at the boys. “WTF. A lap dog?” Wille put his arms around Simon, hugging him awkwardly from the side.

“Yeah, so,” the redhead spoke again. “PE is about to start. Should we all just get going or something?”

Wille looked at Simon who just sat on the bed confused and hurt before he sighed and stood up. “Sure. Let’s go find some sportswear,” he then said and started walking out the room.

 

The locker room was like any other locker room you would expect to find in a Swedish school–nothing new there.

It was just the first years who had PE at the same time, and Simon felt a wave of release washing over him with the realization that August wouldn’t be there. Discreetly he started changing out of his normal clothing and put on his sportswear. He never cared that much for sport, so he didn’t actually have that big of a collection of sportswear to put on, but right now he wished he had had some newer and less worn clothes. It looked like all the other boys were wearing freshly-bought clothing, and it made Simon very self-aware of his used clothing.

 

“OMG! What happened to you, Wille!” Walter suddenly exclaimed. The whole locker room turned and looked at Wille. He was standing perfectly still, t-shirt in hand and chest bare. Everybody was looking at him, and he was rapidly turning a nice pink shade in his face.

“Did you get attacked by a giant catfish? You are sporting hickies all over your body!” Walter exclaimed.

“I, uhmm. It’s not like that.” Wille looked perplexed around the room seemingly at a loss of words. Finally, his eyes landed on Simon who just stared at Wille and his handiwork. He was not ashamed to admit that it was him who had marked Wille up in that way that weekend, but he wished people would keep to themselves instead of pointing out the obvious. If anybody asked him, he would stand by that, but nobody asked him anything, so he just smiled innocently at Wille, who was feeling somewhat uncomfortable by the situation.

 

“Really?” Wille said to Simon. The whole room was listening in on them. “That’s what you’re going with? A smile? You’re just…” Wille trailed off, not knowing how to end that sentence. 

Simon didn’t have a good answer for Wille, who still stood frozen in the room, staring at Simon with his stupid t-shirt in his hand. Wille had the most perfect hands anybody could probably have, Simon thought to himself. What he would give to just be back in his bed with Wille. Kissing him, licking him, because yes, he had done that too, and apparently liked that a lot. Who would have thought? Just being with him in their little bubble where nobody could disturb them was everything to Simon.

But they were here, in a locker room where everybody was in their business, so finally Simon found his words and said in a matter-of-fact voice, “It’s true, Wille. You look like that. And now you just look stupid standing there gaping at me. You know how you got those marks… Put on some clothes and get to class, would you?” And then he walked away into the gym, sending Wille a loving smile on his way. Wille just stood in the locker room, left dumbfounded by his boyfriend who seemed to be as okay with the situation and as could be.   

 

 

 

Wille

Can we talk after rowing practice?

 

Simon

Sure, why not now?

 

Wille

I’m running late, and Vincent is filling in for August. Vincent is like mental or something.

 

Simon

Why isn’t August there?

 

Wille

How should I know? I don’t keep track of him.

 

Simon

Sure, no. Sorry. I’ll be at the stables with Sara. Are you finished before we’re taking the bus?

 

Wille

Don’t know. I’ll text you when we’re done. <3

 

Simon

<3

 

Simon had walked the short way to the stables to meet up with his sister. He really hoped that they could mend their relationship and go back to the way things were before all the secrets that they both apparently held now.

Simon looked around in the stables, not feeling at ease. He didn’t like horses. Animals that were bigger than him were a no-go if he had anything to say about it, but Sara loved horses–always had, and if being around them here at Hillerska would help him get close to her again, he would sacrifice his preferences for once.

But the problem was that Sara was nowhere to be seen. He had looked around the stables twice now, and she was simply not there. How strange, he thought, as he walked back towards the main buildings.  

 

Simon

Sara, where are you? I went to the stables but couldn’t find you.

 

Sara

I’m hanging with Felice. Just go home.

 

Simon guessed it was a legit reason. After all, Sara and Felice were friends–good friends– so it made sense if not for the fact that Felice was walking straight towards him seemingly heading for the stables.

“Hi, Simon,” she greeted when walking past him. “How was your first day here?”

“Okay, I guess,” Simon answered politely. “Hey uhmm, have you seen Sara?”

Felice looked at him curiously. “No, she texted me saying she would follow you home just to make sure that you’re okay… she trailed off.

“Ohh yeah. I just thought that we were meeting here at the stables,” Simon quickly answered. “I’ll just meet her at the bus stop.” And then they walked their separate ways.

 

Sara had lied to both of them. Sara had not offered to come home early with Simon. She had clearly said to him that she would go home late, spend time in the stables and with Felice. But then she had lied to Felice saying she would be with Simon. What was she up to? Did Simon need to worry about her too? He felt drained just thinking about whatever was going on with Sara on top of everything else. He fumbled with his phone for a bit before shooting Wille a quick text.

 

Simon

Question one: which song would describe your day? Mine is “Who Do You Think You Are” by the Spice Girls.

 

Then he opened his group chat with Ayub and Rosh just to have something to do on the long ride home. He was mentally drained from his first day, but he thought that he should at least try to make an effort with his friends.

 

Simon

Hey guys. Happy Monday!

 

Rosh

Hey, Simme! How was your day?

 

Ayub

Happy Monday? Who says that? I thought you said happy pride or something like that 

 

Rosh

Pride is in August.

 

Simon

Mondays can be good, Ayub. And please don’t mention anything with August. It’s the name of Wille’s cousin, and he is the absolute worst! He’s at Hillerska too.

 

Ayub

Well, excuse us then. Who names their child after a month? That’s stupid. Like could one be named September too? Or July? Stupid! Anyway; how was that new posh school of yours?

 

Simon

Okay? I don’t know. It’s like Marieberg, but all the nasty stuff is just hidden under a lot of expensive clothing and nicely done hair.

 

Rosh

Ouch. Any regrets? Also, you sound so stupid Ayub. Try to think with your one brain cell. Nobody is called September. That’s stupid.

 

Simon

I don’t think so. At least I got rid of Stephanie as a lab partner,but somebody said I was a lap dog, so...

 

Ayub

Are you for real? Who was that? Rosh, we are not friends anymore. You’ve hurt me and my one brain cell.

 

Simon

I don’t know? Or remember. But uhmm, Wille was really great at making everyone understand that they need to back off.

 

Rosh

Shut up, Ayub. Simon, was he really that great?

 

Simon

??

 

Ayub

Come on, Bro. We couldn’t get ahold of you the entire weekend.

 

Rosh

It wasn’t until Sunday evening that you had time to text us back.

 

Ayub

You totally ghosted us!

 

Simon

Guys. I’ve just been going through some shit right now, and Wille makes me forget about that.

 

Rosh

I bet he does.

 

Ayub

How?

 

Simon

Nope! Not going there Ayub

 

Ayub

So, you went there this weekend?

 

Simon

Ayub, stop!

 

Rosh

Or maybe the prince went there?

 

Simon

I have no idea what you are talking about.

 

Ayub

Was it any good?

 

Simon

Stop it, guys…

 

Rosh

Bet you didn’t say that to Wille.

 

Simon

Rosh. OMG… Aren’t you supposed to be into girls? Why are you interested in what two boys do?

 

Rosh

Because I’m your best friend. I have to be interested. That’s part of the deal.

 

Ayub

Back to you, Simon! Was it good?

 

Simon

Seriously guys…You know I don’t like talking about this stuff.

 

Ayub

But you have too. We’re best friends for life!

Rosh

YAEH WE ARE! We made a pact, Simme. We tell each other everything! So, was it any good? 

 

Simon

…yes…

 

Rosh

That’s all we ever wanted to know, right Ayub?

 

Ayub

The one question we had in life is now answered.

 

Simon

You guys are just so stupid! Why are we even friends?

 

 

Simon was drained of the little energy he had left when he came home, so he crashed on the sofa, not caring that he probably would get a sore neck from sleeping on it. He was just so tired.

 

Wille

Back from practice. My song is… “Mixed Up Confusion” by Bob Dylan

 

Wille

Okay so, here’s my second question of the day: Why did you say what you did in the locker room? About me looking stupid?

 

Wille

Please, Simon. Just answer me… I really need to know.

 

Wille

Simon?

 

Wille

Have I done something to upset you?

 

Simon was woken up his mama just before supper. He slowly sat up on the sofa not feeling ready to face the world again. He was still feeling very tired. Lazily he checked his phone and his heart dropped. Wille had texted him so many times, and Simon had just slept through all the texts. Quickly he typed a quick reply to his boyfriend before joining his mama for supper. Sara wasn’t home yet. She was apparently eating take-out with Felice and the girls... or so she had told their mama.

 

Simon

Wille! I was asleep. Sorry; I don’t know what you mean. Text you after supper<3

 

Simon

Also, why do you know such an old song?

 

After eating dinner and taking a quick shower, Simon ventured to his room feeling slightly rejuvenated. He had the best intentions of getting started with his homework, but he soon found himself looking at his phone and heartbreaking messages from Wille.

 

Wille

I have old parents and grew up in a castle. That’s reason enough to know that song.

 

Wille

Look, Simon… when you said that I looked stupid, it kind of hurt me. I had stood up for you… for us… all day, and you just went all sassy on me. Minutes before, you were crying in my room from being all sad and depressed and whatnot, and then it’s like you just flipped a switch and turned into someone else entirely. What am I to make of that?

Wille

You have to understand that I really like you, and I’m doing everything I can in order to protect you… protect us. But in that moment it felt like none of that mattered when you said what you said…

 

Simon

Wille, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that! I was just goofing around. You know I do that a lot.

 

Wille

But you haven’t done that lately, and I just can’t. Like. How can you go from being sad to being that sassy guy in a matter of minutes? I don’t get it, Simon.

 

Simon

Okay, uhm. I don’t really know how to explain this, but it’s like when you become all regal and princely and stuff. I just put on a mask so people don’t see the real me.

 

Wille

Are you masking in front of me?

 

Simon

No! Never, Wille! I’ve always been myself with you. But the thing is that I don’t want to be known as this codependent boy who transferred schools to get away from being bullied. I want them to know me as me.

 

Wille

So, you’re not masking?

 

Simon

I am! That’s the thing, Wille. I was feeling so overwhelmed and confused and sad and out of place today... like I didn’t belong. But I couldn’t keep breaking down and let you save me all the time, so I kind of faked my own personality.

 

Wille

What? That doesn’t even make sense, Simon. Explain it to me, please. 

 

Simon

But it does. I mean, I want all the boys to know me as I really am. The fun, sassy boy who takes no bullshit. Because that’s who I am. Like really am, you know. That’s how you know me, and Ayub and Rosh too. 

 

Wille

Go on…

 

Simon

Okay, but right now I’m not myself. I’m this shell of myself because I feel so empty and yet so overwhelmed at the same time, so I have to fake it for them to see me as I really am…So I had to act sassy because that’s something the old Simon would have done. 

 

Wille

That does not sound healthy, Simon. I understand why you want people to see you as you, but you can’t go around acting like everything is fine when it’s not.

 

Simon

But Wille… you don’t get it. I’m not like any of the others at that school. I’m just me. And right now, I’m broken. If I’m not fun to be with, what do I have to offer then?

 

Wille

Simon! I like you for you! You are not fake. You are 100% real, and I love that about you. I love that you are sassy, and fun, and have quick comebacks, but I also love to take care of you when you are down.

 

Simon

Wille, Please…

 

Wille

No, just let me say this. You are worth everything to me, Simon. And I will stand up for you anytime I need to, but you were confusing me today, and I got hurt because I didn’t know where you stood, or felt or whatever. So please just be yourself from now on, okay? No more pretending.

 

Simon

I don’t know if I can do that Wille.

 

Wille

Just try. And if not then tell me where you stand so I can understand. Please?

 

Simon

Okay…

 

Wille

Okay.

 

Simon

Second question of the day… Are you ready?

 

Wille

Bring it on, love!

 

Simon

Vanilla Ice cream with or without Daim?

 

Wille

That’s a no brainer–with, of course.

 

Simon

The man of my dreams <3

Chapter 13: Chapter thirteen

Summary:

Wille was waiting at the bus stop, and as soon as Simon stepped off the bus he was greeted with a sloppy kiss.

“Missed you over the weekend,” the prince mumbled as he ran his nose along Simon’s neck. “Missed you, too!” Simon happily answered feeling like this day, this week, would bring something good–something out of the ordinary. He could hope so, anyway..

Notes:

This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter thirteen

Simon

Does this look stupid?

Wille

No, OMG! That’s so gorgeous.

Simon

But like, is it okay for school?

 

Wille

Sure, it is.

 

Simon

Okay, good. Arg, I’m late for the bus. Got to run!

 

Wille

Run Forrest, RUN!

 

It’s a dull Monday in February: the weather is starting to show a bit of spring, but not much. It’s Sweden after all. Simon has gotten somewhat used to his new school. Things are different, but not that much. He misses his two best friends, but they get to ride the bus together every morning and sometimes too in the afternoon if Simon doesn’t stay after class to study with Wille or just hang out.

They do that a lot and everybody at school knows that wherever Wille is, Simon is — except when there’s rowing. Simon has no interest in participating in rowing; it’s just not his thing. Instead, he joined the choir at Hillerska. It’s nothing like the one he was in before starting at this school, but it’s cool and he has met some nice people through that. They’re not friends per se, but they talk to each other in school, just like Wille has started to talk with Walter and Henry. It’s mostly loose gossip and non-important things they talk about, but it’s a start nevertheless. Since Wille talks with them so does Simon, because wherever Simon is, Wille is. If anyone asks, they would say that they are not codependent, but the truth is that they most likely are a bit codependent.

 

Things are better and so is Simon. He’s not back to normal, but the school day and everyday tasks are not unbearable anymore, and he can manage to do things in his spare time, too. The things that are making him happy right now are participating in the school choir, writing music at home, hanging out with his friends, and gaming and what not.

His phone vibrated in his lap and before even looking at the screen he knew it was Wille. Wille always texts him when he’s on the bus.

 

Wille

I hate August! He’s insufferable!

 

Simon

What now? Something about rowing?

 

Wille

No; he wants us to plan a whole bachelor party for Erik even though Erik’s friends are planning one too!

 

Simon

But that does not make any sense.

 

Wille

I know! And he wants me to help plan the stupid thing…

 

Simon

Why?

 

Wille

Because, and I quote, “we are the same, we are the same blood! They are not, Wille. We are.”

 

Simon

OMG! I’m going to throw up. He’s insufferable!

 

Wille

I know! God. He’s following me! I tried to walk away from him, but he is just following me around school talking about this stupid party! Please help me, Simon.

 

Simon

I’ll be there in like 15 minutes to come save you. Nothing scares August away like a socialistic, Latino boy like me.

 

Wille

My hero <3

 

Simon

Shut up, Wille <3

 

Their normal banter had returned. Simon was feeling more and more like himself as the spring was nearing. People had stopped caring about him and Wille, and he had started therapy sessions once a week with the school counselor, Boris. It really helped him a lot even though he didn’t want to go when Wille had first suggested it. Simon knew that Wille went to see Boris, too, but it was not like they talked about what was being discussed with Boris. That was one of the rare things they didn’t share with each other.  

Simon wasn’t the same person that he was when he first met and fell in love with Wille. How could he be the same person now, when his pictures and private life have been all over the Internet, and his name, whereabouts, and more came out of the mouths of nearly every news anchor in the country?  He was also older now… stronger, and he had a better sense of who he is and what his limits are. These were good changes, or at least they would be eventually.  

Sara wasn’t on the bus with him because she had left earlier to go to the stables, but that was probably a lie,  but Simon was at a point where he just didn’t care anymore. If she wanted to do secret stuff and keep pretending to be mad at him, who was he to stop her?

 

Wille was waiting at the bus stop, and as soon as Simon stepped off the bus he was greeted with a sloppy kiss.

“Missed you over the weekend,” the prince mumbled as he ran his nose along Simon’s neck. “Missed you, too!” Simon happily answered feeling like this day, this week, would bring something good–something out of the ordinary. He could hope so, anyway..

The school day started the same way every other Monday did: Math, then Swedish, and after lunch PE and then History. 

 

Simon was doodling in his workbook in Swedish when Wille pushed a paper his way. He often did that, asking the silliest questions. They still tried to keep up the three questions a day game, but it became harder and harder the longer and better they knew each other. Simon looked at the paper and had to hold a laugh. What’s your favorite type of pasta?

He looked at Wille and rolled with his eyes, his boyfriend was the worst at picking questions. Simon always tried to ask questions that were meaningful or important. Wille, on the other hand, tended to ask questions like this one.

Quickly Simon wrote a response to Wille: Pasta is pasta no matter how it’s shaped. Just give me some pasta with ketchup, and I’m good to go.

Simon knew that Wille thought of pasta with ketchup as a crime. It was a topic they often discussed but never could nor would agree on. Wille would not acknowledge pasta with ketchup as a dish and Simon would not not-acknowledge it.

 

By lunchtime both boys went to eat at the dining room in Forest Ridge, as usual. They were walking together with Walter and Henry who were trying to convince Wille to actually speak with people when he was in the common rooms, because Wille only just sat around looking lost without Simon. They teased that he’d look at his phone like it was the only thing keeping him alive. It was all good-hearted banter between friends, because, yes, Wille finally had made friends–to some extent at least. They smiled and laughed, but it all stopped when Henry muttered, “You've got to be kidding me.”

Simon looked in front of him and stopped dead in his tracks. “What does he want?” He muttered under his breath.

August was standing in front of them blocking the entrance to the dining hall.. He looked smug and untouchable. He looked at them with calculating eyes, dripping with superiority. When the group of boys were within speaking distance Wille spoke up with an annoyed tone, “What do you want, August?”

August looked at him with fake surprise written on his face. “Do you really have to ask? We have this giant event that we need to plan, Wille. It’s important!” He looked at the three other boys, eyes landing on Simon before adding, “Wille, I really don’t get why you keep insisting on dragging this boy along with you. He does nothing good for your image nor the image of our family. You have made your point and earned some cheap points with the gay community that you think you’re a part of, but just get rid of him, will you?”

 

“Excuse me!” Wille angrily answered, stepping in front of Simon. “You should think very carefully about what you’re going to say next, August!” 

August looked surprised but didn’t falter.

“You shouldn’t be seen with him; it’s embarrassing for you to mess around with him. . If it was Walter it would be different–he’s noble, after all. Simon here is just… a nobody who will stay a nobody. At least his sister understands where her place is.”

Wille all but lost it stepping towards August, ready to attack. Henry and Walter were quick to hold the prince back by his arms so he wouldn’t knock August out right there.

Simon stood with fear painted across his face. “What do you mean about Sara knowing her place?” he asked coldly.

Wille freed himself from the grip around his arms and turned to look at his boyfriend who had backed away a couple of steps. “Simon?” He whispered concerned so only the two of them could hear it.

August only smiled his signature fake smile, turning around ready to head into the dining room, but he was stopped by a hand harshly grabbing his arm.

“What do you mean!” Simon snarled. If looks could kill August would be dead by now. Wille walked over to Simon who had walked after August when he was about to leave, placing a hand on his lower back to offer support and to ground him.

“I don’t owe you any explanation, boy,” August calmly said and tried to walk away, but he couldn’t. Simon was holding him in an iron grip making it impossible for the older boy to walk away.

“August, speak!” Wille commanded, speaking with a regal and very mature voice. Simon had only heard him use it when speaking to his mother on sensitive matters or someone else from the palace. August’s eyes darted between the boys, seemingly unsure of what to do now. Everybody knew Wille could be extremely angry when he felt wronged or when he tried to protect the people he loved, especially Simon. Dealing with an angered Wille was like maneuvering an ocean full of sharks–one wrong move and you would be done.

 

After what felt like hours, August finally sighed and leaned into the boys, looking Simon directly in the eyes whispering “Sara knows she’s not to be seen with me. She knows and understands why it has to be a secret if she wants to keep fucking me. She knows that she and I are never going to be seen together because she is beneath me, but she doesn’t care. She’s happy as long as I provide her with this fine piece of art,” he gestured down his own body before turning around and waltzing into the dining room.

Simon was taken aback, frozen on the spot not believing what August had just said. He knew Sara had been secretive for months now, but he had thought it had been his fault. He thought it was because he had asked her to lie to their mother without telling her about Wille.. If August had told them the truth, this was a whole other level of fucked up.

“Simon,” Wille tried but stopped because what was he supposed to say to this? August blatantly admitted to him sleeping with Sara but forcing Sara to keep it a secret because he didn’t want to be seen with her. He clearly thought he was worth more than her. It was wrong on so many levels, but what was he supposed to say?

Henry and Walter looked anything but comfortable and excused themselves to go join the others at lunch. Simon just stood at the same spot where August had left him, looking pale and small. It had been days since Simon had looked like this, and Wille started to grow anxious about him.  

“Simon, please,” Wille tried once more, dragging him the opposite way of the dining hall towards the dormitory. They needed to get away so they could discuss what they just heard and so Simon could have a break. That was what they did and always had done—they talked about stuff and came up with a plan… together. Always together.

 

“Is he actually telling the truth?” Simon asked in a broken voice once they were inside Wille’s room. They sat on the floor curled up against the bed holding each other. It was comfortable and something they ended up doing quite often when the school day became too much for Simon. It helped knowing that they could just disappear for a while to gather their  thoughts and then venture back into the world of Hillerska when they felt ready to face it again.

“I don’t know. But why say it if it’s not true?” Wille whispered back.

“He does hate me, you know,” Simon nuzzled his nose into the crook of Wille’s neck before continuing to speak. “And Sara… She’s been so strange the last couple of months, you know? Like even before we started texting and before Lucia and all that. She changed when she started at Hillerska. Do you think August has something to do with that?”

“I have no idea, Simon,” Wille said out into the room before kissing his dark curls. “But, you have been going on and on about how strange she’s been acting and she’s never home anymore right? August has been planning and re-planning rowing practice and even let Vincent be in charge of some of them.”

“I just don’t get what she gets out of that?” Simon wondered.

“Maybe she actually likes him?” It was Wille’s turn to be thinking out loud.

“But he’s just such a…” Simon trailed off and in a sudden move pulled away from Wille. “I’ll text her!” he then said resolutely.

“Yeah, okay. Good idea, Simon. What are you texting?” Wille encouraged.

Simon didn’t answer, but he held his phone so Wille could read the texts too.

 

Simon

Hey Sara. Just bumped into August today. He told me about you two….

 

Sara

What do you mean?

 

Simon

He told me that you are sleeping together

 

Sara

Why would he do that?

 

Simon

You tell me. Is it true?

 

Sara

What if it is?

 

Simon

Then you need to stop it, Sara! Are you aware how much he trash talks me? You? Our family?

 

Sara

He doesn’t mean it like that, Simon.

 

Simon

But he does, Sara! Just before he actually tried to get Wille to break up with me because I’m not noble. He suggested that Wille should date Walter of all people.

 

Sara

But Simon you aren’t noble. Have you ever stopped and just thought of what it will mean for your whole future?

 

Simon

What? What are you talking about?

 

Sara

You are dating a prince. Do you actually believe that the royal family would be okay with you making music and releasing it while dating the youngest prince?

 

Simon

Sara, we’re just teenagers dating! I’m not married to him.

 

Sara

Yet. People at school already see you as one unit, Simon. It’s just a matter of time before the royal court will have to make a public announcement. Do you know what that means?

 

Simon

We were talking about you, Sara!

 

Sara

That means an engagement! Wille will be 17 in April, you in June. Then there’s a year left for casual dating. At least I know not to make things official with August. It will ruin his image.

 

Simon

What image? The image of a bully, someone who thinks he’s better than others just because of his last name? He doesn’t even have a chance at running Årnas sufficiently!

 

Sara

Don’t talk about him like that, Simon. If I can’t say shit about your boyfriend then you’re not allowed to talk like that about mine!

 

Simon

What? I said nothing that isn’t true, Sara!

 

Simon

Sara? Don’t ignore me;I know you’ve read my texts. You always do!

 

Simon looked angrily at Wille, not understanding what had gotten into his sister. Wille looked at Simon with big, watery eyes. “What’s the matter, love?” Simon asked carefully. Wille shook his head, not ready to talk about the turmoil inside his head just yet. Simon placed his forehead against Wille’s. “I’m here, okay. And I love you! Now let’s get to class. I’m sure PE will be super duper fun today. We’ll run hurdles today, remember?”

Wille rolled his eyes. “That does not sound fun, Simon.”

Before they got up from the floor, Wille added, “And I love you too!”

 

It turned out that hurdles weren’t that fun for either of them. Wille had it slightly easier due to all his running at rowing practice, but Simon was absolutely lost at it. He ended up together with Frederika, Stella, and Henry with hurdles so low that they could practically just step over them.

 

When the class was nearing its end Stella and Frederika followed Simon looking suspiciously at him.

He turned around to look at them. “What?” he asked a bit harshly.

“It’s just…” Stella started, but Frederika cut in, “Have you seen Sara? She was supposed to meet us at the stables this morning, but she wasn’t there. Same at lunch and now she’s not attending class.”

“Yeah, and it’s like. She must attend class to keep her scholarship and stuff, and she’s just been so distant since she came back after Christmas.” Stella continued.

“Look,” Simon started. What was he supposed to say to them? How much did they know?

He could see Wille running towards him and smiled his way before giving the girls an answer. “Sara and I aren’t really on speaking terms right now. Something went down between her and Wille and I between Christmas and New Years, and things haven’t been the same since.”

They looked at him confused, obviously not knowing about their fall out in December. “Sorry,” he then added for good measure just before Wille was by his side, pecking his cheek lightly.

“You were the absolute worst out there, Simon. How can you be that bad at running?” Wille teased his boyfriend lightly. Simon didn’t respond to Wille.

“Are you okay, babe? Is it the thing about Sara?” Wille then asked, earning himself some excited whines from the two girls talking with Simon.

“I swear!” Frederika started. “I swear that the two of you are like couple goals.”

“Yeah,” Stella chimed in. “You guys are just so sweet!”

 

“Girls, please don’t talk to us like that. It’s not that nice,” Simon said before turning around, headed towards the locker rooms. Wille quickly followed him before the girls could say anything more.

 

 

When Simon came home, he went into his room at once and picked up his keyboard. He was hurt, angry, and sad. He couldn’t shake the feeling of betrayal that the revelation of Sara’s relationship with August had brought to him. How long has it been going on? How serious was it? Was August serious about his relationship with Sara or did Sara put more into it than him?

 

Simon

How long do you think it has been going on between Sara and August?

 

He knew Wille had rowing practice, but he needed to get it off his chest, to share some of his worries with someone, and Wille was the only one he could do that with. He looked at the small keyboard and the notebook next to it and took a deep breath, briefly closed  his eyes and then started writing down his thoughts.

 

The first hour, I didn't know who you were

But I soon realized it was something you wanted

Not someone you usually prefer

But there was something in what you said

We started to vibe, but it got a little crooked

Shouldn't lie, but thought it was hot

Can't explain, but it just felt right

Because there was something in what you said

 

Simon was disturbed by his phone vibrating, which signaled an incoming text. He laid his pen down and looked at the phone smiling when he saw it was Wille.

 

Wille

I don’t know. Have you talked to her yet?

 

Simon

No, she hasn’t come home yet.

 

Wille

Do you think she’s with him?

 

Simon

How am I supposed to think otherwise?

 

Wille

 Will you tell your mother?

 

Simon

No? I don’t know. I shouldn’t, but he is just such an awful person.

 

Wille

He really is. I’m so embarrassed to be related to him.

 

Simon

Wille... You are nothing like him <3

 

Wille

I love you <3

 

Simon

Love you too!

 

Wille

Simon… About what she wrote today…

 

Simon

What?

 

Wille

About you being with me. It was kind of true…

 

Simon

What do you mean?

 

Wille

About us… what my family will expect for us if we are together.

 

Simon

Wille, what are you saying?

 

Wille

She was right...

 

Simon

Wille you are scaring me now. Explain....

 

Wille

If we are still together when we turn 18, they would most likely want us to make some kind of declaration.

 

Simon

Why? And what do you mean if ?

 

Wille

If we are still together at that point, Mama would most likely want us to be official.

 

Simon

But we are officially dating. You said my name in that statement...

 

Wille

I’m talking about an engagement, Simon. At that time, we would have known each other for two years. Tindra and Erik have known each other for 3 years, but they never made any public appearances together. We did that within weeks....

 

Simon

But we’d be 18, Wille. That’s like... still so young.

 

Wille

I know, I know.... but that’s not the worst part.

 

Simon

What else is there?

 

Wille

I’m almost positive that you wouldn’t be able to pursue a career in music, Simon.

 

Simon

Ohhh, but why not? I don’t understand... You’re not going to be head of state or anything like that.

 

Wille

No, but I’m still a part of the royal family, and we have expectations for the work that we do. But I know music is all you’ve ever wanted–to make music and perform–and I don’t want to stand in your way, Simon.

 

Simon

You’re not in my way, Wille. I love you! You could never be in my way.

 

Wille

But I will be at some point. Mama is right in that...

 

Simon

What did she say to you?

 

Wille

That we are not compatible in the lives that we would like to have… That the two of us can’t work, ultimately. 

 

Simon

Wille, please don’t say that! When did she tell you this?

 

Wille

This Christmas...

 

Simon

Why haven’t you said anything?!

 

Wille

I didn’t want her to be right, but I really think that she is, Simon. I’m so sorry...

 

Simon

Wille, what are you doing?

 

Wille

I don’t know, okay... I love you so much, but I don’t want to make you give up everything you ever dreamt of because of me...

 

Simon

I don’t understand. Wille, can we please talk about this tomorrow? I’ll take an early bus and come to your room, okay?

 

Simon

Wille?

 

Simon

I love you, so much. Please don’t do this to us....

 

Wille had gone silent, and Simon was going mad. He didn’t know what was going on or how it had come to this. This was supposed to be a conversation about Sara and August and somehow it had turned into... what? Wille Breaking up with him? Asking for a time out? Simon couldn’t believe it.

Tears rolled down his face as he tried to collect himself. He felt like he was being pushed down into oblivion, his heart shattered in a thousand pieces. Everything seemed so impossible and hopeless. He reached for his phone.

 

Simon

Guys... I think it’s over...

 

Rosh

What are you talking about, Simme?

 

Ayub

Yo, s’up bro?

 

Simon quickly sent some screenshots of Wille’s and his conversation. It was easier than to explain it to them.

 

Ayub

Dude. No!

 

Rosh

Simon, I’m so sorry.

 

Simon

I don’t know what to do....

 

Rosh

You must talk to him tomorrow. Give him some time now and then take the early bus like you said.

 

Ayub

Yeah man. If you still want to be with him that is.

 

Rosh

Ayub!

 

Ayub

Just saying that it was a dick move....

 

Simon

Please don’t talk about him like that

 

Rosh

Simme, Wilhelm can’t make decisions for you. You have to explain this to him.

 

Ayub

But he has a point. You can’t make music if you become a somewhat Royal, dude.

 

Simon

Why not?

 

Ayub

Because he’s royal

 

Simon

Before him no royal was out as queer. He was the first one. Someone must be the first one.

 

Rosh

What about the fact that he is talking about marriage and stuff. Do we just ignore that?

 

Simon

Yes, because it doesn’t bother me. I just want to be with Wille!

 

Rosh

Ohhh, Simon. Why did you pick a royal to fall in love with? You’ve made it so much harder than dating has to be.

 

Ayub

Yeah, but I mean. It’s you who knows what and who you want.

 

Rosh

Go talk with him tomorrow. Not just text...

 

Simon

I don’t know if I can. It hurts so much just to think of what that talk could end with.

 

Ayub

You have to do it, bro. Otherwise you can’t be sure of anything.

Notes:

Happy Friday everybody <3
As always you can reach out to me through twitter @KrogagerM

Chapter 14: Chapter fourteen

Summary:

Simon:
Do you like spas?

Notes:

Happy Sunday everybody <3
This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.
As always you can reach out to me through twitter @KrogagerM

Chapter Text

Chapter fourteen

 

Monday evening

 

Linda had come home to her youngest crying like he had been whipped. She had had a long and tiring day at work, and to top it off she had to wait 20 minutes before Sara finally showed up ready to head home from Hillerska. Linda knew Sara had difficulties with time management due to her ADHD, and normally it wouldn’t have been a big deal, but today Linda was as ready as can be to head home and just be done with the day. Sara earned herself a pointed look from her mom when entering the car, but nothing more was being said about her being late.

Finally at home, Linda couldn’t believe her eyes when she came home to find Simon sitting on the floor in the living room, phone clutched to his chest bawling his eyes out.

“Simon, mi amore?” She had rushed over to hug him, but that had startled him so much that he pulled away from her violently. He looked like he was in deep agony.

 

“It’s all your fault, Sara!” Simon then yelled, staring at Sara who was hesitating in the kitchen. She was taken by surprise by Simon’s sharp tone. “What do you mean, Simon? I haven’t done anything wrong!” She quickly said while eyeing their mother carefully. Simon stood up and strode towards her. “If your stupid, narcissistic boyfriend hadn’t talked to Wille today none of this would have happened. He hates me now!”

“Easy now, Simon. I’m sure Wilhelm doesn’t hate you,” Linda tried to calm Simon down. It didn’t help.

“August ambushed us today, Sara, and started talking shit about me like always. Telling Wille how he should date anybody else but me because I’m nothing! Because we’re nothing! He is fucking using you for his own pleasure. Said that he was our superior or some stupid shit like that.”

Sara was on the verge of tears–he could see that–but he didn’t stop, because he didn’t care anymore. She had done this to them—her and August.

“And then you started to text all this shit about me having to give up music to be with Wille, and it really got to him, Sara! So now he’s breaking up with me. It’s all because you and August made him think that he can’t offer me anything...that he’s taking everything away from me. But guess what–just being with him is everything, and you have ruined that now!” They were both crying now. Even Linda had some small stray tears in her eyes.

“What are you talking about, Simon? Has Wilhelm called things quit?” Linda carefully asked. He turned around and threw himself in her arms, crying and shaking violently.

“I don’t know, Mama. He said he doesn’t want to take things away from me and now he is all silent and I can’t... I can’t Mama..” his knees gave out and he sank to the floor crying, holding himself as to soothe the worst pain, willing it to go away, except it didn’t. He just felt empty, and cold, and alone.

Linda looked at her son with a pained look before directing her focus to her daughter who was also crying silently.

“And what’s with you and having a boyfriend, Sara? You haven’t told me.” She tried to sound happy and calm for her daughter who had endured so much in her early teen years, but it was only half-hearted. If there was any truth to what Simon said, this boyfriend of hers didn’t sound like good news.

“It was a secret, Mama. Because... he is noble, and it wouldn’t look good to be associated with me. I’m not noble... and that means a lot in the circle he’s in. And I just agreed to keep it a secret because I really like him. He is so sweet and caring and fun...”

“He’s the devil!” Simon said from the floor.

That made Sara cry even more. “He’s not, Simon. That’s just because you don’t know him like I do. He is so caring towards me, makes sure that I’m always okay and stuff,” Sara defended August.

 

Linda closed her eyes and gave a big sigh. “Sara, listen closely to me. If a boy does not want to be seen or associated with you, then he is not the right person to be with.” She tried to stay calm, but if you looked closely, you could see her hands were clenched tightly together.

 

“What do you know about who to be with?” Sara fired back. “You stayed with dad even though he was bad for us. He drank, took drugs, and God knows what else while we were just standing there witnessing it all. He wasn’t just bad for you, but for us too. Did you know that he once hit Simon?”

 

“Sara, now is not the time to talk about your dad and what went down with him,” Linda said angrily. “We can talk about that at another time when things aren’t this heated.”

 

Sara looked like she was about to explode. “Ohh, so we can talk about me whenever you feel like it, but not you and your fucked up problems!” She yelled. “I hate this house and this dumb family!” she added before she stamped her way into her room, slamming the door shut with a loud bang.

 

Simon flinched from his position on the floor, but it didn’t make him stop crying. He felt so lost and hurt by Wille’s actions and couldn’t understand why he had done something like that so suddenly. They had been fine at school…joked around even though Simon was kind of down because of all the drama with Sara.

 

Linda busied herself making two cups of tea–one for her and one for Simon before she asked him to join her on the sofa. They talked for a long time about Wille and what had gone down there and about Sara and how strange she had been in school. Simon told Linda about August and how he constantly was on his and Wille’s backs just because. They talked for a long time, and by the time Linda went to bed, she agreed with Simon that it would be a good idea to speak with Wille the next day.

“Simon, don’t jump to any rash conclusions, mi amore… Talk with him first and then see what happens, okay?” Simon nodded. She was right as usual, even though he was never going to admit that. They both said goodnight and disappeared into their respective rooms.

 

Tuesday

 

Simon was a bundle of nerves when he sat in the empty bus heading towards Hillerska. Wille hadn’t responded to a single one of his texts –not even the goodnight or good morning text they always sent each other. What if Wille didn’t want to see him? What was he supposed to do then? He couldn’t go back home and then back to school again, there wasn’t enough time for that, but where was he supposed to go if Wille didn’t want to see him? Wander around the school grounds?

He walked the same route he had all those weeks ago when he first had come to visit Wille–back when everything was still brand new and exciting. Back then the hardest thing seemed to be going to the bathroom without being seen, but now everything was just so messy, and it made his head hurt just thinking about it.

As he neared Forest Ridge, he could see a person sitting in the window sill looking towards him. It was Wille. He knew that. He could recognize him anywhere, and normally the sight of him made him all happy and filled with warm thoughts, but now the sight of him only filled him with dread. Was this it?

 

“Hey,” Simon said when he was standing in front of Wille, heart threatening to jump out of his chest.

“Hey,” Wille replied, offering a little smile.

“You look tired,” Simon stated, not knowing what else to say.

“I didn’t get much sleep, if any at all.” Wille looked down at the grass with his tired eyes before continuing. “I talked with Erik last night That’s why I didn’t text back.”

Simon only stared at Wille. It was the worst excuse he had heard. Wille would have been perfectly capable of texting him afterwards and this morning; they both knew that.

“Come in?” Wille asked Simon, like he wasn’t sure of what Simon wanted.

Simon nodded and crawled into Wille’s room just like he had done back in December. It gave him a bittersweet feeling of déjà vu. The room looked much like it always did. There weren’t many personal things filling the room, but Wille’s stupid plant in a Starbucks mug was carefully placed at the working desk. Simon smiled sadly at it.

“Are you breaking up with me?” he then asked, deciding that he might as well jump straight to the point. He didn’t look at Wille; he just stared at that stupid plant he knew Wille loved.

“I… I don’t know, Simon,” Wille whispered.

Simon turned around and looked at Wille. “Well, I don’t want you to do that, Wille!” he sharply said.

Wille looked embarrassed, looking anywhere other than at Simon, and it made Simon angry that his own boyfriend couldn’t even look at him while ending things between them. “Look at me, Wille,” Simon commanded and Wille reluctantly looked at Simon. “Now tell me what you are trying to say. No bullshit, just say it!”

“I, I… I don’t know, Simon. I don’t want to lose you, but all the things that come with being with me are not something that I want to put on you. I don’t want to take away everything that you love and that you’re good at!” Wille tried.

“And do I have a say in that?” Simon wondered aloud.

Wille shook his head. “There’s nothing to say, Simon. I talked with Erik.” He sat down on the bed looking up at Simon with big, sad, puppy eyes. Simon placed himself on the chair near the desk deciding that he couldn’t sit close to Wille right now. It would hurt too much.

“Erik thinks that Sara is right, you know. Mama is already freaking out over us and the statement. Not that she doesn’t like you…” He quickly added.

“She has never met me, Wille,” Simon deadpanned.

“Right, yeah. Sorry. But she is supportive of me, but she wishes everything had been made public on our terms and not without our consent, like it did. And she has made it very clear, for Erik that is, because I haven’t talked to her about that, but she expects us to stay together because I’ve made such a big deal about being with you and protecting you.”

Simon was confused. “Wille, why are you then breaking up with me?”

“I’m not. I don’t think I am… I’m just…” Wille trailed off looking confused, like he couldn’t word his thoughts properly. “Things just go wrong because of me,” he finally said.

“Don’t say that Wille,” Simon moved to his knees on the floor in front of the bed so he could hold Wille’s hands. Wille looked shocked by this movement, but he didn’t remove his hands.

“I don’t want you to stop making music, Simon,” Wille finally said in a voice so small that it was almost non existent.

“Wille, I will not stop making music. I don’t think I can stop with that. And I have no idea how the future will be for me or for us, but please don’t make a decision about this without involving me. I will always choose you! You are everything to me,” Simon placed his head in Wille’s lap, looking up at Wille with earnest eyes. “Can I play something for you?” He added.

Wille nodded and soon he was led through the school by Simon who was headed to the music room.

“Just stand there,” he told Wille once inside the room. He sat himself at the piano playing with the keys for a while.

“I wrote this song the week I wasn’t in school. You know… when everything was bad.”

Wille nodded, “I remember you telling me about that,” he stated.

“This is how I feel, okay. Just listen to it.” And then Simon started to play his song. Occasionally he looked up at Wille, whose eyes were wide in wonder and amazement. Simon sang as if it was for his life, and in some strange way it felt like that. Wille had to understand how much he meant to him.

 

I can’t breathe, breathe, breathe

Baby on my own

 

Wille was in tears by now. Listening to this love declaration Simon had made just for him.

 

I can see the future as we're passing by

And we're never stopping at no red, red light

Whatever you decide, just know you're not alone

If you break, then I break, we're not made of stone

 

As Simon played the last tones of the song, Wille was already on his way towards him, tears falling down his cheeks uncontrollably.

“It’s so beautiful, Simon!” he managed to say before collecting Simon in a tight hug, breathing in his scent.

Simon reciprocated the hug just as enthusiastically feeling relief wash over him.

“It’s all true, Wille. Every word. Please don’t think of anything otherwise. I love you so much,” Simon whispered into Wille’s ear.

“I love you too, Simon. So, so much, but…” Wille pulled back and looked at Simon.

“No buts, let’s just see where things go. How everything evolves, okay? Two years is a long time,” Simon said back to his boyfriend to comfort him. “We’ll face the world together,” he then added for good measure.

“Together,” Wille whispered back to him before smacking his lips onto Simon’s.

 

The day dragged by excruciatingly slowly. Simon felt on edge both from what had gone down between him and Wille but also the revelation that Sara liked August of all people. What did she see in him? Why couldn’t it be Alexander, or Nils, or even Vincent? No, wait. Not Vincent. He was just as much of a dick as August. God, what was up with the boys at this school?

To be perfectly fair, most of the students at Hillerska were actually decent people who just happened to have very rich parents. Take Felice: Simon had grown quite fond of her and her “I take no bullshit, but I’m still sweet as can be '' attitude. She was a good friend for Wille, and he really needed that. He needed someone other than Simon that he could confide in when things got tough. Then there was Stella and Friderika: He didn’t really know them that much, but they were always around Felice. They operated like this sort of package deal, and him and Wille had wondered if they were more than just best friends. He knew that they weren’t supposed to gossip about other students when they didn’t like the other students talking about them, but sometimes it just happened.

Maddison was also one of the girls that was in the circle of people that Wille spent time with and therefore Simon as well. He didn’t get her, though. She was fun and independent, shared a room with Felice and all, but what was up with her always speaking English? She knew Swedish perfectly well, so why not speak it then? It would be like if he walked around and spoke Spanish all the time just assuming people knew what he was saying.

Anyway, this group of people has become their group of people at school, and they often spend study hours together. The girls joined them when Sara wasn’t around and Walter and Henry, and sometimes Alexander too, joined them when the girls weren't around.

 

Today, though, the two boys had snuggled away in Wille’s room nursing their relationship after what had gone down the last 24 hours. Both boys had fully intended to show one another just how much they were in love, but being tired teenage boys they had ended up falling asleep in Wille’s small bed, cuddling up together.

 

There were some loud voices in the hallway, which startled Simon awake. “Shit!” He hurriedly said sitting up in bed. “Wille, wake up, we fell asleep!”

 

Wille moved lazily beside Simon, pulling him back down onto the bed. “Shhhh, just stay here, Simon,” he mumbled, clearly not ready to get up.  Simon smiled and pecked Wille’s head.

“Wille, it’s dark and everything. I need to get home. Mama probably thinks that something is wrong,” Simon tried.

 

“Why would she think that?” Wille asked, nuzzling his nose into Simon’s hair.  

 

“I may have forgotten to text her and tell her about how it went this morning,” Simon said carefully. Wille looked at him with a question in his eyes.

 

“I was so out of it yesterday that I spent all evening sitting on the sofa next to her crying and spilling everything,” Simon explained. “Sorry, but I really needed to tell her about it and hear what she had to say herself.”

 

Wille nodded, looking a bit sad. “It’s okay. I just... We don’t talk about feelings like that. My parents and I, but uhmm. I may have called Erik yesterday, as I told you. I can talk to him about everything.”

 

“I’m glad you have him, Wille,” Simon said, kissing his boyfriend gently before adding. “I really must go. But I was thinking… What if I ask Mama if you can come over this weekend? She might not be your biggest fan right now, because she thinks that you broke up with me, but I’m sure she doesn’t mind after I explain everything to her.”   

 

Wille kissed him back. “I would love that, Simon! But it needs to be Friday to Saturday. I’m going back to Stockholm Saturday afternoon to attend some event together with Erik. It’s a Gala or something. I don’t really know what it’s for.”

 

“Ohh okay,” Simon said, perplexed. “I’ll just ask Mama if my fancy boyfriend can come home with me this Friday after school then.” Simon smiled at Wille.

 

“Sounds good to me!” Wille added before Simon got up from the bed and moved around the room to find his backpack and jacket. “Hey uhmm,” he suddenly said. Wille looked at him. “Is it going to be okay with the school? Are you leaving this Friday?”

 

“Sure. I’ll take care of that!” Wille assured Simon before saying goodbye.  

 

Back home Simon hurried himself into the dining room, greeting his mom with a kiss on the cheek and looked reserved in Sara’s direction. They hadn’t spoken since yesterday and Simon didn’t plan on speaking with her right now either. He was in a good mood again and she was not about to ruin that.

 

“How was your day?” Linda asked cautiously.

 

Simon sat down and helped himself to the food before answering his mom. “It was good. Wille and I talked this morning. It was nothing more than a misunderstanding or miscommunication, you know.”

Sara snorted and rolled with her eyes from her side of the table. Both Linda and Simon chose to ignore her behavior.

“That’s good, mi amore,” Linda said. “Did you have choir today? I didn’t recall you telling me  you would be home late?”

 “Ohh...” Simon had hoped she wouldn’t comment on him being late. “We kind of fell asleep, Wille and I. We were just so drained of energy from everything.”

 

“Bet you were…” Sara commented.

 

“OMG, Sara. Stop would you! We were actually sleeping! Not like you and August,” Simon shot back.

 

“Leave August alone! What has he ever done to you?” Sara asked.

 

“What has he done? Oh, I’ll tell you…” Simon started but was cut off by Linda.

 

“Calm down! Both of you!” She looked at Sara and then Simon. “The two of you need to behave in this house. No matter what you have against each other’s boyfriends you’ll have to play nice here. Do you understand?”

 

Both children nodded their heads but said nothing. Linda let out a sigh before she continued to eat.

 

“Mama?” Simon asked in a strangled voice. He was strangely nervous about this question. “Can Wille come home with me this Friday?,” he hurriedly asked.

 

“Sure, that would be nice,” Linda replied with a smile.

 

“And stay until Saturday? He has something in Stockholm to attend with his brother, but it would be so, so, so nice if he could stay here instead of going back to the school because that would be difficult and stuff.”   

 

Linda looked amused. “I’m sure it’s only because it would be difficult that you want him to stay, Simon.” Simon’s head turned a nice reddish color by that comment but Linda continued, “Yes, he can stay. But hear me out: I think it would be a good idea if Sara invited August home with her, too. That way we can all have a nice dinner together and sort your differences out?”

 

“What?” Simon asked, surprised. “You can’t be serious, Mama. Wille hates August. So do I.”

 

Sara just looked at her mom in surprise but remained silent.

 

“He is dating your sister, Simon, so you and Wille just have to deal with it. How about supporting her a little in this?” Linda looked tired. “You used to take care of each other, have each other’s back, and now you are fighting all the time. I don’t like it.”

 

“Thank you, Mama,” Sara whispered from her seat. “I’ll ask him.”

 

“He doesn’t even want to be seen with you, Sara!” Simon snarled, but shut his mouth when Linda sent him a stern look.

 

Defeated, he left the table after supper claiming he had homework to do, which he in fact had, but he opted to crawl onto his bed and text his boyfriend.

 

Simon

Guess what?

 

Wille

What?

 

Simon

You can come Friday and stay until Saturday <3

 

Wille

Sweet! <3 Did Linda have anything to say to that or did she just go along with it?

 

Simon

She kind of went along with it but, uhm. I don’t know how to say this, Wille.

 

Wille

Do I have to sleep on the sofa?

 

Simon

What? No, that would be so strange when you’ve slept in my bed before.

 

Wille

Yeah, but you were not feeling well then so…

 

Simon

Mama wants August to come join us for a “nice family dinner” this Friday. I’m so sorry, Wille.

 

Wille

What?!

Simon

Sorry…

 

Wille

Not your fault. I just really can’t stand him! Did you know he has planned that we’ll go to a spa of all places for Erik’s “real” bachelor party?

 

Simon

A spa? What kind of spa?

 

Wille

The Nordic Spa at Grand Hôtel Stockholm….

 

Simon

Does Erik like spas?

 

Wille

I don’t think so, and I don’t care. I’m just going with it. That way he won’t bother me that much.

 

Simon

Do you like spas?

 

Wille

Would you think I’m strange if I do?

 

Simon

I don’t know. Never been to one myself, so I have no idea what the hype is about.

 

Wille

What? I’ll put it on our list. You know what?

 

Simon

What?

 

Wille

I’ll take you to one next time we have time off from school. Easter… Have any plans this easter?

 

Simon

No, not really…

 

Wille

Then you’re going with me to a spa! Ohh, we can do it on my birthday. It’s in the middle of Easter break this year! You’re going to love it, Simon!

 

Simon

Okay, we’ll ask Mama this weekend but just one question. Out of curiosity…

 

Wille

Yes?

 

Simon

What will your parents think of that? And don’t you have like a shit ton of official things to do through easter?

 

Wille

That was two questions, Simon.

 

Simon

Just answer, Wille! <3

 

Wille

I’ll ease Mama and Papa into the idea of you visiting for Easter. And I kind of forgot about the official stuff, but we’ll make it work… we’ll plan around the events and stuff. It’ll be fun!

 

Simon

If you say so <3

 

Wille

Much more fun than having dinner with August. Ugh….

 

Simon

We can always have fun after?

 

Wille

Ohh, I was planning on having fun before supper too! <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 15: Chapter fifteen

Summary:

Simon was fully convinced that he would die from embarrassment at that moment, but to everybody’s luck he didn’t. He was breathing rapidly and had his eyes shut together. Why did this have to feel so embarrassing to talk about? It was just them. Simon and Wille.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter fifteen

 

Friday afternoon 

The bus ride back to the Eriksson's house was awkward to say the least. While Wille and Simon were sitting together listening to music, August was seated in the front of the bus but Sara was seated in the back of the bus. Neither of them acknowledged each other, and it confused Simon who simply couldn’t understand why Sara was seeing August to begin with or why August was with Sara. But right now he mostly just wondered why they couldn’t sit together on the bus when August was supposed to spend the weekend at their house.

In the middle of the week, Sara had complained that Wille could stay the night when they hadn’t talked about August staying, and since Sara was older than Simon Linda didn’t have a solid reason as to why August couldn’t stay as well. 

Wille had been anything but happy when Simon had texted him that Wednesday night telling him that August would be staying there, because his tolerance for August was growing weaker and weaker each day. Simon knew he had tried to talk to Erik about how obnoxious August was being, but Erik really didn’t have any good advice on how to tackle their cousin other than just go with the flow, Wille. Sometimes you’re way too uptight. August just wants to have fun and look after you at the same time.

Wille had been furious at his brother after this, trying to explain how difficult August made their lives here at school. He changed their training hours constantly so he could be with Sara, but Wille had a hard time finding time for him and Simon because Simon was in the choir now, and he had therapy and homework, and they were limited by Simon needing to catch the last bus home. August was constantly on Wille’s back trying to get him to dump Simon even though anybody with eyes could see how smitten the two boys were with each other. August talked badly about the middle class of Sweden, which was the most common population in their country. He hinted that Simon was a nobody, a gold digger, an opportunist that only used Wille for his own good, a disgrace, a lowlife, a socialistic boy trying to exterminate the monarchy, and of course it was Simon, if you asked August, that had turned Wille gay. Little did he know that Wille actually wasn’t gay, but neither Simon nor Wille had the energy to educate August on that matter. It would take way too long to make him understand even the most simplistic explanation of Wille’s sexuality.

 

On the rare occasions when Wille wasn’t by Simon’s side, August had become somewhat physical–shoving Simon out of the way into walls or the lockers. He made it look like accidents every time, but Simon knew otherwise. He knew that August was trying to put him in his place–to show that he was worth more than the poor, Latino boy. He made rude comments about their father, something Sara must have told him about, and he constantly commented on Simon's sexuality and the fact that he was mixed race.

Simon couldn’t fathom why August had a problem with all of that when he seemingly didn’t mind Sara being the exact same. Well, to be fair, she wasn’t gay, but they had the same parents and grew up in the same house on the same terms.

The bus drove over a bump in the road and that startled Simon out of his thoughts. Wille looked at him smiling softly while intertwining their fingers and laying his head on Simon’s shoulder. They were not supposed to be this close in public, but Simon had found out that Wille really didn’t care. He just wanted to be with his boyfriend on normal terms, and who was Simon to deny him that?

 

Wille

Do you think they will stay in separate rooms, too?

 

Simon looked at Wille and laughed. Leave it to his boyfriend to discreetly text about his sister's weird boyfriend.

Simon

I don’t know. Mama would think it strange, though.

 

Wille

Can you even imagine them together?

 

Simon

Ew, Wille! It’s my sister!

 

Wille

Not like that, Simon! WTF?

 

The prince looked horrified at Simon before typing on his phone again.

 

Wille

Like, together- together . Like Erik and Tindra. They are perfect for each other, and I can picture them having a whole life together filled with love and children running around them and all that fluffy stuff, but I can’t imagine anyone having that with him !

 

Simon

I think we are kind of biased to be honest. And also, you are such a sap, Wille. Why does it not even surprise me in the slightest that you have imagined their lives together? Are you like that with us too?

 

Wille

 What if I am?

 

Simon looked at Wille who was still sitting casually leaning against him. Wille was a romantic; Simon knew that, but had he really pictured their future together? Sure, Simon had done that, but not in the way that he knew Wille meant. Wille was much more serious when it came to planning his own future.  Parts of Simon understood it. So many aspects of Wille’s life were planned in advance for him, so when he finally got something that he could have a say in or plan himself, he took his time and made sure it was the right choice for him. Simon often rushed into things and then saw where it would take him.

“Hey, can you take a picture of me?” Simon suddenly asked.

“Sure, but why?” Wille replied and moved away from Simon, taking his phone so he could snap a picture.

“I want to send it to Ayub and Rosh,” Simon simply stated.

Wille had a look of confusion but also amusement in this face.

“I ask again, why?” he finally said, smiling lovingly at Simon.

“It’s just something stupid that we do. We started doing it when we were kids, just getting used to having a phone and all that. We don’t do it that much anymore, but I just want to rub it in their face that I’m the only one with a boyfriend,” Simon smiled cockily at Wille.

“I thought Rosh was dating this Yasmina girl?” Wille wondered aloud.

“No, not anymore. They kind of couldn’t figure out how to work out or something like that,”

 Simon quickly said before texting his friends.

 

Simon

Guess who has a boyfriend!

 

Ayub

Not me. I don’t want one either…

Rosh

Same as Ayub. You’re not making us jealous, Simme.

 

Ayub

Yeah, man. Same as Rosh

 

Simon

Ohh, come on, guys. I was trying to be funny.

 

Rosh

You’re not Simon.

 

Ayub

Just admit that you wanted Wilhelm to take a picture of you so you could look pretty for him.

 

Simon

Sometimes I hate you both <3

 

Ayub

Hey, have you given more thought on the thing we talked about?

 

Rosh

Yeah? I think it would be awesome!

 

Simon

I don’t know guys. I feel like it’s really risky. What if it goes wrong?

 

Ayub

Bro, you’ve got to put yourself out there if you really want it!

 

Rosh

True! And who wouldn’t love you? You are amazing, Simon!

 

Simon

Sure, I just have to think it over really carefully.

 

They were at their stop and all four of them exited the bus–August walked off first even though he didn’t know where they were going, Wille and Simon followed next holding hands, and Sara was behind them on her own. Nobody said anything to August and soon Simon had to turn around and encourage Sara to walk with him so he would know where to go. Wille and Simon shared a look that clearly said what they thought of him, and it wasn’t anything good.

Nobody said anything when they entered the Eriksson house. They kind of just looked awkwardly at each other not knowing what to do now. Linda wasn’t home yet, and it was all her idea to gather her two children and their respective boyfriends.

Sara took off her jacket and boots and after August did the same, she dragged him towards her room not saying anything to Wille and Simon. August had the disrespect to send a sleek smile their way before getting hushed into Sara’s room and the door was closed with a loud bang.

 

“I don’t like them together,” Simon said to Wille in a careful, guarded voice.

“I know, love. But what can we do?” Wille answered before walking towards Simon’s room.

Simon soon followed and closed his door after himself, creating their own comfortable safe space. Wille was already lying on his side in the bed curled up, looking excpectantly at Simon. Wille didn’t have to ask; Simon knew he was wanted in that bed, too, so he hurriedly placed himself in the bed looking at Wille.

For a while they just stared at one another, not feeling the need to speak. They just enjoyed each other’s presence and their privacy away from prying eyes.

By now they were used to being an item at school, but their needs for privacy hindered how affectionate they were in public in conflict with how they would like to act.

The Queen, or maybe her PR team, had also given them rules to follow.  Simon wasn’t sure who actually made up these rules, but after the picture that was leaked of them back in December and afterwards all the picture that were being taken and published of Simon, both had become hyper-aware of how much they were being watched everyday. Holding hands in the hallway, sneaking kisses between classes and at lunch–all the normal stuff that normal couples did was something they both longed for, but knew they couldn’t have… At least not all the time.

After a while a thought popped into Simon’s head. Before kissing Wille gently on the lips he asked, “Do you know who took the picture?”

He didn’t need to say which picture he was talking about. They both already knew. Wille shook his head. “No, but I often wondered whether Mama and Papa knew,” Wille answered, letting his fingers slide through Simon’s messy curls.

“Do you want to know who did it?” Simon carefully asked.

“I don’t know. It really wouldn’t make that much of a difference, would it? It’s already out there,” Wille said back, breaking eye contact before adding, “what about you?”

Simon let his fingers slide through his boyfriend’s hair as well before answering. “I often thought about who took it. If it was someone from within court or something. I just thought that we were being so careful back then, but I guess you’re right in a way. It wouldn’t undo anything if I knew who it was. If we knew…”

He kissed Wille–gently at first. He would always be gentle with Wille. He would always give him an out if his feelings or what they did became too much for him, for his anxiety, just like Wille did for him, but Wille never needed an out when kissing Simon and soon the kiss became much deeper. Not desperate, not needy, nor sloppy. Just filled with emotions, and love, and trust. 

“Let’s call Mama,” Wille mumbled in between kisses.

“What? Is that what you’re thinking about when kissing me, Wille? That’s so messed up!” Simon teased before agreeing to the idea. 

Wille slapped Simon lightly before finding his phone to call his mother. As soon as the phone started ringing he put it on speaker and placed it between them. This way they could stay curled up together, looking at each other but still talk with the Queen. 

“Hello, Wilhelm,” the Queen's voice was heard through the speaker. “What do I owe the pleasure?”

“Hello, Mama. Can’t I call you just to say hi?” Wille replied politely.

“You never do that, Wilhelm,” the Queen stated flatly.

“I was just wondering...” Wille paused as if he didn’t know what to say or how to ask his mother about the picture. Simon poked his arm to encourage him to continue.

 “I was just wondering... canSimonstaywithusthrougheaster?” Wille opted to say.

 “WTF, Wille!” Simon mouthed to him.

This was not what they were supposed to ask right now. He had not even asked Linda yet. What if Linda said no, then there would be no reason to ask the Queen and put them all in a kind of awkward situation because of protocol and whatnot. 

“Wilhelm, you know that we have a busy schedule through Easter. And it’s your birthday, too. You have family coming over as well,” the Queen explained.

“I know, Mama. But we can just plan our week out from the already planned schedule and...” Wille was interrupted by his mother.

“And you know about protocol, Wilhelm. You are teenagers dating, not an official couple who have made it clear that they are in it for good. Not like Erik and Tindra. Your papa and I can’t be seen with Simon.” 

“With all due respect, Mama,” Wille started arguing with his mother. “I made a public declaration confirming Simon to be my boyfriend and telling people to leave him alone. He is no secret or anything.” 

“I know, Wilhelm. And that was very brave of you...” the Queen tried to shut him down, but Wille continued speaking. “I really, really love him, Mama and I want him to be there on my birthday and to spend my vacation from School with him. He’s already been at Drottningholm so there’s not an argument there, and I really don’t think he will be there just to meet you and Papa,” Wille finished. 

Simon couldn’t hold back the little giggles that blossomed from inside him. Only Wille could argue with the Queen of Sweden like this. 

“Ohh,” the Queen said. “I wasn’t aware that I was on speaker. You must always tell people when they are on speaker when talking with them, Wilhelm. It’s the polite thing to do.” 

“Sorry,” Simon said at the same time as Wille started speaking again. “I thought you knew I spent Friday and Saturday here, at Simon’s house. Why wouldn’t I include him in this conversation?”

Wille said it in such a matter-of-fact way that Simon simply had no choice other than to kiss him right there. God, he loved this boy/man? What were you supposed to call an almost seventeen-year-old? Simon quickly mouthed, “I love you so much!” to his boyfriend before joining the conversation on the phone.

“Uhmm, Your Majesty,” Simon tried not really knowing how to address the Queen of Sweden during a phone call…. It wasn’t something that was on the curriculum in school.

“I would really like to spend some of Easter with Wille. He’s just, like, really special to me. I promise that I will absolutely not get in the way or keep Wille from all the official work he needs to do throughout Easter. I just want to spend some time with him when we’re not in school.”

He looked Wille in the eyes. His eyes were the most beautiful eyes to have ever existed, at least as far as Simon was concerned. He would never be tired of looking at them. Without thinking, he blurted out, “you are so pretty, Wille! The prettiest of them all!” Wille blushed looking hurriedly at his phone that was placed between the boys and it was then that Simon came back to reality and remembered that the Queen was on the phone, on speaker, hearing everything that they said. Shit. 

“Wilhelm?” The Queen questioned.

“Yes, Mama?” Wille replied in a strangled voice.

“I’ll talk to Papa and Jan-Olaf and see what arrangement can be planned. I can’t promise anything,” she said hesitantly. “Was there more you wanted to discuss?”

Thanks, Mama. No; nothing more,” Wille hurriedly said, his smile lighting up his whole face.

“Actually,” Simon cut in, sounding unsure and nervous. “We, Wille and I, we were wondering… Do you know who took that photo of us? The one back in December?”

The line went silent, and Simon looked at Wille with a side-eyed glance. It was time for the truth; they needed it. Wille was nervous. Simon could see that by the way he was biting his nails. Softly Simon removed Wille’s hand from his mouth and gently interlocked their fingers, pulling their hands to his own mouth before kissing them gently multiple times. 

“We know,” the Queen finally said and then added, “But it doesn’t matter. It can’t be undone. The picture, Wilhelm’s statement, and everything else is out there.”

“Who was it?” Wille whispered while looking Simon straight in the eyes. Their hands were still clenched together. Together; always together.

“We don’t know her, but it’s some girl from the Stockholm area. We know from her Instagram story that she was out walking her dog when she spotted the two of you. Without thinking she snapped the photo and posted it.”“Are you fucking serious!?” Simon exclaimed, forgetting he was talking to the Queen. Wille quickly hit his arm to warn him to speak properly to his mother.

“I’m afraid so, Simon,” the Queen only replied.

At that moment music could be heard from the other side of the house from Sara’s room. Simon growled and hid his face in his pillow. He knew what music meant and he didn’t like it at all. Not only because he now knew what his sister was up to, but also because he knew who she was doing it with. He didn’t like it…not at all!

Wille had continued his conversation with his mother while Simon had hidden himself and tried to block out what Sara and August were doing right now. When he was ready to be a part of the conversation again, Wille was wishing her a good weekend and said goodbye.

When the phone call ended Wille looked at Simon and shrugged his shoulders.

“That was kind of anticlimactic,” he then said.

“You can say that again,” Simon replied. “I’m almost a little disappointed.”

“No, you’re not. You just want some drama,” Wille bluntly stated and went on to kiss Simon. 

“I can’t believe Sara and August are getting it on right next door!” Simon mumbled in between kisses.

Wille pulled away from Simon and said with a raised eyebrow. “I can’t believe you are thinking of them getting off while I’m kissing you. Like WTF, Simon?”

It was said lovingly with a hint of teasing in it but neverthelessSimon rolled his eyes and showed Wille his middle finger–a gesture Wille responded to by wrapping his mouth around said finger.

Simon’s breathing hitched and with a strangled voice he whispered, “what are you doing?”

Wille only continued licking up and down Simon’s middle finger, cherishing it like...

“Wille!” Simon sighed, trying to move away from his boyfriend. His mother would soon be home and he did not want her to walk in on them again. One time was enough.

But Wille had other ideas. Instead of letting go of Simon he grabbed him by his arms and turned him onto his back, straddling him. He made a move to remove Simon’s sweater and Simon let him. Then Wille slowly kissed Simon’s hand, moving up his arm. Slowly, ohh so slowly, looking Simon in the eyes the whole time. Simon was frozen, lost in the intensity of the small kisses up his arm and the intense eye contact neither of them broke. Lost were his thoughts of his sister and her boyfriend, his mother coming home from work, and the phone call they just had with the Queen of Sweden. 

He was lost to the feeling of Wille. Wille kissed him slowly and lovingly all the way from his hand to his cheekbones.

”I love your cheekbones,” Wille whispered before kissing them, altering his kisses between Simon’s left and right side. 

“Wille,” Simon breathed out. It was the only word he could get his lips to master. Everything else was lost in sensation, need, want, love, and longing. It felt like an eternity since they had been together like this. Every private moment they had had since Simon started at Hillerska was sneaked in between classes and what little free time they had.

Time spent alone in Wille’s dorm was not for this kind of intimacy. It was for safety and grounding.

But what Wille did right now was for so much more than that and they both knew it.

Wille proceeded to kiss Simon’s nose, eyes, forehead and curls before, finally, capturing his lips in a sweet, loving kiss.

Simon let Wille kiss him willingly, roaming his own two hands up and down the prince’s back, shoulders, and arms. He wanted to be as close to Wille as humanly possible. As close to Wille as Wille would let him be. 

He tugged at Wille’s shirt, begging him silently to take it off and Wille did so willingly, sitting up straddling Simon again and looking at his lips all plum and red. He looked gorgeous like this–carefree and happy. Simon couldn’t help himself as he pulled his Prince back down into another kiss.

It was supposed to be sweet and gentle, but it wasn’t at all. It was fierce and heated from the get-go. Bare chests rubbing against each other, sloppy kisses exchanged, hands travelling up and down each other, legs intertwined, and groins rubbing uncontrollablly against each other.

“Simon, off,” Wille panted into Simon’s ear trying to get Simon’s pants off while simultaneously pushing down into him to feel some friction. Simon smiled at him. He was indeed gorgeous!

Hurriedly he loosened his pants and pulled them off; it was not elegant nor pretty, but it was effective, before helping Wille to get rid of his pants. They clashed back together again, laughing at their not-so-elegant attempt to get out of their clothes.

 

Wille caressed Simon’s face gently before saying, “you are so beautiful, Simon. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.” 

Simon blushed. At least he thought he blushed. How could Wille just say such things out of the blue? One minute they were making out, well on their way to do more than just making out and the next minute Wille turned all soft and poetic saying stuff like this. 

“So are you, Wille. So, so pretty!” Simon whispered back to his boyfriend before kissing him again.

“I could kiss you ‘til the end of the world and never get tired of it. You are everything to me, Wille. Everything,” Simon lovingly stated.

At that Wille hid his face in the crook of Simon’s neck. He wasn’t good at taking compliments, Simon knew that, but it didn’t stop him from giving them whenever he felt like it.

Tapping Wille on his back, Simon continued to say, “now, I think that you hinted to my finger that you would like to do something to me... I’m not sure what, though. Mind showing me?”

Wille smiled at him before whispering, “so demanding!” 

And then he kissed Simon. All the way down his body, down his legs and up again until finally he reached the part of Simon that was the destination.

Swiftly tugging down the tanned boy’s boxers Wille proceeded to show Simon what he was thinking of when licking his finger earlier. And Simon didn’t mind. He really didn’t mind.

******

Supper was… not pleasant to put it lightly. Linda had tried her best to welcome August with open arms, but he made it very easy for her not to like him by his comments about poor people and how he was amazed at how they made their everyday lives work.

Simon and Wille were both grimacing when he came with that comment, Sara was swatting at August’s arms and Linda just sat staring dumbfounded at him before continuing to ask Wille about his take on the newly opened show on Broadway, Six

Wille mentioned that it had been running in England for some time, but he had never been able to watch the show yet. He thought that the cast at Broadway was casted very well, but then again, every production of Six had a great cast.

Simon then added that it would be fun if they made a musical about a queer prince and how he shocked the whole country when he came out dating a Latino. Nobody at the table found it funny considering the fact that it had absolutely broken Simon when the picture of them had been posted and everything else that followed had just worsened his mindset.

Linda had looked at Simon with big, sad eyes, August looked disgusted by the joke, and Sara was angry? Simon couldn’t quite be sure these days, but what got to him the most was the look on Wille’s face. He looked like he had seen a ghost, and it absolutely broke Simon.

Simon grabbed Wille’s hand underneath the table before adding to all of them, “too soon?” 

Linda nodded, “Si, mi amore. We are not ready for that just yet.” She looked at Wille before adding, “If ever. Do not make fun of somebody’s outing or of your own mental health, Simon. You know both things are too important to be made into jokes.”

Simon looked down but said nothing. He had just tried to lighten the mood. Wille squeezed his hand before he spoke up. “So uhm, Linda?”

She nodded as to ease Wille on, so he continued.

“I was thinking, or actually, I’ve already asked my Mama, but uhm. Can Simon join me at home this Easter? I know I’ll be taking him away from you throughout the holiday, but it’s my birthday that week too and I just want to spend that day in particular with him. And I have like a lot of work to do that week, too, so it would be so much easier to plan a schedule if Simon could just come home with me when we go on break...” 

Linda didn’t say anything for a moment while she took in everything Wille had just said. Both boys looked at her with pleading eyes. The room was silent, even August was silent and didn’t butt in with any stupid comment like he would have done at Forest Ridge.

Finally, finally she spoke up, “what do your parents say to this? I don’t want you to sneak my son into a palace again without their knowledge!” 

Wille looked down. “Sorry for that, but to be fair that was Erik’s idea.”

“Erik helped you sneak in that boy?” August exclaimed loudly from the end of the table not able to contain himself any longer.

“Would you shut up!” Simon said loudly before Wille added, “Erik really likes, Simon. So yes, he came up with that plan. Now keep out of this conversation, cousin!” He turned to look at Linda once more before continuing his conversation with her.

“Mama can see the benefits in Simon staying at my place the whole week.”

Simon wondered if Wille deliberately avoided the words castle, Drottningholm, palace, Royal court and so on.

“Simon would not be allowed to show up to any public affairs and he would probably not meet my parents, but I think that that’s acceptable. I will for sure not ever demand Simon to show up to an official thing if he didn’t want to. I do really not wish that for him. It is really not fun with all the people, and press and what not. He will just be together with me, my brother and Tindra.”

 “I will be there too, some of the time. Don’t forget that,” August chimed in not accepting that he wasn’t required in this conversation.

“I wish you weren’t,” Simon muttered under his breath so only Wille would hear him.

Wille squared his shoulders before looking pointily at August. “Let me make this very clear for you, August. I don’t like you, my mother does, and for some strange reason, Erik does, too, but I don’t. I will not spend time with you unless it’s absolutely necessary or unless my mother tells me to. You are the third in line for the throne right now, and that’s why you’re in the inner circle. But once Erik and Tindra get children you’ll move down the ladder and only rely on your ability to run a modern farm to be in this elite game. I tolerate you because I have to, but don’t ever in your wildest fantasy think that I will let you be alone with Simon while I’m out meeting officials, especially considering the way you talk about him!”

If you dropped a needle you would hear it hit the floor. That was how silent the room had gone. August looked like he was slapped in the face by a wet newspaper, and Sara looked the same. 

Nobody knew what to say or do after what Wille had just said. Clearly there had to be something more behind Wille’s dislike towards August than just what Simon knew, and he wondered if Wille someday would tell him their full story.

Wille was shaking with rage beside Simon, and he knew he had to disarm the situation before it became much more serious than just words.

Simon cleared his throat. “Mama, I think it’s for the best if Wille and I take a walk.” Linda nodded and Simon rose from the chair and pulled Wille along with him.

“Thank you for the food, Linda. It was lovely,” Wille, always the polite one towards Linda, managed to say before being led into the hallway to put on their shoes and jackets.

Once outside they walked in silence for a while. It didn’t seem like Wille was going to explain his outburst to Simon, so Simon gathered all his courage and asked his boyfriend in a small voice the one thing he felt he needed to know right now.

 

“Why? Why are you so mad at August? I get that he’s a prick and has some stuck up ideals and thoughts, but it’s more than that...'' he trailed off and looked at Wille.

Wille just shook his head and continued walking further down the street without Simon. It kind of hurt Simon that Wille couldn’t even take his time to answer before walking off like that. He had clearly touched a sensitive subject and he needed to know why. He ran towards Wille to catch up, reached for his arm and spun him around. “Why, Wilhelm. I need to know why.”

He had used his full name – something he never did – and Wille looked hurt by that. “Why did you use my name?” Wille asked in a small, almost muted voice.

Simon closed his eyes for a moment before he answered. “Because there is more to this story than I know. And I want to know and understand and be there for you, Wille. I really would like to be a comfort for you, too. But you need to allow me to be there for you just as you are there for me. Please.”

“Simon,” Wille sighed. “I’m not sure I can get the words over my lips. Is it... would it be okay if we texted? It’s always been easier for me texting. At least with you.”

Simon nodded and sat down at a nearby bench and took out his phone. Wille positioned himself beside Simon and started typing.

 

Wille

I know this is strange, but I just can’t bring myself to repeat what August says or does. It’s awful.

 

Simon

Wille, you can tell me everything!

 

Wille

I know it’s just... I’ve never liked him. He always seemed too sleek and like he was trying too much to be one of us. A part of my family.

 

Simon

Okay. Go on <3 I’m still here for you.

 

Wille

When his father committed suicide, Mama became extremely overprotective of him. He came first because he had just lost a parent in the most tragic way . Mama allowed August to stay at Drottningholm while his own mother was away doing God knows what to heal her wounds.

 

Simon

There must be more. You’re almost making me take pity on him now.

 

Wille

At that time, I was slowly realizing that I liked boys too–boys and girls–and that terrified me. I tried to reach out to Erik, but he dismissed me before I even had the chance to say anything. Our focus should be on helping August, Wille. He needs us the most now. I was met with that reply everytime I tried to talk to him.

 

Simon

I’m so sorry, Wille.

 

Wille

At Hillerska Erik and August became even closer, spending a lot of free time together. August was always home with us for holidays and so on, and he always seemed more important to everyone than me. It seemed like he was the one deserving of a title and not me. I started to get into trouble, but he always was the picture-perfect example of what a Royal should be, and I wasn’t. Mama told me that multiple times.

 

Simon

Wille, you are perfect. Just as you are.

 

Wille kissed his cheek, smiling at Simon before continuing.

Wille

I felt like he took away my family from me, made me look bad in their eyes, and for that I hated him. Or I think I did, but that was only until I heard him talk about you. Then I now knew it wasn’t hate I felt back in Stockholm. What I feel towards him now is so much more resentful. So much more hate!

 

Simon

Wille, what has he done, love?

 

Wille

He’s called you the n-word so many times. Called you a nobody that would end up getting raped in an back ally just as you deserve because you’re gay. He bragged about how he would love to see your family deported from Sweden. Never mind that all of you have Swedish citizenship.

A tear rolled down Wille’s cheek and Simon carefully stroked it away with shaking hands. Simon tugged their foreheads together and he whispered, “Is there more, love?”

Wille nodded and continued to text, while Simon held him close.

Wille

After he found out about the two of us, he actively tried to talk me out of being with you. As if that was ever an option at that point. He said that you were embarrassing for my family, for Sweden, that you looked like my... my whore, that…

 

“Simon,” Wille let out tears falling full force down his beautiful face.

“Shhh, I’m here with you. I’m here, Wille. Always,” Simon tried to console his boyfriend the best he could while sitting on a cold bench a Friday evening in February. His arms were holding Wille close into his own body while he rocked them from side-to-side. 

Simon didn’t know what to say or how to react to this. How dare August say such stuff about other people. About his own girlfriend’s family? He was mad, and sad, and also furious at the same time that he couldn’t hold back his own tears any longer. And that was how they ended up sitting on a bench in Bjärstad for everybody to watch them cry into each other’s arms. 

For anyone walking by it would have looked like they had broken up, both crying, shaking, and whispering apologies to each other.

When the duo returned home to the Eriksson house, the house was silent. The kitchen was all set and tidy, the lights in the living room were dimmed and it was only if you looked closely that you could see Linda sitting in a chair reading a book. 

“Hey, Mama,” Simon carefully said not knowing how her reaction would be after the two of them ditching everyone at supper. 

“Simon? Wilhelm? Can you come here for a second?” Linda replied.

Simon dragged Wille with him into the living room. Linda looked tired as she sat in her chair, a book now placed in her lap.

“You can go this Easter. I don’t think that I can stop you anyway, but both of you need to behave around Sara and August. Do you hear me? Sara was a sopping mess after you left, claiming you never even gave August a chance!” Linda quietly said.

“With all due respect, Linda.” Wille replied. “I cannot allow August any more chances. He has used his last one with me the moment he talked badly about this family, and he does that a lot so... As much as I’m grateful for Simon going home with me this Easter, I can’t honor your other wish.”

Linda looked at him pointedly before saying, “I know that he is... something else, but Sara is really happy with him, so please, both of you, behave.” That was the final word – both of them heard that in Linda’s voice. This was not to be discussed any further.

The boys walked the short way to Simon’s room in silence. This Friday had been way too dramatic for either of their liking. 

Later that evening, when they laid in bed, both spent after another round of fun, Simon found the courage to ask something that had been on his mind for a while.

“Wille?” he started hesitantly.

“What?” Wille replied softly, kissing the smaller boy's curls as he so often did.

 “Is it okay? I mean... what we do with each other? Is that okay with you?”

Wille raised himself up a bit so he could look Simon in the eyes.

“Of course, it is! It’s better than good, Simon. Is it... is it not good for you?” he asked worriedly.

“No, no. It is.” Simon started. “I just... Do you ever think about, you know... doing more than what we do now?

“Ohh...” Wille sounded surprised by that question. Maybe he hadn’t thought of them doing any more than what they were doing now. Simon suddenly felt stupid and wiggled around a bit so Wille couldn’t look him directly in the eyes.

“I just, like... isn’t that something we should talk about?” Simon pushed on feeling his cheeks redden.

“I guess it is,” Wille agreed. “I mean. I’ve thought about you, us, in uhmm... in a lot of ways, you know?”

“But Wille. I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. And I don’t want to overstep. In case you don’t want to talk about it or something,” Simon sighed.

“Ohh...” was Wille’s reply yet again.

They laid for a while in the dark room in a somewhat uncomfortable silence. Simon was sure that he had scared the prince for good with his attempt to talk about the physical aspects of the relationship, but he didn’t want them to have any miscommunication or doubts when it came to this. This was something that mattered to him. It was special and it shouldn’t be ruined or made awkward because they had different expectations or wanted to try different things.

After what felt like ages, Wille spoke up.

“I have thought of you in every single way imaginable, Simon” he started, “but you have to understand that this is very hard for me to speak about. I’m not used to speaking about stuff like this at all! With anybody.”

 Simon nodded but said nothing, letting Wille figure out his thoughts and words. 

“I really would love to like... go, you know... all the way with you someday,” he hid his face in Simon’s curls and inhaled, which made Simon all kinds off happy and giggly, knowing his Wille found comfort in smelling his scent. “I have thought about that a lot, Simon. The thought of you and me together like that is just... wow, you know?”

“Yeah. Same for me,” Simon whispered and pressed his back closer to Wille. “How do you... uhmm, who would, you know? Do what?” he then added weakly.

“I don’t think that I care,” Wille blankly stated. 

Simon instantly regretted that he had brought up this conversation. He was so turned on, so hard under the duvet, that he felt he couldn’t focus probably, but he knew he should. This was important. And besides that. They had just gotten off merely 30 minutes ago. He needed to control himself. 

“I always imagined that I wouldn’t be allowed to have this, what we have, with a boy. I never thought that I would be able to come out and just be me, so I never pictured myself with one before I met and fell in love with you. Not really at least,” Wille continued sounding a bit sad. He pulled Simon even closer to his body. Simon could feel that Wille was excited too but didn’t comment on that; he just enjoyed the closeness and vulnerability they shared in that moment, even though the conversation was a bit awkward.

“I don’t mind either, I think,” Simon then said. “I mean, and I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but uhmm, I have played with myself. Not just my dick but like... fingering myself. And uhmmm, yeah I liked it… a lot… so, there is that.”

Simon was fully convinced that he would die from embarrassment at that moment, but to everybody’s luck he didn’t. He was breathing rapidly and had his eyes shut together. Why did this have to feel so embarrassing to talk about? It was just them. Simon and Wille.

He could feel Wille kissing his neck and back. Small comforting kisses soothing Simon and making him calm down again.

When he was fully relaxed Wille spoke up. “Same for me, Simon. I mean. I’ve done the same things as you have and I’m quite fond of it too, so maybe. Like when the time is right and we’re both there... we can take it further?”

Simon smiled, “okay.”

“Okay,” Wille echoed.

 

 The next morning, they didn’t have a lot of time to themselves before Wille was picked up. After breakfast Simon let him take a quick shower alone so he would be ready for when Erik came to pick him up. 

While Wille was in the shower Simon played around with his keyboard, happy and content. He didn’t notice when Wille came back to the room after his shower. He was so lost in his music that he simply didn’t have eyes for anything else.

It was first when Wille threw himself down on the bed that Simon took notice of him.

“Hi,” Simon greeted with a smile. “Is that what you are wearing today?”

Wille smiled at him and rolled his eyes. “Course not! Erik is bringing my suit. This is all just for you!”

“I’m lucky then,” Simon giggled and took an extra look at Wille who was wearing his Hillerska sweatshirt and a pair of worn sweats. He moved towards his boyfriend to give him a sweet kiss before they both fell back to what they were doing. Simon playing music and singing softly and Wille looking at Simon in a non-creepy way.

Sooner than later the doorbell was heard.

“That’s probably Erik,” Wille mumbled and pushed himself off the bed, pulling Simon with him while doing so. The two boys tiptoed down the hall as if the whole house hadn’t already heard the doorbell.

“You gotta be kidding me!” Wille exclaimed in a whisper. 

At the front door stood none other than August, chatting away with Erik like it was his house and him who needed to welcome the Crown Prince.

“Do you always greet people like that in other people’s houses?” Simon spat at him.

Sara looked at Simon like her eyes could kill him, clearly not impressed with what he had just said.

“Hey! Wille, Simon!” Erik luckily exclaimed walking past August to wrap his brother in a hug before moving on and doing the same with Simon. August looked like he had been slapped in the face. “It’s been way too long since I last saw you, Simon! How are you doing? Is Hillerska treating you well?”

 “Ohh, uhm. Yeah I guess,” Simon mumbled a bit taken back by Erik’s straightforward politeness.

“Are you going to introduce us, Wille?” a gentle voice behind Erik asked.

“Ohh, yeah. Simon this is Tindra, Tindra this is my Simon... my boyfriend” Willy shyly said.

Simon and Tindra shook hands before she and Erik were introduced to the rest of the Eriksson household, which was now joined by Linda as well.

Tindra and Erik were already in their formal attire, only waiting on Wille to get changed so they could drive back to Stockholm. No one in the house was prepared for Tindra being there too, only expecting Erik to show up. It had made both Sara and Linda a bit confused not being prepared to house another, almost, royal.

“I didn’t know Tindra was attending, too,” Wille said when taking his suit that Erik handed him. “Why do I need to go if she’s there too?”

“Wille,” Erik started looking sympatheticly at his brother. “You are the Prince of Sweden. You need to show your face sometimes, even though you hate it. As for Tindra,” he stopped and looked lovingly at his fiancé before he continued. “Mama and the court thinks it’s a good idea that the whole of the next generation shows up together. She’s already popular with the people, so we need to show that she is serious about marrying into the Royal family while we have the upper hand.” 

Simon looked at Wille who looked anything but impressed by Erik's speech. He was rubbing his chest harshly, so without further thought he walked over to his boyfriend and turned them around, so they had the illusion of privacy.

“Are you okay?” Simon whispered while moving his arms around Wille in a comforting hug.

“No, I don’t want to do this. I hate this,” Wille whispered back.

“I know, love,” Simon said and placed a light kiss on his cheek. “But it’s part of the job, and you will do absolutely fine! I know you, and you’re amazing, Wille! Now I need you to go change into your fancy suit and then go be awesome at this boring event!” And with that he pushed Wille in the general direction of his room so he could go change.

Notes:

Hello, hope this was something you enjoyed. I wrote this chapter on my vacation while being sick. Yep. I’m that lucky! Next chapter is almost fully written and then my lovely beta @escapethrustory have some time to look at all my many, many mistakes.
As always, comments make my day <3
As always you can reach out to me through twitter @KrogagerM

Chapter 16: Chapter sixteen

Summary:

Simon and Wille had talked about what they were going to do about the ball. Everybody knew that they were a couple, but should they go to the ball together, just the two of them, or should they tag along with some of their friends? In the end they had decided it would be best if they went with their friends, not wanting to wake the Queen’s fury by being too intimate or something stupid like that.

Notes:

Happy Monday everybody. I hope you all had an amazing weekend full of love and cuddles. (I didn’t. I was working the whole weekend – Don’t ever become self-employed)
You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @Mkrogager
This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.

Chapter Text

Chapter sixteen

“Jean Baptiste Bernadotte was the first king of the House of the Bernadotte which is in fact the current dynasty here in Sweden,” the teacher looked at Wille with pride in her eyes before continuing her speech. “He was born in France in 1763 and he was named heir to the Swedish throne in 1810. That’s when he took the name King Karl XIV Johan,” she continued her rant about the Swedish monarchy and how it had become what it is today.

Simon listened halfheartedly. History was really not his thing, but he knew Wille loved the subject so he let the other boy concentrate in those lessons as opposed to others where Simon would happily send notes to Wille and Wille likewise. He looked at his boyfriend and expected to see an engaged and curious look at his face like usual, but this special lesson was not something he seemed to enjoy.

Simon snickered at him. Wille looked like he was ready for the floor to swallow him whole.

In a quick decision Simon wrote a little note and pushed it towards Wille.

Having fun, babe?

Wille looked at Simon with embarrassment written all over his face before he hastily wrote a reply.

I hate this! If I wanted a history lesson on my own family, I would ask Mama…. Or just take a walk down one of the halls at the castles.

Simon couldn’t hide the laugh that escaped him. Wille liked history, but apparently not his own.

“Anything you care to share with us, Simon?” their teacher called him out.

Simon shook his head a little too unconvincingly but without saying anything directly back at their teacher. What was he supposed to say? That he found it endearing that his boyfriend was a nerd who loved history, and plants, and had a crazy obsession with tomato plants in general but also anything Harry Potter related, and that it was the funniest thing that he hated his own history – which was a mandatory thing to be taught about in the Swedish schools? No, he couldn’t do that unless he wanted to embarrass Wille further.

“I was just telling Simon that we walked through a room with a really big painting of Jean Baptiste Bernadotte the last time he was at my place.” He turned around to look at Simon before adding, “You know the big one where he’s on a horse. The one in the green room.”

Simon looked at Wille in bemusement but played along. “Ahh yeah, I remember that one. That’s him?”

Wille nodded and sent a polite smile towards their teacher who was at a loss for words. Simon could understand her to a certain degree. One did not learn how to answer in this kind of conversation. Finally, she decided to say “very well” before continuing her rant about how the House of Bernadotte had ruled in both Sweden and Norway at the same time from 1818 until 1905 when Norway once again regained their own monarchy.

Before the lesson finally ended, their teacher addressed the class: “Next week we will move on to learn about the Kalmar union and what it meant to the countries in it. We will work with that and the period for the next two months or so. When we reach May you will be doing group work about the different Kings that have ruled Sweden. The work will end in a presentation for the class on the 6th of June, which is of course our national day! Exciting, right?” 

Simon was not interested to say the least. He looked at Wille who went pale at the mention of a presentation in front of the class. Simon wrote a quick note to Wille, shoving it in his general direction.

You want to do a presentation about your mother?  

Wille read it as soon as it was in front of him only to scribble a hasty reply.

Shut up, will you! Besides, Mama is a queen, not a King. Maybe I’ll do a presentation about Grandpapa, though. He did a lot of kinging.

Simon looked at Wille unimpressed.

Kinging, really? Is that a word you use in your family?

Wille only smiled at him and nodded before turning his attention back to the teacher.   That they were happy when the lesson was finally over was an understatement.

Wille

Would you prefer a green sitting room or a blue sitting room?

 

Simon

WTF, Wille? Who are you and what have you done to my boyfriend?

 

Simon

Blue, you look better in blue so therefore it must be blue.

 

Wille

You’re such a sap!

 

Simon

Only for you! Where are you?

 

Wille

On my way to rowing. Thought you had choir in 5?

 

Simon

I have! You just disappeared so fast after last period that I almost worried about you.

 

Wille

I had to get away fast in case the teacher wanted to chat with me. I do not like discussing family history with anybody. It just feels odd in some way.

 

Simon

I would imagine. Okay, listen. This my first question of the day: How many of your family members have been beheaded by a king?

 

Wille

OMG! That is morbid, Simon!

 

Simon

Not any more morbid than making a musical about 6 Tudor wives that almost all died after they married a king and now are competing against each other to find out who had it worst of the 6 of them.

 

Wille

True, sort of… But I don’t know. That’s not something we talk about at home.

 

Simon

Would make up for a lovely dinner conversation, don’t you think?

 

Wille

Simon, Stop. You’re an ass!

 

Simon

You still love me!

 

Simon

Hey! Want to see something beautiful I just found?

 

Wille

Sure…

 

Simon

 

Wille

……

 

Simon

You should wear this more often. It’s kind of hot, you know.

 

Wille

Stop, I’m on my way to the locker rooms. I need to change!

 

Simon

Maybe you should just stop looking so good all the time. I mean. God, Wille. You make me want to do all kinds of unspeakable things to you!

 

Wille

Simon…

 

Simon

And the way you blushed throughout history today! So adorable. I didn’t know adorable would do the trick for me, but I’m totally into my boyfriend being adorable, and embarrassed, and blushing…

 

Wille

I swear, Simon. Stop.

 

Simon

What if I don’t?

 

Wille

Then I think I’m in need of a cold shower before practice and August would never stop bugging me about that. Please stop, Simon.

 

Simon

Urg…. August. You had to go and mention him, didn’t you.

 

Wille

Well, it’s him who’s actually looking at me and not you, so I don’t know why you get all pissy.

 

Simon

Just go do your stupid rowing thing and I’ll go be amazing at choir.

 

Wille

You’re always amazing <3

 

Simon

Who’s the sap now <3

 

Simon put away his phone and ventured into the choir room only 2 minutes late, which wasn’t that bad for him all things taken into consideration.

They were rehearsing a song that they needed to perform at the school's Valentine’s Ball. It wasn’t something Simon cared for in particular, but he knew that most of the girls were thrilled to get dressed up in 17th century costumes and play rich old nobles for a night. He just felt a thrill knowing he had to perform for the whole school, something he had never done before.

Simon and Wille had talked about what they were going to do about the ball. Everybody knew that they were a couple, but should they go to the ball together, just the two of them, or should they tag along with some of their friends? In the end they had decided it would be best if they went with their friends, not wanting to wake the Queen’s fury by being too intimate or something stupid like that.

They would go together in one big group: Walter, Henry, Simon, Wille, Felice, Stella, Fredericka, Maddie and Sara.

Simon was looking forward to it! Hanging out with their friends was becoming something they did now. At study hours they would be sitting together, helping each other, or just gossiping about school and what not. It was nice having more friends beyond Wille, Ayub, and Rosh to talk with about stuff. 

After choir Simon had some time before he had to catch the bus, so he went over to the gym to find Wille. He knew he wasn’t quite done with rowing just yet, but he just wanted to get a glimpse of him before they parted for the day.

As soon as Simon set foot in the gym August’s eyes zoomed in on him.

“What are you doing here?” He yelled through the gym, making everybody look his way. “This is a training session for the rowing team only!”

“Oh uhmm,” Simon didn’t know how to respond and opted to just send a little wave Wille’s way. God he looked good in his sweaty training clothes. 

August stepped closer to Simon looking him up and down as if to challenge him in some way.

“What’s your problem?” Simon exclaimed, tired of August’s smugness.

“My problem is…” August started and stepped so close to Simon that he could feel his breath on his face. “That you just think that you can woo Wilhelm and get a free ticket to the top. Not like Sara who has to fight her way to the top. She will do absolutely anything to rise in society and forget her dull, normal family. She knows that she has to change in order to fit in here at Hillerska, and she will happily do that. She will cut her ties to your family if I ask her to do that in order to become someone. You, you just want to sit in a circle and sing silly songs while you rely on Wilhelm to sort everything out for you. Don’t you want to be better? Be worth more than what your drug addicted father and immigrant mother made you worth?”

“What’s going on?” Wille’s voice was heard near them as he walked up to August and Simon.

“Nothing for you to worry about. Go back to your training,” August snapped at Wille.

“August was just telling me how I basically use you to, what, rise in society. That I don’t fight my own battles like Sara does,” Simon said to Wille without telling him the more serious things August just had let out. 

“August, WTF?” Wille asked, looking confused at his cousin. 

“But don’t you see it? Why can’t you see it?” August said to Wille. “He doesn’t want to change one bit to fit into your, our, world. He is just using your position, Wille! I bet he knew very well who you were before he texted you back.”

“How do you know about our texts?” Simon quickly asked with panic in his eyes. Their texts were personal and only for them to see. What if August somehow had gotten access to their texts? Simon’s breathing started to quicken and like on cue, Wille put his arm around Simon and mumbled into his curls, “it’s okay, Simon. We’re going to be okay.”

“Sara told me how you met. Texting of all things. That’s so unbecoming for someone like you, Wille,” August told them, sending a smirk Simon’s way.

“She told you?” was Simon’s only response.

 Wille tugged him closer to his side to offer support to Simon who was clearly struggling.

“Now everybody back to what you were doing!” August yelled out to the rest of the boys before turning around leaving Simon and Wille. 

“Are you okay?” Wille asked once they were alone.

Simon shrugged his shoulders not knowing what to answer. He wasn’t okay with Sara telling August about his private stuff, and he wasn’t okay with the way Sara apparently felt ashamed of her family. He still didn’t like August nor the fact that he dated his sister, but then again, he just didn’t have the energy to care that much anymore.

All the drama that had come into his life only started when he got to know Wille. Finding his way in this maze of drama that his life was right now took all of his energy. Sure, things were not as bad as they were at the start of the year, but some days were still pretty shitty and draining and he just wished that he could get a break from it all. He felt like his world was only seconds from falling apart and dragging him with it. He had tried to release all the negative feelings with Boris in their sessions, but everything was starting to be too much again. 

“I’m heading home. Text me when you are done, okay?” Simon opted to say to Wille before walking out of the gym.

Simon

Hey guys, wanna hang out today?

 

Rosh

SIMON!!! Would love to but I have football. I can come by after though?

 

Ayub

Yo Simme my man! Give me like 30 minutes and I’m there

 

Simon

Nice! Been too long since we last were together

 

Ayub

Hey, it’s not us who transfered to a fancy new school

 

Rosh

Or got yourself a fancy new boyfriend

 

Simon

Okay, okay. I know I have been kind of distracted lately, but everything has just been so intense!

 

Rosh

How so?

 

Simon

Like, dating Wille and what comes with it. Sara is dating August of all people. Fitting in at Hillerska

 

Ayub

Does Sara have a boyfriend! You didn’t tell us? Rosh did you know?

 

Rosh

Nope... Simme, you have to keep us in the loop!

 

Simon

Okay, so she is basically dating this dumbass who wants to keep her a secret and not be seen with her, but then last weekend both he and Wille were invited for supper by Mama so he had to be seen with Sara and he keeps saying all these rude things about me and our family and Sara is just fine with it all.

 

Ayub

WTF

 

Rosh

Wow, WTF! I have to hear more about that tonight! I have to go. See you guys later

 

Simon

Later, Rosh

 

Ayub

See you

 

Ayub

Sara has always been easy to impress and get to. She’s not Independent like you are in that regard.

 

Simon

I know. I just really worry about her, but she seems happy with him. I just don’t get it

 

Ayub

Maybe you don’t have to get it, but just be there for her when it all goes to shit.

 

Simon

Maybe...

They ended their chat, Ayub claiming that he was not meant to drive his scooter and text at the same time. Simon went into the kitchen to fetch a satsuma before sitting down to wait for his friend. He was home alone; Sara was still at the school and their mom works an afternoon/evening shift. As he peeled the satsuma he started to think about what he wanted for his life. He wasn’t ashamed of his family or who he was. Sure, he didn’t like to talk about his father nor think about him, but he was still a part of his history and someone who had shaped Simon to be who he was today. He was proud of who he was and how he acted. He knew he loved music and wanted to be an artist, but was that really something he could pursue when he was with Wille?

Wille had had the same concerns earlier, which had led him to almost break up with Simon. But Simon didn’t want that and they had worked things out, but what if Wille was right? What if they couldn’t be together if he decided to become an artist, with a publicly known face. He understood that it didn’t fit well with the Royal Court’s preferred image for Wille, but Wille was only a Prince after all. He was not the Crown Prince himself so maybe it could be accepted within the royal court?

Simon shook his head, surprised at how easily he had thought about himself and Wille in the future–how it just seemed natural that they would stay together. He really hopes that they will.

When Ayub arrived Simon tried to explain these thoughts to him and Ayub listened and really tried to see things from Simon’s perspective; he really did. But Ayub hadn’t been subject to the same behind-the-curtains-view of the Royal Court as Simon had in a small amount, so he struggled with not just seeing what happend as a bad idea.

“But bro, can’t you just reach out to some labels as we talked about earlier?” He tried to ask Simon.

“I don’t know. What if all I get is rejections?” Simon wondered.

“Then at least you have tried it. You gave it a shot instead of just giving up before even trying,” Ayub answered. He started typing away on Simon’s computer which was placed between them on the dining table.

“Look there are like at least 10 different labels here in Stockholm you can contact,” he then added and showed Simon the screen.

“You really think that I should do it?” Simon asked.

“Yeah, bro!” Ayub said back to him.

“I just feel like… I don’t know. That I’m putting myself out there for everybody to slaughter. The songs are pretty personal, after all,” Simon tried to explain. 

“That’s what makes them so good, Simon,” Ayub tried to explain. “You are putting your soul into your songs and it makes us, the listeners, relate to you! Just give it a try.”

“Okay, okay let’s do this!” Simon finally decided.

They used the next hour or so to reach out to different record labels, sending them demos of Simon’s songs and whatnot. Both of them got really into the excitement of finally doing this–something they had talked about so many times, but Simon was never quite sure about. He had talked to his mom about this before everything with Wille went down. It was at that time she had put her foot down and demanded that he would get a college education as well. He was allowed to pursue his dream about making music, but she wanted him to have a proper education as a backup plan. Simon didn’t like that backup plan, but if that was the thing that made his mom relax at night he would do it for her.

“I come bearing gifts!” Rosh’s voice was suddenly heard through the front door and Simon and Ayub hurriedly greeted her and helped her with the two pizzas she had brought with her.

“Rosh, it’s so good to see you again!” Simon exclaimed and gave her a hug after placing the pizzas on the dining table.

“Er, who are you and what have you done to Simon?” Rosh jokingly asked while hugging him back. “I swear that you are getting more and more gay with each day, Simon.”

Simon pushed her away with a muffled “shut up!” before walking back to his seat at the table.

“Now. Let us hear the story with Sara,” Rosh said once she was seated and fetched a piece of pizza.

Ayub who had already helped himself to the pizza agreed with Rosh, and then they both looked expectantly at Simon.

“I don’t know what to say. It’s like... one day at school August just dropped it like a casual bomb, if that’s a thing. He was like: I can have my way with Sara as long as she keeps it a secret. My position can help her climb the ladder of society and some crap. And Sara is just pissed. Neither Wille, Mama, nor I can say anything to her before she snaps and whatnot. And she really genuinely likes this ass. I just can’t believe it!”

“But who is he?” Ayub carefully asked.

“Believe it or not, he’s actually Wille's cousin or something–third in line to the throne,” Simon replied disgustedly.

“So, if she marries him she will become what? A duchess?” Rosh wondered aloud.

“Maybe? I don’t know how that stuff works, but something like that I guess,” Simon replied.

“Aye, let’s talk about something else,” Ayub then said. “You look like you could throw up from this conversation, Simon. 

Simon agreed with his friend and they continued to update each other about their everyday lives. Marienberg was still a typical public school. People were still gossiping a bit about Simon, some tried to get Rosh and Ayub to share stories about Wille and Simon but every time they told the other students that neither of them had ever met Wille they were met with disbelief. Rosh found it funny that Simon was head-over-heels in love with a guy and his two best friends hadn’t been introduced to him yet. Ayub was also snickering at Simon in the background mumbling something about Simon keeping the Prince to himself. And in that moment a text from the Prince himself popped up on Simon’s phone.

Wille

Hey, sorry for the late text <3 something came up after practice.

Simon

It’s okay. I’m with Rosh and Ayub. Was it something serious?

 

Wille

Just something with my Mama. Nothing to worry about.

 

Simon

Are you sure?

 

Wille

I am. Say hello to your friends.

 

Simon

Will do. They say hello too. But they keep pestering me about when they can meet you. They think it’s weird that you guys haven't met yet.

 

Wille

In some ways it is weird. I guess I just like keeping you to myself!

 

Simon

That is exactly what they said!

 

Wille

Then it must be right then.

 

Simon

You are so stupid sometimes <3

 

Wille

Says the one who is dating me! Who would ever go through so much trouble to get an opportunity to get off.

 

Simon

Omg Wille! Maybe I like getting off to the thought of you...

 

Wille

 

Simon

Sorry, I shouldn't have said that....

 

Wille

 

Simon

Omg

 

“Hey, Simon! Stop texting your boyfriend and come hang with your friends,” Ayub yelled at Simon and threw a used napkin his way.

“Omg would you relax. I was just asking about his day!” Simon replied somewhat grumpy.

“Haven't you been together all day? Like, you share every class you have together,” Rosh deadpanned from her seat at the table.

“Well, I missed him,” Simon tried to explain to his friends, but that only earned him more teasing from his two best friends.

******

As the Valentine’s Ball was nearing everybody at school grew more and more excited about the party, especially all the girls. Sara and Stella in particular were excited about getting to dress up in the costumes and everything that came with that. Frederika and Felice, on the other hand, were more relaxed about it all and were just looking forward to spending a nice evening together with their friends. Maddie was very hard to read, as always, but she did smile when she was one of the girls who received a love letter one day.

The day prior to the ball the boys sat in Forest Ridge and had their lunch as usual. Everybody was stressed about the ball in some way or the other. Henry and Walter had not yet sent a letter to anybody, both of them having trouble with what they should actually write in a letter.

“But does it matter?” Simon asked them. “I mean, we are going to the ball together in one big group so you don’t need to have a date or anything.”

“We know,” Henry started, “it’s just a really good opportunity to see what’s out there, you know.”

“What’s out there?” Walter mugged. “Don’t you know who you are writing to?”

“Of course I do. How stupid do you think I am?” Henry shot back.

Wille looked at Simon and tried to hide a smile. Henry and Walter often sounded like an old married couple arguing about almost everything.

 

“Okay, then who are you writing to?” Walter challenged.

“No one you should know about; go write your own letter,” Henry replied, annoyed.

“Guys look, if Henry doesn’t want to share who he is writing to, then we shouldn’t push him,” Willes chimed in.

“Easy for you to say! Everybody knows who you are writing a love letter to,” Walter simply answered, making Wille blush slightly.

“And who are you writing a letter to Wilhelm?” Simon asked amused. “I haven't received one yet and last time I checked I was your boyfriend.” Walter and Henry were now the ones shooting each other looks as if they were saying something only they understood.

Wille blushed even more and mumbled something under his breath.

“Sorry, I didn't quite catch that, love,” Simon teased.

“I didn’t think that you would like it, you not liking Valentine’s Day and all that,” Wille said a bit louder. “I know you think of it as a capitalistic scam to make even more money,” he then added in the end.

Simon smiled and kissed Wille on the cheek. “You know me so well,” he said before looking back at Walter and Henry.

“Are you going to wear costumes and wigs and all that?” He then proceeded to ask them.

“Of course we are! That’s like one of the fun parts about this thing!” Walter answered.

“Besides the actual party, you mean?” Henry added. “Aren’t you?”

“No, I’ll wear our uniform. I have to wear it later when the choir has to perform and I don’t really want to go and change in the middle of the party,” Simon explained.

“You can always borrow my room if you need a place to change,” Wille carefully said. Simon grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed it lightly as a thanks.

“Ohh, come on! We all know that neither of you will ever come back out of that room if Simon has to change in there,” Henry stated matter of factly, which earned them some small laughs from the boys sitting around them.

Simon could feel a blush creeping its way up his face, and when he looked at Wille he noticed that he was still as flushed as before, if not more so.

“Yeah. Just because you’re not big on showing off in public doesn’t mean that we don’t know what’s going on when you are alone,” Walter said and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Please stop,” Wille said, trying to prevent any more embarrassment, but it was for nothing.

“Come on! We have all seen the hickies that sometimes appear on both of you, and Ohh,” Henry said, “do you remember that day in PE where Wille was covered in hickies. Like all over his body? Wasn’t that on Simon’s first day here?”

 

Simon began sweating. This was not something they were supposed to talk about. This was private, and he only shared such private things with Rosh and Ayub. And even they didn’t know everything that Wille and he did. He reached for Wille’s hand once more to find some sort of support, but when their hands found each other he noticed that Wille’s hands were all sweaty. Was he shaking a bit too? He looked at Wille who looked anything but pleased at the turn their conversation had taken. He was pale and his breathing was rapidly getting quicker. Wille clutched his hand like it was the only sensible thing he could do right now. He had to get Wille out of here. Walter and Henry were still chatting and teasing them, but he didn’t comprehend what they were saying.

With a mumbled apology he dragged Wille by his hand out of the room and down the hall towards the rooms–towards Wille’s room.

It seemed strange that it was now him guiding Wille like this and not the other way around as it had been so many times before. Thinking about this formed a knot in Simon’s stomach, but he knew that he had to keep on and be the strong one now. Wille needed him to be the strong one in this moment and he would do anything he could to remain the strong one until Wille had his anxiety under control again.

 

“Breathe, Wille. In through your nose, down in your stomach, and then out through your mouth,” Simon said once inside the room. He sat Wille down on the bed and placed himself on the floor in front of him. “Tell me 5 things that you can see.”

Wille looked around the room with pain in his eyes. “My plant, you, my table...'' There was a pause while he took a deep breath. “My old sweater from yesterday and the carpet.”

“Very good, now 4 things that you can touch, '' Simon continued. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Wille’s hands were on Simon's face.

“You,” Wille said and guided his hands up to Simon’s curls. “Your curls, my bed cover, and the bedframe.”

“Now 3 things you can smell,” Simon continued trying to breathe steadily himself.

Wille leaned towards Simon, breathing in and out, following Simon’s breaths.

“Your conditioner,” he let his nose run down Simon’s face and placed it in the crook of Simon’s neck. “Your cologne, and umm, maybe also some sweat.”

Wille didn’t move away from Simon, so he carefully placed his hands around Wille.

“2 things that you can taste,” he then said.

“You,” Wille kissed Simon lightly where his head was resting. “The rest of the marinade from the meat we had for lunch.”

“So good, Wille. Now 1 thing that you can hear,” Simon finished his countdown.

“Your voice!” Wille said without hesitation. “It is very soothing, Simon.”

“I’m glad you think so, Wille. Want to talk about it?” Simon offered but Wille only shook his head and Simon accepted that this was not something they needed to talk about right now, so he just held Wille tighter to his body offering all the comfort he possibly could this way.

“I love you, Simon. Sorry I haven't written you a Valentine's lette,” Wille suddenly mumbled.

“I love you too, Wille,” Simon replied, “but you don’t need to write a stupid letter just because it’s a special date in the calendar, you know that! If you feel like writing a love letter to me, then do it, but not just because it’s some crazy tradition.”

“Just like you wrote me a song?” Wille asked and pulled away from their hug.

“Just like I wrote you a song,” Simon replied happily and kissed his boyfriend lovingly. “Now, let’s go join the others again. It’s almost time for the last classes of the day.”

 ******

The Valentine’s Ball was grand. It was so Hillerska and Simon didn’t know how to describe it in any other words than grand, and so much like Hillerska. Everybody, except himself, were dressed in costumes, the main building was decorated beautifully, and there was non-alcoholic champagne, small cakes, and other snacks. One of the rooms was made into a dancefloor with colorful strobe lights and a dj playing the newest party music.

Simon had arrived together with Wille and their friends feeling happy and bubbly after spending the afternoon together in Wille’s room. They had made out and fooled around, and when the time was up they had laughed while getting ready for the ball. Wille was in his baby blue costume and Simon was in his Hillerska uniform; they looked good. After they had walked in together with the other boys to the mansion they joined the girls who were waiting for them–everyone but Sara. She had apparently forgotten something at the school and would meet them inside at the party. And now here they were, all but Sara, dancing, jumping up and down, drinking champagne and just having a blast together.

Simon couldn’t stop laughing at Wille’s poor dancing skills telling him that he looked like a fish out of water. That had earned him a glare from Wille that quickly had turned into a loving goofy smile. That smile had made Simon take Wille’s hand and swirl him around before dancing with him while their hands were laced together, which was probably something the Queen would be opposed to–too much physical contact and all that.

The laughter stopped abruptly as soon as their group saw Sara.

She was walking into the room dressed in her costume, but she was not alone as the whole group of friends expected.

“Wtf!” Felice exclaimed.

“Omfg! This is so epic!” Maddie chimed in.

“Is that August?” Henry asked not believing his own eyes.

Wille and Simon stood frozen on the spot, laughter and dance forgotten. Even though both of them knew August and Sara were dating they hadn’t dreamt of the day that the two of them would ever show up together at school.

“I didn’t think he wanted to be associated with Sara?” Wille whispered confused just as much as Simon.

“I guess he changed his mind? Wait, can August do that?” Simon whispered back.

“I don’t know. He’s always been so intense and insists on using our titles and stuff like that,” Wille whispered.

“Wille! Simon! Nice to see you guys,” August yelled at them while walking the short distance towards the whole group, leading Sara by her arm. She looked happy, Simon noticed–so happy and proud to be seen together with August.

“August, what are you even talking about? Of course we are here. It’s mandatory that we show up,” Wille was still confused about what he was witnessing.

“Why are you with him?” Felice asked Sara, sounding hurt.

“Felice, umm, so August and I... we are dating,” Sara quickly said, sounding not so sure if it was what she actually was supposed to say.

“But you can’t date August, Sara,” Felice tried to reason with Sara. “August brings nothing good with him. And besides that, I can’t believe that you haven't told me anything. I’m your best friend, Sara!”

“Felice, I’m sorry, okay. But please don’t talk about August like that,” Sara said politely.

Felice was about to say something more, but Wille discreetly shook his head in a plea for her to stop nagging Sara and Felice drew back. But it was clear that she was hurt by her best friend keeping secrets from her, as she walked over to the other girls who were gossiping in a small group.

“Sara, is this really what you want?” Simon asked his sister quietly, having forgotten about the music and the party for a moment.

“It is. I thought I had made that clear a long time ago, Simon,” his sister answered him.

He looked at her…really looked at her, and all he could see was how happy she looked. Her eyes were shining and her smile was bright and big.

“Okay, if you’re sure that you’re happy. Then I guess I’m happy for you, Sara,” he said, pulling her into a hug. He didn’t want to fight with her any longer. It took too much energy; he just wanted his sister back.

August dragged Sara away from them and Wille and Simon were left alone standing awkwardly on the dancefloor not dancing.

Wille signaled for Simon that he needed some fresh air and the two boys walked outside. They were not holding hands, but they walked so close to each other that their shoulders would eventually bump into each other. No one would doubt that they were together when looking at them. They were in sync, in a way close friends weren’t.

The air outside was cold and crisp just as you would expect from an evening in February. There were other people outside standing in small groups enjoying the cold air, some couples were trying to sneak in a private moment, and others were throwing up behind trees. The party was a school party, which meant no alcohol at all, but many students didn’t care for this rule in particular and had had a few shots before the party and then proceeded to sneak alcohol into the party.

“I know you don’t agree with me,” Simon said, “but I really don’t understand why people would drink so much.”

They walked by two girls emptying their stomachs behind a tree. Wille took Simon’s hand and kissed it.

“Sometimes it’s nice to just let loose and forget about all your problems. Like, when I went out partying back in Stockholm I did it to have fun and forget all the boring and tiring stuff in my life. Drinking helped me loosen up so I wasn’t that shy around people.”

“But did it make you happy? Championing yourself in that way?” Simon wondered.

“I don’t think that I was really that happy back in Stockholm, but I had fun and that must count as something too, right?” Wille replied.

Simon didn’t miss the part about Wille not being truly happy back when he lived in Stockholm, but he didn’t want to pry into that now. They could talk about that another time when the place and scene was more fitting.

Suddenly the two boys were pulled apart by a body crashing into both of them.

“Simoooon, Wiiilllee!” It was Frederika who had found them outside and she had clearly had more than a few shots. “How is it even fair that the two of you get to be happy and I have to walk around in misery every day?” she drunkenly complained to them.

“Hello to you too, Frederika,” Wille answered her.

“I mean, I’m allowed to be happy too, but I can’t because that would change everything! Like forever, you know? And now Sara is happy and sappy too! How is that fair?” Frederika complained to them.

“Umm, sorry but what are you talking about Frederika?” Simon knew she was drunk, so he didn’t think he would get much of a coherent answer from her.

“Do you guys know Stella? My roommate!” Frederika whispered to them very loudly.

Wille laughed a bit while supporting the girl next to him. “We know her, yes.”

“She is like... like the sun, NO! Like the best piece of candy in a candy store... or maybe she’s like this goddess who is sent to earth to taunt me!” Frederika was still whispering pretty loudly.

“What are you trying to tell us about Stella?” Simon asked not feeling up to babysit his drunk friend.

“Shhhh...” Frederika put a finger in front of her mouth in a most dramatic way. “She doesn’t know! But I know! I known for soooo looong!”

Simon rolled his eyes while Wille just stood laughing fondly at their friend.

“What do you know about Stella?” Simon said a little harshly.

“I know... something you don’t know. I know that I like heeeer. I want to kiss her. I want to cuddle her hair! I should cuddle her hair, her hair is the best hair I have seen on earth!”

“You go tell her that you want to cuddle her hair then,” Wille said to Frederika trying very hard not to laugh at her drunken speech.

“I should! Ohh, you are such a clever boy, Wille! No wonder you’re the Prince and I’m not! I’ll text her!” She pulled her phone from god knows where and started tapping on the screen excitedly.

“She must be really drunk if she thinks you’re the clever one in this relationship,” Simon smiled at Wille, which earned him a greeting from Wille’s middle finger.

“Ahhh! She’s coming out to meet me! I will go cuddle with her hair! I will kiss her all over her face!” Friderika jumped away from Wille’s arms and ran towards the main building where Stella emerged.

“You think she’ll be okay?” Wille asked, a bit worried.

“Sure, Stella is by her now; she’ll take care of her friend,” Simon replied while looking after the drunk girl.

Then a lot of stuff happened very quickly. Frederika and Stella were talking, Stella turned around looking behind her, then they were holding hands, then Stella turned around and walked away. At the same moment Frederika leaned forward to kiss her, or at least that’s what it looked like, but Frederika lost her balance because Stella had walked away. Frederika fell, face-first, down on the tiles laying in front of the building without moving.

“Shit!” Simon exclaimed and the two boys sprinted towards Frederika who was now screaming on the ground. Carefully the boys got Frederika up in a seated position only to discover that her face was covered in blood.

“Omg, this is bad! This is really bad, Simon! What do we do?” Wille sounded slightly panicked so Simon decided to take the lead again.

“Give me the thing around your neck, Wille. And then umm.. go find a teacher! Hurry!” Simon commanded.

Wille quickly took off his scarf and handed it to Simon who held it up against the screaming and crying girl while Wille left to fetch a teacher.

“There is so much blood, Simon. It’s like all over her and in her hair!” Wille stated the painfully obvious. Frederika’s face was covered in blood streaming out from her nose and maybe also from her eyebrow. Simon wasn’t sure.  

Simon cursed inside his head. He really didn’t like drunk people and he didn’t like that he could be so calm and level-headed around them when it really mattered. It was only proof that he had grown up knowing how accidents could happen around drunk people. He talked calmly but firmly to Frederika to try to calm her down, and it worked, because soon she was calm enough to tell him that her nose hurt the most. From her voice Simon was almost certain that it was broken, but he was not the one who should tell her that.

Soon enough Wille came back with one of their teachers running behind him. When the teacher saw the state of Frederika she quickly took action and called an ambulance so they could go to the nearest emergency room to get Frederika examined by a doctor. When their teacher walked away with Frederika she shot Wille and Simon a disappointed look as if it were their fault that Frederika was hurt.

“Did you tell her what happened, Wille?” Simon wondered.

“No,” Wille replied. “I just told her that there had been an accident outside and that she needed to come with me.”

“Omg, now she probably thinks that we have been drinking too! I don’t want to get faulted for that,” Simon complained. “I have to get inside again, okay. The choir has to be gathered in 5 minutes or so, so we can get ready for the performance.” Simon gave Wille a quick hug and walked away to find the choir.

The performance went okay considering half of the choir had been drinking to some extent. Sara was standing near the first row with August draped over her, their considerable height difference making it easy for August to engulf Sara in his arms. Simon thought to himself before starting the second song that they needed to talk and to clear the air between them. He really wanted to understand what his sister found so fascinating about this guy. He couldn’t see it, but often Sara had a different view of the world due to her autism, so maybe if they really talked and listened to each other, she could make him understand. He needed his sister and her strong support back in his life!

Stella was standing together with Henry holding hands and sharing longing looks with him. She had apparently not noticed that Frederika was gone and apparently she didn’t want her to cuddle her hair. It looked like Stella, in fact, really, really, would like to cuddle up together with Henry of all people.

Wille was standing in the very front together with Felice and Maddie, his eyes looking only at Simon–like Simon was the only reason he could breathe. It was almost as if the only reason he could exist at this place was because of Simon, which was somewhat true. Simon liked the attention he got from Wille while singing. He liked that Wille liked him that much and if he sang only a tiny bit louder and prouder because of Wille’s obvious affection, he didn’t tell anybody. He was singing for Wille, for his boyfriend.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 17: Chapter seventeen

Summary:

“We could have lived with some friends or something. Anything would have been better than going through the hell we went through!” She spat back at him. “That’s why Hillerska is so great, you know! I can finally be someone else than this ugly, loser I was at Marienberg. Hillerska and August can make me better. Make me matter… don’t you see that Simon?” 

Notes:

This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter seventeen

 

It was Thursday evening—-the day after the Valentine’s Ball. The school day had been rather slow; everybody was tired after the party the night before except the teachers who were doing their best to inform the students about the Queen's visit the next day. There were workers trying to build a stage where the royal family would be seated and then a surrounding seating area for the staff and the teachers. 120 years was not something Hillerska took for granted. Erik was supposed to do a speech for the anniversary and Wille was supposed to sit beside his parents and look propper and say nothing. Easy. 

 

Henry had been standing on the table telling everybody how he and Stella finally had hooked up. It had apparently been something that had been bound to happen at some point. Simon and Wille just didn’t know because they’d been too caught up in their own stress and drama to have noticed. Some of the other boys went on the table as well, telling about their hookups last night, but somehow August didn’t go on the table. Simon wonders if he had forbidden all the other boys from saying anything about him and Sara, but all he could do was wonder.

 

Frederika was nowhere to be seen throughout the day. At workies Stella told them that she had come home to their room in the middle of the night and was now resting. Her nose had been broken and she had a massive hangover, but other than that she seemed fine Stella promised them all. Simon didn’t quite believe her. First of all Frederika had been really drunk the night before, and secondly she had kind of confessed her feelings for Stella in front of Simon and Wille. He wondered if she could actually remember that. 

 

“Sara? Can we talk?” Simon carefully asked while knocking on the door to her room.

 

Sara opened her door looking out at Simon with suspicious eyes. “What do you want to talk about?” She asked him to determine what his intentions really were.

 

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, Sara, I just want to understand okay? I hate that we are not talking anymore.”

 

She opened the door for him and walked into her room again. Simon followed her and sat down on her bed just as she had. 

 

“So, speak.” She said plainly.

 

“Umm, I just want to understand what you see in him, because I can’t see it, Sara,” Simon started. “I have no idea why you like August that much when he’s such a horrible person.”

 

She looked at him, eyes scanning his face before looking down. “I wasn’t meant to fall in love with him, you know. I know what he says to you and about our family. I know that, Simme, but…” She paused thinking about the right way to explain herself. “He’s not really like that, you see. It’s like this big façade that he puts up so nobody can really see him. If you only knew how sweet and caring he is when we are alone. And funny. He’s so funny!” 

 

“August! Funny? I’m having a hard time believing that, Sara,” Simon replied. “How did you meet? Or end up together or whatever you say?”

 

“I’ve always thought he was so handsome. Ever since I started at Hillerska, you know, and then one day he came up to me and asked about my medication and stuff. Said he was getting diagnosed himself…” Sara trailed off.

 

“Sara, what’s the matter?” Simon asked her, taking her hand in his.

 

“He umm, he asked me if he could buy some of my medication until he had a prescription for himself,” she said in a whisper.

 

“No, no, no, Sara you didn’t?” Simon pleaded, looking at her with big concerned eyes. 

 

“I didn’t,” she said with a little smile. “I told him that I would never do that because that’s illegal and that's it. Later he started showing up in the stables and we just kind of started talking. At first I thought he was looking for Felice because that would make sense. Her being who she is and friends with Wille and all that, but he was actually coming by to chat with me, which was nice.”

 

She laid down on the bed, picking up her stuffed horse teddy before continuing. “Then one evening dad was calling me,” Simon rose from the bed like it was on fire and looked furiously at Sara but she stopped him before he could say anything. “I know, I know, Simon, I shouldn’t have picked up the phone, but he had been texting me all week and you were texting Wille and I wouldn’t tell Mama.”

 

Simon breathed out, feeling bad for Sara that she had thought that she couldn’t reach out to him because he had been texting so much with Wille. He laid down beside her and whispered an apology into her hair.

 

“Nothing to say sorry about,” Sara smiled at him. “August walked into the stables as I was giving dad a piece of my mind, and umm…he asked if I needed to talk with someone about this, and I did. I really did, Simon, so I followed him up to his room and we talked—like for an hour or so we just talked. He told me about his father and how he died and how his mother is not present at all in his life and how he felt so alone and pressured to be a certain person to prove that he will not end like his father, and…” Sara was crying now, full of compassion for her boyfriend. 

 

“Shhh, Sara,” Simon tried to comfort her, but he was confused. What had happened to August dad? He knew he was dead but didn’t know the circumstances surrounding his death. “What umm, what happened to his dad?” He carefully asked. 

 

“He took his own life, Simon.” Sara cried into his hoodie, “and then he was sent off to Hillerska while his mother just went out dating. He was shattered, but he didn’t want to show it because he had a title now and stuff. So he figured that if he’s just at his best all the time, if he’s in the top all the time, then everything will be okay…” 

 

“Ohh, Sara,” was the only thing that Simon could think to say to her because it still didn’t justify the things August had said about him and their family. But last night when he saw the two of them together he had decided that he would try to be better towards Sara and rebuild their friendship again. He missed his sister too much to keep fighting her, and therefore he might as well try to understand her and help her if she needed it. 

 

When Sara had stopped crying Simon looked at her and asked her dead serious, “Does he treat you right Sara? Is he good to you?”

 

Sara nodded. “He is. He really is, Simon. I will not be like Mama and keep being in a relationship that hurts me...” or my children went unsaid. 

 

“Sara, Mama did what she could,” Simon tried to reason with Sara.

 

“But she didn’t protect us, Simon! You got hurt! Dad hurt you!” Sara explained back at him pulling away. 

 

“Sara, that happened one time! One time.” Simon tried to calm her down.

 

“One time too many! She should have just left him when it all started!” His sister shot back at him.

 

“And where were we supposed to live then? A single mother with two small children? How was she supposed to find a place for us? To support us?” Simon defended their mother. 

 

“We could have lived with some friends or something. Anything would have been better than going through the hell we went through!” She spat back at him. “That’s why Hillerska is so great, you know! I can finally be someone else than this ugly, loser I was at Marienberg. Hillerska and August can make me better. Make me matter… don’t you see that Simon?” 

 

“No, because you are beautiful and perfect as you are, Sara! Why can’t you see that?” Simon stood up from the bed not feeling like he was welcome in the room anymore. 

 

“But their lives are so perfect, Simon. They are happy and pretty and have nice things, and I want all of that too! And I can have that! I will have that, Simon. No matter what Mama and you have to say about that!” Sara said as a final promise before opening her door for Simon to leave. 

 

Back in his room, Simon’s thoughts were all over the place. He had first thought that he and Sara had made amends, and it had felt like a big weight had been lifted off his shoulders, but then they had started arguing about their parents and their toxic relationship and everything had just gone downhill from there. 

 

Simon

Wille? 

 

Wille

Simon?

 

Simon

I miss you

 

Wille

I miss you too <3 Everything okay?

 

Simon

No. 

Wille 

Want to talk about it?

 

Simon

I don’t know. Maybe?

 

Wille

Okay. I talked with Erik today. He says everything is okay about Easter. I really wanted to tell you that in person on Monday, but I might as well tell it now!

 

Simon

That’s great.

 

Wille

You don’t sound that happy about it.

 

Simon

No, I am Wille, it's just… I thought Sara and I made up but then we got into another stupid fight.

 

Wille

Ohh, I’m sorry <3

 

Simon

Thanks<3

 

Wille

What can I do to make you feel better?

 

Simon

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just go to bed early today.

 

Wille

Maybe that’s a good idea. Get some rest and such. Papa always say that to me when I’m on edge. 

 

Simon

Love you <3 

 

Wille

Love you too, Simon <3 

 

But Simon couldn't sleep. No matter how much he tossed and turned he simply couldn't fall asleep. He kept thinking of his dad and all the awful things he did to them when they were younger. The evening Simon had been hit by him kept replaying in his head. It was something that he had kept locked away for years, but now the locks had been broken and it seemed like he just couldn't push it to the back of his mind again. Frustrated, he threw his duvet aside and reached for his phone.

 

Simon

Wille? Are you awake? 

 

Wille

Yes. Shouldn't you be sleeping? 

 

Simon

I can't. Can I come by? 

 

Wille

Come by Hillerska? Sure, but umm. How and why? 

 

Simon 

I'll take the last bus. It should be here in 10 minutes. On my way to the bus stop as we speak. 

 

Wille

Be careful. It's pretty dark already<3

 

Simon

Wille, it's Sweden. It's dark at 4pm in the winter months… But thanks. Just… Would you keep texting me? 

 

Wille

Sure, but umm. You should know that my parents and Erik are here.

 

Simon

At Hillerska? Why?

 

William 

Mama thought it would be nice to have a family dinner before the anniversary tomorrow. 

 

Simon

But I'm already on the bus, Wille 

 

Wille 

Don't worry, love. I'll just go to my room when your bus is here. You can come in through the window as usual.

 

Simon 

And if your mother finds out? 

 

Wille 

I'll take care of my mother. Don't worry, Simon. 

 

Simon

You are the best. Did you know that? 

 

Wille 

Then you haven't met my boyfriend. He's like the best in the whole world!

 

Simon 

Is he now? Tell me about him? 

 

Wille 

He's like the sun. Everytime he looks at me I melt. He is so pretty, Simon. I can't even begin to describe how pretty he is. Inside and out. He has this cute way of looking at me with these big puppy eyes when he wants something. And I can never say no to him. Never. I would give him the world if he asked for it.

 

Simon 

Wille! <3

 

Wille 

He makes me feel so loved and safe. Like he just accepts me as I am. But not without questions. He always tries to understand me and see things from my side even though it's hard for him. He is so gentle with me and always checks in on my emotions and how I'm doing like he wouldn't even da,re to do anything to me that I didn't like or wouldn't do.

 

Simon

Wille, you are the same, you know.

 

Wille 

But you are the best for me! Ohh, shit. Erik is nagging me about being on my phone at family night. 

 

Simon 

Haha. Poor Wille <3

 

Wille 

Yes, I'm in need of cuddles now!

 

Simon 

Cuddles coming up. 5 minutes, babe. 

 

Wille 

Babe? Where did that come from? Going to my room now. Erik looks slightly suspicious. 

 

Simon 

Going through the forest now. Better get to your room now.

 

Wille 

I'm here now. The window is open.

 

"Hey!" Simon said as soon as he was at the window leaning into Wille's room. Wille helped him get in through the window as he had done so many times before. As soon as Simon was inside the room he was consumed by a big, warm hug from Wille.

 

"Are you okay?" He asked carefully, letting his hands cradle Simon's hair.

 

Simon shook his head finally giving into his desire to just let it all go and fall apart. 

Wille held him tight while the floods started streaming down Simon's face. He was shaking, crying, and he also started with small hiccups. Wille moved him from side-to-side, almost swaying together with him, which strangely enough gave Simon a sense of comfort and the feeling of home. 

 

"Come and sit down," Wille whispered after a while, guiding Simon to his bed before he closed the open window as well as the curtains. Then he sat down beside Simon and gently maneuvered the both of them down so they were laying down on the bed, Wille spooning Simon.

 

"You want to talk about it?" Wille asked.

 

"No, not really," Simon answered weakly. 

 

"Okay," Wille just said.

 

They laid for a while not saying anything to each other. Simon looked at the shadows in the dark room. Wille's disk and chair were standing neatly in the middle of the room looking more organized than normal. Beside the dresser hang Wille's new Hillerska uniform which was newly sewn for the occasion. This looked so unlike the room that he knew. Wille must have cleaned because his parents came to visit—something he hadn't mentioned to Simon, by the way. Normally Wille's room was a bit messy with books scattered everywhere and old hoodies and socks lying around on the floor. His boyfriend was a beautiful mess when it was just the two of them.

 

"Sara mentioned our dad and what he did to us…and to Mama," he finally said.

 

"Ohh," Wille said and stiffened a bit. "You never talk about him." 

 

"No. I don't," Simon said. "He... he's not a good man anymore. He's an addict, Wille. He was one when we lived with him, too." 

 

"Simon," Wille breathed and kissed his hair. 

 

"I think we were like 7 or 8 when dad got a back injury and had to stop working. He never got over the injury, and instead he started drinking. At first we didn't notice that it was a problem. Mama must have known before Sara and I found out. Later he got addicted to his pain medication, and started stealing Sara's medication and such. Mama was afraid to leave us alone with dad, so we spent a lot of time together with Ayub and his family. We slept there when Mama was working night shifts and stuff." Simon stopped talking, taking some deep breaths as to steady himself before he continued. 

 

"One day when we came back from school we caught dad stealing Sara's medication, and I called him out on it. I was only 10, Wille. We started fighting, which was so dumb because he was already high and whatnot, but we did. Sara tried to calm us down but dad just got more aggressive and started to approach Sara and I panicked and said that he shouldn't hit Sara, and I don't know…  it triggered him and he went after me instead. The hits kept coming and Sara was screaming. And then suddenly he just stopped and we ran out of the apartment and went to Ayub’s." 

 

The room was silent. Nobody said anything. Simon felt nauseous and dizzy and overwhelmed all at the same time. He couldn’t believe that he had just told Wille his deepest secret—something he had vowed to himself that he would never speak of to anybody.

 

"Is that where the scar comes from?" Wille whispered before letting his fingers trace Simon’s lips and then the corner of his mouth where he had a small scar. 

 

Simon only nodded and closed his eyes, too tired to do anything more.

 

"I'm so sorry this happened to you, Simon. And to Sara too. And Linda. You are such wonderful people. You didn’t deserve that," Wille tried to say.

 

"Not your fault, Wille," Simon mumbled. "But thank you anyways." 

 

He turned around so they were eye-to-eye and laced his fingers through Wille's hair. 

"I just couldn’t get the pictures of that day to disappear, Wille… you are the one I feel most safe with. I didn’t know what else to do than to come here," Simon tried to explain. 

 

"Shh. It's okay, Simon," Wille said before planting a kiss on his lips. "You can always come to me. I will always be here for you. Whatever you need!"

 

"Wille," Simon whispered before pulling Wille into a heated kiss.

 

The next morning Wille and Simon were woken by a loud knock on the door. Simon groaned and turned around to face the wall and get some more sleep. 

 

"Wille, make it stop," he complained when the knocking continued. 

 

"You make it stop. I don’t have the energy to be bothered with finding my clothes just to get the door," Wille complained while trying to snuggle closer to Simon.

 

That earned him a hand in the face from his boyfriend who was pushing him out of bed.

 

"Nope, your room, your door to answer. Besides, I’m just as naked as you are and I have no idea where you threw any of my clothes," Simon replied before pulling the duvet closer.

 

"Ugh, you are the worst..." Wille complained while getting out of bed and trying to find his boxers. 

 

As soon as he opened the door Erik barged in with a huge face. 

 

"Good morning, little brother. Feeling better…" he stopped mid sentence when he saw Simon in Wille's bed. Simon who was laying very still, panic written all over his face. 

 

"Omg! I can't believe that you bailed out of family night just to have sex!" Erik exclaimed.

 

Wille hurriedly closed the door before walking up to Erik. "I was not! Simon needed me!" He said matter of factly.

 

"I bet he needed you. Omg, Wilhelm. Does Mama know?" Erik continued unfazed by the clearly naked Simon in his bed.

 

"Please kill me…" Simon groaned from the bed, trying to hide under the duvet. 

 

"Erik come on. Mama doesn't know Simon is here. She explicitly told us that Simon was not to come to my room," Wille scolded his brother before turning his attention towards Simon. "Simon, love. Are you okay? Do you need me to do anything?" He sat down on his bed letting his hands find Simon’s curls.

 

"And yet here he is," Erik mocked. "I'll just give the two of you a moment to become decent, okay?" He headed towards the door but stopped before opening it. "I mean does Mama know if you are having sex? She should probably know… So you can be tested and keep yourself safe and stuff," he then added with a smirk.

 

"Erik I swear to God… Get out now!" Wille yelled at him with a strangled voice. 

 

Erik did so and the two boys were yet again alone.

 

“Well, that was one of the most mortifying moments of my life,” Simon said from under the duvet once Erik had walked out of the room. 

 

“Yep, same for me,” Wille agreed. “Let’s get dressed before he comes back.”

 

They quickly found their clothes, which were scattered all over the room after their activities last night. Once they were dressed Wille kissed Simon quickly before letting Erik back into the room. 

 

Simon placed himself on the bed, legs crossed and phone in his hands. He somehow found Erik a bit intimidating and didn’t know what to do or say whenever he was near them. 

 

“I see you’re both decent now,” Erik smiled at them, making Simon blush. 

 

“What do you want, Erik?” Wille asked him instead of acknowledging what Erik had just said. 

 

“Easy now, Wille. I just wanted to check in on my baby brother before we have to get press photos taken and stuff, but I guess someone else beat me to it.” Erik looked at Simon who was furiously texting away on his phone. 

 

“Thanks, Erik, but that was not why Simon came by last night. We had something important to talk about,” Wille told his brother trying to get his attention away from Simon. “We needed to talk about it before the anniversary. Simon needs to sing with the choir and stuff and I’ll have to be with Mama and Papa the whole day so...” 

 

“Shit!” Simon shot up from the bed with a sheer look of panic in his eyes. “Wille! I forgot my uniform. It’s at home. OMG, I’m going to be dead. I need  my suit, Wille!” 

 

“Okay, okay, umm, relax. Can’t you just go home and get it?” Wille tried to calm his boyfriend. 

 

“Well, I can get home but then I’ll have to wait an hour for the next bus, and then I will be late. We need to meet at the choir room in like 50 minutes or something!” Simon was pacing around on the small space that was available in Wille’s room. 

 

“Okay, okay… umm. What do we do?” Wille asked. He was starting to sound worried himself now.

 

“Is your family attending? Maybe they could bring your uniform? Just explain to the choir director that you forgot the suite but that it’s on its way,” Erik suggested. 

 

“Nobody knows I’m here, Erik. I left without saying anything and I just now got Sara to tell Mama that I needed to be at school early,” Simon tried to explain. 

 

“Ohh! I got it! Simon!” Wille almost yelled. “Tell Sara to bring your uniform! She’ll be in with the next bus right? In like 35 minutes?” 

 

“YES! OMG Why didn’t I think of that! Thank you, Wille!” Simon jumped into Wille’s arms and hugged him like he had just saved his life. “What would I do without you?” He then planted a kiss on Wille's mouth not caring that Erik was right next to them, looking at them with a fond smirk on his lips. 

 

“It’s nice to see you two being able to share one brain cell; it’s really comforting,” Erik said to them, which earned him Wille’s middle finger in response. “We’ll meet up where we ate yesterday in 30 minutes, Wille. Don’t be late, little brother.” Then Erik left the boys alone again.

 

Sara came running up the hall in Forest Ridge meeting Simon halfway to Wille’s room. 

“Quick! Go change in the bathroom. I’ll have to meet with Stella and Felice, but everything should be here.” She said to her brother before running out of Forest Ridge while all the other boys looked at her before looking back to Simon. None of the Eriksson children were supposed to be in Forest Ridge right now. 

 

Simon quickly changed his clothes, throwing his used clothes from the day before into Wille’s room before running all the way to the choir room to have final rehearsal before the live ceremony.  

 

It all went well. The choir sang two songs—the traditional Hillerska song and a new modern pop-song they had rehearsed since coming back from Christmas break. All through the performance Simon looked at Wille, who sat beside his dad with a straight back and an uncomfortable smile plastered on his face. He didn’t look comfortable at all in his shiny new uniform. 

 

The rest of his family, on the other hand, looked rather pleased with the performance. When the choir was done singing Erik took the stage talking about tradition, how his family had a tradition of attending Hilelrska, and how you would find an extended family at this school. He talked about the importance of being honest with yourself and accepting who you were. If you didn’t accept yourself you couldn’t expect other people to accept you. He looked directly at Wille when saying this.

 

After the speech the headmistress gave a small speech before she announced that there would be a light buffet in the main rooms and that everybody was welcome to attend. 

 

If you knew Wille you could see that he looked anything but comfortable when walking around the room greeting people together with his family. The scene reminded Simon of the first time he had met Wille at the Lucia event back in December. Much had changed between them by now. They knew who the other one was for starters, but they had grown so much closer in so little time that it sometimes scared Simon because what if this was it for him? What if Wille was the one he would spend the rest of his life with? It seemed crazy for him to be thinking these kinds of things at such a young age, but they were forced to talk about their future in a way other teens weren't since Wille was in the royal family. In so many ways their relationship was so much more mature than the average relationship of teens their age—at least that’s what Simon thought.

 

“Hello, you must be Simon,” a female voice, Simon knew only too well addressed him. 

 

“Umm, hello Your Majesty,” Simon mumbled as he took the Queen's hand and gave her a clumsy and absolutely informal bow. He was aware that his mother was looking at him closely like so many others in the room. “Simon Eriksson,” he then continued to mumble. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Behind the Queen he could see Wille who was red as a tomato, probably from embarrassment. 

 

“So, you are the boy who has been swearing at me through the phone and apparently capturing my son’s heart. At least that’s what he tells me,” the Queen continued.

 

“Umm, sorry?” Simon said as a question because what were you supposed to say to the Queen.

 

“Walk with us,” the Queen requested. “You can walk alongside Wilhelm.” 

Simon nervously looked at his mother and Sara who were standing behind him. They both gave him eager nods, so he stepped closer to his Wille and started walking through the room together with the royal family. He did not feel at ease at all. What would all of the other students, families and attendants think of this? 

 

“Wille, why am I walking with you?” Simon whispered to Wille in a low voice as so the two of them could only hear what was being said. 

 

“I have no idea, Simon. Mama didn’t tell me anything about her wanting to speak with you,” Wille whispered back.

 

“What am I supposed to do, Wille? I don’t know shit about how to speak to a Queen,” whispered back.

 

“Just, umm. Just be yourself and follow my lead. I’ll have your back, Simon. We’re in this together,” Wille mumbles, quickly stroking Simon's hands with his pinky finger. 

 

“Together,” Simon breathed before they all walked out of the room and through halls and corridors before finally stopping in a room that contained a dining table made for 4 persons. 

“Jan-Olof. We would need an extra seat at this dinner. Simon Eriksson is joining us,” the Queen told an elderly man who Simon had seen running around on the school grounds the past two days. 

 

“Why is Simon joining us, Mama?” Wille asked carefully. 

 

“I thought you would be happy to have him here with you,” Wille’s mother replied dryly. “After all, he will have to be used to dining with us if he will spend Easter with us.” 

 

“Excuse me?” Simon exclaimed. “I thought I wasn’t allowed to meet you guys!” 

 

Erik smacked a hand over his head and Wille groaned as a response to Simon’s direct approach to the Queen. “Like, I thought that if I were seen with Wille’s mom and dad everything had to be more official and all. Like marriage and stuff.”

 

“Simon, please stop,” Wille whispered from his place beside Simon. 

 

“Don’t be silly. You are way too young to get married just yet, but we will have to get to know you to decide if this relationship has anything good to come,” the Queen responded before sitting down at the table. 

 

The Prince Consort sat down next to her before saying, “At least neither of you can get pregnant, so we don’t have to go through all the trouble we had to go through with Erik and Tindra.” 

 

Simon gaped. Did Wille’s dad just say that Tindra had been pregnant, but wasn’t any longer? 

 

“I thought that was family-only information, papa,” Erik said from where he was on his way to get seated. “Simon is not family.” 

 

“I’m sure he will be family one day,” Ludvig just said, before drinking a sip of water. 

 

“Papa, please don’t make Simon uncomfortable,” Wille said before sitting down at the table as well. “Sit down, Simon,” He then added. Simon quickly sat down beside Wille where the table was being set for him.

 

“Now, Simon. Tell me about yourself,” the Queen requested. 

 

“Umm, yeah. Okay. I’m Simon. I’m 16 and I live here in Bjärstad with my sister and Mama. Mama is from Venezuela, so I guess I’m half Venezuelan and half Swedish,” Simon started, looking nervously at Wille who took his hand as a comfort and gave him a little nod so he continued talking. “I just recently transferred to Hillerska after, umm, that photo and stuff and yeah. I really don’t know what to say. I’m just a normal teenager.”

 

“Mama to be fair,” Erik started, “I believe that it’s very intimidating for Simon to be asked this kind of question from you, or any parent for that matter. Can’t we just eat and enjoy lunch together before we have to go back to Stockholm?” 

 

“Very well, Simon, do you feel that way too?” the Queen asked Simon. 

 

Simon was at a loss of words. Would it be suitable for him to ask the Queen to stop interrogating him or would he end up in the dungeon for that? Or even worse being forced to break up with Wille. 

 

“Mama just leave him alone!” Wille forcefully said. “He’s clearly uncomfortable just being here, why do you have to question him about all these things too? It’s not like any of us were given a heads up about Simon attending this lunch. What if Linda is expecting him?” He turned around and looked at Simon. “Have you texted your mother? Does she know where you are? Are you even okay being here?” 

 

Simon swallowed once before sending a little smile in Wille's direction. God, he was the sweetest of them all. “I’m okay, Wille. I just… Maybe I should text Mama before she gets worried I’ve been kidnapped or something.” He looked questioning at Wille who gave him another encouraging nod and then Simon quickly found his phone so he could text his mother that he would be home later because he was having lunch with the royal family. Just a normal text like every other. Sure. No big deal. 

 

“So, Simon,” Ludvig spoke once Simon had put away his phone. “Are you looking forward to your visit to Drottningholm this Easter?” 

 

“Umm, I wasn’t sure it was all cleared yet,” Simon said awkwardly. 

 

“It was cleared a long time ago. Hasn't Wilhelm told you?” the Queen asked, looking at her son.

 

“I haven't told him, Mama. I didn’t know that everything had been cleared,” Wille said to his mother. 

 

“Ohh, well it must have slipped,” she only replied before taking a bite of her salmon. 

 

“Like so many other things,” Wille mumbled under his breath. Simon looked at him, squeezing his hand before diving into his meal himself. 

 

“Wilhelm, it is important that you understand that you can’t bring Simon to any public or official events. No matter how much you want to, you can’t. It is a stretch that we are sitting here and eating together,” the Queen informed.

 

“I wouldn’t put Simon through the madness the media would cause if I brought him, Mama. That’s not fair on him,” Wille replied back to his mother using his official voice as Simon had come to know. “Simon is not to be put in any spotlight unless it is absolutely necessary.” 

 

“Very well,” the Queen replied in a formal tone. “And Simon, are you agreeing with this?”

 

“Umm, yep, yeah. Sure, I don’t want to cause any uproar or attention. But umm, can I have Wille's schedule so I can plan my time, too? Mama and possibly Sara wants to come to Stockholm one day just to do some sightseeing and whatnot and I thought it would be good to do it one of the days where Wille is the busiest?” Simon blurred out.

 

The Queen and her husband looked at each other before smiling at Simon.

 

“I think that sounds lovely, Simon. Wilhelm can share his schedule as soon as he gets it himself. Just remember that you can’t take them back to the palace. They haven't got the security clearance for that,” the Queen informed him. 

 

“Sure, yeah,” Simon replied before pondering if he had the security clearance and if so, why he didn’t know anything about that. 

 

“As for your sleeping arrangement, I think that it is too late to keep the two of you away from each other, so you can share Wille’s room,” The Queen continued as if this was a normal thing to talk about. 

 

“Mama, please don’t say any more,” Wille begged her, apparently knowing where she was going. Simon was a little confused.

 

“The maids will make sure you're supplied with whatever you need, but I would highly appreciate that you tell me Wilhelm,” she paused and looked at her youngest son, “ if and when you are starting a sexual relationship. After the stunt Erik pulled we will not deal with another potential scandal.” She paused again to look at Erik who was very quiet . “When the time comes we will also need to get the two of you tested regularly to secure your safety, Wilhelm. To put it in short. Whenever you need something make sure it is bought through our staff. Do not under any circumstance begin to buy condoms and what else you need to use by yourself. Both of your faces are known to the public. If someone catches a picture of you buying supplies it will become a PR nightmare.” 

 

“OMG, Mama. I think I’ve never been more mortified in my whole life!” Wille exclaimed and put down his cutlery. 

 

Simon just sat there staring at the Queen of Sweden who had just given them a, what was it even, a reprimand about not being seen buying condoms? Demanding that Wille’s parents should know when they do more than they did now, demanding that they would get tested regularly? Although Simon was all for being safe and all that he did think that this was just a little too much. And the thing was that it was all to secure Wille’s safety and not his… not their safety. 

 

“Mama,” Erik chimed in, “I think you have broken the boys.”

 

“We don’t want another mistake like the one you and Tindra made,” was the answer he got from his mother and then the lunch continued like they had not just had a very one-sided conversation about Simon and Wille’s sex life. 

 

 

Time went on. Simon and Sara were not back to normal, but they were better than they had been for a long while. Even Linda could feel how they had loosened up around each other again and she made sure to tell her children just that. 

 

Wille and Simon had tried to go out on a date in Bjärstad but had quickly agreed that it was something they didn’t need to do again. 

 

It had started great. They took the bus one Friday in early March to the center of Bjärstad where they had taken a walk before heading to a pizzeria to grab some food. The walk had been like any other walk. They were holding hands, sharing stories, laughing and just goofing around. It was when they got to the pizzeria that things had gotten hard for them. Because it was a Friday it was fairly busy, but they were lucky to find an empty table near one of the windows. Simon knew Wille didn’t like sitting by the windows when being out and about, but it was the only place they could sit so he hadn’t protested thinking he wouldn’t be harassed by the press here in Bjärstad. 

 

People had been looking at them from the moment they stepped into the pizzeria and the poor, flustered server could barely muster a word when she tried to take their order. It wasn’t hard. Two cokes and a pizza with ham that they would share, but they had to repeat it three times before she got it right, poor lady. 

 

It didn’t go unnoticed by Simon that many of the younger people were trying to discreetly snap pictures of them while they waited for their food. Some young girls even walked by them and giggled as they called out for Wille. 

 

Wille smiled politely and gave a small awkward wave in return, but Simon could tell how much he hated the attention that they got.  

 

Simon had rewarded Wille with an unimpressed raised eyebrow after the girls had walked away, but what could they do? It was apparently still big news that Wille would be seen in Bjärstad, not to mention the fact that he clearly was on a date with their local Latino. As much as Simon knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t stop checking social media because he and Wille were still being widely discussed among, well everybody. It felt like people believed that if it was on the internet that they were being discussed and judged it wouldn’t matter to the real people, but it did. 

 

As soon as their food came the server had made it clear that it all was on the house and no matter how much Wille insisted that he wanted to pay, the server would not let him. This only made the other guests look at them even more, and as a result they bolted the place leaving behind half of their pizza. 

 

Safely back in Simon’s room, they had agreed that they wouldn’t go out on dates in Bjärstad anymore and instead find other ways to spend their time together. 

 

The date had blown up in their faces the next day when they woke up to an angry call from the Queen herself asking Wille to explain why there were pictures of him and Simon sharing pizza and holding hands in all news sources when they had a clear deal about not showing public affection. This had made Wille angry and he had ended screaming at his mother that it was a pointless deal because the whole country already knew he was dating Simon, so why couldn’t he hold Simon’s hand and take him out on dates like anybody else would? The Queen had reminded Wille of his position and the importance of the image he showed to the outside world. 

 

“How could this possibly ruin my image, Mama? I was on a date with my boyfriend!” Wille had yelled at his mother.

 

She said something back to him that Simon couldn’t quite make out and then Wille was the one speaking again.

 

“But, Mama. Don’t you get it? Simon isn’t just some stupid fling! I love him, I don’t want him to disappear from my life. He will be a constant in my life, whether you like it or not. He’s my boyfriend and he’s part of my life!” And then he ended the call.

 

“I’m sorry,” Simon gently said to Wille, hesitantly laying his arms around the taller boy. 

 

“Not your fault, Simon,” Wille sighed. “I just wish I could go out with you like anybody else… hold your hand and kiss you without ending up in the tabloids. It’s wearing on me that even though I’m clearly dating you, I can’t just show it.” 

 

Simon nodded, understanding what Wille meant. 

 

“I know, love, I know. But this is how it has to be right now, and we have done good so far right?” Simon asked. 

 

“Right. Except for the fact that we got outed the first time you visited me,” Wille chuckled.

 

“Except that,” Simon smiled at him before kissing him passionately. 

 

Notes:

Happy Friday everybody! Hope you all will have an amazing weekend <3
Is it strange that I find “Kangaroos” good right now. You know the song from FO&O (or The FOOO, FOOO Conspiracy) I listen to it all the time…Like, what is wrong with me?
Next up: Easter - wuhooo!
You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @Mkrogager

Chapter 18: Chapter Eighteen

Summary:

Simon didn’t know if it was a good idea to meet up in the park, but he had to believe Wille that it would be okay if he wrote that they would meet. As he walked around in the park on his way to the private entrance he soon saw Wille walking towards him with light steps. He looked happy and relaxed as if this park, this setting didn’t upset him the same way it made Simon feel uneasy. 

Notes:

Happy Monday everybody! Did anyone else use an insane amount of time just staring at Edvin’s latest Twitter post? (i think this year will shake things up…..)
This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.
Any qualified guesses on what he is talking about?
And also… There’s a new single coming our way this Friday from OMAR!!!
Like.. AHHHHHHH. <3
You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @Mkrogager

Chapter Text

Chapter eighteen 

 

Simon

Guess who’s on his way to Stockholm right now!

 

Wille

Hmm, an insanely hot guy, that’s for sure!

 

Simon

Where? I can’t see you anywhere on the train!

 

Wille

Stop, you know I mean you <3 

 

Simon

You’re hotter!

 

Wille

No way! You are the hottest of the two of us!

 

Simon

I don’t believe you! Picture for proof <3

 

Wille

Simon

See, you’re the hot one <3

 

Wille

Shut up! 

 

Simon

Make me!

 

Wille

I can think of ways to shut you up, if you know what I mean.

 

Simon

OMG, Wille. I’m in the middle of a train. Don’t say stuff like this. It’s too long til I’ll see you. Still got 3 hours or so before I’m at Drottningholm. 

 

Wille

You started it! But yeah, three hours is too long. I miss you! 

 

Simon

Sap. It’s only been 2 days.

 

Wille

I still miss you. It sucked that I have to leave school earlier than everybody else. 

 

Simon

I miss you too, just so you know. It’s strange being at Hillerska without you. 

 

Wille

Did it go okay?

 

Simon

I can take care of myself, you know. But it was okay. I spent some time with Frederika. She is heartbroken that Henry and Stella are together now. 

 

Wille

I would be heartbroken too if it was me who wanted to confess my love to someone and then ended up breaking my nose instead. 

 

Simon

Don’t forget the part where her crush ended up with someone else but she still has to share a room with said crush.

 

Wille

Poor Frederika.

 

Simon

Yes, I feel so bad for her. But she’s actually really cool I think.

 

Wille

Not cooler than me!

 

Simon

You’re not cool, Wille. 

 

Wille

I am!

 

Simon

No, you are such a geek. Luckily for you that’s what turns me in apparently. 

 

Wille

Lucky me!

 

Simon

What are you doing?

 

Wille

Erik and I are on our way into the city. I have to make some last minute accommodations for our spa retreat. 

 

Simon

I can’t believe that you convinced me to go to a spa. It’s so dumb.

 

Wille

No! It’s really nice! You’ll love it.

 

Simon

I find that very hard to believe. Let’s just wait and see, shall we.

 

Wille

This is how happy you will be when you get here and discover how nice a spa can be!

 

Simon

Did you get Erik to take that picture?

 

Wille

Maybe….

 

Simon

You are ridiculous! Say hi to Erik from me!

 

Wille

Erik says hi to you too!

 

The train ride was not a pleasant one, but it was the only way Simon could get to Stockholm as soon as their school vacation started. Linda had work that weekend so she couldn’t drive him, and he wouldn’t ask Wille to send a car for him even though Wille would have done it, no question asked. Simon looked at the landscape passing by the window. Sweden was a beautiful country, especially in the spring and summer months. He left his phone alone for a while just looking outside the window thinking about the week ahead of him. Wille didn’t have any obligations tonight, but tomorrow he would need to attend an event at the Woodland Cemetery together with his parents, and on Sunday Erik, Tindra, and Wille would host an Easter egg hunt at the Kungliga Slotten. 

 

Monday Simon had a meeting with a record label and his mother would join him, and afterwards they had plans to eat lunch together before Linda headed back home to Bjärstad. Wille would be off doing so many things Monday that he would barely notice that Simon would be gone. 

 

Even though Simon was excited and proud to actually have a meeting with a record label, he hadn’t told his boyfriend about it. He knew that he probably should tell Wille, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it because he knew it would complicate things between them—or, maybe not between them, but between him and the Royal Court. He was almost certain that they wouldn’t approve of Wille dating someone who was a recording artist. It would not be a proper match for a prince , so he neglected to tell Wille that he and Ayub had reached out to different labels and that this one label had replied positively and set up a meeting. If it ever became necessary to tell Wille about all of this, he would do it when he had a contract in hand. Not before. 

 

In Stockholm Simon had to change from the train to the metro and then take the route he had done once before to get to Drottningholm. The castle seemed awfully familiar to him when he stood in front of it, only this time all the trees were in bloom and there were daffodils everywhere. The trees in the park were decorated with colorful feathers, as was tradition. The park looked rather beautiful this time of year, but Simon couldn’t help getting a big lump in his stomach when he remembered what had happened last time he was here: the picture, the scrutiny at school afterwards, his loss of faith in himself and everything else that followed. They just had to be more careful this time around he thought to himself as he walked through the park. 

 

Simon

I’m here now. How should I get in?

 

Wille

Simon! You’re here? I’ll come get you. Walk around the castle to our entrance. I’ll meet you on the way. 

 

Simon

Okay, is that like okay? For you to meet me in the park?

 

Simon didn’t know if it was a good idea to meet up in the park, but he had to believe Wille that it would be okay if he wrote that they would meet. As he walked around in the park on his way to the private entrance he soon saw Wille walking towards him with light steps. He looked happy and relaxed as if this park, this setting didn’t upset him the same way it made Simon feel uneasy. 

 

“Hey,” Wille called out as soon as they were within speaking-distance of each other. 

 

“Hey,” Simon smiled at him.

 

When they were in front of each other Wille pulled Simon into a big hug, whispering in his ears, “I missed you so much, love.” 

 

Simon stiffened a bit and when Wille let him go he quickly looked around to see if there were people watching. There were, in fact, a few people watching them, but as far as he could see there were no phones. 

 

“I missed you too, Wille. But umm, I thought that we weren’t supposed to be seen like this in public?” Simon said to Wille. 

 

They started walking towards the entrance, Wille taking some of Simon's baggage. 

 

“We’re not, but I think it’s a silly rule with no purpose so I will not follow it all the time,” Wille said with a smile.

 

“Is that safe for you?” Simon asked. “I mean, can’t you be kicked in the dungeon for not doing what the Queen dictates or something?” 

 

“No, we don’t even have dungeons, Simon. Not here at least,” Wille answered before taking Simon’s hand and dragging him into the castle. 

 

Simon could have protested some more, he could have started an argument about him not wanting to raise the fury of the Queen, but he didn’t because he in many ways felt like Wille. Everybody knew they were dating; people had seen countless pictures of him from school, from his everyday life in Bjärstad, and the latest from their failed date. So why would it matter if they were seen holding hands or hugging? 

 

Inside the castle, Wille led him to his room so he could unpack and get rid of his baggage. As soon as that was sorted out they headed to the kitchen to eat some much needed lunch. 

 

“How was the trip?” Wille asked with his mouth full of food. 

 

“It was okay, nothing I would do on a regular basis though,” Simon answered. “It’s just not that easy of a trip, I guess. But it was better than waiting ’til monday!” 

 

“Much better,” Wille agreed. “I’m sorry it was a hastle for you to take the train. I’m sure I could have a chauffeur pick you up next time?” 

 

“And who would pay that chauffeur?” Simon asked. “The taxpayers? Then I think I’m better off with the train, Wille.”

 

“Well, technically they’ve already paid the money. Each of us, well not me yet because i’m not 18, but each of us get an appanage each year. We decide what we can use it on. If we want to use it on a chauffeur or a new suit is up to us,” Wille explained. “We just have to make sure to have enough left to maintain our castles and pay the staff. Believe it or not, but we haven’t got bottomless resources here.”

 

“You make it sound like you barely get by, Wille. And I know that’s not true,” Simon said dryly.

 

“Okay, I know that it’s not tight around here and that I have everything that I need, but I just wanted to make sure that it doesn’t matter in the big picture if I sent a chauffeur to pick you up another time,” Wille defended himself. 

 

Simon closed his eyes and then drank some water. This was not a conversation he would have right now, because they were clearly not seeing eye-to-eye on this subject and really, how could they? They had two very different backgrounds and upbringings, so it was only natural that they would have different opinions on topics like this one.   

 

“Speaking of having everything you need,” Simon changed the subject, “What do you wish for…for your birthday? It’s soon you know, and you haven’t come up with a wishlist yet.”

 

“Oh, umm. You don’t have to give me anything,” Wille said, blushing a little. “It’s really just enough that you’re here this Friday!” 

 

“Ohh, come on! You must want something?” Simon pushed.

 

“I really just want to be with you, Simon. That’s all I ever want,” Wille continued. 

 

“You are such a sap. I’ll figure something out then,” Simon said while standing up to walk towards Wille and then plant a kiss on his forehead. “Are you done eating so we can go back to your room?” 

 

Wille quickly ate the last of his sandwich before they tidied up the kitchen and then walked towards Wille’s room. 

 

When they were safe and sound in the room they found a movie on Netflix and laid down on the bed to watch it while lying close together.  

 

The next morning the boys were woken by Wille’s alarm going off. 

 

“Make it stop,” Simon groaned from under the duvet where he was tangled together with Wille. “It is too early, Wille.” 

 

Wille giggled and kissed Simon’s hair before reaching out to stop the alarm. 

“It's 8 AM, Simon. It’s not that early.” 

 

“It’s too early when it’s vacation. And I’m so comfy right here,” Simon complained before nuzzling closer to Wille, tangling their legs even further together and draping his entire body on top of Wille. 

 

“I have to get up, love,” Wille softly said to the boy on top of him. Simon only shook his head in response. 

 

“Simon…” Wille sighed, “Mama and Papa expect me to have breakfast with them before we head out today.”

 

There was no response from Simon who just kept laying in his comfortable place on top of Wille. Wille cradled his arms tighter around Simon, kissing his hair again before he in one swift motion turned them around so Simon was laying on the bed. The motion caused Simon to yelp out in surprise before he looked up at Wille.

 

“I’m not impressed by your ability to manhandle me, Wille,” Simon whined from underneath Wille. “It’s not hot at all.” 

 

Wille smiled at him. “You know what I think?” 

 

“What?” Simon challenged.

 

“I think that you secretly love it but are too proud to say so.” Wille bent down and kissed Simon. “I think that you would love for me to do this kind of thing more often.” Another kiss was placed on Simon’s lips. “I think that you can’t get enough of me whatever I do or don’t do.” A third kiss was placed hard on Simon’s lips and Simon gladly welcomed the kiss with just as much passion as Wille put into it. 

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Simon managed to say between kissing Wille. 

 

“Mmm, I think you do.” Wille only smiled at him before continuing to kiss him. 

 

Wille moved his legs so they lay spread between Simon’s. Simon carefully wrapped his own legs around Wille’s as a lock, locking them close together with no room for imagination between them. 

 

“I love you,” Wille whispered before moving his kisses down Simon's throat. They were delicate and tender kisses, yet they were possessive, too. Simon loved when Wille felt so secure in how he loved Simon. He loved how possessive Wille’s caress could feel and how he could just let go of every thought in his head and know that Wille would take care of him with as much passion and love as Simon would take care of Wille too. 

 

He threw his head back as Wille continued kissing down his naked chest. The alarm and breakfast were forgotten. Right now it was only them and their love that mattered. Simon ran his hands through Wille’s blonde hair and let out a deep moan when Wille started to kiss and lick his nipple. Wille had never done this to him before; nobody had done this to him before, and Simon had a very hard time thinking any coherent thought. 

 

“Wille, I..uhhh, Wille,” Simon just sighed into the air. 

 

Wille stopped hesitantly looking up at Simon. “Is it okay? Should I stop?” he asked, concerned. 

 

“No, please don’t stop,” Simon somehow managed to say. “Please just… more, please.”

 

Wille smiled at him before diving down to continue to kiss Simon’s slender body. He kissed his way down to Simon’s belly button, placing a soft kiss at the hollowing before moving his soft kisses down to Simon’s hip bones. 

 

“You are so pretty, Simon,” Willes mused. “So, so pretty.”

 

Simon could only manage to let out a moan in reply and he could feel Wille smiling into his hips at that before he suddenly bit him tightly right beside his right hip bone. It sent a wave of electricity through Simon’s body and he let out a high pitch “Ahhh,” before raising his head to look down at Wille who was just smiling mischievously at him. 

 

“What are you doing?” Simon smiled at Wille.

 

“Something I have thought about doing for a while,” Wille replied, smiling back at Simon. “Is it okay?” 

 

Simon nodded, still smiling down at Wille in return before laying down again, stroking Wille’s hair tenderly. 

 

Wille kept kissing his lover's body, his hands testingly fumbling with the waistband of Simon’s boxers. Simon knew what Wille wanted, but he was somehow grateful for him not just pulling the boxers down without his own explicit permission. Even though they had talked about what they wanted to do they still wanted to take their time getting comfortable together, not pushing each other to do something one of them wasn't ready for. They wanted to be in it together, like with everything else. 

 

Simon let his hands caress Wille’s arms all the way down to his hands. When their hands met he laced them together, squeezing them quickly before helping Wille remove the boxers that were clearly in the way for whatever Wille had in mind. Wille threw them on the floor so they could join the clothes they carelessly had thrown on the floor last night. 

 

“So, pretty,” Wille whispered against Simon's hip before untangling their legs so he could more easily place small kisses all the way down Simon’s legs. First he made his way down one leg, making sure to cover every inch of it with small kisses, then he changed legs and kissed it all the way back up to Simon’s hip. 

 

Simon had no idea how he still was alive. Every inch of him was on fire, hyper-aware of every single move, touch and caress Wille made. He could feel Wille’s breath on him so close to each kiss that was placed lovingly on him. He had no idea if he was quiet, if he was babbling, or just moaning, but he didn’t care. It was like he was floating on a cloud in an universe that was purely Wille, Wille, his Wille. Every touch that was placed on Simon was like heaven and every kiss was even more. He was so full of love towards the blonde boy who was kissing every single part of his body, worshiping him, that he felt like he was about to burst into a thousand pieces. 

 

He could feel Wille’s breath so close to his cock, and it felt so amazing and painful at the same time. He wanted more. He wanted Wille to touch him, but Wille just kept kissing Simon’s body, not getting to the part that he really needed to get attention. 

 

“Wille please,” he finally let out. It came out as a whine. 

 

Wille stopped kissing him, buried his nose into Simon’s neck and mumbled, “What do you need, love?” 

 

“Please, Wille,” Simon said again. “I just, please just… touch me?” The last part came out as a question without Simon meaning it to be one. 

 

Wille quickly kissed the top of Simon’s cock. It caused Simon to gasp out in surprise and pleasure at the same time. Wille smirked up at Simon, asking with a hoarse voice, “Like this?”

 

Simon nodded frantically. “Yes, please Wille. More of that.”

 

Wille softly kissed his belly before turning his attention back to Simon’s cock, kissing it lightly like he was afraid to break it somehow. Then he placed himself well between Simon’s legs, he placed one hand on Simon’s hip and the other around the base of his cock. He let out a final breath before he engulfed Simon in the heat of his mouth. 

 

Simon was gone. There was nothing more to say about that because he was so gone for Wille and what he was doing to him. If he had thought he was in heaven before, it was nothing compared to how Wille was making him feel right now. He was sure that he was loud. He couldn’t help it. He had to let his pleasure out somehow and moaning loudly seemed like the only reasonable outlet for him in that moment. It wasn’t long before he could feel Wille’s hand move from his hip to his mouth. 

 

“Shhh, love. The walls are thin. Old house and all that,” Wille whispered, trying to make Simon quiet down by covering his mouth with his own hand. He then dived down again and continued what he had been doing. 

 

“I just, I can’t… Wille,” Simon moaned before biting down on Wille’s hand to muffle his own sounds. 

 

Not long after Simon let go of Wille’s hand, he was warning him. “Wille, I’m so close, please just…” Simon tried.

Wille removed his mouth with a loud pop and looked intensely at Simon, but he continued to use his hand to get Simon over the edge. 

 

Simon was boneless, he was sure of that. The way he felt when he was coming down from his high must be how a boneless body felt. He could faintly feel Wille wiping his belly clean before laying himself beside Simon in the bed, caressing one of his arms softly. 

 

When Simon was somewhat back to earth again he turned around to look at Wille. Wille looked so fragile now. Gone was the secure and strong boy who had just made Simon feel like he’d never felt before and in front of him was his Wille who always was afraid not to live up to people's expectations—the beautiful boy that got sick just from the thought of speaking in front of other people. 

 

“Was it okay?” Wille asked nervously, breaking their eye contact.

 

“Wille, look at me, love,” Simon beckoned. 

 

Wille did so with shy eyes. Simon wrapped his arms around him, looking him straight in the eyes.

 

“It was so, so perfect. You are perfect.” He kissed Wille slowly before adding, “I love you so much it hurts, Wille.” 

 

They put their foreheads together breathing in the same air—just for a moment more before they let the outside world back in. 

 

“I have to get ready,” Wille whispered all too soon. “I should probably take a shower before going anywhere.” 

 

“But, wait. You haven't… I mean… I’m the only one who came,” Simon stuttered. “Shouldn’t I like… do something?” 

 

Wille kissed him quickly before getting out of bed and placing the duvet over Simon to warm him. 

 

“It’s okay. I’ll just, you know, take care of that in the shower. This was for you.” He leaned down and kissed Simon’s forehead. “Go back to sleep if you need it, Simon. As much as I don't want to, I have to go. I’m already late.”

 

Simon looked up at Wille smiling at him. “Go do your princely shit, Your Highness. Do you know when you will be back?” He then asked with a smile. 

 

“Don’t call me that, please,” Wille asked before answering Simon. “I should be home for supper and then we’ll have the evening together. That’s okay right?” ‘

 

“Sure. I knew you had to do all these things, Wille. Of course it’s okay!”

 

After some tender kisses and lots of I love yous Wille hurriedly ran out the door headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower before before being way too late meeting his parents for breakfast. 

 

Simon spent most of the day in Wilhelm’s room, gaming on his laptop, eating lunch in bed and just chilling like he would have done at home. His thoughts kept circling back to that morning and how it had felt like Wille had worshiped his entire being. Sure, it was great to get off, but all the small things Wille had done that lead up to Simon getting off, felt just as amazing if not more so. It hadn’t just been about Wille getting Simon to come; it had been so much more. A declaration of love, want, desire, devotion, and respect. It had made Simon feel so safe, like Wille was his home. 

 

It scared him that he felt so much for Wille. It scared him that he didn’t know if it was normal to feel so much after only a couple of months together. Because to him this wasn’t just fascination and want. This was sincere, deep, and pure. Simon was sure that and he and Wille felt the same way. Wille would never let anybody be so close to him unless he really was sure the person was honest with their feelings and intentions towards him. Simon would never do that himself. 

 

Even though Wille guarded his privacy and was quite vocal about the importance of privacy, Simon maintained his own privacy too, not letting people know everything about him just because they were close. Wille was probably the person who knew the most about him right now, and that also scared Simon. What if they weren't end game? So much could happen between them that could destroy what they had and what they felt for each other. What would Wille say when he found out about the record label - if he had to find out that was. What would a possible contract do to their relationship? Would Wille get mad at him or think that Simon didn’t trust him? 

 

There were so many what ifs circling Simon’s imagination that he became dizzy and worried by thinking about them. He decided to take a walk in the park to clear his head. The weather was lovely, and Boris had suggested that he should take some more walks to clear his head and get some sunlight and fresh air. 

 

There were a fair share of people walking around in the park, but Simon was pretty certain that he would be able to walk around unnoticed when he wasn't with Wille. The walk ended up being a rather long one. He got lost in his thoughts thinking about the meeting he had Monday and what that could possibly mean for his future and for his relationship with Wille. Was he ready to sacrifice one thing in order to have the other thing? 

 

When he came back to the palace it was late afternoon and it wouldn’t be long before Wille would be back if the time table still was correct. He didn’t know if there had been any delays or something like that throughout the day.



Ayub

Bro, are you being stood up by the prince?

The headline says: Trouble in Paradise - Simon Walking Around Alone Near Drottningholm 

 

Against his better judgment, Simon clicked at the link that took him to the article. 



  Trouble in Paradise - Simon Walking Around Alone Near Drottningholm

 

Saturday afternoon Simon Eriksson, better known as Prince Wilhelm’s sweetheart, was seen walking around alone in the park near Drottningholm castle. Simon was sporting a red jacket and loose pants looking rather sad. The young Prince Wilhelm was nowhere to be seen. Is this proof that there is trouble in paradise? 


The two boys were first seen together in the same park between Christmas and New Years Eve last year where they were sharing soft kisses. Afterwards, the couple has been spotted numerous times in Bjärstad where Simon lives. It is also the town where the prestigious school Hillerska is located. Both boys attend Hillerska at this given time, Simon only transferred there this year after Prince Wilhelm made a public statement asking for privacy. 

Both boys are only 16 years old but have been taking their relationship very seriously, at least that’s what they have made us think this far. Seeing the prince's sweetheart walking around alone in the park this close to Prince Wilhelm’s birthday makes us believe that he is not welcome within the royal family any longer. What do you think? Give us your thoughts on Simon’s outing below in the comment section. 

 

Simon

What the actual fuck!

 

Ayub

I know bro. It’s so fucked up.

 

Simon

I was just taking a walk. Needed some air to think things through.

 

Ayub

Why are there always stories in tabloids everytime you go to that castle?

 

Simon

I’ve been here once before, Ayub

 

Ayub

Still, though.

 

Simon

Why is it that it’s always you who knows that there are stories written about me? 

 

Ayub

I’m your secret stalker, get used to it.

 

Simon

Of cause. I’ve forgotten all about my secret stalker who’s also my best friend. How silly of me.



Simon sighed and pondered whether to send this to Wille. He would probably see it no matter what so in the end he just sent the link to Wille. Might as well be him who shares the story with wille. 

 

Wille

Ohh, guess I’m single now. 

 

Simon

Not funny, love

 

Wille

If it’s in a magazine it has to be true! I don’t make the rules, Simon

 

Simon

You are so dumb, Wille. Why are we even together?

 

Wille

We aren’t anymore, remember? haha.

 

Simon

OMG, Just… When will you be back? 

 

Wille

I’m in the car and on my way back home now. Mama’s sending me threatening looks because I’m texting instead of engaging in pleasant conversation with her and Papa. 

 

Simon

Sounds like so much fun!

 

Wille

You have no idea. I missed you today <3

 

Simon

I missed you too <3  

 

Wille

Are you okay though?

 

Simon

I guess I am. It’s funny. It doesn't really bother me that much because I know that it’s not true at all. 

 

Wille

Good, don’t let any of this get you down, Simon! You are worth anything, remember that <3

 

Simon

WE are worth anything <3

 

Simon was sitting in the kitchen sipping a cup of coffee when he was surprised by a big hug that made him almost spill his coffee all over the table. 

 

“Missed you so much!” Wille whispered into Simon’s ear as he hugged him tightly.

 

“Easy now,” Simon laughed. “I almost spilled all my coffee. But, I missed you too, love.” 

 

Simon turned his head around to kiss his boyfriend and give him a proper hug. It hadn’t been a lie that he had missed Wille throughout the day. As much as he had liked to have some time for himself and his thoughts, he had had this strange longing just to be near Wille after what they had experienced together that same morning. Wille was becoming his drug that he needed every hour of the day, Simon thought to himself as he buried his nose in the crook of Wille’s neck and lingered on the intoxicating scent of Wille. 

 

“Where are your parents?” Simon asked when they pulled away from each other a little. 

 

“Mmm, they had a meeting. Something about them flying to Gällivare tomorrow to make a visit somewhere I can’t recall,” Wille explained. They’ll be back Monday afternoon if I remember correctly.” 

 

“Ohh okay, so much for family time, huh?” Simon said and looked at Wille to figure out his mood. 

 

Wille looked away, not meeting Simon’s eyes. “It is how it is. I’m used to it by now, Simon,” he said carefully. “Besides, I have you here. Why would I spend time with my family when you’re here?” 

 

Simon laughed. “You see me every day, Wille.” 

 

“True,” Wille replied. “But here it’s just us—no classes or people to interrupt us. We are always together with so many people at school that we’re never alone. I really missed just being with you just the two of us.”

 

Simon kissed Wille before jokingly saying, “You make it sound like such a bad thing that we have friends to hang with at school.” 

 

Wille only pushed him lightly as a response before they headed back to Wille’s room to have some time alone before supper.

 

The next day unfolded much like the previous day: they decided to sleep in, which meant that they only had time for some very quick and sloppy hand-jobs before Erik was banging on Wille’s door demanding him to come out so they wouldn’t be late for their Easter Egg hunt. 

 

Wille had cursed his brother to hell and back for that interruption, but Simon had only laughed at Wille before helping him find some clothes (casual, but not too casual), and then shoved him out the big door with a big laugh. 

 

Afterwards he went back to bed and to get some more sleep. He was really not a fan of early mornings—especially early mornings during vacation; those should be illegal. He buried his nose in Wille’s pillow and inhaled his scent that was still lingering freshly on it. Why did he already miss Wille? That was a bit pathetic on his part that he couldn’t get through the day without him… He had done that plenty of times before. 

 

Simon woke up again closer to noon before he got up and out of bed. He put on some sweats and an old, used t-shirt he found and then made his way to the kitchen where he poured himself a bowl of cereal. He checked his phone, sent a message to his mom telling her that everything was fine and that he looked forward to seeing her tomorrow. Then he went back to the bedroom, put on some headphones and found his laptop so he could game—just for a while. 

 

He was startled by a tap on his shoulder that made him jump and almost drop the laptop on the floor. “WTF, Wille!” Simon hissed.

 

“I’ve called your name like five times, Simon,” Wille smiled at him.

 

“Clearly not loud enough!” Simon complained before pausing his game and making grabby hands towards Wille. “Why are you already back?” 

 

Wille sat down beside Simon and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

 

“It's almost 6 PM, Simon.”

 

“Ohh,” Simon looked at him with big eyes which made Wille laugh. He thought to himself that Wille had the most fantastic laugh.

 

“We brought pizzas back for supper. We thought we could eat them while watching a movie together. All three of us are absolutely knackered after today.” Wille explained 

 

“Yeah sure,” Simon said with a small smile. “I just umm, need to get dressed and brush my teeth before we find Erik and Tindra.” 

 

“Simon? Have you been gaming all day?” Wille asked, amazed. 

 

“Maybe…” Simon said in a questioning voice. 

 

Wille just shook his head and got up from the bed and proceeded to find something more relaxing to wear than jeans and a shirt. Simon followed his example and went over to his suitcase to find some clean clothes for himself before rushing to the bathroom to relieve himself and brush his teeth. 

 

It was nice just chilling with Erik and Tindra. They were both really down-to-earth. When Erik stopped teasing Wille and Simon, Simon found that he actually liked both of them. Tindra was like the softest little lamb always trying to smooth out a situation between the two brothers, and she was very attentive towards Simon, too, always making sure he felt included in the conversations. Erik was lucky to have a fiancé like her, he thought to himself. She would make a good queen someday. 

 

They had ended up watching Troll , the new Norwegian movie on Netflix just because they couldn’t decide on anything else, and it turned out to be an excellent movie. It had family drama, action, and history, which made Wille happy. It even had some love aspects, too. 

 

“Did you know that trolls first appeared in the Prosa Ebba ?” Wille asked no one in particular. 

 

“Sorry, love. I’m not that strong in my history about trolls. Guess we didn’t cover that topic at Marieberg,” Simon teased him.

 

Erik and Tindra smiled fondly at them. 

 

“Shut up, Simon! The Prosa Ebba is the oldest written source that mentions trolls as a species. But it’s so confusing and interesting because trolleri was just a word that one would use about unnatural things and something people could do, but then these myths about trolls sprung up in Viking folklore and the Norse mythology, and now we have these modern-day trolls that live in the mountains. It's so mind-blowing because the Prosa Ebba is an old Icelandic piece which has set its footprints throughout all of Scandinavia and…” Wille paused to breathe only to be interrupted by Erik. 

 

“Thank you very much for your lesson on trolls, little brother,” the Crown Prince said, “but frankly nobody cares!” 

 

“Erik, be nice to Wille,” Tindra reprimanded the oldest prince. “He’s just sharing something he’s really excited about.” She kissed Erik on his cheek and pulled him back so he was laying on her again, head resting in her lap. 

 

“But it is kind of true, Wille,” Simon said with a smile. “I think you’re the only one who really cares about the origin of trolls.” He kissed Wille gently before he too laid himself down on the other boy. Contrary to Erik, Simon had opted to drape half of his body on top of Wille’s. One leg swung around Wille’s two legs, one arm holding securely around Wille’s waist and his head resting on Wille’s chest. 

 

They continued to watch the movie without much more conversation and Simon felt an odd sense of calm settle in his chest. This was such a normal thing to just lay and watch a movie with the boy he loved and his family. There was no need for putting on a mask just for appearance or to act a certain way because of the titles that the two princes held. This felt like it was a second home. Pizza boxes were scattered on the coffee table between the two sofas, there were bottles of soda placed on the floor so they didn’t cover the tv screen, and there were no staff or other strange people walking around in suits informing them of the day's program or the timetable that was laid out for them. This was how every evening at the castle should be.

 

Simon kissed Wille’s chest, which made Wille hold Simon a bit tighter. Wille deserved to have all of this, Simon thought to himself. Wille was such an amazing person, taking care of others, trying to do well in school while still living up to his parents' sky-high expectations of him and his image. He managed to make Simon feel amazing inside out, and he managed to fight through his anxiety whenever it hit him. Wille deserved nice things like this moment, and Simon hoped that he had had many of these moments like this one to come. 

 

It was dark when the boys went back to Wille’s room. It wasn’t too late, but they both needed to get up early the next day. It was still dark because it was Sweden and it was April. In just a month or two the nights would be dim but not pitch black like they are now. They didn’t switch the light on as they entered the room. Instead they crashed on the bed, clothes on and all. 

 

“I’m so tired after today,” Wille complained. 

 

“Too tired to have some fun?” Simon asked, trying to sound seductive but probably failing.

“Almost, yes,” Wille hummed, closing his eyes and placing one of his arms over his head. 

 

“Let me help you relax then,” Simon said and started to pull down Wille’s sweats a little. 

 

“Simon…” Wille sighed. “You don’t have to.” 

 

Simon pulled up Wille’s t-shirt and kissed his stomach. “But I want to, Wille. Just relax and let me do this, okay?”

 

Willed nodded his head but kept his eyes closed while Simon gently pulled down the sweats and one by one got his feet freed from the pants. He then quickly got rid of his own pair of sweats and his t-shirt, straddling Wille only wearing his boxers. 

 

“Can you sit up a little, love. I need to remove your t-shirt,” Simon whispered out in the dark room. 

 

Wille did as he was told and soon after Simon had pulled Wille’s t-shirt off him and thrown it onto the floor. Before Wille could lay down again, Simon threw his arms around him and captured his lips in a gentle, passionate kiss. Then he let Wille lay down again and opted to kiss him on the neck, behind the ears, at his collarbone, everywhere. 

 

Simon had thought of this ever since Saturday morning. He wanted to make Wille feel like he felt that morning, but he wouldn’t just copy what Wille had done. Wille had been so instinctual in his actions and here was Simon, overthinking things to an extreme. He cursed himself for getting lost in his thoughts again and brought his focus back to Wille. 

He ran his fingers down Wille’s body while still kissing and sucking behind his ear. It made Wille breathe harder and more rapidly, so Simon continued with what he was doing. 

His hands found Willes cock and he pushed his palm against the bulge that was clearly showing. 

 

“Simon…” Wille breathed in such a soft voice that Simon almost missed it. 

 

“Just relax, love. I got you,” Simon whispered to Wille, biting his earlobe gently before kissing down his body in sloppy kisses. He could feel Wille’s fingers lightly pulling his hair, and he could feel how Wille had problems lying still, his hips jerking uncontrollably from time-to-time. 

 

“You are so beautiful, Wille,” Simon whispered down his stomach before pulling down Wille’s boxers and taking his cock in his hand, pumping it slowly. 

 

Simon kept whispering compliments to Wille while kissing him, caressing him, and touching him, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to do more. To feel more. In a quick decision he pulled his own boxers off, let go of Wille’s cock and straddled his boyfriend again. Wille’s hands were instantly wrapped around Simon and Simon crashed their lips together in one sloppy and urgent kiss after the other. 

 

Every nerve in him was awake and aware that they were lying together like this—naked, without anything hidden from one another.

 

Simon rutted his hips into Wille’s uncontrollably, which caused Wille to let out a loud whine before he met Simon’s movements with his own hips. 

 

The friction was rough and dry, their combined precum not enough to make it a smooth feeling, but it was still so good, but also not enough. 

 

“Wait,” Simon breathed out before he took his hand and messily spit in it before reaching down and placing his hand around both of their painfully erect cocks. He held himself up on his other arm and started pumping with the hand wrapped around both of them. Wille threw back his head and let a deep moan escape from deep down in his chest. It turned Simon on so much to hear Wille make all of these obscene sounds and to know that it was because of what they did. Without meaning to, he let out a loud moan himself, before hurriedly saying, “Sorry, sorry, sorry.” 

 

Wille quickly placed one of his hands on Simon’s face pulling Simon to kiss him. He held Simon’s head in place so the moans that escaped Simon were drowned out by their kisses. Wille was the one who came first with a deep groan and some small shuddering movements from his body. Simon kept pumping himself, kissing Wille until he too reached the edge and went over it. He collapsed down on Wille, spent and happy. 

 

“Okay?” he asked from where he had placed his head in Wille’s crook of his neck before starting to plant small kisses there. 

 

“Mmmm, very,” Wille only replied before letting out a big yawn and kissing Simon’s curls.

Chapter 19: Chapter Nineteen

Summary:

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear, Wilhelm! Happy birthday to you!” Simon's voice was heard in Wille’s bedroom before Simon opted to kiss his not quite sleeping boyfriend to wake him up properly.

Wille groaned in the most adorable way, slowly waking up to Simon’s soft voice.

“Why are you calling me Wilhelm?” he asked sleepily.

“Because that’s your name,” Simon deadpanned.

“You never call me that,” Wille complained, turning around to get a better angle for holding Simon. “Stop doing that. I don’t like it. It sounds wrong.” 

Notes:

Happy Friday! I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it!!!!
This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.
This fic is crossing over 100k words now, which I think is pretty good for a first-time fic.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter Nineteen 

Monday morning was a rainy morning. After saying goodbye to Wille, Simon took a quick shower before heading out to catch the metro so he could meet his mother in the center of Stockholm.

 

Linda was waiting for him when he stepped out at Odenplan and he quickly walked over to her, giving her a big hug. 

 

“Why are you taking pictures of me, Mama?” Simon asked before whispering to her, “I'm so nervous.” 

 

“I have to admit that I'm nervous too, Simon,” Linda said to her son as soon as they moved away from the hug. “This is so exciting for you, mi amor, and I want us, you, to remember this day!” 

 

Simon only nodded, smiling like a maniac and together they walked the short way to the record label where the meeting would take place. 

 

The meeting went well. Both Simon and Linda had had a lot of questions ready for the producers and they had all been answered politely. The producers loved the single Simon had sent in and they would like to release it. If it did well they would sign him with a bigger contract. Simon and Linda had been given a lot of papers that they needed a lawyer to look through before anything was final.  

 

Overall, Simon was ecstatic. He couldn't believe that he was given this chance so easily. It felt like he had almost flown through every obstacle on his way towards this opportunity. It almost felt too easy.

 

Linda and Simon found a nice little restaurant to eat some lunch before they headed out for some sightseeing. It was not very big, but just right for them. It was an Italian restaurant and it felt very authentic even though it probably wasn’t. The staff was all looking very Swedish and not very Italian, but that didn’t mean that it would be a bad place to eat. It was covered in small fairy lights and lots of plants. The lights were dim and the seating arrangement all looked private and well thought through. It was not just like the owner had stuffed the place with as many tables and chairs as possible. This was a place Wille would love, Simon thought to himself.  

 

After being shown the way to a free table, Linda and Simon looked through the menu and both decided on some pasta for lunch to warm them up, on that rainy spring day. Simon made a classic choice and ordered pasta carbonara together with a coke while Linda was a bit more adventurous and ordered a pasta dish with king prawns and chili and a glass of white wine.

 

While they were waiting for their food, Simon mentioned to his mother that he had yet to buy a birthday present for Wille. “I have no idea what to give him, Mama.” Simon sighed. “He has everything and he doesn't want anything from me.” 

 

“But you would like to give him something because it's him, right?” Linda asked knowingly. 

 

“Exactly. He’s just done so much for me, and I know it’s silly, but I want to show him how much that means to me,” Simon answered. “I have even googled what to give a prince and nothing useful came up! I just want to show him how special he is to me, you know.” 

 

Linda smiled fondly at her son. “Okay, Simon we'll figure this out,” Linda said before pausing when the waiter came with their food. “Tell me about Wilhelm. What does he like? Is there anything he is more into than other stuff that he likes?” she continued when they were alone again. 

 

“Umm,” Simon thought for a moment. “He really likes plants. Like, he really, really likes them. He would love this place and all the hanging plants. Did you know that he was afraid that the gardeners and other staff at the castle wouldn’t take proper care of his plants when he left for Hillerska? And that he has tried to lecture me about the different types of soil and which kind of plants that need special kinds of soil. It's so confusing, Mama.” 

 

“No, I didn’t know that. It’s sweet that you let him tell you all of that considering that you would kill a plant only by looking at it,” Linda smiled at him.

 

“Haha, you are so funny! It’s so dumb, really. Like he could take care of a plant in a better way than an actual royal gardener. He is just so silly like that. And ohh,” Simon took a bite of his pasta, “he's so into Harry Potter that it's kind of creepy. He can tell the difference between the movies and the books. That's insane, Mama!” 

 

Linda just continued to smile at Simon while he kept talking about Wille and what he liked. He was glad that she just let him talk about Wille as long as he wanted to. No one ever let him do that without complaining or making fun of him. Ayub and Rosh always made fun of him for being whipped and too dependent on Wille, but what could Simon do? It wasn’t like he could gush over Wille to Wille, so he had to do it to Ayub and Rosh who in return would tease him fondly. 

 

Of course he had his friends at Hillerska, but they were not only shared friends but also new friends, so he didn’t feel comfortable discussing his and Wille's relationship with them. And he didn’t know if he would be able to attend Hillerska next year. 

 

Simon would never admit to it, but it also warmed his heart that Linda actually wanted to get to know Wille and that she wanted their relationship to be healthy and last. She had told him that herself before he took the train to Stockholm only a few days ago. Who would have thought that back in December and January so much could change in such a short amount of time!

 

Everything was lining up so perfectly, and Simon couldn't be happier. 

 

When they had finished their lunch Simon had an idea of what he wanted to give Wille for his birthday, and he was certain he could get what he needed for the present here in Stockholm. His only problem was to find out how to hide the present from Wille until Friday. He might need Erik and Tindra’s help with that.  

 

After their lunch the weather was looking much better, so Linda and Simon went on a boat tour through the canals of Stockholm. They went shopping as well, and in the afternoon they visited Skansen, an open-air museum both of them had never been to. They visited the Baltic Sea Aquarium before finding a nice café where they would buy a light supper since their lunch had been quite heavy.. 

 

It was evening before Simon was back at Drottningholm again. As he walked out of the metro he wrote a quick text to Wille. They hadn't texted all day and it felt strange not knowing how his boyfriend was or how his day had gone. 

 

Simon

Almost at your place now. Are you back?

 

Wille 

Simon! I've been back for 30 minutes or so. Was surprised that you were not back before me.

 

Simon 

Yeah. Mama and I just had a really good time so…. Umm, sorry I didn’t text you throughout the day. It was just so nice having a day alone with her again. She was so excited to see me and spend the day with me that she documented the whole day. Look…

Wille 

Hey, no need to be sorry. I'm glad that you had a nice day with your Mama. I was busy too, remember. I'll meet you at the door. <3

 

Simon smiled. It was so typical of Wille to meet him at the door instead of just waiting for Simon to get to his bedroom. That was his attentive and considerate boyfriend. 

 

The private front door was open when Simon reached it Wille was leaning casually in the doorframe like that didn’t make him look even hotter than normal. But there was something off with the features in his face, the way he stood and just the way he carried himself in general. It was all because he’d had a long day filled with media and royal business, Simon thought to himself, not wanting to read more into it in case it was nothing. As Simon stepped in front of him, Wille bent down to place a kiss on his lips right there for everyone to see.

 

“Mmm, missed you today,” Wille mumbled to Simon before removing himself from the door and letting Simon in.

 

“I missed you, too! Did you have a nice day?” Simon asked when taking off his red jacket and dropping his shopping bags on the floor.

 

“It could have been better,” Wille started, taking Simon’s hand and leading them the way towards his room.

 

Simon squeezed Wille’s hand as they so often did to offer comfort to each other and to show that he was there for Wille to talk to if he needed it, but Wille didn’t continue or elaborate. 

 

“Tell me about it, love,” he asked encouragingly.

 

Wille looked around nervously before hurrying to say, “I'll tell you about it in my room, okay.” 

 

“Okay,” Simon replied, puzzled. Something was surely wrong with Wille or something had happened to him today, and it scared Simon. Wille didn’t deserve anything bad coming his way. Wille was the kindest person Simon knew, but Wille was not really acting as he usually would and it made Simon worried for him. He knew Wille had a hard time letting anybody in, thinking he shouldn't bother others with his problems or that it wasn’t anybody else's business what he was doing and feeling, but he had started to let Simon in to see the real Wille from early on, way back in December, so why couldn’t he just say what was wrong now? 

 

Inside Wille's room the prince turned around and looked at Simon.  

 

“Please just hold me,” he said weakly.

 

Simon instantly threw his arms around Wille who, despite his height, looked so small and defeated right now. 

 

Wille let his head rest on Simon’s shoulder and Simon had to steady himself, because Wille was leaning all of his weight on Simon. Simon could hear a muffled sob escaping from Wille before he started to cry for real.   

 

“I fucked up, Simon,” Wille cried heartbroken. “I fucked up so bad.”

 

“What do you mean?” Simon asked, confused. “What happened today, Wille?”

 

“I can't, Simon,” Wille was crying. “I can't. Mama, you… I, I….” 

 

“Hey you, come on,” Simon gently said and maneuvered Wille towards his bed. “Sit down, love. Breathe. In and out. Slow, okay.”

 

He pushed his own growing anxiety down in order to calm Wille, who was still breathing too fast. Carefully, as if not to startle the prince, he placed his hand on Wille's back and began rubbing it in soothing circles.

 

“You are doing so good, Wille. Just breathe with me,” he kept saying, staring out into the room. It offered so much luxury and comfort, and yet it did nothing to comfort Wille nor Simon, for that matter. The room was just full of material things that, in the end, didn’t matter that much. Simon then looked at Wille who was concentrating so hard on breathing evenly and calming down his heart, that Simon’s heart just ached for this boy. What had happened to him? Everything had been fine that morning when they left the palace to go their separate ways for the day. 

 

After quite some time of Simon continuing his mantra about breathing and doing fine, Wille was finally breathing normally again. He let his head drop down into Simon’s lap and placed himself on the bed in a lying position. Simon instantly cradled one of his hands in the golden hair and wrapped the other one around Wille, comforting him with soft touches of support. 

 

“When we got to our first event today there was so much press. Way more than normal.  It didn’t go well with my anxiety, which was already threatening to get out of control. It was awful. All the cameras were pointing at us, lights were flashing, and they kept asking about you, us, and why you were alone in the park,” Wille took a deep breath. “We didn't say anything, of course. Mama and Papa just began talking about the hospital and the importance of their work and all that, but all the paps just kept yelling your name and asking about you and why you’re in Stockholm if we’re broken up. It was a bit better once we got inside and were shown around the unit. It really was a great place, Simon, and they do so many good things for their patients, but I just couldn't really focus on anything that went on and that made Mama mad, I guess. I was so distant and in my head the whole time that I  even forgot to shake hands with some doctors,” Wille explained.

 

“Ohh, Wille. I'm so sorry you had to go through this today. It’s not fair for you, but it’s just stupid rumors, right? We know better,” Simon sighed. 

 

“It wasn’t the worst thing that happened today,” Wille replied dryly. “We were shown around the newly constructed garden just outside the hospital wing we were at, and of course there was press there too. Some started asking if it was all just a big teenage rebellion from my side, an act if you will. Me, dating a boy, and making a public statement about that. They were asking if I just had played you to get my curiosity met or if I was trying to gain popularity from the LGBTQ+ society of Sweden. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t comment on anything that was asked. I got angry, though, but I didn’t say anything, Simon. But when they started talking badly about you I couldn't hold it in any longer. I'm so sorry, Simon.”

 

Wille's breathing was growing quicker again and Simon shushed him, caressing him and kissing his hair lightly to calm him down. 

 

“Shhh, it's okay. There is nothing to be sorry about, Wille,” Simon said. 

 

“I called them all liars, Simon. Greedy, careless, liars that would do anything for a good story. I yelled at them that they were all superficial, egocentric people with no care in the world for the people they harass. I yelled that you would never do anything to hurt me, that you are the best damn thing in my life and that I love you and will keep loving you as long as you let me.” 

 

“Wille,” Simon whispered down into his hair.

 

“Two bodyguards then pulled me away and into our car, where I had to wait until Mama and Papa were done with the visit,” Wille complained in a whisper. “And then I had to hear both of them reprimand me and correct me all the way to our next destination, which was some kind of new area of protected nature or something. I had to wait in the car while they took care of business, because they were afraid I would blow up again.”

 

“You should be allowed to defend yourself, Wille,” Simon slowly said. “I don’t get why you can’t call them out on a lie. I would do that if it was me who was in your shoes, too.” 

 

“But, Simon. That’s not how things work here,” Wille sighed. “We don’t comment on private matters; we don’t take a political stance. We make ourselves seem perfect in order to maintain the picture of this perfect family that is just slightly out of reach for the rest of Sweden. It’s all a big charade that we have to keep up in order to survive, Simon.” 

 

Simon sighed and placed himself on the bed next to Wille, spooning him and placing small kisses on his neck. 

 

“But does it still have to be that way?” He thoughtfully said.

 

“What do you mean?” Wille asked.

 

“It’s just,” Simon thought for a minute just to make sure he said the right thing. “You, Erik, even Tindra. You are the new generation of the royal family and maybe you guys could reform some stuff. Start to show the world that you’re not so far away from the common Swede? Like, you - liking me - that’s new and something that really hasn't blown up in the court’s face, right? You going out and asking for privacy on my behalf has not had a negative impact on your standing has it?”

 

Wille turned around and looked at Simon.

 

“Yes and no,” he said. “Me getting outed was really not good, Simon. A lot of supporters kind of had a lot of negative things to say about me, but there were also a lot of - especially young people - who were so, so supportive, and our ratings actually grew when I made the statement. But umm, I kind of had this talk with Mama about that…”

 

“Do I even want to know what that talk was about?” Simon asked, slightly scared. He knew the Queen would bring any matter she deemed important up, no matter how uncomfortable it would be for the participants of the conversation. 

 

Wille took a deep breath before telling Simon about their conversation. 

 

“We talked a lot on the phone after I went back to Hillerska, especially when I told her that I needed to make that declaration. Not because I wanted to do it, but because it needed to be done. You have to understand that Mama will always do what’s best for the Royal Family and our image. That’s just how she is raised, I guess. But umm… She told me that if it wasn’t that clear that it was me in that picture the court would deny any association with the picture and with you and she would have requested that I no longer have any contact with you.” 

 

“What?!” Simon’s eyes grew wide in horror. No contact at all. That was unthinkable for him. How could he just cut all contact with Wille because his mother said so. Wille placed his forehead against Simon’s before continuing. 

 

“She would have much rather that I didn’t come out to the world. That I would have kept my identity to myself or just within the family. As she keeps saying, “I might fall in love with a sweet girl one day and that will make it all easier for all of us.” 

 

“But doesn't she know that you are in love with me now?” Simon wondered. “Like, I know that you might fall in love with somebody more suitable for you at some point; I’m not dumb, but how can she be so… so…. not understanding?”

 

“She’s not, not understanding. She’s just being very practical, Simon,” Wille tried to explain. “But don’t worry. I told her that I’m with you, and she knows that now! And you should know that you are the most suitable person for me to ever be with, Simon. I love YOU!” 

 

Wille kissed Simon, letting him feel how much he loved his curly-haired boyfriend. Normally Simon would be all in, but he couldn’t ignore the unsettling feeling in his gut that had just grown bigger. Because he wasn’t the best match for Wille if he got signed as an artist. He knew that, but he still kept that small dream alive, believing he could have both—a career and Wille. And worst of all, he hadn't said anything to Wille about the record label and how close he was to getting a single released, and he probably should tell his boyfriend about this, but he just couldn’t make himself do it. It would be a catastrophic conversation; he knew that. Wille would get hurt, and he would get hurt, too. They would probably say some shit to each other that they didn’t mean, so it was for the best not to tell Wille anything until it was certain that he would release a single. That was what Simon kept telling himself as Wille started to pull Simon’s red hoodie off him. 

 

Tuesday and Wednesday Wille was told to stay at the castle due to his reckless behavior that Monday. Wille was not sorry that he had to stay home instead of going with his parents to all sorts of official events, but Simon knew that it bothered him that he had slipped up that badly. He was also told to attend some of the meetings Erik needed to have just so he would get a picture of how things really worked within court. This was something Wille was less excited about and he had vocally objected to the idea of him attending meetings while Simon was visiting. 

 

Simon didn’t know how to feel about that. On the one hand, he wanted to spend as much time together with Wille as possible, but on the other hand, he felt sort of guilty. It was him Wille had been protecting, and if he just had stayed inside instead of going to the park that weekend none of this would have happened. Wille would not have needed to defend their relationship, and of course, it would have prevented a lot of trouble for the Queen and Ludvig. Simon just felt so, so guilty. And then there was the thing with the record label that made him feel even more guilty. It made his insides hurt. 

 

Wille

This is so boring, Simon. Remind me why I need to do this

 

Simon

You need to do this to prove that you can be a good, little, prince and behave just like your Mama wants you to behave <3

 

Wille

Argh… Not helping. Shit, Erik’s looking at me…

 

Simon

That’s not a bad thing. It’s just your brother, Wille. Relax. It’s over in like… an hour or so <3

 

Wille

He’s looking at me like I’m messing up this meeting.

 

Simon

Then you should stop texting me, love.

 

Wille

But it’s so boring. And come on… We all know I haven't gotten a say in anything whatsoever. I’m just here to be punished by Mama. 

 

Simon

Who knows… Maybe you’ll actually learn something useful. 

 

Wille

Highly doubt it. Are you up yet?

 

Simon

Just had some cereal. Gonna get dressed in a sec. 

 

Wille

What are you going to wear? 

 

Simon

I don’t know. Clothes… Why?

 

Wille 

Because you look good in red, wear something red?

 

Simon 

I did that yesterday - remember - Can’t wear that again today

 

Wille

What are you going to wear then? 

 

Simon

Give me some time. Need a shower - Jesus, you’re so demanding when you’re moody, Wille.

 

Wille

I’m not moody, just bored shitless.

 

Simon

I’m wearing red now!

 

Wille

You are so stupid. But also - WHAT! That’s so hot, Simon. I can’t even!

 

Simon

Go concentrate on your important meeting. I have important things to do too, you know.

 

Wille

Are those important things perhaps gaming? 

 

Simon

Well, you’ll never know because you're at a meeting where you have to concentrate…

 

Wille

Shut up, Simon <3 

 

Simon

Love you too <3






Simon quickly looked up from his laptop before turning his attention back to his game. Wille plopped down on the bed, looking at Simon who was sitting at the desk gaming with Ayub and Rosh. 

 

“What do you want to do today?” Wille casually asked. 

 

“I don’t know, I have to finish this quest, okay?” Simon answered absentmindedly.

“Sure, okay,” Wille said and found his phone to pass the time while Simon was finishing his quest together with Ayub and Rosh.

 

The quest took a bit longer than he had first expected, but it was such an exciting gameplay they had right now, so he couldn’t just leave his two best friends to fend for themselves. They were in this together. 

 

“Almost there, Wille. Just a little more,” Simon said concentrating on the game. 

 

“Yeah, you said that last night, too,” Wille smartly remarked, looking at his boyfriend before turning his attention back to his phone. 

 

Simon threw a pen Wille's way, that luckily didn’t hit Wille, but it landed on the floor a decent amount of space away from Wille. 

 

“You have a really bad aim, Simon,” Wille laughed. 



“Just shut up. I’m trying to concentrate here,” Simon complained from his seat at the desk. 

Wille put away his phone and walked towards Simon. 

 

“So, I’m not allowed to do this?” Wille asked and placed a kiss behind Simon’s ear. Simon felt a shudder run through his body. 

 

“Or this?” He kissed Simon’s cheekbones, placing small feather light kisses all the way down to the side of his mouth.

 

“Wille!!!” Simon complained, trying really hard to concentrate on what he was doing. “Ayub and Rosh are making fun of us. They can hear everything through the mic.” 

 

“Well, then they would know that you should finish up so I can appreciate you properly for being here a whole week,” Wille just said without a care before moving to the other side of Simon to suck on his earlobe. 

 

“Oh, my fucking God! Why is this my life,” Simon cried, trying - but failing - to sound miserable. If anything he sounded a bit turned on. 

 

“Fucking finally!” Simon then exclaimed, turning around in the chair to look at Wille. “I have to go guys, I have urgent things to attend to here. Talk to you later!” And then he quickly turned back to his laptop, saving his game and closing the laptop. 

 

When Simon looked at Wille, the prince was smiling innocently at him. Simon tried to look unbothered at Wille, but that didn’t go too well. 

 

“Please just take your time, Simon. I’m not bothered,” Wille casually said. 

 

“That’s a lie, and you know it, Wille,” Simon said before pulling him down for a deep kiss. 

 

“Mmmm, it is a lie,” Wille moaned in between kisses. He pulled Simon up from the chair and maneuvered him over to the big bed that was standing in the middle of the room. He gently pushed Simon down onto the bed before crawling on top of him, kissing him fiercely.

 

“I’ve been thinking of you all day!” Wille whispered in a hoarse voice. 

 

“You’ve not even been away from me for 2 hours, Wille. That’s kind of creepy,” Simon teased Wille before kissing him again. Wille moaned into the kiss, pushing his hips against Simon’s. It made Simon go crazy, dragging his short nails against Wille’s back in an effort to steady himself. Wille moved his advances down Simon’s neck, down to his collarbone, sucking on it lightly. It earned him a high moan from Simon who was wiggling underneath Wille. He couldn’t stay still, it felt too good to stay still. 

 

“Wille, please,” Simon pleaded and Wille wasn’t slow to do exactly what Simon wanted him to do, stripping them both from their clothes and putting his mouth all over Simon. Simon loved every minute of Wille touching him, kissing him, marking him with small - and large - hickies in places only the two of them would see. And if Wille had to cover Simon’s mouth to muffle the sounds that came out from it, nobody but the two of them would know. 

 

But Simon was a good guy. He wasn’t just one for taking and pleasing his own wants. He made sure that Wille knew that he was loved just as much as Wille loved Simon. He, too, planted hickies all over Wille, marking him up for everybody to know that Wille was his–that they belonged together. 

 

No matter how much crap the press would write about them, they were in this together. Always together, never letting the other one stand alone. 

 

In the evening, after being told off by Wille’s mother for both of them sporting hickies, they lay in bed, scrolling through their phones, just keeping up with their socials and almost following a tv-show they had put on. 

 

“Can I have a picture of us like this?” Simon asked, looking at Wille. 

 

“Why?” Wille asked, puzzled. 

 

“I want to have one of us together, because I really haven't taken that many. And I need to brag about having the best boyfriend in the world to Rosh and Ayub because they are still giving me shit about this morning.”

 

“Sure, okay… Your friendship is so weird, you know that?” Wille said, placing a quick kiss on Simon before dropping down on the bed again. 

 

“Whatever,” Simon just replied and snapped a picture of his boyfriend.  

 

Simon

Guys, about this morning…

 

Rosh

Yeah?

 

Ayub

You want to apologize for leaving us to have sex

 

Rosh

Ayub behave

 

Simon

I didn’t leave you to have sex… well, not right away anyways.

 

Ayub

Go Simme! 

 

Simon

OMG! Stop it Ayub! I just wanted to let you know…

I totally still got the best boyfriend ever!!!

 

Rosh 

Shut up, Simon!

 

Ayub

Go away. Don’t remind us how lonely we are.

 

Rosh

Yo, I’m not lonely. Just picky!

 

Simon

Whatever you say, Rosh 

 

Friday 

 

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear, Wilhelm! Happy birthday to you!” Simon's voice was heard in Wille’s bedroom before Simon opted to kiss his not quite sleeping boyfriend to wake him up properly. 

 

Wille groaned in the most adorable way, slowly waking up to Simon’s soft voice. 

 

“Why are you calling me Wilhelm?” he asked sleepily.

 

“Because that’s your name,” Simon deadpanned. 

 

“You never call me that,” Wille complained, turning around to get a better angle for holding Simon. “Stop doing that. I don’t like it. It sounds wrong.” 

 

SImon kissed his boyfriend on the forehead. “Whatever you say, love. Did you sleep well?”

 

Wille nodded and pulled Simon into a kiss, ignoring his bad morning breath and whatnot. 

 

 

“OMG! It’s a mandrake poster! I love it, I love it, I love it, Simon! I Love you!” Wille sprung up from his chair and ran to the other side of the table to plant a kiss right in the middle of Simon’s mouth. Simon smiled, happy that Wille liked his present. They were having brunch together with Erik, the Queen and Ludvig before having some time alone to get ready for the guests that would arrive later that afternoon. 

 

“I’m glad you like it, Wille,” Simon shyly said before looking in the direction of the Queen who wasn’t looking very happy about their display of love. Kissing at the dining table was not something she approved of apparently. Perhaps it was the reason they had been seated on opposite sides of the table when they had arrived at brunch. 

 

“It’s amazing, like…Wow, I need to take it back with me to my room at Hillerska. This is so perfect, Simon,” Wille laughed overly excited about his gift. Simon just held him tighter in their embrace, kissing his cheek innocently, hoping the Queen wouldn’t have him murdered in his sleep for doing that. There was also the fact that both of them were showing clear signs of, well, hickies, and the Queen had very vocally told them off for that, so Simon had every reason to believe that she would in fact murder him some day in his sleep for ruining her youngest child. 

 

“Well, I don’t think we can top any gift now,” Erik dryly said even though he was smiling, bumping Simon in the side with his elbow. “This one fully embraces Wille’s nerdiness! Harry Potter and plants in the same present. Clever, Simon.”

 

“I just thought it would be something Wille would like,” Simon mumbled, embarrassed by all the attention that was on him. A light blush was spotting his cheeks and he suddenly felt hot in the otherwise cold castle. 

 

“It is! It really is, Simon,” Wille squealed. “I told you not to give me anything! How did you even hide this from me? Your suitcase looks like it has exploded by now. 

 

“I might have hid it for you,” Erik said, while smiling softly at the boys. 

 

“I bought it this Monday when I went out with Mama,” Simon Explained. “I had to DM Erik so he would hide it from you so you didn’t find it.” 

 

“You and Erik DM each other?” Wille wondered. 

 

“Not really, but I had to be friends with my future brother in law at Insta, didn’t I?” Erik teased them. 

 

Simon noticed that Wille’s cheeks were turning into a faint reddish blush. It looked adorable.

 

“I thought that we agreed on no personal social media, Erik,” The Queen said from the end of the table. 

 

“Mama, I have my personal Insta that I share with my close friends, and Simon, and you’re not going to change that,” Erik said bravely. 

 

“Wait! I want a personal Insta too!” Wille said, looking excited at his mother. 

 

“Absolutely not!” The Queen hissed, “You can’t even control your behavior in public, how would you be able to control it online?” 

 

Wille looked like he had just gotten a cold bucket of water in his head. Simon felt sorry for him, knowing how badly Wille just wanted to be like any other teenager, using social media like anybody else. 

 

“But it would be completely private, Mama,” Erik tried to soften their mother.

 

“Maybe it’s time to give Wilhelm some free-range, Kristina,” Ludvig of all people said. “He’s 17 now, almost an adult. He might as well make a profile after brunch without us knowing it,” he winked at Wille, who still stood beside Simon, stroking his back. 

 

“Very well,” the Queen sighed. “But don’t come and tell me when things blow up. I’m not cleaning up another mess that you make, Wilhelm. Now sit down like a normal person and let’s have a nice birthday brunch together!” 

 

“Yes, Mama,” Wille said in a low, but happy voice and hurried back to his seat so he could open the present from Erik and from his parents. 

 

Erik gave him a new pair of slippers, claiming his old ones were too smelly for Wille to still be using. Erik had also packed a pair of socks for him because apparently Wille was no longer allowed to go barefoot in his new slippers. It would cause too much sweat and make the new pair smell just as terrible as the ones he was wearing now. 

 

The Queen and Prince Consort gave Wille a book about Nelson Mandela together with the newest MacBook Pro. Wille liked the gifts but nothing topped the gift Simon had given him and they all knew that. Simon’s gift had been the only one that had been personal on a level that showed that Simon actually knew the person he was buying a gift for. 

 

After brunch, which had not been pleasant by any means, Wille and Simon hid away in their - Wille’s - room. Wille was so excited to make his private Insta account, which Simon found endearing and it didn’t take them long to create and set up the new account. Wille instantly added Simon, Felice, Erik and Tindra. 

 

“You don’t want to add Henry and Walter?” Simon asked. 

 

“No, it’s just like,” Wille tried to explain. “It’s just so wow. Me having a private account! I just don’t want to fuck this up like anything else I try.” 

 

“Hey, none of that, Wille,” Simon quickly said before draping his arms around Wille. “You’re not ruining everything. For me, you make everything better!” He kissed the prince before encouraging him to make his first post. They could do that now.

ThatWOne I have the most amazing, loving boyfriend one could ever ask for! Best birthday gift ever! Thank you so much, Simon <3

 

FeliceE That’s so sweet. Happy birthday W! <3

 

SecretE Happy birthday little brother. Why wasn’t my gift the best?!

 

TindraS Love your name W! And happy birthday. I hope that you have a lovely day. 

 

SimonEriksson You are the best boyfriend ever! Love you <3 And also happy birthday, love.

Notes:

On a further note:
Mental health is something that we all need to nurture and treasure. I myself have been struggling with mental health throughout my teens and young adult years and I know how important it is to say: “Enough is enough - I need a break or some help.” Treasure each other and be kind to others <3
You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 20: Chapter Twenty

Summary:

Wille stood up and walked over to Simon, placing a loving kiss on his curls. “I know, but I really wanted to give you a good first time.”

Simon smiled at him, “What else do you expect us to do then?” He asked cheekily.

“OMG, Not like that!” Wille’s eyes went wide in horror when he noticed what he had said. “Not like that, Simon. A good first time here in the spa, not like us together. Unless… Do you want that? Are we doing that? OMG, what am I saying? That should be a good experience too and I’m just going to shut up now,” Wille deflated and sat down on his chair again

Notes:

Happy Tuesday everybody <3
So, I use pictures in this fic, but Simon is supposed to have that long hair that we all loved Omar had a some years back before YR. Therefore I suck at finding pictures of Edvin and Omar together while Omar had long hair, which is meeeehhhhh. So, you just have to use your imagination and make up Simon’s long hair in the pictures of them together I guess…
You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter Twenty 

 

Simon had no idea how he had ended up where he was now—in a car on his way to the most expensive, luxurious spa hotel in Stockholm.  

 

Wille's birthday had been a chaotic mess with lots of people Wille didn’t quite know or recognize, and Simon definitely didn’t know most of them either. Except one guest - August - his dearest sister's boyfriend. That was great; just the person they didn’t want to spend time with that day. 

 

Wille and Simon had deliberately tried to avoid Wille's cousin the entire evening, leaving Erik to entertain the tall count of Årnäs, but luckily Erik just found it funny that the boyfriends were trying to escape August's rants about class and whatnot. Both Simon and Wille loathed the way August talked and thought about almost everybody else in Sweden, but Erik didn’t have a problem with their cousin in the same way as Wille so he let the teens be and instead hung out with August and caught up with him without them. 

 

The thing about Simon attending the birthday party was that he kind of scared everybody away from Wille, which Wille actually thanked him for. Simon knew that Wille hated social gatherings like this one. He knew that he could easily put on a royal facade and charm his way through the evening, exchanging pleasantries with all the guests like he was taught from an early age, but the the downside was that Wille would be utterly drained from energy afterwards and would probably feel lost, lonely, and loathing himself. Simon didn’t want that for Wille on his birthday. He thought it should be a good day.

 

Wille had no intention of going into his own party to mingle with the guests more than what was expected of him; he had told Simon that the same afternoon. Therefore he was delighted when he found out that staying close to Simon meant that people kept their distance. It was like the guests didn’t know what to make of Simon. Him being there, standing proudly beside Wille, was so out of the norm and something they hadn't experienced before. It was not protocol to invite your teenage boyfriend to your very royal birthday dinner and therefore nobody knew how to act with Simon there. Nobody knew if they were supposed to talk to him or not, so they just left him and Wille alone, sending them curious looks instead.

 

“I'm glad that I'm useful today,” Simon mumbled under his breath, looking up at Wille unimpressed when Wille had thanked him for him being there to keep people away from them.  

 

Wille only kissed Simon as a response and smiled at him like nothing was wrong with that. And if Wille had just been a normal boy having a normal birthday party together with his family, nothing would have been wrong with that kiss, but it just happened to be that Wille was very much not a normal teenager. He was not expected to show physical affection towards Simon when there were others around. Wille knew that. Simon knew that. Simon saw that the Queen was watching them, sending them discreet side-eyes, and her eyes only grew when Wille kissed Simon in a room filled with important guests. He felt the heat creep into his face, panicking slightly about how mad the Queen would be if Wille continued like this through the whole dinner. 

 

“Are you trying to get me killed, Wille?” Simon hissed. “Your mom is watching our every move and I would very much like to stay alive! You can't just kiss me like that here.”

 

“She can't do anything, Simon,” Wille told him, looking in the direction of the Queen, meeting her eyes. “This is a private gathering. I'm allowed to kiss my boyfriend as much as I like and she knows that, so I'm going to kiss you and wrap myself around you all night, love.” 

 

Simon looked at him a bit worried. If it was about Wille being this straightforward or about his own safety he didn’t know. 

 

“That is, if you're okay with that,” Wille quickly added. “I'm not going to do anything you don't like.”

 

“It’s just,” Simon tried to explain herself, turning around so they could see each other and kind of hug each other. “I'm not that comfortable with this. There are so many people here that I don’t know and it just feels odd for me just being here. I’m so out of place, Wille, and I'm so afraid of doing something wrong or embarrassing you,” Simon admitted. 

 

Wille looked disappointed but gave a short nod as acknowledgement before he took Simon’s hand in his. 

 

“This okay?” the prince lovingly asked. 

 

Simon sent a smile towards Wille. “This is always okay, love.” Then Simon placed a little kiss on their joined hands before they turned their attention back to the party and the many guests who hadn’t been following their exchanges very discreetly. 

 

Now though, they were sitting in a dark car, hands collapsed together, ready for a weekend at a spa hotel. Simon had no idea what to expect. He didn’t know how much privacy they would get or if they even were able to use the facilities at the place like any regular guests. 

They were going to stay at the Grand Hôtel Stockholm. Simon knew that much, but he didn’t know anything about the stay or what Wille had planned for them that weekend. 

 

When they arrived in front of the hotel a valet collected their luggage and they were guided towards the check-in area where the staff were already waiting for them - together with a small, exclusive group of press. Simon stopped abruptly and looked confused between Wille and the cameras.  

 

“Sorry, Simon. The hotel insisted that they wanted some photos for the press for me to be able to rent this place with short notice,” Wille hurriedly whispered to Simon when they were walking towards the photo area. 

 

“Okay, a little heads-up would have been nice, though” Simon whispered back while smiling shyly at all the cameras. 

 

“I thought you would cancel our weekend if you knew. Sorry, love” Wille whispered into Simon’s ear as they stood and politely smiled at all the people surrounding them. 

 

Pictures were being taken of the both of them before they were led towards their suite on the upper floor. The manager that showed them the way seemed nervous and was talking way too much for Simon’s liking. Simon couldn't figure out if the manager was nervous because Wille was there, or because they were there as a couple, or something else completely.

 

When the door was opened to their suite, Simon’s mouth dropped. The suite was huge! It was gorgeous! It was so, so pretty! 

 

“This is too much, Wille,” Simon said breathlessly while walking into their suite forgetting all about the nervous manager who kept standing awkwardly in the hallway. 

 

The suitcases were already neatly placed in the entrance hall, which led into a beautiful seating area. The walls were a dusty, light green and all the furniture and curtains were kept in a beige tone. There were fresh flowers in vases all over the place and it smelled clean. It wasn’t like the overused hotel rooms Simon was used to from the times he had been on vacation with his family. He gasped as he felt a pair of arms wrapping around him from behind but quickly collected himself, leaning into the embrace, placing his own hands on top of Wille’s. 

 

“It’s not too much. Nothing is too much for you, Simon,” Wille whispered into Simon’s ear before kissing him softly behind it. “Let’s see the rest of the place” he suggested and then turned around to close the door, sending a short nod to the manager in thanks. Then they were alone. 

 

They walked towards the french doors that led into the bedroom, which was kept in the same color scale. The bed took up most of the room. The bed was huge; it was filled with at least 10 pillows and a throw blanket neatly placed on top of it. Simon was at a loss of words; he had never been surrounded by this kind of luxury before. That was if he didn’t count the times he had been at Drottningholm, which was also very much over the top but in a much more cold and impersonal way that didn’t speak to Simon like this suite did.

 

“You like it?” Wille carefully asked, looking expectedly at Simon. 

 

“It’s amazing, Wille,” Simon said. “It’s like… I can’t even comprehend it. My brain has stopped working.”

 

Simon walked towards a big white door that led to the bathroom, which was equally beautiful, but styled in a much more modern way. The walls looked like a darkish gray marble blend and the sinks were built in high polished black rock. There was a huge bathtub adjacent from the door and an even bigger showe,r which had a stained glass door to offer privacy from potential people standing by the sink. 

 

“Wow,” was all Simon could say. He didn’t know what more to say. 

 

Wille stood beside Simon smiling like a maniac. 

 

“Thank you for making this the best birthday I’ve ever had, Simon,” Wille then said before wrapping Simon in a warm hug. Simon placed his arms around Wille’s torso welcoming the hug eagerly. 

 

“You’re welcome, love. But I didn’t do much, you know,” he giggled into Wille’s shoulder. 

 

“You were here, with me. That’s all I ever needed, Simon!” Wille exhaled, holding Simon just a tiny bit tighter. 

 

A bit later when they unpacked - apparently Wille unpacked all of his clothing, being used to hanging everything on hangers instead of leaving his clothes in a suitcase - they decided to try the bathing facilities in their bathroom. Feeling happy, content, and carefree from their week together they helped each other undress while placing soft kisses on each other, but never kissing the other one’s lips. It turned into a game of sorts, trying to avoid the other’s attempts to place a kiss on their lips, avoiding each other while trying to undress in between giggles and hugs. 

 

When they were fully undressed, Simon stopped and just looked at Wille. He was so pretty: pale from all the dark winter months, scattered in beauty spots, blond hair hanging slightly down and covering his one eye, eyes so brown and magical that he could get lost in them. 

Tentatively, as if he would scare his boyfriend away if he moved too fast, Simon moved his hands towards Wille cheek, caressing it softly, feeling Wille move his head towards Simon’s hand slightly. Simon stepped closer to him, their chests almost touching, but not quite. 

 

“So beautiful,” Simon whispered before capturing Wille’s lips with his. As soon as they met, Wille placed his hands on Simon’s hips dragging him closer to himself, before letting his hands caress Simon’s back and arse.

 

They just stood there, kissing each other, feeling each other, learning even more about the other one while the bathtub was filling up with water and the bathroom became more damp every minute.

 

“I love you so much, Simon,” Wille was able to say between kisses and caresses. 

 

“Love you too, Wille,” Simon answered before breaking away from the prince to lead him into the bathtub. He moved slowly and with measured movements so they didn’t fall or crash into the soapy sides of the bathtub, and it only added to the feeling of intimacy that had already been built between them.

 

The water was warm, but not scolding, soap had been turned into bubbles and the room was damp and moist from all the hot water filling the bathtub. Simon sat down in the water, guiding Wille with him slowly, so that he could wrap his arms and legs around Wille’s body. Once seated, Wille let his head fall back onto Simon’s chest before closing his eyes. 

 

“Mmm, this feels so nice,” he mumbled, probably tired from the hectic day filled with attention towards him that he didn’t want in the first place. Simon could only imagine how much a day like this would tear at Wille, not to speak of the entire week they’d had, which had been filled with ups and downs and so many people for Wille to be around that he wasn’t used to. 

 

“It does,” Simon agreed before starting to rub his hands up and down Wille’s chest in small, slow, soothing motions. He hoped that the gesture would offer Wille some sort of relief.  

 

“What do you want to do for your birthday?” Wille suddenly asked into the damp air. 

 

“Well, it’s on our national day so I probably have to sing with the choir in school or something like that,” Simon informed, letting his hands trace Wille’s arms. 

 

“But what do YOU want to do?” Wille pushed. “After classes?” 

 

“I don’t know. Probably the usual,” Simon answered. “Have dinner together with Sara, Mama, Rosh and Ayub…and you?” The latter was asked as a question to Wille, Simon not being sure that Wille would be able or allowed to come to his house on a normal school day.

 

“Of course I’m going to be there, Simon. Why wouldn’t I?” Wille wondered before capturing Simon’s hands in his and crossing them across his torso. 

 

They sat for a while in silence, just enjoying each other’s company and closeness, not having the urge to ruin this moment nor feeling the need to say anything to each other. Not by words at least because sometimes actions spoke louder than words. The silence felt nice, like it freed them from the last week of reprimands and constant corrections. Simon could feel how his muscles were loosening up from the hot water and the relaxed atmosphere they had created in their closeness. But there was still the knot in his stomach that kept growing more intense. 

 

“Wille,” Simon slowly said. 

 

“Mmm,” was Wille’s reply.

 

“I have to tell you something. And I..” he trailed off, but he wasn’t interrupted by Wille so he gathered all his courage and continued to speak. “This Monday, Mama and I didn't just go shopping. We had a meeting. A umm, meeting with a record label,” he faltered, waiting for Wille’s reaction but none came. Wille sat perfectly still and didn’t make a sound. 

 

“I didn’t know how to tell you because you tried to break up with me because of what I want to do… you know, the music thing and umm… Ayub and I had sent in some singles to some labels and this one wants to record a single with me. Mama and I got the paperwork to take home with us and everything. W just need a lawyer to go through the papers before we sign them,” Simon finished. 

 

The room went silent, and Simon might have thought that Wille had fallen asleep if it wasn’t for the tightness Simon felt in Wille’s arms. 

 

“Wille, please,” Simon begged his boyfriend. “Say something.” 

 

“That’s great for you, Simon,” was all Wille said, not sounding happy at all. 

 

“Wille,” Simon sighed. “Please. Tell me what you’re thinking, love. It’s just me. You can tell me.” 

 

“I just, I am happy for you, Simon. I am, but…” Wille let his hand drift through his hair. “I’m scared, I think, and maybe a bit hurt that you didn’t tell me. This is huge, Simon! Not just for you but for us, too. I still believe in what I said back then, that I’m not sure we can be us if you're an artist. Not because I don’t want to be with you, Simon. I’ll always want to be with you, but…. I have no idea if that would be allowed for me in my position,” Wille replied. 

 

Simon let his head rest on Wille’s shoulder, praying he couldn’t feel the tears that had started to form in the corner of his eyes. He knew this was how Wille would react and feel, but he wasn’t ready for it. Not yet at least. 

 

“I’m sorry, Wille,” Simon whispered. “I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t just leave everything I ever wanted to do in the drain because your mother wouldn’t approve of it. I have this chance now to get a foot inside the door in this industry. It’s what I want, Wille. And… I know that it’s scary, but we’ll stay together. We’ll go against your mother and show her that we can do this okay? That we can be together.”

 

Wille let out a deep breath before relaxing his muscles again. “That’s a pretty risky thing to do, going against my mother,” Wille said tiredly. “But I’ll do it for you. I’ll do anything for you, Simon. You’re my home.” 

 

 

The next day they ate their breakfast in silence, the mood somewhat dampened by Simon’s revelation last night. Luckily for them, Wille had arranged for their food to be brought to their room so they didn’t have to sit in the restaurant like the rest of the guests and deal with looks sent their way. 

 

They had spent the evening talking…really talking about how a possible record deal would affect their relationship given Wille’s position. It hadn’t been easy for either of them to keep calm throughout their talk and Wille’s anxiety had at one point been sky-high. But in the end, they had come to an agreement. If everything looked okay with the paperwork, Simon would sign it and release his single - and hopefully go on recording and releasing an album too. They wouldn’t say anything to the court about this, just keep it to themselves for as long as they could, and when the time came where everybody would know that Simon had released a single they would stand by each other's sides to protect one another, defend one another and offer some probably much-needed comfort. That was what they had come up with because ending their relationship just seemed even more impossible now that they had grown to love each other so much. They were a unit by now so parting their separate ways was not an option for them. They both agreed on that.

 

“What are the plans for today?” Simon carefully asked. 

 

“I’ve booked us a couple massages at 10.30 and then we’ll have some time to rinse off and just relax at the spa lounge before we’re getting facials and then a late lunch to avoid too many people. After lunch, I thought we could take a walk or something before we have an appointment for body wraps and then in the evening we’ll dine at the restaurant and go watch the entertainment afterwards,” Wille answered easily, having memorized their schedule in his head. 

 

“That sounds like a lot,” Simon said surprised. “Isn’t this, like, crazy expensive?” 

 

Wille looked sheepishly at Simon but didn’t answer him right away. 

 

“Wille…” Simon begged. 

 

“It was somewhat expensive but I paid for it myself,” Wille hurriedly said. “Remember what I told you about apanage and all that.”

 

“It’s just a lot, I guess,” Simon mumbled, feeling put on the spot for not being used to this kind of luxury. 

 

Wille stood up and walked over to Simon, placing a loving kiss on his curls. “I know, but I really wanted to give you a good first time.”

 

Simon smiled at him, “What else do you expect us to do then?” He asked cheekily. 

 

“OMG, Not like that!” Wille’s eyes went wide in horror when he noticed what he had said. “Not like that, Simon. A good first time here in the spa, not like us together. Unless… Do you want that? Are we doing that? OMG, what am I saying? That should be a good experience too and I’m just going to shut up now,” Wille deflated and sat down on his chair again. 

 

Simon laughed full-heartedly at Wille, which made Wille blush from his seat across from Simon. 

 

“You are too adorable when you ramble, Wille,” Simon smiled at him. “I don’t know if we’re ready for that, but umm, look in my suitcase, in the little pocket inside.” 

 

Wille raised an eyebrow at Simon before heading into the bedroom to look for whatever Simon had hidden in the pocket. Simon just continued to eat his breakfast and sip his coffee. That was until a very new bottle of lube landed in his scrambled eggs together with a box of condoms. 

 

“WTF, Wille,” Simon spluttered, trying but not succeeding to not spill his coffee. “I was eating that!” 

 

“Why did you pack that? And have you taken them from my bedroom drawer at the palace?” Wille asked with a smile on his face. 

 

“I thought that we might need them, you know. Better safe than sorry. And yes, those are bought by your staff and taken from your bedroom drawer. No worries,” Simon answered Wille while trying to save some of his eggs. 

 

“And you didn’t think of asking me whether we would use that or not? Or if it was alright to look in my drawers?” Wille asked, puzzled.

 

“Hey!” Simon exclaimed, standing up. “I spent a lot of time alone in your room last week. I got bored and thought, why not see what that drawer hides. And then I thought that you wouldn’t think of bringing this back to Hillerska so I had to do it.” 

 

“Back to Hillerska?” Wille was confused now. 

 

“Yes, Wille. OMG, did you really think that we would wait so long before doing anything more? Before needing this?” Simon deadpanned. 

 

“I don’t know, Simon. I’ve never dated before!” Wille squealed in a panicked voice. “I don’t know when the right time comes and umm.. I didn’t think it would come anytime soon. I mean… Everything we’ve been doing so far has been amazing so maybe we don’t need more, you know?” 

 

Simon walked over to Wille and hugged him. “Ohh, my dear, Wille,” He sighed into him. “It has been; it really has, but it’s not enough. At least not for me. I mean… What about you?” 

 

“Ohh umm, I mean. Anything you want, Simon,” Wille mumbled.

 

“Shh, none of that, Wille,” Simon said. “How do you feel about us doing more soon?” 

 

“I umm, I feel like I want that to, with you,” Wille whispered into Simon’s curls. “I umm, would very much like you to touch me everywhere, you know? Like, sometimes when I’m alone, I’m imagining that I can feel you everywhere too, inside and out and…” 

 

Wille stopped talking, probably too embarrassed to continue and Simon just nodded, knowing exactly what Wille meant. He wanted that too, had thought about that too when getting himself off during nights when he was alone. He loosened his grip around Wille and looked up at him. 

 

“We should probably get dressed and stuff. The first appointment is at 10.30 you say?” Simon asked. Wille nodded. “Then we’ll have 30 minutes to get ready to get there. Do you mind cleaning up your mess?” Simon asked and pointed towards his plate with what was left of his scrambled eggs, the bottle of lube, and the pack of condoms. Wille glared at him but did what he was told before starting to get ready himself.  

 

ThatWOne Loving the spa life

 

SimonEriksson You look stupid. Remind me why we are doing this?

 

FeliceE Awww, take me with you next time!

 

Wille was loving their day in the spa, but Simon wasn’t totally sold on the concept. The massage they had was nice enough, but he didn’t like the thought of a stranger's hand touching him all over his body. The spa lounge had been luxurious and semi-private which was good, but walking around in white bathrobes, slippers, and bathing shorts was not really Simon’s thing. Let alone the fact that their lunch had been served in the lounge area so they had to eat in a bathrobe. Before their lunch they had gotten their facials, something Wille was very excited about too, but Simon had just felt trapped in the face mask that was put on him by a stranger's hands. 

 

When they had had lunch people had been nice enough to not stare too much, but they couldn't avoid looks from the other guests at the hotel and that bugged Simon a bit, too. Why couldn’t they just eat in their room? It had a table and chairs and everything.

After lunch they were let into a private room where they had gotten their body wraps. The wraps were another thing that made Simon feel trapped at first, but he had to admit that the privacy of the room and the fact that the staff left them alone once they were all wrapped up was nice. Here they could actually talk without being afraid of someone hearing something that was not supposed to be heard by others. 

 

 “Felice wants to go with us next time,” Wille casually said while they were lying with their body wraps. 

 

“Ohh, next time?” Simon asked. 

 

“Yeah, she wrote that. Don’t you like it? I find it so relaxing,” Wille answered Simon.

 

“It’s okay, but I think that I have to get used to this kind of thing. I’m not really into people touching me and stuff,” Simon tried to explain. 

 

“You let me touch you all the time, Simon,” Wille just snorted. “Guess I’m the lucky one who gets to feel your beautiful skin!” 

 

“Sap,” Simon smiled at Wille. “Maybe you and Felice should do a spa day if you like it that much?” 

 

“Don’t you want to come with us?” Wille asked, sounding hurt. 

 

“I love spending time with you, Wille,” Simon began. “But we are always together. Like, even when we are together with friends we are together, and Sara said this thing to me before I left last Friday. Something about us being codependent on each other and stuff.” 

 

“Ohh,” Wille just said, thinking for a while. “I never thought about that. I just want to spend time with you, but I guess she’s right in some way.” 

 

“Exactly what I thought, too,” Simon agreed.

 

“So, I’ll ask Felice to join me another time while you go do awesome music things and become famous and recognised for your talent!” Wille laughed. 

 

“Shut up, Wille. It’s not even a sure thing that that single will be anything that takes off,” Simon mumbled a bit embarrassed. 

 

“Are you kidding me?” Wille asked, surprised. “If you are going to do this and I have to spite my mother, you’ll have to do it properly. Not just halfheartedly, Simon!” 

 

“I’m not doing it halfheartedly, Wilhelm,” Simon mugged the prince. “I’ll work my ass off to succeed with that single, but that’s not alway enough to guarantee a successful career. I mean. What if I only get like, one big hit and that’s it?”

 

“You won't,” Wille just said smiling confidently at Simon. “And stop calling me Wilhelm. That’s something my parents do.” 

 

“And therefore I can’t call you by your name?” Simon joked. 

 

“No! It’s just too weird, Simon,” Wille answered, blankly. 

 

“Whatever you say, Wilhelm,” Simon laughed. 

 

“Ohh, fuck you, Simon,” Wilhelm laughed just as the staff returned to their room to remove the wraps. They looked sheepishly at them like they were interrupting something they shouldn’t, as if it was such a rarity that Wille would actually swear. Like they didn’t take into consideration that he was a prince but also a 17-year-old boy/man? 



The night between Saturday and Sunday was spent in bed exploring each other in ways they hadn’t done before. They’d had dinner at the restaurant together with other guests, which therefore wasn’t quite private. But nonetheless the dinner had been lovely. They had joked and talked and made fun of each other just like they would when texting. After the dinner they had walked into the entertainment hall where the evening entertainment would be. They’d found a secluded table for two in the very back of the room where they could hide from curious looks and phones snapping pictures of them. The show was okay. There had been dancing, singing, not as good as Simon’s singing Wille had mentioned with a soft smile, and some kind of acro performance. It had been lovely and it was a nice time to spend their evening instead of just watching some tv shows or a movie. This would be their last night away from Hillerska and the constant feeling of being watched by others and they intended to enjoy it fully. 

 

Linda had been very excited about Simon being home for the second Easter day which was also a day off for her. She wanted to spend just a little time together with her son before school started again. Therefore they had agreed to drive back to Hillerska Sunday afternoon, drop off Wille’s stuff before taking the bus to Simon’s house to eat dinner with Linda and possibly Sara too. Then they would have Monday together with Linda before school started and they were thrown into the exam period. Simon was very nervous about having missed half of the year at Hillerska and therefore also half of the syllabus. 

 

After the show, the boys had finished their drinks - cokes - and giggled as they stumbled to their suite, before crashing in the bed. If Simon had thought that being touched by Wille was the most wonderful thing in the world, it was nothing compared to being allowed to touch his boyfriend in any way he possibly could imagine. 

 

It had all started quite innocently - if sex could ever be that - with the two of them just doing what they used to do, touching, licking, sucking, until Wille had changed it all. 

Simon was going down on him, mapping out an invisible pattern across his entire body, placing small hickies in places only he would get to see up close. He had wrapped his one hand around Wille’s cock, giving it the attention it needed, while kissing his body up and down. 

 

Wille moaned lowly, as he always did, wiggled around under Simon and was absolutely done when Simon was surprised by Wille’s low panting, “More, Simon. Please. I need more.” 

Simon stopped what he was doing and looked up at Wille who opened his eyes when the caresses stopped. 

 

“What do you need, love?” Simon asked almost in a whisper. Wille looked at him in pure honesty and let his hand slide through Simon’s hair. 

 

“I want you, Simon,” He looked Simon in the eyes, holding his gaze while adding, “I want to feel you inside me.” 

 

Simon almost choked on air. He hadn’t been ready for Wille to be the first one between them to ask for this. 

 

“Are, are you sure?” Simon stuttered, suddenly feeling extra hot all over his body. Wille nodded and pulled Simon down into a sloppy kiss. 

 

“I’m more than sure, Simon,” he said for good measure. “I want you in any way I’ll be able to have you. I’m sure.” 

 

“Okay,” Simon said before crawling off Wille and the bed to go the short distance to his suitcase to find the bottle of lube and the pack of condoms. Just to be sure he also grabbed a towel from the bathroom to place under Wille. When he returned back to the bed, he crawled up to sit on top of Wille once again. 

 

“Okay, so umm, How do you want to do this?” Simon hesitantly asked. 

 

“So, umm. Maybe like this? So that we can see each other?” Wille asked hesitantly. 

 

“Okay,” Simon breathed before diving into a kiss. “Lift your hips a bit, love. I’m just going to…” he moved around with the towel in one of his hands so Wille would get an idea of what he meant and when Wille lifted his hips, Simon scooted the soft towel underneath him. 

 

They took their time, checking on each other, pausing, continuing, kissing, caressing, whispering soft praises to each other. Simon was mesmerized by the way Wille’s face was so honest and sincere. He felt like he could see every emotion radiate from Wille’s face in those moments. He himself could feel how much Wille enjoyed Simon once he had gotten over the slight pain there had been when Simon’s first finger was entering him for the very first time. Simon could feel how certain things he did made Wille absolutely insane and how other things were something that he shouldn’t do again. It was like getting to know his boyfriend on a whole new level, like they were committing to each other in a much deeper way than they had before. Simon loved it; he loved to watch his boyfriend come undone underneath him, and he loved that he knew that he was the one who could get Wille to fly over the edge like that.

 

“Mama, estamos en casa!” Simon yelled when he unlocked the door for him and Wille to the Eriksson house. 

 

“Simon! ¿Eres tú?” Linda's voice was heard from the bathroom. 

 

“Sí, Wille y yo” Simon yelled back to her while putting down his bags and taking off his jacket. Wille mirrored Simon before leaning into him, whispering in his ear, “You should speak Spanish more often. It’s hot!”

 

Simon swatted Wille on his arm smiling mischievous at him. 

 

“Shut up, Wille. Mama is right there!” Simon pointed in the direction of the bathroom where Linda emerged holding different cleaning articles. There was no mistaking that she had been cleaning before they came home. She walked over to Simon and gave him a one-armed hug before doing the same to Wille.

 

“Did you have a good week?” she asked, smiling at them. 

 

“Yeah, it was great, Mama,” Simon smiled back at her, taking Wille’s hand in his. “Thanks for letting me go.”

 

“Well, I don’t know if I should let you go another time, though,” She said to him, raising one of her eyebrows. 

 

“What do you mean?” Wille asked, confused, pulling Simon closer to him. 

 

“Well, carinos. If I am to believe what I’ve read, you guys have been broken up since last weekend, only to show up at the most luxurious hotel in Stockholm to have, and I quote, a “wild weekend of carefree lovemaking,” Linda said before laughing slightly at the boys’ puzzled looks. 

 

“There’s an article in that magazine on the coffee table,” she said and then proceeded to walk away to put up the cleaning products. 

 

“WTF!” Simon exclaimed, marching into the living room to find said magazine. Wille was right behind him, still holding his hand. 

 

Has our little prince gone feral after turning 17?

 

This Friday Prince Wilhelm turned 17 years old. His birthday was celebrated together with family, but soon after the festivities he must have left because he was spotted all weekend at the luxurious spa resort Grand Hôtel Stockholm together with his ex-boyfriend, Simon. 

It was reported earlier this week that the prince and the local boy from Bjärstad, who also attends Hillerska just like Prince Wilhelm, had ended their much-discussed relationship. Yet here they were spotted cozying up to each other having what seemed to be a romantic weekend.

 

This leads us to believe that the prince is not done with his Latino lover, but much rather would prefer a casual relationship together with his ex filled with carefree lovemaking, as eyewitnesses have described their interactions. 

 

The two boys were posing for pictures when checking into the hotel together Friday evening, though.

 

How the prince will turn out only time will tell, but this can certainly be seen as a wild, carefree move from the young prince's side. That put together with his angry outburst earlier this week makes us worried for the little prince's wellbeing. 

 

Wille and Simon read the article multiple times, trying to figure out how the journalist could write stuff like this with so little truth to it. Apparently the story about Simon and Wille splitting up last weekend had gone somewhat viral causing the internet to blow up with theories and made-up stories about the boys. They had spent most of the evening scrolling through multiple gossip sites reading story after story about themselves. It was probably not a healthy thing to do, but considering that they did it so rarely they decided that it was okay to dive into the gossip this time. 

 

They were seated close together on the sofa in the living room looking at Simon’s phone. Wille was placed between Simon’s legs, his hands caressing Simon’s lower legs softly, head leaning against Simon’s chest. Simon held the phone in one hand, and draped the other arm around Wille with his head leaned slightly to the side to get a better look at the screen. 

 

“Well you look cozy,” Sara’s voice was heard from the other end of the room. 

 

“Hey, Sara,” Simon greeted her without looking away from the phone or moving at all. 

 

“I guess you didn’t break up last weekend after all,” Sara continued.

 

“No,” Simon just said, holding his boyfriend a little tighter. The thought of losing Wille now, after what they had shared together, hurt too much for him to think about. 

 

Sara dropped down in an armchair beside the sofa, reaching for the remote to turn on the tv.

“What did you do other than go to a spa?” she asked nonchalantly. 

 

“Didn’t August fill you in?” Wille asked carefully.

 

“No, we haven't talked that much this last week. We’ve both been busy.”

 

“Ohh, okay,” Wille said. “Well. I’ve been working until my parents got too embarrassed of me and forbade me to do any more public events.” 

 

“Sounds like a lovely week off school, huh,” Sara answered, before turning her attention to the tv. 

 

Wille just hummed in reply before turning his attention back to Simon’s phone. 

Notes:

After the next chapter, chapter 21, we will move into phase 2 of this fic, which is something I look forward too. Our lovely boys will be older and maybe a bit wiser (but who knows?) and so much good stuff is going to happened!
This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.
You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 21: Chapter 21

Summary:

Simon
Wille, I didn’t mean it like that. i just thought it would be good to see other people

Wille
What?!

Simon
Shit no, I mean, be together with friends without us being together all the time.

Wille
My only friends are your friends too, Simon. You’re the only one of the two of us who has his own friends…

Simon
Wille…

Wille
Yeah, I don’t know, Simon. I’m just so fucking hurt all the time. Erik says I’m being too dramatic, but I can’t help feeling the way I feel.

Simon
Have you talked to Erik about us? And yes, of course you have the right to feel as you feel. That’s something Boris is always telling me.

Wille
Hmm, he says that to me too. And yes, I’ve talked to Erik. Didn’t know who else I was supposed to talk to.

Simon
Ohh, okay. That’s fair.

Wille
He asked if I still loved you

Simon
What did you answer? 

Notes:

Happy Monday everybody <3
Find your tissues and comfort food because this is going to be… Something 😊

This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Going back to school Tuesday after Easter was strange. It had been strange enough for Simon not to fall asleep with Wille by his side, or rather draped over him, but waking up without Wille was even worse. 

 

The day had been kind of normal, only interrupted by their friends asking what had happened between them in the last week since the tabloids had written so much about them. It had been Wille who had answered their group of friends saying that he and Simon were better than ever and that they shouldn’t believe everything they read in the tabloids. And that was it. No more questions about that from their friends. 

 

The teachers were going nuts this time of year preparing for the exams in June. They buried their students in last minute projects and assignments making every single student hate school.  The only time throughout the school day Simon felt like he could breathe and somewhat enjoy himself was when he had choir. 

 

They were rehearsing for the 6th of June, vasa day, where they would sing in the church before they got out of school to prepare for the exams the following 3 weeks. Simon had a solo, but his heart wasn’t totally in it, thoughts always drifting towards his upcoming recording sessions that summer. 

 

His contract had been sorted out through April and when they entered May everything was planned out for him. He would spend his summer vacation in Stockholm, writing and improving the song he had sent to the label before he finally got to record it. It would be released in the fall, and he was obsessed with the thought of every single thing in the process leading up to his release of the single.  

 

There would be a photo shoot, too which would provide pictures for PR and his official social media channels that he now was setting up. He was required to have an official Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and TikTok, which kind of scared Simon knowing how people would use everything he posted in both good and bad ways. 

 

Wille had not been happy about Simon getting all of these new pages, but it was not up for discussion with the record label nor Simon, so it had to be that way. This had resulted in a huge fight between the two boys where neither of them would see the issue from the other side. It took place on a Thursday at the end of May. 

 

Simon and Wille had walked together by the lake at the school to catch a private moment together when Simon had told Wille about this condition in the contract. 

 

"You have to be kidding me!" Wille exclaimed and stopped walking.

 

"No, it only makes sense, Wille," Simon had tried to explain. He stopped too, turning around so he could look at Wille. 

 

"I have to promote my music! This needs to go well for the both of us. Imagine if my single becomes a flop. What would everybody say?" 

 

"But don’t you remember how everybody used your posts and pictures when we were outed? Before your profile was private?" Wille asked, voice thick with angst.

 

"I remember," Simon tried to stay calm. "But this is different, Wille. This would be professional and controlled, just like your official pages. I don't see the difference here." 

 

"The difference is," Wille started moving his hands to slide them through his hair. Something he did when he was stressed. "You, you're with me and everything you do would reflect back to me and my family. Everything you do now is reflected back to us, just think how it would be if you got official pages and posted stuff that is not approved by the court." 

 

"Wille, the court should not have to approve what I post or don’t," Simon exclaimed loudly, feeling his annoyance at Wille and his stuck up family grow. 

 

"But they need to. Don’t you understand that?!" Wille now yelled at Simon. 

 

"No, I really don't understand it, Wille. Nobody but me or the label that would represent me should have a say in what and how my official pages should be presented. They are made to promote me and my career! Not to promote the Royal Family!" Simon yelled back at Wille.

 

"That’s not good enough, Simon! You must understand that nobody within court will be supportive of this, right? Of you making music. Why make it worse with having these pages?” Wille raged. 

 

Simon looked at him, feeling rejected and misunderstood by the person he loved most in the whole world. By the person he thought was on his side no matter what. By the person he had thought would always fight for him, them, just like the person had done the same winter. But maybe he was wrong. Maybe this person couldn’t accept Simon and his choices the way Simon thought he would always do. 

 

Things had been so good between them after Easter, after what happened at the spa. They had grown even more attuned to one another and everything seemed to be perfect between them. They seemed to be perfectly content with each other, always sharing small touches one way or the other. Always looking at each other if they were out of reach, and always complimenting each other or whispering small words of affection for only the other one to hear. Their friends had noticed the shift in their relationship too; they had commented on it once or twice but had been shut down by Wille or Simon asking them to mind their own business like they always asked them, taking their privacy seriously. Simon had not even told Rosh and Ayub what they had done that weekend. He didn’t feel like telling people. It was a private moment for only him and Wille to share.  

 

But as he stood there, looking at his boyfriend who was enraged, and maybe a bit hurt, Simon couldn’t help but think that maybe they weren’t as compatible as they had made it seem. Maybe they weren’t endgame like they would like to be. If Wille couldn’t understand and accept this part of Simon and his future life, how could they then be together in the future? 

 

“Why does everything always have to be on your terms?” Simon whispered out in the warm spring weather. 

 

“What? It’s not,” Wille looked confused, but still angry. 

 

“Everything we do, from the beginning, from back when we were just texting has been on your terms, Wille. I have been so considerate of what you would be allowed to do and how you’ve been portrayed. Why can’t my needs be met by you for once?” Simon yelled back in his face, tears threatening to fall. 

 

“That’s bullshit, Simon!” Wille cried back. “I came out for you! I…” 

 

He was interrupted by Simon, who was also crying now. “You shouldn't have to come out for me. You should have done it for yourself! And you only did that because everybody could see that it was you in that picture, Wille.” 

 

“Simon, WTF! How can you say that?!” Wille yelled, tears streaming down his face. “After everything I’ve done for you, you throw this at me!”

 

“You know what! I can’t do this!” Simon yelled before taking a deep breath. In a much calmer voice he continued. “I’m going home, Wille. I need some time alone.” 

 

And then he turned around to walk across the damn school so that he could get to the bus stop. He knew Wille was following him. He knew they both were still crying and that people were sending them looks. When he had to turn so he would go to the bus stop, Wille turned the other direction so that he would be heading towards Forest Ridge. 

 

Simon didn’t care. He was angry, hurt, confused, and sad. He was so sad and it hurt him deep inside. They had both said so many stupid things to each other, but even though it had been a stupid argument, they had also said a lot of things that were kind of true, too. And maybe that was what hurt in reality. They knew that they both had said completely true things about the other person. Things that they had pushed aside to make their relationship work. 

 

Simon spent the rest of his day inside his room playing music, writing lyrics, and losing himself to what gave him comfort. He didn’t tell his mother or Sara what was wrong. He didn’t talk to Rosh or Ayub and he didn’t text Wille. 

 

He didn’t text Wille the next morning either, but to be fair, Wille hadn’t texted him, so he didn’t feel too bad about that. 

 

At school they didn’t say a word to each other, only sent angry, hurt, or offended looks towards each other. Their friends were walking on eggshells around them the whole day until Wille finally gave in to what he probably had wanted to do the whole day, that was if Simon knew him well enough, and left them when they had study hall. 

 

Simon didn’t explain to his friends what was wrong, he didn’t acknowledge August when he asked Simon what he had done to Wille and he didn’t answer Sara when she tried to talk to him, offering him comfort. 

 

This went on for almost a week and a half until Simon on a Saturday evening got a text from Wille. He looked puzzled at the phone. They hadn’t talked since their fight and he was pretty sure that they had ruined everything between each other.  So why was Wille texting him now?

 

Wille

What do you want for your birthday?

 

Simon

I didn’t think you would be there

 

Wille

You asked me to be there so I’ll be there

 

Simon

I wish for nothing, Wilhelm

 

Wille

I’ll just figure something out then. 

 

Simon

What are you doing here, Wilhelm?

 

Wille

I’m texting my boyfriend

 

Simon

I didn’t know we were together still, or not anymore

 

Wille

If we aren’t nobody’s told me

 

Simon

Guess we’re still together then

 

Wille

Okay

 

Simon

Okay

 

It didn’t feel like they were together. The person he was texting was not the Wille he had known just two weeks prior, still Simon appreciated Wille reaching out to him. 

 

Simon

How was your day?

 

Wille

Okay, and yours?

 

Simon

Same

 

Wille

Good. I’m glad to hear that, Simon

 

And that was it. That was the end of their conversation if you could call it that. 

 

Monday

 

They didn’t talk in school the following Monday. Simon didn’t know what to say and Wille kept to himself not talking to anyone. By now the whole school probably thought that they in fact had broken up when they hadn't. They just didn’t talk to each other, or acknowledge the other person at all. It was strange, but maybe it was what they needed. They had been very intense from the start, engulfing themselves in a really mature relationship when they were only two 16-year-old boys trying to figure out how to be a couple. Now, even though they were older, they could feel the side-effects of having been so dependent on the other person. They needed some air, some time away from each other to find themselves again. To figure out who Wille was now and who Simon was now, because they were not the same people they had been back in December. 

 

Wille

You looked good today…

 

Simon

Thanks, so did you. 

 

Wille

Don’t lie. I know I look like shit these days

 

Simon

I look like shit too, Wille. I don’t sleep that much 

 

Wille

Same…

 

Simon

I’m sorry. I know how much the upcoming exams are stressing you. No sleep can’t be anything good for you right now. 

 

Wille

I’ll handle it. 

 

Simon

That’s good to hear.

 

Wille

I miss you, Simon

 

Simon

Yeah, I miss you too

 

Wille

But? 

 

Simon

Why would there be a but?

 

Wille

Because I would like to think that I know you, Simon. 

 

Simon

okay, fair enough.

 

Wille

What’s on your mind

 

Simon

Maybe it has been good for us to spend some time apart

 

Wille

Why does it sound like a question

 

Simon

because I’m not sure if it’s right or not. What do you think?

 

Wille

I don’t know. These last two weeks have been hell for me, Simon. I've missed you so much!

 

Simon

And I have missed you, but haven’t you stopped and thought for a moment just how much time we have spent together and that that amount of time maybe is not that healthy? 

 

Wille

No, I like spending time with you, Simon

 

Simon

I like spending time with you too, Wille. But come on. Don’t you see it? We have been utterly co-dependent on each other ever since Christmas.

 

Wille

ohh. I didn’t notice…

 

Simon

But we have. At least I think that we have been like that. Is that really what we want?

 

Wille

I don’t know. I just want to be with you.

 

Simon

But Wille… That’s not an answer I can use for anything..

 

Wille

What do you want me to say? 

 

Simon

I want to know if you think we spend too much time together? 

 

Wille

I don’t. You are the only one I can be myself around. Why would I like to spend less time with you?

 

Simon

I don’t know

 

Wille

Do you think that we spend too much time together? 

 

Simon

Maybe. We are always together. I mean. I can’t even remember when the last time I actually hung out with Ayub and Rosh was. Except for the bus ride each morning. 

 

Wille

I’m sorry, Simon. I didn’t know. 

 

Simon

I didn’t tell you. And also I might have forgotten them a bit after having started at Hillerska

 

Wille

you should spend some time with them this weekend then 

 

Simon

But it’s my birthday this Friday. I thought you were going to be here. 

 

Wille

I can just go back to Hillerska Saturday morning, then you can have the rest of the weekend with your friends. 

 

Simon

Okay

 

Wille

Okay 

 

And that was the end of their conversation. No ‘I love you,’ ‘Wish you were here,’ or ‘I need you.’ Just the little recognition that yes, they missed each other but somehow saw their relationship with different eyes. Nobody had apologized, nobody had said sorry for their fight, and perhaps nobody would because they were both stubborn teenagers.

 

Tuesday

The next day was a bit different than the other days. Wille and Simon hadn’t said a word to each other in school even though they shared a table in class. But when Simon came to class that morning Wille was sitting at their table looking at him with big puppy eyes that reminded Simon of a golden retriever. He looked cute like that. 

 

“Hey,” Wille said to him cautiously. 

 

“Hey,” Simon said back to Wille before sitting down at their table only to stand up again as their teacher entered the classroom. 

 

How are you? Simon read the note that was pushed towards him from Wille. I’m okay, you? Simon wrote back. Wille sent Simon a small smile before writing on the paper again. I’m coping. Miss us. How can we go back to being us again? 

 

Simon didn’t get a chance to answer Wille because in that moment their teacher decided that he would actually take action for once and call out the boys for passing notes in class. “His Highness, Simon. Do I need to remind you that there are exams in little less than a week?” his voice was heard throughout the room. 

 

“No, sorry,” Wille mumbled while Simon just shook his head vigorously. The whole class was looking at them, trying to figure out what the boys had been doing since it was clear to everybody that they hadn’t interacted in the last couple of weeks in any way, and now they were caught sending notes to each other. 

 

“Very well, then don’t let me catch you writing notes to each other in my class again. And pay attention!” he strictly said to the boys before turning his attention back to the board where he was writing the plan for the day.  Wille hid the note in the back of his notebook, sending Simon a pleading look before turning his attention back to the board and what was going on in class. Simon kind of hated that he had made Wille feel bad, or whatever he felt right now, but Simon had been hurt too, and he would not be the first one of them to give in and stand down on what he believed was the right thing. 

 

At lunch Simon sat together with Henry and Walter as he had done the last couple of weeks, Wille sitting on the opposite side of the table together with Alexander, saying nothing and just staring down at his food. 

 

Simon

I don’t know how we will go back to the way things were. I don’t even know how we got here, Wille

 

Wille

I know how we got here. 

 

Simon

How?

 

Wille

No, you’ll just be mad at me

 

Simon

Wille…

 

“Are you guys for real?” Henry’s voice was heard beside Simon. Simon looked up from his phone looking puzzled at Henry. “Are you actually texting each other instead of speaking together?” Henry then looked at Wille as if he had the answer to the question. Wille looked away before looking down at his phone again, not answering anything. 

 

“Just mind your own business, Henry,” Simon shot back at Henry when Wille didn’t say anything before he looked down at his phone as he got an incoming text. 

 

Wille

It all started when you got that record deal, Simon. The fight we had at the spa, the fight we had here. It’s all because of that, and you know it.

 

Simon

It wasn’t a fight back at the hotel. It was a discussion.

 

Simon

And what do you mean that it’s all because of my record deal? 

 

Wille

All our fights are about that, Simon!

 

Simon

No, they are about you and your stuck up, royal ass family not accepting me as I am!

 

Wille stood up with a force so grand that his chair dropped down to the floor causing the rest of the room to look at him. He was angry. Anyone could see that. And everyone knew that an angry prince brought nothing good with it. 

 

“How dare you!” He said in a cold voice to Simon looking him directly in the eyes. “How dare you say that! After everything I’ve done.” 

 

Simon looked up at Wille meeting his grace with hard eyes, willing himself to not feel anything. If he let himself feel anything right now he would break down in front of everybody from Forest Ridge. He couldn’t do that, couldn’t afford that. 

 

“But it’s the truth, Wilhelm,” Simon calmly said, using Wille’s full name even though he knew Wille hated it when Simon used it. 

 

“It’s fucking not as simple as that, Simon! Why can’t you see that!” Wille snarled at him. “We are trying to protect you!”

 

“I don’t need your protection if this is how it is,” Simon said standing up too. “What you do, what your Mama and her people do, that’s not protection, Wille. That is controlling and she doesn’t get to control my life. Maybe she can command you and Erik around like two puppets, and everybody else at that good forsaken family business you're a part of for that matter, but she can’t take my free will from me or tell me how to live my life!” 

 

“You take that back,” Wille whispered. He looked like he had been slapped by a wet newspaper, his big, brown eyes looking hurt and sad like he couldn’t fathom that Simon would dare to say such harsh things about his family. 

 

“No, I will not take that back, because that’s the truth, Wilhelm, and somebody has to tell you for once!” Simon slammed back at Wille. 

 

“Oh, fuck you!” Wille exclaimed before he left the room, leaving his mostly untouched food behind together with a shocked dining table.

 

Simon sat down again and began eating his food like nothing had happened. This was not something he would react to in front of everybody else. This was not something that he would acknowledge bothered him. So he sat in the silent room, ate his food, and just kept his mask on as he had done so many times that winter. The only difference now was that he didn’t have Wille’s soothing touch to help him get through his emotions and to calm him down. He didn’t have Wille by his side and no matter how much he pretended not to care, he hated that Wille wasn’t beside him, holding his hand underneath the table as he had done so many times before. 

 

Wednesday

 

Simon

Can we talk?

 

Wille

I don’t know if I want to talk with you right now, Simon

 

Simon

Please? We need to sort this thing out, Wille

 

Wille

Oh, so now we’re back to Wille?

 

Simon

Sorry…

 

Wille

I don’t know what to say, Simon. You were fucking out of line yesterday and that hurt me

 

Simon

I know, I know, but I just… I don’t know. I feel like they are controlling us in every aspect of our lives!

 

Wille

They are in some ways, but that doesn’t justify the way you talked about my family.

 

Simon

But it’s because of your mother, Wille. How she wants to portray us.. 

 

Wille

That still doesn't give you the right to talk like that about my family. I never brought up your dad and what he’d done to you. I never speak badly about your family and loved ones. 

 

Simon

I know, okay. And I’m sorry. I fucked up and let my feelings get away from me. 

 

Wille

And everybody heard that. They heard how little you think of Erik and me. Of my family. I don’t know what to do with that, Simon.

 

Simon

Sorry

 

Wille

I’m just so angry at you right now. It’s like you don’t even try to see things from my perspective any longer. It’s like you’re the only one who matters now, and that makes me hurt, Simon.

 

Simon

Wille, how can we fix this? You hurt me too, you know. Not supporting me and all that.

 

Wille

But I do support you, Simon! I just think that all of these social pages are a bad idea for us. We are not good at handling public attention. We both know that.

 

Simon

But I will have a whole team helping me with it. It will not be private posts I will make. It would be promotional posts and to connect with my potential audience. That’s something completely different in my opinion. 

 

Wille

Maybe it is. But I’m scared for you and how you’ll handle all the attention that will be drawn to you by this. 

 

Simon

We don’t even know if the single will be that good, Wille. 

 

Wille

It will. I know that. And then the court can’t keep press away from you and me any longer because then we will both be public figures. That’s what scares me the most, Simon. 

 

Simon

Okay, I can somewhat follow you on this one, but if we just stick together it will be okay. We will handle it together. 

 

Wille

Yeah, look how good we are at sticking together right now….

 

Simon

Don’t be an ass. We are in this together. That’s what we talked about

 

Wille

Says the one who thinks we are too much together

 

Simon

Wille, I didn’t mean it like that. i just thought it would be good to see other people 

 

Wille

What?!

 

Simon

Shit no, I mean, be together with friends without us being together all the time. 

 

Wille

My only friends are your friends too, Simon. You’re the only one of the two of us who has his own friends…

 

Simon

Wille…

 

Wille

Yeah, I don’t know, Simon. I’m just so fucking hurt all the time. Erik says I’m being too dramatic, but I can’t help feeling the way I feel.

 

Simon

Have you talked to Erik about us? And yes, of course you have the right to feel as you feel. That’s something Boris is always telling me. 

 

Wille

Hmm, he says that to me too. And yes, I’ve talked to Erik. Didn’t know who else I was supposed to talk to. 

 

Simon

Ohh, okay. That’s fair.

 

Wille

He asked if I still loved you

 

Simon

What did you answer? 

 

Wille

I said that of course still love you. How can I not?

 

Simon

I love you too, Wille. I do, but things are just so complicated now. 

 

Wille

Maybe it’s us who makes things too complicated 

 

Simon

Perhaps, but what are we supposed to do?

 

Wille

Ignore the problem until it goes away? 

 

Simon

Can we do that?

 

Wille

I vote yes

 

Simon

You’re not entitled to vote because of your title your highness

 

Wille

Fuck you, Simon. Don’t take this one away from me. It may be the only time in my life I’ll be able to cast a vote.

 

Simon

Okay, I’ll vote yes too then. Let’s hide the problem until it goes away or until we can no longer hide it.

 

Wille

Deal

 

Simon

Deal

 

Wille

I love you, Simon. I really do. 

 

Simon

I love you too, Wille<3 

 

Thursday 

 

Thursday was better. They were better. Simon had greeted Wille as he sat down in class, Wille had greeted him back with a smile. They hadn’t passed notes between them or said anything else to each other in class that day, afraid of getting in trouble with the teachers who were still running around trying to get the last piece of knowledge transferred into the students’ heads before they went on study leave. Simon was almost growing dizzy by all the last-minute information they tried to cram into their heads. 

 

At lunch Wille had walked side by side with Simon towards Forest Ridge. They hadn’t said anything to each other since their greetings in the morning, but the silence between them was no longer as tense as it had been before. It was just very silent. 

 

At the table Henry and Walter kept sending them side eyes, probably wondering why Simon and Wille were sitting together again after two weeks when they hadn’t spoken to each other or eaten together like usual. 

 

Simon didn’t care that they looked at him and Wille trying to figure out what their deal was; he just enjoyed sitting next to Wille again. That was until Vincent of all people stood up and made the dining hall silent. 

 

"What’s the deal with the two of you?" he started pointing his hands between the two boys before continuing. "Are you together again now all of a sudden?" 

 

"We were never not together, Vincent," Wille calmly said, taking Simon’s hand in his and if Simon didn’t know better, he would swear that just that single touch was enough to end him. They hadn’t touched in days. No, they hadn’t touched in weeks and now that Simon could feel the warmth from Wille’s hand in his, he discovered just how much he had missed Wille’s touch. 

 

"Why the fuck haven't you been attached at the hip as you used to be? Why on earth did you have a shouting match yesterday that killed the mood here at Forest Ridge? Why on earth have you, Wille, been walking around like a thunderstorm sending threatening looks towards everybody here?" Vincent continued. 

 

"That’s none of your business, Vincent," Wille calmly said, but he tightened his grip on Simon’s hand. 

 

"You make it my problem when you take it out on us," Vincent argued. 

 

"Vincent just let it go," August, of all people, said. 

 

"No, August. You have been too forgiving when it comes to Wille, letting him skip practice, letting him speak and act out of line, for what?" Vincent's attention was now on August. "For a fuck? Is it because you're fucking his sister?" Vincent pointed at Simon as he said the last bit.

 

August didn’t say anything, but his eyes went hard. Simon, on the other hand, was quick to act instead. 

 

"Don’t speak about my sister like that, Vincent," he said with venom in his voice. 

 

"Or what?" Vincent challenged.

 

"Or you'll have to deal with me and my family," Wille cut in using his official voice.

"Simon is a part of my family and therefore Sara is too, by extension. You better think before you speak about her in that way again," he finished before looking at Simon and nodding his head towards the door silently asking if they could leave the room.

 

Simon sent a small smile up towards Wille before standing up, looking harshly at August.  "How come you, for once, didn’t stand up for Sara if you really like her as you tell her?" 

 

They didn’t stay to hear an answer from August or from Vincent for that matter. Together they marched out of the dining hall, holding each other's hands until they were well protected by the walls in Wille’s room. 

 

When Wille had closed the door he had turned around to look at Simon who had placed himself in the middle of the room. 

 

"Simon, I…" Wille didn’t get to finish his sentence because Simon had greedily thrown himself in Wille's arms and started kissing him. Simon could feel the way Wille tensed for a millisecond before losing any resistance and meeting Simon in the kiss. 

 

"Thank you," Simon mumbled into the kiss, "thanks for standing up for Sara." 

 

Hearing Wille call Simon family and therefore also Sara had ignited something deep within Simon that he had forgotten existed with all that had been going on the last couple of weeks. He felt drawn to Wille like they were magnets attracting each other. He felt that if he didn’t touch Wille now, in that second, the world would end and he would die regretting being distant and angry at Wille before they had time to mend their broken hearts back together into one unit.

 

"Simon," Wille just sighed into their kiss, caressing every inch of body that he could get a hold on. 

 

"Missed you so much," Simon continued mumbling towards Wille's lips while simultaneously dragging Wille towards his bed, and tugging at the hem of the prince's T-shirt. "I need to be close to you, Wille," he finally revealed in a breathless voice. 

 

Wille nodded eagerly. "Yeah, me too. Missed you so much!" 

 

They hurriedly took action and got rid of their clothes in a most ungraceful way before crashing down onto the bed, enjoying their closeness once again forgetting all about classes and school. Simon had missed being this close to his boyfriend, missed the heat from Wille’s body, the way Wille’s hands would run up and down his back, making sure every part of Simon was covered in tenderness and love. That Simon was sure just how much he meant to Wille. 

 

It hit Simon that Wille was as tender in his love towards him as he was fierce when it came to protecting them. Him. 

 

Without any warning he began laughing because how foolish he had been to think that Wille didn’t care about Simon and his opinions. All Wille ever did was make sure that Simon was okay and make sure that Simon knew he was loved and appreciated. How could he have ever doubted his love? 

 

“What's so funny?” Wille asked, puzzled. 

 

“It’s just us. Look at us!” Simon said in between giggles. 

 

Willed looked even more confused so Simon pecked him on the nose before explaining further. “We haven’t been talking for two weeks, because of some stupid argument that we never should have had in the first place because it didn’t solve anything for us. We are still not seeing eye-to-eye on that issue.” Wille groaned and hid his head in Simon’s shoulder, clearly not wanting to bring up the argument they’d had. 

 

“No, don’t be like that, Wille,” Simon smiled down at Wille’s blond hair. “I just mean, look at us now. How long did it take for us to get to your bed after we entered this room? 5 minutes?”

 

“Even less I think,” Wille mumbled from a place tucked under Simon’s chin. 

 

“That’s my point. We can argue and be mad at each other because we are both stubborn as hell and proud, too, but we still love each other at the end of the day and we still feel the need to be together like this even though we haven’t spoken for so long and it just feels right, you know. To be here with you. That’s everything, love.” 

 

Wille took a sharp inhale as Simon called him love, having not heard that endearment on his lips for what felt like years. 

 

“Everything about you and me feels right, Simon,” Wille then said and raised his head to look at Simon before diving in for another kiss. And one kiss turned into many more kisses and caresses. Bodies were being appreciated, discovered anew, kissed, licked, tasted. It was euphoric to say the least, and when Simon finally came, with two of Wille’s fingers moving oh so pleasantly inside him he was lost to the rest of the world. This was something they could do without any arguing or any other outside bullshit thrown their way. This was them when they were the purest and he loved every single aspect of it! 

 

Much later when they ventured out of Wille’s dorm room they were once again met with curious looks and unsaid questions from their peers, but neither of them said anything. They just smiled at each other like two lovestruck teenagers, which to be fair, they were. 

They found their friends outside where they were chilling on a staircase enjoying the sun and warm weather. 

 

“You missed choir, Simon,” Felice said towards the two boys. 

 

“Ohh,” Simon said. “I lost track of time.”

 

“Mmmm, I bet you did,” Felice just said, sending him a suggestive look. 

 

“Felice please, that’s my brother!” Sara exclaimed looking petrified by what Felice suggested.

 

The others kindly laughed at her before Wille broke in with the best comeback Simon had heard him make in a while. 

 

“It’s not us turning up the volume of our music in the middle of the day when August comes to meet your Mama. That’s you, Sara,” he smiled innocently at her when Sara looked at him with horror in her eyes.

 

“Shut up!” she just shot back at Wille turning her back slightly away from them and began engaging herself in a talk with Frederika who was sitting alone behind Felice, eyeing Stella and Henry with cautious eyes.

 

Wille and Simon dropped down in the grass near their friends thinking that their friendly banter was over, but oh were they wrong.

 

“Maybe you should think of putting on some music when you guys are in your room, Wille,” Henry snickered at them .

 

“What!” Simon exclaimed looking terrified. He had laid himself down on the grass resting his head in Wille’s lap while Wille absentmindedly stroked his fingers through Simon’s curls.  

 

“Yeah, man, the walls at Forest Ridge are kind of thin,” Walter chimed in smiling mischievously. 

 

“OMG, I think I’m going to die,” Simon mumbled under his breath, pressing himself closer to Wille. He knew he was loud when they did stuff together. He knew that, but he just couldn’t help it. He needed to have an outlet for the overwhelming feelings he was feeling when they were together. It felt like he could comburst if he just kept quiet. Normally Wille would try to muffle all the sounds coming from Simon, but he hadn’t been able to do that today, both hands being occupied elsewhere and Simon was horrified to know that maybe, just maybe, someone had overheard him today at Forest Ridge.

 

“Come on guys, let the two boys be,” Maddie broke in clearly feeling how tense they had become. “Let’s enjoy the sun before this weather disappears again like it always does here in Sweden. I swear, this country has the strangest climate and shortest summers.” 

 

They laughed at her and quickly made it to other topics and Simon enjoyed himself. He liked spending time with his friends at school, being held by his boyfriend and seeing his sister having friends too. It was nice. 

 

Friday

 

Simon was putting on his school uniform when his phone vibrated.

 

Wille

Happy birthday, love!

 

Simon

Thank you, Wille. 

 

Wille

Can’t wait to hear you sing later today! I love when you sing.

 

Simon

Sap, leave me alone so I can get this damn uniform on and get to school on time.

 

Wille

So bossy

 

Simon

Shut up, Wille <3

 

Ayub

Happy birthday, man!

 

Rosh  

Yeah! Happy birthday! Can’t wait to catch up with you later today!

 

Simon

Thank  you guys, I miss you too Rosh

 

Ayub

Hey, what about me? Does anybody miss me?

 

Rosh  

never, Ayub

 

Simon

Always!

 

The school day went as expected. The choir sang, it went well. They listened to some speeches about their historic national day, and they chilled with their friends before it was time to take the bus back to Simon’s house. The weather was still warm and sunny, but you could still feel that it was only the beginning of summer, the wind having a soft chill to it.

 

Wille and Simon sat side-by-side in the bus, Simon resting his head against Wille’s shoulder, holding his hand while stroking his fingers up and down said hand. 

 

“Is it strange that I’m kind of nervous about this?” Wille suddenly asked. 

 

“What’s there to be nervous about? You’ve met Mama plenty of times before,” Simon answered matter of factly.

 

“I know, but I haven’t met Ayub and Rosh–not really–and they kind of scare me,” Wille admitted. 

 

“What?” Simon exclaimed, lifting his head from Wille’s shoulder so he could look at his boyfriend in disbelief. “How on earth can they scare you? They are just two goofy dorks. They won't hurt you or anything.” 

 

“But they are your friends, Simon. And they are so important for you,” Wille tried to explain. “I want them to like me.”

 

“Just be yourself, Wille,” Simon said simply.

 

“Easy for you to say,” Wille mumbled. “Remember how bad I am at actually interacting with people and oh, how I didn’t have any friends when we first met?” 

 

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Simon said, placing one hand on Wille’s cheek. “You had two friends, remember. Felice and Harry Potter.”

 

“OMG! You are so stupid, Simon!” Wille exclaimed a little too loud, dragging some attention their way from the others in the bus. 

 

“Mmm, you still love me,” Simon said before placing a shy kiss on Wille’s lips. 

 

“I very much do,” Wille said into the kiss before deepening it a bit, the Queen’s rules be damned.

 

ThatWOne Happy birthday to my love, Simon <3

 

SecretE Happy birthday, Simon! Hope you have an awesome day and that W isn’t too big of a pain today!

 

SimonEriksson I LOVE YOOUUU!!!!



Wille hadn’t lied. He had been so nervous about meeting Rosh and Ayub that he had kind of curtsied in front of them, not knowing what to do or how to present himself, which had earned him a laugh from everybody in the room and a fond kiss on the cheek followed by a warm hug from Simon. They had played board games while Linda was preparing the food for supper and Simon felt content just being there together with his two best friends, his sister, and his boyfriend. All of them got along, although Wille still was a bit cautious about what he said and how he behaved around Rosh and Ayub. 

 

When they sat down at the crammed dining table to eat, Wille cleared his throat before asking sheepishly, “Umm, have you gotten your presents yet Simon? Or uh.. don’t you get presents here? I really don’t know what…” He paused looking unsure of himself so Simon took his hand and kissed it gently.

 

“I got my presents this morning, love. Don’t worry about that,” Simon calmly said, smiling at Wille. 

 

“Oh, I didn’t realize,” Wille said. “Can I give you mine now, before we begin to eat?” 

 

“Yeah, of course,” Simon looked at his mother who gave an encouraging nod to Wille while smiling at him.

 

Wille bolted to Simon’s room where his overnight back had been dropped off only to return a moment later with a big square box balancing in his arms. 

 

“So, I know you said you didn’t want anything, but I thought that this was something you might like,” Wille explained before handing the present to Simon.

 

Carefully Simon took off the paper from the box only to find a black box with the name PRADA written across it. Simon looked at Wille with big eyes not knowing what to think before returning to the box, carefully lifting the lid and sliding away the silky paper that was protecting whatever was inside the box. 

 

“OMG, Wille, you didn’t!” Simon exclaimed and covered his mouth when he saw what was inside the box. Linda let out a gasp and Sara was standing up to see what was inside the box.

 

“I know it’s not much, but I really wanted to give you something nice. I thought that this was just so you and I couldn’t stop picturing you wearing this all around Stockholm this summer doing all your music stuff and looking good. I just had to buy it for you. And… oh, God. You don’t like it, do you? I can buy something else. I promise, Simon, I just...” Wille was rambling, totally and utterly consumed with nerves. 

 

“Shut up, Wille,” Simon said to him, carefully lifting the black belt bag out of the box. “This is too much. I can’t. I’m like… wow.”

 

“So you like it?” Wille asked hopefully, biting his thumb. 

 

“Do I like it? I love it, Wille. It’s so gorgeous! Thank you so much! But it’s too much. I’m just so, wow,” Simon carefully placed the bag down in the box again like it could break any moment before standing up and wrapping his arms around Wille, hugging him fiercely. 

 

“I love it, Wille. I love you, always,” he then whispered so only Wille would hear him before turning back to the table and his family. 

 

“Now, let’s eat,” he then said to all of them. “I’m so hungry and this looks absolutely delicious, Mama.” 

 

The dinner was good and everybody was talking and joking together. It was everything Simon loved about his family. But when they were about to clean the table and pack away the leftovers Wille’s phone rang. He quickly pulled it from his pocket getting ready to dismiss the call when a wrinkle appeared in his forehead from squeezing his eyebrows together. 

 

“Sorry, I have to take this one,” Wille stood up and walked away from the table to get a little privacy. The others started to clean the table and put everything away, but Simon kept a close eye on Wille, knowing that it had to be something family business related when Wille would change his mind and pick up the phone instead of just dismissing the call. 

 

“Hello, Mama,” his voice was heard throughout the room. 

“No, I’m at Simon’s. It’s his birthday,” Wille answered his mother. 

 

“No way, I’m not going back to Stockholm tonight,” he sent a worried glance toward Simon, locking their eyes together. 

 

“What do you mean? Why must I do that?” Wille’s eyes were turning worried, Simon could easily see that. 

 

“What?” Wille fell to his knees, voice trembling and Simon was with him in an instant. 

 

“How? What happened? Is he okay?” 

 

Tears were forming in Wille’s eyes and Simon had no idea what to do or what was going on, so he just held Wille in a tight embrace. 

 

The others had noticed that something was going on now, and all thoughts of cleaning and putting food away were forgotten. Linda hesitantly stepped towards the two boys sitting cramped together on the floor, but when Simon shook his head she stopped her movement and just stood there looking at them with big, worried eyes.  

 

“Coma? For how long? When will he wake up, Mama? I don’t understand. How?” 

 

Wille was crying now, and he was not trying to hide it behind a mask made for a prince. He deflated into Simon’s arms like all energy and strength had suddenly left him. Simon placed a careful kiss on his forehead before rocking him from side-to-side, trying to comfort him the best way he knew. 

 

“Yes, I understand. I’ll be ready in an hour's time, Mama.” Wille then sniffled and ended the call. “Mama says happy birthday to you,” he then said to Simon before wiping away his tears and standing up like nothing had happened. Like he hadn’t just sat on the floor of Simon’s living room crying his eyes out. 

 

 “Wille, What’s happening?” Simon asked while standing up himself. 

 

Wille looked at everybody in the room, eyes darting between Ayub and Rosh as if he couldn’t decide if it was something he would share with them. The room was silent, nobody moved or did anything. Finally Wille made up his mind, took a deep breath and said with his most official voice Simon had ever heard him speak in. “There has been a car accident. Erik was in the car. He’s in a coma now, and I’m going back to Stockholm to be with him. There will be an official press statement once everything has been sorted out so please do not tell anybody about this.” He then turned around and marched into Simon’s room, shutting the door firmly behind him. 

Notes:

Let the second phase begin! I am curious - what do you think will happened with our two boys?
You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 22: Chapter 22

Summary:

We start this broadcast with some devastating news.

Notes:

Happy Thursday – Or said with other words – Happy little Friday! I hope this is everything you wanted and that you guys will like this chapter 😊I do hehe.
You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter twenty two 

 

“We start this broadcast with some devastating news. This morning it was confirmed by the Royal Courts spokesperson that His Royal Highness Crown Prince Erik was involved in a car accident. The Crown Prince was severely injured by the accident, which took place after the festivities the Crown Prince was attending to celebrate Sweden’s national day. His Royal Highness was immediately brought to the hospital to receive treatment for his injuries. We have been informed that the Crown Prince suffered massive head trauma and has several broken bones. He is currently in a coma.

 

Crown Prince Erik’s brother, Prince Wilhelm, is to cover the Crown Prince’s duties for the foreseeable future until the Crown Prince can resume them. Furthermore, Prince Wilhelm will take his exams in Stockholm and will not return to the boarding school he’s been attending all year, Hillerska, for the foreseeable future. Prince Wilhelm has decided,  together with his parents, that it’s best for everyone if he stays in Stockholm as long as his brother, His Royal Highness Crown Prince Erik, is in the hospital. Prince Wilhelm will also act as Head of State whenever Her Majesty The Queen is out of the country. 

 

The wedding between Crown Prince Erik and Tindra has been postponed until further notice. 

Other news today…” 

 

Simon looked at his phone. He hadn’t heard from Wille since he had arrived at the hospital last night and it concerned him that Wille hadn’t reached out to him. It made him upset that his only updates about how both Wille and Erik were doing had come from watching the news. It wasn’t how it things were supposed to be. Wille should be able to trust Simon with this and rely on him to get through this mess that Wille was brought into, but right now Wille had chosen to keep Simon at arm's length, which was hurting Simon immensely.

 

Simon could only imagine how this event would cause Wille’s anxiety to go sky high. He could picture his Wille sitting at that awful palace, biting his nails, rubbing soothing circles into his chest, trying to collect himself. And where was Simon? Not by Wille’s side to offer comfort and a shoulder to cry on. 

 

Days went by without a word from Wille. Simon texted him every day, telling him about school, the different exams, how people were hooking up and breaking up and how he missed and loved Wille with every fiber of his body. He got no reply from Wille, but the texts were all read so he took that as a win.  

 

Time dragged on in a strange, blurred way until it was suddenly time for their summer vacation. All exams had been completed and passed, and everyone was ready for a summer filled with new experiences. 

 

Linda and Sara were flying to Spain for a week while Simon had to stay behind in Stockholm, working on his music together with the record label. Even though he was in a mellow mood most of the time due to Wille’s sudden absence, he really looked forward to his summer. He had packed his bags with every single piece of clothing that he owned, as well as his laptop and his notebook. This was going to be awesome. This had to be a success! He needed to get his head in the game and focus on what was important now. And that was to make music. And not just music, but good music!

 

Simon

Hey, Wille. How are you? I’m on my way to Stockholm by now. Taking the train again is a pain, but I’ll get through it. I’ve been checked in to this hotel where I have a small kitchen and seating area too and that’s where I’ll spend my summer. I miss you. I love you. I hope that you are okay<3

 

He stared down at his phone with a heavy heart, knowing that he probably wouldn’t get a reply from his boyfriend that he hadn’t heard from in 3 weeks now. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why couldn’t they just be Wille and Simon? 

 

Simon almost fell off his seat when his phone vibrated with an incoming text from Wille, of all people.

 

Wille

Hey, Simon. I hope that you’ll have a great summer and that this will be everything you’ve ever dreamt of. I’m going on our summer tour this summer together with Mama and Papa. 

 

Simon

Wille!? How are you? How’s Erik? Are you okay?

 

Wille

There’s nothing new about Erik. I’m coping the best that I can, but I’m not okay. 

 

Simon

Can I call?

 

Wille

I don’t think that’s a good idea, Simon…

 

Simon

Why?

 

Wille

I shouldn’t be texting you either, Simon. I just wanted to wish you good luck in the studio. 

 

Simon

Wille?

 

Wille

Things are different now, Simon. I have to be different. I can’t be…

 

Simon

You just have to be you, Wille. I love you, you are perfect!

 

Wille

But Mama doesn’t, not the way I am now at least. I have to be different or else everything will fall apart. I will always love you Simon. I really do believe that you’re the only one for me <3 

 

Simon

Wille, I love you too! So much <3 But please explain this to me. What’s going on with your Mama? 

 

Simon

Wille? Please answer me. Don’t just leave me hanging like this!

 

Simon

God damn it, Wille. This is not okay!

 

Simon angrily put his phone away, opting to stare out the window instead for the remainder of his trip. So what if his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces little by little. He wouldn’t let anything show. This was not something he should be bothered with right now. This was his chance to show his worth and he would be damned if Wille’s absence would cost him his chance for a proper record deal. 

 

After dropping off his baggage Simon headed directly to the record label. He was greeted by one of the men, Daniel, that he had talked to back in April and was led up to the floor where they had their offices. Daniel made quick introductions to the remaining people in the room. Eva was a songwriter and producer, Johan was another producer, and then there was Daniel himself who was one of the owners of the record label. 

 

Before they dove into the creative process of re-writing and optimizing the lyrics Simon already had written, they would like to get Simon set up with his social media pages. Simon just went along with what they suggested and before he knew it he had posted his first official post as an upcoming artist. 

SimonErikssonOfficial Spending my summer here, creating magic!

 

After posting on social media they started to mess around with lyrics and melodies, everybody offering different opinions about everything involved in creating the songs. But even though Simon’s lyrics were stripped down and put together again, he loved everything about this creative process and how people worked together and respected each other, including him, even though he was the new kid in town. They didn’t mind his inexperience as long as he kept up with them and put in some effort.

 

He soon found himself forgetting about Wille and his strange text that morning and when he went to bed that night he actually felt happy. It had been a good day even though it had started off not going Simon’s way, but the way it had turned out was just like the dreams he’d always had. 

 

Simon’s week continued much like his first day in Stockholm. He didn’t hear from Wille throughout the week and even though it hurt him, he decided to not let it bother him. He would be strong for his own sake. 

SimonErikssonOfficial Stockholm is treating me so well💜

 

Wille 

Hey

 

Simon 

Hej

 

Wille 

Are you doing well? 

 

Simon 

Yes, everything is so new and exciting

 

Wille 

That’s good

 

Simon 

How are you, Wille?

 

Wille 

As can be expected. 

 

Simon 

What does that even mean?

 

Wille 

We will start our summer tour tomorrow. I don’t feel good leaving Erik. 

 

Simon 

How is he?

 

Wille 

Nothing new there. Tindra stays with him though.

 

Simon 

Ohh, well that’s something right? 

 

Wille 

I don't think I can do this tour, Simon. 

 

Simon 

But you have too, right. For Erik's sake.

 

Wille 

Is that really what he wanted for me? To travel along with a circus doing what I'm told? 

 

Simon 

Wille, I can’t answer you that. You're the one who knows Erik the best.

 

Wille 

But you're the one who knows me the best. What am I supposed to do? 

 

Simon 

Be strong for yourself,  Wille 

 

His second week in Stockholm was different.  He had started recording his first single.  Simon had never imagined how many times he’d have to sing a single line before Daniel was satisfied with what they had. Sometimes it was excrutiating to sing the same words over and over again, but in the end it always sounded awesome. The song they were recording was the same one Simon had sent to the record label for his demo. It was his very own song, and he would have the credits for not only for the singing but also for writing the lyrics as well, which was thrilling.

 

In the evenings Simon was sometimes invited along with Eva, Johan, or Daniel to meet some people from the business or just to eat together. It was nice and it made Simon feel less lonely in the big capital of Sweden. But the evenings he spent alone in his room were spent longing for his boyfriend and missing his friends and his family. In those evenings he felt lonely and out of place and soon usually found himself tracking Wille’s whereabouts. It was not that difficult considering that he was on a summer tour together with his parents.  

 

They had started in the very north of Sweden visiting Abisko in Lappland. They visited the Abisko National Park and talked about some nature protection programs. It had been covered in the news and Simon soaked up every single glance he could get of Wille from that appearance.

 

The next day they had been in Kiruna, visiting a public school and talking with local politicians. Wille had looked tired that day, Simon had thought to himself when he saw Wille on the news. 

 

Sometimes Simon chatted with Rosh and Ayub, but they were on vacation spending time with their families, so Simon felt very lonely the first two weeks in Stockholm. But it was okay, he thought to himself when lying in his bed in the evenings, looking for any news about Wille or waiting for his friends to reply. If this experience gave him his break in music, it was worth it to suffer from a bit of loneliness. It struck him that this was probably how Wille felt all the time—lonely. Or maybe this was how Wille had felt until their worlds collided and Wille started making real friends at Hillerska. 

 

The third week in Stockholm offered Simon new connections. He was assigned to a voice coach who he got along with very well. She was well in her thirties, but super chill and down-to-earth and she managed to work with Simon in a way where he felt that he could grow and have fun at the same time. Smilla, his voice coach, soon introduced Simon to some other young musicians. By the end of that third week he’d actually made some pretty decent friendships with Smilla and another artist named Clara. 

 

Clara was an 18-year-old girl living in Stockholm. She sported the classic Swedish look: blond hair, blue eyes, and very fair skin. She was tall and had a loud laugh that always affected Simon in a positive way. Clara was easy-going and had a love for music just like Simon. Since they were part of the same label they went to the studio at the same time. When Clara was booked for a recording session, Simon often chilled in the lounge area, writing lyrics or working together with Eva or Johan on perfecting some of the stuff he had already written. These days were hectic and long, but Simon had grown to love this bustle of the studio life. He remembered to share everything with his mom and Sara, texting them everyday and calling as often as their different schedules would allow them. Sara and Linda would fly to Spain to visit their family the following Monday and Simon only felt a little guilty for not being able to go with them, but Linda always reassured him every time it came up in their conversations that it was okay and that he would just have to go there another time.

 

Friday evening they were all hanging out in the lounge area at the studio. Clara had just finished her last recording for her upcoming single. It only needed proper mixing now and Simon was almost finished with not one, but three songs. They were only missing the recording part of his work with the two last songs, which to be honest was a pretty big thing to be missing on a project like this, but he felt that he had come a long way in the three weeks he had been in the capital. 

 

Daniel, his wife Tilde, and Johan were telling stories about their youth and how they had started the label making everyone laugh at their shenanigans and whatnot, when Simon’s phone suddenly started to ring. 

 

Simon frantically tried to put the phone on silent, not wanting to disrupt the good mood, but he froze when he saw the name on the caller ID: Wille.

 

“Sorry,” Simon mumbled. “I have to take this.” 

 

Then he stood up and moved away from the group of people to get just a little privacy and avoid the curious looks he got.

 

“Wille?” he carefully asked, his voice not much louder than a whisper when he answered the call. 

 

“Simon?” Wille’s voice was heard from the other end of the phone. 

 

Simon closed his eyes, only now remembering, or rather letting himself feel, how much he missed Wille. It hurt just thinking of how long they had been apart and how strange and distant their relationship had become. He sharply inhaled before throwing himself into what would most likely become a very painful conversation with his boyfriend. 

 

“How are you?” Simon carefully asked. 

 

“Not good,” Wille confessed in an instant. 

 

“Wille…” Simon slowly said, feeling his heart tighten by hearing this. He was aware that the group of people in the sofas and chairs were sending him eyes and most likely listened in on his conversation, all of them being very fond of gossip and whatnot. 

 

“I have to tell you something,” Wille interrupted Simon’s thoughts. 

 

“Okay? Is it serious? Is it about Erik?” Simon hurriedly asked, making the room fall almost quiet. 

 

“Kind of,” Wille started. “The doctors, they are not sure if he will wake up again and if he does, they don’t know about his brain activity. They can’t really figure out from the different tests and scans they have been running on him whether there’s enough brain activity. Maybe he’s just going to wake up and be a vegetable for the rest of his life. They don’t know. Or maybe he’s going to wake up and have an extremely long recovery process and, and…” Wille cut himself off and it sounded like he was trying to breathe but couldn’t. 

 

“Wille, breathe, love,” Simon tried to stay calm but he himself was starting to get a bit wary of this conversation. “Just breathe and continue when you are ready, okay. Just breathe with me.”

 

They stayed silent for some minutes, just breathing into the phone. Simon looked out of one of the windows in the studio. Even though it was nearing 9 PM it wasn’t dark outside, perks, or perhaps not, of living this high north of the equator. It never really got totally dark in the summers. 

 

“Mama and Papa want to put me in position to take over for Erik’s role permanently,” Wille suddenly burst out saying. 

 

“What?” was Simon’s immediate response, not knowing anything better to say. He quickly collected himself and when Wille kept quiet after his outburst Simon concluded that he was the one who would have to speak. 

 

“But have they given up on Erik? Their own son? I understand that you need to fill in for him now when he is in a coma, but like, he might wake up and be okay. Then he can continue with the crown prince stuff and you’ll just be you again. Can’t that happen?” Simon became aware that he was speaking loudly and turned around to look at the people he worked together with, sending him curious and worried looks having heard everything Simon had said.

 

“Simon, Erik had his whole life to prepare for what being a Crown Prince entailed. I haven’t had that preparation, so I need to start shadowing Mama now if I need to take over permanently one day. Even if Erik wakes up again it will be a long time before he’d truly be back where he can do anything useful work-wise. I need to do this for Erik, Simon,” Wille tried to explain.

 

“But you hate being out in public, Wille. You can’t even do a presentation in front of the class, how are you supposed to act like a Crown Prince? I… how? Why would they do this to you? Don’t they know how much it will hurt you?” Simon frantically tried to say to Wille. 

 

“They know, but there’s no one else who can do this, Simon. It has to be me,” Wille said with a sad voice.

 

“Okay,” Simon collected himself and tried to lock away his own worried feelings. “Okay, but how does that affect us then? More rules?”   

 

“I umm, I might not come back to Hillerska right after summer vacation, Simon. I need to be shadowing Mama at the palace and stuff. We’ve talked about getting a private tutor,” Wille  whispered. 

 

“No! You can’t not come back, Wille!” Simon said. “How, I don’t understand this. Erik could attend Hillerska for all three years. Why not you?” 

 

“Because Erik knew more than me about what it means to be a King someday, Simon. God damn it!” Wille shouted from the other side of the phone, making Simon jump a little. 

 

“Sorry,” Simon whispered. “It’s just like, a lot I guess.”

 

“I think that too. That’s why I called you, so we could talk and be in this together, but maybe it was a mistake,” Wille slowly said.

 

“No, no, no. Wille, No. I just don’t… I don't really understand it,” Simon tried to explain.

 

“Well, how could you? I just thought… Nevermind. I have to go, Simon. I love you, always,” Wille said with sadness clear in his voice. 

 

“Love you too, Wille,” Simon said before the call was disconnected. 

 

Simon stood still for some time turning his phone around in his hands. What was this even? Wille becoming a substitute Crown Prince? Or was he in fact being prepared to be the actual fucking Crown Prince of Sweden? Simon felt dizzy and stumbled a little on his way back to the sofa. 

 

Clara was holding out her arms for him, catching him in a tight hug when he crashed on the sofa. “Everything alright?” she asked in her soft voice. 

 

“Everything is peachy. Why wouldn’t it be?” Simon shot back a bit too venomously. “Sorry,” he then quickly added. 

 

“I didn’t think you were with the prince any longer,” Tilde carefully started looking at Simon with big eyes. 

 

Simon looked at her puzzled, having forgotten all about the tabloid story about them breaking up until now.

 

“Ohh, well, we never broke up. That was just something the tabloids made up when they saw me walking around the park near Drottningholm,” Simon tried to explain. 

 

“Why were you walking around in your boyfriend's garden all alone? It sounds a bit creepy,” Eva mugged, making the mood a bit lighter. 

 

“Wille was out doing some official stuff together with his parents and I had a day for myself at Drottningholm, the weather was nice so I decided to go outside. It’s not that strange Eva,” Simon shot back at her. 

 

“Sure,” she rolled her eyes. “Nothing out of the normal being left alone at Drottningholm to spend the day. Happens to me all the time.” 

 

“Just shut up, will you?” Shimon said as a pink blush tainted his cheeks.  

 

They soon after broke apart deciding it was time to call it a day. Simon would start recording again Sunday, having Saturday off. The following week would be spent in the studio recording his two singles that he needed to finish. Simon had by now been approved to release three singles before an album. His social media accounts were doing great and had already built him a small fan circle. After recording they would do various promotional pictures, then go back to some voice coaching, and then record again. When they were all done with that, Simon's vacation would be nearing an end and he would have to go back to Bjärstad and back to school. That felt so far out in the future and like a totally different world that Simon couldn’t care to think of that now. 

SimonErikssonOfficial Magic happens when you are surrounded by talented people @ClaraTheRealOne

 

Simon spent Saturday together with Clara going shopping, chilling, and just having fun. The two were very much alike and he felt drawn to her high energy and constant funny commentary. He told her all about his two best friends back in Bjärstad, about what it was like to attend a school like Hillerska with his strange and over-the-top experiences with the privileged kids who were his classmates now, and would be for the rest of his schooling, but nothing about Wille. He told her about how he and Sara had been approved for scholarships for the next two years and how it relieved their mother when they had been approved, her not wanting to send her kids back to Marieberg. 

 

Clara, on the other hand, told Simon about her upbringing in Stockholm, how she had just finished her final exams and now had Studenten . She would dedicate her next year or two completely to music before deciding if she would study further, but as her cards were right now, she had a pretty decent outlook having already broken into the business with one single that past spring which had done well. 

 

Sunday evening after having spent the whole day in the studio recording the same line over and over again, Simon was done. He was so tired, his head hurt, and he felt like he had run a marathon when in fact he had just been standing up for most of the day, singing lines he knew by heart in various ways until Johan and Daniel were happy with what they had recorded. It had been fun, it really had, but it had also been frustrating and demanding of Simon and now he just wanted to hide under the duvet and relax to a movie or something like that. He found his phone and opened the group text he had going with Ayub and Rosh.

 

Simon

Hey guys, how are you?

 

Rosh

OMG, who are you? I don’t really remember you?

 

Simon

Haha, very funny, Rosh 

 

Ayub

It’s been so long since we’ve hung out, Simon. I don’t even remember what you sound like anymore!

 

Simon

Seriously, Ayub. stop it. I wrote to you guys right now, didn’t I?

 

Rosh 

True. So what are you up to?

 

Simon

Nothing much right now. Been recording all day and stuff.

 

Rosh

That’s awesome, Simon. Everything like you imagined? 

 

Simon

Yes and no to that one. It is how I expected in some ways but in others it’s just so much more, you know. It’s hard to explain. Anyways. How are you guys?!

 

Ayub

Rosh got back from vacation a couple days ago so we are actually just catching up right now.

 

Rosh

Yeah, We’re at the pizzeria. You should have been here too. 

 

Simon

If Rosh has been home for days why is it only now that you are catching up?

 

Ayub

I’ve been busy, Simon. You know others have a life too. 

 

Rosh 

Yeah, busy my ass. You’ve been ditching me because of some girl! 

 

Simon

OMG! Are you dating Ayub?!

 

Ayub

No, it’s just Rosh being stupid and a bad friend!

 

Simon

You are totally seeing someone! Who is it? OMG I wish I was there with you guys right now.

 

Rosh

Yeah, me too! Ayub looks about ready to die from embarrassment right now. It’s too funny actually!

 

Ayub

Leave me alone guys!

 

Rosh

What I can’t believe is not that Ayub is dating, Ayub is wonderful! I can’t believe it’s Simon and I who are the lonely single ones here. 

 

Simon

Hey, I’m not single!

 

Rosh

When was the last time you actually saw him, Simon?

 

Simon

On my birthday, you know that.

 

Ayub

Rosh leave it be…

 

Rosh

Yeah, that’s not long ago at all! When was the last time you spoke to him? 

 

Simon

Friday! OMG why are you even like this Rosh? 

 

Rosh 

I don’t want to see you get hurt.

 

Simon

I won't be hurt, Rosh. 

 

Ayub

Can we just talk about something else, please. I feel like this could be ugly. Simon, do you really hang out with Clara? The one with that single?

 

Simon

Mmm, we went shopping yesterday… She’s really cool. 

 

Rosh

Look at you, living your life with the rich and famous!

 

Simon

She’s neither, Rosh. She just released a single. That’s it.

 

Ayub

Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Simon. 



Simon had thought it would be fun to do photo shoots, but he wasn’t prepared for just how many people who were actually involved in said photoshoot. Daniel and Johan were there, and somehow Smilla was attending too, did she not have a job herself? There was a stylist and a makeup artist. Then there were two different photographers and someone standing by a computer all the time. Then there was some kind of assistant that ran between people offering them food and drinks and doing other various stuff. It was all very confusing and Simon suddenly felt a bit overwhelmed by all the experiences he had had throughout the summer. But he did as he so often did and put his feelings aside so he could focus on the task at hand. It felt very fake standing in the middle of a room trying to look somewhat sexy, when he knew nothing about modeling or taking great photos. It was different when they were together with friends taking pictures or when he posed for Wille to take a picture or even just snapped a selfie himself. Because then it was just for them and no one else would be judging their attempt at looking good. These photos would be accessible for everyone once they were released and that was kind of scary. It was almost like… He stopped his stream of thoughts by noticing two things. He had been comparing the release of these pictures with the leak of him and Wille kissing and he had let Wille drift into his mind thinking of them as a unit when he thought of taking pictures in private. It was probably because Wille was one of the only people who actually got to see Simon's private pictures. Simon cursed his obsession with his absent boyfriend and forced himself into focusing on the job ahead of him; he forced himself to let go and have fun.

SimonErikssonOfficial Would this make a good album cover?

 

The “yellow shoot” as they had named one of the shoots had been ready for Simon to post when his last week in Stockholm was nearing. The summer was almost over and he had spent the whole time working, singing, taking photos, and building relationships that would be of use for later on in his career. As much as he had enjoyed his summer and all he had experienced throughout it, he was looking forward to getting some normalcy back in his life. He was looking forward to seeing his friends, family, and even that posh school of his. 

 

His phone vibrated, giving Simon a minor heart attack. 

 

Wille

You look really good in that photo that you posted today, Simon <3

 

Simon

Thank you, Wille.

 

Wille

How are you?

 

Simon

I’m tired, a bit overwhelmed from everything, but all in all I’m okay. You? 

 

Wille

The exact opposite of you. 

 

Simon

Is there anything I can do to help you? 

 

Wille

I don’t think so. I just miss you, being with you, you know.

 

Simon

I miss you too, Wille. You have no idea…

 

Wille

I’m back in Stockholm…

 

Simon

Ohh, I’m in Stockholm too for another week. 

 

Wille

What are you doing right now?

 

Simon

Nothing much, I was about to find a movie or something to watch when you wrote.

 

Wille

Okay. Do you… Should we…

 

Simon

Are you allowed?

 

Wille

I honestly don’t know, but I don’t care. Text me your address and I’ll pick you up. 

 

Simon

I need to be at the studio tomorrow at 9 Am, Wille. 

 

Wille

Ohh, I can drop you off tomorrow morning then. I have nothing planned, getting some time off. 

 

Simon

Okay, I’ll be waiting for you<3 

 

Simon hurriedly texted his address to Wille before all but running to the bathroom to make him somehow presentable. It had been months since he had last seen Wille and he was now growing nervous, which was really silly considering everything they had been through together. They had seen each other in their most vulnerable moments so why was he so nervous about seeing his own boyfriend again?.  



Prince Wilhelm’s secret night escapades

Sunday evening Prince Wilhelm was seen entering a car together with his longtime on-and-off again boyfriend Simon Eriksson. The last time the boys were seen in proximity together was back in April, when their relationship allegedly ended for good. Only days after they were spotted in a spa in Stockholm and now they are seen sneaking around enjoying the nightlife in Stockholm. 

Prince Wilhelm has been on a tour throughout Sweden this whole summer together with his parents filling in for his brother Crown Prince Erik, who is still hospitalized. Prince Wilhelm has only now arrived back at the Royal Family’s residence Drottningholm, Sunday morning. Simon Eriksson has been in Stockholm all summer allegedly working together with a record company, something that we are all very excited to see what comes out of his time there.  

But the big question remains - Are the prince and Simon still dating or are they just using each other for pr purposes? The latter wouldn’t surprise us given their history with the media. 

 

Monday morning Simon was sitting in the backseat of a black car together with Wille, a goofy smile plastered on his face. Seeing Wille again after so long had been the most wonderful thing in the world. Somehow someone had gotten a picture of them getting into Wille’s car last night, but Simon really didn’t care. They had had an entire evening and morning together just the two of them, and that was more than they’d had in months. 

 

Simon had been afraid of it all being awkward, but as soon as they had seen each other every worry disappeared and they were back to being just Wille and Simon. They had talked for hours filling each other in on everything that had happened during their summer, Simon only having good and exciting things to share. Wille, on the other hand, had been miserable the whole summer, but felt a deep, deep responsibility towards Erik so he wouldn’t stop filling in for him. He just put his own needs aside for the time being, something Simon somewhat could relate to. 

 

As the car neared the studio, Simon looked at Wille who was holding Simon’s hand firmly in his own.

 

“Do you want to come in? I can show you around and stuff?” Simon suggested. 

 

“Would that be okay? Don’t you need to work or whatever it is that you do there?” Wille cautiously asked. 

 

“I’m sure it’s okay. You can just pull rank or something like that. Use that fine title of yours for something good,” Simon smiled at Wille before kissing his hand. 

 

“Okay, I’ll come with you,” Wille just replied with a happy smile on his lips, probably just as drunk on love as Simon was feeling. 

 

They got into the studio without anyone noticing them and Simon quickly led Wille by his hand into the main area, the lounge room. 

 

“Hey guys,” Simon greeted someone who was sitting with their back to the entrance.

 

“Morning, Simon. You’re early this morning,” a man said back to Simon.

 

“Umm, yeah. I had a lift by someone,” Simon sheepishly replied, sending Wille a smile.

 

“Ohh, did you now?” The man stood up and turned around to face Simon, but stopped in his tracks when his eyes landed on Wille. “I wasn’t aware that you brought a guest today, Simon” 

 

“Umm, yeah. So, This is Wille. Wille this is Daniel,” Simon quickly introduced them feeling strangely embarrassed by the situation. 

 

“Smooth, Simon. Now I for sure know who Daniel is,” Wille mugged Simon before stepping forward to greet Daniel properly. 

 

“Hello, I’m Wille, Simon’s boyfriend. It’s nice to meet you,” Wille gracefully said, reaching his hand out to shake the producer's hand. It didn’t skip Simon’s attention that Wille had introduced himself as Simon’s boyfriend and not just Wille or Wilhelm. It warmed Simon’s heart that Wille still saw himself as just Simon’s boyfriend and nothing more. 

 

“Hello, Your Highness. I’m Daniel, producer and owner of this record label,” Daniel said in a professional voice. 

 

“Please, just Wille,” Wille hurriedly said before being pulled away by Simon in the direction of the small kitchen. 

 

“We'll just take a quick cup of coffee and then I’ll show Wille around before he has to leave. Is that okay?” Simon asked Daniel.

 

“Sure, but we have a deadline, Simon. This is your last week here for the time being after all,” Daniel reprimanded him before turning back to his laptop that was placed on a small coffee table. 

 

Simon fixed two cups of coffee for Wille and himself before dropping down on a sofa in the lounge area signaling for Wille to do the same. It was clear that Wille was not feeling at home in the studio as Simon had grown to feel and it kind of stung a little. But why would Wille feel at home in this brand new environment that was rapidly filling up with people he didn’t know. It was stupid of Simon to think that Wille would feel at home right away. 

 

“OMG! Simon, are you here yet?” someone called from the hall. 

 

“In here, Eva!” Simon yelled back.

 

“You have to see this!” Eva said back before entering the lounge area with her phone pushed towards Simon showing an article featuring him and Wille. 

 

“Ohh,” Simon just said, because what was she expecting him to say? 

 

“Mama, already sent that one to me asking for an explanation,” Wille said dryly from beside Simon. 

 

Eva moved her attention to Wille as if it was the first time that she saw that there were more people in the room. 

 

“Umm, hello,” she said as she sent an awkward wave towards Wille trying to hide her stunned expression.  

 

“Eva, this is Wille, my boyfriend. Wille this is Eva. She’s a songwriter I’ve been working with this summer,” Simon introduced. 

 

“Look at you, getting better at introducing people to each other!” Wille said with mischief in his eyes. Eva just looked shocked by the boys’ interaction. 

 

“Shut up, Wille!” Simon hissed. “It’s not me who has to be lured into making actual friends.” 

 

Eva and Daniel were looking at them in awe, not believing what they were hearing. 

 

“Wow, Simon. Low blow, even for you,” Wille just answered before standing up.”I better get going so you guys can get some work done. And I really want to visit Erik before Mama and Papa get home. You can show me around another time, Simon, Okay?”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Simon said, confused. Why did Wille even have to leave? Couldn’t he just chill in the studio for the time being? “I’ll show you out.” 

 

Wille said his farewell to Daniel and Eva before reaching for Simon’s hand and walking out to the hallway. In the hallway Wille wrapped himself around Simon, burying his head in Simon’s wild curls. 

 

“I’ll miss you, Simon,” he mumbled, squeezing Simon closer. 

 

“I’ll miss you too, love. When will I see you again?” Simon said, feeling his eyes getting misty.

 

“I honestly don’t know, Simon,” Wille moved himself away from the hug only to kiss Simon passionately on the lips. “I’ll figure something out okay?”

 

Simon just nodded feeling all of his lightness and good mood from that very same morning disappear like it never really was there to start with. 

 

“I love you, Wille,” Simon only said, looking Wille directly in the eyes. 

 

“I love you too, Simon, always,” Wille replied, then kissed Simon one last time before he walked out of the door and stepped into the big black car that was waiting for him. 

 

Simon had a hard time concentrating throughout the day, his thoughts always drifted back to the previous night that was spent together with Wille at his room at Drottningholm–to their conversations and loving touches.

 

“Why are you not allowed to see me any longer?” Simon had asked once they were securely in place in Wille’s room. He was sitting on Wille’s bed, Wille on his desk chair a measurable distance between them. 

 

“It’s kind of hard to explain,” Wille said. 

 

“Try anyway,” Simon demanded, needing some closure to their tango back and forth.

 

“To put it short, Mama thinks it will reflect badly on us if a potential future king is queer. If I stop being seen with you now, we can blame it on some wild teenage rebellion or something equally as stupid. She’s so afraid Erik won’t have a full recovery that she’s already planning the future with me as a King instead of Erik, which is scary!” Wille tried to explain

 

“So, basically she wants to put you back in the closet?” Simon wondered, shocked.

 

“Hmm, you could say that. But that will not work. I see that now. I have been miserable all summer without you, Simon,” Wille said, looking down. 

 

“Well, you could just have called or texted me some more. I barely heard from you, Wille. I had no idea what was going on!” Simon sadly said. 

 

“I know, but I was so messed up when I found out about all the stuff with Erik. I was really scared, Simon. And… Mama got into my head,” Wille explained. 

 

“I was scared, too,” Simon said. “I didn’t hear from you for days, Wille. You were ghosting me even though I kept texting you, calling you. You left me all messed up too!”

 

“Sorry,” Wille looked at Simon with his big, brown, puppy eyes. “I wasn’t fair to you about any of this. I was just so scared and Mama and Papa got under my skin and now everything is different,” Wille repeated himself. 

 

“Why is everything different? We are still us? Aren't we?” Simon wondered out loud.

 

“I would like to think so,” Wille said, sending a small smile to Simon. “But I will stay in Stockholm while you go back to Hillerska, and I will still have to fill in for Erik as long as needed while you get to be this awesome rock star, living the life you always wanted.” 

 

Simon smiled at Wille and reached his arm out to ask Wille to join him on the massive bed. 

 

“It’s not my dream anymore if you're not in it too, Wille. I can’t imagine my life without you. It just doesn't exist anymore,” Simon softly said, taking Wille’s hand in his as the prince neared the bed. 

 

“I feel the same, Simon. No matter what my parents think or say, I feel like I’m drowning without you. Sometimes, this summer, it almost felt like I was in physical pain because I wasn’t allowed to reach out to you and just talk with you. It made me realize how important you are to me. How much I rely on you to get by." 

 

"Wille," was the only thing Simon could think to say because they’d had this conversation about them being too reliant on each other. 

Notes:

Any thoughts?
This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.

Chapter 23: Chapter twenty three 

Summary:

It was way too strange and abnormal to walk around the grounds of Hillerska without Wille. He had never really done that before. He felt out of place and almost left behind and that was even though he knew why Wille couldn’t be here. He knew why their contact with each other had gone back to only texting, but he still didn’t like it.

Notes:

Happy Monday everybody <3 I hope you all had an amazing weekend! Big shout out to my beta escapethroughstory – she’s awesome and makes sure all my gramma and spelling is somewhat correct before I post anything. (Really, just look at chapter 1-8 and see how messy those were. That was before she entered)
You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Starting in school again after a vacation was never something Simon had enjoyed. All his life it had felt like he was dragged back to a reality where he always felt he needed to do better than he did. Vacations, on the other hand, had been a welcome break from school, and later on their dysfunctional family lives. Vacation gave him a chance to stay at his friends’ houses for as long as he wanted to without worrying that he had to be back home at a certain time, never sure which state he would find his father in once there. So even though starting school after a vacation always seemed like a drag, starting school after this particular summer vacation was definitely not something Simon was fond of to say the least. 

 

It was way too strange and abnormal to walk around the grounds of Hillerska without Wille. He had never really done that before. He felt out of place and almost left behind and that was even though he knew why Wille couldn’t be here. He knew why their contact with each other had gone back to only texting, but he still didn’t like it. He was used to having Wille by his side from the moment he walked off the bus each morning, when they were sitting together in class, at lunch or just doing homework together after classes either at study hall or at Wille’s dorm. This school year his dorm was taken by some new first year boarder who knew nothing about Wille or where he used to dorm. Simon didn’t like the thought of someone else using Wille’s room, their room, although Wille would have had another room this year had he attended Hillerska too, but the thought of someone else spoiling what felt like their sacred place was sickening him. 

 

Luckily, or actually not, he was not the only Eriksson skulking around Hillerska the first week or so. Sara was also left behind by her boyfriend, August. He had graduated last school year and was now attending some university, Simon had forgotten which one. They had met up throughout the summer vacation, Sara and August, but only at August's estate. August apparently was too busy going back to visit Bjärstad throughout the summer. But Sara hadn’t complained and had happily traveled the long way to see him after she had come back from Spain—much like Simon would have done to be with Wille even if it was only for a short time. He understood why his sister was moody and short tempered; he was too in some ways, but not to the extent Sara was. She was always so much more into her feelings than Simon had ever been. She always showed them so much more and she felt them so much deeper than Simon that she never could hide them from either Linda or Simon, so he knew that she was hurting right now. He just didn’t know why. Sara and August had gone official after the Valentine’s Ball, never actually showing their affection much at school, but people were aware that they were together and that was a start, Simon had thought. 

 

The first day back at school Simon had been met in class by Walter and Henry asking him when Wille would get back to school.

 

"I have no idea, guys," Simon had honestly replied. "We haven't had a lot of time together this summer due to a lot of different things." 

 

"I thought you would have stayed with him when you were in Stockholm. Didn’t you do that? You were like in Stockholm most of the summer, right?" Stella chimed in, walking up hugging Henry from behind before placing a small kiss on his cheek.

 

"No, umm," Simon started not knowing how much he actually wanted to share about his summer. "I basically stayed at this hotel the whole summer. I didn’t get a lot of spare time, making the most out of the time I got in the studio. Wille was on that tour too, so…" 

 

"Makes sense," Frederika said from behind him, shrugging her shoulders. 

 

"But let us just take a moment to appreciate how amazing you look in all your official posts, Simon. You really look like a star!" Maddison praised Simon as she walked towards them together with Felice and Sara. Maddison had been back in the states for most of the summer, so the girls had spared no time catching up on gossip as soon as Sara had set foot in school. As always, Felice acted as their middle man, knowing a little bit about everyone and what they had been doing throughout the summer, her being the social butterfly she always was. 

 

"Stop it," Simon tried to play it cool. "It’s just some stupid PR stuff the studio wanted me to start doing. I didn’t know what I was doing most of the time anyway. I mean, how can pictures of me help me get streams before people know me or my music? I don’t really get it." 

 

"Well, it looks sick," Frederika replied, smiling encouragingly at Simon before finding her seat for class. 

 

Soon after Mr. Englund walked into the class, Simon quickly found out just how much Wille's title had been protecting him the previous year. Now that Wille was nowhere in sight and they allegedly had broken up, Mr. Englund had no remorse correcting Simon in front of the class or bringing him up to the board to solve a question he knew that Simon clearly didn’t know the answer to because they hadn’t covered the topic in class yet. Simon was good at math—he was—but he stood no chance against a teacher who disliked him as much as Mr. Englund did. Mr. Englund was clearly one of those people who had thought that it was Simon who had corrupted the young prince and lured him into a trap just so he could brag about hooking up with the prince. That was all that ran through Simon’s head as he stood by the board having no idea what to do with that stupid problem in front of him. He loathed Mr. Englund for this, for making him feel small and unworthy, and he didn’t have Wille to hold his hand or write soft words to him when he sat back down. He only had himself to keep himself to help keep it together throughout the day. That sudden thought scared Simon so he quickly gave up on solving the problem and just sat down without an explanation to his teacher. Mr. Englund was quick to let the whole class know how disappointed he was that Simon didn’t respect the class enough to even give the problem a try. He mugged Simon about how it probably wasn’t a good idea that he pursued an academic career after all, when he didn’t want to put the work into it.  To put it simply: Mr. Englund was an arse towards Simon in that class.  

 

At lunch Simon didn’t quite know what to do. He couldn’t sit at the very end of the table as he often did last year because he was a second year student now and therefore had to sit in the middle of the long dining table. He didn’t like it one bit. Luckily he was saved by Walter and Henry who dragged him with them to some empty seats and gently placed him there. 

 

“You have to be able to function on your own, you know?” Walter carefully said to Simon.

 

“What do you mean?” Simon asked, feeling put on the spot for his inability to find a place to sit. 

 

Walter and Henry shared a look that Simon didn’t understand.

 

“Okay, so look,” Walter started. “Last year you had Wille to make sure you learned how Hillerska works and stuff. This year he is gone. Like. Vanished into thin air for no reason at all.”

 

“There is a reason, Walter,” Simon quickly added.

 

“Yeah, yeah. The Queen has summoned him and bla, bla, bla,” Henry said while rolling his eyes. “But you’re still here dude! Your life goes on regardless of where Wille is or what he is doing, so you have to start acting like you can handle yourself!”

 

“Yeah!” Walter agreed. “If you don't, the first years will just walk all over you. That would be embarrassing, Simon. Don’t let that happen.” 

 

“Okay,” Simon just said before standing up to get some food. These two boys were giving the worst advice all the time, but maybe they were onto something. It didn’t look like Wille was coming back to school anytime soon, and he didn’t text Simon as often as they used to text each other. Simon had to become self-sufficient here at school, otherwise the rest of his schooling at Hillerska would be a drag.  

 

After classes he went to the stables to meet up with Sara who was helping Stella with her horse. Simon quickly wondered where Felice and her horse were but thought to himself that they probably were out riding in the nice, mild weather. He took a better look around the stables and noticed Frederika, who was sitting at a small stool in a corner, watching Stella and Sara work with the horse.

 

“Hey,” Simon said and placed himself casually up against the wall beside Frederika. 

 

“Hey yourself,” Frederika replied with an absentminded nod.  

 

“Where’s Felice?” Simon asked.

 

“Ohh, she’s not riding anymore so she’s probably at the manor or something. I don’t really know.” 

 

“She’s quit horse riding? When did that happen?” Simon asked, puzzled because he didn’t know anything about this. 

 

“Shortly before the exams last year. Don’t you remember? Sara was all messed up and angry because of it. She acted like it was her horse and not Felice’s horse that got sold,” Frederika informed Simon.

 

Simon didn’t remember anything about this. He had been too caught up in his own head last spring, stressing over exams, Wille, the record deal, and everything else in between. He silently cursed himself for not noticing that Sara had been sad at that time. He knew how much Rousseau had meant to her and how much time she had been spending with that horse. 

 

To cover his own lack of awareness he hurriedly asked Frederika, “What are you doing here then?” 

 

“I ride too, remember?” Frederika smiled at him. “My horse, Idigo, hasn’t arrived yet. She needs to go to the vet tomorrow to get checked up and stuff and then she will be transported to the stables.”

 

“So you are just watching the other girls in a not creepy way at all?” Simon joked. 

 

“Shut up, Simon,” Frederika laughed and gently smacked her hand against his leg. Let’s just say that I’m enjoying the view.”

 

“I bet you are,” Simon teased laughing along with Frederika. 

 

As the days went on and days turned into weeks, Simon got closer to Frederika of all people. It had started with her approaching him, thanking him for everything he and Wille had done for her at the Valentine’s Ball. She was so embarrassed at how drunk she had been that she couldn’t muster the courage to actually thank them for helping her out that night. Simon had said that they were good, and that there was nothing to say thanks for, it was what every decent human being would have done. Frederika claimed that no one else at the school would have done it without spreading rumors about her feelings toward Stella or something equally as stupid and senseless. 

 

Simon

Do you still like her?

 

Frederika

So much. You have no idea.

 

Simon

I think I have…

 

Frederika

Sorry, forgot for a moment who I was texting with. How are you holding up? Being away from Wille for so long and all that?

 

Simon

I don’t know. Nobody has asked me that for a long time. I don’t think I can answer that.

 

Frederika

I think I know what you mean. Like, I get to see and interact with Stella all day, hearing about her oh so big feeling towards Henry and all. I can think of how that hurts me so much each time she brings it up, but I still want to be her friend so I put myself through this miserable existence until the pain inside just becomes an everyday thing that I don’t notice anymore. 

 

Simon

Exactly, I can't even explain how angry and upset I am for Wille that he's expected to take on Erik's responsibilities... It's too much at our age. But Wille just does it because it's his duty or something, and that just doesn't make sense to me. He should get to live his own life, and Wille hates this kind of stuff. The fact that he has to keep away from me is plain ridiculous and it’s like denying that we’ve ever been a thing to start with and it’s just so…. AAARRGG!

 

Simon

But I ignore those feelings in order to get through every day without people noticing how miserable I am. 

 

Frederika

AAARRRGG!!!!

 

Simon

It’s driving me nuts! It’s like we keep pulling back and forth. This summer, the last time I saw him, it was just so good. We talked the way we have always talked, supporting each other and respecting each other, but then after that… I haven’t heard a thing from him!

 

Simon dropped down on his bed feeling on the verge of tears. He missed Wille so much and he didn’t know what to do with that. Frederika somehow understood him to some extent, being heartbroken herself. Her love towards Stella had not disappeared and she was pinning so badly that Simon felt sorry for her. But he was actually still in a relationship with Wille. A real and very loving relationship. He just didn’t hear from Wille. Or see him. Or know anything about him these days, which didn’t seem like things one would say about the person they were in a steady relationship with. But he had to stay strong and get himself together and not let Wille, or the loss of Wille’s proximity, affect him in a negative way.

 

Tomorrow was a big day. After school he would take the train back to Stockholm, meet with the people from the record label, and get ready for a small release party for his very first single! Daniel had invited some of the contacts that Simon had made throughout the summer along with some new names that Simon wasn’t quite familiar with. But it would all be cool, he thought. He couldn’t believe that it was actually his turn to have a single released, that he, from tomorrow at midnight, could say that he was a released artist. People would actually be able to listen to his song everywhere. It was crazy, but it was also so lonely to experience without his Wille there to cheer him on and share every thought he had about this massive milestone with. 

 

It was frightening to know that when he returned to Hillerska the following Monday, the students could hear his single wherever they streamed their music. It was more frightening  not knowing who would have listened to him, who would like his single, and who would make fun of it. He was sure that some of the students at Marieberg would make fun of the song and the context of it, but he had to get through that. It was something he had to get over if he wanted to do this. People would make fun of his songs, make up strange edits or something crazy like that, that wasn’t something that could be prevented. He knew that. The only thing he could do to get through that was playing it cool and acting like it didn’t matter to him. 

 

That night he fell asleep dreaming of Wille and what they were missing. 

 

‘ love you so much, Simon. I will never be away from you this long ever again,’ Wille had whispered into his ears as he was slowly taking Simon apart before putting him back together the way Simon knew only Wille could. He could feel a kiss behind his ear, a hand caressing his own arm, a gentle nip on his Adam's apple, a shuddering breath moving slowly down his body followed by loving, sweet kisses, all for him. Just for him. Always just for him. He could feel how hard Wille was, how their two bodies just fit perfectly together, knowing what to do, where to move and how to adjust to the other. 

 

Wille’s mouth was on his cock, kissing, sucking, teasing, making Simon see stars behind his eyes, making Simon exclaim all kinds of praises towards his attentive boyfriend. Hands were removed from Simon’s body, a lid was being popped open and a slick finger teased him just the right way and at the right spot. His insides were heating up, feeling the soft burn as Wille gently, always so gentle with him, pushed a finger inside Simon. Simon welcomed the feeling, floating in the safety that was Wille, giving himself completely to the feeling of them together. Their love. Their way of saying: I love you forever no matter what. 

 

When he had reached his climax that evening he had been swearing loudly, making Wille laugh and look at him with blissed out eyes full of admiration and love. Those eyes always told Simon what his boyfriend was feeling, always revealed how much Wille loved Simon. When he had come to his senses again after his climax, Simon had wasted no time, switching positions with Wille and showing him just how much he loved his boyfriend. The blonde boy had moved around a bit under him, having problems lying still while Simon had nipped his way down Wille’s body, sucking, licking, kissing, biting every available surface of soft, fair skin he could get ahold of. He made Wille beg for release in a hoarse voice painted with want and need and Simon had finally granted Wille that release, even though he himself would have loved to just worship the body underneath him for hours to come.  

That night they had fallen asleep in each other's arms, neither of them having cleaned themselves after their nighttime activities, too occupied with basking in each other's presence to do anything about the mess they had created together. 

SimonErikssonOfficial In just 16 hours you’ll be able to listen to my very first single “Jag e nån annan.” Who’s excited?! 

 

ThatWOne How can one be so pretty?!

FeliceE SIIIMOOON!!! I can’t wait for everybody to hear how talented you are <3

PinkyBlond You go! I already love you

 

Friday

Friday was the longest school day Simon had ever experienced. He was sure of that. The minutes felt like hours without any end and all he could think about was that in less than a day his single would be out. He had butterflies in his stomach mixed with a healthy portion of excitement and nerves. Everything was so exciting about this, and it didn’t help that his friends were hyping him up in their breaks, cheering him on and telling him that everything would be okay. The deal was that Linda would pick Simon up right after school and drive him to the train station so he could catch an early train to the capital where he would change out of his normal boring school outfit and into something worthy of a pop star. Linda had his overnight bag packed safely in the trunk of her car so everything was going to be alright. That was until Linda texted Simon saying that he had to take an Uber to the station. She had gotten some more work and she couldn’t just leave her patient alone. She just couldn’t. 

 

Simon had cursed everything in both Spanish and Swedish when he read that message, his friends asking what on earth was going on. 

 

Simon didn’t have time to answer them but instead ordered an Uber and then proceeded to make a call. 

 

“Hey, Daniel!” Simon was saying in a sheepish voice. “Look, something came up and I will have to catch an Uber to the station like, now, if I want to catch the train.” Simon listened to what was being said on the other end of the call, his friends looking at him with curious looks. 

 

“Yeah, yeah. I will still be there in time, but umm, maybe I’ll be a bit late. I’ll have to find something to wear. I haven’t got time to get home and grab something to wear if I’m going to make the train on time.” There was another pause where Simon listened. “Oh okay, yeah I’ll call her. Thanks Daniel!” Simon ended the call and proceeded to find another contact in his phone. 

 

“Is everything okay, Simon?” Frederika asked, when nobody else was asking Simon what they really, really wanted to know. 

 

“Yeah. I just need to make a call real quick,” Simon hastily smiled back at his friends before dialing the next number.

 

“Hey, Clara. Did I interrupt anything important?” Simon greeted his musician friend from this summer. “Great, okay umm, so I was wondering if you could help me out? I’m running late here and I’ll be missing something to wear tonight. Can you fix anything for me? Daniel said that you have this really cool friend of yours who can get his hands on literally anything and…” He stopped his rambling as Clara began to speak and nodded frantically with his head while walking hurriedly towards a car that he presumed must be his Uber. “Really?! You're a lifesaver, Clara! Like, thank you so, so much! I’ll send you my sizes okay. See you in a couple of hours!” He then hung up and made sure that the car was in fact the Uber he had ordered before waving to his friends who just stood frozen in place, thrown by how Simon had juggled this very smoothly and professionally. 

SimonErikssonOfficial In just 8 hours my single Jag e nån annan is out everywhere!

 

ThatWOne There are a lot of us who can’t wait! 

 

It annoyed Simon that Wille could take time to comment on his official Instagram post with Wille’s secret, private Instagram account. It actually pissed Simon off because Wille couldn’t find even a second to send a text Simon’s way! Angrily he found his phone and sent a text to Wille. Something he hadn’t done in a while.

 

Simon

Why the fuck can you comment on Insta and not send a single text my way for like two months, Wille! That’s not cool!!!!!

 

He didn’t expect a response. There hadn’t been one for such a long time, so why would Wille respond now. Simon was twisting and turning his phone around in his hands mulling over the loss of contact he had with his boyfriend when he received a text.

 

Wille

Sorry, please don’t be mad at me.

 

Simon

Please don’t be mad?! Wille, what do you expect me to be? Delighted because you haven't been texting me back for months? 

 

Wille

I’m sorry, Simon. But you know how things are with Mama…

 

Simon

I really don't, Wille. The last time we spoke you said that you wouldn’t allow her to get under your skin again and then you just completely vanish out of my life for months. WTF Wille!

 

Wille

I’m sorry, Simon. I really am. How can I make it up to you?

 

Simon

I don’t know, Wille. I guess you could start by texting me like you used to… But I guess you're not allowed to text anybody any longer? 

 

Wille

Well, she’s not happy when I text you. 

 

Simon

What do you mean she’s not happy. You don’t have to tell her.

 

Wille

She has her way of figuring stuff out when she really wants to know what’s going on. I don’t actually know for sure, but I think she has access to my phone or something like that… somehow. I don’t know. It’s probably stupid. 

 

Simon

That’s so messed up that I don’t even know where to start, Wille. 

 

Wille

I know. She kind of brought up some pretty personal stuff that only you and I knew about and then I panicked and thought it would be better to just stop contacting you. 

 

Simon

And I didn’t get to have a say in that?

 

Wille

I didn’t want to bother you with this when everything is going so well for you right now

 

Simon

I feel like we have talked about this before, Wille. You can’t make decisions like this without me. We were supposed to be in this together…

 

Wille

I know, and I feel so stupid now for admitting this, but I really thought that I was protecting you from her. 

 

Simon

Wille, I already had a very awkward and uncomfortable talk with her about our sex life while eating dinner. I don’t think anything she throws at me can be worse than that. 

 

Wille

I’m sorry about that too. I’m sorry about so many things, Simon.

 

Simon

Wille, love… You have to get out of that palace. It’s messing so much with your head without you seeing it. 

 

Wille

I know. I’ll figure something out eventually. Would you tell me about today? What’s going to happen when you become a pop star overnight?  

 

Simon

I don’t really know. The record label is throwing this release party where a lot of cool people from the industry might attend and yeah, then I guess I’ll have to do some PR and stuff like that. Daniel was talking about getting me an interview in that  morning program on tv, you know. The one Mama’s always watching.

 

Wille

That sounds really awesome, Simon. I’m glad that you have some good people around you for this journey. 

 

Simon

Yeah, me too. I just miss one person by my side more than anyone else. 

 

Wille

I know. I’m sorry, Simon.

 

The train was nearing the end station so Simon put down his phone and tried to get ahold of himself as well as his stuff. Even though he didn’t have his overnight bag with him he still had his school bag to pack together again after the train ride. He had tried to get some schoolwork done, knowing his weekend would be a busy one, but he had forgotten everything about it when Wille had reacted to his Instagram post. It was unbelievable that after the way Wille had treated him the past few months, Simon still forgave Wille in an instant, knowing what Wille was dealing with at home. Simon always gave people he cared about a second chance and Wille was just not someone he cared about. He was someone he loved deeply so he would probably get as many chances as he asked for because Simon couldn’t see himself loving anyone else but Wille. 

 

Outside at the station he quickly spotted Clara who was waving at him happily. He walked towards her with fast steps, throwing himself into her arms and hugging her tightly. 

 

“Hey, sweetie pie!” Clara said, smiling at him. “Ready for your big night?” 

 

Simon just nodded and followed her to the Metro that would take them where they were going. Well, Simon didn’t know where that was, but he guessed that Clara knew where they were going. 

 

“I called in a favor from the stylist that did all my clothing for the latest music video I’ve been shooting this summer and he fixed me up with some pretty dope clothing. It’s all back at my place so I guess we are going there. Is that okay?” Clara spoke quickly and quietly so Simon had to strain his ears to listen to what she had to say. 

 

“Sure, anything is better than what I've been wearing the whole day at school,” Simon replied, sitting down on a free seat in the metro. “I thought Daniel would pick me up,” Simon then continued. 

 

“Yeah, he was supposed to  but apparently he got some last minute thing he needed to take care of so he asked if I would help out.” Clara explained. 

 

Simon looked puzzled. Last time he checked Clara was an artist like him, not an assistant or anything like that. “But why did he ask you? He could just tell me to get to the hotel by myself. It wouldn’t have been a problem,” Simon said to his blonde friend. 

 

“Well, I guess he knows that we are friends, and I don’t know, maybe the two of us being seen together is good PR or something like that. You know how he always cares so much about the PR,” Clara said looking out the window. 

 

“True,” Simon agreed and let it be. 

 

Clara’s stylist friend had done an amazing job gathering some clothes that would go well together. Clara and Simon just had to find what would look the best on Simon—something Clara claimed wouldn’t be a problem because everything would look good on Simon. Simon just laughed at her, not knowing how to take that compliment and they went to work with what they had. In the end, they came up with a pretty decent look that Simon himself liked very much. Then Clara got ready and together they took a cab to the record label where the small party would be taking place. 

 

When they arrived and walked into the studio Daniel was already there together with Tilde, now sporting a small pregnant tummy, and Eva. All of them greeted each other like old friends and got ready to welcome the invited guests. Soon the lounge area was filled with the coolest people Simon had ever been in a room with. He didn’t think anything special of Wille’s family, so they were easily overshadowed by the lineup for this party. Simon did his best to socialize, have small talk, be funny, and create connections. There were some hired press photographers who shot pictures of them throughout the night, but it didn’t bother Simon. This felt like a controlled setting, people being nice and professional  towards each other, eating the small canapés that were served for the night and sipping on different drinks. Simon almost forgot his nerves and it was only when Clara moved towards him, intertwining their arms that he noticed just how nervous he was. 

 

“Ready?” Clara whispered in his ear. “Only 5 minutes left!” 

 

Simon smiled and hugged her in a tight embrace. 

 

“I am so nervous, Clara. Like…OMG!” he admitted, whispering into her ear. “What if nobody likes it?” 

 

“You worry too much, Simon,” Clara said and pulled back a bit from their embrace. “It will all be just fine. Trust me!” 

 

They stood together as the countdown was made and then the clock struck midnight and his song was blasted from the speakers in the studio. 

 

First hour, didn't know who you were

But I soon realized it was something you wanted

Not someone you usually prefer

But there was something in what you said

We started to vibe, but it got a little crooked

Shouldn't lie, but thought it was hot

Can't explain, but it just felt right

Because there was something in what you said

Oh-whoa-whoa

No one else here for me

Oh-whoa-whoa

You know it's the same for you

 

Simon suddenly froze, feeling a pair of arms wrapping themself around him, a soft whisper in his ears throwing him off balance, making him lose his sense of reality for a moment. 

 

“Congratulations on your first single, love,” the voice whispered into Simon’s ear, ending the sentence with a small kiss behind the ear. 

 

Simon spun around not believing what he had just heard, making Clara draw back a bit. 

 

“OMG! Wille,” Simon said breathless before throwing himself into Wille’s arms, making Wille stumble back a bit. 

 

No one has ever made me feel like this

We started talking, then there was no one else there

It usually doesn't go so easy for me, I swear

How the hell did you end up here?

Know you're nervous, it's your very first time

But you can be calm, won't tell anyone

We can be lowkey (lowkey, lowkey)

We can be lowkey until it's just the two of us

 

“The song is a bit personal, don’t you think?” Wille smiled into Simon’s curls. 

 

“No one knows it’s about you, Wille. Everybody thinks that we’re broken up,” Simon mumbled back at him, too busy breathing in the scent of his boyfriend to notice Wille’s wide smile. 

 

“I think people will know tomorrow, though,” Wille said, moving Simon away from him a tiny bit before kissing his lips gently. 

 

“What do you mean?” Simon asked, confused.

 

“Hmm, Daniel didn’t mention that there would be this many people or a photographer here,” Wille explained. 

 

“Daniel knew you were coming?” Simon asked bemusedly, looking around to find Daniel standing besides Tilde, smiling wickedly at them. 

 

“Mmmhmm,” Wille mumbled before throwing himself over Simon again, hugging him from behind and placing small kisses on his jawline and cheeks. “I had my people call him and let him know that I would be attending this party too. My people had to clear the building before I could come through, and it all was kind of last-minute, so…” Wille trailed off, hugging Simon tighter. 

 

“I can’t believe this!” Simon only said, a big smile on his lips as his song, his song, was nearing its end. This was everything that he had dreamed of and on top of that Wille was there with him. 

 

After getting his sense of reality back, Simon noticed that many of the people were looking at them, like they were always looked at, and he decided that now would be a good idea to introduce Wille to some of the people. He would start with Clara, though. Clara would be a safe start. With his mind set he slowly untangled himself from Wille, to Wille’s great displeasure, and led him towards Clara who had moved away from the boys to give them some privacy.  

 

“Hey Clara, umm,” Simon started not quite knowing what to say. “So yeah, this is Wille.” He opted to say gesturing awkwardly towards Wille. 

 

As always, Wille was quick to recover his manners and stretched his hand out to greet Clara. 

 

“Hello, lovely to meet you,” Wille started sending her a charming smile. “I’m such a huge fan. I listened to “Terrier” all summer!” 

 

Simon looked at Wille and saw him blushing slightly. Was he losing his shit because of Clara? Wille, who was used to meeting all kinds of different people by now, was getting all nervous and flustered because of Clara? Simon found that highly amusing and stepped on his tip-toes so he could whisper into Wille’s ears.

 

“Are you fangirling over Clara?” he whispered so low that only the two of them were able to hear what was being said. 

 

Wille turned his head so quickly that he almost knocked Simon out, but luckily he missed and looked at him with panicked eyes. “Shut up!” he muttered, growing even more red in the face. 

 

“Whatever,” Simon just laughed. “I’ll leave the two of you alone to gossip to each other. I think I need to go speak to Daniel,” Simon said and sent a smile towards Wille before winking at Clara. Then he quickly kissed Wille on the cheek and turned around to find Daniel and Tilde. 

 

Sunday

 

Is Prince Wilhelm Going to Withstand Temptation?

 

Friday night the much-discussed musician and singer, Simon Eriksson, released his first official single. For the occasion a big release party was thrown, where none other than Prince Wilhelm attended. Even though the boys’ love affair seemingly ended a while ago, the two boys have been spotted together in Stockholm seemingly still close to each other. But is this friendship any good for our future King of Sweden? 

 

Close sources from the court say that Prince Wilhelm is devoting all his time to his studies and upholding the responsibilities that his brother, Crown Prince Erik, had before his accident back in June. “Prince Wilhelm is doing everything he can to maintain the high standards that the Crown Prince is known for and has decided not to be in any romantic relationships at this moment. Right now his attention is towards his family and his duties towards his country,” the source tells us. 

Pictures rarely lie, and this one clearly tells us that there is still a close connection between the two boys who last school year had a heated, but quick romance. It seems unlikely that they’ve yet again thrown themselves into a romantic relationship given their busy lives and commitments to their respective jobs. 

 

Simon Eriksson has been spotted together with Clara this weekend just like he was throughout the summer, so maybe there is a blossoming romance happening there that we are yet to discover. 

 

Clara had taken Wille by storm. All weekend Wille was talking about Clara, how talented she was, how good looking she was, how sweet she had been, and how amazing everything she did was. If Simon didn’t know that Clara was very much in a relationship he would have been a bit afraid of her stealing Wille from him. He knew Wille liked girls too, he knew that it would be so much easier if he had just fallen in love with a girl and not a boy, but it hadn’t bothered him until this weekend. 

 

Simon was laying in bed in his hotel room. Wille was softly snoring beside him. They had spent as much of the weekend together as they could, which turned out to only be Friday evening, Saturday evening, and now Sunday morning. Wille was truly busy with keeping up with school and the commitments he had taken on Erik’s behalf. He worked so much and slept way too little.

 

Saturday had been a mess. Wille had called him on his way to a fundraising event talking about how mad his mother had been over an article that was written overnight. Someone had been snapping pictures of them hugging each other at the release party and now it was all over the press. Neither Simon or Wille had been that affected by the article, only the Queen was furious about that. Apparently it was negative PR. Wille had had a huge argument with her Saturday morning, which had resulted in her forbidding Wille to see Simon again. Wille had apparently blankly refused and left in the middle of breakfast. He hadn’t been home ever since. Right after the fundraising event he’d been driven to Simon’s hotel where the two boys had hung out the entire evening, eating pizza and watching some lame show on TV. It was nothing big or grand, just them being boys. It was that evening Wille had begun talking about Clara and how amazing she was. At first Simon had found it sweet and even cute, but as Wille’s rambling went on he couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous of how Wille was talking about Clara like she had hung the moon. 

 

Simon had never considered that Wille would fall in love with another person, but what if that was what he was doing right now? Simon witnessed it all, but he had no control over the situation or the outcome. Logicly he knew it would become so much easier for Wille if he would just fall in love with a girl. A girl was something the Royal Court knew how to handle and how to spin a story with. Simon, being a boy, had been something completely new to the Court and no one had been prepared for what had followed when Wille told the world that he was in love with a boy. Maybe it was best for Wille to be in love with a girl. Then he could go back to being on speaking terms with his parents again and he could be a good crown prince and… 

 

“You are thinking too loud, love” Wille mumbled down into the pillow, reaching a hand out blindly to try and get a hold of Simon. 

 

“Sorry, just got a lot on my mind I guess,” Simon sighed, leaning back towards Wille, spooning him from behind. 

 

“Mmm, been a big weekend for you,” Wille said, turning around. “Let me take care of that busy brain of yours.” Wille started kissing Simon, and Simon let him. Getting lost in the feeling of them and their love and everything good. 

ThatWOne Apparently my boyfriend is dating a girl now…. That is  if you believe what the tabloids are saying!

 

FeliceE WHAT? Please say that is a bad joke!


SimonErikssonOfficial thank you so much for streaming my debut single! I love you all <3 


ClaraTheRealOne And we love you toooo <3

Notes:

This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.

Chapter 24: Chapter twenty Four

Summary:

He was done feeling like a victim all the time. Now was the time to stand up for himself and prove what he was made of. He needed to prove that to himself, to Wille, Wille’s family, and to the people involved with his music. 

Notes:

Apparently I don't know the numbers, so I accidently switched up chapter 24 and 25... So here is the right chapter 24...ups...
Hello! Just a nice, sweet chapter to get you through the weekend. I’ve been having the worst week possible, and I can’t wait for it to be over. I hope all of you had a much better week! You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

The train ride home was as tedious as always. Simon was in a strange mood where he felt everything simultaneously. He was drained of energy due to all his commitments that weekend. He was happy because he had seen Wille again that weekend, but he looked forward to coming back home to his own bed, and to his mother and Sara so that he could tell them everything about the party and everything that followed. He had been introduced to so many people and had made so many new contacts that it made him dizzy just thinking about how he was supposed to stay in touch and nurture those new contacts. His song was already being played at radio stations and he was booked for interviews. Daniel had made sure of that even before the single was out. If the real reason for his fast bookings was his connection to Wille he didn’t really care. The bookings gave him a chance to promote his music and himself. His connection to Wille could be used for something good instead of just sharing gossip about Sweden’s youngest prince. Half a year ago Simon would have been disgusted by this (being booked for an interview because of Wille), but he had reached a point where he had accepted that his involvement with Wille would follow him around no matter what, so he might as well make good use of that and promote his music.  

 

He was done feeling like a victim all the time. Now was the time to stand up for himself and prove what he was made of. He needed to prove that to himself, to Wille, Wille’s family, and to the people involved with his music. 

 

His phone vibrated.

 

Sara

Are you busy? 

 

Simon

I’m riding a train, Sara. I have literally nothing to do….

 

Sara

Can we talk?

 

Simon

Sure, what’s on your mind?

 

Sara

Please just promise me not to tell Mama

 

Simon

Sara, what have you done?

 

Sara

Simon, I need you to promise me! This is important.

 

Simon

Okay, I promise. But you are scaring me right now, Sara.

 

Sara

It’s just, I can’t say this to anyone else.

 

Simon

Have you been seeing dad? 

 

Sara

What? NO! Of course not. Have you? 

 

Simon

No, you know that! I would never go to him after what he’s done to us.  

 

Sara

Okay, just checking. 

 

Simon

Okay, so… What’s on your mind? 

 

Sara

I really don’t know how to say this, Simon. It’s so fucked up.

 

Simon

Just spill it, Sara.

 

Sara

I’m pretty sure that I’m pregnant… 

 

Simon

What! Are you serious?

 

Sara

Don’t be mad at me, Simon. I didn’t mean to.

 

Simon

I’m not mad, just… digesting it. Are you sure? 

 

Sara

I haven’t had my period for two months, Simon.

 

Simon

Ohhh, I’m definitely not the right one to speak with about this, Sara. Like… Can’t it just be late or something? 

 

Sara

NOT  FOR TWO MONTHS!!

 

Simon

Jesus, sorry. I don’t know shit about all of that! Excuse me for not googling menstruation cycles and reading up on that on the regular. I’ll start from now on, though…

 

Sara

Shut up Simon! Now is not the time to be funny.

 

Simon

Yeah, okay. Sorry. How long have you known?

 

Sara

Like, for a while I guess. Got suspicious when I didn’t get my period on time. 

 

Simon

What do you want to do?

 

Sara

I don’t know. I tried horseback riding.

 

Simon

What? Why?

 

Sara

I read that horseback riding could cause miscarriages so I have been riding Indigo a lot. 

 

Simon

Omg, Sara. You need to see a doctor, not try horseback riding. What were you thinking? 

 

Sara

But I’m so scared, Simon. What if it’s actually real? 

 

Simon

Haven’t you taken a home test? 

 

Sara

No…

 

Simon

I think that you need to do that for starters. Like tomorrow or something. Mama’s working late tomorrow so it will just be the two of us at home. 

 

Sara

I don’t want to pee on a stick, Simon

 

Simon

What do you want then? How do you want to handle this then?

 

Sara

I don’t know. I’m just so scared, Simon. And I can’t really talk to anyone about this. Not even Felice. They would just judge me at school. You know how it is at Hillerska. 

 

Simon

Okay, umm. I’ll be home in an hour or so and then we can talk or watch a movie or something, okay? You are not alone, Sara. <3

 

Sara

Thank you, Simon.

 

 

Simon looked at his phone. How could his life even become more eventful than it already was? He was dating a prince, he had his first single release just two days prior - what could top that? Leave it to Sara to make that happen. He twisted his phone in his hands, pondering what to do. He really felt like it was something their mother should know about, but he had promised Sara not to tell anyone, so he probably shouldn’t tell her. At least not for now. She needed to know at some point. He also longed to tell Wille about this. He discussed everything with him, but then again, he had promised Sara not to tell anybody, and that included Wille too. 

 

After a long time spent looking at the landscape passing by the train, trying to sort out his many thoughts, he finally decided what to do. 

 

On his way home to their house he stopped by a small supermarket and bought a pregnancy test for Sara. It was by far one of the strangest and most uncomfortable shopping trips he had made. The cashier was well aware of who he was. Or rather who he had (was still) dating, and when she saw the pregnancy test in Simon’s hand, her eyes grew so wide that Simon almost thought they would pop out of her head. What he would do for his sister…

 

The Queen would most likely have his head if she ever found out that he had bought this by himself in a store where everybody knew him, but he didn’t care. She didn’t even want Wille to be associated with him. Why should Simon then care about her stupid rules? What was a threat by the Queen compared to making his sister feel less alone in this? He knew where he stood on that. 

 

“Hey, Mama. Hey, Sara!” Simon yelled as soon as he stepped into their house, dropping his bag by the shoe shelf and hanging his jacket on the rack. He hurried into the living room where Linda was sitting on the sofa reading a book looking quite cozy. 

 

“Hello, mi amor” she greeted him. Simon walked over to her and hugged her quickly before placing a kiss on her cheek. He’d missed her this weekend—missed all the things he had wanted to share with her, but couldn’t. 

 

“How was your weekend?” she smiled at him. 

 

“It was amazing, Mama,” Simon said smiling at her. “The release party, the comments, the people. Everything was just so… ahhh.” He dropped down beside her and tried to contain his smile, but had a hard time due to feeling too ecstatic. He kept running his hands through his hair with nervous energy, making it an even bigger mess than it already was. 

 

“I’m so proud of you, Simon. All the work you have put into this to make your dream come true has been amazing!” Linda said. “And I see that Wilhelm was at the party, too?” she asked even though she knew the answer perfectly well. 

 

“He was,” Simon smiled. 

 

“And?” Linda kept looking at him with knowing eyes. 

 

“And nothing. He was there. It was nice. We hung out Friday night and Sunday morning before I had to take the train. It was all good, Mama,” Simon replied, rolling his eyes. 

 

“But are you two good?” Linda kept pushing. “You never speak of him anymore. Not after his brother’s accident.” 

 

“We are okay, I guess,” Simon admitted. “It’s just hard. Balancing school, music, and Wille, while he’s locked up in Stockholm doing God knows what. It’s not the same as having him right here and seeing him every day, you know?” 

 

“Simon,” Linda sighed, gesturing for him to come closer to her. “Sometimes love doesn’t go the way we want it to. Sometimes you can love a person as you’ve never loved anybody, but that doesn’t mean that it is the best for everyone. And it doesn’t mean that it won't hurt you as much as it makes you happy. But being together with a person should not feel like a tedious task, something that you have to do. It should be something that you enjoy regardless of the obstacles that will occur along the way.” 

 

“Wille doesn’t hurt me, Mama,” Simon said, only lying a bit. “It’s not always great, but we’ll manage the best we can as things are now. And it’s just while Erik is in the hospital. Everything will go back to normal once he’s well again.” 

 

They both knew Simon was lying—that he and Wille had had many struggles lately and that the chances of Erik waking up feeling perfectly fine was, well not looking good the longer time went on. Linda was a nurse, after all, so she knew something about healthcare and medical issues—more than the average person at least. It has been almost four months now, since the accident. If he was to wake up now, he would need a lot of rehabilitation.

 

“I’ll go find Sara,” Simon said and moved away from the sofa suddenly feeling drained of the bodily energy he had had just moments before. Thinking about Wille, that he was not at Hillerska anymore, that they didn’t get to see each other every day anymore was hurting him too much. He walked towards Sara's room. She needed him right now, so he would ignore his problems with Wille for the time being. This was much more urgent. 

 

Simon found Sara in her room, lying in bed, curtains drawn, the room dark. It almost reminded Simon of his hiding place back in January where everything had been so awful that he couldn’t keep up with the world around him. Carefully, as not to frighten her, he sat down on her bed, crossed his legs, and looked at her seriously. 

 

“Hey, Simon,” Sara said from underneath her duvet. 

 

“Hey, Sara. How are you?” Simon replied, feeling stupid for asking. 

 

“Not that great,” Sara mumbled, turning around to look at Simon. “How was your weekend?” 

 

“We can talk about that later, Saranito,” Simon said lovingly, placing his hand on her arm, and stroking it to support her. 

 

Sara nodded, trying to hold back the tears that were about to spill. 

 

“Does August know?” Simon then asked when it was clear Sara wasn’t going to say anything else. 

 

She shook her head, tears finally rolling down her cheeks. She looked so small and fragile lying there all tucked up in the duvet, her hair falling around her in dark brown cascades. 

 

“Ohh, Sara,” Simon said before hugging her tightly. “What can I do for you? How can I help? What do you need?”

 

“I don’t know, Simon. I don’t know what to do. I’m just so confused and frightened, and, and, and,” Sara whispered in between cries. 

 

“Okay, just hear me out okay?” Simon tentatively said, looking at Sara. When she nodded he continued. 

 

“I bought a test on my way home today.” He looked at her carefully and could see how frightened she was by this, but he pushed on; she needed to hear this, and he needed to take the lead because Sara was obviously not in a state where she could do that herself right now. “And tomorrow when we are alone after school you’re going to take the test. No protesting or anything. You need to be sure. You have to do that, okay? And then you have to tell August. As much as I don’t like him, it’s the right thing to tell him what’s going on. He should know about this so you can go through this together. And when we have the result of the test we can talk about what’s supposed to happen then and who’s going to tell Mama. I’m with you all the way, Sara, but this is what needs to happen now.” 

 

She let out a huff and pulled Simon with her down into the bed before she curled her arms around herself in a protective manner, looking Simon in his eyes. 

 

“I just can’t believe that I could be that stupid, Simon. It just happened. It was just once,” she sulked.

 

“There’s no reason to beat yourself up for this now, Sara. We’ll handle whatever outcome there is,” Simon said before closing his eyes and enjoying the silence in the room for a while. They both ended up falling asleep in Sara’s bed as they had done so many times before when they were younger and sought out each other's comfort and closeness.  

 

Monday

 

Wille

Hello, love.

 

Simon

Wille? Hey <3

 

Wille

Sleep well?

 

Simon

It was okay I guess. You?

 

Wille

I umm, didn’t sleep.

 

Simon

Is it your mother?

 

Wille

Yeah, she was furious about this weekend. Says that I try to ruin our reputation on purpose or out of spite or something like that. I don’t get her.

 

Simon

Me neither. Does it really matter that much whether you're just a prince or an actual crown prince when it comes to who you’re dating? 

 

Wille

Apparently it does for her. We had a huge fall out last night. 

 

Simon

Ohh, that’s why you couldn’t sleep?

 

Wille

Part of it yeah. I said some awful things to her that I shouldn’t have.

 

Simon

Like what?

 

Wille

I might have called her homophobic, saying she couldn’t decide who I choose to love. 

 

Simon

OMG, Wille…

 

Wille

And I might have told her that I didn’t want to be the crown prince or king if I couldn’t be with you, that she would lose both her children if she or anyone else kept trying to keep me away from you and deny you…

 

Simon

I know this isn’t the right thing to say in this moment, but I feel so loved right now, Wille.

 

Wille

You are<3

 

“Simon! You have to follow along like all the other students if you will be a part of this choir!” a female voice cut through. 

 

Simon looked up from his phone confused, having forgotten when and where he was. 

 

“Sorry,” Simon mumbled before putting away his phone. 

 

He had been in the middle of choir rehearsals when his phone had vibrated and he just needed to check it in case it was Sara or Wille, but he always hoped it was Wille who texted him.

 

“Now, let’s try this again. This time everybody’s participating in the ensemble,” she said looking pointedly at Simon, who smiled back at her sheepishly feeling put on the spot. 

 

After choir practice, Simon walked together with Felice, talking about nothing in particular when a short blonde girl walked up to them. Simon didn’t know her name but knew that she was a first-year student and new to the choir. He had just forgotten her name.  

 

“Hello, Maria,” Felice happily greeted her. Apparently, Felice hadn’t forgotten her name. The blonde girl looked at Simon with weird eyes that kind of freaked Simon out a bit. Simon didn’t know what to say. How did that girl know him? He was sure they hadn’t been introduced to each other before. 

 

“Hey…” Simon then replied. “How are you settling in at Hillerska?” 

 

“Ohh, umm,” Did the girl blush? “I love Hillerska! Everyone is just being super nice and stuff. So, cool, you know?” She looked at him with big eyes. Simon looked at Felice not knowing what was up with this girl. Felice only sent him a teasing smile like she knew exactly what was up with her. 

 

“Umm, that’s great I guess,” Simon said.

 

“I always felt like I belonged here, like you know… This was the place for me. Like this is where I can find a missing piece of myself and become whole!” The girl, Maria, went on looking directly at Simon. 

 

“Ohh yeah, that’s great” Simon mumbled. He felt his phone going off in his pocket and quickly looked at it to see that it was Wille who was calling him. “Sorry, I have to take this! Talk to you later Felice!” he hurriedly said, mostly to Felice before leaving the two girls alone to take the call. 

 

“Wille? Is everything okay?” Simon asked frantically when picking up the phone. 

“Simon, I’m so relieved to hear your voice. I’m freaking out right now and I don’t know what to do!” Wille complained to Simon.

 

“What’s going on?” Simon plainly asked before adding, “remember to breathe properly, Wille. Do not panic.” 

 

He could hear Wille take some deep breaths before he continued. “They have called from the hospital.”

 

With that, a thousand thoughts ran through Simon’s head. Was Erik dead? Had he gone into an even worse coma? Did different types of comas exist? What was a coma, even? Was Wille the next crown prince for real now? Was Wille okay?

 

“Simon, they think he’s waking up…” The line became silent; the only thing that could be heard was Wille’s careful and measured breathing. 

 

“Are you for real? Is he really waking up? This is great, Wille. Right?” Simon suddenly doubted whether it was a good thing or not. 

 

“That’s what we are about to find out. We are on our way to the hospital now, Mama, Papa, and I. I just, I am so nervous, Simon” Wille tried to explain.

 

“Yeah, that’s understandable. So, you know nothing about his condition as of now?” Simon asked, wondering if the Queen was sitting in the same car as Wille. 

 

“No, not me at least. I don’t know about Mama and Papa. They drove off before me” Wille answered, anticipating Simon’s question. 

 

“Why didn’t you drive together?” Simon asked, seeing it strange to take two different cars from the same destination to the same destination.

 

“We can’t. The ruling monarch and the next in line need to take different types of transport in case one of them will die. I know, I know. It sounds kind of silly, but like. If Mama and Papa were to crash,” like Erik, it went unsaid, “and die, then the next in line would be able to take over the throne without any complications and so on. Mama and Papa never fly together with Erik too. It’s just one of those things, you know” Wille explained. 

 

“Well, I know that now. Didn’t give it much thought before now, to be honest” Simon said, feeling stupid for not knowing. 

 

“Yeah, so. I’m just really nervous about everything right now” Wille carefully said, sounding small all of a sudden. “I wish you were here with me for this.”

 

“I wish I could be there for you too, Wille. I really do, but that's not the case right now, so you have to be strong for yourself now” Simon said. It was the same mantra he had used throughout the summer. Be strong for yourself. 

 

“Yeah, okay” Wille simply said. “I’m almost there. I should probably end the call, I just don’t want to, you know?”

 

“I know, but you have to go and be with your family now, Wille” Simon tried to calm him. 

 

“You're my family too, Simon. You’re my home. I love you so much!” Wille poetically said, taking Simon’s breath away. 

 

“God, Wille! You can’t just say stuff like that! Go, see your brother. I love you!” Simon said before ending the call with Wille. He needed to go see some family too. He needed to be there for his own sister who was probably scared shitless right now. 

 

He could see her sitting all jittery at the bus stop looking frantically at her phone, spinning it around in her hands like Simon often did. They greeted each other with a short nod but otherwise didn’t say anything until they were safely home in their house.

 

“How long do you have to wait?” Simon asked when Sara walked out of the bathroom. 

 

“5 minutes, the box says,” Sara replied in a small voice, taking the tea mug Simon had made for her and was now handing her. Peppermint and licorice, her comfort tea.

 

“Okay,” Simon said before placing himself on the sofa. “Want to watch a show or something?” 

 

Sara dropped down next to Simon, taking the remote from his hand to choose a show on Netflix they could watch without actually having to follow along at all. Sara sipped her tea absentmindedly.

SimonErikssonOfficial How's your Monday going? Thank you so much for streaming Jag å non annan. It means the world to me <3 

 

PinkyBlond I’m in love and there is nothing to do! You’re to die for, Simon<3<3<3<3<3

Hamburgesa Obsessed!

ThatWOne <3

+162 more comments

 

“Time,” Sara said and walked out into the bathroom again to have a look at the test when the alarm from her phone went off. Simon had stayed behind on the sofa, wanting to give Sara some privacy and all. That was until he heard Sara cry out his name and he quickly walked toward the bathroom too to see what was the matter. 

 

Sara was covering her mouth with her hand, the other one holding the test in a shaky hold. Simon went over to her and carefully looked at the test before wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. 

 

“Ohh, Sara” he sighed into her hair, feeling how she fell apart in his arms. “You have to tell August and Mama. They need to know Sara. It’s for real now.” 

 

“I know, I know,” Sara cried into his arms, losing the test from her grip as it fell down on the floor. “I just. I… I just need a moment and then I’ll call him. I can do this, Simon.”  

 

“Okay, take all the time you need, Sara. Anything I can do?” Simon hesitantly asked his sister. 

 

She shook her head vigorously, taking in some deep breaths before she marched towards her room, leaving Simon in the bathroom to take it all in. Sara was pregnant. She really was. He couldn’t quite believe it, but the test was right there on the floor. And it was positive. No doubt. Sara was pregnant.  

 

He sighed and left the bathroom to venture into his own room knowing this would be an emotional week for all of them. 

 

Clara

I have the best idea ever!

 

Simon

Hey, Clara. I’m somewhat good. Thanks for asking

 

Clara

We should do a collab!

 

Simon

What?

 

Clara

Just think about it! It would be so much fun! I would like to come to visit you or something and we’ll work on some lyrics together and when we are satisfied will pitch the idea to Daniel. 

 

Simon

What if he doesn't like it?

 

Clara

Well, then we have spent a lot of time together. What an awful thing!

 

Simon

Sometimes you’re just too stupid….

 

Clara

But is it something we should do? I would love to see that posh school of yours too! 

 

Simon

Sure, okay. Let’s try. It sounds fun.

 

Clara

And I can stay at your place and meet Sara and your mother. It will be so awesome, Simon!

 

Simon

Yeah, sure. Let’s figure something out!

 

Simon had been the one to quickly cook some pasta for their supper, leaving leftovers for Linda to eat when she got home later that evening. Sara was still talking with August when supper was ready, so he tidied up the kitchen and made sure everything was cleaned before they ate. They didn’t say much to each other while eating, Sara kept looking at her phone and so did Simon. Sara had asked Simon to let her tell Linda herself about the pregnancy so when the two Erikkson children had eaten the food and sorted out the leftovers for Linda, he went into his bedroom again, leaving Sara in the living room waiting for their mother. She would be home around 9.30 pm so it wouldn’t be that late. 

 

He could hear the moment she was home, opening and closing their front door calling a soft greeting through the silent house. He didn’t want to eavesdrop so he turned his attention elsewhere. Not feeling like gaming right now he opted to use his phone.

He scrolled through his phone looking at different news and stuff when a headline caught his attention:

 

Crown Prince Erik has awoken!

 

The Crown Prince who has been in a coma since his accident on June the 6th is now slowly waking up, a spokesperson from the Royal Court announced this evening. The Crown Prince was severely injured while driving home from some festivities he had participated in when his car violently collided with a truck. 

 

The Crown Prince was rushed to the hospital where it was confirmed that he was in a coma. Nothing has been said about his condition since, but now the court lets us in on some of the things that have been occurring with our beloved prince. 

The Crown Prince needed artificial respiratory support since he was admitted and placed in intensive care.His vitals such as blood pressure, heart rate, and body temperature have been monitored constantly as it should be with these types of patients. Furthermore, the Crown Prince has had a feeding tube to receive adequate nutrition. As of his state right now, we know very little but patients waking up from a coma may continue to face some difficulties such as limitations in mobility as well as the inability to speak normally or recall certain memories. Such patients will need physical therapy, occupational therapy, or both.

Since the Crown Prince’s hospitalization Prince Wilhelm has been filling in for the work that our Crown Prince normally does while simultaneously studying as a second year student in gymnasium. Prince Wilhelm has made the decision to take leave from the prestigious boarding school, Hillerska, that he attended last school year in order to be closer to his family in the troubled times that they have gone through this summer.

 

The door to Simon’s room opened just as he was about to call Wille. It was Linda standing in the door looking tired and worn. 

 

“Hey, Mama,” Simon said, trying to smile.

 

“Hello, Simon,” Linda said and walked into his room, placing herself on the side of his bed. “Thank you, for helping Sara. You didn't need to do that.” 

 

“But she’s my sister. What else was I supposed to do?” Simon asked. 

 

Linda hugged him before saying, “You are such a good boy, Simon. I’m so, so proud of you and the way you’ve turned out.” 

 

“Thanks, Mama” Simon blushed. “So, what’s going to happen with Sara now?”

 

“Oh, well… Tomorrow she’s going to call the doctor and set up an appointment” Linda started. “Then I’ll go with her to the doctor and we’ll take it from there. As much as she is hurting right now I do believe that she wants to keep the baby. August too by the way. So we just have to support that decision.”

 

“But you don't like it?” Simon asked carefully. 

 

“I don’t,” Linda agreed. “Sara is only 18 but she is still so young in many ways. She has had it so hard before and I’m afraid that this, having a child, will break her down completely. And I’m not sure about August either. How much he will be involved in all of this?” 

 

Simon looked at her with a crooked eyebrow. “Ohh, don’t give me that look, Simon. I know you don’t like him, but he is Sara’s boyfriend after all” Linda reminded him. “He is young too, and full of ambition and whatever it is that Sara sees in him. He just doesn’t seem like a father figure to me, you know. But she says that they are set on this—on keeping the baby and staying together, so that’s how it’ll be.” 

 

“Okay…” Simon said, not feeling that this was the moment to do anything other than just agree and listen. This quickly became one hell of a school year for this family. 

 

Tuesday

 

“Hey, Simon” a small voice was heard when he walked through the school together with Frederika to find a place to sit for study hall. 

 

“Umm, hello, Maria” Simon said, sending an awkward little wave her way. 

 

“Can I sit with you?” Maria asked, completely ignoring the group of people she was standing with. 

 

“Umm, well” Frederika tried to say, but was interrupted by Maria before she could get another word in. “Perfect! I’ll just grab my things from over here.” And then the first year girl hurriedly walked towards a table where all of her things were placed in neat stacks. 

 

“What’s up with that one?” Frederika asked amused.

 

“I have no idea. She’s in choir too and she just keeps staring at me. It creeps me out,” Simon added before Maria was back with them, sitting down at the nearest table looking excitedly at Simon. 

 

Simon and Frederika sat down at the same table and found all their stuff at a much slower pace than Maria. Simon just politely looked away and started studying the math questions that were due to the next day. 

 

“Sooo, how was your day?” She suddenly asked in a high pitched voice, almost making Simon fall down from the chair. 

 

“Jesus, warn a guy before you speak,” Simon muttered, not so politely, making Frederika giggle under her breath. 

 

“Sorry,” Maria whispered, looking down.

 

“Well, my day was pretty fucking amazing,” Frederika started, even though it was clear that the question had been directed towards Simon. 

 

Simon laughed at her. She was so full of shit and they both knew it. She had started her day off with having a cry before class because Stella had admitted to her that she actually loved Henry - was in love with him. That had broken Frederika completely and Simon had spent his morning comforting her while he was worried for Sara, who had stayed home today, dealing with everything and calling the doctor. 

 

“Yeah,” Simon said in between giggles. “What’s not to like about this amazing Tuesday? Everything is great today, Maria.” 

 

She looked at them confused as if there was something that she was missing, which there was, her not knowing how shitty a day Frederika had and how messy Simon’s life had become. 

 

“So, when I’m finished with Hillerska I want to move to Stockholm!” Maria continued in a chipper voice. 

 

“Why?” Frederika asked, amused by Maria’s blondeness. 

 

“You have to be in Stockholm to become somebody! Or maybe I’ll move to London. Oh, I just love that city, don’t you, Simon?” she sent him a beaming smile. 

 

“Umm, I’ve never been to London, sorry,” Simon answered, feeling creeped out by Maria once again. 

 

Simon

Please save me. Some creepy girl keeps talking to me. 

 

Wille

Now you sound like me. Give me a moment, okay!

 

Simon looked up from his phone and towards Maria who was still beaming at him. She was about to say something when Simon’s phone started ringing. 

 

“Sorry, sorry. I have to take this call,” Simon quickly said, leaving the table and an amused Frederika behind. 

 

“Thank God, you saved me there, Wille,” Simon said into the phone. 

 

“Sorry to disappoint you, Simon, but this is Daniel,” a male voice said into the phone. 

 

“Ohh, hello” Simon said feeling stupid all of a sudden. 

 

“So here is the deal, you have to be in Stockholm next wednesday to perform on that morning program. You know, the one that has been airing for ages” Daniel hurriedly said.

 

“But it’s a school day,” was the only thing Simon could make up on the spot. 

 

“Make it work, Simon. You need the PR, okay? And umm, maybe think about getting yourself a manager or something if everything blows up. I can’t keep being the one who handles all your appointments, okay?” Daniel said, clearly being very busy. 

 

“Okay, okay. I’ll make it work. Send me the details. I’ll talk with Mama about the manager thing. Thank you, Daniel” Simon replied feeling like he was causing Daniel a lot of trouble for not just jumping at his every word and not living in Stockholm. Maybe this school and pop-star life was going to be a bit too much for him? 

 

Notes:

This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.

Chapter 25: Chapter twenty Five

Summary:

“Shut up, Ayub,” Rosh hissed. “Can’t you see that he is hurting right now? Are you okay Simon? Anything we can do?”

Notes:

Apparently, I drink way too much coffee and sleep way too little. I mixed up chapter 24 and 25 so I accidently posted chapter 25 as chapter 24… It is all sorted now, so go read chapter 24 (the real one where Sara texts Simon) and the read this one (Where Sara doesn’t texts Simon)
This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Once again Simon found himself taking the train toward Stockholm. He wondered if he would ever get used to this trip or if it would keep being as tedious as it always felt. Maybe he should just move to Stockholm? It would make everything so much easier than it was now when he had to commute between Bjärstad and Stockholm. He would be closer to the studio, and the people he worked with there, and he would be closer to Wille too. Maybe they could see each other more that way? He could always finish gymnasiet at a school in Stockholm instead of Hillerska and he could get a small one-room apartment, hang out with Clara, and just have a blast while making music. But then he would be letting his family in Bjärstad down. They needed to stick together right now, Sara being approximately 10 weeks pregnant and all. Her due date had been set to March the 7th, so there was a long time to go, but she needed all the support she could get right now. And he would miss Rosh and Ayub too. It was bad enough that they mostly just texted now, barely having time to meet up after the summer vacation. Simon was afraid of drifting away from his two best friends as it was. How would it be if he moved to Stockholm? 

No, the best thing was to stay at his childhood home and then make the long trip to Stockholm whenever he needed to be in the capital. And in just two years he would have graduated and be on his way to Stockholm anyway. What were two years of waiting? 

 

“Hello, love!” Clara’s soft voice was heard throughout the station as soon as Simon walked outside the train. He spotted her instantly amongst the other commuters. Not because of her standing out, but because she was practically running towards him while simultaneously jumping up and down. 

 

“Hey, Clara,” he greeted his friend who had thrown herself into his arms, wrapping him in a big hug. She had offered Simon her sofa to sleep on so he would be ready Wednesday morning for his very first interview. And because of that, she was also picking him up at the station. She didn’t think it would be right for Simon to stay at another hotel, when her apartment and sofa were ready to accommodate him, as she put it. 

 

They hugged for a while, drawing curious looks at them from bystanders, but they were otherwise not bothered. Clara had become somewhat of a celebrity within Sweden over the summer and many people knew Simon’s face from the tabloids and all the gossip about him and Wille, so they were prepared for looks, but at the same time, people here were used to well-known Swedes walking around in the capital, so it didn’t count as something new or big that two musicians were hugging at a train station. 

 

“Come on, we have to take the subway for a while to get home,” Clara said once they were finished hugging each other. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?” 

 

“You know I’m nervous, Clara,” Simon huffed, getting chills just thinking about the interview he was about to do on live-morning television the next day. 

 

“Sorry for making small talk, honey,” Clara just laughed at him, knowing full well how Simon felt about the interview. They had discussed it briefly through text when Simon had gotten the heads up from Daniel the previous week. 

Since he had gotten the heads up about the interview he had been panicking about how it was going to turn out. He knew he needed to promote his music and make himself look good and believable. He knew he had to perform the song live before the interview. That alone was bad enough in his eyes, but what if the interviewer asked about Wille? What if he couldn’t hit the notes or sang some wrong lyrics? What if he said something offensive or what if he didn’t know how to answer a question? There were so many things that could go wrong with this and Simon had thought of every single one of them. And he had low-key panicked about them, too. 

 

He had talked with Wille about this. Or texted as that was easier with their everyday life being busy and their schedules not fitting together anymore. Neither of them wanted to deny the other, but they really didn’t want to share anything about their private relationship with others either. As far as most of Sweden believed, they had been broken up for almost six months by now so how would everybody react if Simon confirmed, on live television, that he and Wille were in fact still dating? How would Wille’s parents react? What would the interviewer say? 

 

The Queen and Prince Consort were not as strict about Wille not speaking or being associated with Simon any longer. Not since Erik had woken up from his coma and was in a good place now, anyway. Erik was well on his way to being in a good place again. Yes, he needed therapy. He couldn’t use his left side properly and he had difficulties with speaking, especially when he became tired, but he was progressing slowly every day, Wille had told Simon himself. So Simon would qualify that as being in a good place all things considered. 

And because of Erik waking up and being somewhat normal and unharmed, Wille was no longer expected to take over the throne after Kristina when she had passed and therefore he could be with Simon again just like before. Which was something that was utterly confusing for Simon to understand, but apparently it made sense to Wille—somehow.

 

To be fair, Simon was often confused by what was going on inside the Royal Court and why they acted the way they did. It was just a world so far away from the one he knew that it didn’t make sense most of the time. Like, why couldn’t Wille just go back to Hillerska instead of having a private tutor? His school hours were the same either way. He had to take the same exams at the end of the school year, so what was the problem with going back to Hillerska? Wille was busy on the weekends and some days he had events that required him to cut his schooling short, but Simon was sure that all of that would be accepted by the board at Hillerska if the Queen just kept paying the tuition. Hillerska loved being able to say that a prince was attending. They were elitists like that.

 

That evening Clara and Simon went out to get a bite to eat, enjoying the nightlife of Stockholm the best as they could, Simon only still being seventeen-years-old. They ate at a fancy restaurant Clara recommended. It was apparently the place to be seen right now and because it was a normal Tuesday evening, and perhaps because it was Clara and Simon, they were able to get a table for two. After a nice dinner (the food was good, but Simon couldn't see why this establishment was better than the next), the two of them went to a bar to have a beer or two. Simon only had a coke, and they talked with some of Clara’s friends and danced to upbeat music. Then they headed home to Clara’s around midnight so Simon could be ready for the following day. It had been fun and Simon found that he really needed a day, or rather night, where he didn’t need to think about Sara, her baby, his mother, Wille, or anything else. He was just going to have fun and enjoy himself, which is what he did that night. 

 

Clara’s apartment was cozy, to say the least. It was small, but it had everything she needed to get by. There was a small hallway with a decently sized bathroom to the left from the main door and a walk-in closet at the right. At the end of the hallway was the living room, which was an angled room containing a round dining table made out of beautiful ash wood with 6 matching chairs. There were abstract paintings on the wall and a carpet made out of coconut threads under the round table. In the other end of the room was a worn, emerald green sofa together with two vintage armchairs, made out of dark wood and leather, looking worn but comfortable, circling a makeshift coffee table that in fact was just two old, wooden beer boxes nailed together. Wheels had been added under the boxes so the table was easy to move around. Adjacent from the sofa hung a big tv hanging directly on the wall and beside the tv was an old bookshelf filled with books and knick knacks.

 

One end of the living room led to the small kitchen, which wasn’t that fancy and the other end of the room led to Clara’s bedroom, which was painted in a light, soft gray tone making the room look cozy and warm. Clara had plants and flowers everywhere, and as Simon was lying on the sofa trying to sleep he thought that Wille would absolutely love this small apartment and its decor. Wille would also like Clara. Simon could see the two of them being friends too. Maybe more than friends? Wille had been fangirling all over her the last time they had met and it had made Simon feel uncomfortable and slightly jealous. It was unreasonable; he knew that. He knew that Wille loved him and cared for him, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have fought his mom about the two of them as often as he did. He knew Wille loved him by the small random texts he sometimes sent throughout the day or the pictures he sent of the most boring stuff happening to him. Wille included Simon in his private life, and he never did that with anybody else. Wille was the one who loved taking care of Simon, appreciating him and making him feel so good that Simon forgot everything else around them. Wille was the one for Simon; he knew that, but perhaps that was the reason it hurt so much thinking about Wille falling in love with someone other than Simon. Clara was an amazing person. Simon really liked her, but he could never fall in love with her. Not like Wille could, and that frightened him a bit. 

SimonErikssonOfficial Enjoying a day here in Stockholm together with @ClaraTheRealOne Are any of you going to watch “The Morning show” tomorrow? I might know someone who’s going to be there! 

 

PinkyBlond I love you so much bestie <333

FeliceE Yaay, Go Simon!

JustAyub Are you going to introduce us to @ClaraTheRealOne

ClaraTheRealOne @JustAyub patience is a virtue <3 

+154 more comments

 

Wednesday 

 

Simon woke up at 5 am, took a really quick shower, and found his carefully-chosen clothes so he would be ready on time. At 6 am he was in the tv studio, his whole body buzzing with nerves. He wished for nothing more than for Wille to be here with him to share this experience, but he knew that that was never an option. Wille was used to the media and to interviews even though he hated them. He knew how to act around adult people who were going to interview him. Simon didn’t. He only had the good advice he had gotten from Daniel and Johan, and of course from Clara the night before. Wille had just been love-struck and advised Simon to just be himself because then everybody would love him as much as Wille did. Simon had called Wille useless when he heard this and that had made Wille laugh so hard he had apparently dropped his phone on his face, earning himself a small bruise on his forehead. Simon had not felt sorry for him. He could just have offered some well-placed advice instead of acting like a love-struck puppy. Secretly Simon had loved that he could make Wille laugh like that, but he didn’t tell anyone.

 

In the studio, Simon was offered some coffee, which he accepted gladly. He wasn’t a fan of early mornings and this one was surely a really early morning for him—especially after a somewhat late night. After greeting the staff, Simon was then led to a chair where he sat down to get his makeup done. That was apparently a thing you needed when being on television. The whole experience felt like some kind of out-of-body experience. Like it wasn’t him sitting in a chair getting his makeup done by a stranger who talked way too much considering the time of day. With his coffee mug in hand and his phone blowing up with notifications in the other hand, Simon closed his eyes and focused his energy on the task in front of him. 

 

At 7:30 am he was scheduled to sing. He would sing his single before sitting down on the small sofas and talking with the interviewer for a while. By 7:45 it would all be over and he would be free to head home to Bjärstad again. It was a lot of trouble for only 15 minutes on television. 

 

As the time neared Simon felt his nerves grow to a point where he almost couldn’t handle it anymore, but just as he was about to run out of the studio and hide he received the best text he could ever wish for at that given moment.

 

Wille

I’m so proud of you, Simon. I’ll be watching you from my room <3 

 

Wille

I love you <3


Simon

Love you too, Wille <3

 

Then it was time. He walked into the small studio and took his place by the microphone, grounding himself. He thought of how Wille was sitting on his bed in that un-personalized room of his, looking at the tv, waiting for Simon to appear and sing his song for the whole country to hear. He thought of Wille’s smile, his eyes, and his beautiful hair that repeatedly would fall into his eyes no matter how he styled it. He thought about how they met, and how they so quickly had become friends and then something way more than friends. As the host introduced Simon, he thought about the first time he saw Wille, in a lucia dress, looking so confident and proper. He now knew that it was all just a facade Wille put up whenever he had to become Prince Wilhelm of Sweden. He knew who Wille really was and he felt so blessed to be the one who had become deserving of the blonde boy's love and trust. 

 

Simon looked directly into the camera when he began singing:

Thinking about you

No others, others, others

Sick how you made me fall, fall, fall

Hope you feel the same, the same, the same

Do you want me to want you to stay?

 

The applause from the host and the few other people in the room made Simon turn his attention back to the present and what he was doing. Awkwardly he walked towards the much-dreaded sofa and the host, Adreas, to start his very first Interview on live television. No big deal.

 

“Whew, that was Simon Eriksson with his debut single “Jag å non annan!” Thank you so much for the song, Simon” Andreas happily said. 

 

“Well thank you for having me!” Simon politely said, sending his best smile in the direction of Andreas hoping that he somehow came off as confident and calm–the exact opposite of how he really felt. 

 

“So how is everything?” Andreas continued. 

 

“Uhm, everything is great. I really love this line of work that I have been thrown into, and yeah, I’ve had the opportunity to work with a lot of talented people this summer. It has all been great in so many ways, and also kind of unbelievable that it’s all happening to me. Everything is new and exciting right now,” Simon replied nervously.

 

“You are surely deserving of it. You are so young and yet so talented. Please remind us again just how old are you now?” Andreas asked.

 

“I am 17 years old now and I'm in the second year of gymnasiet, so yeah” Simon managed to say. He felt his heart pumping in his chest and threw back his hair in an attempt to seem nonchalant. 

 

“17 years old and already trending! That's really something, Simon. So are there more hits on their way from you? Can we expect some new songs soon?” the interviewer then went on, disregarding his comments about his school. 

 

“Yeah, so I have been recording some more songs and they will be released shortly, but I can’t say anything more right now,” Simon smiled, feeling happy that Andreas was asking him about his music and not his private life.

 

“Well, that sounds interesting. I’m sure all of us will love everything you release” Andreas smiled back at Simon. “We have had some of your fans, because you already have quite a fanbase on social media, to ask some questions of you.”

 

“Oh, yeah? Let’s go!” Simon excitedly replied. 

 

“Okay, let’s go. “PinkyBlond” asks when will you feel ready to date again?” Adreas looked at Simon with a gleam in his eyes. He knew this question could become juicy. 

 

“Oh, getting right to it I see,” Simon laughed, trying to play it off nonchalantly. “Well, who says that I’m not dating right now?” he smiled at Andreas hoping that this part of the interview would be over very soon. 

 

“So, you are dating? It has been rumored that you and Prince Wilhelm broke up back in April, but the two of you have since then been seen together on multiple occasions. Are the two of you back together?” Andreas shot at him.

 

“So, all I can, and will say is that I am at a place where I’m very happy with the people that I surround myself with and everybody around me has been so supportive of all the work I’ve put into this single and the other tracks that I’ve already recorded,” Simon said, trying to avoid the question as elegantly as he could.

 

“I see,” Andreas just said and went on to another topic. “How is it to balance school and now being an artist? This question is asked by “IonlyLoveLove”.

 

“It has been challenging. I don’t live in Stockholm, so there is a lot of travel time involved and also planning school work and stuff. Like, I had to go to Stockholm yesterday after school so I could be here today, but then I will miss most of the school day today because I’m here and then I have to catch up on what I’ve missed when I get home later today. So yeah, a lot of planning is involved in this” Simon answered honestly. 

 

“Well, we better let you get off the hook for now then” Andreas joked and stood up to shake Simon’s hand goodbye. “Thank you so much for taking the time to come to sing for us and best of luck in the future! We hope to hear some more from you very soon!” 

And with that, the interview was finished and Simon was led backstage where he got freed from the microphone and talked a bit with the backstage staff before he was ready to go. That had been such a strange experience, Simon thought to himself as he walked the short distance to the subway so he could get home to Clara, pick up his stuff, and then ride back to Bjärstad to attend the last class of the day. Oh, the glamorous life of an artist. 

SimonErikssonOfficial Thanks for everyone watching along this morning! I can’t wait to share some more music with you guys very soon<3

 

ClaraTheRealOne You killed it! <3

PinkyBlond Simoooon! You were so amazing<3

FeliceE Come back to school, we miss you

ThatWOne beautiful as always <3

+256 more comments

 

Frederika was waiting for Simon at the gates of Hillerska when he arrived early afternoon just in time for the last class of the day, Maths. 

 

“Hello, boo,” Frederika greeted Simon with a one-armed hug. “You looked amazing today, by the way.” 

 

“Thank you, Stella,” Simon smiled at her while hastily walking towards class. “I feel dumb for not bringing anything to change with me. This is a bit too much for school, don’t you think?!”

 

“Maybe,” Frederika replied. “But it’s very much you, you know.”

 

Simon smiled at her and soon they were in the classroom, math books out and listening to their awful teacher Mr. Englund. He was clearly not impressed by Simon nor his choice of clothes for the day, sending him displeased looks and snarky remarks. Simon didn’t care. At least he pretended like he didn’t care, anyway. 

 

At study hall, he sat together with Frederika and Felice trying his best to catch up on what he had missed throughout the day when he was surprised by none other than the first-year student, Maria. 

 

“Hey, Simon” her loud voice was heard behind him. He rolled his eyes and looked up, trying to give a polite smile to her. 

 

“Hello, Maria. I’m in the middle of studying. I have a bit to catch up on, so umm” he tried to tell her politely that he wasn't interested in talking with her, but she didn’t notice and just took a chair and placed it between Felice and Simon, pushing some of Felice’s notes away to make room for her iced coffee from the cafe.

 

“Maybe I can help?” she said happily. “I’ve been in school all day!” 

 

Simon looked at her as if to check if she really meant what she was saying. Her wide smile told him that she did. He then looked at his two friends who both were trying to contain their laughter. It was Felice who took pity on Maria first.

 

“Sweetie, are you aware that we have a different curriculum than you? We are in our second year, not first like you” Felice smiled at Maria. Maria's smile dropped and her eyes grew wide. Then she hurriedly gathered all her books and ran away from their table. 

 

“Poor girl,” Frederika mumbled before turning her attention back to her studies. 

 

“I have no idea what's up with her,” Simon just said before diving back into his own studying even though he didn’t feel like it.

 

Wille 

You looked good today

 

Simon 

Thank you, Wille. How was your day?

 

Wille 

Okay, nothing exciting happened. Went to see Erik though. 

 

Simon 

How is he?

 

Wille 

He's… I don't know how to describe it. It’s like he is here but not here at the same time.

 

Simon 

I'm sorry 

 

Wille 

Today, he was so angry and frustrated and I didn’t know what he was saying. Couldn’t understand him. His speech is not easy to understand…

 

Simon 

Were you alone with him?

 

Wille 

No, Tindra was there too. She’s basically always there. Helping the best she can with rehabilitating and whatnot. She told me that he gets like that because he just wants to be better now.

 

Simon 

But he has been through a lot of trauma. It will take time for him to get back to the way he was.

 

Wille 

Explain that to him. They are training his left arm and hand so he can eat by himself again as well as working simultaneously on his speech… So it’s kind of a lot for him right now.

 

Simon 

Wish that I could help in some way.

 

Wille 

Wish I could be with you right now. It's unsettling seeing Erik like that. So helpless and frustrated. When are you back in Stockholm again?  

 

Simon 

Not for a while I guess. This Wednesday was kind of sudden. Got a week's notice. Don’t really know what's planned for me at the moment. 

 

Wille 

Maybe I can come to Bjärstad soon. Now that Erik is awake and everything. 

 

Simon 

Omg, Wille! That would be amazing! I miss you so much! Is it really something that could happen? 

 

Wille 

I'll talk to Mama and try to figure something out. 

 

Simon looked up from his phone up as a french fry was thrown in his face. He could see that Frederika was hiding her laugh behind a napkin while Ayub and Rosh were laughing quite obviously at him, one of them most likely being the person who had thrown the fry in the first place. 

 

“You are so boring, Simon! Get away from your phone for once. It’s been ages since we last hung out together,” Rosh complained. “Whoever’s on that phone can wait until it’s their turn to hang with you!”

 

“It’s just, Wille. Relax, will you?” Simon snarled back at her before taking a bite of his burger.

 

They had decided to hang out that evening, Ayub and Rosh wanting to know everything about Simon’s interview that very same morning. Frederika had tagged along with Simon. She was in a bad mood today and didn’t want to go back to her shared room with Stella. 

Simon hadn’t known how his two childhood friends would react to him bringing Frederika, but they welcomed her with open arms and soon they were all engaged in a heated conversation about whether or not french fries should be put inside a cheeseburger or not. Simon hadn’t heard the conclusion because Wille had texted him mid-conversation.  And because it was Wille, Simon had to answer him. 

 

“Leave him alone, guys” Frederika tried to save Simon. “He's just missing his boyfriend. Nothing wrong with that. I think that it's sweet that Wille keeps texting Simon. It’s so romantic.”

 

“They are literally dating, Frederika,” Rosh said, looking pointedly at Frederika. “It would be wrong if he didn’t text Simon. Like why wouldn’t he text Simon?”

 

“Rosh, relax,” Ayub chimed in. 

 

“Shut up, Ayub. I'm talking to this fancy girl,” Rosh shot him down rudely earning a glare from Ayub.

 

“All I'm saying is,” Frederika started, “Wille and Simon have not been having an easy summer. Wille was dealing with his brother and all of that mess and Simon has been recording and whatnot the whole summer. And they hadn’t really spoken for weeks when Wille had to leave to go to Stockholm.”

 

“Thanks for reminding me of that, Frederika,” Simon dryly said, filling his mouth with fries. 

 

“What do you mean by that?” Ayub asked. “Why didn't they talk? Simon, you never told us about that.”

 

Simon stopped in the middle of eating. Hadn’t he told them about the fight he had had with Wille that summer? By the looks of his two best friends, he must have forgotten all the mess that happened those weeks. It wasn't fun back then.

 

“It’s nothing guys, we just had a fight. That’s it,” Simon tried to smooth it out. “It was stupid anyway.”

 

“Whatever you say, Simon,” Rosh said, rolling her eyes at him. 

 

"You are not a big fan of Wille, are you?" Frederika curiously asked Rosh. 

 

“No, not really,” Rosh said, earning herself a glare from Simon. He knew Rosh didn’t like Wille, but he also knew that Rosh really didn’t know Wille yet. To be fair, they had only met properly once. And Wille had been summoned to Stockholm back then because of his brother's accident. 

 

“Why? Wille is so gentle and sweet towards Simon,” Frederika said, confused. 

 

“How would I know? I've only met him once–on Simon’s birthday. All I know is that he makes Simon’s life a lot harder than it could have been,” Rosh defended herself. “I don’t like to see my friends hurt that much because of another person!” 

 

“Come on, Rosh! Not this again” Simon exclaimed, throwing down an unfortunate french fry on his plate. “How can you dislike him so much when you don't know him? Yes, we have had our differences and a shaky start, but that doesn’t mean Wille is a bad person or a bad boyfriend or anything like that…”

 

“Nuh-uh. Like. You should see them at school,” Frederika started, laying down her burger and chewing her food properly before continuing. “They are so adorable together.  Wille is always checking that Simon is okay, always eyeing him, and looking at his face in class whenever Simon says anything. Like before Simon was in the picture, Wille barely looked up from his books in class and he never, like never, spoke to anybody except Felice. And when they, Simon and Wille, walk together it’s so synchronized. It’s not like their movements are the same or mirrored or anything like that, but they are the same but more… like one unit. Argh, this is so hard to explain. You really have to see it. Do you get where I’m going with this?”

 

“Are you trying to make us sick?” Ayub asked while Rosh just shook her head. 

 

“No, no. It's just… It is so crystal clear to anybody that Wille is head-over-heels in love with Simon. The way he acts around Simon and the way he defends him when people start talking shit about him or about them or something. I would do anything to have a relationship like that,” Frederika finished.

 

“Did Wille really not look up from his books before I started at Hillerska?” Simon asked, amazed. Wille was such an introvert around others and Simon often forgot that. 

 

Frederika shook her head. 

 

“Wow, Simme. Was that what you thought was the most impotent thing in that rant?” Ayub asked, looking at his friend with a big grin. 

 

“Well no,” Simon started. “I just forget how lonely Wille actually is. How alone he was before he met me. And… oh, how alone he must be now.”

 

“Explain! Didn’t he have friends before he met you or what?” Rosh asked.

 

“Not really. I know that he talked to Felice,” Simon tried to explain, “But even though he says they are friends he doesn't share too much information with her, or anybody for that matter. I was the first one he told he was queer and... And…” 

 

Simon trailed off, moist eyes threatening to spill tears. Tears he didn’t want to reveal in front of the whole restaurant. 

 

Frederika placed a light hand on his shoulder as if saying it was okay that he was touched, but Simon didn’t feel okay. He had become so utterly sad by the thought of Wille being so alone before they had met and then again throughout the summer. Perhaps he was even more alone this summer than ever before. He hadn’t been allowed to reach out to Simon, Erik was in a coma at the hospital, and Felice was not a friend he shared those kinds of feelings with. He had been alone and sad, and probably also anxious in a big world that expected way too much of him. And Simon hadn’t tried to reach out to him, he had only waited for Wille to call or text whenever Wille had the opportunity to do that. His poor Wille. Simon should have texted him every day, telling about all he had been up to, but instead, he’d just gone out eating fancy meals with fancy people, forgetting about his boyfriend. Ignoring Wille’s needs.  

 

“Dude, relax,”  Ayub pulled Simon out of his thoughts.  “Breathe normally, Simon. People will look if you drop dead from lack of oxygen.”

 

“Shut up, Ayub,” Rosh hissed. “Can’t you see that he is hurting right now? Are you okay Simon? Anything we can do?”

 

They all looked at Simon with worry and sympathy in their eyes and he just couldn’t take it any longer. He got up and bolted out of the restaurant, running all the way home where he locked himself in his room wanting nothing but Wille. Wille, it was always Wille. 









Notes:

I JUST SURVIVED A WEEK FROM HELL!
I shit you not! Last week was horrific! I hope this one will be so much better. Also, I’m in need of YR fanfic recommendations… Got any? You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 26: Chapter twenty six

Summary:

Maria had been on his heels every single day that Clara had been in town and after their talk in the car Simon was suddenly painfully aware of how obvious it was that Maria was pining after him. It didn’t make him feel uncomfortable per se, just kind of uneasy when she was around, but it made him feel bad for her in some way as well. 

Notes:

Chapter 26 ladies and gents. Hope you like it. I really had a hard time writing this chapter for some reason, but here it goes. Thank you for reading and thank you for all the comments <3 You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter Text

Clara was standing in front of Hillerska. Simon could clearly see her from inside the building. Lots of other students had spotted her as well and were gossiping and chatting about her in small voices excited about a popular, well-known person being there. Simon only rolled his eyes and started to confidently walk towards her.  If people were going to look at them, let them. He didn't care. He knew his good friend Clara was here to pick him up so they could go home and create some beautiful music together—not metaphorically, but literally. They were both fully committed to drafting and creating a song together and then convincing Daniel and Johan to release it. 

 

Simon wasn’t the first one to reach Clara. A couple of first-year students had reached Clara and were now circling her, asking for photos and autographs from her. Clara, the sweet girl she was, only agreed and let them take photos of her and signed some autographs before she spotted Simon and waved at him happily. 

 

Simon smiled back at her happily. He was glad to see his good friend here in Bjärstad and excited to show her where he grew up. As he reached her he pulled her into a big warm hug that they so often did each time they met each other. It hadn’t been long since they had last seen each other, but Simon found that he had missed her company and easygoing personality. 

 

“Hello, honey. How are you?” Clara asked when they were done hugging. Simon smiled at her; she was the sweetest. 

 

“I'm great, thank you. I had a boring school day. What about you? Was it easy to find this place?” he replied.

 

“It was somewhat easy. I just typed the address into the GPS and drove off,” Clara laughed back at him. 

 

“That’s good, this place can be a bit tricky to reach,” Simon replied, noticing Maria storming towards them. “Being in the middle of a forest and all that.” 

 

“OMG! Simon! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me Clara would be here,” Maria shrieked before lunging toward Simon to give him an awkward one-sided hug. 

 

“Maria, what are you doing?” Simon asked, a bit annoyed by her behavior. 

 

“What are you talking about, bestie?” Maria asked when removing herself from Simon again. “We just had choir practice together, silly. You could just have told me you were meeting up with Clara then!”

 

“Maria, what is going on? We never really talk together…” Simon tried to say, but Maria interrupted him with her high-pitched laugh.

 

“Ohh you are too funny, Simon” she then said, turning her attention towards Clara. “So, what brings you Hillerska, Clara?” 

 

“I'm just here to visit my dear friend, Simon,” Clara politely said, taking Simon’s hand in hers and started walking away. “We actually have an appointment in a moment, so I have to steal your bestie away. Come on, Simon.” 

 

She pulled Simon towards her tiny red Swift trying to contain her laugh as best as she could. But she wasn’t fooling Simon. 

 

“Omg, that was priceless!” Clara finally laughed once they were inside the car. 

 

“What? Me being ambushed by a crazy girl?” Simon wondered aloud. 

 

“No,” Clara replied. “That girl. She is obviously in love with you, Mr. Eriksson.”

 

“But I’m gay,” was all Simon could think to say in response. 

 

“That doesn’t mean girls can’t fall for your good looks and charming personality, Simon,” Clara deadpanned as she started her car.

 

“And I'm with Wille,” Simon added.

 

“Does she know that?” Clara asked, driving onto the main road leading to Bjärstad. 

 

“I don’t know. It’s not her business who I'm dating,” Simon defended himself, sinking into the seat. 

 

“If that’s the case you better be prepared for girls, and boys, falling for you, Simon. They will even though they know you are together with that Prince charming of yours.” 

 

“You really think so?” Simon asked.

 

“Mmm, just look at me. Even though I’m openly dating Manfred, everybody wants me to date someone else” Clara explained to Simon. “This summer I had someone write to me that they wanted me to have his children. That’s kind of disturbing now that I think about it.” 

 

“Ohh wow, that’s something else,” Simon commented before changing the subject. “How is Manfred by the way?” 

 

Clara sent a small smile his way.

 

“He's great. Working really hard at the moment. After Christmas, he's going to Thailand together with some friends for a few months before he plans on starting university.” 

 

“Do you ever have time to see each other?” Simon wondered aloud. 

 

“Yeah, we'll make it work. I bet we’ll have more time together than you and Wille?” Clara carefully said.

 

"Mmm, our schedules don't fit well together right now, but he will try to find some time for him to come here” Simon answered honestly. 

 

When they arrived back at the Eriksson home he found Sara lying on the couch. She had been home from school today suffering from severe morning sickness. The others at school still didn't know she was pregnant and she planned to hide it as long as possible, she said. Simon thought it was silly and that their friends could help her, but he would not discuss this with Sara; it was her decision and it needed to be done her way. 

 

Clara and Sara greeted each other while Simon found some drinks and snacks for him and Clara before they ventured into his room. 

 

“Cute fishes,” Clara said as she dropped down on his bed. 

 

“I don’t know about that,” Simon said, placing himself beside Clara and handing her a bowl of popcorn. Clara happily accepted the bowl and began chatting about her idea for a song. They needed to write something they both had a personal connection to—something their audience would relate to and feel seen in as well. It didn’t take long for them to get things rolling and soon Simon was sitting cross-legged in front of Clara scribbling notes and lyrics in his small notebook. This was going to be amazing! 


SimonErikssonOfficial this is the best way to spend the day! Excited for new projects and possibilities. 

 

ClaraTheRealOne You are the best, Simon 😍

PinkyBlond I just died and went to heaven right now!!!!

ThatWOne pure prettiness 

+356 more comments 

 

Simon 

Did you just make up a word again? 

 

Wille 

Maybe… But I think that it is real.

 

Simon 

You are unbelievable, Wille 

 

Wille 

So are you! Why is Clara in your room? 

 

Simon 

She’s spending a few days here. We're working on a project 

 

Wille 

Ohh, you didn’t tell me

 

Simon 

Must have slipped my mind. Sorry…

 

Wille 

It's okay, Simon. You don’t have to tell me everything. 

 

Simon 

But I want you to know everything, Wille 

 

Wille 

<3

 

Simon 

Have you talked with August lately? 

 

Wille 

Why on earth would I go out of my own way to speak to that guy? 

 

Simon 

I just thought he would have reached out to you…

 

Wille 

What is it that you’re not telling me? 

 

Simon 

I really shouldn’t say anything 

 

Wille 

But do you want to? 

 

Simon 

Sooo badly, Wille 

 

Wille 

Tell me. You know I can keep a secret 

 

Simon 

But I really shouldn’t share this with anyone.

 

Wille 

I'm your boyfriend, Simon. And may I remind you that I’m locked up in a castle all day with no one to talk to? 

 

Simon 

Please don’t remind me. I don’t want you to be lonely 

 

Wille 

I'm not. Not that much at least. After all, I’m allowed to speak with you now. 

 

Simon 

Wille…

 

Wille 

Yeah, yeah I know… so, what was it you were going to tell me?

 

Simon 

Don’t tell anyone 

 

Wille 

Never!

 

Simon 

Okay… here it goes… Sara is pregnant and they want to keep the baby…

 

Wille 

Wow. I don’t know what to say to that. 

 

Simon 

Sorry, shouldn’t have dropped it on you like that but it was killing me not being able to talk to you about this. 

 

Simon 

And now I feel bad for telling you. OMG! I'm such a bad brother, Wille 

 

Wille 

Oh, Simon. I won't tell anybody. Promise <3 

 

Clara ended up staying in Bjärstad for almost 5 days. Simon had no idea what she did the days he went to school other than driving Simon and Sara back and forth. She didn’t tell him, so perhaps she didn’t actually do that much. Maybe she wrote her own music? She had gone on and on about how peaceful Bjärstad was, that it made her feel well-rested. Simon didn’t feel the same about Bjärstad, but maybe that’s because he had grown up in this town and therefore felt the quietness was dull and boring and not relaxing and freeing as Clara did. 

 

Maria had been on his heels every single day that Clara had been in town and after their talk in the car Simon was suddenly painfully aware of how obvious it was that Maria was pining after him. It didn’t make him feel uncomfortable per se, just kind of uneasy when she was around, but it made him feel bad for her in some way as well. 

 

He had mentioned it to the girls, Felicia, Stella, Addison, Sara, and Frederika who all had said that everybody knew how fascinated the new girl was by Simon and his presence. Stella told them that one day she overheard Maria tell her friends that she had made a fan account about Simon and that she checked in on Simon’s socials on an hourly basis. That made Simon panic slightly. He had, naively enough, imagined that nobody in school would listen to his music or take notice of what he did as an artist. But apparently, he had been wrong. While most of the older students at Hilerska didn’t care about Simon, many of the new first-years were fascinated by him—especially after his appearance on morning television. That appearance had kind of established that this was a serious deal for Simon and that he meant what he did. Then, after Clara had appeared at the school, some of the older students, who knew Simon and his story, had started to show more interest in him because of his connection to her. It was all very superficial and Simon really didn’t like people acting that way. It low-key reminded him of the time people at Marieberg found out that he was dating Wille. Suddenly he was interesting because of who he knew. 

 

Luckily his friends, except Ayub who was absolutely fangirling over Clara, didn’t treat him differently and Simon praised them for their calmness in all the hustle that went on the days Clara was in Bjärstad. 

 

Approximately a week after Clara had left he got a call from Daniel telling him that they needed to move fast, record the song and then get it out before the new year. It was a swift process considering that it was the middle of November now, but Simon happily applied himself and made it work with his obligations for school. Somehow the board liked that he was on his way to becoming an established artist. It had boosted the application rates to Hillerska that Simon was now semi-famous and therefore he didn’t have a hard time arguing his case when asking the principal for a week off from school. All he had to do was keep up with the curriculum and hand in any assignments electronically and he was good to go. 

 

Therefore Simon found himself and a stuffed suitcase standing at a well-known station in the middle of Stockholm in the last week of November. It was cold and windy and Simon wondered to himself, not for the first time, why it was that he was living in such a cold country when he preferred the warmth. 

 

Clara was waiting for him at the station. She was smiling and waving at him. They took the familiar subway route to her apartment and Simon felt at home when he walked into the small space. He was grateful that he once again could stay at her place instead of a hotel because this was much more comfortable.

 

The pair spent the afternoon drinking tea and watching a Netflix game show that neither of them actually liked to watch, but they watched it anyway. He really appreciated Clara's company and the fact that they could just be themselves around each other. But he had forgotten to mention that he had made plans with Wille to meet up that evening and now he somehow needed to tell her that he would be leaving to go out to eat without her. 

 

“Umm, Clara?” Simon started. 

 

Clara looked at him with a raised eyebrow waiting for him to continue. 

 

“I umm, kind of made plans with Wille tonight, so umm…” Simon felt like an ass for staying at her place but running off with his boyfriend the second he got the chance. 

 

“Okay, have fun,” Clara said.

 

“You're not mad?” Simon asked. 

 

“Why would I be mad about you spending time with Wille? Lord knows the two of you could use some time together for once. When did you last see him?” Clara asked, confused. 

 

“Last time I was here. It’s just…I just got here Clara, and” Simon started, finding it hard to define his concern. “I just don’t want you to feel like I use your apartment as a hotel or something like that. I really am grateful for being allowed to stay here, but it’s been so long since I've last seen Wille and…”

 

“Simon stop,” Clara interrupted him. “I'm not mad or offended or anything else. I think it's great that you actually have the time to see each other.”

 

“Ohh,” Simon let out.

 

“I just don’t want you to bring him back here when your night ends. I don’t think my sofa would survive the two of you getting it on,” Clara teased goodheartedly.

 

“Omg, Clara. Stop. Just…” Simon blushed just thinking about what Clara had just said. “We umm. We… we are going to stay at his place because of the privacy it provides,” Simon finally got out. 

 

“Nice,” Clara replied, returning to the tv show. “Remember to pack an overnight bag. I'm not letting you in during the middle of the night to come to get your things, and we need to be ready at the studio at 9 am tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah okay, don’t worry. Wille needs to attend some kind of meeting tomorrow instead of Erik so he needs to get up early too. Don’t worry about that, okay!” Simon answered. 

 

“Okay,” Clara said, looking towards the screen.

 

“Okay,” Simon said, not knowing why. 

 

They watched the show for a while without saying anything, but suddenly Clara disrupted the silence by asking, “Is he good?”

 

“Huh?” Simon asked, looking at her for clarification. 

 

“Wille, is he good in bed?” Clara asked curiously.

 

“OMG! Why are you asking this?” Simon said, looking horrified at her.

 

“Okay, okay. Sorry if I’m overstepping, but I’ve just guessed that he didn’t have that much experience before he met you. But like, does he know what he’s doing and stuff?” 

 

“I’m not answering this, Clara!” Simon said sternly. “This is not something we share with people.” 

 

“I’m just curious, Simon. He wasn’t seen with anybody before you and he went out quite often back when he lived here,” Clara pushed. “And it’s not like I don’t tell you stuff about Manfred and me. I’m just looking out for you, Simon.” 

 

“By asking me about my sex life with Wille? That’s a strange way to look out for your friends, Clara” Simon hissed. “And I never asked you to share any of that Manfred stuff with me. You did that all on your own, thank you very much!” 

 

“Okay, fair point,” Clara agreed before she continued. “I mean… I was 14 when I had sex for the first time. You know full on, or in? I don't know, and all that. I had done stuff before that. Of course, I had, but like. The one I was with the first time was a virgin too, so it was kind of crappy and stuff.” She looked at Simon as if to see whether she should continue or not. 

 

Even though Simon definitely didn’t want to say anything about his and Wille’s private matters to anybody, he had to admit that he was curious as to what Clara’s point was. 

 

“It’s just… If you have experience and get together with someone who doesn’t have any, things can become strange. Like you need to be the one in charge all the time to guide and lead the other person, you know? I've tried that and it wasn’t fun in the long run,” Clara looked at Simon like he should know what she was talking about. “Simon, you do know what I’m talking about…right? You don’t?... Do you?” 

 

Simon didn’t know what to answer or how to answer so instead he stood up, way too quickly, and hurriedly walked toward his bags. “I should pack my bag for tonight. I have to leave in a bit. Wille will pick me up, so…” he trailed off busying himself with packing his backpack. 

 

“OMG! Simon,” Clara squealed, jumping off the sofa. “Have you guys never? I can’t believe this! You guys are just so all over each other all the time that I just assumed.”

 

Simon didn’t answer Clara. He continued packing.

 

“Hey, look,” she said tenderly and placed a hand on his back. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just assumed that you guys, or at least you had even if Wille hadn’t…” 

 

“No, we haven't. I haven’t,” Simon whispered before grabbing his jacket and putting on his shoes. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Clara,” Simon sent her a small smile before walking out the door feeling mortified. 

 

A black car was waiting for him on the street and when Simon neared it a guy in a suit stood and opened the door to the backseat for Simon. Simon discreetly went into the car where he was met by Wille and a warm smile. 

 

“Hey,” Wille whispered to him.

 

“Hey,” Simon whispered back.

 

Once the door was closed and the car started driving away Wille dove in for a small kiss from Simon before taking his hand. 

 

“I've missed you,” he said to the curly-haired boy.

 

Simon smiled back at Wille. “I've missed you too, Wille. So much!”

 

“How did Clara react to you leaving her this evening?” Wille asked, looking intently at Simon. 

 

“Well she didn’t want me to bring you back, that’s for sure,” Simon started. 

 

“Why? Doesn't she like me?” Wille asked, sounding hurt.

 

“She thought that we would have sex on her sofa,” Simon stated. 

 

“Oh, well. Okay,” Wille said, sounding embarrassed. 

 

“I mean. I guess a lot of people just assume that’s what we do whenever we are together now” Simon tried to say, not knowing how Wille would react.

 

“Do people really talk about us like that?” Wille asked. 

 

“No, not directly. Or Clara asked directly before I left, but she’s the only one who has the balls to do that. Others just hint at it, I guess,” Simon tried to explain. 

 

“And, umm… What do you tell them?” Wille looked at Simon with big eyes.

 

“Nothing! Wille, OMG. I swear. I tell them nothing,” Simon sounded a bit panicked, even to his own ears. 

 

“Okay. I’m not blaming you for anything, Simon. I just know how you hate talking about these kinds of things with people. How it makes you uncomfortable,” Wille explained to Simon. “What did Clara say when you wouldn’t talk about us?” 

 

“Nothing much,” Simon answered. “I actually ran out of the apartment when it occurred to her that I’m still kind of a virgin.” 

 

“Wait, what?” Wille asked surprised. 

 

“What?” Simon said, not following Wille. 

 

“You still consider yourself a virgin?” Wille elaborated.

 

“Yeah, I mean… don’t you?” Simon asked, looking away from Wille’s intense stare and ridiculously gorgeous, brown eyes.

 

“No. I mean. We’ve done like… so much and umm, no. I just don’t consider myself a virgin anymore,” Wille mumbled. “But you do?”

 

Simon nodded and the car went silent for the rest of their drive back to Drottningholm. But Simon’s mind didn’t go quiet. His thoughts were circling around their conversation. Was he in fact still a virgin? Logically he knew what they had done together. He’d been a very big part of that—an eager participant to say the least, but they hadn’t had penetrative sex yet, or had they? Did fingers count? Was that something he should Google? Wille clearly felt like he wasn’t a virgin any longer so maybe Simon was just being stupid by thinking that only a penis counted as penetrative work. He blushed just thinking about that. How in the world could he still be this flustered just thinking about Wille doing that to him? 

 

It wasn’t the first time his thoughts had drifted to that particular image: Wille buried deep inside him, both panting with need but also with pleasure, and, wow, he should really not think about that kind of stuff inside an official car of the Crown. Nope, stop.

 

The car stopped. Simon hadn’t noticed that they already were at the palace having lost himself in his thoughts while riding. 

 

“Have you eaten yet?” Wille asked as they were walking the long way toward his room. 

 

“Oh, No. I thought that we would go out to eat or something,” Simon awkwardly answered. 

 

“Oh, yeah. That’s true. It’s just. I’ve been with Erik today and I don’t really feel like going anywhere now…” 

 

Simon could understand Wille. It took a toll on him when he visited Erik at the hospital's rehabilitation center. Even though he was feeling better he was still very frustrated and took his anger out on Tindra and Wille.  But Simon had hoped for them to have an evening to themselves to go out and eat a nice meal. Instead, they started to eat in the kitchen. They found some hard bread, butter, and cheese and made themselves some boring sandwiches.

 

While they were eating they told each other about what had happened in their lives since the last time they saw each other. Simon told Wille everything happening at Hillerska at the moment. He told him about Maria and her obsession with him and Wille only laughed at that, finding it hilarious that she would actually think she could score him knowing full well that Simon was gay. 

 

Later that evening when they were laying in Wille’s bed, legs tangled together tongues dancing with each other Simon had forgotten everything about his disappointment earlier. So what if they didn’t go out? They couldn't do this in public, making out, being this close to each other. And this was good. This was really good. 

 

Simon groaned into their kiss, pushing his hips against Wille’s, feeling just how hard both of them had become from doing practically nothing. As their hardness collided it sent a shiver through Simon’s body. He could hear Wille whispering his name at the very same moment and that made him want more. 

 

He gently pushed Wille down on his back on the bed, cradling him carefully with his legs  grinding his hip down against Wille’s, making the boy underneath him whimper with need. It made both of them moan even more, Simon throwing back his head, forgetting all about kissing just for a moment. 

 

“More, please, Simon,” Wille softly pleaded from underneath Simon, wiggling around trying to create more fiction. 

 

“What do you need, love?” Simon asked, looking intently at Wille. He had swollen lips from kissing—red and plump,  just like Simon assumed he had himself. 

 

“You, more” Wille kept going, asking for nothing in particular but still more than what he got right now.

 

Simon nodded before diving into Wille's mouth again, kissing him senselessly before gently pulling off Wille’s polo quickly followed by his own hoodie, throwing both pieces of clothing on the floor. 

 

“So beautiful,” Simon muttered as he let his hands wander up and down Wille's chest before starting to place small, wet kisses down his upper body. As much as Simon liked to just kiss every inch of Wille’s body, he could feel that Wille needed to be touched. His sounds had become sort of desperate and so pleading and Simon couldn’t deny his boyfriend what he really needed. 

 

He made a quick decision and removed himself from Wille, standing up to take off his own pants and boxers, willing Wille to do the same from the bed. Simon looked at Wille in all his glory. He was beautiful, they were beautiful, he thought to himself as he placed himself on top of Wille, making sure he didn’t hurt the blonde boy in the process. 

 

When he had placed his legs in between Wille’s, making both their legs bend slightly so they could feel each other just a bit more, he gently kissed Wille before bringing their interlaced fingers up to his mouth to kiss them too. He liked the look of their skin against each other. Wille’s skin was so pale and soft, and Simon’s was darker and smoother. They looked perfect in his eyes, especially next to each other.

 

“Move around, love,” Simon softly said to Wille, pulling back slightly from the boy underneath him. “Please lay on your belly.” 

 

Wille nodded and did what Simon had asked him, only breaking eye contact when it wasn’t physically possible for him to hold it any longer due to his movement. Wille placed himself in the middle of the bed, arms folded under his head, looking sideways towards where Simon was sitting on the bed. 

 

“Just give me a moment,” Simon whispered, before he dug through Wille’s nightstand, finding just what he needed. 

 

“Just relax, okay, let me take care of you for once, Wille,” Simon said before placing a gentle kiss between Wille’s shoulder blades. A loud click was heard in the silent room when Simon opened the lid of the bottle of lube that he had found in the nightstand drawer. He slowly began massaging Wille’s back, moving his hands down Wille’s slender body before carefully caressing his buttocks. He moved downwards on the bed, moving his head slightly toward Wille before finally placing feather light kisses along Wille’s thighs. It made Wille gasp for air, wiggling slightly around on the bed clearly enjoying what was being done to him. 

 

“Simon,” He let out a breathy moan. 

 

“Shh, I got you, love,” Simon whispered back to Wille, kissing him one last time on the lower back before applying some lube to his fingers. He slowly moved towards Wille’s opening, circling it teasingly, slowly, making sure to notice every movement Wille made that might warn him of any discomfort. 

 

But there were none. Wille was like butter beneath him, melting into every movement Simon made. Soon not only one, but two fingers were working their magic within Wille. Pushing, bending, moving around before Simon found just the right spot.

 

“Mmm,” Wille let out a deep moan, pushing back against Simon’s fingers.

 

Simon bent down to kiss Wille’s back, wrapping his free arm around Wille so he was standing on all fours on the bed, head dangling between his shoulders. Carefully, still making sure he saw every move Wille made, Simon wrapped himself around Wille from behind, two fingers becoming three and a hand wrapped around Wille’s cock, stoking him slowly, teasingly, trying to figure out just how far he could go before Wille needed release. 

 

The prince was a babbling mess beneath Simon, arms giving out, so his body crashed down to the bed. He looked gorgeous, Simon thought to himself as he began to speed up his strokes, pumping Wille at the same speed he was moving his fingers. 

 

“Simon, Simon, I…,” Wille said in a whisper down into the mattress. He was close; Simon knew that. He bent further down the best he could, given their crouched position, and whispered into Wille’s ear, “It’s okay, Wille. You can let go. I love you.” He kissed him gently behind the ear before raising himself again, doing what he could to bring Wille over the edge. 

 

The next morning, Simon was woken up by an alarm going off, signaling that the two boys needed to get up. 

 

“Ugh, I don’t want to!” Simon groaned with a hoarse voice. “Why is it that we need to wake up this early?”

 

He felt a hand scramble across his face for them to cover his mouth. 

 

“Shh, my eyes hurt,” Wille mumbled. 

 

“What?” Simon said. “That doesn't make sense, Wille.” 

 

“Mmmm,” Wille just said before turning around, pulling the duvet with him so Simon was left butt naked on the bed. 

 

“Come on, Wille” Simon tried to shake some life into his boyfriend who was clearly not ready to wake up. “We need to take a shower before breakfast. I can’t be late today!” 

 

Wille turned around, pushing Simon out of the bed. He landed on the floor with a high pitched screech. 

 

“Wille!” Simon complained, standing up and finding some sweats to wear on the way to the bathroom.

 

“Sorry, sorry. It wasn’t on purpose. I just feel kind of off today,” Wille said from the bed, looking a bit paler than normal. He probably just needed some proper food, Simon thought. 

 

The shower was nothing to talk about. Both boys were feeling drained from energy, so even though Wille had promised so many things that would happen to Simon in their morning shower the night before, both of them simply couldn’t muster the energy it took for either of them to do anything. Wille helped Simon with his hair, Simon claiming his arms were still asleep, before he continued to wash himself off. Then they just stood there, leaning up against each other trying to find the energy to get out of the shower, get dried off, get dressed, and then get to breakfast. It didn’t seem like it would be an easy task ahead of them since they both were feeling so off. 

 

“I think I might be coming down with something, Simon,” Wille finally said as they were sitting in the kitchen, cereal bowls in front of them. 

 

“You don’t say,” Simon hummed, guessing he too was getting sick. 

 

“I can’t get sick right now. I have recording time this week,” Simon then went on. 

 

“I’m sorry, Simon,” Wille said before sneezing into his arm. “It must be me who has passed this on to you.”

 

“No, not your fault, Wille. How could you have known? You, we, were fine yesterday” Simon tried to reassure Wille, knowing how good he was at taking the blame for things he couldn’t control. “We need to get going,” Simon finally said. 

 

“Right, just leave the bowls. Someone will clean them up. I need some aspirin before we get going,” Wille said, dragging himself up from the chair. “You want some too?” 

 

Simon shook his head in response and went back to Wille’s room to get his stuff before meeting Wille in the hallway. 

 

“Let’s go,” Wille sighed, looking more dead than alive. 

 

“Let’s go,” Simon mirrored, swinging the door open and heading outside. 



The recording sessions had been great all things considered. Simon had pushed through a massive fever for the entire week, suffering through it silently. He didn’t want to be a bother for the rest of the team who was working on their single, but he did earn himself some concerned looks from Clara throughout the week. He felt so bad and guilty for catching a fever in the first place, but Clara continuously stated that it wasn’t something he could control. 

 

Linda had been worried for him the whole week he was away but could do nothing to help Simon. She had to stay in Bjärstad to work, but she had arranged to pick Simon up in Stockholm so he didn’t have to take the train all the way back to Bjärstad, which Simon was grateful for. She was supposed to pick him up Sunday afternoon so they could be back home before supper. 

 

Wille had hustled his way out of the palace that Sunday and was spending his day together with Simon on Clara’s sofa. They both looked miserable sitting in each other's company, clinging to each other like there was no tomorrow. 

 

“I feel so bad,” Simon said in a tired voice.

 

“You’ve been working way too hard, taking in consideration that you’re ill, Simon” Wille replied, snuggling closer to him. 

 

“Aren’t you two just the sweetest!” Clara exclaimed from one of the armchairs. She was casually sitting in the chair, texting Manfred, not finding interest in the show Wille and Simon had put on. 

 

“Because we are sick?” Simon asked before sneezing. 

 

“No, because you guys are just…” she trailed off. “Like, it’s hard to explain, but you just look so in-sync with each other even though you guys are sick right now.” 

 

“Right,” Wille said, lifting his head from Simon’s curls. “I don’t get you.” 

 

“No, me neither,” Simon agreed, closing his eyes for just a second to rest his aching head. 

 

“Nevermind then,” Clara smiled at them, turning her attention back to her phone. 

 

 

“Simon, wake up, Mi Amor,” Simon registered his mom’s soft voice and a hand stroking his hair lovingly as only a mother could. 

 

“Mmm, what time is it?” Simon groaned and earned a startled shake from Wille by his side. 

 

Linda laughed softly at the boys. “It’s time to head home; you can sleep in the car, okay?” Linda said, standing up from her crouched position. 

 

Simon and Wille had fallen asleep on Clara’s sofa, both of them worn out from a week of obligations whilst being sick. Slowly Simon stood up from the sofa trying to untangle himself from Wille who was still half asleep. 

 

“Please don’t go,” Wille pleaded as he was left alone on the sofa.

 

“I have to, Wille. Mama’s here to drive me back. You should get back too” Simon said to Wille. 

 

“I don’t want to move,” Wille complained, sinking further into the sofa. 

 

“Well you have to,” Clara piped up. “Manfred is coming over, so…” 

 

“Ohh, yep, yeah. On my way,” Wille quickly said before slowly dragging himself up from the sofa moving toward Simon to capture him in a warm hug. 

 

“Hello, Linda,” Wille said from his hug. Apparently hugging Simon was more important than greeting Linda properly, but Simon had no complaints. He could always be up for hugging Wille. 

 

“I’ll miss you,” Simon whispered to Wille. “We’ve barely seen each other this week.” 

 

“I know, I’m sorry about that, Simon,” Wille responded, holding his curly-haired boyfriend a little closer. “I’ll find out when I can visit Bjärstad, okay?” 

 

“Mmm, okay,” Simon replied before kissing Wille goodbye and walking outside together with his mom. Just as he was about to enter the car a voice behind him called out. 

 

“I’ll miss you too, Simon. Love you!” Simon turned around stunned. It was Wille, standing a bit further down the road by a black car. He must have walked down the stairs together with them without Simon noticing. Damn fever. He smiled at Wille, and Wille smiled back at him before stepping into the black car, not giving a second thought to the bystanders. Simon wondered  how many people had heard what Wille had just said.

 

Monday 

 

Wille 

Good morning, love

 

Simon 

Morning, Wille. How are you today? 

 

Wille 

Better. You?

 

Simon 

Same. Haven't got a fever, but I'm still so tired.

 

Wille 

Yeah, me too. Mama let me take a sick day though 

 

Simon 

Wish it was me. I have to go to school today because I was gone last week. 

 

Wille 

I feel bad for you <3 but umm… I have to tell you something 

 

Simon 

Should I be afraid? 

 

Wille 

I really don't know…

 

Simon 

Wille?

 

Wille 

Yeah, so Mama and Papa got home last night and Mama came to see me. I might have forgotten to put that bottle of lube back in the nightstand drawer. 

 

Simon 

What?!

 

Wille 

Yeah, so Mama and Papa had to sit me down to talk.

 

Simon 

Talk? You are 17. Haven't you had that talk before?

 

Wille 

Not that kind of talk, but umm. They need us to get tested before I can come visit you…

 

Simon 

What? 

 

Wille 

Yeah… sorry about that 

 

Simon 

They know that they can’t demand me to be tested or to see a result from me right? They know about GDPR right? 

 

Wille 

They can refuse me coming to visit you in December…

 

Simon 

Wait. You can come visit me?! 

 

Wille 

Yep. Second week in December. Just around Lucia.

 

Simon 

Omg, that’s amazing Wille! For how long? 

 

Wille  

Just a week or so. Need to get back to all the Christmas celebrations and traditions here.

 

Simon  

I have no words. I'm so happy right now 

 

Wille 

But umm, they need us tested.

 

Simon 

I'll call the doctor on my first break today! 

 

Wille 

Are you serious? You sure?

 

Simon 

A week with you at my place around the time of our anniversary? I'm sure, Wille! 

 

Wille 

Okay. We'll do this then! 

 

Simon 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, WILLE 

 

Wille 

Haha, I love you too, Simon <3

Chapter 27: Chapter twenty seven

Summary:

New Year’s Eve was nothing grand this year. Simon had to deal with August staying at their house, Sara crying for not being able to hide her pregnancy any longer and therefore had to tell their friends, and everyone else, when they came back to school. Wille was stuck in the palace having to be social with a lot of people he didn’t know and Simon, Rosh, and Ayub found themselves once again losing in trivial pursuit much to everybody’s entertainment.

Notes:

Does everybody love the 32 second sneak peek of She fell in love with summer as much as I do? I’m already making choreography (I’m a full time danceteacher) for the 32 seconds that’s released. Can’t wait for April 28th! AHHHHHH!!!!!

You can reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter Text

Their single had been an instant hit. It was released between Christmas and New Years–a year after Simon had visited Wille at Drottningholm for the first time. A year after their photo had been leaked. It wasn’t intentional that it was that date; it just happened to go that way. So much had happened between then and now. They had grown stronger together, evolved, and grown up in a lot of ways. Simon was grateful for the year that had passed. Both for the good and the bad things. They had formed him into the young man he was now becoming, and all the experiences had strengthened him. He could stand his ground now, well, most of the time. When it came to Wille he was still completely whipped. The fact that they weren’t able to see each other every day caused a shift in their relationship. Simon wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad shift. Maybe it was just one of those things that happened but were neither good nor bad. Simon always looked forward to seeing Wille, and always loved the way he felt at home whenever they were together. He looked forward to telling his boyfriend about everything that had happened since they'd last seen each other in person. He loved seeing Wille laugh. He could always hear his light laughter through the phone but seeing it in person and up close was everything. 

 

It had felt like some sort of magical relief back in December when Wille had visited him. Wille had arrived at Eriksson's house a Sunday before Lucia, looking too good for his own good. They had spent the day together curled up in Simon's bed watching a silly Hallmark Christmas movie interrupted by lazy kisses now and then. It was nice and cozy and everything they needed to find each other after two weeks apart. Simon had wondered how on earth they had ever managed to survive their summer apart. Now, two weeks seemed like such a long time to not be together. 

 

Around five pm they ventured to the kitchen to cook some dinner. Sara was not home that weekend and Linda was once again working. Sara was visiting August who was busy at university by now studying something Simon didn’t care much about. Wille had stopped as he entered the kitchen and looked at their fridge, which was covered in photos, postcards, and notes. 

 

“That’s her baby?” he had asked, looking at some pictures from an ultrasound of Sara’s baby. 

 

“Yeah, that’s the baby,” Simon had answered, a soft smile plastered on his face. Even though he didn’t like August or that having a baby at Sara’s age wasn’t something he would ever have chosen for himself he always became gooey and soft inside thinking of a little baby looking like Sara. He was soft in that manner.

 

“Is it going to be a boy or a girl? Do they know that yet?” Wille had asked, still looking at the pictures, fingers tracing the outline of the fetus. 

 

“We don’t know. They don’t want to know before the birth,” Simon had said, wrapping his arms around Wille’s torso, and gently placing his chin on the other boy’s shoulder. “She’s not as frightened about all of this anymore. Not like she was back in the fall” Simon continued before placing a kiss behind Wille’s ear. 

 

“Do you want kids?” Wille whispered, still looking at the pictures.

 

“I’m not sure,” Simon answered honestly. “I can’t really picture myself as a parent having the responsibility to take care of another human being. It’s frightening enough that Sara and August have to do that!” 

 

Wille gave a little laugh at that last remark. 

 

“I always thought that I should have kids,” Wille said in a low voice. 

 

“Do you still believe that?” Simon asked, rubbing his hands up and down Willie's arms.

 

“I don’t really know. I also thought that I should date a girl and get married and all that. I don’t believe that’s in the cards for me anymore,” Wille admitted, turning around to look at Simon. 

 

Simon smiled at Wille, placing a loving kiss on his inviting lips. 

 

“Let’s make some food. We promised Mama we would have supper ready at 6 o’clock,” Simon said before releasing his hold on Wille. He wasn’t ready for a conversation that serious with Wille just yet. He knew they had to talk about their future together and what they wanted at some point. He also knew that it would be a hard talk to have. They would without a doubt not see eye-to-eye on everything. 

 

They cooked in relative silence, Simon doing most of the actual cooking. Chicken in curry with rice. Nothing fancy, but a bit difficult for Wille to get the hang of. He wasn’t that used to being in a kitchen. Luckily Simon had been used to helping out in the kitchen from a young age so he made sure everything went as planned when Linda arrived back home from work they had set the table, and had supper ready for them to eat. 

 

Monday morning Wille had been joining Simon in school. It hadn’t taken many conveniences or sweet talking for Wille to charm his way into classes all week. The teachers were loving that the Prince was back at Hillerska even though it was just for a week and to be honest, Wille didn’t do anything in class to disturb the lessons. He just sat still beside Simon, staring at the curly hair boy occasionally. Kind of what he had done last year. It felt nice to have Wille back by his side. Kind of comforting. Simon hadn’t thought about how much he missed Wille's mere presence in class before Wille was once again sitting beside him. 

 

At study hall, Wille had been reading a book he claimed he had to analyze in his private lessons for Swedish. They were sitting together with Walter, Henry, Felice, Stella, Maddison, Sara, and Frederika. The whole gang got back together as Walter had said, earning himself complaints and groans from the rest of them. They were not a gang, it was stupid to say, etc., etc. After a while Simon noticed someone behind him, he turned around looking directly at Maria who was standing way too close to him, school books clutched in her arms smiling at him. Smiling way too big at him. 

 

Wille looked up from his book when he noticed Simon move and looked at Maria curiously. 

 

“Hey, Simon,” Maria said awkwardly, blinking ways too many times. 

 

“Hello,” Simon said, staring at her, waiting for what she had to say. 

 

The whole table, or gang as Walter had called them, looked at Maria and she suddenly stepped back a bit when she realized she had everybody’s attention, looking almost shy. That was new for her. She was always pushy and over-the-top happy. Not shy and cautious like now. 

 

“So umm, I just wanted to know, like,” she said, sounding nervous. Something she hadn’t been before when talking to him. “Like, have you had a good day?” 

 

Simon looked at her. Was she serious? From the corner of his eyes, he could see Felice and Frederka hide their smiles behind their hands. 

 

“Umm, yeah, great” Simon answered, feeling a bit sorry for the girl in front of him. He could feel Wille wrap an ankle around Simon's offering him support and closeness. 

 

“Ohh yeah. Great… me too,” Maria replied sheepishly, quickly glancing at Wille and then back to Simon. 

 

“Do you, umm… Can I help you with anything?” Simon then asked, wanting this conversation to be over. 

 

“Yeah I was just wondering or we were just talking,” she pointed at some girls behind her who were giggling slightly. “Umm, like, do you want to hang out someday?” 

 

“Ohh,” Simon didn’t want to hang out someday, but how was he supposed to say that to her? 

 

“I umm, I’m really busy at the moment, Maria. Like with school and work and all that. I haven’t got that much spare time, sorry.” 

 

He could see the moment it dawned on her that he had said no to her suggestion. She awkwardly backed away, disappearing out of the study area, the group of giggling girls following her with concerned looks on their faces. 

 

“Poor girl,” Felice laughed when she couldn’t hold back anymore. “I know we shouldn't laugh at her, but she is so gone for you, Simon!” 

 

“Felice, please shut up,” Simon groaned. 

 

“What do you mean gone for Simon?” Wille asked, puzzled. He looked around at all of them seeking an answer.

 

“She has this huge crush on Simon and is constantly ambushing him and talking with him and stuff,” Sara explained while continuing her math homework.

 

“Simon?” Wille looked at his boyfriend. 

 

“What? Haven’t I told you?” Simon asked, afraid Wille would be disappointed in him. Or even worse - angry.

 

“Don’t you know who she is?” Wille had continued. 

 

“No?” Simon was getting nervous now, he would admit that. 

 

“She’s PinkyBlond from Instagram. She’s like your most devoted follower,” Wille smiled at Simon. Simon’s eyes widened. 

 

“Is that her? But she likes everything that I post! She likes everything the same second I post something,” Simon sounded horrified. 

 

“How do you know who she is?” Henry had asked Wille with a gleam in his eyes.

 

“I’ve seen her profile - haven’t you?” Wille had asked all confused. Apparently, Wille kept tabs on Simon’s followers in a way the others didn't. 

 

“No…” Simon said noticing their friends shake their heads too. 

 

“Ohh, well. Guess it’s just me then,” Wille said before continuing to read his book. 

 

Simon just sat at the table looking straight ahead. If PinkyBlond was in fact Maria it would be insane. She was a massive fan of his and followed his every move. Even here at school, she followed him. It was creepy and unsettling. A cold chill washed over Simon all of a sudden and he couldn’t help the shiver that went through his body. 

 

“Are you okay?” Wille asked, looking at Simon with worry written all over his beautiful face.

 

Simon nodded and sent a smile to Wille before looking down at his textbooks again.

He didn’t feel okay right now.

 

Tuesday had been a boring day at school for both of the boys, but as soon as Simon was done with choir they took the bus to Bjärstad to meet up with Rosh and Ayub. Once again Wille was nervous - just like he had been back in the summer when they were to meet for the first time. 

 

Like last time Simon holds Wille's hand throughout the bus ride comforting him with small pecks on the hand and whispering affection in the ear. He held Wille’s hand when they exited the bus and all the way to the pizza place where they were meeting Simon’s friends. Simon could feel the moment Wille saw Ayub and Rosh who were waiting outside the pizzeria.  He tensed his whole body so Simon gently stopped him and looked his boyfriend in the eyes. 

 

“Hey, look at me, love,” Simon said in a quiet voice. “It’s going to be just fine, okay? Nothing bad is going to happen this time around.” 

 

Wille nodded but didn’t look so sure himself, so Simon hurriedly look around them to scan for cameras, and when he was sure there were none he placed a loving kiss on Wille’s lips.

 

“You and me, Wille. Will get through everything together.” 

 

Ayub and Rosh greeted them once they reached them and together they walked into the pizzeria. The last time Simon and Wille had been there was when they had tried to go on a date. Now they were a group of four and people didn’t notice Wille among the three others. 

 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving!” Ayub exclaimed as soon as he sat down. 

 

“How can you already be hungry? It’s only like…” Rosh looked at her phone. “It’s only been three and a half hours since you’ve last eaten.” 

 

“I’m a growing boy, Rosh” Ayub just said to her in response. 

 

She rolled her eyes at him and turned her attention to Simon and Wille who were sitting on the opposite side of the table. 

 

“What are you guys having?” she asked innocently.

 

“I think I’ll have a kebab and salad pizza,” Wille answered, shifting a bit so he could look at Simon. “You want to share?”

 

“Ohh, umm. I’m thinking of ordering one with ham and pineapples” Simon said hesitantly. 

 

“What?” Wille exclaimed in disbelief. “Who in their right mind will put pineapples on pizza?” 

 

“The same guy who eats Nutella on pizza,” Rosh snickered from the other side of the table. 

 

“Really, Simon?” Wille looked at him with amazement written on his face. “Remind me again why we are dating?” 

 

“Because I’m a better friend to you than Harry Potter, you love my curls, and I give you awesome gifts,” Simon answered before closing the menu card.

 

“Those are all very valid reasons for starting a relationship,” Ayub mugged Simon. 

 

“But it is true nonetheless,” Wille said, sending a lovestruck glance at Simon.

 

“Sap,” Rosh muttered.

 

Simon didn’t get a chance to defend himself because at that very moment, the waitress came to take their orders. She didn’t notice Wille at first but when she did it all went down as usual. The waitress became all clumsy and flustered, Wille became uncomfortable, and people started looking at them.

 

“Well, now I remember why we didn’t go on more dates than that one... you remember?” Simon said under his breath. 

 

“What date? I just thought that you guys texted like crazy and ended up making out in Lucia dresses?” Rosh asked with a smile. 

 

“Ohh, it didn’t” Ayub interrupted. “They met at the Lucia thing but it was the weekend after that they were all over each other. Simon wouldn’t shut up about this guy from Hillerska when he came to my place to sleep. I was so annoyed by you that weekend.” 

 

“Yeah, I remember,” Simon said sheepishly. “Sorry about that, Ayub.” 

 

Wille took Simon’s hand and looked at him. “You talked with Ayub about me?” he asked in awe. 

 

“Well, yeah,” Simon said, looking all shy and flustered from the love in Wille’s voice. 

For a moment it was just the two of them that existed. Nothing from the outside world was getting through to them. Simon could feel Wille caress the back of his own hand, could feel the love radiating from his eyes and all the way into Simon’s heart. He only hoped he was able to convey the same emotions to Wille. Wille’s golden, brown eyes were shining with love and tenderness and Simon found himself drowning in them slowly but surely. 

 

It was only when their food was served that they noticed where they were and who they were with. Wille instantly blushed but Simon only smiled at his friends hoping they soon would understand just how much Wille and Simon meant to each other. 

 

“I think I might have just lost my appetite looking at the two of you,” Rosh said, smiling. “I’m so painfully single that I've forgotten how it feels to be sickeningly in love.” 

 

“Yeah, I hear you” Ayub agreed with their friend. “And I have a girlfriend.” 

 

“So you are together now? When are we going to meet her?” Simon asked, leading the attention away from himself and his blushing, and adorable boyfriend. 

 

“Well, yeah” Ayub smiled. 

 

“Yo, congratulations dude!” Simon exclaimed, high-fiving Ayub across the table. 

 

“Yeah, yeah. Go Ayub,” Rosh said, a bit more restrained. 

 

“Aww, cheer up Rosh” Simon smiled at her. “I thought you and Frederika had something going.” 

 

Wille almost choked on his food when he heard this. 

 

“Are you trying to kill me, Simon?!” he choked.

 

“Relax, Prince Charming. Nothing is going on there” Rosh said, playing it cool. “We text. It’s fun.” 

 

“Yeah, it was fun when Simon and I started to text each other too,” Wille said matter-of-factly. 

 

“What are you getting at?” Rosh asked a bit too hard. 

 

“I’m just telling you how our relationship started. We texted, had fun, connected, and bam…” Wille held a pause for the sake of drama. “Now we have dated for more than a year.”

 

Rosh looked at the two of them with horror in her eyes and Simon secretly loved that Wille could frighten Rosh like that. It was a rare talent. 

 

That evening Wille made sure to show Simon just how much he loved his curly-haired boyfriend. 

 

After supper, they ventured into Simon’s room both feeling tired after their day. Wille had softly spooned Simon while they were watching some dating show. His hands had slowly caressed Simon’s belly, just below the belly button. He had been circling his index finger around the corners of Simon’s belly button, making Simon shiver. Simon didn’t know it would feel that way to be caressed there. After the clock passed nine pm and Linda went to bed, Wille started placing small kisses along Simon’s neck, shoulders, and back. He slowly pulled off Simon’s shirt, leaving the young boy partially exposed and then he did the same again. Kissing the neck, the shoulders, and then down his tanned, slender back. Simon lost track of the world around him and gave in to the pure bliss it was to have Wille touch him in that way. He had noticed that Wille often took his time with Simon. Like he was savoring every memory of the two of them together. Like he was afraid there wouldn’t come another moment like this for them. 

 

He gently turned Simon onto his stomach, kissing all of his back softly. His hands reached Simon’s waistband and only hesitated for a short moment until Simon nodded his approval. Then Wille had begun to remove Simon’s jeans and underwear. Slowly, sensually, and with lots of kisses all over his body. 

 

Simon was woken from his trance of endorphins by Wille’s soft voice whispering into the dark: “I think that I would really like to try something, but I don’t know if you'll like it.” 

 

“Tell me,” Simon managed to say. 

 

“I umm, can I. Can I show you?” Wille asked quickly. “I’ll stop the moment you say so.” 

 

Simon thought for a while. He trusted Wille with all his heart, body, and soul by now. He couldn’t see anything wrong with letting Wille have his way with him. He trusted him.

 

“I trust you,” Simon whispered from his lying position on the bed. “Go on, show me, love.”

 

Wille slowly continued his show of affection for Simon and Simon thought that this was the best feeling he could possibly feel. He was turned on, yet he wasn’t too close to orgasm that he was in a hurry to reach it. He just enjoyed that feeling of being slowly worked up. He was just content, horny, and so in love. 

 

That was until he felt Wille’s mouth directly at his entrance. 

 

“Holy shit,” he hissed, backing into the madness underneath him.

 

“Is it okay? I can stop” Wille quickly removed himself from Simon, scooting away from him.

 

“No, Wille,” Simon reached out for him. “Please, I just… I wasn’t prepared for that. Are you… Are you sure about this?” 

 

“Yeah… Been thinking about that for so long, love. Wanted it for so long” Wille moved closer to Simon again. Simon could feel it from the movement in the mattress. And then his mouth was on Simon’s most private place again. 

 

Soon the kisses were joined by a sleek tongue that poked, caressed, and twirled its way into him. And Simon was a lost cause. He was babbling into the pillow, frantically rubbing down on the mattress, and Wille just kept going until finally Simon reached his high and fell over the edge, happy, spent and so relaxed. 

 

Simon was all mush, lying spent on the mattress. He knew that he probably should make sure Wille was okay, and was being taken care of, but he had no energy after what had just happened. It was just as he was about to move around that he heard a faint grunt coming from Wille. He turned his head and was met by his boyfriend sitting on his knees, one hand firmly grabbing his erect cock, pumping it at a rapid pace. The other hand was placed lightly on Simon’s leg. It wasn’t a tight grip or anything. Just a light caress as to steady Wille. 

 

“Fuck” Simon muttered under his breath taking in Wille’s every move. Wille opened his eyes slightly, smiling at Simon before he came all over his hand. 

 

They fell down in bed, both well spent and went to sleep without thinking of cleaning up or anything else for that matter. 

 

ThatWOne I miss this place more than I care to admit!

 

SimonEriksson Hillerska misses you too <3

ThatWOne <3

 

SimonErikssonOfficial So proud of this song! Thanks for always being there for me @ClaraTheRealOne. You are the best <3

 

ClaraTheRealOne Simon <3 I had a blast, love.

PinkyBlond Best song ever!

TrineAamund I love this song! Are they dating? 

TrueSwede I thought he was with the prince???

PinkyBlond He has been spending quite a lot of time together with Clara though. 

MUTHC It would be so epic if they were dating! She is much better for him than that stuck-up party prince!

TrueSwede Yeah like, he can be himself around her in a way he can’t together with Wilhelm

MUTHC Just what I thought. And he is anti-monarchist so there is that.

PinkyBlond Do you think that they have been dating since this summer? They were seen together so often back then?

ThatWOne Does it really matter who he dates as long as he’s happy?

TrineAamund How can you say that? Being with the prince must really suck! He’s not even nice to people, never stopping to take pictures with them like Simon does. 

Comethisfar Yeah, like. Last time he was seen in Stockholm I ran into him and he was so nice! We chatted for a while before he got picked up by this big, black car. 

TrueSwede You are so lucky! I would give everything to meet him!

 

+1742 more comments

 

Simon’s socials had been blown up ever since his and Clara’s single came out. It had been an instant hit, which was great; it was fantastic. It had secured Simon his record deal for an album, which he was starting on after Christmas. It was all good. He and Clara had already been booked for shows, interviews, and even some summer concerts. Simon looked forward to all of that. The only thing he didn’t like was the way the fanbase felt entitled to discuss his private life openly on social media. Wille had laughed at it to start with, but soon he too felt uncomfortable about it. Simon's fans were extreme to an extent Wille hadn’t experienced before. Wille was known by everyone in Sweden, but his fans, if you even would call them that, weren't engaging with each other or on socials like Simon’s were. Especially the way Simon and Clara were matched together was something Wille had admitted bothered him. Even though he didn’t say anything, Simon could feel that Wille was on edge because of all the comments that were made about him by people who didn’t know him at all. 

 

“You know it’s just fake, right?” Simon had asked Wille one evening while on Facetime with Wille.

 

 “I know, I know, but it still stings a bit,” Wille finally confessed. 

 

“Mmm, same for me. Like, I just want to scream to the whole world that they need to mind their own fucking business!” Simon continued, backing Wille up in his claim. 

 

They were silent for a while just looking at each other. Or more like, Wille looked at Simon who was doing some homework he was falling behind at. 

 

“Maybe you should say something?” Wille then said, startling Simon.

 

“Like what? Oh, I have a boyfriend, dear followers, but thanks for shipping Clara and me, though?” Simon mocked, looking at Wille with a pointed look.

 

“Something like that, but a bit more refined. I mean. Clara has Manfred too and he must somehow feel a bit odd about this too” Wille explained.

 

“And what would your Mama think of that?” Simon asked, not totally against the idea. 

 

“Do we really care at this point?” Wille asked. 

 

“Well, I would love to say that I don’t care, but somehow I do care. Does that even make sense?” Simon asked.

 

“Kind of. It’s like me wanting Linda to like the food I cook because it somehow makes me believe that she likes me better. And I want her to like me because I like you!” Wille tried to explain. 

 

“Wow, you only like me now? What happened to all the love?” Simon teased.

 

“Shut up, Simon” Wille laughed lovingly.

 

“How is Erik by the way? Is he settling in fine?” Simon asked, having forgotten all about Erik returning to the palace. 

 

“He’s managing. Tindra is here too, which is nice but strange somehow” Wille said, scratching his neck. 

 

“Why is it strange? I thought you liked her?” Simon asked

 

“I do, but…like, we are not allowed to live together with others at the palace before they are married into the family and stuff. And Tindra is not married to Erik yet because of the postponed wedding,” Wille explained. 

 

“Ohh,” was the only thing Simon could think of to say to that.

 

“They both apparently put their feet down and demanded that Tindra would live together with Erik so there is that” Wille continued his explanation. “Mama and Papa were furious for a week or so before they accepted it. I guess it’s not the best time to ask if I can go back to Hillerska after Christmas now that I think about it.” 

 

“Wait, what?!” Simon squealed, almost dropping down from his chair. “Are you coming back?” 

 

“It’s just something I’ve been thinking of. Like. Erik is better and he does some work now, so maybe it would be time for me to head back. Also, I really miss Hillerska and the people there, but don’t tell anybody I told you,” Wille smiled. 

 

“We miss you too, Wille. So much,” Simon said, sending back a shy smile. It would be so wonderful if Wille could return to their school. 

 

Much later that night when they had said their goodbyes, Wille had an early morning on the last day of the year, Simon looked through his socials wondering what to do. What would be his smartest action right now? He knew Clara disliked the idea of being linked to him, but she said nothing because of all the press it got them, but was the press really everything? Wasn’t it much more important to take care of yourself and the ones you loved? Simon loved Wille, no doubt there, but he had also grown to love Clara as his close friend and thereby also Manfred. 

 

He had talked with her about his concerns and thoughts after Wille had to go that evening. She felt the same way as Simon did and supported his need to address their so-called relationship. Simon had much more active and devoted fans than Clara. She was popular amongst a lot of people but Simon had reached cult-like status with a few devoted fans already. With that in mind, he posted his last post on social media for the year.

SimonErikssonOfficial It has been believed that my new single Nakna is related to the relationship between Clara and me, when in fact it has nothing to do with Clara per se. The song was written by both Clara and me but it has deep ties to someone else very close to me – my partner. Clara is a very dear friend of mine that I spend a lot of time with. We have found common ground in our careers and work but are nothing more than just great friends. She has her boyfriend and I have mine. Although there are many fans who ship Clara and me, I would kindly ask you to respect our privacy and our right to have private relationships together with each of our chosen partners. I love you all. <3 Simon

 

ThatWOne <3 

PinkyBlond <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

FeliceE Love you no matter what, boo <3

MUTHC But why?! Wilhelm is so uptight. 

 

New Year’s Eve was nothing grand this year. Simon had to deal with August staying at their house, Sara crying for not being able to hide her pregnancy any longer and therefore had to tell their friends, and everyone else, when they came back to school. Wille was stuck in the palace having to be social with a lot of people he didn’t know and Simon, Rosh, and Ayub found themselves once again losing in trivial pursuit much to everybody’s entertainment. The broadcast, The Year with the Royal Family, centered around Erik’s accident, the postponed wedding, and of course the way Wille had been filling in for Erik. Experts analyzed the way Wille had acted throughout the summer calling him snobbish and not at all down-to-earth like his brother. It hurt Simon to hear that. He knew Wille had been heartbroken the entire summer, he hadn’t slept right, and he was hurting but he had still fulfilled his role as a substitute crown prince. The way he had looked and acted had apparently been seen as snobbish and distant and it enraged Simon that people in a tv studio could just sit and discuss his boyfriend in that manner. It wasn’t fair to Wille. 

 

On the first of January, Simon’s song, “på min telephone toda la noche,” dropped as a surprise, making Simon’s fan base explode on the internet, blogs, and socials. No one, except the people involved, knew it was released that day and Simon felt a strange feeling of satisfaction because of this. He had managed to surprise everyone - even Wille who didn’t know anything about the single.  

 

It was a very personal lyric in the single describing the way Simon had felt in the very beginning when he was texting Wille non-stop. Wille had been all tears and smiles when calling Simon on the first day of the year, saying the song made him fall in love with Simon all over again. 

 

One person who wasn’t too happy about Simon releasing such a song was none other than the Queen. When she had time to hear the song - or get a briefing on Simon's career- she had commanded that Wille should call Simon so she could tell him just how unsettling and unbecoming it was of Simon to release lyrics with the message and content he did. 

 

“But I’m an artist, your majesty. I write about what I know” Simon tried to explain to the Queen over the phone. 

 

“Then write about something else, Simon,” the Queen answered harshly. “You can’t bring Wilhelm into such kind of attention. This new song practically describes how you met.” 

 

“What’s so bad about that?” Wille’s voice was heard through the phone. 

 

“Wilhelm, please do not interrupt. This is between Simon and the Court” Kristina said briefly.

 

“Then it’s about me too, Mama,” Wille sighed. “I am with Simon and I am literally a part of the Royal Court, too.”

 

“Wilhelm just stay out of this!” the Queen exclaimed, clearly irritated by her youngest son. 

 

“What's so bad about my lyrics?” Simon asked again, trying to save Wille from his mother. 

 

“What’s so bad? Are you serious right now, Simon?” the Queen huffed. “The lyrics to Nakna describe something that the public does not need to know about their prince. It’s private.” 

 

“But it’s not private enough to not talk about at lunch?” Simon challenged. 

 

“That is different,” the Queen argued. 

 

“Not to us, Mama” Wille tried to support Simon. “Mama, I’m not bothered by the lyrics. I’m proud to be with Simon. What’s so bad about people knowing we actually love each other?” 

 

“You really mean that, Wille?” Simon asked, surprised that he dared say it aloud. 

 

“I love you, no one else, Simon” Wille answered through the phone.

 

“Stop this nonsense, boys,” Wille’s mom interrupted them. “You have to start thinking about the consequences of your actions. I’m not trying to be mean, I am happy that you are happy, Wille. I really am. But everything you do will follow you for the rest of your days. What will happen with your writing if you guys suddenly break up?”

 

“We won’t break up, Mama” Wille said, sounding so sure of himself it made Simon all soft inside. 

 

“We have no idea what’s going to happen in the future, but I assure you that I’m no Taylor Swift” Simon replied. Simon could hear Wille’s laughter in the background and Kristina hushing him. 

 

“I don’t live like this, Simon. I’ll tell you that. And I will not sort out your mess when you won't listen to me,” the Queen said as a final warning before bidding them her farewell, leaving Simon and Wille alone on the phone. 

 

“She hates me,” Simon sighed into his phone, dropping down on his bed. He could finally breathe again after being so on edge talking with the Queen. 

 

“She doesn't.” She just hates what you do,” Wille tried to console Simon. 

 

“Well that makes everything better,” Simon answered sarcastically. 

 

“Come on, Simon. She is trying. And that says a lot when it comes to her” Wille said. 

 

“I know, sorry” Simon breathed out, knowing how tense the relationship between Wille and his mom in particular could be. 

 

“Hey, by the way…I'm in Stockholm with Clara next week doing PR and stuff. Getting started on the album.”

 

“Ohh cool. Where are you staying?” Wille asked, trying to hide his excitement. 

 

“Clara’s sofa?” Simon said as a question. 

 

“Or you could stay at my place?” Wille asked shyly. “I only have school next week. We could hang out or something?” 

 

“Sure, I could hang out and stuff with my boyfriend,” Simon teased.

 

“Shut up, Simon. I love you” Wille only said, his smile clear even through the phone. 

 

“Love you too, Wille” Simon replied happily. 

—-

 

Simon was standing in Wille’s room, suitcase by his side and Wille’s hand in his. The room had gotten a lot more personal since the first time Simon had been there. To start with there were a lot of green plants everywhere. Simon had noticed them before but it was only now he was taking them all in. They made the room feel like a hidden oasis and Simon liked it. 

 

On the writing desk balancing up against the wall was the poster Simon had gifted Wille for his birthday last year. It was nice to see that Wille somehow tried to make this room his safe place.  

 

“Remind me again… What’s your schedule for the week?” Wille asked, taking Simon’s suitcase and starting to unpack it. 

 

“Ohh umm, this evening I have a recording session in the studio, tomorrow Clara and I are going to be on the morning tv, then I head back to the studio for the rest of the day. Tuesday we are doing a radio interview before I have studio time. That evening I need to do the cover shoot for the album too, I think.” Simon stopped and looked at Wille who was busy unpacking Simon’s stuff. “I’m sorry, love. But I guess I’ll have a pretty busy week ahead of me.” 

 

“It’s okay,” Wille sighed and dropped a t-shirt down on the bed. “I know you were supposed to do all of this. I know it’s important. You are important, Simon. But I just can’t help feeling a little left out.” 

 

“Ohh, Wille,” Simon said and hurried over to wrap his prince in a loving embrace. “I’ll always have time for you. You’re always with me. Right here!” Simon pointed at his heart, making sure Wille knew what he meant. 

 

Wille let his head drop to Simon’s shoulder and for a while they just stood there together, enjoying being together. 

 

“Mama and Papa are not home today. You want to have dinner with Erik and Tindra?” Wille then mumbled from somewhere near Simon’s neck.

 

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Simon whispered. “I haven’t seen them for so long.” 

 

Simon arrived in the kitchen alone because Wille had to go by the bathroom before their meal. In the kitchen, Simon found Tindra who was making their supper together with none other than Erik. 

 

“Umm, hey,” Simon said, unsure of himself. 

 

“Hey, Simon!” Tindra’s soft voice was heard. “It’s so nice to see you again. How are you?” Before Simon knew it he was wrapped in a tight hug by the blonde girl. 

 

“Tindra relax. Let the poor boy breathe,” Erik said from the chair he was sitting at.

 

“Hey, Erik,” Simon said from underneath Tindra’s arms. 

 

“Get your hands away from my boyfriend” Wille suddenly said, walking into the kitchen. “You’ve got your own boyfriend, Tindra. Go hug him. I got dibs on Simon” Wille said as he gently removed Tindra’s arms from Simon and replaced them with his own. 

 

“Much better” mumbled Wille into Simon’s curls. 

 

“Jealous much?” Erik laughed at his younger brother before reaching out for Tindra and pulling her into a hug. 

 

“I’m allowed to be jealous. He’s practically gone all week,” Wille huffed 

 

“Aww, my poor baby brother,” Erik laughed at Wille. It earned him a not-so-polite hand gesture from Wille. 

 

Simon smiled at their interactions. It was incredibly nice to watch the two brothers interact together like this. It reminded him of his own relationship with Sara, but there was also a little stab in his heart because it also reminded him of how lonely Wille must have been throughout last summer.

 

He cleared his throat.

 

“So, what’s for supper?” Simon asked into the room.

 

“Nothing fancy” Tindra answered with a smile. “I just made a quick Wallenbergare. I used my mom’s recipe.” 

 

“It smells delicious!” Wille chimed in still wrapping himself around Simon. 

 

“It is,” Erik simply said. 

 

Eventually, Simon got Wille peeled off himself and he started to set the table. The two princes were apparently too busy bickering over who was the better cook. Simon would put his money on Erik knowing how poorly Wille actually was in the kitchen.

 

The dish was fantastic. Simon rarely got it at home, because his mom insisted on making Venezuelan food too often. The chatting went smoothly throughout supper but when they were almost done Erik cleared his voice as if he was going to make an announcement.

 

“Wille?” he asked.

 

Wille looked at his brother with concern written on his face. 

 

“I owe you an apology,” Erik continued.

 

“What for?” Wille asked, puzzled. 

 

“This summer. Everything you had to do because I couldn’t…” the older brother stopped, his eyes searching for Tindra who in a second was at Erik's side. “I feel like it’s not fair to you that you had to do any of those things this summer and fall. I didn’t have to do that when I was your age. It wasn’t fair that Mama put all that on you.” 

 

“Erik,” Wille whispered with moist eyes. “It wasn’t on purpose. It was an accident and no one knew how long you were out for. No one knew if you would wake up. I had to do it.” 

 

“But…  I just. You and Simon. And he is like the best thing that has happened to you, Wille. I almost took that away from you” Erik said, as a tear slipped down his face.

 

“Look at me Erik,” Wille said with a stern voice that made everyone look at him. “It was not your fault. Mama freaked out, as could only be expected. I freaked out. I only wanted to make you proud of me for taking over. I didn’t want you to think that it was bad. It was just something that had to be done. Comes with our family, right?” Wille tried to smile, but it wasn’t convincing.

 

Simon wrapped his arms around Wille, kissing his cheek. 

 

“I really love you, Wille. You've got such a big heart. You’re so kind,” Simon said in a low voice. 

 

Wille smiled at him, pecking him by the lips.

 

“See, this is what I mean,” Erik interrupted their moment. “You two are so sickeningly in love and I almost ruined everything between you because I was in a freaking accident!” 

 

“Relax, babe,” Tindra kindly said.

 

“I swear, Tindra. If these two get married before the two of us, I’m not even surprised” Erik answered.

 

Simon’s eyes almost popped out of his face from that comment, which made Wille laugh a bit. Wille took Simon’s hand, squeezing it gently. 

 

“Simon doesn’t believe in marriage, Erik. I’m quite sure you will beat us in that” Wille baldy said.

 

If Simon’s heart beat a bit faster by that statement, Simon didn’t show it to anyone. Wille talking about marriage like it was a given that they would always be together was like pure adrenaline to him. He was so in love with the youngest prince of Sweden.

Chapter 28: Chapter 28

Summary:

Erik was doing better too and that meant Wille was allowed to head back to Hillerska in their third and final year. When Wille had told Simon that, Simon had started crying happy tears at the prospect of being able to see Wille every day just like last school year. 

Notes:

Tomorrow is my birthday – Yaaay! So, you will get a chapter today, this fine Sunday. You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM
There are further notes in the end comments 😊

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Spring crept up on them way sooner than Simon had expected. Sure, he knew that after February came March and with that also the Spring. 

 

Simon had just been so busy with his upcoming album that time had flown by without him noticing it. He had missed the Valentine's ball this year. Not that it bothered him in the slightest that Wille couldn’t be there, but he felt kind of sad about not being there for Frederika. It had been a year since she had tried to confess her love to Stella in a very drunken state and instead ended up in the emergency room – something she would very much like to forget about. It had almost been a year of her being heartbroken and moping around the school with Simon who hadn’t been in a good mood ever since Erik's accident – or so their friends claimed. 

 

Now Simon was in a good place. He and Wille handled their long-distance relationship as smoothly as two almost 18-year olds could. He was happy about how his album would turn out. It only needed final mixing and then it would be ready for release in May. His popularity had grown within Sweden, Norway, and even some Latin American countries, which was a true honor for him. He often talked about his Venezuelan roots in interviews and didn’t hide how proud he was to speak both Spanish and Swedish fluently. It was something Sara didn’t like him to speak about. She had always felt a strange shame knowing she was “mixed breed” as August would have put it. When it came to August, their relationship hadn’t changed in the slightest. He was still over-the-top obnoxious and thought way too highly of himself, but Simon had to give him some credit for the way he was tackling the whole pregnancy thing. He had stayed in Göteborg to study this whole time but he had also made an effort to actually see Sara, talk to her, and take an interest in their unborn child. And now that Sara had taken some leave from school, her only weeks away from giving birth, Simon noticed that the two of them were on the phone every morning before August attended his courses at University. It was comforting that his sister and that uptight idiot that August was had made it work. And they seemed happy together, in their own way. 

 

Sara had stubbornly forced their mom to let her take the sick exams in the late summer so she could go back to school in August and finish her last year. She had already looked up daycares and was well-prepared when it came to all the practical stuff. 

 

Erik was doing better too and that meant Wille was allowed to head back to Hillerska in their third and final year. When Wille had told Simon that, Simon had started crying happy tears at the prospect of being able to see Wille every day just like last school year. 

 

It was a Wednesday afternoon when Wille Facetimed Simon greeting Simon together with Erik of all people. 

 

“Hey, beautiful!” Wille happily greeted Simon. 

 

“Umm, hey,” Simon said, sitting up. “Why are you calling me beautiful? You never say that like this.” 

 

Wille blushed looking slightly over at Erik. 

 

“So, Simon. I wanted to tell you this before it became official,” Erik took over the conversation leaving his younger brother to blush.

 

“Okay?” Simon said. 

 

“Tindra and I will get married the second weekend in December this year!” Erik almost shouted.

 

“Ohh wow. I'm so happy for you two, Erik! A winter wonderland wedding sounds amazing!” Simon happily replied. 

 

“I want you to be my plus one!” Wille blurted out sounding too excited for his own good. 

 

“What?” was all Simon could manage to say. 

 

“We talked it over with Mama and Papa and it’s okay,” Wille said happily like this was the best thing that could ever happen to them.

 

“Well, Wille is going to be my best man, and since the two of you are not engaged or married you have to come as Tindra’s and my friend. So you have to sit alone in the church,” Erik explained. “But you will sit together at dinner and all.”

 

“Ohh,” Simon said, taking it all in. The Queen giving permission for Simon to attend the royal wedding was big. It was huge in fact. Then a thought popped into his mind. “Will it always be like that? Me not being allowed to arrive at an event together with Wille as my partner if we don’t get married?”

 

“It’s how it is right now, Simon,” Wille sighed, having clearly thought about this himself. “We are still way too young to think about that anyway, so let’s just celebrate the small win this is.”

 

“Okay, but are you sure?” Simon asked not quite believing that the Queen was on board with all this. 

 

“I’m sure, Simon,” Wille smiled at Simon. “Both Erik and I had some pretty good arguments to convince her, so she had to agree. You remember our bucket list?”

 

“I remember it, yes. What about it?” Simon answered. 

 

“Well, we can finally cross off the second thing on the list. We’ve been to the spa together and now we’re going to Erik’s wedding together,” Wille happily said.

 

Simon rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. His boyfriend was such a sap sometimes. 

 

“It should only be right to have you at our wedding, Simon,” Erik interrupted their sappy exchange. “Mama, me, everybody here at court has been so harsh on you guys ever since… you know. Before that Mama had nothing against you.”

 

“Yeah, before the accident I just had casual conversations with her about our sex life at a friendly family dinner. So normal, Erik,” Simon said, looking disgusted. “How on earth has she ever been a fan of Wille and me? She wanted him to deny our relationship if he had just been a bit more hidden in that picture.”

 

“Simon, relax,” Wille said carefully. “She is trying now, you know. Everybody is.” 

 

Simon felt enraged even though he knew he should be happy for Erik and the fact that he could attend the wedding at all, but he was so angry all of a sudden. All the hidden rage and suppressed anger came up to the surface now and he couldn’t help it. 

 

“I'm just so done with people telling us how to go about our relationship, Wille!” Simon yelled at the camera, pulling at his long curls. So tired!” 

 

“I know, love. Me too, but let’s take this as a positive thing. It will get better. We will get older and Mama has to understand that this,” he gestured his fingers between himself and Simon. “This is not just a fling or a teenage rebellion. This is the two of us being deeply in love.” 

 

“When you say it like that you make it sound so easy, Wille!” Simon said, suddenly feeling silly for his angry outburst. 

 

“If anyone can prove Mama wrong it’s the two of you!” Erik cheered. “I ship you!” 

 

“Shut up, Erik. You are annoying,” Wille scolded but still looked proud of that statement.

 

“Both of you are ridiculous,” Simon laughed, wondering how this was even a conversation he was a part of.

 

“You still love us!” Wille smiled at Simon.

 

“I still love you, Wille. Not so much Erik,” Simon winked at Wille. “No offense, Erik.” 

 

“None was taken,” Erik smiled back. “So, Simon. Will you be attending my wedding?” 

 

“Sure! But I want to sit next to that gorgeous brother of yours throughout the dinner. I’ve heard that he is quite easy on the eye and lovely to conversate with,” Simon mugged.

 

Wille was blushing like crazy. Even after all this time Simon could still make the blonde boy blush in the prettiest way just by saying something silly like that. Simon liked that. He loved that, actually.

 

“Sara, I’m home!” Simon yelled when stepping inside their house. It was the middle of March; Sara had passed her due date by 4 days now, leaving the Eriksson family on edge with anticipation. 

 

Today had been one of those school days that just sucked big time. Maria had been especially obnoxious due to an Instagram post that Simon had made the day before telling his fans that his album would be released May 4th and she had spent the whole day bugging Simon and his friends. She wanted to know if she could get a hold of the album earlier than the official release date. When she finally had gathered enough courage to ask Simon exactly that Simon had just looked at her before answering plainly, “Of course you can’t, Maria. It’s an official release date because that’s the date the album will be released.” He had then turned around and power walked to his own class, annoyed at his crazy stalker who also happened to be his number one fan.

 

He knew he had to be civil around her because she could stir up something bad if he didn’t, but sometimes he just felt like screaming in her face that she should leave him alone for good. He knew better, so instead he opted to just complain to Wille, Frederika, and Clara about her. After all – what were friends for? 

 

“Sara? Where are you?” Simon yelled again but he didn’t hear an answer. He took off his jacket and shoes and looked in the living room and then the kitchen. She wasn’t there. 

He walked over to her room and knocked on the door.

 

“Sara?” he called before opening the door. The room was dark and Sara was lying on her bed curled together in a ball, shaking all over. 

 

“Hey, Sara. What's happening?” Simon asked, confused as he rushed over to her side.

 

“Simon,” Sara just said in a low voice. 

 

Simon placed a hand on her head stroking her hair.

 

“Omg, Sara. You are burning up here. Do you have a fever?” Simon asked, sending her a concerned look. She didn’t answer him. Just kept lying curled up on herself. 

 

“I’ll get the thermometer. Just hold on okay,” Simon said in a slight panic before running out of the room and into the bathroom. He didn’t understand. She had been fine that morning when he had left together with his mom. Sara had been fine, so why wasn’t she now? What happened? What was he supposed to do? 

 

He ran back to Sara’s room once he had located the thermometer. When he saw her temperature he knelt down on the floor. She was sporting a very high fever. Did it have something to do with the baby? 

 

“Did you call the hospital and talk with a midwife?” he asked carefully, almost anticipating the answer she would give him. She shook her head no. 

 

“Okay, I’m going to call and talk with them. You can't stay like this,” Simon decided before finding his phone and dialing the number to the hospital. 

 

Once he had gotten through to a midwife he explained Sara’s condition. The midwife hadn’t sounded too concerned but advised them to come to the hospital to get Sara checked just to be sure. Then Simon called a taxi, found Sara’s hospital bag, and helped Sara out of the bed and into some flip-flops and her jacket. She was in a lot of pain. A fool could see that, but Simon had decided that they needed to go to the hospital to get Sara and the baby checked.

When they both were securely in the taxi Simon texted their mom.

 

Simon

Hey, Mama. Please do not panic, but I’m taking Sara to the hospital. She has a high fever and they want to check her and the baby. 

 

He knew Linda would be at work for at least 3 hours more so she wouldn’t answer right away, but she should know. Then he did the same for August. 

 

Simon

Hey, August, Please do not panic, but I’m taking Sara to the hospital. She has a high fever and they want to check her and the baby. 

 

August 

Is she okay?! 

 

Simon 

We don’t know that yet. I’ll text you as soon as we know. 

 

August 

I’m on my way but traffic will probably suck at this time of day. Be there as soon as I can.

 

Simon didn’t know what to answer August. He wasn’t used to August being concerned like this, putting someone before himself. It was strange. 

 

At the hospital, Simon’s heart started to beat a bit faster. He didn’t like hospitals. There was something about them that made him feel uncomfortable. 

 

When they announced that Sara had arrived she was taken into a pre-examination room where electrodes were placed all over her body. Simon looked at his sister in awe. Even though she was sick she showed no sign of panic or unease. She was calm and collected. 

 

“Okay, Sara. This is what's going to happen,” a midwife, Amalia, said. “We need to measure your child’s heart rate and yours. Then we will check your blood pressure and make a plan from there.” 

 

Sara nodded, as did Simon. 

 

“Do you want your brother to be here?” Amalia then asked. 

 

“Yes, please,” Sara whispered, turning her head to look at Simon. “Please stay, Simme.” 

 

Simon took her hand. “I’m staying right here, Sara. Don’t worry about that.” 

 

The midwife measured Sara’s blood pressure one, two, and three times, looked at her pulse, looked at something else that Simon guessed was the baby’s pulse, then excused herself to go consult with a co-worker. 

 

When she came back she had her co-worker with her. They looked at the numbers once more and nodded to each other. 

 

“Sara, we can see that you already have some small contractions which are okay, nothing wrong with that. But we can also see that the baby’s pulse is dropping every time you have a contraction so I will advise you to push the labor forward by breaking your water,” Amalia explained. 

 

“Ohh, okay,” Sara said. “How does that work?” 

 

The midwife carefully explained to Sara what was going to happen and then helped her into a standing position so she could walk the way to the actual delivery room. Simon followed along behind them, carrying their bags and personal belongings. 

 

Simon refused to look at Sara while they examined her and readied themself to poke a hole in the placenta. He held her hand but looked at the wall behind the bed. He was 100% gay, how in the world had he ended up in a delivery room of all places?! This was insane. 

 

“Change of plans, dear,” Amalia suddenly said. Simon looked behind his shoulder to look at the midwife. 

 

“The placenta fluid is greenish, so we need to get your child out now. We need to perform an emergency c-section. I'll just notify the doctor and then we will transport you to the operating room and get you ready for an epidural.”

 

“Can Simon come with me?” Sara asked. Simon could hear an edge to her voice revealing that she was slightly afraid now.

 

As it turned out Simon was allowed to come with Sara, he just needed to scrub his hands and put on the hygienic gear and then he was good to go. It all felt like a dream when he entered the operating room. Sara was lying in the middle of the room, her arms strapped down to her sides so she wouldn’t move them by accident. Simon was told to stand by her side and hold her hand if she allowed it. She more than happily gestured for Simon to take her hand. A giant curtain was shielding their view from the actual procedure. Something Simon was grateful for. 

 

“It’s happening, Simon,” Sara whispered, holding his hand tight. 

 

“I know, Sara. Are you okay?” Simon asked worriedly. 

 

“Yeah, just wish Mama could be here,” she nodded with moist eyes. 

 

“I know, me too, Sara” Simon agreed. 

 

“I’m happy you are here though,” Sara then said, looking at Simon with honesty. “Although you look silly with that blue hat on, hiding all your curls!”

 

Simon laughed at her. “And how do you think you look, huh?”

 

At that moment a baby's cry was heard in the room startling both Sara and Simon. A nurse quickly removed the restraints on Sara so she could use her arms and a very newborn naked baby was placed on Sara’s chest. 

 

“Congratulations, Sara. You gave birth to a healthy little girl!” the doctor said to Sara. 

 

Simon looked down at the little human being held tight by his crying sister. 

 

“She’s beautiful, Sara,” Simon whispered. 

 

Sara just nodded, too fascinated by her newborn child. 

 

Wille

I can’t believe Sara’s a mom now…

 

Simon

I can’t believe that my Mama is a grandma…

 

Wille

AND… You’re an uncle 

 

Simon

Please stop, I can’t… It’s too much!

 

Wille

How are all your friends taking it? 

 

Simon

They’re all pretty cool about it all. They haven’t visited yet, but Sara is rather overwhelmed by it all. But they are all gushing over the baby pictures.

 

Wille

It is a cute baby though – who would have thought that August could be a part of something that cute?

 

Simon

I guess it’s a good thing that the Eriksson genes are pure cuteness

 

Wille

Good thing indeed! 

 

Wille

Are you ready for next weekend?

 

Simon

More than ready. It’s been way too long since I’ve last seen you!

 

Wille

Yeah, I feel the same!

 

Simon

It’s just so odd. I miss you so much all the time

 

Wille

How is that weird? I miss you too

 

Simon

But like, we’ve been together for so long now and have been doing this long-distance thing for so long. I should be used to you not being around. 

 

Wille

But you like me, right?

 

Simon

That’s just a stupid question, Wille. I love you, you know that!

 

Wille

Well, then I guess it’s only natural to miss me. You missing the one you love is a good thing, Simon. Think of what it would mean if you didn’t miss me!

 

Simon

Since when have you become the smart one between the two of us?

 

Wille

Since you’re being a dumbass <3  

 

Simon

respectfully, shut up, Wille <3

 

Wille

Make me!

 

Simon

I know how to make you shut up. Distance makes it hard for me to do that, though!

 

Wille

Tell me…

 

Simon

What?

 

Wille

Tell me how you plan on shutting me up, Simon

 

Simon

Wille! I’m sitting in the living room right now with my mama!

 

Wille

She doesn’t have to know how you’ll plan on shutting me up ;) 

 

Simon

Okay, umm. I’ll occupy your mouth with something I guess

 

Wille

That was weak, Simon. Try again

 

Simon

I’m too embarrassed right now… I can’t even… Wille!

 

Wille 

I know how I would do it…

 

Simon

Ohh….

 

Wille

I’ll get you down on your knees for me…

 

Simon

Wille?

 

Wille

I would undo my pants very slowly so you would be all fervently impatient. You are very impatient, did you know that?

 

Simon

Am not

 

Wille

I would tuck my fingers into your curls, so I could hold you in place, you know, to make sure you are quiet. Then I would let you suck me off.

 

Simon

OMG! Wille I’ll have to leave the living room now, hold on. 

 

Simon gave his mom a lame excuse about some forgotten homework before power-walking towards his room. Once inside he dialed his boyfriend. 

 

“Simon, hello. What do I owe the pleasure?” Wille’s voice was heard through the phone.

 

“Wille, you little shit! You’ve made me all kinds of horny now and you’re not here!” Simon hissed into the phone.

 

“Ohh,” Wille let out. Is it okay? Should I not have…”

 

“I’m just very frustrated right now, Wille” Simon continued. 

 

“I’m sorry, Simon. I didn’t… I thought that…” Wille hurriedly said.

 

“You’ll have to make me come now. It’s only fair!” Simon interrupted Wille’s apology.

 

“Ohh,” Wille said once again. “Are you in your room?”

 

“Yeah, I said I had homework that I needed to get done. Now go on. You would shut me up?” Simon placed himself on his bed, lazily sliding his palm up and down his half-hard dick. 

 

“Take off your pants first,” Wille said in a hoarse voice. “I need you to be able to feel everything.” 

 

Simon did as he was told, making sure that his door was securely locked and the curtains were drawn. 

 

“Okay, They’re off!” Simon said excitedly. They were doing this. They were actually doing this. 

 

“Okay, umm. Okay,” Wille said, some of his confidence from their text seemingly gone. “Okay, so you’re sucking my dick, umm. and umm…” 

 

“OMG, you are so bad at this, Wille,” Simon laughed at him. He couldn’t help it. He loved when Wille got all flustered. 

 

“Shut up, Simon. I’m trying here,” Wille complained into the phone.

 

“Mmm, sure you are, love,” Simon said suggestively. “So, I’m sucking you off, you’re tugging in my hair, I’m trying really hard to not say anything, concentrating really hard on the job you have given me” Simon palmed himself through the thin fabric of his boxers. 

 

“OMG, Simon,” Wille whined. “Now it’s me who has to get rid of my pants, just a sec!”

 

“Wait, you’re still wearing pants?” Simon asked, amazed. 

 

“Not anymore, go on!” Wille cheekily said into the phone.

 

“Okay, I’m doing the thing you love. The thing with my tongue where I slide it over the slit before circling it around your dick” Simon said, trying to sound sexy, but he thought that he just sounded like a sick baby seal.

 

“Yes, please,” Wille whispered, which made Simon chuckle. Apparently, Wille was a bit horny too.

 

“I’ll start going faster, you know how hard it is for me to stay quiet. Bopping my head up and down, making you feel so good.” His dick was in his hand now and he made sure to pump it nice and slowly so he could last longer. 

 

“Are you touching yourself, Wille?” Simon then asked, needing to know that they were on the same page with this conversation.  

 

“Umm, yeah,” Wille breathed, making Simon’s belly swoop. “You feel so good, Simon. Want more, you…”

 

“I know, baby. Me too!” Simon agreed with Wille, not noticing the term of endearment he just used.  

 

“Love you so much, Simon,” Wille mumbled into the phone clearly close. His voice always became deeper when he was near the edge. Simon started to speed up his strokes, breathing heavily into the phone. 

 

“Love you too, so close now, Wille,” Simon managed to mumble.

 

“Mmm, come, love. Don’t hold back” Wille said in his deep voice. “I want to hear you when you come!”

 

That sent Simon over the edge and he let go, whining Wille’s name into the phone while simultaneously trying to be quiet enough as to not disturb the whole house. He didn’t think that he succeeded that well, but he gave himself points for his effort. As he came down from his cum-induced high he could hear that Wille was close too and a second later a grunt or two was heard through the phone. 

 

“Omg,” Wille finally said, breathing heavily.

 

“Yep, that just happened,” Simon said, smiling like a maniac.

 

“Was it okay?” Wille asked concerned. “We haven’t really talked that much about what we want. Not for a while at least.”

 

“It was okay I guess,” Simon thought out loud. “But I still prefer the real deal.”

 

“Ohh me too, just say the word and the real deal is happening!” Wille babbled.

 

“Wille shut up, you’re not making any sense right now!” Simon just laughed at him. 

 

“Simon?” Wille just asked.

 

“Yeah?” Simon answered, looking around his room for something to clean his cum filled hands and stomach.

 

“What do you want? Like, do you fantasize about stuff?” Wille whispered.

 

“Are we going to talk about that now?” Simon asked, confused. 

 

“Well, we will both be stuttering, embarrassed messes if we tried to talk about it face-to-face,” Wille continued. 

 

“I hate that you are actually right on this one, Wille,” Simon complained. “I just need to find some clean boxers to wear, one moment.” He frantically looked through his drawer in the search of some boxers. After slipping them on he put his pants back on and dropped back onto the bed. 

 

“Okay, I’m back. You go first,” Simon said into his phone.

 

“Okay, here it goes. Umm, just don’t… don’t freak out okay?” Wille said nervously. 

 

“I promise,” Simon answered. 

 

“Okay, so I obviously want to, like, go all the way with you. Like,” there was a slight pause. “I’ve just always imagined it would be you who would fuck me the first time around, you know. And that thought has just been stuck in my head for so long…”

 

“Ohh,” Simon breathed.

 

“That’s…Is that okay?” Wille asked hesitantly.

 

“Mmm, yep. I’m on board with that, just say the word” Simon said a bit too quickly. It made Wille chuckle.

 

“Also,” Wille continued. “Like a couple of nights ago I had this dream, about like… where you were doing stuff to me…”

 

“What stuff?” Simon asked, his curiosity awakened. 

 

“Like maybe… This is so stupid, but in my dream, you had me blindfolded, and umm, I… I wasn’t allowed to do anything before you told me to… and umm, it was just really hot, Simon” Wille let out an exhale, clearly relieved to have this out in the open. 

 

“Wille?” Simon asked, stunned. “You want me to, I don’t know, dominate you?” 

 

“I umm, I don’t know. Not like full-on ropes and whips and stuff, just like… Telling me what to do and what’s allowed I guess” Wille tried to explain.

 

“I… I guess we could try that. It’s just. Maybe not now?” Simon asked cautiously. “I’m just. What if I tell you something you don’t like or I hurt you or… OMG, Wille!”

 

“What?!” Wille asked, frightened.

 

“Is this a mommy complex?” Simon asked. “Like, your mom is always telling you want to do and stuff and…”

 

There was silence on the line for a couple of moments, neither of the boys saying anything, but rather just digesting everything that had just been said. 

 

“Okay, so fucking Wille is high on our list right now, the other thing is a little lower for now,” Simon interrupted the silence between them. 

 

“OMG, you have a list, Simon?” Wille laughed. “You have a sex list?” 

 

“Shut up, Wille!” Simon groaned. 

 

“Okay, okay,” Wille kept laughing. “It’s your turn now.” 

 

“Ohh, I just. Umm, Yeah, like the same as you started with but maybe just, like, you do that to me…” Simon held a pause to gather his thoughts. This was Wille. He was safe with Wille. “And maybe in your shower. I like how it looks. Peaceful and like it’s some part of Avatar kind of..”

 

“Avatar?” Wille asked amused. “Is that because of all the plants?”

 

“Yeah,” Simon admitted

 

“OMG! I’m turning you into a plant boy! This is so awesome, Simon!” Wille cheered.

 

“You’re not turning me into anything, Wille” Simon snickered at him. “I just like the aesthetic of the room.” 

 

“Okay, so shower sex in an Avatar room is on the list too,” Wille said.

 

“This has turned out to be one of the strangest conversations we’ve ever had,” Simon concluded. 

 

“It really has, but I still love you,” Wille said.

 

“I love you too, Wille” Simon said back to his beautiful, perfect boyfriend. 

 

Life with a  baby in the house was not peachy. Even though August had moved in for the time being doing some of his university courses online, the Eriksson house was small and that didn’t give any of the people living there much privacy. 

 

Simon was often woken by the baby’s cry in the night and even though his little niece was quick to fall back asleep, he wasn’t. He kept thinking about his upcoming album, Wille’s birthday, and all the exams that were just around the corner. After all the exams he couldn’t even relax because most of his summer was booked with small concerts, interviews, festivals, and live appearances. All of that was great, but he needed a break soon to recharge his batteries. That’s why he was so excited to visit Wille the weekend of his birthday. It fit so well that Wille’s birthday was a Saturday this year.

 

As soon as school was finished for the day, the Friday before Wille’s birthday, Simon jumped on the train to ride the long way to Stockholm. 

 

He made sure to update his socials on his way, hearing Daniel’s voice in the back of his head, you have to engage your audience, Simon!

 

He posted a photo Frederika had snapped of him early that week on their way to meet up with Rush and Ayub. Frederika had somehow ended up merging herself into their little friend group of three, spending an awful lot of time together with Rosh. 

 

SimonErikssonOfficial Today is a good day to visit Stockholm, don’t you think?

 

PinkyBlond FIRST LIKE! <3

ThatWOne Stunning. Today is a very good day to visit Stockholm! 

ClaraTheRealOne It’s the wrong time - I’m not in Stockholm right now, Simon! <3

 

At the station, a black car was there to pick up Simon. Nobody took any notice of the car, but Simon knew that they would if they had the slightest idea of who was inside the car. 

 

“Hello, love,” Wille greeted Simon, pecking him on the lips as soon as they were secure in the back of the car. 

 

“Hey, Wille. Missed you,” Simon said, snapping his seatbelt shut before the car took off into the heavy afternoon Stockholm traffic. 

 

“How are you?” Wille asked tentatively. 

 

“Good, you?” Simon answered. “Why are you asking me that?” 

 

“Just checking, I’m fine too by the way,” Wille smiled at him. “You want to go out tonight?”

 

“Go out? What do you mean?” Simon asked, perplexed. 

 

“Like, on a date. Go have dinner somewhere?” Wille shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal.

 

“You remember our last date, don’t you?” Simon said, not believing what Wille had just asked him.

 

“Yes, but that was in Bjärstad. This is Stockholm. People are used to seeing me here, kind of. And I think it’s stupid that we hide inside all the time” Wille sternly said. 

 

“Since when are you okay with us being in public like that?” Simon wondered out loud, not following Wille. Where did all of this come from? 

 

“I don’t know,” Wille said, looking away from Simon. “I’ve been thinking these last couple of days. About a lot of things but also about the two of us. And it sucks that we have to kind of hide something that everybody sort of already knows. I’m tired of doing that! I’m tired of Mama and Papa telling me how to act and be portrayed in public. I want the public to know me as I am. And I happen to be very much in love with you.” 

 

Simon looked at Wille in awe. Where in the world did this confidence come from? This was not the same Wille he had met in the forest of Hillerska when they were 16. This was a Wille who was grown up, forming his own opinions and having the courage to stand by them. 

 

“Not going to lie here, Wille. But you being this sure of yourself is kind of a turn-on for me!” Simon said as he leaned over for a soft kiss. 

 

The kiss turned into two or was it three? Simon didn’t count them, he just felt them. Felt the love between them, the certainty of each other, and the road they were headed towards together. The two of them against the world. They could do this; he was sure of that. 

 

“So, does that mean that you will have dinner with me tonight?” Wille asked when pulling slightly away from Simon.

 

Simon placed his forehead against Wille’s. It was not the most comfortable position to be in, they were in a car after all, but he needed to feel close to Wille. 

 

“Yes,” Simon groaned. “I’ll go out with you!”

 

“Nice,” Wille smiled. “I've already reserved a table for us! We're going to Alamaza.” 

 

“What’s that?” Simon asked, perplexed. 

 

“It’s this really cool Lebanese restaurant I know. One of Erik’s study friends took him there and then he took Tindra and I for dinner some weeks ago and it was so good Simon!” 

 

“Okay, relax. We’re having Lebanese food. You’re not hearing me complain are you?” Simon rolled his eyes, his boyfriend was such a dork when it came to things he was passionate about. 

 

“Did you know that Lebanon is the only Arab country that has no desert?” Wille asked too excited for what Simon felt right now. 

 

“No, I did not, Wille,” Simon said. 

 

“And archeologists have found both homo sapien bones and Neanderthal remains. It is so cool, Simon,” Wille began a rant about some old history stuff that Simon didn’t find too interesting, but he let his boyfriend talk for the sake of hearing his voice which was filled with excitement. “Scientists have found out that Neanderthals were a sub-species of Homo sapiens rather than a separate species and hence their scientific name is Homo sapiens neanderthalensis. There are features of Neanderthals in some Cro-Magnon populations.”

 

“Wille. I love you so very much, but I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Simon looked at Wille with a lost look in his eyes. That made Wille stop his rant just as the car stopped and the doors were opened for them. 

 

“Sorry,” Wille said forlornly. “I just thought it was interesting, and I didn’t know that much about Lebanon so I googled it and got lost in all kinds of topics.”

 

They walked out of the car and into Drottningholm together hand-in-hand. 

 

Saturday

 

Prince Wilhelm is having a romantic dinner with his fling

 

Friday evening, the night prior to his birthday, His Royal Highness Prince Wilhelm was spotted together with his longtime on-and-off-again boyfriend, Simon Eriksson. They were having a seemingly romantic dinner in a restaurant called Almaza. It’s a rare sight to see the two young men together out in public, and even rare to see them being affectionate with each other. 

The Prince and his Pop-Star sensation boyfriend were seemingly having a good time, laughing and joking together giving us no reason to believe that they are not together at the moment. 

 

Prince Wilhelm turns 18 years old today and is now a legal adult, but he still has one year left of gymnasium before he can take Studenten and begin his further studies. It is believed that Prince Wilhelm will attend the military just as his brother did before taking up any university courses. 

Simon Eriksson has previously in an Instagram post addressed that he has a partner with that he is very happy. Is it safe to assume that this partner is no one other than our little prince? And if that is so, does that mean that all of Simon’s lyrics are about his relationship with his very own prince charming? What do you think?  

 

Simon looked at his phone in disbelief. How in the world could this be called a story for a tabloid? It basically said nothing of value. Yes, they had been out to eat last evening and it had been nice, but a lot of couples went out to dine every night. They hadn’t done something out of the ordinary at all. 

 

He rolled over and looked at his sleeping boyfriend beside him. He was beautiful as he was lying butt naked, star-fished, like nothing in the world could bother him at all. Wille always looked so peaceful when he was asleep. 

 

Simon ran his fingers down Wille’s body with a touch that was so featherlight that it didn’t wake him. He deserved to be able to sleep in on his birthday. 

 

Wille had grown since they'd first met. Not only had he become taller, but he had also gotten wider along his chest. His arms were more toned and his cheekbones had lost their baby fat and stood out as sharp and really well-placed. He was pretty, no doubt about that. He still had his slim waist and hips that Simon loved so much, he was still gangly in some ways, even though he looked so much more like a man now. 

 

“Why are you looking at me while I’m asleep?” Wille whispered, startling Simon from his thoughts.

 

“Sorry, I thought you were asleep,” Simon whispered back to Wille. “Happy birthday, love.”

Simon bent over to place a soft kiss on Wille’s shoulder. Wille smiled, eyes still closed. 

 

“Mmm, keep doing that,” he mumbled.

 

“Doing what?” Simon teased, placing another soft kiss a bit closer to Wille’s peck. “This?” 

 

Wille only nodded, properly drifting back to sleep, but Simon kept kissing Wille, moving closer and closer to his chest, before changing direction and kissing his neck, jaw, nose, and eyes. He could sense that Wille smiled but otherwise the birthday child didn’t move. 

 

Simon moved his kisses downward. Caressing Wille’s chest with soft kisses, making sure not to leave any marks. The Queen would kill Simon if Wille sported any kind of love bites when they would have the birthday dinner later today. 

 

He let his hands run down Wille’s sides, caressing his ribs and being careful not to tickle him. When his hands found Wille’s hips he placed them on both hip bones and carefully moved his way down Wille’s body, peppering him with soft kisses all the way down to Wille’s dick, which clearly wasn’t asleep. 

 

He quickly glanced up at Wille who still had his eyes shut, but a soft smile painted across his face. This was his beautiful boyfriend. 

 

Slowly he stroked Wille’s dick a couple of times to see if Wille really was on board with what was going on before he placed his mouth around the erect dick and started to hollow his cheeks, moving his head up and down. Wille let out a hoarse moan, letting one hand drop to Simon’s hair, pulling it lightly. Simon smiled but kept going slowly sucking Wille off. After some time, Simon let go of Wille’s dick, which earned him a frustrated sound from Wille. 

 

“Shh, just a moment, babe. Just need to find something,” Simon comforted Wille, before quickly digging through the nightstand to find some lube. A second later he was back at it again, sucking, licking, pumping, but this time around he carefully lifted Wille’s hips a bit, so he could get access to his entrance. He circled his finger around Wille’s hole to get him to relax fully before he slowly started fingering him.

 

Wille wasn’t loud like Simon when they were at it. Opposite to Simon, Wille only let out small, deep grunts but his face said everything Simon needed to know about how Wille felt. Simon could see what he liked and what drove him crazy. It was a mesmerizing sight to see Wille like that, so vulnerable and honest. Not hiding any part of himself, just reacting on pure instinct. 

 

When Wille came it was to the sound of Simon’s hoarse voice whispering “ I love you” again and again until Simon couldn’t hold himself back and dropped down on top of Wille and captured his lips in a deep kiss. 

 

“Love you too,” Wille sleepily mumbled, holding Simon close to his bare chest. “Please feel free to wake me up like this every morning.”

 

“I would love to,” Simon chuckled.

 

“Someday,” Wille started, sniffing in the scent of Simon’s hair. “When you move to Stockholm, this needs to happen every morning.” 

 

Simon laughed and kissed Wille’s shoulder unable to contain the bubbly feeling that sentence made him feel. 

 

“And you just expect to be with me every morning when I move to Stockholm?” Simon smiled.

 

“Mmmhmm, I expect to be living with you when you move to Stockholm, Simon,” Wille just said, leaving Simon speechless. 

 

Wille’s birthday wasn’t much different than the one he had last year. They had a birthday brunch together with the Queen, the Prince Consort, and Erik and Tindra. The latter were the ones keeping the conversation going. To say that the mood was rather tense between Wille’s parents and Simon was an understatement. Simon knew about the Queen’s dislike of his lyrics and what he intended to keep doing, but she was acting civilly, so Simon was too. As their tradition had it, Wille got his birthday gifts at the brunch. His parents got him a new pair of sneakers, Nike air, all white. Wille thanked them politely claiming he was happy about the gift, but Simon could clearly hear that it wasn’t that sincere. When it was Erik’s turn to give his present to Wille, Erik cleared his throat and looked at both Wille and Simon. 

 

“So, this is actually a birthday gift for the both of you,” Erik started. “We really wanted to give you something that could make up for the lost time. I've cursed the two of you, with the accident and all that.”

 

“Erik, you didn’t…” Wille started but stopped when Erik’s firm hand landed on his shoulder.

 

“I’ve never seen you as happy as when you are with Simon. The two of you are perfect for each other, Wille.” Both princes glanced at their parents who sat silently at the other side of the table. 

 

“So, this is for the both of you from Tindra and me,” Erik ended his small speech, handing Wille an envelope.

 

Wille looked at Simon before he opened the envelope with shaking hands. Inside were two plane tickets to Italy dated for late June. “Erik?” Wille just said.

 

“We have rented a small house for the two of you too,” Tindra said in a soft voice. “It should be quite private.” She winked at Simon.

 

“Thanks,” Simon said breathlessly, “But… I… I might need to work all summer again.” 

 

“I cleared it with your management,” Erik said, smiling like a maniac. “Do you like it?”

 

“Do I like a vacation to Italy, to Lake Garda, together with my boyfriend, in a private estate for a week?” Wille asked, puzzled. “Of course. Thank you so much, guys!”

 

He lept into Erik’s arms giving him a hug before doing the same to Tindra. Simon soon followed, a big smile plastered on his lips. They were going on a vacation together this summer! He couldn’t believe it. 

 

“Well, now my gift is going to seem lame,” Simon said once they had finished all the hugging and thank yous. 

 

“Nothing from you is lame, Simon,” Wille said, placing a small kiss on Simon’s lips before moving back to look at him. 

 

Simon could see that the Queen moved around on her chair uncomfortably. If it was because of their display of love or the fact that it was two boys who were showing affection toward each other, Simon couldn’t figure it out. 

 

He pushed a small box towards Wille, looking down at the table feeling dumb. This was a stupid gift. Not nearly as good as the one last year.

 

“So, umm,” he started. “I forgot to write a card but umm, happy birthday, Wille. I love you with all my heart. Please don’t lecture me about homo sapiens and Neanderthals ever again!”

 

The last part made Wille laugh out loud while the four others at the table just stared at them not understanding why it was funny. 

 

“Thank you, Simon,” Wille smiled, once his laughter had died down. 

 

He unwrapped his present and his eyes lit up with light when he saw the small box in front of him. Slowly he opened the box revealing a silver ring . He took it out with shaking hands, studying the ring, reading the inscription inside the band. “ It gets better .” It was their mantra. The thing they said was to keep each other going through all of their tough times.  

 

“It’s beautiful, Simon,” Wille said. He looked up at Simon with tears in his eyes, before putting the ring on his ring finger and engulfing Simon in a tight hug. 

 

“I love you so much,” he whispered into Simon’s ear so only the two of them could hear it. “You are my world!”

Notes:

1. In some countries, they would transport her (Sara) in a wheelchair or on the bed itself (since all beds have wheels). I am mostly certain that that is not the case in Sweden. We don’t do that here in Scandinavia. I researched it a lot when I was pregnant with my second child and put on bedrest so here, we just walk between the room if we are able to.

2. The restaurant that Simon and Wille is dining at is called Akmaza and is an actual restaurant in Stockholm.

Chapter 29: Chapter 29

Summary:

All the people started backing out of the room, not daring to spend any more time with the angry prince. Linda and the Queen were the last two who left the room, Linda closing the door with an apologetic smile towards them. 

Notes:

Love is creation. Healthy love is generative. A healthy partnership allows those in it to be more of themselves, not less.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Simon’s spring was hectic, to say the least. Juggling his time between schoolwork and doing PR for his album left him exhausted all the time. It didn’t help that August was still living with them. Sara and August often had their differences when it came to child care and they took it out on each other quite vocally. Therefore Simon often spent his afternoons at Hillerska hanging with his friends – and avoiding Maria – or at Ayub’s or Rosh's house. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than hearing about August’s uptight, old-school ideas about how to raise a child. It wasn’t that August was being mean to the little baby girl – who still didn’t have a name because the parents couldn’t agree on that either – it was just that he and Sara were so different in so many ways. They didn’t quite have the same values after all. Sometimes Simon would take his little niece on a walk in her stroller just to get some fresh air and some peace of mind, but when May finally arrived not even that helped him get peace of mind. 

 

The day for his album release was nearing and when it finally was the 2nd of May he was a bundle of nerves. He was literally shaking from excitement and nervousness and everything in between. Linda had taken a day off from work so she, for once, could be together with Simon when something big happened to him. They had booked themself a hotel room in Stockholm so they, or at least Linda, had a place to stay after the release party. Simon was not quite sure how the party would go. He knew Eva and Clara had arranged a big part of it for him and that Wille was somehow also a part of the planning. 

 

He knew it was going to be held at a restaurant called Winterviken. It had been an old dynamite factory at one point in time but was now a very well-functioning restaurant with a very rustic look.

 

Wille had greeted Linda and Simon at their hotel, following in tow when they were getting their room keys and ventured up the stairs to their room. Clearly, the staff at the hotel hadn’t expected to see either Simon or Wille when coming into work. The room was booked in Linda's name. The poor boy at the front desk almost tripped over his own feet and stumbled in his speech when he tried to explain how breakfast worked and when the check-out time was. 

Simon and Wille found it a bit amusing that they could have that effect on someone, but Linda was quick to scold them, calling the receptionist a poor boy who just had been star-struck. 

 

Friday at midnight on May the 1st, turning into May the 2nd, Simon’s first-ever album was released. People at the party cheered and screamed along to his songs when the album was played through the speakers. Simon was whirling Wille around in ecstasy and happiness, not caring how silly they looked. In the corner of his eyes, he could see Erik and Tindra in a tight embrace looking at them lovingly. He had not thought that they would attend the party either, but here they were, dressed in casual but still fancy clothing and all. And Wille was here. Wille had shown up for him!

 

Simon captured Wille in an embrace making the other boy stop his attempt at dancing.

 

“I love you,” Simon whispered so only Wille could hear it before kissing him like there wasn’t anyone else around. 

 

“I love you too,” Wille smiled at him when they finally broke apart. “I’m so proud of you, Simon. You really did it!” 

 

They leaned their foreheads together and just looked at each other in awe. At that moment it felt like everything was possible for them. Wille being a prince, Simon being an artist, but most importantly, them being together, supporting one another through all of their ups and downs. 

 

“Ohh come on!” Clara’s voice was heard over the music. “Stop being this boring and in love and come party with us, Simon!” 

 

She pulled a laughing Simon away from Wille, leading him further out onto the dance floor while she jumped up and down and sang along to some of the music she had heard sneak peeks of. Simon halfheartedly joined her in, dancing around and moving his hips as he always did when dancing. He could see that Wille had moved away from the dance floor, and was standing together with Linda by the wall. They were talking together, leaning slightly toward each other. Who would have thought that Linda and Wille would be able to speak like that if you took into consideration how Linda felt about Wille when she first learned about him.  

 

“Hey, Simon!” Clara’s voice once again caught his attention. “You are being so boring right now, just staring at your lame boyfriend!” she teased him.

 

Simon pushed Clara gently. “Sorry, but,” he exhaled before taking a deep breath. “I’m just so happy right now, you know? Everything is just really at a good place right now.” 

 

“Yeah, I can see that. You are much happier than last summer, to be honest,” Clara answered him.

 

“That’s because I wasn’t allowed to see or speak to my boyfriend last summer, Clara,” Simon said nonchalantly. 

 

“Wait what?!” Clara grabbed his wrist, turning him around so they were eye-to-eye. “Are you serious?” 

 

At that moment Simon knew he had slipped up and let out something that wasn't supposed to be said to anybody else. 

 

“I mean, it was hard to talk with all the things going on,” Simon tried to save himself but it was too late. Clara was already onto him. 

 

“Are you telling me that Wille wasn’t allowed to speak with you last summer?” Clara looked at Simon with a serious expression. 

 

Simon looked around to see if there was someone listening in on their conversation. It didn’t seem like it, so he pulled Clara away from the dance floor and sat her down in a lounge area made up of pallets and big pillows. 

 

“Okay, so,” Simon began. “After Erik’s accident, Wille’s mom went nuts and forbade Wille and I to see each other and text each other. Something about proper behavior for a crown prince or some shit like that!”

 

“What! That’s so fucked up, Simon,” Clara whispered. 

 

“Tell me about it. It was literally hell. It went from us seeing each other every day to not having a way of communicating at all!” Simon continued. 

 

“I’m so sorry to hear that, boo,” Clara said. “How are things now? I mean… he’s here together with Erik.” 

 

“Better, I still don’t think that their parents are thrilled about us being together, but what can they do? Everybody knows that we’re dating and it would look so bad if they didn’t allow us to do that so… there is that.” 

 

Clara put her head down on Simon’s shoulder, closing her eyes for a moment. 

 

“I’m so sorry to hear this, Simon,” she mumbled with closed eyes, the alcohol clearly doing its job on her. Simon just stroked her hair. 


SimonErikssonOfficial Thank you all for streaming my debut album this weekend! I’m so honored and humbled that you want to listen to my songs <3

 

PinkyBlond I love everything about it! OMG!!!!!!

Hamburgesa <3<3<3<3<3

MayaMulius This is the best thing that has ever happened to me! 

SoerenPM I’m already obsessed <3

 

+391 more comments

 

The next week was a busy one for Simon as well. While taking care of school, and avoiding Maria, he had to be in Stockholm on Wednesday and Thursday to do interviews. Wednesday was on Nyhetsmorgen as he had done before and Thursday was a radio show together with Clara on Rix FM. 

 

This time around he stayed at Clara’s place, the two of them have an unspoken agreement that he just did that now. He would much rather have stayed with Wille, but for some reason only the Queen knew, he wasn’t allowed to do that this time around, which was silly because Wille was 18 now and Simon would turn 18 in just a couple of weeks. Why did the Queen have to decide who Wille spent his free time with?

 

The tv studio looked the same as the last time Simon had been there and once more it was Andreas who had to interview him. Simon was excited, but he wasn’t as nervous as the last time around. He had done this before, his album had been well-received, and he knew the lyrics by heart for the song he had to perform. Everything would be okay.

 

Wille

Good luck, Simon!

 

Simon

Thanks <3 Love you!

 

Wille

Love you too! You were free later today, right?

 

Simon

Absolutely! We still have a date right?

 

Wille

Yeah, sure. I was just checking

 

Simon

I can’t wait. Got to go now, love.

 

Wille

<3

 

Simon was wired up and let into the studio where he first would sing his song and then do the interview following the same model as the last time he was there. As he stood near the small stage getting ready to sing all nerves disappeared and he grounded himself in the knowledge that he knew what to expect now. 

 

I'll be there to love you

If he leaves you

There to wipe your tears

If you need to

Maybe it's the phase

That you're going through

Still tired and awake

'Cause I miss you

 

He knew that the Queen and the whole PR team at the court would absolutely hate this lyric, but both himself and Wille were fully on board with it and what it meant to them. 

 

Tell me I can call

And I can come by

How can I send you letters I can't write

You know me

I'm not good at goodbyes

I can't see when the lights out

 

He finished the song, satisfied with the way he had sung it and performed it. Full of raw emotion just like it should be performed. 

 

“Woah, that was absolutely amazing, Simon!” Andreas cheered from the sofa, inviting Simon to sit down with him. 

 

“Thank you so much, Andreas,” Simon smiled at the man in front of him. 

 

“So, last time you were here you had just released your first single, but this time around it’s a whole album that has dropped. How are you feeling about that?” Andreas started. 

 

“Well, first of all, thanks for having me! I’m so excited to be here again,” Simon said politely, sending a big smile toward Andreas. “The last few months have been absolutely crazy and I’ve been working so hard on this album together with my whole team, and I’m just so very, very proud of it. I love every single song, I love the tone, the message, just everything!”

 

“If you had to choose, which song would you say is your favorite?” Andreas went on.

 

“As I said, I love them all. The song that I just sang for you, “Hurt Like We Did,” is a song I wrote last summer together with an incredibly talented songwriter called Eva, but one song has a very special place in my heart. It really represents the way I felt that summer and what I went through.”

 

“Is that so,” Andreas interrupted. “Do you want to elaborate on that?” 

 

“Ohh, not necessarily,” Simon smiled. “But, I can tell you that the song I personally love the most is the one called Breathe. It’s a song I wrote way back when I was 16 years old and it was barely changed during the creative process.” 

 

“Is that so, what’s that song about?” Andreas asked, clearly trying to fish for some information about Simon and Wille’s relationship. 

 

“So, I basically wrote it shortly after I met my partner and it was the first time I ever experienced feelings that great. The only way I could express them was by doing music and writing lyrics and I did that. It helped me a lot at that time.” 

 

"How so?" Andreaas asked, mesmerized by Simon’s explanations. Simon had never spoken about his relationship or partner in an interview. This was clearly something good for the tv-show. 

 

Wille and Simon had talked about this. What they would do whenever Simon was confronted with a personal question about the two of them. Even though they really wanted their privacy they had decided that Simon could comment on questions about them as long as it was relevant to his music and not just directly gossip. They hadn't told the PR team that, but they would find out sooner or later. 

 

“So, the thing is,” Simon started, carefully choosing his words. “After the photo of me and Wilhelm leaked back in December 2020, my former classmates, or not just classmates, but many of the students at my previous school had a lot to say about that, and they weren’t always nice things. Far from it, actually. I had to move schools to escape the hateful comments and take care of my own mental health, but it also made me realize early on how deep my feelings were, and the only way I could express it at that point was through music.” 

 

“I am so sorry to hear that, Simon,” Andreas said and sounded generally remorseful. “But in the end, something good came out of it. We got this song.”

 

“Yeah, definitely,” Simon said but was interrupted by Andreas once more. 

 

“And you got yourself a nice prince too,” the tv-host teased Simon.

 

“Yeah, well. To me he is just my partner, nothing more,” Simon clarified, feeling himself blush slightly. 

 

“That’s great!” Andreas said, leaving Simon feeling slightly confused. What kind of answer was that?

 

“Yeah,” Simon just said, throwing his curls away from his face. Maybe he should consider a haircut?  

 

“So, exams are coming up! Do you have time for school anymore or are you too occupied with your music now?” Andreas continued. 

 

“It is a tight program I have right now, but I have promised my mom that I will finish Studenten so I have to hang in and do my best,” Simon honestly said. “As for the summer, I have a lot of festivals where I will perform together with Clara but also alone.” 

 

“That sounds so exciting. Are you looking forward to that?” the host asked. As if Simon wouldn’t look forward to something like that.

 

“Yes, definitely! I’m both excited and also kind of nervous about it,” Simon concluded. 

 

“Well, I’m sure everything will go just fine!” Andreas commented. Andreas was closing the interview, Simon could hear that. “Thank you so much for coming here today, Simon. I wish you the best of luck with all of your ongoing projects!” 

 

Wille

Mama and Papa are freaking out!

 

Simon

Do I even need to ask why?

 

Wille

You said my name on live television. That was not something they thought you would do!

 

Simon

Well, we expected them to react like that. Are you okay with it though? 

 

Wille

Yeah, I’m fine with it. Are you okay with telling the world about Marieberg?

 

Simon

The whole world is maybe a stretch, Wille

 

Wille

You know what I mean <3

 

Simon

Sure, as long as it is as impersonal as today was. It might be doing something good to address the bullying and mental health problems we’ve been through. 

 

Wille

Can you mention how my cousin bullied me through rowing practice? 

 

Simon

Well, I could but I don’t think that would be a good idea <3

 

Wille

You better not. I think we will piss off Mama enough this week <3

 

Simon

Is it strange that I actually am looking forward to pissing her off? 

 

Wille

No, I feel the same way too…

 

Simon

I just fell more in love with you <3

 

Wille

Dork! Get your ass over here, I want to see you <3

 

Simon

Me or my ass?

 

Wille

Both <3 I’m finished with my lesson by 2 PM 

 

Simon

I’ll be there at 2 PM <3

 

 

The next day Simon met up with Clara in front of Rix FM’s studio. They were going to do an interview together talking about relationships and all kinds of subjects surrounding young love. As a last-minute suggestion, Simon had come up with the idea of taking their partners with them. The radio loved the idea, looking forward to hosting a prince for the first time. Manfred was a bit more hesitant about the idea, but somehow Clara had convinced him. Simon did not want to know exactly how she convinced him, but here they were. Four young people were on their way into a radio studio where they would guide other young people in love. What could go wrong?

 

Wille hadn't told anybody that he would participate in the interview and since it was in the afternoon, and he was done with classes he had excused himself and told the staff at the castle that he went out with Simon. 

 

Once they were placed in the studio, having greeted all the relevant staff, the two interviewers introduced Simon and Clara.

 

“Hello, hello, and welcome to two of the most talked about Swedish artists right now!” the female host started. “Here in the studio, I have Simon and Clara. I don’t think a further introduction is needed. How are you?” 

 

“Thank you, Tilde,” Clara started. “I can only speak for myself, but I’m doing super at the moment.” 

 

“Yeah, me too,” Simon agreed.

 

“Both of you have been super busy lately, can you tell us some of the things you’ve been up to?” Tilde asked. 

 

“Well, I’ve just dropped my first album, so I’ve been promoting it the last couple of weeks and just given interviews, interacted with fans, and yeah… Enjoying it all” Simon answered. 

 

“I have actually just finished filming a music video to a new single that will be out in some time,” Clara told. 

 

“Ohhh,” Tilde said, “is there anything more you can share together with us about that single?” 

 

“No, not at the moment, haha. But it is going to be awesome,” Clara laughed. 

 

“Well, enough chit-chat. You guys are here today to answer some questions some of our listeners have asked about love and relationships and everything that comes with that. But you are not alone today. Tell us who you’ve brought with you!” Tilde said, barely hiding her excitement. 

 

“I’ve invited my long-time boyfriend, Manfred, with me today,” Clara said, looking at Manfred.

 

“Hey,” Manfred said awkwardly into the microphone.

 

“Yeah and I’ve invited my boyfriend, Wilhelm with me today,” Simon said, holding his breath. 

 

“Hello,” Wille said in the usual voice he used when doing interviews. 

 

“Okay guys, how are you feeling about participating in this program?” Tilde asked the boyfriends. 

 

“I’m quite nervous. I’ll have to admit that,” Manfred started looking expectantly at Wille.

 

“Ohh yeah, me too,” Wille said. “I’ve never done an interview like this before.” 

 

“Well let’s just rip the bandage off and get to it. Simon, would you draw the first question from the pile here?” Tilde held out a box filled with small pieces of folded paper containing questions. 

 

“Okay, it says: I’ve just met this boy, I think I’m in love. How do I know for sure?” Simon read from the paper. 

 

“Ohh that’s a good one to start with,” Clara said. “I think it’s important to really feel inside of yourself what you really feel. Does that make sense?” 

 

“Umm, yeah like,” Simon started feeling so out of his element, “You can waste a lot of time on a crush mistaken for a real relationship if you do not differentiate the two. Intense attraction towards someone that you barely know is a crush – not love, at least in my opinion.” 

 

“I second that,” Wille chimed in, sending Simon a blinding smile. “Going out for dates with a cute guy from your class does not mean that you are in an exclusive relationship. Build the relationship slowly to avoid heartbreak and disappointment.”

 

“But would you think it’s okay to date multiple people at a time though?” Manfred asked Wille. 

 

“For me personally, no I wouldn’t,” Wille answered honestly. “Now I’m not the kind of guy who goes out on a lot of dates, but I wouldn’t try to build a relationship with multiple people at a time.”

 

“That sounds reasonable,” Clara said. “Like, use your time wisely to get to know the other person instead of throwing yourself around.” 

 

“Okay so, conclusion,” Simon said, “Get to know this boy and build a relationship with him before claiming it to be love.” 

 

“Okay my turn,” Clara said in a sing-song voice. “I feel like my girlfriend keeps disrespecting me and the way I am. Should I call it off with her?” 

 

“Respect is key,” Manfred said, not elaborating. He was really bad at giving interviews on the radio, Simon thought. 

 

“Okay, so. You definitely need to respect each other and each other's boundaries,” Clara said. “We don’t know the background story to this, but for me, I guess it depends on what it is that my partner would think is wrong with me. Is it a habit I developed in our relationship or before we started the relationship?” 

 

“Respect is a key component of any romantic relationship. Both parties should value each other’s opinions and boundaries. Teenage relationship problems come up when one disrespects the other in a relationship. It is important to speak out whenever you feel uncomfortable or disrespected. If he or she is not ready to listen, it is better to end the relationship and move on in pursuit of someone that respects you,” Simon said leaving everyone speechless in the studio by his bold statement. But Simon kind of had a hidden agenda for saying this. People who listened in would now know, hopefully, that he and Wille respected each other and gave each other space to be themselves, and listened to each other whenever it was needed.  

“When experiencing first love, it is difficult to draw a line between true love and a spasm of hormones, and I believe it is important to have talked about this with your partner so both of you know where you stand on different subjects. If you can’t find common ground on anything then maybe the two of you are just not meant to be,” Wille said in a very formal voice. Simon could hear how uncomfortable Wille was with being this personal and direct and it hurt him knowing that. 

 

“That is so true,” Clara agreed with him. “Teenage relationship problems definitely include first love. The feelings are usually intense – a mixture of dealing with new experiences, hormones, jealousy, confusion, and the impulse to engage in sex. Avoid having sex to prevent dire consequences.”

 

Simon kept looking at Wille because he had turned pale. Simon found his phone and waved it at Wille, knowing he was being extremely impolite. 

 

Simon

Are you okay?

 

Wille

No, can’t breathe

 

Simon

Excuse yourself for a minute?

 

Wille shook his head no so Simon opted to write a note on his phone and show it to Tilde.

 

Can you play a song? I think we just need a minute – please

 

Tilde looked at him puzzled but nodded. 

 

“Okay, that’s some interesting and mature points you guys have made. We will just take a break from our segment for a minute or two while we listen to one of Simon’s songs, “ Hurt Like We Did ,” Tilde quickly said. 

 

Simon quickly took off his headphones and hurried over to where Wille was seated. 

“Are you okay, love?” he whispered, trying to lock eyes with Wille.

 

Wille shook his head looking more and more defeated by the second. It hurt Simon more than he could describe seeing his Wille like that after he had been so secure in their rebellion against the Queen. They had talked everything through. They had agreed that they didn’t want to hide their relationship any longer. They just wanted to be them and show the world how sincere they were in their love for each other. They weren’t scared teenagers now, but both were well on their way to becoming adults. They had agreed on taking charge of their relationship for a change. That was why they were doing the radio interview together today, why Simon had started opening up about his love for Wille. But now, Wille was broken. 

 

“It’s just so scary, Simon,” Wille whispered. 

 

“I know, love,” Simon agreed and placed a small kiss on Wille’s temple before hugging him right there in the studio. “It gets better, we are in this together, remember?” Wille nodded, which had to be enough right now because the song was nearing its end and Simon knew that he at least had to go back to answering what now seemed like stupid questions about love. All he really wanted to do was shield Wille right now, but he had a job to do and it had been their idea in the first place to bring along the two boyfriends. They had thought they could handle being more open about their relationship, but it seemed it was too much for Wille at this moment. 

 

“I’m in love with someone and I don’t know if the person loves me back,” Clara read out aloud when it was time for more questions. She looked at Simon who nodded at her. He needed her to take control right now so he could collect himself, get back to the headphones, and try to be somewhat professional while his boyfriend was low-key having a panic attack. 

 

“Well,” Clara started, dragging the time a bit. “One of the many relationship problems is falling for someone that does not love you back. It can be painful, but it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. You are simply not the right match because of the timing or other differences that you may not be aware of.”

 

“True,” Simon added in. “I was in a very short relationship sometime before I met Wilhelm,” he said while taking a quick look at said boy to see how he was doing. “It wasn’t someone I was in love with, but we tried it for a while and then called it quits. It just wasn’t right, you know.” 

 

“I think it’s very normal to try different partners throughout your teen years,” Manfred suddenly chimed in startling all of them. “A teenager is not expected to behave like an adult but they must learn to express themselves and be assertive in a relationship. A guy’s idea of a romantic evening may be very different from a girl’s. But, regardless of age, both parties should be satisfied in a relationship.”

 

“Exactly, like,” Simon thought for a moment before continuing. “No one plans for a breakup initially but if things are not working out, you have to initiate it. You have to think about how to do it. I believe breaking up in person is best, but if he or she is far away, do it over the phone instead of sending a text or letter. No blame game. Go straight to the point instead of avoiding the person or making up excuses. A clear breakup is easier to handle, at least for me.”

 

They continued answering questions for some time, making jokes and trying to lighten the mood in the studio, but it was clear to everyone that Wille was lost in his head. Simon knew it was only a question of time before Wille would break and it tore him apart that he wasn’t able to do anything right now. 

 

When they had said their goodbyes to the radio host, Simon guided Wille out of the studio and into the car that was waiting for them. Luckily they had taken photos for socials before the show started.

 

“I’ll just make sure he gets home safe,” he said to Clara and Manfred who were standing beside the car not knowing what to do. “See you later, okay?” 

 

And then he was in the car together with Wille driving what seemed too slow to the castle and to Wille’s room. Wille’s phone started ringing and when Wille reached out to collect the call, Simon stopped him. 

 

“Not now, love,” he whispered. “You can’t speak with anyone right now.” Then Simon took Wille’s phone and shut it off just to give Wilel some peace. 

 

At the palace, Wille darted towards his room without taking off his shoes or jacket and Simon couldn’t do anything other than follow his boyfriend through the castle all the way to his room. Once inside, Wille violently turned the lock and then fell down by the door, tears finally spilling. 

 

Simon knelt down beside him, tentatively placing his hands on Wille’s knees. Wille looked so broken that it scared Simon that what they had just done was something very stupid that they shouldn’t have done in the first place. 

 

“Speak to me, Wille,” Simon pleaded. “What can I do for you?” 

 

Wille just shook his head diving into Simon, creating a safe place for himself. Simon could feel his tears through his own t-shirt, he could feel how hard it was for Wille to keep his breathing even. He could feel how Wille was trembling with every breath he took and how he curled in on himself in Simon’s embrace. 

 

“Ohh, Wille,” Simon just said, holding his boyfriend tight to his chest. There wasn’t more he could do at this moment, so he just sat there on the floor, holding the man he loved with all his being as long as necessary. 

 

“My knees hurt,” Wille suddenly muttered when his crying had died down. It made Simon smile a bit.

 

“Well, my butt hurts, but what can you do?” he said, moving back a little so he could look Wille in the eyes. “You want to get up and maybe head to the bed or something?” 

 

Wille smiled at him and nodded and together they helped each other up from the floor and moved toward the bed. Wille placed himself in a small ball on the bed, signaling for Simon to join him. Simon did, spooning his beautiful boyfriend, curling his arms around him and placing a small kiss on the back of Wille’s neck. 

 

“Better?” Simon whispered without expecting an actual answer. 

 

Wille shrugged, but otherwise stayed silent, breathing heavily. They lay there in silence for some while. Simon could feel his phone vibrate from his pockets, but he didn’t react to it. The outside world could wait for now. 

 

“It’s just,” Wille finally said with a drawn-out breath. “It just dawned on me that now there is no going back, it got somewhat personal in there, the radio, and… I don’t know. It scared me. I’ve never shared anything that personal with the public and there I was, sitting and giving advice on relationships when my only experience is our relationship.” 

 

“I remember a prince who once made a public statement telling people to fuck off and leave his boyfriend alone and that he in fact is a very queer person himself,” Simon said, trying to lighten the mood. 

 

“But that was a written statement, Simon,” Wille explained himself. “This thing here. It’s something I’ve been saying with my own words, my own voice, and it hadn’t been pre-approved by a PR team or anything like that.” 

 

“Nothing I ever say is approved by a PR team, Wille. You are allowed to speak your own words,” Simon tried to reason with his boyfriend. 

 

“I’m so afraid it will all backfire,” Wille said, sounding defeated. “My head just… I keep making up all of these scenarios. It will not keep quiet, my head.” 

 

“Ohh, Wille,” Simon sighed, kissing his neck again. Wille turned around so he could look at Simon.

 

“Make it stop, Simon,” Wille pleaded, looking directly into Simon’s eyes. 

 

Simon gulped, looking at Wille and his big brown puppy eyes. How could he say no to them? They were just too pretty. Before Simon could come up with an answer, Wille’s lips were on him, kissing him passionately, almost wild. And Simon let Wille take whatever he needed from him at this moment because he would do anything for Wille. Anything. 

 

Wille kissed Simon like there was no tomorrow like he needed Simon more than he needed air. Simon didn’t mind. He, himself, knew how much you could need a person when you felt broken the most and he wanted to show Wille that he was there for him at this very moment. Simon gave into their kiss with just as much passion as Wille, eventually pushing him down on the bed, and crawling on top of him. He let his kisses travel down Wille’s jaw and neck. Once he reached the pulse point he teasingly bit down on it lightly. It made Wille buck his hips in surprise.

 

“Simon,” a choked noise was heard from Wille. “More, please… again,” 

 

Simon smiled into the crook of Wille’s neck, kissing him some more before, biting down again a bit harder just as he teasingly started to move his hips on top of Wille. He was biting, licking, sucking, moving his molestations further down only to be stopped by Wille’s shirt. In hurried motions, Simon got rid of the shirt and started unzipping Wille’s pants before he even checked with Wille. He knew Wille was asking for this, so he just did it without double-checking. When Wille’s pants were off Simon took a moment to take in the sight of Wille beneath him before removing his own t-shirt. Wille looked so vulnerable and pale and it made Simon’s heart burst with a strange mixture of love, want, and need, but also sadness because Wille deserved everything good in this world. But he just kept being handed very bad cards.   

 

“Simon, more,” Wille whined beneath him, shaking Simon out of his own thoughts. Simon smiled at Wille before continuing to ravish his body. Soon Wille’s boxers were lost somewhere on the floor leaving Wille butt naked on the bed with Simon on top of him, playing with him, caressing him, whispering sweet praises against the pale skin. Wille was a babbling mess, something he never really had been before, not like this, but Simon assumed it had to do with the fragile state of mind Wille had been in earlier. 

 

“Turn around, babe,” Simon whispered into Wille’s hip bone before crawling off him to let Wille move. Wille did as he was told without any hesitation, turning around so he was laying flat on his stomach, head resting on the pillow, arms tucked under it. 

 

“So good,” Simon praised Wille. Wille let out a lenient whine, making Simon smile. Apparently, praises did something for Wille, who would have known? 

 

Simon continued to caress, touch, and take good care of his boyfriend, loving how Wille just let him touch him, going completely boneless under Simon’s touch. It was when Simon was three fingers deep inside Wille, moving them in and out, curving them a bit in slow motions, that Wille actually spoke cohesive words again. 

 

“Simon, I need… Oh God, I need more,” He sounded so blissed out and Simon was sure that he had never heard anything more endearing in his life. 

 

“What do you need, babe?” Simon asked before kissing his back lightly.

 

“You!” Wille let out a little too light which probably had something to do with the way Simon was hitting just right at that moment. “I… I need, no. I want you inside me, Simon. All of you.” 

 

Simon stopped his movements, closing his eyes, centering himself.

 

“Are you sure?” Simon asked in a weak voice. He had forgotten how aroused he was until just now being too occupied with pleasing Wille. 

 

Wille nodded before turning around a bit to look Simon in the eyes. 

 

“I trust you, Simon. “I want this.” 

 

“Okay, I umm. I’ll just need…” Simon clumsily jumped off the bed frantically looking for the box of condoms the kind staff had bought Wille way back. It wasn’t open and Simon fumbled around for a moment before dropping the contents of the box on the floor. He hunched down and triumphantly held up a wrapped condom. 

 

“Smooth,” Wille laughed from the bed. 

 

“Shut up, Wille,” Simon hissed, blushing slightly before moving towards Wille, planting a soft kiss on his already kiss-swollen lips. 

 

He got rid of his pants and underwear before crawling back up in the bed, kissing down Wille’s spine, moving him around so he was on all fours.

 

“Say if I hurt you in the slightest, okay?” Simon said before opening the foil package and slowly rolling down the condom on his very neglected and by now very hard dick. He brushed his hands over Wille’s shoulders before finding the lube again to coat himself before lining up. 

 

“Are you sure?” he asked once more. Wille nodded emphatically, his head down in the pillow and Simon took a deep breath before he began pushing in. 

 

The connection of two people, two bodies, every nerve ending in his body tingled with excitement as he felt the warmth of Wille all around him. It left him speechless and thus he managed to hiss out a groan of pleasure before turning his attention back to Wille. Was he doing okay? Simon touched his body so gently as if he was afraid to hurt his prince the slightest bit.

 

“You can move, you know,” Wille let out with a smile. “I won’t break.”

 

And wasn't that all the invitation Simon needed to slowly, experimentally start moving his hips in slow motions back and forth? He couldn’t wrap his mind around how close they were right now. How intimate this was, because this was not just fucking – this was making love. He 100% knew that. This was closeness, freedom, acceptance, and love, love, love

He felt overwhelmed with the trust that Wille, the person he loved, wanted to be there, that their love was both a choice and a feeling and feeling safe and excited in the knowledge that they would be able to make whatever kind of relationship they wanted together.

 

The bond of two bodies in smooth rhythmic motion, twisting and turning, exploring each other was heard in the room mixed together with moans of pleasure, sounds of sloppy kisses placed on the skin, and praises of love. 

 

It was almost like a repeat of something happening a long time ago, neither of them hearing Simon’s phone vibrating on the floor, too engaged in their actions. Too drunk on love for each other. 

 

There was a loud banging on a door, someone next to him stirred awake. More banging and yelling were heard. Simon turned around, hiding under the duvet. He didn’t want to wake up or move from his safe space. Yesterday had been like a dream he never had dared to dream. They had been so full of love and vulnerability. It had been beautiful despite what had led up to them having sex for the first time. Simon wanted nothing more than to stay in the memories of their first time being fully together, but Wille had other ideas. He was already sitting up in bed, looking panicked at the door. Simon looked at it just as the doorknob was turning and a whole horde of people entered the room. 

 

“WTF!” Wille exclaimed, sitting up in the bed, pulling the duvet closer to Simon so as to shield him and not himself from the facing looks. 

 

Simon stirred properly awake now, too shocked by the attendance to register that he was very much naked in the prince’s bed. 

 

“What’s happening/” Simon mumbled just as the Queen and, oh God, his mother, walked into the room looking worried. 

 

“Wilhelm!” the Queen’s stern voice was heard. “What on earth is going on? Have you both lost your minds?!” 

 

“Mama, what are you doing here?” Wille asked in return. “How did you come in? I had locked the door!”

 

“I had it opened,” the Queen simply said, “Now explain to me exactly why the two of you would think it was a good idea to do a radio show together, talking about love, of all things, and then go missing from the surface of the earth! As if it isn’t bad enough that he,” she pointed towards Simon who moved a bit closer to Wille, “writes all these lyrics insinuating things about you! Talking about his partner in interviews. We share nothing like that with the public, Wilhelm!” 

 

Linda stood behind the Queen looking slightly embarrassed having caught the boys in this state, but Simon could see that she was disappointed in him too. But why? Then it dawned on him. 

 

“Shit!” He burst out, “Lo siento, Mamá. Olvidé la hora. Lo siento!” 

 

“¡Olvidaste la hora! SIMON,” Linda hissed. “Nadie sabía dónde estabas. Not even Clara and Manfred could tell us where you’d gone.” 

 

Simon sat up in bed, drawing the duvet up to his chin.

 

“Mama, we just needed some time after that show. Wille…” He looked at Wille who shook his head slightly. “We just needed to be us,” Simon said, looking concerned at his boyfriend. 

 

There was a fire in Wille’s eyes and he was not looking at Simon. His eyes were directed at his mother, locked with hers in a face-off that neither of them wanted to back down from and let the other opponent win. 

 

“You broke into my room,” Wille said in a cold voice. “YOU BROKE INTO MY ROOM!” He then yelled, anger radiating out of him. Simon placed a tentative hand on Wille’s lower back, trying to steady him. Angry Wille was never good.  

 

“I had to know where you were, Wilhelm. Neither of you was answering your phones!” the Queen argued. “Anything could have happened to you, Wilhelm. You are still a prince even though you’ve turned 18. You still live in my house and therefore you have to live by my rules too. Whether you like it or not you are a representative of the Royal Family.” 

 

Wille was visibly shaking with anger by now. 

 

“This room,” He pointed at the bed with his finger to highlight what he meant. “This is MY private chamber and you are not allowed to break into it. Do you understand? Family is supposed to be your safe haven, but this one keeps proving that it’s not.” 

 

The Queen didn’t acknowledge him with an answer, just looked at him to see where he was going. 

 

“Here is what’s going to happen: Next school year I’ll be back at Hillerska. Full board. I’ll be here at this hell house the least I can. I’ll be as far away from you and your stuck-up, sick rules as I see fit and I will make my own decisions regarding MY life. Is that understood?” His voice was cold as ice leaving chills down Simon’s back even though he knew the words weren’t directed toward him. 

 

“Wilhelm. Don’t be silly…” The Queen started but was interrupted by Wille.

 

“That’s not negotiable. That’s how it’s going to be. Also, don’t ever set foot inside this room again. Never! Our family has become a place where you can scream for help but no one will hear, not ever, because all you and Papa care about is how we look to the public. It’s sick and superficial and I’m not going to be a part of that anymore. I’ll remove myself from that the best I can. I will stand up to my responsibilities, but I will have nothing more to do with you!” The anger was slowly deflating leaving space for a hint of hurt in Wille’s voice. “Now get out. All of you. Linda, Simon will be out in a while. We just woke up. Sorry about worrying you.” 

 

All the people started backing out of the room, not daring to spend any more time with the angry prince. Linda and the Queen were the last two who left the room, Linda closing the door with an apologetic smile towards them. 

 

Simon dropped down on the bed with a big sigh, hiding his face in his arms. 

 

“What the hell was that?” he then asked. 

 

“I’m so sorry, Simon, Mama, she… I … I have no explanation,” Wille said defeated, dropping down next to Simon. 

 

“I’m proud of you, Wille,” Simon said. “Letting go of toxic people in your life is a big step in loving yourself.” He looked at Wille who was staring up at the ceiling.

 

“I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone,” Wille thought out loud. “But I know better now. It’s not something I’ve given much thought to really, but loneliness is much better than being surrounded by her – and I have you. I’m not lonely anymore,” he smiled at Simon before planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

Notes:

You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 30: Chapter 30

Summary:

After everything that had happened back at the palace and the way Wille had lashed out at the Queen, Simon had no doubt that Wille was in this as long as Simon would have him. 

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Things had been tense ever since the Queen had broken into Wille’s room. Wille had almost moved out of the palace for good, spending most of his days at Clara’s place sleeping on the sofa. She had graciously offered it after Wille apparently had reached out to her after Simon had gone back home. He had needed some time away from his mother and Clara was the only one in Stockholm who wasn’t living at the palace that he remotely trusted. Now he almost lived at Clara’s place most days, which was something that would have frightened Simon, or made him slightly worried, merely a month back, but not now. They had taæked about Wille’s obsession about her and how that had made Simon feel insecure in their relationship. A very mature conversation if Simon was to say so himself.

After everything that had happened back at the palace and the way Wille had lashed out at the Queen, Simon had no doubt that Wille was in this as long as Simon would have him. 

 

But it was still not good per se. Even though Wille made it work, Simon could tell that it was taking a toll on his boyfriend that he was kind of homeless.

 

When Wille was not staying at Clara’s place, which was on the weekends, he made the trip to Bjärstad. Linda was still there, that was true, but she had apologized for barging into a locked room on their way home from Stockholm as soon as Simon had apologized for not letting her know that he had stayed an extra night in Stockholm.

 

Five adults and a tiny baby needing attention in their space was a tight fit in the small house. Even though Simon loved his boyfriend, it was difficult to live with him, especially because they hadn’t talked about living together or how that would be. It wasn’t like when he stayed the night once in a while. This was turning into something more serious because Wille was leaving more and more of his stuff inside Simon’s room. And Simon loved Wille, he really did, but they hadn’t talked about what living together would be like. Not to mention that they actually hadn’t talked with the rest of the household about it either.

 

And Simon was busier than ever. He had exams coming up but also concerts in Norway with Clara. Even though Clara would be the main performer he would perform 3 of his own songs after their duet. It didn’t sound like much, but for Simon it was everything! Imagine doing your first concert-like performance in another country. It all felt too good to be true. 

 

Their first concert was June 6th, which was also his birthday and Sweden’s national day. Wille hadn’t been happy to hear that Simon wouldn’t be home that day. He had been set on making up for the sudden angst that had followed Simon’s last birthday, but what could you do? Instead, they had decided on celebrating his birthday on the 5th instead, which was fine for Simon. It was more so Linda and Wille who were sorry for being forced to push the celebrations to another day than Simon, which was strange. Sure, he would be turning 18 years old and would be considered an adult in all legal matters now – he would be able to vote, something he looked forward to, and much more – but he was still just Simon. One day didn’t really make a big difference in his opinion. 

 

“I really do love you, you know that, right?” Simon asked Wille one night when they were lying in his room. They were covered in sweat, both exhausted from what had just gone down between them in their room, because it was as much Wille’s room now as it was Simon’s. 

 

“I love you too, Simon,” Wille said matter-of-factly and planted a kiss on Simon’s curls.

 

“I wish you could come with me to Norway. It’s kind of scary to go there on my own,” Simon confided in Wille.

 

“You won't be alone, love. Clara is there, and her people are kind of your people too I guess,” Wille said, holding Simon a bit closer. It was only sort of dark in the room. The fact that it was the very start of June made it impossible to make the room that dark even though it was still evening. It was simply just too light outside.

 

“Can I tell you something?” Wille asked, sounding hesitant, almost unsure. 

 

“Always, Wille,” Simon answered, looking up at his boyfriend’s partially hidden face. 

 

“You can’t tell anyone okay? It’s something I have thought about a lot lately.” Wille sounded serious and it made Simon want to sit up so he could look at him more attentively, but at the same time, Simon knew that Wille needed to feel him, to be near him because this was Wille and he always craved Simon’s touch. He was more relaxed whenever Simon held him.

 

“I have thought a lot about what to do with my life, how I want to live it, and stuff. After I’ve taken Studenten and we’re both graduated,” Wille held another pause, sorting out his thoughts. “I don’t think I would join the military as Mama and Papa want me to do – not right away anyway.” 

 

“Well, I guess if you just talk to them it can be sorted out. You can go study for some time and then do the whole military thing,” Simon suggested. That made Wille smile slightly and shake his head. 

 

“No, I need to do the military thing. I know Mama would demand that. But also, I’ve been thinking a lot about my future as a part of the Royal Court and maybe…” Wille looked at Simon with big eyes.

 

“Maybe that is just not me, maybe I should separate from the Royal Court?” Wille held his breath waiting for a reaction. Simon looked at him like he had just proclaimed he thought that the world was in fact flat as a pancake. 

 

“You can’t be serious, Wille?” was all Simon could bring himself to say.

 

“What?!” Wille pulled away from Simon, which was never a good thing.

 

“How will separating from your family be a good thing at all?” Simon asked, wanting to get a real answer from Wille. 

 

“Mama can’t decide how I act or who I date if I do that. She can’t decide what I’m going to do with my life,” Wille defended himself. “We will be able to just be us, no press, no pressure to uphold a façade that nobody believes in anyway…”

 

“Wille!” Simon said a bit too forcefully. “Are you hearing yourself right now?”

 

“What?” Wille looked at him with confused eyes, like he really didn’t know what Simon was getting at. Simon sighed, sitting up himself and pinching his nose. 

 

“Wille, I love you so very much, and if this is actually something you want to do, then I’ll support you all the way,” he started.

 

“But?” Wille asked, looking calculated at Simon.

 

“But… No matter what, you'll always be the son of a Queen. You’ll always have a brother who is the Crown Prince of Sweden. Someday he’ll be the fucking King of Sweden. You’ll always be the first fully-open LGBTQ+ person who also happens to be royal. We are still together and I don’t see us separating and going our separate ways anytime soon, so that means the press will follow us around even though you choose to become a regular civilian. I am a public person now because of my music. People will still want to know about the two of us.” 

 

Wille looked down at the bed, sheets all tangled up around them, smelling like cum and sweat. He reached out for Simon’s hand and Simon immediately took it. He was not mad at Wille. He just wanted him to think it through preferably before he did anything drastic. 

 

“But I just want to decide my own life, Simon. I just want to live it with you, grow old with you, and…” his sad eyes met Simon’s when Wille looked up at him again. 

 

“Oh, love,” Simon sighed and pulled Wille into a tight embrace. “You can choose what you want to do, just do it for your own reasons, okay? Don’t do it to spite your mother, I think she’s gotten the message this time around.” 

 

That made Wille giggle into Simon’s curls. “I really do love you, Simon.” Wille then whispered. 

 

“I know,” Simon replied, tilting them down so they once more laid in the bed again. “And I love you so very much!” 

 

To be able to perform at the VG Lista in Trondheim was amazing. It was the biggest adrenaline rush Simon had ever experienced and to be able to share it with one of his closest friends was even more amazing. The crowd had been so alive and vivid and their energy had rubbed off on Simon in such a way that he acted like his alter ego throughout the festival and the interviews they appeared in. Clara had laughed at him for being so different in his appearance on stage from the person he really was, but Simon didn’t care. The Simon on stage was fearless, sassy, and full of confidence and energy. The real Simon not so much. At least not all the time or with the same enthusiasm as he had on stage. 

 

When Simon had video-called Wille that evening he had still been excited and had babbled on and on about how amazing it had been to perform live and how much he looked forward to his next performance. Wille had smiled and listened and given Simon the time to gush about this amazing experience. Simon had talked so much that they were 15 minutes-ish into their conversation, which consisted of Simon talking and Wille listening, that Simon hadn’t initially noticed that the background seemed familiar to him. 

 

“Are you in my living room?” Simon asked, puzzled, stopping his own story.

 

“Oh, yeah. I haven’t got any exams this week so we decided that I might as well stay,” Wille said sheepishly.

 

“Who are we?” Simon asked, confused. Nobody had told him about this. 

 

“Well, your mama and I,” Wille said, blushing a bit. “I helped her cook today and stuff.” 

 

“You? Helped her cook? How are you both still alive?” Simon asked. “You don’t know how to cook to save your own damn life, Wille.” 

 

“Hey, be nice!” Wille said, smiling at Simon. “She helped me. I made lasagna - it was delicious I’ll tell you that.” 

 

“If you say so,” Simon laughed. “So what? Are you just going to chill with Mama until I’m home tomorrow?” 

 

“Well, today we went grocery shopping. It was fun,” Wille said, sounding way too excited about picking up groceries than any normal person would. She’s going to work tomorrow though, so I’ll just spend some time with Sara and the baby…”

 

“And August, your favorite relative,” Simon teased Wille.

 

“Don’t even get me started on him. He’s still insufferable! He’s still actually planning his own bachelor party for Erik. And I still think it’s so stupid!” 

 

“Yeah, yeah. Because you hate going to the spa,” Simon laughed. “Wille, you love the spa. Just go with them and make August happy. Job done.” 

 

“Since when are you on team August?” Wille asked, pretending to be offended. 

 

“Since it makes you look that adorable trying to act grumpy and whatnot!” Simon laughed. 

 

“Shut up, Simon” Wille hissed. “I do not look adorable!” 

 

“You really do! You are so pretty and adorable no matter what you do,” Simon said, all serious now. 

 

“Shut up!” Wille blushed, starting to walk out of the living room and into their room. “You can’t say stuff like that while I’m in your living room!” 

 

“Why not?” Simon asked, knowing perfectly well why.

 

“I miss you,” Wille said when he was finally inside their room, door closed, curtains drawn. 

“Wille, I’ve only been away for a day or something like that,” Simon said, smiling fondly at his boyfriend. 

 

“Well, it’s strange to be here without you,” Wille sighed, dropping down onto the bed. “Everything reminds me of you and how you’re not here for me to just kiss or hold, or… something else.” 

 

“Omg, Wille, possessive much?” Simon said, feeling his heart starting to race a bit faster. He loved how Wille would miss him like this even after just a day away from each other. 

 

“Mmm, I just really, really like you, Simon” Wille said, looking into the camera. 

 

“Ohh I hadn’t noticed that!” Simon said, lying down on his hotel bed. “You know… It is my birthday today…” 

 

“Ohh, really? I hadn’t noticed…” Wille smiled at him.

 

“Mmm, I’m pretty sure that tradition dictates that you have to give me a birthday blowjob…” Simon continued, feeling kind of brave after today’s experience. 

 

“Tradition dictates! OMG, Simon…” Wille laughed in disbelief. “You could just ask for one if you want one. No need to get a tradition involved.” 

 

“Stop laughing at me, Wille,” Simon grimaced. “I’m trying to be sexy here!” 

 

“You’re always sexy!” Wille muttered, turning red in his face.

 

“Well, can I have one?” Simon asked, setting the phone down to rest on the night lamp that was standing on the nightstand. 

 

“Only problem is that you’re not in your room, love,” Wille said, mimicking Simon’s motion, placing his own phone down. 

 

“True,” Simon mumbled. “I’ll have to do something on my own then.” He smiled teasingly towards the screen, loving how Wille became even more flustered. 

 

“Tell me what you’re going to do, please!” Wille whispered, licking his lips.

 

“Wille,” Simon groaned and palmed himself through his pants. If birthday sex wasn’t on the table the least he could do was get himself off.

 

“What are you doing?” Wille asked, just as strained as Simon felt.

 

“I’m palming myself, it feels so good, but not like it’s enough,” Simon whined, going faster over his clothed manhood. 

 

“Why?” Wille asked.

 

“Because I’m imagining it’s you,” Simon whispered, closing his eyes. “It is the perfect combination of pressure, warmth, and wetness, and just you. All around me. Sucking me off like it’s the best thing in the world!”

 

“But it is, Simon. Me, being able to make you feel like that. That is everything. Knowing that I’m capable of doing that to you! It turns me on so bad!” Wille let out, clearly touching himself too. 

 

“Wille, want you so bad right now, why aren’t you here?” Simon whined, feeling his pants get uncomfortable around him. 

 

“Tomorrow, tell me what you want me to do to you tomorrow, love,” Wille whispered through gritted teeth. 

 

“Starting at the head of my dick, making me feel full of anticipation and want, making the feeling ripple out to everywhere else. I want that,” Simon panted, opening the fly to his pants. He had to do more to himself and needed more stimulants. 

 

“Getting a blowjob from you is insanely hot, Wille. Did you know that? You know how to push my buttons, how to work me up and make me squirm. There's no other feeling like it. Including the control I have as you worship my shaft, balls, and my entire genital area. That’s what I want tomorrow, that’s what I need now, but I will have it tomorrow, okay?” 

 

“Okay,” Wille panted as he came with a low grunt with Simon following shortly after. 


SimonErikssonOfficial WOW! What energy the crowd had today at VG Lista in Trondheim. What a way to spend my 18th birthday! <3 

Simon was back in Norway again on June 13th and June 17th both times performing for VG Lista in Bergen and Oslo. It was a rush for him to stand on a stage, singing his heart out and hearing the audience sing along. It was not as great as having sex with Wille, because that was the most amazing thing ever. Being balls-deep and buried in Wille was like nothing he could ever come close to describing to anybody else. The ecstasy of warm tightness always sends his mind and body into euphoria and he knew he could make Wille’s mind quiet for some time if he went on hard enough. That was the best feeling ever, but performing for a live audience was pretty damn close to the same feeling of ecstasy. 

 

In between the concerts Simon somehow managed to pass all of the exams he had that year, which he felt pretty proud of if he had to be honest. It had been hard work and had cost him a lot of sleep, but he got to go on summer vacation from school with pretty decent grades, all things taken into consideration. Now all he had to do was perform one last time at Lotta på Liseberg on the 27th of June before Wille and he would fly to Italy and their much-awaited vacation. They were excited to have the whole week just the two of them together. 

 

Seeing that they both were done with their exams for the year, Wille went with him to his last gig before their vacation. They hadn’t told the production that Wille would join them, only that Simon would bring a friend of his backstage, which was quite okay with everyone from the production. The gig was in the middle of an amusement park, and that would make it a bit harder for them to get in unnoticed, but luckily for them, Erik and Tindra provided them with a blacked-out car that took them to the backstage area where the gig would be held. Once they stepped out of the car, it was clear that the production team was taken aback by Wille’s presence, but they soon gathered themselves and showed the two boys the way to the backstage area. There they were met by two other artists that would perform that same day. Miss Li and Einár both did a double-take when Simon and Wille walked into the backstage area. 

 

“Hello,” Simon said and waved awkwardly towards the two other artists, who were very well-established in Sweden already. “I’m Simon.” 

 

“Hello, Simon,” Miss Li said, looking pale at the two boys. Simon sat down in a chair pulling Wille with him. 

 

“This was a bad idea,” Wille whispered nervously to Simon. “It’ll ruin everything.” 

 

“No you won't,” Simon said stubbornly. “People need to get used to seeing the two of us together. We’re not just some fling; we are in it for the long run, right?” 

 

“Right,” Wille nodded and earned himself a kiss on the cheek from Simon. 

 

“So,” Simon said, not knowing how to break the tension.

 

“You’ve been in Norway, right?” Einár asked, ignoring the kiss.

 

“Yeah, I flew there 3 times for the VG Lista performances,” Simon replied, relieved that someone knew how to ask questions that would break the tension when he seemingly couldn’t. 

 

“How was that?” Einár continued to ask.

 

“It was so amazing. It was the first time I ever did anything like that, and it was just such a rush!” Simon answered honestly. 

 

“I remember the first time I played live for a major audience,” Miss Li chimed in. “Nothing beats the feeling you get when you’re standing on a stage and presenting your work to so many people at once! You must be able to feel it backstage too,” she looked expectantly at Wille. 

 

“Ohh, uhh,” Wille fumbled with his words. “It’s the first time I’m going to see Simon live. If you don’t count the school choir.”

 

“Really?” Miss Li asked, not sounding like she believed him. “I would have thought someone like you could go wherever you wanted whenever you wanted.” 

 

“No, I umm,” Wille looked at Simon for help, but Simon only shrugged his shoulders not knowing what to say. “I had some exams I needed to finish and it’s a lot harder to get out of the country when you’re in the position I’m in. There needs to be a lot of security checks and stuff… so, yeah. This is the first time.” 

 

“Well, you better enjoy it then! There is only one first time for everything after all,” Einár smiled before he was interrupted by the production team and Lotta who had come to say hi before they went live.

 

Knowing that Wille was watching him from backstage made Simon even more nervous than he had been in Norway. Not to mention that he was going to perform two songs he hadn’t sung at the VG Lista appearances as well as one cover of Carola, which everybody in Sweden loved. If he didn’t do the song justice it would be bad. Luckily everything went surprisingly well, as always, and before he knew it, it was time for the interview portion with Lotta. 

 

“The summer is well on its way here in Sweden and therefore I have to ask today’s artist what you’re all up to this summer. Simon, you go first!” Lotta started.

 

“Well, I’ve been playing at VG Lista in Norway together with Clara and then I had to take some exams, so yeah. It has been a lot of work in different ways,” Simon smiled.

 

“And what about the rest of the summer?” Lotta went on.

 

“Well, I’m actually going on vacation together with my partner and then I have some more concerts booked for later in the summer, so it’s going to be a lot of fun” Simon answered, trying to be sincere but also staying private about the trip he and Wille would go on. 

 

“Ohh, that sounds like a lot of fun!” Lotta chimed in and Simon readied himself to not give an answer about where they were going, but luckily Lotta went on to chat with the other guests, which Simon was grateful for. 

 

When he had sung the last song together with all the other artists and Lotta, Simon jumped backstage feeling high on adrenaline and was met by a smiling Wille. 

 

“You were amazing, Simon!” Wille cheered and greeted Simon with a warm hug. “Just wow!” He went on before kissing him like there was no one else around them. Only, there were plenty of people around them, some of them with phones, but neither noticed them at that moment. It was only when Lotta also had ventured backstage to say a proper goodbye to the guests of the day that they were interrupted. They pulled away from each other blushing vividly.

 

“Well,” Lotta started, sending them a crooked smile. “I just wanted to thank all of you for participating today. It was such an honor to have you all here, you too your Highness,” she added and smiled at Wille. 

 

“Ohh,” Wille said and ducked his head as if he could hide behind Simon. “I’m just here as Simon’s boyfriend today, no need for titles. Thanks for letting me come!” 

 

“Well, no one knew it was actually you who would join him,” Lotta said under her breath, making Simon feel slightly protective of Wille. 

 

“Would you have let him join if you knew?” Simon challenged. 

 

“Well, sure” Lotta went on. “But I’m sure that there we would have made different accommodations had we known beforehand…

 

“Ths was perfect,” Wille chimed in. “I don’t need anything fancy. I only wanted to see Simon live. I’ve never seen him perform before, so… yeah… Thanks for letting me be here, but I’m afraid we’ll have to go now. We have a plane to catch tomorrow.” He looked at Simon happily and took his hand before Simon bid his farewell and followed Wille into their blacked-out car. They needed to pack some clothing before their departure tomorrow. 

 

Prince Wilhelm going wild at Lisberg

Today Prince Wilhelm was seen backstage with his longtime on-again-off-again boyfriend Simon Eriksson at the popular family show Lotta på Liesberg. It is assumed that Wilhelm was there to watch his boyfriend perform some songs. 

There are no official records mentioning why the prince was there so therefore we have to assume that the two lovebirds are back together for a hot summer of love. Whether they are back together for good is not known, but it is confirmed by the Royal Court that the young prince will finish Studenten back at Hillerska where he also went to last school year before Crown Prince Erik’s accident.  

It has been a long time since we last saw the young prince in any public appearances and we can only guess why that is after he so graciously took up all of the Crown Prince's tasks when he was recovering from his accident. How much of the now 18-year-old prince we will see throughout the summer is very unclear, because it is only the Crown Prince’s calendar that has been made official as to this date.

 

Italy was everything Simon could ever have imagined. Their vacation house was gorgeous. Erik had thought of everything, but still, it wasn't too much considering that it was only the two of them in it. Once they had landed at the Verona airport, a private car had driven them all the way to Bardolino, a peaceful town down by the southern part of the Garda Lake. They had been there Monday afternoon and had used the rest of the day to do some light grocery shopping before hitting the pool and enjoying the sun for the remainder of the day. Wille had tried to make them lasagna just as Linda had taught him, but he needed some help from Simon when he accidentally burned the ground beef they had bought for the sauce.  

 

The next day they decided to take a walk through the little town before the afternoon heat made it too hard to do anything more than relax by the pool. Simon couldn’t help but laugh at Wille when he saw the amount of sunscreen he covered himself in before putting on his cap.

 

“Shut up, Simon. I’ll turn into a burnt tomato if I don’t wear sunscreen,” Wille hissed at Simon.

 

“Oh, relax,” Simon said before covering Wille’s back in sunscreen. “I need it too, but this factor and this amount… it’s a little funny.” 

 

“Not to me,” Wille mumbled before adding sunscreen to Simon’s chest and back. 

“There we go. Now we are all ready for a day in the sun,” he then said and took Simon’s hand in his. 

 

They had decided that they wanted to walk the short way to the small town, enjoying the beautiful nature they were surrounded by. Simon was in awe of how peaceful the area looked even though there were lots of tourists this time of year. Wille, on the other hand, was taken aback by all the old buildings that made up the city center. Simon couldn’t help but smile at his boyfriend because he was the one who got to see Wille like this – all happy and relaxed, taking pictures of flowers and houses, and asking if it was okay to eat ice cream even though it was not even lunchtime yet. It was like all of Wille’s worries had been left behind in Sweden and he now was the freest self he could ever be. 

 

“I love you,” Simon suddenly said, wrapping his arms around Wille’s torso from behind when Wille was busy snapping a picture of the small harbor, ice cream in one hand, phone in the other. 

 

“I love you too,” Wille smiled back at him. 

 

“You are so beautiful like this, you know?” Simon continued. 

 

“What do you mean?” Wille asked, turning around to look at Simon. 

 

“Like, you’re all relaxed and happy. It suits you. I like that look on you,” Simon kissed Wille right there in the middle of the street, making Wille blush slightly.  

 

It wasn’t a lie. Wille was more relaxed during their vacation. Simon could feel it even when they were having sex. Wille didn’t need to clear his thoughts as often as he’d needed to back home in Sweden. Here he was just free and…wild. Simon was really taken aback by how open and free Wille could be when he had nothing to worry about. It was like a new man was making love to him except that it wasn’t. It was still his Wille who knew exactly how to touch Simon, tease him, treasure him. By now he knew every single sound Simon would make and what they meant. 

 

On their third evening, Wille had fallen asleep outside in the lounge chair, tired after hiking the whole day at The Serio Falls . It had been a beautiful hike, but it had also taken up the whole day, with the long drive to the place, the actual hike, and then the drive back to Bardolino. So when they finally made it back to their vacation house, Wille almost immediately crashed. It didn’t matter though, Simon liked looking at Wille while he slept, but not in a creepy way. He felt lucky to be with Wille like this, to just do normal vacation things with him without any pressure or expectations.

 

The next day they were going to Sirmione. They wanted to stroll through the old city, look at the forts, and see the historical site that Wille had talked about for the past few days. To get into Sirmione they would have to park the car outside the old part of the city and then walk into the center through the old medieval castle Scaligero. Wille insisted that they should have a tour of the castle before exploring the rest of the city. 

 

As they stood and admired the old fortress Simon had to admit that Wille was right when he had said it would be a beautiful sight. It only grew more beautiful as they stood on the top of the fortress looking out over the grand lake. 

 

“Did you know that Sirmione has been settled since the Stone Age?” Wille asked when they were standing there, holding each other and feeling utterly normal. Wille was wearing his stupid cap again. Simon wouldn’t call it pretty, but it was what Wille liked and so Simon liked it - sort of. 

 

“No, I did not, love,” Simon answered, smiling softly at the horizon. 

 

“Its strategic position near the southeastern corner of the lake and the defensive qualities of the peninsula meant that it was of military importance over the years,” Wille continued because of course he had googled this town. “Imagine having been alive back then. Things must have been so much simpler back then.” 

 

“Things were a lot harder back then too, Wille,” Simon said. “You’re romanticizing the Stone Age.” 

 

After being a silly romantic couple at the castle they ventured into the old town and found a little window shop that sold pizza slices that they bought for dinner before walking along the shore for a while. Then they found a huge ice cream store with vegan ice cream. It was the best ice cream Simon had ever had. No joke. It was the best!

 

After they had eaten both the pizza and the ice cream they walked the long way to the very top of the town that held the grand peninsula, which had been a Roman vacation villa. The villa itself was a three-story building from around 150AD (thank you for the small board of information that was placed all over the grounds), and the main sights to be seen were the supports for what was once a patrician villa for a rich family. There also was a small museum at the entrance which they walked through. Wille was very much in awe of it all, something Simon couldn’t understand. 

 

Yes, it was old and beautiful, he could see that, but Wille practically lived in multiple old and beautiful castles back home in Sweden. Why was this something that got him so excited? Simon just couldn’t understand it. 

 

That evening both of their bodies were sore from all the walking and it didn’t take much persuasion from Wille to have Simon join him in the outdoor jacuzzi. 

 

The bubbles going made it so neither of them could see under the surface. Not that they had anything to hide from each other but it only made it more exciting, not being able to see under the surface of the water. Wille took advantage of that; Simon could feel that in the way Wille moved closer and closer to him until he was almost sitting on top of Simon. But Simon wouldn’t let Wille move completely on top of him, so, he leaned into Wille’s side until the other man couldn’t resist Simon’s closeness any longer and started kissing him frantically. It was hectic and almost on the verge of being violent, and oh how Simon loved how Wille was just taking control right now. 

 

Wille started rubbing Simon down there! He wasn’t hiding his intentions at all, not being shy or unsure about what he was doing. He was quite clear in his movements and soon, Simon was placed on top of Wille’s lap, their cocks grinding up and down against each other. Simon let out a weak moan, slowly wiggling as they embraced each other. He wasn’t paranoid that somebody would see. The garden was quite private after all, but he did care about having to clean the jacuzzi if things got too messy. 

 

“Wille,” Simon let out, sounding way too weak for his own liking. Wille only continued, rocking his hips up against Simon’s and sucking hard on his neck, surely leaving a big mark for everyone to see. 

 

“Wille,” Simon tried again.

 

“Mmm,” Wille replied this time around, barely letting his mouth leave Simon. 

 

“Take me inside and fuck me until I can’t think straight any longer,” Simon said, pulling away from Wille to ease him out of the hot water. 

 

Wille swiftly let go of Simon and half carried him, half dragged him out of the jacuzzi, butt naked and without a care in the world. He led Simon over to the lounge chairs and sat himself down on one before pulling Simon on top of him. 

 

“I want you to ride me, Simon,” he said before capturing Simon’s lips in a merciless kiss. Simon was gone for this. Normally Wille wasn’t like this. Normally he didn’t just take what he needed but he did now and it turned Simon on like nothing ever had. It was clearly something they needed to discuss later on. 

 

“Wille,” Simon pleaded, “Need you, need more…lube… where?”

 

Wille fiercely pulled Simon off himself before stamping into the house to get their supplies. It wasn’t long before he was back, lube already opened and well-spaced between his fingers. 

“Turn around, let me do it,” Wille said, fire burning in his eyes and Simon could do nothing but simply comply. Being fingered open was a feeling of fullness and pressure. Simon had always thought that, but having Wille do it and not himself brought another level of intimacy into it all. 

 

“Good?” Wille asked, kissing Simon’s back. Simon nodded feeling himself going boneless. 

“Okay, come here, love,” Wille said, helping Simon to turn around so he could straddle Wille. Simon did as he was told and slowly lowered himself down on Wille’s hard cock, feeling himself being filled even more than before. 

 

“Now let go,” Wille whispered into Simon’s ear before biting him teasingly on his earlobe. Simon let go, riding Wille like never before, not thinking about being quiet or someone walking in on them or anything else; he just went for it. But suddenly Wille pushed him down on the chair, turned him around, and started fucking him from behind. And this was fucking, not sweet lovemaking. It was feral, wild, and free. Simon loved it; he wanted more, and when Wille grabbed his hair and pulled his head back in a tight hold he couldn’t bear it anymore and came with a long scream. Wille wasn’t quite there yet and kept going at it, capturing Simon’s lips in a heated, messy kiss before he too came. Wille went limp and let his body cover every inch of Simon before he slowly pulled out. 

 

Simon felt empty like something was missing. But he also felt sated, loved and so, so very happy. 

SimonErikssonOfficial had the best vacation together with the person I love the most. Now I’m ready for some concerts in July and August. Are you ready?!

 

Their two last days were spent bathing in the lake and getting a nice tan - or, Simon was getting a nice tan, Wille got sunburned and started peeling much to Simon’s amusement. Wilhelm wasn’t happy about that. They went paddle boarding and became quite good at it on the last day of their stay. It really was a nice vacation for the two of them, but it was all over too soon and then they were headed home to Sweden. 

 

Their summer vacation had felt like a dream. When their plane was landing back in Sweden and they were met by journalists in the airport, Simon felt how Wille tensed again and how his posture became a little stiffer. It pained Simon to see how Wille’s whole posture and way of carrying himself changed, but he also thought that he understood why now. 

 

On their vacation, everything had been normal. It had just been the two of them and they were not recognized by anyone, well almost, but as soon as they were back in Sweden they couldn’t be just them. Here they were Prince Wilhelm and Simon Eriksson and there were so many opinions about them and so many expectations. They had naively thought that by addressing their relationship publicly some of the attention towards them and some of the speculation would go away, but that was just not the case. Yes, people knew they were together and yes, neither Simon nor Wille wanted to hide their relationship or what the other person meant to them from the world any longer, but there were still expectations towards them. Maybe now more than ever, because Simon’s fan base did not like Wille. Many of them still had a picture of Wille as a selfish party prince who didn’t care much about anyone other than himself. It was true that before he transferred to Hillerska he had had a reputation for being too wild and not giving a shit about his royal life. Most of them thought that Wille was holding Simon back, toying with him only to gain some popularity himself. Some had even used the word abusing, and even though Simon knew better and was stronger than when he was 16 years, it still hurt him. And it hurt Wille too. Wille was not the distant, uptight upper class jerk as most people believed. Simon could express his feelings by writing music and lyrics as he’d always done, but not Wille. Wille was held back by the expectations of what it meant to be a royal and he had to play the part so he could get by without losing his mind. Simon knew that now, but he didn’t like it. 

 

The last bit of their summer vacation went by quickly. Simon had some concerts late in July all across Sweden and Wille followed him to all the concerts not wanting to be alone or risk going back to Drottningholm. He hadn’t been there since the Queen had barged into his room. Simon wasn’t even sure that he had talked to the Queen since then. It always seemed that it was someone from the staff who made sure Wille had whatever he needed whether it was at Clara’s apartment or at their house in Bjärstad. 

 

It was only when Erik called Wille and demanded that he join them at their summer residence that Wille finally caved and went to see his family. Erik had argued that both Tindra and he missed Wille and that their parents would be busy talking with the rest of their family, which included August Horn. Strangely enough, August wasn’t taking Sara or his baby daughter with him to the summer residence. Simon had first been furious about that but relaxed soon after when he found out that it was because Sara needed to take her exams and Sophia, their daughter, was still breastfeeding, so she needed to be near Sara.

 

It was a week before school started again, and Simon had one last concert to play for the Rix FM Festival in Eskilstuna so he couldn’t join Wille no matter how much Wille begged him and tried to convince him in other ways. Simon tried to stay rational while Wille was blowing him, he really tried. It would only be one week until they would see each other again. Wille would be staying at Hillerska this year, so they would be close to each other again. They would see each other every day. It wouldn’t be like the past year.

 

Wille

I can’t believe that I’m going to see you again tomorrow <3

 

Simon

Sap, it’s only been a week <3

 

Wille

Well, I don’t want to spend time away from you

 

Simon

Wille… 

 

Wille

Especially now that I know what you’re thinking of.

 

Simon

I’m very serious about that, you know. 

 

Wille

So am I. Don’t you think it’s something I should have a say in? 

 

Simon

Honestly? No…

 

Wille

I have no words right now, Simon. 

 

Simon

Pull yourself together Wille, you’ll get over it.

 

Wille

I honestly don’t think so, Simon. Don’t you know how much I love your curls?

 

Simon

It’s just hair, Wille. It will grow back.

 

Wille

But it’s like the best hair in the whole world!

 

Simon

I don’t even have a reply to that. Now you are just being silly for no good reason at all.

 

Wille

Please don’t cut your hair, Simon. Please!!

 

Simon

What if I told you that it’s too late for please? 

 

Wille

NO!

 

Simon

 

Wille

….. Do you hate me?!

 

Simon

Nope, I love you very much, love. Go to bed. It’s late <3

Notes:

This is the last chapter of phase 2. The boys are finally back together and are ready to start their last schoolyear. I wonder what that will bring…
You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 31: Chapter 31

Summary:

Nobody should be allowed to look that good in a school uniform. 

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Seeing Wille enter the gates of Hillerska again was unbelievable, or so Simon imagined it was. He couldn’t actually see Wille because he was waiting with the choir inside a small room in the church. They were going to sing for the welcoming ceremony. Simon knew that Erik had joined Wille today so that he could send his baby brother back into the big world properly. Erik had laughed when he told Wille and Simon that he would be there that day. It only made Simon more anxious to get out there and get the performance over with. As far as he knew, Erik had never heard him sing. And he really couldn’t put too much into it because he wasn’t performing a solo. They were only performing the Hillerska song that everybody knew and could sing along to.   

 

Simon stood together with Felice chatting with her and trying to ignore Maria’s lingering eyes. Maria had been very active on social media advocating that Wille wasn’t a good match for Simon. A surprisingly huge number of fans echoed those comments. By now Simon really felt something like hate towards Maria because of that, but he knew he had to keep it together so as to not make her say or do something that could affect his career.

 

“Relax, Simon,” Felice tried to calm him. “She knows nothing about you and Wille. Just ignore her. Everything they put out on social media is made up theories.” 

 

“Easy for you to say, Felice. It’s not your relationship that is being judged by everyone,” Simon hissed before walking into formation to enter the church for the performance. 

 

Simon was not ready to see Wille in his school uniform again after all this time. Wille was sitting in the very front row together with Erik and as soon as Simon stepped onto the podium, Wille's face lit up with a huge smile. Simon couldn’t help but smile himself because this was actually real. Wille was back at Hillerska, and he would stay here for their last year, and everything would be okay. To hell with all the crazy fans who thought Wille only used Simon!

 

After they had sung their school song the choir took their designated seats and listened to the headmistress telling them about Hillerska, its history, and welcoming the new students. It was clear that both the first years and second years were mesmerized by Wille attending the school once more. Both years were not used to him, but the third-year students couldn’t care less that Wille was back nor that Simon was sitting next to him. 

 

“Why did you cut your hair?!” Wille whispered, acting like it was okay for him to speak while the headmistress was talking.

 

“Because I felt like it,” Simon whispered back. “Now, shhh.” He would be damned if Wille was going to get him into trouble for speaking. 

 

“And now dear students,” the headmistress finished. “I have the honor of welcoming the Crown Prince to the podium!” 

 

She stepped aside and made space for Erik who walked towards the podium where he presumably would give a speech. Simon hadn’t known anything about that and by the look on Wille’s face neither had he. 

 

“Dear students of Hillerska, dear faculty,” Erik started, looking over all of them. “It’s an honor to stand in front of you all today and welcome you to this school year. Not only because this school holds lots of fond memories for me, but also because I get to see my dear brother, Prince Wilhelm start his last year here at Hillerska. It makes me proud to see him here amongst all of you because Wilhelm is a man that I look up to!”

 

Simon could hear Wille take a deep inhale when Erik said those words and discreetly he took Wille’s hand and squeezed it in support.

 

“Last year, at this time, nobody knew if that was possible. After my accident, I was admitted to intensive care for months without anyone knowing the possibility of me waking up again from the coma that I was in. My brother selflessly took it upon himself to take over my responsibilities without further questions. He laid aside all of his private interests in order to fulfill a duty to our beautiful country that he didn’t need to do. Nobody would ever expect someone, who at that time was a 17-year-old, to uphold the obligations that a grown man has. But Wilhelm did just that and for that I am grateful. He was selfless and set aside all of his own needs and wants in order to help me in my comatose state and for that I am forever grateful and thankful.” Erik held a small pause and smiled at Wille who was sitting completely still, mouth tightly shut and eyes glued to Erik. 

 

“Now is the time for my brother to enjoy his last year here at Hillerska together with his friends, Simon, and everyone else here at Hillerska – everyone that he had to leave behind in order to do the work that the crown needed him to do. Remember to cherish each other and to enjoy your time here! Be good to each other and appreciate the fine school that Hillerska is.”  

 

And that was that. Erik went down and sat beside Wilhelm as if nothing big had just happened. Like it was normal for a Crown Prince to give a speech about how awesome his little brother had been while said Crown Prince had been comatose. Simon was speechless and so was Wille. They both stayed put when everybody was leaving to get on with the day and their classes. They sat still on the bench, patiently waiting for some privacy. 

 

“Why did you do that?” Wille hissed when the church was mostly empty except for a few of the faculty, Erik, his bodyguard, and Simon. 

 

“I thought it would be good for everybody to know how much work you actually did last year,” Erik explained. “Was it wrong of me?” 

 

“I…I don’t know,” Wille concluded. “Was it really necessary?” 

 

“Probably not, but I felt like doing it,” Erik said before walking towards the exit of the church. 

 

Simon pulled Wille with him as he too started walking towards the exit. 

 

“Just let it go, Wille” Simon whispered so only Wille could hear him. “He needed to let everyone know how grateful he is for everything you’ve done for him.”

 

“But…” Wille started. 

 

“No buts Wille,” Simon interrupted and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. “Just let this happen, okay?” 

 

The day went okay. They were introduced to their subjects and their teachers went through their syllabi and that was it. They were assigned a book to read in Swedish and an assignment in math that needed to be handed in the next day. Therefore Simon was doing his best at concentrating on his book during study hall even though Wille was looking quite distracted reading his own book. Nobody should be allowed to look that good in a school uniform. 

 

Simon

Stop looking like that!

 

Wille

Like what? What are you talking about? 

 

Simon

You! You look too good in that uniform.

 

Wille

Do you want to borrow the uniform so you can look good too?

 

Simon

WTF, Wille! I’m wearing practically the same as you.

 

Wille

It was you who pointed out the uniform was good-looking.

 

Simon

I said that you looked good in that uniform, not that the uniform looked good. 

 

Wille

Well, sorry for the misunderstanding. I was too busy mourning the loss of your long hair.

 

“Are you guys seriously texting each other?” Frederika asked, looking at them from over her book. 

 

“Maybe,” Simon said, looking sheepishly at her. 

 

“But why?” Henry asked, confused. 

 

“Maybe you don’t need to know everything we talk about Henry,” Simon shot back feeling defensive.

 

“What could you possibly be talking about that could be so bad?” Henry challenged. 

 

Wille and Simon looked at him. Was he for real?

 

“Just think about it, babe,” Stella said, kissing him teasingly on the cheek. 

 

They were all silent for some time, looking at Henry and suddenly it all made sense for him. 

 

“Ohhh,” he said, looking between Simon and Wille. “Well, remember some music this time around, okay?” 

 

“Please shut up, Henry!” Wille exclaimed, looking terrified. 

 

“What?” Walter chimed in. “You can write about it but not talk about it?” 

 

“Not with you, no!” Wille defended himself. 

 

“Come on guys,” Felice intertwined. “You know they don’t share anything juicy about themselves. They never have!”

 

“Yeah, guys!” Maddison said. “Let them be and concentrate on yourself!”

 

“I know all there is to know about when and how I’m getting laid,” Henry said back.

 

“Yeah, me too,” Walter agreed. “About Henry I mean.” 

 

“Really?” Stella looked offended. 

 

“Come on, babe… It’s Walter!” Henry said, looking at his girlfriend.

 

“I know it’s Walter, Henry!” Stella snarled, standing up. “I need some air. Frederika? You want to come too?” 

 

Frederika looked torn between staying at their table and walking with Stella, but in the end she decided to go with her friend. 

 

“Well I’m not going to sit here and look like a fool,” Henry proclaimed and disappeared from the room followed by Walter. 

 

“What the fuck was that?” Simon asked once everything had settled down again. 

 

“I think something went down between the three of them this summer,” Maddison said tentatively. 

 

“Went down?” Wille asked, looking around the table.

 

“You don’t know?” Felice asked, shocked.

 

“Know what?” Simon asked in return.

 

“Okay so,” Felice started leaning in towards the two boys. “Apparently they accidentally had a threesome this summer.” 

 

“No way!” Simon exclaimed, dropping his book down on the table. 

 

“Are you sure?” Wille asked a bit more calmly.

 

“Yeah. I’m sure!” Felice hissed at Wille. “Stella told Frederika who told me…” 

 

“And you told me and Sara… and now Wille and Simon,” Maddison added. “You are great at keeping secrets!”

 

“OMG!” Simon just said, not believing his own ears. “Why didn’t anyone tell us? When did this happen?” 

 

“I think it was when you guys were in Italy,” Maddison said nonchalantly. 

 

"Ohh," Wille muttered. “That explains a lot.” 

 

“Yeah,” Simon agreed. “We kind of shut out Sweden for a while while we were there.” 

 

“Mmm, bet you did,” Felice just said, winking at them. 

 

“How do you accidentally have a threesome anyways?” Wille wondered aloud.

 

“Why do you need to know that?” Simon asked, looking teasingly at Wille who in turn blushed vividly. 

 

“I think it had something to do with some weed and alcohol and yeah… rest is kind of blurry, even for them,” Maddison explained halfheartedly. Simon and Wille shared as look of disbelief. 

 

“Simon!” Maria’s voice was heard just behind them.

 

“Ohh for the love of everything good,” Simon muttered under his breath. 

 

“Simon, I need to speak with you!” Maria said a bit too loud. 

 

“I’m sorry, now is really not the best time, Maria,” Simon said, turning his attention back to his book. “I need to get started on this one.” 

 

“It’ll only take a minute or two. It’s about the choir,” she kept going. 

 

“Okay, but make it quick. I don’t want to fall behind on homework on my first day,” Simon then said, feeling that he couldn’t dismiss her as easily as he would have wished. 

They walked away from the round study tables and found an empty spot beside the green lockers. 

 

“So, what’s up?” Simon asked, feeling kind of trapped. 

 

“Why is he back?” Maria asked, tilting her head towards Wille who was, not so subtly, looking at them. 

 

“Because he goes to school here, Maria. Now, what was it?” Simon pushed, trying really hard not to snap at Maria.

 

“So, I need you to get me a meeting with your record company,” Maria said matter of factly. 

 

“Excuse me?” Simon answered, not believing his own ears. “What do you mean?” 

 

“I want a meeting with them. I sent in a demo this summer and they declined it,” Maria tried to explain. “I need a meeting with them so I can explain how good I’ll be for them to sign.” 

 

“What the actual fuck? No, Maria. If they said no that’s a no. They know what they are doing.” 

 

“But they don’t know me! I’m the perfect match for them!” Maria kept going.

 

“Maria, No. If Daniel said no thanks, then try some other record label,” Simon tried to finish their conversation. 

 

“I’ll post pictures of you and Wilhelm for everyone to see if you don’t set up that meeting!” Maria hissed. 

 

Simon turned around, done with that conversation. He couldn’t believe Maria tried to blackmail him into setting up a meeting between her and Daniel. He squeezed his hands together in two fits, shaking with unleashed anger. How dare she actually suggest that she would leak pictures of them? And who knew how many pictures she already had of them from just today?

 

“I’ll do it,” she said once more to underline her point. 

 

“Hey, what’s up?” Wille said, suddenly standing in front of Simon. “Are you okay, love?” He placed a kiss on top of Simon’s head, wrapping his arms around Simon’s body. 

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Simon said, clearly not fine.

 

“Hey Maria,” Wille smiled at the blond girl who was sending the prince daggers. “How are you?” 

 

“Fine,” she spat back at Wille, looking more and more cross as the seconds went by. 

 

“Want to go to your room?” Simon asked Wille, not turning around to face Maria again. He couldn’t be blamed for his actions if she pushed him just one more time. 

 

“Sure, love,” Wille said, taking Simon’s hand in his. “See you around Maria.”

 

Maria didn’t reply. 

 

As they walked across the Hillerska campus to get to Forest Ridge, Simon could feel Wille’s eyes on him. 

 

“It’s nothing, Wille,” Simon finally said, stopping in his steps. 

 

“It’s not nothing, Simon,” Wille said affectionately. And why did he have to be so damn affectionate and cute when Simon was angry? It wasn’t fair. It made Simon want to jump him and just have his way with his all-too-cute boyfriend right there.

 

“Simon, tell me,” Wille went on, placing small kisses along Simon’s jawline to ease him into talking. 

 

“It’s just…” Simon sighed, wrapping his arms around Wille. “She’s just so insufferable! Like, she had apparently sent a demo to Daniel and he declined her and now she wants me to set up a meeting between the two of them. As if I could even do that!” 

 

“Ohh,” Wille just said, continuing to kiss Simon, now on his neck. 

 

“And then she was all like, I’m going to leak pictures of you and Wilhelm if you aren’t going to do what I tell you. Like, WTF?!”

 

“What?” Wille asked in disbelief, moving a bit away from Simon so they could look at each other. 

 

“I’m not joking, Wille. She was seriously trying to blackmail me,” Simon said with big eyes. 

 

“Well, then we better make sure we look our best each day if she’s going to document us,” Wille shrugged.

 

“What? Are you okay with this?” Simon was shocked, to say the least. 

 

“No, I’m not,” Wille sighed. “But the whole world knows that we are together, so there is no point in hiding that. And even though it scares me shitless and I really can’t bring myself to think about all the shit people say about us, I’m not going to hide my feelings towards you anymore.” Wille took a deep breath and Simon couldn’t help himself. He reached his hand out to carefully caress Wille’s face. 

 

“I just want to be with you, Simon. And if I will suffer from a panic attack or two on the way it has to be like that. I don’t want to hide you!” 

 

“Wille,” Simon sighed, kissing him gently. “You shouldn’t be worrying yourself about all of this in the first place. It’s so wrong that people are so invested in our dating life…”

 

“But they are, Simon! They are so invested and we have to navigate through that, together…” Wille interrupted. 

 

“Always together!” Simon said.

 

“So,” Wille continued when they started to walk again. “Are you going to set up a meeting for her?” 

 

“Shut up, Wille,” Simon laughed at him. 

 

“Make me!” Wille smiled back mischievously and wasn’t that all Simon needed to forget about Maria? 

 

The first Friday back at Hillerska was also the day for the first party of the year. Simon hadn’t really gone to many of the parties last school year being too caught up with his music and missing Wille. Wille hadn’t gone to any school parties since the Valentine’s ball where Frederika broke her nose, so he was more than ready to go to one now. Simon, not so much. It wasn’t that he didn’t like parties and having fun, it was more that he found drunk young people to be very uncharming to be around.

It had something to do with his upbringing and the way his father had been. He didn’t like to admit that it had gotten to him that much but it had. He was scared by his drunken father and his messy childhood. 

“Hey, look. The girls are already here!” Henry exclaimed once all the boys were let inside the palace. 

The music was loud and there were colored lights lighting up the otherwise dull building.

“This is exactly how I remember these parties!” Wille yelled over the music. 

“Have you been to these parties before?” Simon asked, surprised.

Henry leaned in on Simon’s personal space. “August threw many parties that he dragged Wille here along to.” 

“Yeah, it’s true!” Walter joined in. “Wille here was quite a party prince before you made him all boring.”

Wille looked like one who didn’t like where the conversation was going. Simon squeezed his hand. 

“I was not,” Wille mumbled, looking shyly at Simon. “I really wasn’t, Simon. It was just August and…” 

 

“Relax, Wille,” Simon said. “You are allowed to go out and have fun. I don't mind. Now, let’s dance.” 

“I don’t dance, Simon,” Wille tried to say, not sounding that convincing.

“Yes, you do. Come on, Wille. Have some fun!” Simon smiled happily and dragged Wille with him out on the dance floor while the others walked towards the girls. 

They stayed on the dance floor for a number or two, Wille slowly swaying from side to side, Simon full-on dancing, moving his hips in the most flirtatious way. And really, if that was intentional, who would blame him when his gorgeous boyfriend was right next to him? 

The music was loud and people were having fun in the dark room. Suddenly Wille was close behind Simon. Simon could clearly feel him behind him, swaying clumsily to the music, trying to match Simon’s moves. 

“Why are Henry, Walter, and Stella moving away from the others?” Wille whispered in one of Simon’s ears. 

“I don’t know. I wasn’t looking at them,” Simon replied. “Honestly, I’m surprised that you noticed them. I thought you only had eyes for me!” 

Wille placed a chaste kiss behind Simon’s ear.

“Do you think they’re still sleeping around?” Wille then whispered, and that whisper sent a shiver down Simon’s body.

“I just thought it was a one-time thing this summer,” Simon wondered aloud. Wille’s hands found their way around Simon’s torso, fingers tracing small circles around Simon’s belly button, an odd habit of Wille’s. 

“It doesn’t seem like that,” Wille just said. 

They were almost standing still on the dance floor, Wille holding Simon. Simon lovingly stroked Wille’s arms. It was nice, Simon thought, being together like this, not caring what others had to say about them just being young and in love. 

“What’s up with Frederika?” Wille continued. “She’s texting like mad, and it’s not to Stella because Stella seems occupied right now.” 

“Ohh, that!” Simon just said smiling. “I think she and Rosh have a pretty mutually-beneficial friendship going on or something like that.”

“Are they sleeping together too?” Wille exclaimed a bit too loud, causing some of the nearby people to look at them puzzled. 

“Shhh,” Simon hushed Wille, turning around to place a kiss on his lips. “I don’t think they want anybody to actually know. At least Rosh is not keen on talking about it.” 

“Then how do you know about it?” Wille asked, moving his forehead to rest on Simon’s.

“Ayub told me that he walked in on them just before the summer vacation started,” Simon smiled. “And apparently Rosh has been very distant the whole summer, living through her phone and stuff.” 

“Mmm,” Wille smiled back at Simon. “I remember when we were like that! Back then I thought I would die if I couldn’t check my phone every single second. Your texts were like a drug to me.” 

“Yeah?” Simon asked teasingly.

“Yeah!” Wille just said before kissing Simon passionately right there on the dance floor. They weren’t moving any longer, just standing there holding each other, kissing like two lovestruck teenagers, which to be honest, they were. Everything was nice, and good, and felt so perfect at that very moment. 

“Let’s go over to the others,” Wille said with a smile when pulling away from Simon to get some air. 

“Yeah, okay” Simon agreed, but when he turned around everyone except Maddison and Felice had gone away. 

“Where is everyone?” Simon asked once they were sitting beside the two girls on an old worn sofa. 

“Gone!” Maddison snarled, clearly tipsy. “Everyone left us to have sex!”

“What?” Wille asked.

“Yeah, so” Felice tried to explain, “Stella left with Henry and Walter - again - and then Frederika said she was going to meet someone from the town and stay the night there because Stella had sexiled her or something.” 

“Someone from town?” Simon said, not believing his own ears. Frederika and Rosh clearly still had some sort of agreement. 

“Yeah and like,” Maddison continued, “we tried to stop her and say stranger danger and all that, but she wouldn’t listen!” 

“She said she has known the person for a while now and that nothing was going to happen to her,” Felice finished. 

“Well, what if I say that I might know who the mysterious person is?” Simon teased the girls. 

“OMG! SIIIMOOOON! You have to tell us!” Clearly, Felice was a bit tipsy too. Wille snickered at Simon, clearly amused by their conversation.

 “Well, it actually might be Rosh. I’ve known that they have been sleeping around for some time now,” Simon said before changing the subject to something other than who their friends were having sex with.

Simon Eriksson shocks with a new daring haircut

At Rix FM Festival in Stockholm, the pop sensation Simon Eriksson surprised everyone with his new short haircut. The whole of Sweden has gotten to know the singer with his long, curly hair as first the boyfriend of Prince Wilhelm and later on as the talented singer and performer Simon Eriksson. His signature look has always been his long curls that he is known for throwing around and fidgeting with, but those days are over as he is now sporting a new short haircut. 

Simon performed at Rix FM’s annual festival in Stockholm yesterday and made the whole crowd ecstatic with his short, but energizing setlist. Together with Simon was also fellow singer Clara, the hip-hop group Two Hands Down, and many more who all showed us why Rix FM’s festivals are so popular amongst the youth of Sweden. 

As always, the artists can be greeted at the Rix FM greeting tent where Simon was present this year. Many fans gathered around the young star to collect autographs and pictures together with him. A lucky fan who met him had this to say about him: “He is so nice and so pretty and he’s just the nicest person on earth! I really feel so blessed to have been able to see him live this early on in his career, and I cannot wait to see where all of this will take him!”

 

How many rooms do you think would be appropriate?” Simon asked one afternoon in September.

They were sitting in Wille’s room, doing nothing in particular. Simon was seated on the bed, his back resting against the wall, legs neatly folded, and his laptop balanced on them. He had decided that it was about time he started looking for a small apartment in Stockholm. Not that he was going to move away from his home right now, but it wasn’t easy to get an affordable apartment in Stockholm but thanks to his music he actually had savings now that could be used to pay a deposit.

Wille was sitting on the floor as he so often did, reading a book for school.

“Huh?” the Prince said, not having paid much attention to what Simon said. Normally it was Simon who was all about schoolwork and not Wille.

“How many rooms for an apartment?” Simon asked once more. “Two?”

“Two would be a good start, I guess,” Wille said slowly.

“What are you thinking about?” Simon asked, putting his laptop aside to move closer to Wille. “Tell me love.”

“I always imagined the two of us moving in together when you moved to Stockholm,” Wille shyly said, reaching his hand up over his head and onto the bed to reach part of Simon. “So maybe three rooms? Bedroom, living room, and a small office?”

Simon gently put Wille’s book away and replaced it with his laptop before laying himself flat on his stomach across the bed, head resting just beside Wille’s head.

“Okay, which part of the city are we looking at then?” Simon said, placing a soft kiss on Wille’s cheek.

“Ohhh, umm. I don’t know,” Wille mumbled. “Would it be best to live near the studio?”

“I guess, but it’s kind of expensive to get an apartment that big there. “Maybe we can live in the outskirts of Stockholm and then just commute back and forth?”

Wille tilted his head to look at Simon.

“Simon. You are aware that I would pay too, right?” Wille smiled at him.

 “Ohh, yeah, no. I wasn’t sure that would be possible,” Simon said shyly.

“Well it would be very possible,” Wille said before kissing him. “Let’s look at what’s on the market and then make a list.”

“You and your silly lists,” Simon laughed.

“We should also make a list of our wishes for the apartment. Like how the bathroom should be, should there be a balcony, should there be a entry phone, etc.,” Wille continued.

“Since when have you become such a practical guy?” Simon teased and jumped down on the floor to join Wille. “Have you been reading How to Not be Royal 101 lately?”

“Shut up, Simon,” Wille smiled before kissing the curly-haired boy next to him. “But like, I don’t think I would like a small bathroom. You know one of those where the shower head is directly above the toilet.”

“Okay, now the posh boy is back,” Simon teased. “We have to start small Wille, work our way up and stuff.” 

“But, that’s not true Simon,” Wille looked at Simon. Simon looked at Wille with questions in his eyes. 

“I don’t have to start small, Simon,” Wille continued. “I can buy us an actual apartment in Vasastan if that’s what we would like, Simon.” 

Simon looked at him in disbelief. He had, for a moment, forgotten just how privileged Wille was when it came to money. He was 18 years old now. He received his own appanage and since he was living at Hillerska, which the court paid for, much of that money was of no use to him. He’d accumulated a hefty amount in his savings in the last year he was attending Hillerska. 

“I want to pay half of the rent,” Simon blurted without thinking how that would sound to Wille. 

“But you don’t have to, Simon. I can take care of that,” Wille tried to explain. 

“No, but I want to pay my own rent, Wille. I want to have some kind of independence,” Simon explained himself. “And I want my name on the mailbox. I doubt we would be allowed to share a mailbox without being married.” 

“Hmm, I haven’t thought about that,” Wille said. “But that’s something I have to talk to the court about then. I want to live with you, Simon, not just come by every second day.” 

“Hey,” Simon removed the laptop from Wille’s legs and crawled on top of him, lacing his fingers into Wille’s hair. “We’re going to live together. The place is going to be yours as much as it's going to be mine, and it doesn’t matter what our mailbox says.” He placed a kiss on Wille’s nose. “I just want to live with you, okay?” 

Wille smiled at him. “Live with me and pay half of the rent” Wille teased him. 

“Mmm, that too!” Simon laughed before diving in for a kiss. “Are you going to tell your mom?” 

“Tell her what?” Wille asked, growing all tense. Simon looked at him knowing full well that Wille knew what they were talking about. “Ugh, I don’t want to speak with her, Simon.” 

“I know,” another kiss was placed on Wille. “But you have to tell her this. And also talk with her about university. You don’t want to go into the military, not right now at least, so you shouldn’t.”

“I hate that you are always right,” Wille groaned and hid his face on Simon’s shoulder. “Where is my phone?” 

Simon looked around and found Wille’s phone on the desk, snapped it shut, and then handed it to Wille. “Call her now. Get it over with. I’m right here!” 

Wille looked at the phone as if it was poisonous but finally, he called his mother, and like always he put the phone on speaker.

“Wilhelm!” the Queen breathed into the phone.

“Mama,” Wille said, sounding tense.

“How are you, sweetheart? Everything good at school?” she asked. 

“I’m calling you to inform you of how things will be after I graduate from Hillerska,” Wille said. Simon hated how cold he sounded. He wrapped himself around Wille, arms, and legs twisting around his slim body as a blanket. Wille’s heart was beating too fast. Simon could clearly hear that when he placed his cheek on Wille’s chest. 

“What do you mean, Wilhelm,” the Queen started to sound more formal herself. “We’ve already made a plan for you.” 

“The thing is,” Wille pushed on, lacing his fingers into Simon’s short hair. “The plan is not going to work.”

“It most certainly is!” the Queen hissed. 

“No,” Wille kept going. “When I graduate I’m going to move in together with Simon somewhere in Stockholm…” 

“Wilhelm you can’t…” the Queen tried to interrupt but it didn’t stop Wille. 

“I’m going to move in with him and then I’m going to start at the university. If everything goes as planned, I’ll be studying ancient Greek history.” 

“Wilhelm, try to be reasonable. That is not a plan we can use for anything,” the Queen tried to reason with him. Wille didn’t listen. He just hid his face in Simon’s hair nuzzling his nose around like he was trying to savor every last scent of Simon. 

“It’s something I can use, Mama. I’ll still do the work the court needs me to do, but I will live with Simon, and I will attend the university. There is no other option.” Wille sounded way too calm compared to his heartbeat. 

“Wilhelm, please try to…” 

Wille closed his phone breathing heavily. 

“I’m proud of you, love,” Simon said and kissed Wille on his chest even though he was wearing a t-shirt. Wille said nothing, just hunched himself closer to Simon, taking all the physical comfort Simon offered him at that very moment. 

“It will get better, Wille. She’ll understand at some point,” Simon instead tried to say. 

“You don’t have to defend her, Simon. It is what it is with her,” Wille said.

“Wille, you doing what’s good for you is good,” he kissed Wille’s collarbone, tugging down Wille’s t-shirt. “I really like it when you stand up for yourself and do what’s good for you.” He let his hip grind down towards Wille’s, which caused Wille to moan.

“Simon…” Wille whined. “What are you doing?” 

“Showing you how much I love you,” Simon stated, grinding down once more. 

“Mmm, do that again,” Wille moaned, still holding onto Simon, kind of hiding behind his body, so Simon did that again and again and again. 

One shirt was thrown on the floor and soon after another followed. A pair of pants, socks, and then a pair of boxers were next. Soon Simon was sitting completely naked on Wille’s lap trying to open the fly of Wille’s pants. It was surprisingly hard to do, but after some struggles, he finally managed to get the fly open and free Wille’s hard cock. 

They didn’t have long, Simon knew that. They had rowing practice, which had become something he actually enjoyed doing ever since August and Vincent were out of the picture.  

Simon grabbed both of their cocks in his hand and started to slowly get the both of them off. It was rough on his skin, sitting completely naked on top of Wille who was still kind of wearing his jeans, but Simon didn’t care. He didn’t think they actually had time to do anything else if Wille was going to have a chance at being at practice remotely on time.

“More, Simon,” Wille grunted into his neck.

“Shh, babe,” Simon hushed and went faster. Their cocks felt each other as his hands slid up and down. It wasn’t perfect. In fact, it was quite rough, but they had to make do. “We haven’t got time right now, okay? Later.” 

It was a promise Simon was sure he would keep, he just didn’t know when later actually was. But he didn’t care right now. He was already too close to care, so he just kept pumping their cocks at a frantic pace until he came all over their stomachs. 

It made it easier for him to pump Wille to his climax, coating Wille’s cock with his own cum, which made the strokes more smooth and fluid, and it wasn’t long before Wille came in two wild thrusts, plastering cum all over their torsos as well. 

When he was sure Wille had shot all his release Simon pushed their bodies together, hugging Wille, kissing him everywhere he could reach, whispering small love confessions into his skin. Wille was leisurely letting Simon pamper him, still hiding in Simon’s crook of his neck, savoring every scent that there was on Simon. They stayed like this until Wille’s alarm went off, signaling that it was time for his rowing practice. 

“Shit, Wille,” Simon laughed when he crawled down from Wille’s lap. “You need to wear some new pants before going anywhere!”

Wille looked at him with an open mouth.

“Well, you need to get dressed if you want to go anywhere at all,” Wille just shot back before standing up to find some clean clothes for him to wear.

Notes:

You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 32: Chapter 32

Summary:

Wille had suggested sharing notes but Simon had soon forbidden that. He could not understand a single thing of the notes Wille took. Wille was much more analytical than Simon and had an ability to remember everything he read. Simon, not so much.

Notes:

I’m mentioning religion and somehow got philosophic around it. If you are sensible to this topic or to people questioning religion you might need to skip the 1/3 of this chapter or so. Sorry, not sorry.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Wille, I need help with this! How are you supposed to get dressed in this on your own?” Simon said, confused by his image in the mirror.

 

“Relax, it’s not any different than putting on your school uniform, Simon,” Wille said somewhere from behind Simon. “You’re just nervous about today.” 

 

“Well yeah, maybe I am, but it’s not every day your niece gets christened. I’m her godfather, Wille.” 

 

“So am I, Simon,” Wille said before walking up behind Simon and placing a chaste kiss on his cheek. 

 

“Simon! Simon? Are you ready yet?” The door to Simon’s room burst open and in walked Sara with a crying Sophia in her arms. “She wont stop, Simon!” 

 

“Hello, Sara. Nice of you to knock,” Wille said from behind Simon. He was resting his head on Simon’s shoulder, arms wrapped around his torso. This was a way Wille had grown fond of standing with Simon. It wasn’t too daring a move for the royal court to say something about it, but it was still a way for Wille to show how he loved and cherished Simon. 

 

“Shut up Wille! I haven’t slept for almost 6 months, my tits get mistreated multiple times a day, and I constantly feel like a failure!” Sara cried. “I don’t need your bullshit right now!”

 

“Well maybe her father should help you out some more then?” Wille was quick to shoot back.

 

“Maybe you should just mind your own–” Sara shot back. 

 

“Everybody just hush,” Simon interrupted them, placing himself between Sara and his boyfriend. “Sara, hand me Sophia and go get ready yourself. You should look beautiful today! It’s a big day after all. Wille and I will look after Sophia, okay? Where is Mamá?” 

 

“In the shower,” Sara said as she handed her daughter to Simon with a grateful look on her face. 

 

“And August?” Simon continued clapping Sophia on the back, trying to calm the crying girl down.

 

“He’s at the hotel making sure the seating arrangements are fine,” Sara hissed before stomping out of their room, Simon’s room, and presumably onwards to her own to get ready. 

 

“Poor Sara,” Simon mused. “She is so stressed out because of this. I just wish she would demand that August would help out some more.” Sophia, who had stopped crying once she was in Simon’s arms, made some small noise that made Simon smile. Even though he had thought it very wrong of Sara to have this baby, he had to admit that Sophia was close to perfect. If only she would actually sleep at night. 

 

“It’s so hard to imagine that she’s 50% August,” Wille suddenly exclaimed. 

 

“Huh?” Simon asked.

 

“Sophia,” Wille stroked the little girl on her head before motioning to Simon that he would like to hold her. Simon carefully handed her to Wille.

 

“It’s like… I understand that she’s beautiful because of Sara and her genes, because you are beautiful,” Wille tried to explain. “But August... He’s just so insufferable all the time.” The prince sat himself on the bed, looking intensely at Sophia in his arms.

 

Simon snorted, which made Wille look at him. 

 

“Well he is, Simon!” Wille exclaimed, looking almost offended by Simon’s reaction before turning his attention back to Sophia. 

 

“I know, love,” Simon said, placing a kiss on Wille’s cheek. “But just because one is insufferable does not mean that one is not good looking.” 

 

“Do you think August looks good?” Wille asked, snapping his head away from Sohpia and towards Simon. “Do you like, think he’s hot, Simon?”

 

Simon just smiled at his boyfriend before he walked out of the room. He was ready to leave–both this conversation and this house.  

 

“Simon, wait” Wille yelled after him, getting up as carefully as he could with Sophia in his arms. “August, do you really, hey Simon…” Wille hurried after Simon out into the hallway in an attempt to keep up with Simon. Simon laughed goodheartedly when Wille was finally beside him again. 

 

“August got nothing on you, love,” Simon said before kissing Wille passionately on the mouth, Sophia now drifting off to sleep in Wille’s arms.  

 

The christening itself was boring except for the fact that both Erik and Tindra attended, as well as the Queen and Ludvig. Wille didn’t say a single word to his parents, nor did Simon, but they greeted Erik and Tindra kindheartedly before splitting with Tindra who then joined the Queen and Ludvig in the church. The Queen and her husband would only attend the service in the church before they had to head off to more important matters. Both Wille and Simon were immensely happy when they heard that. None of them had talked face-to-face with the Queen after Wille decided to move out of Drottningholm and having to act like nothing was wrong here at christening was tiring and felt so fake. Simon hated how fake the whole set up for the royal family actually was. He knew Wille hated it, which made him feel a bit better about the whole charade they put up outside the church. 

 

Erik, Wille, and Simon were all 3 going to be godfathers. Felice was also there. Sara had insisted that she would be a godmother and since Sophia was going to inherit August’s title, he hadn’t protested against that. Since Felice was of noble blood too, everything looked fine to the outside world.

 

“I didn’t know your parents would be here,” Felice said once they were together in the small room they were told to wait in before the christening. “It’s been a long time since I’ve last seen them!”

 

“Well, they are,” Wille said, dryly. Simon took his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

 

“Why aren’t you talking with them? I thought things were better with them and Simon and everything?” Felice wondered out aloud. 

 

“It was,” Simon said, only keeping an eye on Wille. He was afraid Wille was going to spiral down a path of his very dark and anxious thoughts any moment giving this conversation topic. 

 

“Then what happened?” Felice continued to ask.

 

“Mama and the entire court and PR team broke into my room,” Wille mumbled. “While Simon and I were in bed…” 

 

“OMG! How? Why?” Felice exclaimed in shock. 

 

“Just let it be, okay,” Erik butted in. “How are you, Felice? Did you have a pleasant summer?” 

 

Felice enthusiastically started telling Erik all about her summer and how her family was doing, and Simon felt grateful for Erik's ability to capture everybody's attention and steer a conversation to a desired topic because that meant that Simon had time to check on Wille. 

 

“You okay, love?” Simon whispered. Wille closed his eyes but nodded. Simon took that as good enough and kissed their interlaced hands. 

 

“I love you! No matter what,” he then whispered into Wille’s ear before they went into the church behind Sara and August who was carrying little Sophia. 

 

Simon felt like the ceremony dragged on for hours when it really was just close to one hour in total. The priest said some stuff, they sang, the priest said some more or maybe she read something from the Bible, Simon didn’t pay attention, they sang another song, then it was time for the actual christening of Sophia. It went smoothly, Sophia slept through it all; not even getting water on her head bothered her. Then they all got the priest's blessing, there was one more song, and then it was time for the communion, which Simon had no need to participate in. When Wille got up to walk towards the altar, Simon looked after him all puzzled. Why would Wille feel the need to do this? 

 

“Why did you do that?” Simon whispered once Wille had returned to his seat beside Simon.

 

“Do what? Communion?” Wille whispered back. 

 

Simon nodded.

 

“I have to. Do you remember how I told you way back about my family being Protestants and married in a church and all that?” Wille tried to explain while still whispering. 

 

Simon nodded again. 

 

“Well, this is one of the things we must do too. Mama is mad that you didn’t go as well,” Wille whispered.

 

“I’m not going to take communion. I don’t believe in that, Wille,” Simon explained himself. 

 

“Well, explain that to the royal court and the PR team,” Wille only said before turning silent again. 

 

Simon was growing a bid mad too. Screw the Queen and the court and everybody else. He was not going to do something he didn’t believe in just to please someone else. Maybe he would have done that two years ago, but not now. How was he supposed to say that he believed in a God who didn’t believe in how he loved? Screw that, the Pope now has said that persons with homosexual tendencies are children of God. God loves them. God accompanies them. Maybe it was said just a little too late. What about all the years LGBTQ+ people have fought for their rights and acceptance in society. Where was the church then? Not by their side, that’s for sure. No matter which religion you talk about, it has not backed up the LGBTQ+ community before it was absolutely necessary. No, Simon couldn’t take communion because he didn’t believe in it. He could, to some degree, understand why Wille had to participate in such a ceremonial ritual to support his family and what they stood for, but he would never bring himself to do it. But what did Simon know about churches and religion and the difference between the Catholic church and the Protestant church? For all he knew priests had not been allowed to get married at some point in time and women were not allowed to be priests too. But today the church service was led by a female priest, so what did he really know? 

 

Fall dragged on achingly slow. After being so busy during the spring and summer it was weird to have so much time not being busy. There were no concerts or interviews all the time, school was manageable and didn’t feel overwhelming even though it was their 3rd and last year. Things were good, but also a bit boring.

 

Simon and Wille had found a rhythm in their everyday life. They would text each other throughout the morning and then Wille would greet Simon at the bus stop and walk with him and Sara to class where they would sit next to each other throughout the lessons. 

 

Wille had suggested sharing notes but Simon had soon forbidden that. He could not understand a single thing of the notes Wille took. Wille was much more analytical than Simon and had an ability to remember everything he read. Simon, not so much. Simon had to take notes of everything said in class and highlight everything in his textbooks. He even used different colors to remember the importance of what he had highlighted. Wille thought it was confusing but it worked for Simon. He knew what it meant. 

 

They ate lunch together with the other boys from Forest Ridge, participated in small talk and whatnot, but they never shared too much about themselves to anyone. 

 

After classes they did their study hour together with their group of friends before they would go to each of their extra-curricular activities. Wille was rowing and running around in the woods because that was apparently something that helped when rowing, Simon didn’t quite know why, and Simon often had choir practice together with Felice. 

 

Maria was still in the choir and she kept sending Simon side-eyes and seeking him out. Luckily Felice now knew that Simon wouldn’t talk to her so she always made sure to help Simon out and find an out for him so he didn’t need to speak with Maria. Simon was immensely grateful for Felice and her clearer ways of handling awkward and unwanted situations. He had more than once thought that he needed an assistant or manager or something like her because Felice was everything when it came to the term girl boss.

 

Everything went fine until one day after choir when Felice wasn’t there. She was running a fever and had to stay in bed all day. Maria approached Simon, looking like a mix between excited and disappointed. Simon couldn't quite decide which was most accurate.

 

"Simon," Maria said in a sing-song voice.

 

"Maria, heyyy…" Simon said not knowing what to do to get out of the situation. 

 

“Have you talked with them yet?” She jumped right to the point.

 

“No, I haven’t,” Simon said, getting ready to leave the room, but was stopped by a hand grabbing onto his arm. It was Maria.

 

“When are you going to do it?” she asked, looking him directly in the eyes. 

 

“Honestly, Maria. I’m not going to. If you want a record deal, you must do the hard work. I did, and it paid off.” Simon looked at her, angry at how she thought she was entitled to use his connections for her own interests. “Now get off me; I don’t want you to touch me.” 

 

“I’m going to do it, you know!” Maria exclaimed when Simon started to walk away from her. 

 

“It’s such a low blow to blackmail me into setting up a meeting between you and my record label, Maria,” Simon started, eyes darting to Wille who had appeared in the door to the choir room, bag full of sportswear thrown over his shoulder. “If you think it will help you get your career going, posting pictures of me and Wille, then that’s your choice, but I’m not giving in to you.” 

 

Wille was by Simon’s side now, capturing him in a hug. 

 

“Are you okay?” Wille whispered into Simon’s ear. Simon shook his head no, because right now he wasn’t okay. Maria was being a brat for no reason at all. Simon hugged Wille, not letting go of him. 

 

“Hey, Maria,” Wille said, still hugging Simon. “I’ll just sneak Simon away for a while. We need to plan something for Erik’s wedding and stuff.” 

 

Wille walked Simon towards the door, still hugging him, so Wille had to walk backwards to get out of the room. Simon had an idea that it was on purpose that Wille walked like this, not wanting to let Maria out of sight for only a second. Simon appreciated the way Wille tried to shield him, take care of him, but it was also a bit silly. 

 

Out in the hallway, Wille finally let go of Simon only to wrap one arm around his shoulders as they walked towards the café. They never walked like this. They always just held hands, but Simon didn’t question it. 

 

Wille ordered their usuals, a normal cup of coffee for himself and a café latte for Simon; they sat down in a corner and found the poem they were to analyze in Swedish. 

 

“Is she going to do it?” Wille tentatively asked Simon.

 

“Mmm, I think so,” Simon answered, looking up from the poem. 

 

“And you’re not okay with that?” Wille asked, while actually knowing the answer. 

 

“It’s just,” Simon sighed. “I don’t want to give in to her demands. If Daniel turned her down he has his reasons for that. But Maria simply doesn't understand that. And I don’t understand why posting pictures of us would make that any better. I knew it was coming when I kept refusing to arrange a meeting but still…”

 

“It annoys you,” Wille finished for Simon. 

 

“It really does!” Simon exclaimed. “But what can we do? Let’s just get on with this poem thing.”

 

“I could always call the court and make them do something about it?” Wille suggested in a small voice. 

 

“No, Wille,” Simon said firmly. “We’re not going to get the court involved in our lives again. We talked about that. They make you miserable.”

 

“Mmm, but it would help you out,” Wille mumbled. “Right now you’re the one who’s miserable. 

 

“I am not, Wille,” Simon said, running his hand down Wille’s well-styled hair. “I’m just nervous and angry and getting lost in my head. It will all be okay, okay?” 

 

Wille smiled at Simon. 

 

“Okay,” he agreed. “You want to sleep at my place tonight?” 

 

“It’s against the rules, Wille,” Simon deadpanned. 

 

“You’ve done it before, Simon,” Wille just said, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

“God, you’re lucky you’re so cute, Wille,” Simon said, giving him a small peck on the lips. “I would have turned you into the headmistress long before for breaking the school rules if you weren’t this cute.” 

 

“I’ll show you just how cute I can be tonight!” Wille teased. 

 

“Shut up, Wille!” Simon mumbled looking around before placing his entire hand on Wille’s face to turn it down towards the poem. “Now work, we have other stuff to do tonight than school work!” 

 

PinkyBlond Did you guys know that I attend the same school as @SimonErikssonOfficial and Prince Wilhelm? Well I do… Do you want me to spill some tea?  

 

SimonsBabe OMG! I’m so jealous of you! Show us everything!

ThatWOne OMG! It’s an orange backpack! 

 

+158 more comments

 

PinkyBlond @ SimonErikssonOfficial and Wilhelm in class. I kid you not. They are always together! Screams unhealthy relationship to me!

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

ddddd OMG! This is the cutest<3

mmmm: I love your post. These pics are just so epic. But yeah, you should def be able to live your own life even though you’re in a relationship. I am sure Simon feels trapped

mfvtyfty Maybe it’s like the whole Britney Spears thing. Maybe the Royal Family is really using Simon to gain popularity?

PinkyBlond OMG! Yes. Poor Simon! Wilhelm is always just there or pops up out of the blue, smothering dear Simon in touches.

dddd It makes me so angry to read this, Why isn’t Simon standing up for himself?!

 

+1957 more comments

 

Maria’s post had really caused an uproar amongst Simon’s fans. One that was based on wrong information and misleading Instagram posts. Wille’s family and everyone working on their public reputation had been mad, to say the least, but the boys insisted that nothing was going to be done from the court’s side. They needed to handle this themselves. They needed to be the ones in control of the situation; however, it was clearly Maria who was in control, but they didn’t mention that when speaking to the royal PR team.  

 

They came up with a plan with the help of Daniel and some of Clara’s connections. There was an interview and photoshoot with Girls Magazine where Simon would try to address some of the hate they had gotten as a couple.

 

The photoshoot was hell. It was already early in November and the temperature had dropped significantly throughout the last week. Simon was supposed to have pictures taken of him outside, and even though he was wearing some kind of jacket the wind made it unbearable to be outside in what he was wearing for longer periods of time. It didn’t help that Wille had joined him on the shoot, sitting in a long, soft, warm jacket looking all nice and unbothered by the weather. It was much better as soon as they headed inside where he was photographed too. If the look on Wille’s face was anything to go by, Simon looked good in all the outfits he was made to wear and Simon secretly liked that he could turn Wille on just by putting on some clothes. 

 

They made sure that everybody on the photoshoot knew they were truly together. They shared opinions about the photos between each other and shared a cup of coffee. Wille engulfed Simon in his warm jacket whenever there was a break between the shots and they were exchanging small, but not so subtle touches and kisses all the time. It was nice and comforting to have Wille with him for once and when the time came to be interviewed the magazine even dared to ask if Wille would join the interview. Wille politely declined saying that all interviews with him had to be arranged through the royal PR team beforehand. It was a good enough excuse for the magazine and they went on to interview Simon. 

 

SimonErikssonOfficial Make sure to read the exclusive interview that I’ve been given to Girls Magazine next month! Link will be posted in bio! 

 

Wille

Please save me, Simon

 

Simon

Just go with the flow, Wille

 

Wille

But it’s really stupid!

 

Simon

You love to go to the spa, Wille. Just try to have some fun.

 

Wille

I don’t want to!

 

Simon

Now you sound like a child. Pull yourself together! 

 

Wille

But SIIMOONN!!!

 

Simon

No, Wille. Just go be there for Erik and ignore August!

 

Simon put away his phone and went back to concentrate on the conversation he was having with Ayub and Rosh. They had finally found a time when they could meet up, go to their local pizzeria, and then go home to Ayub’s place and play some games. 

 

“Are you done being boring?” Ayub asked, mouth full of pizza.

 

“Yeah, sorry; it’s just Wille. He’s going to attend Erik’s bachelor party and he’s not happy about it” Simon answered. 

 

“Why not? It’s his brother. He should be excited about it!” Rosh said. 

 

“Well, it’s August who organized it all,” Simon shrugged like that was going to explain everything. And it mostly did. 

 

“Well, August is a dick. How are they related again?” Ayub asked.

 

“Something with August’s father being the cousin to the Queen or something like that,” Simon answered his friend.

 

“Hmm,” Rosh said, looking more at her phone than at what she was doing, which was drinking some coke from a glass. 

 

“Earth to Rosh!” Simon teased. 

 

“Huh?” she looked up from her phone. 

 

“Are we bothering you? Would you rather go have pizza with your phone?” Ayub continued, laughing at the color Rosh’s face turned. 

 

“Shut up, will you,” Rosh hissed. 

 

“Hey if you want Frederika to join us it’s okay with me!” Simon laughed at her. 

 

“Yeah, me too!” Ayub agreed. “Frederika is cool.” 

 

“Shut up, I said,” Rosh exclaimed once more. “We’re just texting. You of all people should know how that is, Simon!” 

 

“Ohh, I know,” Simon smiled, “but that doesn’t mean that I wont bother you about it!”

 

“Really, Simon?” Rosh looked astonished. “That’s how much our friendship means to you?” 

 

“Hey, relax, Rosh,” Simon said, holding up his hands. 

 

“I don’t think she can relax when they are texting,” Ayub chimed in. “I’ve seen some of their texts and let me tell you. They get steamy!” 

 

“When have you seen my texts?” Rosh asked, offended. “I’ve never shown them to you!” 

 

“No, but we sit next to each other in class. You text in class,” Ayub just said. 

 

“Whatever dude!” Rosh just said, turning her attention back to her phone.

 

“How are things going with you and…” Simon trailed off. He couldn’t remember the name of Ayub's girlfriend, which was not good. “...your girlfriend?”

 

“My girlfriend, who is named Isabella by the way,” Ayub shot Simon a pointed look. “...is doing just fine, thanks. We are good, taking it slow and stuff.” 

 

“Dude, you have been taking it slower than turtles, what is wrong with you guys?” Rosh asked. “Don’t you like… like the way she looks or whatever?” 

 

“I don’t know. We just don’t really feel the need to be, you know… together like that,” Ayub explained. 

 

“But why?” Simon asked, puzzled. He couldn’t imagine not wanting Wille like that. He had always thought Wille was hot and had always fantasized about him in not so innocent ways. 

 

“Are you asexsuel, Ayub?” Rosh boldly asked. 

 

“I don’t know….” Ayub said hesitantly. "You guys talk about sex all the time, but I don’t feel any desire to be with someone in that way. Not yet." 

 

“I think it's completely normal to not feel sexual attraction towards other people. Love doesn’t have to equal sex!” Simon said, earning himself a huff from Rosh. “You can have strong, meaningful relationships with partners that don’t necessarily involve sex.” 

 

“Like you would know anything about that!” Rosh finally said. Simon threw a pizza crust her way. 

 

“Yeah. For all we know you and Wille are like rabbits,” Ayub laughed.

 

“Hey, no! We are not going there. Back to you, Ayub,” Simon derailed their attempt to make him speak about him and Wille. “Have you never felt sexual attraction towards someone?” 

 

Ayub thought for a moment. 

 

“I have a huge physical, romantic, and emotional attraction towards Isabella. I want to touch, hold, or cuddle her all the time but…” Ayub paused. 

 

“But don’t you like… wank?” Rosh asked, curiously. 

 

“Well, yes… But that’s not the same, Rosh” Ayub answered, honestly. 

 

“I'm with Ayub here,” Simon chimed in. “Wanking off and actually having sex is way different.” 

 

“So you like to get yourself off but not let others do it?” Rosh asked curiously. 

 

“Something like that,” Ayub said shyly. “I just don’t like the thought of others touching me like that. It’s really disturbing for me.” 

 

“Fair enough,” Simon said, trying to make Ayub feel okay in this conversation. He clearly hadn’t come to terms fully with his own sexuality and Simon didn’t want to push him or anything. 

 

“Anyways, are we going to play LOL later or what?” Simon continued. 

 

“Yeah, of course we are. Why are you even asking that?” Rosh wondered while taking a sip of her drink. 

 

They finished their meal and walked the short way home to Ayub’s place. Everything felt like the old days before Simon had been broadcasted to the whole nation as the boy who kissed their little prince, and it was nice for once to just be a teenager together with his normal teenage friends. He didn’t have to think about how he looked or appeared or what he said.

Ayub’s room was like it always was, dark and messy, but it didn’t matter. Rosh and Simon found their laptops and connected to the wifi and then their night of gaming began. It was only mildly interrupted by Frederika texting Rosh or Wille texting Simon, but nobody commented on it. They just enjoyed their time together. 

 

Wille

I have to admit that this is a bit nice

 

Simon

See, I told you that you would like it

 

Wille

Yeah, yeah. It would be better if you were here, though

 

Simon

Sap. The spa is not quite my thing

 

Wille

It could be if you gave it a try…

 

Simon

I already did, Wille. Not my thing

 

Wille

You could try again - together with me

 

Simon 

Wille…

 

Wille

This is what you’re missing!

 

Simon

Wow babe, You’re a stunner. The best at taking selfies….

 

Wille

You only ever call me that in bed so it must do something for you!

 

Simon

Call you what?

 

Wille

Babe - you only call me that when we’re making love

 

Simon

Ohhh, I didn’t notice

 

Wille

Well, I noticed.

 

Simon

Do you mind?

 

Wille

No, I haven’t called you out on it before now, have I? I don’t mind Simon

 

Simon

Good. But also… Are we always making love or does some of what we do fall in the category of fucking?

 

Wille

I'm not going to answer that, Simon

 

Simon

Why not?

 

Wille

Because for me it’s always an act done from love

 

Simon

Have I told you how much I love you?

 

Wille

Not within the last hour, no

 

Simon

I love you more than life itself, Wille. I couldn’t imagine a day without you in my life. You are everything to me <3 

 

Wille

Ditto 

 

Simon

Also, fuck you, you can’t just ditto after that!

 

Wille

I just did <3

 

GM : When and how did you find out you wanted to be an artist?

SE : I can’t exactly tell you when I found out because I feel like I’ve always known that I wanted to do something with music. Since I was a little kid, I’ve been singing and have dreamed about seeing myself on big stages performing like other great artists.

GM : Your career is so far devoted to music. What can you tell us about this aspect of your life?

SE : Today, I continue to work hard on my music. Probably harder than ever. Hopefully, I can release my second album in the future. I want to see my music topping the charts around the world one day. That is one of my dreams!

GM : What can you share with us about your plans for the future?

SE : Right now, I’m working on my music. I’m not in the studio every day, but I write songs, and, hopefully, I’ll drop my second album in the future. The next song is out soon, really soon.

GM : Who are your biggest inspirations, and why?

SE : My biggest inspiration is my mom because she’s a warrior. She’s been through a lot and, still, she carries herself with class and confidence. She’s a loving human being, and one day, I hope I’m a fraction of how strong she is.

GM : What things make you lose control, and how do you protect your mental health ?

OR : I don’t really let anything make me lose control. I did when I was younger. I was very aware of how people saw me and what they thought of me and that made me almost lose my mind with worry. That was not healthy. I don’t like losing control; it’s scary. Now, I only lose control if I let myself do it. I just hang out with the people I love and with my family, my boyfriend. It’s important to be open about our feelings, and that’s something that my friends, my partner, and I talk about a lot.

GM : Which message would you like to share with those young people who might be having difficult times because of being or feeling different?

SE : I know how it is to feel different. Just know that it’ll get better and easier with time. Know that you’re not alone and that there are people who love you for who you are!

GM : Anything else you would like to tell the readers?

SE : Keep your eyes open because my new single will be out really soon! And thank you all for your loving support; I am so grateful for that even though some have turned against my relationship with my long-time partner they still support me and my work. It means the world. That being said, Wilhelm and I would actually like to ask for some privacy, especially when we’re in school. We are both finishing studenten this school year and we would really like to keep focus on that instead of being distracted by our fellow peers taking photos of us and sharing those photos online together with theories and opinions about our relationship. It is tiring to keep defending something that shouldn’t need to be defended. Wilhelm and I are together; we are so happy, and no one is taking advantage of anyone in this relationship! We are happy together and have been that for nearly two years now. 

Notes:

I love every comment I get <3
You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 33: Chapter 33

Summary:

Wille just nodded and didn't even reply to Walter. Simon looked at him. What was up with Wille? If he didn’t know any better he would think that…

Notes:

WARNING: Some very lovely words are being said by Wille. If you don’t want to be even more in love with Wilmon you should stop reading now. 😊

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

As December came along, so did the snow. It wasn't snowing all the time but switching between snow and rain, which made the roads very slippery. Walking outside between classes, Forest Ridge and the main building at Hillerska was difficult and students would fall flat on their asses from time to time if they weren’t careful. 

 

“Why is this so hard?!” Henry exclaimed one morning when they were trying to walk from Forest Ridge to their classroom. 

 

“It’s because it’s so wet and slippery, Henry,” Wille commented, tired from staying up way too late chatting with Erik about the upcoming wedding and keeping Simon entertained. “That’s why it’s hard!” 

 

The other boys stopped and looked at Wille who just stood holding Simon’s hand. Simon had spent the night in Wille’s room, something he did more and more often. They had found out that the teachers didn’t dare comment on it, so why would they not spend more time together when they had the chance? 

 

“What did you just say?” Walter asked, not daring to look at Wille. 

 

“I said that it’s hard because it’s wet and slippery,” Wille said looking confused. It was Simon who burst out laughing first, closely followed by the other two.

 

“What?” Wille looked so lost and finally Simon found him absolutely adorable standing like that not knowing what was going on.

 

“How much do you know about wet and slippery, Wille?” Simon asked. “Because I’m full on gay. You won’t find anyone more gay than me here at Hillerska, and even I know what was wrong with what you just said!” 

 

They started to walk again, not daring to be late for class. They walked in silence the rest of the way, Wille clearly thinking hard to try and understand why the others had laughed at him. The grounds were wet and slippery.  

 

“Well, I like them wet and slippery,” Henry mumbled once they were almost inside the classroom.

 

“OMG!” Wille then exclaimed. “Now I get it!”

 

Simon looked at his boyfriend who was blushing furiously now that he knew what he said. 

 

“There you go, love. No one can fool you in the morning, huh?!” Simon teased. 

 

“Shut up, Simon!” Wille said to Simon who had started walking towards their seats. 

 

Simon couldn’t help but smile as Wille sauntered after Simon, all flushed and embarrassed by what he had just said. He knew he should make sure Wille was okay and not wandering around in his embarrassed state, but he just looked so adorable and cute at that moment. 

 

“You’re staring,” Wille whispered to Simon just as their teacher walked in and all students stood up to greet Mr. Englund. 

 

The class went on as usual, Mr. Englund left Simon and Wille alone, only asking them questions whenever they themselves put their hands in the air. Simon couldn’t help thinking about how much of a hypocrite Mr. Englund was. Last year he had treated Simon very poorly as soon as Wille was out of the picture. Or not out of the picture, Wille had always been with Simon, but he hadn’t been at the school. Now, Mr. Englund was respectful towards both young men and did not dare to call out Simon in class as long as Wille was by his side. It was all very disturbing to think about, but nevertheless Simon was grateful for the peace Wille’s title for once gave them. 

 

At the end of the class their teacher approached their table with some papers in hand.

 

“If the Prince has an opportunity to look through some of this while away it would be greatly appreciated,” he said as he started placing a neatly organized stack of paper on their table. “I would understand if the Prince is otherwise engaged for the next week's time, though.” 

 

“Umm, thanks” Wille mumbled, looking sheepishly at Simon who just raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “I’ll make sure to hand them in once I get back to Hillerska.” 

 

Mr. Englund nodded and made a face Simon believed was supposed to portray a smile, but he wasn’t sure, before he turned around and excused the class. 

 

The two boys walked out of the classroom, hurrying towards the cafe to buy some coffees and snatch their favorite table before someone else got it. 

 

“Why does he have to be like that?” Wille mused with his coffee once they were seated at their table. 

 

“He really likes you,” Simon smiled at Wille, fully knowing Wille would hate him for saying that.

 

“He likes that I'm royal. He couldn’t care less about the actual me!” Wille said angrily. “Like, you have never been able to just decide yourself if you wanted to hand in some schoolwork or not whenever you go away.”

 

“I know,” Simon said, because what else could he do?

 

“But it’s so unfair,” Wille continued. 

 

“I know, Wille,” Simon sighed. “That’s what I have been trying to explain over the last 2 years. The teachers like you because you’re a prince. They do not like me because I’m not a prince. I only sleep with one…” 

 

“Omg, Simon. You can’t say stuff like that here!” Wille hushed him.

 

 “Why?” Simon asked teasingly. “It’s true, though. I have a very good memory, Wille. And let me tell you this – if the teachers were to know what we did together last night no one would doubt my ability to be your equal!” 

 

“What are you guys talking about?” Henry asked as he dropped down on the seat next to Simon, making Wille curse under his breath. 

 

“Nothing, just schoolwork and stuff,” Simon said, nonchalantly. Wille kept quiet, lips pressed firmly together. He was sitting very still on his chair. 

 

“So, I have this idea for a movie night this weekend,” Walter said once he joined their table too. “Wille, it’s a bummer, but you can’t come because you have to go be royal and shit, but the girls could tag along and we could go have a movie night like in the good old days?” 

 

Wille just nodded and didn't even reply to Walter. Simon looked at him. What was up with Wille? If he didn’t know any better he would think that…

 

“Yeah, I would really like to come,” Simon said, placing his hand on Wille’s thigh. “I have nothing better to do anyway.” 

 

“Sweet,” Walter said, looking at Henry. “Are you going to ask Stella and the girls, Henry?”

 

“Why do I have to be the one asking them?” Henry complained. 

 

“Well, you’re the one dating one of them!” Walter said deadpan. 

 

Simon moved his hand further up Wille’s thigh. He was pretty sure he knew what was wrong with his boyfriend. Last night was really fun after all. Really fun . Simon leaned into Wille so he could whisper in his ear.

 

“Do you have a boner right now?” He asked, making sure that Wille could feel his breath just behind his ear, which he knew was something that drove Wille mad. Wille nodded slightly, looking down at Simon’s hand on his thigh. 

 

“I’ll let you fuck me once we’re finished with study hall if you behave throughout the day,” Simon then continued to whisper, placing a soft kiss behind Wille’s ear. “Just get through the day and decide what you want to do later before you have to head back to Stockholm and stay with your mother for a week.” 

 

That made Wille snap out of his thoughts. He turned his head to look at Simon.

 

“Why would you say that?” Wille asked in a hushed voice. 

 

“Because we need to get to class in like, 5 minutes or so, Wille,” Simon said, placing a soft kiss on Wille’s lips. “You can’t have a boner walking to class, people would notice.” 

 

“Notice what?” Henry asked, standing up together with Walter. 

 

“Nothing,” Wille hurriedly said, closing his eyes for a moment before standing up himself. “Let’s get to class, shall we?” 

 

Much later, when they were done with the study hall, one could have seen two teenage boys stumble down the halls of Forest Ridge in a hurry to get behind closed doors. 

When Simon closed the door to Wille’s room and turned the lock so nobody would disturb them, he teasingly walked towards Wille who was standing in the middle of the room almost shaking with anticipation. If Simon were to guess, he would say that Wille had been on edge all day, lots of sexual anticipation trapped in his body. It was all showing now, the way Wille’s eyes glistened, the way his whole body was slightly shaking, the way his breath was slightly faster than normal. It all told Simon just how worked up Wille was by now.  With long, fast steps Wille walked towards Simon, who was still standing by the door, and grabbed him by his shirt and kissed him hard on the mouth. 

 

“Come here,” he growled, tugging a smiling Simon along with him towards the bed. When they were by the bed Wille gently pushed Simon down on it crawling on top of Simon himself.

 

“What do you want to do?” Simon asked, leaning up to kiss his boyfriend. It wasn’t a sweet and chaste kiss, it was rough and wet and really not that refined, but it got Simon’s point across. He wanted Wille right now as much as Wille wanted, no needed, Simon. 

 

“I want you to get out of these ridiculous clothes!” Wille huffed, pushing his hips down towards Simon’s making himself moan quite ungracefully. 

 

“So demanding,” Simon teased but got started undressing himself the best he could from underneath a frotting Wille. “A little help or something?” 

 

“Simon,” Wille said and dropped his head down to Simon’s shoulders, hips still rocking back and forth. 

 

Simon had successfully gotten his shirt off, but his pants were still firmly in place. He couldn’t reach them with Wille on top of him. 

 

“Shh, babe stop,” Simon said, trying to halt Wille’s frantic movements. “Just wait a second okay, let’s get out of our clothes first, love.”  

 

“Simon,” Wille only whimpered, but slowly stopped his movement, sitting back with his legs on both sides of Simon. He looked beautiful like this, already quite blissed out and absolutely horny. In a swift motion Wille pulled his sweater and polo off himself and threw them onto the floor before sliding down Simon’s leg to sit on one side of the bed, removing his pants and boxers as well. 

 

Remember the socks,” Simon said while he also started to get rid of the last of his garments. Wille looked at him puzzled.

 

“I don’t want to have sex with you if you’re wearing socks. It’s not a turn on!” Simon just said, sending Wille what he hoped was a final look. Wille just shrugged his shoulders and went on to remove his socks. 

 

Simon was taken by surprise when Wille suddenly was between his legs again, bending them and tilting his hips up so that he would have better access to Simon’s hole. 

 

“Wille,” Simon breathed out. It was his turn to wait in anticipation until suddenly a warm breath was felt near his hole just before featherlight kisses were placed there. Wille was careful with his movements, placing each kiss with the utmost precision as if Simon was the most delicate thing he could ever taste, ever kiss. It was bliss. Even though this didn’t happen that often, Simon loved the feeling of Wilhelm between his legs, kissing and licking him like it was the most wonderful thing in the world. 

 

It wasn’t long before the kisses were replaced with a careful tongue, teasingly sliding around Simon’s entrance before finally slipping its way into Simon. He couldn’t help it. As soon as he could feel the warm, wet tongue inside him he moved down towards it, snapping his eyes shut and reaching for Wille’s hair, arms, just something Wille. 

  

“Wille, please” he whined, not knowing what he was asking for but just knowing he needed something more. He could feel Wille smile between his legs while he kept fucking Simon with his tongue, loosening him up a bit before he slowly moved away from Simon.

 

“Just a moment,” Wille whispered, kissing Simon’s ankle and ohh, didn’t that feel nice. Who would have thought that getting your ankle kissed would feel arousing? 

 

Seconds later, Wille was back on top of Simon, covering all of Simon with his own body. It felt safe and secure. It felt like love.

 

They just stayed there, kissing each other, feeling each other's bodies pressed close together. It was blissful. 

 

Suddenly some of Wille’s body weight disappeared from Simon and Simon tilted his head up in confusion, looking for Wille. There was a click and a sound of something getting squeezed out of a bottle and Wille fully covering Simon’s body again, kissing him feverishly. 

 

“Just going to open you up a bit more, love,” Wille mumbled into their kiss, moving his one hand down between their bodies. Simon bent his knees to grant Wille better access and Wille moved a bit to the side so he could actually reach Simon’s waiting hole. 

 

It all went very slow, but was full of emotion and love. Simon would have never thought that Wille would have taken such time and care with him after the aroused state he had been in throughout the day. But afterwards when he asked Wille why he had chosen to not just throw himself at Simon and get off, Wille’s answer almost brought him to tears. 

 

“It’s because I love you, Simon,” Wille had started. “Being in love with you is like sinking into a warm, steamy bath at the end of the day and feeling all your worries wash away. It’s you helping me be brave enough to give all of my messy, complicated, and not instagram-perfect moments and traits to you, trusting that you accept them, me, as they are. It’s because loving you is giving me the strength to love myself and embrace myself. You deserve everything good in this world – not just a quick fuck.” The last part he had said with a smile before kissing Simon who had damp eyes and was at a loss for words. 

 

 

Thursday

Wille had been busy with a lot of obligations throughout the week leading up to the royal wedding. It was like the whole nation had gone mad and all anyone could talk about was Erik marrying his beautiful Tindra after so much hardship. It was like a fairytale. Except it wasn’t a fairytale for Wille. Simon had continuously throughout the week received texts from Wille where he complained about everything. Just everything – the tuxedo he would wear, the medals that he should wear too, how he didn’t care about going to the Royal Swedish ballet to watch some special performance put together just for Erik and Tindra, how he didn’t like the canapes, how he didn’t like to be photographed. He also complained about how he was forced to participate in the dinner that the government held to honor Erik and Tindra, although he had to admit that the food was pretty good at that dinner.

 

Simon was fed up with it all when they reached Thursday because Wille had started the day by texting Simon telling him how much he didn’t want to participate in the private dinner for all the royal families who had been invited. 

 

Simon

Wille, come on! You can’t possibly hate everyone at this dinner.

 

Wille

I’ve seen the seating arrangement. It sucks, Simon

 

Simon

Then just suck it up, Wille. You’re not a child anymore. Stop acting like one.

 

Wille

I know I’m not a child. If I were I wouldn’t have to participate in this hell 

 

Simon

Wille, just… I really can’t right now okay.

 

Wille

What? What have I said?

 

Simon

Nothing.

 

Wille

Come on, Simon. Don’t be like that. What’s the matter

 

Simon

You want to know what’s the matter? It’s you, Wille.

 

Wille

Simon? I don’t understand….

 

Simon

Wille, you have done nothing but complain this entire week! 

 

Wille

Sorry for sharing my feelings with my boyfriend!

 

Simon

It’s not that it’s just…. Have you ever considered how Erik and Tindra are feeling this week? Can’t you just be happy for them?

 

Wille

I am happy for them!

 

Simon

Then show it! You look like you’re ready to kill someone at all your appearances. And all I hear about is how awful everything is.

 

Wille

Don’t reprimand me about how I should act. My mother already does that!

 

Simon

And how about you ask how I am? You haven’t even asked that.

 

Wille

Fine! How are you Simon?

 

Simon

Are you serious Wille! I can’t right now.

 

Wille

Simon, don’t run away from our fight! That’s not a way to solve problems. 

 

Simon

I’m not running away, Wille. I have class!

 

Wille

Well it would suit you to run away and hide every time things get rough!

 

Simon

WTF! How dare you! And what about yourself! 

 

Wille

I thought you had class

 

Simon

You are just so full of yourself right now! It was YOU who ran away for an entire summer! 

 

Wille

I didn’t run away, mister “I lock myself in my room!”

 

Simon

You wouldn’t even argue against your mother, Wille. I knew nothing. I could only be worried and sad and miserable! 

 

Wille

Well, then you know how I’m feeling now. 

 

Wille

Simon? Simon don’t run away when I’m texting you 

 

Wille

Damn it, Simon. Mr. Englund will not care if you say it’s me you’re texting. 

 

Wille

Simon! 

 

Wille

Simon please answer me… Are we good? 



Simon looked at his phone even though he knew he shouldn’t. Mr. Englund would not hesitate to confiscate it if he noticed Simon was using it in class. He had to distance himself from Wille’s negativity or else he would say or text something he would regret – even more than what he already had. Therefore he tried the best he could to concentrate on his lessons. 

 

When he got home that day he started to prepare all the clothes he needed to pack for his weekend in Stockholm. 

 

He and Sara would leave Hillerska at noon the next day, which was Friday, so that they could be in Stockholm in time to get ready for the private dinner they were invited to. August would meet them at their hotel and room with Sara while Simon had gotten his own room. Linda would babysit Sophia for the weekend. Even though Sara had been busy with being a mom and keeping up with school, she had managed to actually get her driver's license before giving birth so Linda had graciously lent them her car so Sara could drive them to Stockholm. It made everything so much easier with everything they needed to pack to bring with them. They needed formal attire for Friday evening, formal gala attire for Saturday, semi-formal attire for Sunday brunch, and then some normal clothes for afterwards. Not to mention the jackets and coats they would need to bring as well. Having a royal wedding during December in Sweden was really not the brightest idea if you asked Simon. It had been snowing for the last week or so and everything was cold, wet, and covered in heavy snow. 

 

SimonErikssonOfficial Make sure to listen to my new single that will drop tomorrow. I’ve made it specially for my good friend His Royal Highness Crown Prince Erik who will finally get to wed the beautiful Tindra this Saturday!

HRHErik It’s an honor to know you and to get to call you my friend! I’m so glad that you’ll be able to participate at the wedding as my guest!

SimonsBea OMG! Does this mean Simon is attending the actual wedding!? 

PinkyBlond Once more Simon is being taken advantage of by the royal family. They should be ashamed!

SimonsBea @PinkyBlond you should find somewhere else to take your hateful comments! 

PinkyBlond @SimonsBea You are clearly fooled by the lies about Simon being happy and content! IT’S FAKE NEWS 

ThatWOne I can’t wait to hear it<3 I’m sure it will be just as wonderful as all your other songs! 

Friday

Simon had found out that Sara was a very aggressive driver on this particular trip, but he didn’t dare to comment on anything as long as she was behind the wheel. She made a sharp turn and drove down into the parking basement that was situated underneath the hotel. Simon hurried to get out of the car and grab his suitcases before they found the lift and went to the lobby. Simon had seen August waiting for them in front of the hotel when they passed by before parking. August now came walking towards them with quick steps. 

 

“Sara, hey!” he greeted her with a kiss. Simon would never get used to seeing August kissing his sister. “Simon,” August gave Simon a nod which he returned before walking towards the check-in area, but he stopped when he, from the corner of his eye, saw a familiar blond, tall frame. Wille was there. Why? They hadn't talked about him meeting Simon at  the hotel. They actually hadn’t talked since Thursday, so now Wille was walking towards Simon with careful steps. 

 

“Simon,” Wille said, clearly unsure of where they stood. 

 

“Wille?” Simon said in return, not knowing why the prince was here. Didn’t he have stuff to do? 

 

“I umm, I’ve already checked you in,” Wille said before turning his attention towards Sara. “Hey, Sara. August got your key.” He looked back at Simon. Simon looked at him waiting for Wille to say more. 

 

“I got our, I mean your key,” Wille said, looking down at the floor. “I thought that we might need to talk and stuff before tonight and tomorrow and like….” 

 

He trailed off, waiting for Simon to react. And who was Simon kidding? He couldn’t or wouldn’t stay mad at Wille for a long period of time, so he just took his hand and laced their fingers together. 

 

“Come on, Wille. We can talk once we’re in our room,” Simon said, giving a small smile to Wille. “You know the room number, so you lead the way.” 

 

Their room wasn’t as lavish and grand as the one they had stayed in almost two years ago when Wille had taken them on a spa retreat, but it was still very nice. All the guests who weren't royals and came from out-of-town stayed at Elite Hotel Stockholm Plaza. It was fine. Simon didn’t think he would have much time left to actually be in the hotel room anyway. There was a bed, a desk with a chair, and then the bathroom. It was everything Simon would need. 

 

After Wille had closed the door securely behind them he immediately found Simon’s eyes, locking them with his. 

 

“How are you?” Wille asked, sounding small. 

 

“Come here,” Simon sighed and held his arms out towards Wille, encouraging him to come closer and hug Simon. Wille did. He melted into Simon’s embrace and presence. 

 

“I missed you,” Wille said, still holding Simon closely. 

 

“I missed you too, Wille.” Simon replied. “Come on. Let’s lie down on the bed for a while.”  

 

Simon guided them towards the bed where they both crawled into it, hiding themselves under the covers. It was only their heads that peeped out. Wille took both of Simon’s hands in his and brought their joined hand up to his mouth to place a soft kiss on them. 

 

“I’m sorry, Simon,” Wille started. “I’m sorry for always being so self-centered and caught up in my own misery that I forget about you and others.”

 

“You don’t forget about other people, Wille. Sometimes you just get yourself worked up so much that what you do and say is irrational,” Simon tried to explain to Wille. 

 

“Well, that’s not much better, is it?” Wille mumbled, breaking their eye contact. 

 

“I don’t know. But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too” Simon replied.

 

“For what?” Wille asked, puzzled. 

 

“For not validating how you were feeling, for snapping at you the way I did,” Simon said, with a short pause. “For not answering you. That was not okay, and I know I would have given you shit for it if you had done that to me.” 

 

“You would have been so mad,” Wille giggled, chewing lightly on his lips. 

 

“So, are we okay? Are we good?” Simon asked carefully, eyeing Wille’s reaction. 

 

Wille moved towards Simon placing a small kiss on his lips. 

 

“We’re okay,” he then said so lovingly, that Simon fell in love with Wille all over again. 

 

“What are you going to wear tonight?” Wille then asked, changing the subject. 

 

“I decided on that black set, you know. The one you liked too,” Simon answered and got up from the bed to sort out his clothes. It wasn’t good for them to be bunched up in a suitcase. 

Wille laughed from the bed. 

 

“What?” Simon asked, looking confused at Wille. 

 

“Who would have thought that you would ever quickly unpack your suitcase in a hotel room,” Wille laughed.

 

“Well, I have nice stuff now,” Simon blushed. “I need to take better care of everything.” 

 



Prince Wilhelm shocks the nation at  Crown Prince Erik’s party

Last night the young and very talked about Prince Wilhelm showed up to a private dinner party held by Crown Prince Erik and his future Wife Tindra with none other than Simon Eriksson. The young prince has been linked with the pop-sensation multiple times over the last two years, but this is the first time they are actually showing up together at a royal event. 

The monarchy is known for keeping their cards close to the vest when it comes to who they’re dating, but after a photo that was shared of the, at that time, 16-year old prince kissing Simon in the park near Drottningholm Slott, the prince felt the need to address the public attention they were receiving. 

 

Since then it has been speculated whether they have stayed together or broken up, but Simon recently revealed in an interview that they in fact have never been broken up since they started dating 2 years ago. Still it is very controversial to arrive together at a royal event, but it can maybe be explained by the event not being an official event, but rather a private gathering of the future newlywed’s friends and families.

 

The same day as the private dinner party Simon released a song dedicated to His Royal Highness Crown Prince Erik and his beautiful bride-to-be Tindra.  

 

Now, all that's left to do is wait to see if there are more royal wedding bells ringing in the near future. 

 

The dinner Friday evening had gone by without big surprises or unexpected events. Simon and Wille had been a tiny bit nervous about arriving together. After all, it was not normal for a royal to show up together with his or her significant other before they were actually engaged. But they had decided that it would be okay since this was a private affair; this was for friends and family only. 

 

The other guests had looked curiously when Wille had shown up together with Simon in the hotel lobby waiting for the bus that would come and pick up all the guests. The Queen hadn’t been too excited about this decision, but she couldn’t say much about it. It was a private event, as Wille reminded her.

 

When Wille had walked off of the bus together with Simon the photographers had gone mad. Cameras were flashing all over, making Simon’s eyes hurt just a bit. He couldn’t really see who he was looking at when he posed in front of them together with Wille, he only hoped some of the photos would look somewhat decent. 

 

People at the dinner were nice enough, or at least they knew enough not to be too impolite towards Simon and Wille. After all, Wille was Erik’s brother and a prince. They chatted with some of Erik’s friends from university that Wille was somewhat familiar with or else just kept to themselves. August was doing the opposite. He was parading Sara around all over the room, showing her off. Simon had to admit that Sara looked beautiful in her dark lavender dress. And she looked happy too, like this was something she had always wanted and somehow it was. She had always been very vocal about how much she hated being from a working class family and would love to leave that behind her and rise in class. It looked like her wish had been granted now. 

 

Unfortunately, Wille wasn’t able to leave the dinner with Simon. He had multiple engagements the next day before the ceremony in the church. He was Erik’s best man after all, and even though Erik and Tindra were very sure of each other, Erik seemed to be nervous after all. It was something that could only be expected with the amount of attention that was on the young, soon-to-be-married couple.

 

Simon couldn’t sleep. Even though the bed had been shared with Wille the first night, it now felt wrong to be in such a big bed all by himself. Thoughts were running through his head about marriage, apartments, concerts, mothers-in-laws and his future with Wille. Multiple scenarios played on repeat in his head that portrayed different ways their lives could turn out. Some were good, some were not, but they all had some things in common. Him and Wille would stay together, but they wouldn’t be married. He just couldn’t see himself as a guy who did that. It was just not him. Sara had been the one growing up that dreamt about a big fancy wedding and everything fairytale-related. Simon hadn’t. Simon just wanted a long-lasting love with a trusted partner. Ever since he was old enough to understand, the institution of marriage just didn’t fit him. But would that mean that Wille would always have to keep his distance from Simon whenever there was an official engagement he needed to attend? That they couldn’t attend anything together as a couple? If so, would Simon be okay with that? 

 

He tossed and turned for what felt like hours, thoughts haunting his mind of decisions that were way in the future for him, but at this point it all still seemed too important for his brain to let it go. It was way past midnight when Simon finally fell into a restless sleep dreaming about wedding cakes with crowns, ball gowns, and an insufferable mother-in-law. 

Saturday 

 

Simon pondered how long he had to make polite small talk with the person sitting next to him in the church and whether it was acceptable for him to find his phone and text Wille, or really anyone, who wasn’t the person next to him. He should consider himself lucky. He was situated right next to the aisle so he only had one person next to him instead of two people. Unfortunately, there was still quite some time before the ceremony would start since he had been one of the first guests to arrive at the church. After all the friends of the happy couple had arrived, the politicians and diplomats would arrive, and then the final guests to arrive would be those among every royal family from Europe. They would make their entrance before Erik and Wille would take their places at the front of the church. Then the Queen and the Prince Consort would enter the church before Tindra’s father walked her down the aisle. It felt a bit fake and procedural instead of loving, but everybody in Sweden was gushing over how much of a fairytale wedding this was. To make everything seem more perfect and beautiful, the prettiest snow had fallen that night, covering Stockholm in powdery snow. On the downside, the church was kind of chilly even though it had all the people gathered in it, with all the candle lights and the heaters on as well. 

 

Simon

I’m so bored, guys. 

 

Ayub

Simon, are you sure you're allowed to text right now?

 

Rosh

Yeah, Simme. Would the Queen have your head for this? 

 

Simon

As much as she doesn’t like me I actually think she would get in trouble if she beheaded me. 

 

Rosh

Well that’s always something. Then you wouldn’t have died for nothing.

 

Ayub

True, die and become a saint like that French chick on the horse. 

 

Rosh 

Which French chick?

 

Ayub

You know, the one from the movies

 

Rosh

Ladybug?

 

Ayub

NO! She’s just kind of badass, that old French one… Simon! Help me out.

 

Simon

Are we talking about Joan of Arc?

 

Ayub

YES! That’s the one.

 

Simon

I’m pretty sure she got burned in a fire, not beheaded.

 

Rosh

I’ll google it. Give me a sec…

 

Rosh 

Yeah, she was burned - poor woman.

 

Ayub 

Well, that sucks 

 

Simon

Speaking of stuff that sucks. I’m in a church with hundreds of people I don’t know. I can’t even see Sara and August. 

 

Ayub

I thought you would stick to them

 

Simon

We have assigned seats in the church too…

 

Rosh

Damn, who are you sitting with?

 

Simon

Someone who knows Tindra from her time at Hillerska. 

 

Ayub

Then talk about that!

 

Simon

We already did and now she’s talking with somebody else and I’m pretending that this convo is in fact work-related.

 

Rosh 

Smooth Simon….

 

Ayub

Let’s make it work-related then! When are you going to take us to Stockholm?

 

Rosh

Yeah, like. You must know some pretty nice places by now that we know nothing about. 

 

Simon

Ohh, umm. I don’t really know. We’ll definitely have to do that at one point!

 

Ayub

Yeah!

 

Simon

Ohh, shit, the politicians arrive now. Can’t be long before Wille is here too!

 

Rosh

You are so whipped, Simon! How can you be like that after all this time with him?

 

Simon

It’s Wille….

 

Ayub

Got no words, bro….

 

Simon

Hey, can I ask you something?

 

Rosh

Always!

 

Simon

Isn’t it weird to think that Tindra becomes a Swedish princess and Countess of Västergötland just because she married the man she loves? 

 

Ayub

I don’t know. That’s how things are. Why? Do you want to become a princess? 

 

Rosh

Isn’t it enough for you to be a successful singer? You need to be a princess too?

 

Simon

Shut up, guys… It’s just. Is it necessary to give “outsiders” titles?

 

Rosh

It’s how it’s always been Simon. You also change your last name when you marry someone.

 

Ayub

Or most people do anyway. 

 

Simon

Yeah, yeah… Shit. All the royal houses are starting to appear. I better put my phone away so it won't get confiscated or something stupid like that. 

 

SimonErikssonOfficial Congrats to the happy couple! I’m so honored to be a part of this day<3 

 

FeliceE Beautiful!

+328 more comments

 

The reception after the ceremony wasn’t anything Simon didn’t expect and Wille had told him. It was only made bearable because Simon and Wille were allowed to sit together at one of the big round tables. It wasn’t at the main table where the happy couple was sitting together with their parents and the head of state, but they were very close to that table. On one side Simon had his gorgeous boyfriend who wore a pristine tuxedo decorated with medals and honors Simon didn’t even know about to begin with. On his other side was the Crown Princess of Belgium, which Simon had to admit looked very pretty too. On top of that, she was polite and down-to-earth. She was the same age as them and was easy to talk to. The 6 other chairs at their table were occupied by members from their parliament but also one of the princes of Denmark, the spare, Simon took notice. He was late in his twenties but also pleasant to converse with and he made sure to engage the whole table in light conversation throughout their meal. 

 

When it was announced that it was time for Wille to give his speech for the bride and groom, Simon sent an encouraging smile to him. He believed it was best not to actually touch Wille in any way when there were cameras directed on them and also the fact that there were over 1000 pairs of eyes looking at him. 

 

“Dear Erik and dearest Tindra,” Wille started, taking a deep breath and then continued. “We are gathered here today to honor something so truly magical, so truly unique and wonderful, that it simply had to be celebrated. Saying 'I do' at your wedding is like clicking the 'I accept' box any time a new piece of software on your computer or phone asks you to read its terms and conditions: You do it despite having no idea what will come next, except, you kind of know what will come next with this family. But let me tell you this, especially to you Tindra. You’ve now got yourself a husband that loves jokes nobody else understands, he loves embarrassing his family by telling stories nobody wants to remember, he is just absolutely crazy about cars. Maybe a bit too crazy about cars. But all of this you know, because the two of you have shared your thoughts, feelings, and love for each other ever since you went to school together back at Hillerska. I’m not going to speak about how grand and eternal love is, because love needs work and dedication. The two of you already know that all too well. I will instead give you some advice: never laugh at your spouse’s choices. Remember: they also chose you! We are all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into a mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love. That’s what happened to the two of you, and that brings me so much joy to know and to witness - even though I’m just the annoying little brother. Now, let’s raise our glasses to the happy couple. I actually like both of you—do you have any idea how rare that is?”

 

Wille reached for his glass of wine, eyeing Simon quickly before gathering himself and doing a toast for the couple. Simon stood up, together with the rest of the guests, held his glass towards Erik and Tindra and smiled at them. They looked so happy. 

 

“It was beautiful, Wille” Simon whispered when they sat down again. Wille just smiled at Simon, blushing slightly. 

 

ThatWOne Today we celebrate love <3

 

SimonEriksson <3<3<3<3

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The part after the dinner was much more down Simon’s alley. People were relaxing, having fun, and just generally having a good time. The older attendants had left around midnight leaving the younger guests behind for them to party some more. 

It wasn’t long after the Queen had left the ballroom that Wille was pressed close to Simon, swaying from side-to-side. 

 

“What are you doing, Wille?” Simon laughed at his boyfriend. 

 

“Mmm, dancing,” Wille slurred. He had clearly had a bit too much wine, but Simon would let him have this. After all, it wasn't everyday that your brother got married. And it wasn’t Wille’s fault that Simon had a strange relationship to alcohol. 

 

“You should drink some water,” Simon tried to reason with Wille.

 

“Don’t want to,” Wille said, placing his hands on Simon’s hips and moving towards him.

 

“Wille, there are people watching,” Simon said, trying to move away from Wille. Just a bit.

 

Wille looked at Simon like he was stupid.

 

“I’m aware, Simon,” he just said, moving in for a kiss. “But I want to kiss my boyfriend at my brother's wedding. That’s not a crime!” 

 

And no it wasn’t but it still felt like a collective gasp went through the dancefloor once Wille’s lips touched Simon’s. He knew that it was probably just in his head that this was happening, but after years of fighting for being able to show their affection towards each other publicly this felt like a finale. Like this was how they were manifesting that they were in fact together for good no matter the rumors surrounding them.

 

“I love you, Simon,” Wille whispered into Simon’s ear when he pulled away from their kiss.

 

“I love you too, Wille,” Simon smiled back before placing his head on Wille's shoulder. Soon they found themselves swaying softly from side-to-side, not following the upbeat music that was blasting through the speakers. 

 

Saturday 

 

“Ohhh, my head!” Wille whined from underneath the duvet.

 

“I told you to drink some water last night, love,” Simon just smiled affectionately before getting out of the bed. Today was a pretty big day for the two of them.

 

“I ordered breakfast for 9.30, it should be here in 10 minutes or so,” Simon yelled from the bathroom where he had gone to relieve himself. 

 

“Do I have to get up?” Wille continued to whine from the bed. 

 

“I would really appreciate that,” Simon said, flushing the toilet before moving along to wash his hands, face, and brush his teeth. He would shower later.

 

While brushing his teeth Wille came stumbling inside the bathroom, going towards the toilet. 

 

“You look like someone who had fun last night,” Simon teased him after spitting out the toothpaste. 

 

“Shut up, Simon,” Wille growled from the toilet. 

 

There was a knock on the door announcing that breakfast was ready. Simon hurriedly put on some sweats and a t-shirt and went out to open the door while Wille got ready in the bathroom. Mornings like these had become somewhat normal to them throughout the summer when Wille had decided that he wouldn’t be able to live together with his mother any longer. After all, the Eriksson household only had one bathroom no matter how many people moved into the house. 

 

After they had eaten and had some coffee and water, they ventured out into the city. Simon was actually used to taking the public transportation, so he was in charge of them catching the right train and changing to the next one and soon they found themselves standing in front of a tall, red, brick building.There was a man in a suit in front of the door who walked towards Simon as soon as he was in sight. 

 

“Simon?” the man asked, stretching his hand forwards to greet Simon.

 

“Yeah, that’s me.” Simon took the man’s hand. “Hello, I’m here for the apartment.” 

 

“Of course," the man said, smiling. “I’m Thomas and I’m the landlord here. If you would just follow then I can show you around.” Thomas started walking towards the building signaling for Simon and Wille to tag along. 

 

The apartment was on the 3rd floor, giving them some privacy from people walking on the street. Simon liked it. It was light and spacious, and he could actually picture himself living in this apartment together with Wille, cooking late-night dinners in the small kitchen and having their friends over. He could see it all.

 

“What do you think?” he excitedly asked Wille. 

 

“The office is a bit small, and so is the kitchen but other than that it’s nice,” Wille commented.

 

“Ohh, come on, Wille,” Simon said in return. “Just because you grew up in a literal palace doesn’t mean you can’t get used to small rooms. And it’s not you who’s going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.” 

 

At the mention of a palace the landlord's head snapped up from his phone so he could take a better look at the two young men standing in front of him. 

 

“I’m terribly sorry,” he then muttered. “I wasn’t aware of that...”

 

“No need to apologize,” Wille smiled, walking towards Simon, curling his arms around the shorter boy. “I would much rather nobody knew that we’ve been here.” 

 

“Yes, yes… Sure. My mouth is sealed!” the landlord said, signaling that he was closing a zipper over his mouth. “I’ll just give the two of you some privacy.” Then he walked out into the main hallway and left the two young men inside the apartment so they could have a look on their own.

 

“I really like it, Wille,” Simon said after they had walked around and had a second look at all the rooms. “I know it’s not much, but we wouldn’t need more. Like, we would just be the two of us together here.” 

 

Simon wrapped his arms around Wille holding him in a tight embrace. He gazed up at Wille, catching his eyes. 

 

“This is all we need, the two of us. It’s close to the studio, the balcony is private facing away from the street. I know that you wouldn’t be able to have your name on the front door and all that, but like… this could be ours!”

 

Simon leaned up to kiss Wille gently on his lips. He really could imagine them living here, creating a life for themselves. 

 

“Mmm, I would really like a small pot with tomato plants on the balcony or something like that," Wille said, smiling down at Simon. And I would suggest making the smaller room the bedroom since we both wouldn’t need a work area or desk in the office.”

 

“Yeah, that’s okay with me. So…” Simon suddenly felt shy holding Wille while still filled with love and happiness. “Are we doing this? Is this our new place?” 

 

Wille nodded frantically before kissing Simon passionately. 

 

“This is going to be our home!” Wille beamed at Simon.

Notes:

Don’t you just love a good old wedding? I do! Clearly the photos used for the wedding is from the actual wedding between crown princess Victoria and Daniel – so beautiful!
You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 34: Chapter 34

Summary:

Simon
Need you Wille. Not sure I can do this.

The reply came immediately.

Wille
You can do it Simon. Just get through it and meet me back in my room. I’ll let Jan-Olof know that you’ll be there today too.

Simon
I just feel so broken, Wille

Wille
I know, love. Just a couple of hours and I’ll be home too.
Push through it <3

Notes:

– Please take note of the updated tags. If it’s something that upsets you, you can stop reading from the moment Wille wakes up Simon in Wille’s room in the bottom 3rd of the story.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

They arrived back at Hillerska together after their weekend in Stockholm. Simon had ended up spending the night in Wille’s room at Drottningholm. After they had signed, or just Simon signed, the lease for the apartment they had gone to a little establishment nearby to have a late lunch before heading back to Simon’s hotel so he could check out. But as they stood in the parking area getting ready to say goodbye it just felt wrong. After all, they had just signed a lease for a shared apartment. This was a beginning for the next step in their life together. Living together was a big thing, but Simon looked forward to it with love and excitement streaming through his entire being. It actually seemed like they would make it together. 

 

Some people were looking at them when they stepped out of the car with the official plates together. Not only because they were together but more so because the driver actually carried not only Wille’s bags but also Simon's bags to Wille’s room in Forest Ridge.  It wasn’t something that they had asked for but just something that had happened. The driver probably assumed that Simon stayed with Wille here as well. He hadn’t been briefed that Simon would be with Wille that Monday morning, mostly because nobody had known Simon would stay at Drottningholm, so why would he know where Simon lived?

 

Wille only had a week left at Hillerska before he had to head back to Stockholm. He needed to participate in some royal engagements like always. Normally he complained about this, but it was almost as if he had an unspoken agreement with his mother now. He would do what the job as a Swedish prince entailed and she would let him be. It was not ideal for Wille, Simon knew that, but it was better than fighting tooth and nail to prove their commitment to each other for her. 

 

Simon knew Wille craved a good and healthy relationship with his parents, but right now it wasn’t possible. Their interests were simply too far from each other but maybe they could have a relationship sometime in the future. Simon hoped for that–for his boyfriend's sake. He didn’t care much about the Queen or Ludvig, but he cared about his beautiful Wille and it took its toll on him that their relationship was that broken at this time. 

 

Simon would miss Wille during their time apart until Christmas, but he knew he would be able to see him before New Year’s Eve. Simon had to go to Stockholm between Christmas and New Years to put the final touches on his brand new single that would be released January the 1st at 12 am. It would be an amazing new song that showcased a whole other side of Simon–a side that he was ready to be seen.  

 

Something he wasn’t ready for was spending Christmas on his own. Sara was going to spend it on August’s estate in northern Sweden and his mama had to work this year, so he would basically be all alone on Christmas eve. He knew that he could always ask Ayub and Rosh to hang with him, but this year it felt like an intrusion into their private lives. Ayub had his girlfriend that he would probably be with, and Rosh was just so intense all the time. Simon didn’t need someone intense right now, he needed calm. He was happy and snappy remarks from Rosh wasn’t something he could handle right now. 

 

So he’d be alone on Christmas Eve and he was mostly fine with that. That was at least what he told everybody when they asked him about it. It was also what he pretended when eating lunch in Forest Ridge the last Friday Wille would be at the school before he was gone for Christmas. 

 

“So, are you telling us,” Henry said between bites, “that you feel perfectly fine being alone on fucking Christmas Eve? I don't buy that.”

 

“Well it is fine,” Simon snarled back to Henry, feeling Wille’s deep eyes on him. “I have to work anyway, so it’s okay that I’ll be alone. It helps me concentrate.”

 

“Are you going to work on Christmas Eve?” Walter asked in disbelief. “Doesn’t the record label stay closed during the holidays?” 

 

“There is a lot to do before going to the actual studio, Walter,” Simon snapped back. “I’ll be at Musikhjälpen this weekend, so my time will be spent in Stockholm and then there is the last week of school. Mama, Sara, Sophia, and I will have our own little Christmas thing next Friday before Sara and Sophia go to August’s place and Mama has to work throughout the weekend. It’s fine.” 

 

“Simon,” Wille started but was stopped by a stern look from Simon. Now was not the time to be sentimental. 

 

“Well, we’re going to Switzerland just after Christmas for some skiing. Normally we’d be going to France, but Dad has some meetings in Switzerland so we’re all going with him,” Henry explained, trying the best he could to brighten the mood. “So you’re not the only one working, Simon.” 

 

“I know, Henry. My Mama is working throughout the Christmas holiday this year. I’ll be in Stockholm between Christmas and New Years to record. The world doesn’t just shut down because it’s Christmas.”

 

“Wow, relax!” Walter said to Simon. “Don’t talk like that to Henry just because you’re in a mood today!” 

 

“Since when have you gotten all protective of Henry?” Wille asked.

 

“Mind your own business, Wille!” Henry said back.

 

“Henry, I can speak for myself. Thank you very much!” Walter interrupted. “Wille, Simon, stay out of this.”  

  

“I wasn’t a part of it!” Simon exclaimed, looking offended. “Come on, Wille. Let’s go and leave these two knuckleheads to figure their shit out.”

 

Simon stood up and started to leave the room only to turn around and look at Wille when he didn’t immediately follow Simon. They shared a brief moment of eye contact before Wille stood up and followed Simon. 

 

They walked in silence both knowing where they were going. Wille’s room had been their refuge the first year at Hillerska when Simon had transferred schools in the middle of a school year because he couldn’t stand to stay at his old school where his fellow students made jokes about him, talked about him behind his back and what not. They hadn't used Wille’s room like this in a long time, but now they needed privacy. Something was off with Simon. It was clear to everybody, even Simon himself, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He just knew that he felt miserable all of a sudden. 

 

“What is it Simon?” Wille asked once they were inside his room, the door securely shut and locked behind them. Simon only shrugged his shoulders not knowing what to say. Wille walked towards him, reaching his arms towards Simon to offer him a hug, but Simon didn’t react in the slightest. Tentatively Wille placed his hands on Simon’s arms. 

 

“Simon…” he then said without saying anything further. 

 

Simon could feel how his breathing was shaky, how he fought his whole body not to collapse and break down. He didn’t know why he all of a sudden felt like this. Like he was a 16-year-old boy experiencing the enormous pressure of being in love with a prince. Of having his whole life looked at through a magnifying glass by everyone–judged by everyone. It was silly, to say the least, and Simon felt disgusted at himself that he could let himself feel like this again. It didn’t matter that he was famous, had the best boyfriend, and a loving family. He would still be all alone this Christmas, working so he could be even more famous and for what? What was the point in making music, working like this if everyone he loved had more important things to do or other places to be than where he was. 

 

He was a nobody that only pretended to be professional and collected. He knew nothing about being an adult or the music industry or being a good boyfriend for Wille or a son that his mother didn’t need to worry herself about. 

 

A single tear slipped down Simon’s cheek and he furiously vibed it away, not looking at Wille. He wouldn’t show him how messed up he was–how messed up he still was. 

 

The room felt dark. It was like the walls were closing in on him. His cheeks were moist from tears and his entire being was in tumult. He couldn’t do this. He faked it all and someday - any day - everybody would find out. Wille would find out that they couldn’t be together because Simon wouldn’t get married and he didn’t really support the monarchy at all and people believed he was a good singer, but they didn’t know how many takes it actually took for him to nail each line in every song and he just couldn’t pretend that he was okay with everything any longer and…

 

“Simon, Simon,” a soft voice said from somewhere. “Come back to me, Simon. Hey, I’m right here Simon.” It wasn’t from somewhere. The voice was coming from this room. Simon looked around, eyes filled with tears, and finally they landed on Wille. Wille who was still standing in front of him, his hands resting on Simon’s arms. He hadn’t noticed they were resting on him. How long had they been standing like this?

 

“Simon? Are you back with me?” Wille asked carefully. 

 

Simon nodded and a whimper escaped his mouth as he did so. 

 

“Oh, Simon.” Wille pulled him into a tight hug and Simon finally let himself soak up the comfort that Wille was to him. “I’m right here, love. I got you.” 

 

Simon felt the tears streaming down his face once more. God, he was pathetic standing like that crying his eyes out when he had achieved everything he had ever dreamed of. He was an ungrateful hypocrite that didn’t deserve what he had.

 

“I… I don’t, Wille,” Simon slumped into Wille’s tight embrace. “I don’t deserve anything!” 

 

“Simon, no. What are you even talking about?” Wille said in a surprised voice. “Where is this coming from?” 

 

“I…I can’t” Simon just cried. He would probably ruin Wille’s expensive sweater and get in trouble with the stupid royal court for doing so. “They will hate me for this.”

 

“What are you even talking about, Simon?” Wille sounded worried. “Come on. Let’s sit.” 

 

He moved Simon toward his bed, sitting both of them on it. He leaned himself back against the wall, letting his legs dangle over the side of the bed, then he very carefully manhandled Simon so the curly-haired boy was resting his head in Wille’s lap, their fingers laced together on top of Simon’s chest. They didn’t say anything for some time. It was like Wille was waiting for Simon to be ready to say something–anything. 

 

“The Royal Court will hate me for ruining your sweater,” was what Simon finally decided to say once his tears had dried up.  

 

“I highly doubt that, Simon,” Wille said, lacing his free hand into Simon’s curls. “In fact, I will promise you that I will not tell them anything about my sweater.” 

 

Simon couldn’t help but smile a small, sad smile. 

 

“I don’t deserve you, Wille,” Simon continued on to say. 

 

“What are you even talking about, love? Where is all of this coming from?” Wille asked lovingly. There was nothing but love in his voice and that pained Simon. 

 

“It just hurts so bad and I don’t know why, Wille,” Simon whispered as a reply. 

 

“Oh, Simon,” Wille only said, thinking for some time. “Do you still see Boris?” 

 

Simon shook his head. He had stopped seeing Boris over the summer since he was feeling confident in himself and where he was. Maybe that had been a mistake too. Maybe he didn’t even know himself.

 

“Maybe you should set up an appointment with him? I could help you if it’s too much for you right now?” Wille suggested. 

 

“Yeah, maybe I should,” Simon agreed. “Thanks, Wille.” 

 

Wille squeezed his hand. 

 

“I’m here for you, Simon. No matter what you’re going through, please don’t do it alone. Let me help you, let me in,” Wille said, sounding kind of broken. “I just want to help you and see you happy, but I don’t understand what’s happening right now and that scares me a bit, Simon.” 

 

“Oh,” Simon said. He hadn’t thought of that. “It’s just…” He didn’t know if he could say it. If this was something he could share with Wille. But then again, it was his Wille. His beautiful boyfriend who had spent the last two years defending him, protecting him, fighting for them. The guy who wanted a plant wall in their bathroom and a display case to put his limited edition Harry Potter wands. This was his Wille.  

 

“It just feels like I don’t deserve anything. And like, I’m all alone for Christmas. I’ve had all this success the last year and still I’m all alone on a day where no one is supposed to be alone, but I am and…” Simon took a breath before continuing, “Maybe I just don’t deserve any of this. It’s not like I’m going to change or give up some of my beliefs to be with you, my career is only doing this well because of the people behind the curtains doing all the work. I somehow feel like an imposter, Wille.”

 

Wille was silent for a while before he spoke up. 

 

“Let’s just get one thing straight here,” Wille turned Simon around so he could lock their eyes. “You’re not going to change a single thing about who you are and what you believe in just because of me and the family I come from.” 

 

“But…” Simon started but was hushed by Wille’s finger on his lips. 

 

“You are the most hard-working man I’ve ever known. You handle school, a career, and dating a fucking prince all while having a social life. I’m in awe of how you’re handling it all! You, Simon, you are amazing, and unique, and just… The best person I know!” 

 

“But, Wille. It’s all too much right now. It all feels like it’s not happening to me,” Simon protested. 

 

“But it is, Simon. Because you are so talented. You're not just able to sing, but the way you write your lyrics and work with them is mind-blowing. It’s so honest and raw. Every day you make me fall in love with you all over again just by being you,” Wille said, praising Simon.

 

“Wille…” Simon was on the verge of tears again. 

 

Wille moved around so they were now both lying on the bed, looking at each other.

 

“You are so beautiful, inside and out, and everytime I look at you, you take my breath away, Simon,” Wille whispered, looking Simon directly in his eyes. “The way you carry yourself, both when you are performing and when you’re in private, it’s amazing to witness. You become this whole other person once you’re on stage. It’s so hot to see and still when it’s just the two of us together you are the most beautiful. Just like now, when you are vulnerable, and honest, and trusting. I-” Wille kissed Simon, “Love-” another kiss, “YOU!” A soft passionate kiss was placed on Simon’s lips making Simon melt just a tiny bit. 

 

“I love you, Simon. No matter what. We are going to have life together after Hilelrska and it’s going to be amazing.” 

 

Simon nodded, smiling a small smile. 

 

“Do you want me to drive with you to Musikhjälpen tomorrow? I think I can wiggle around the schedule and at least drive with you.” 

 

Simon nodded, “That would be really nice, Wille.” 

 

“Okay, I’ll just call Fatima and let her know about the change in plan. I love you, Simon,” Wille said before wiggling out of bed to make the call. 

 

They were looked at when they arrived together at Musikhjälpen the next day. It hadn’t been announced that Wille would be there, so Simon hurriedly explained to the producers that Wille wouldn’t be staying long. Wille was only his ride to the place, so to speak.  

 

They had arrived with plenty of time to spare, so Simon made sure to do a lot of stuff for Musikhjälpen’s socials. Wille stayed out of those things, but he was filmed together with Simon when they stepped out of the black car that had driven them through Stockholm, and he was filmed during a few of the events Simon participated in. They looked a bit silly standing next to each other, Wille in his dark coat with a nice classic suit underneath. Simon, on the other hand, was wearing a bomber jacket together with a pair of black leather pants, and he also had a silly Christmas sweater underneath his jacket. Wille had laughed that morning when Simon had found his sweater, but Simon had claimed that his fans would love the sweater. 

 

And it was true. The fans had loved, if not Simon’s sweater, then just SImon himself. The hosts could barely get all the screaming fans to calm down after he had performed his first song and they went on to the interview portion of the show. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Simon’s fans were in fact very dedicated, or maybe it was because Wille could be seen standing on the side of the set, looking solemnly at Simon throughout the first song before he had to leave. 

 

“Hello and welcome to you, Simon!” The male host greeted Simon overly enthusiastically. 

 

“Hey, thanks for having me!” Simon smiled at him, giving a small wave towards the gathered audience. 

 

“So how are you? Are you ready for Christmas?” the host continued.

 

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine, thanks” Simon lied. He was, in fact, not fine at all. “Yeah, Christmas is just going to be a little private affair this year, so it’s going to be nice.” He was a liar and just hoped nobody would see through him. 

 

“When you say small and private does that indicate that you are spending the holidays with your boyfriend?” The host looked at where Wille had been standing during Simon’s performance only to now notice that Wille was gone. 

 

“Oh, no,” Simon started, wondering how it was best to go on with this. “No, Wilhelm has obligations here in Stockholm throughout Christmas and New Years. I will just be at home.” There, that was okay. Nothing indicated that Simon would be all alone bawling his eyes out. 

 

“So, you won’t see each other throughout the holiday?” the host continued, smiling brightly at Simon. 

 

“I don’t know. I have to do some work in the studio between Christmas and New Years so I will be here in Stockholm, but we haven’t compared our schedules yet.” Simon smiled innocently at the host, feeling the collective shriek that went through the audience once he mentioned studio time. It felt like a tight blanket had been pulled down over his chest making it impossible to breathe properly. 

 

“So you’re going into the studio again? Anything you can share about that?” It was a female host that asked him that. When had she appeared? Had she been there the whole time?

 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m going to record some stuff. I can’t share with you what it is, but I can tell you that it’s going to be amazing. I’m sure of that!” Simon faked his happiness. Don’t let anybody see how you really are, be what they expect to see . The phrase that Wille had told him that morning ran on repeat in Simon’s head. 

 

The host went on to talk about the cause that Musikhjälpen was supporting that year and Simon zoned out, caught up in his head, running on autopilot. He had to sing another song. He knew that and he did that. Delivering what the audience expected of him, smiling, winking, flirting with the screaming onlookers. He did what was expected of him. He answered the questions, got photos taken of him, smiling fake smiles, pretending that he was happy even though he felt like breaking down.  He could really use Wille by his side right now, but Wille was somewhere else in Stockholm listening to a choir like he did every year. Would it be okay if Simon texted him? 

 

Without thinking Simon pulled out his phone while the radio station played a number for the listeners. 

 

Simon

Need you Wille. Not sure I can do this.

 

The reply came immediately.

 

Wille

You can do it Simon. Just get through it and meet me back in my room. I’ll let Jan-Olof know that you’ll be there today too. 

 

Simon

I just feel so broken, Wille

 

Wille

I know, love. Just a couple of hours and I’ll be home too. 

Push through it <3

 

“And we are back with our very own Simon Eriksson who apparently is occupied texting,” The female host sounded offended. Simon could understand if she was. 

 

“Ohh, umm, Wille just asked something,” Simon said, letting the pet name slip. “I mean Wilhelm. He asked something I had to answer.” 

 

The female raised her eyebrow but continued with their interview and Simon did his very best to answer meaningfully and to everybody's satisfaction.  

 

Finally, after what felt like years Simon was finished and free to go. He left the studio readying himself to find the right subway train so he could get to Drottningholm but was surprised when a black car and the same driver from this morning was waiting for him. 

 

“I umm, I don’t quite understand…” Simon managed to say, feeling so drained of all energy. 

 

“His Royal Highness asked me to pick up Mr. Eriksson here and drive him to Drottningholm,” the chauffeur said blankly. 

 

“Ohh, yeah. Thank you,” Simon whispered before slipping into the car, enjoying the peace and quiet it brought him. 

 

Back at Drottningholm, Simon hurried to Wille’s room, and crawled under the duvet on the way-too-big-bed and fell into a deep slumber. He was exhausted after pretending to be happy for about 2 hours. How in the world did Wille manage to keep himself together for the last year?

 

Soft strokes were scattered over his side, small kisses pressed to his hair and neck, making him stir awake in a slow fog. It was dark in the room. Had he been asleep? How long had he been sleeping? 

 

“Hey,” a soft voice, Wille’s voice, whispered into his ears. "Did you sleep well?"

 

Simon wiggled around only to hide himself in the warmth surrounding him. 

 

“How are you feeling, love?” Wille whispered before placing even more soft kisses on top of Simon’s head. 

 

“Tired,” Simon whispered. “I’m drained of all my energy, Wille. Why am I like this?” 

 

“You're just overwhelmed right now, Simon,” Wille answered him. “It’s okay to feel that way.”

 

“But I’m so broken and I don’t know why,” Simon whined, feeling his tears creeping up to the surface again. 

 

They lay in silence for a good while. Wille was gently stroking Simon’s back, comforting him and grounding him in a way Simon didn’t know he needed. 

 

“You know, Boris told me something back when we were 16,” Wille carefully said. Simon nodded to ease Wille on. 

 

“He told me that sometimes you can feel fine for a very long time and then suddenly when your body has relaxed all of its defensive mechanisms and your brain has time to digest things you had hidden away, then you can fall and crash again. It’s normal, Simon.” Wille took a breath, “There might not be anything majorly wrong now, but you can still feel depressed from something that you tucked away a while back.”

 

“Do you think that’s what this is?” Simon asked. “But why?” 

 

“You’re clearly not okay with spending Christmas alone, but you’re kind of forced to this year,” Wille kissed his curls. “I wish I could be with you, Simon. I really do.”

 

“It’s okay, Wille,” Simon could feel hot tears running down his face. “I just…. Everything is just a bit too much right now.” 

 

“Okay, let it be too much,” Wille answered. “We’ll get through this together. I love you Simon and I’m here for you. No matter what! We’ll get through this, love.” 

 

They held each other for a good while. Wille let Simon cry the tears he needed to let out, not commenting on them or what they had just talked about. Simon loved that Wille could let them be like that without trying to instantly fix Simon. Yes, Wille wanted Simon to be happy, Simon knew that, but Wille didn’t push Simon to disregard how he felt and just pretend to be happy instead. He let Simon be sad or depressed or whatever it was that Simon was without pushing him. It was almost freeing, in a strange way.

 

“I love you, Wille,” Simon whispered into the now dark room. 

 

“And I love you,” Wille whispered back, finding Simon’s lips. 

 

They let the kiss linger longer than necessary, let the kiss become two kisses, three kisses and then stopped counting. Their lips fit perfectly together in a well-practiced dance that neither of them would ever get tired of. Simon adored kissing Wille–adored the honest way Wille was always seeking him out for a kiss. 

 

Their tongues met, circling their way around each other while hands began to roam and explore bodies. It was only them and their shared love, a connection that was the most innocent yet passionate type one could imagine. 

 

“Wille,” Simon finally breathed out between kisses. He couldn’t say any more, his mouth occupied by Wille’s lips brushing over his own again in a soft dance. He tugged the arm of Wille’s sweater, easing him on top of himself, covering his body with Wille’s much taller frame. It was secure and safe underneath the weight of Wille. Simon knew it might be a bad coping mechanism of theirs, but they always comforted each other by being physically close to each other, making the hurt turn into pleasure and want. 

 

It was like Wille knew what Simon was thinking, needed, because he positioned himself with the utmost delicacy on top of Simon, careful not to hurt him in any way. 

 

“You okay?” Wille asked between kisses. Simon nodded. He was okay. 

 

Wille then pulled away from their kissing to sit up on top of Simon, leading his own pale hands underneath Simon’s shirt, up his belly and torso. Letting his hands slide along every muscle and every bit of skin on Simon while maintaining intense eye-contact with Simon. Simon was in another world. Everywhere Wille touched him, he left a slight tingle. A trail of love and affection, and it made Simon slowly, but surely forget everything else except the two of them. 

 

Very slowly, Wille started to remove Simon’s clothes. First his shirt, then the belt from his pants before he leaned down to kiss Simon again. His pants went to the floor together with his socks and lastly his boxers. He let Wille take off all his clothing, just helping when it was necessary. Simon concentrated on looking at the beautiful man sitting on top of him. He was pale as he always was in the winter, but Simon liked it. He liked the way their skin looked like yin and yang whenever they touched. He liked Wille and the intense look in his eyes of love and something else, something much deeper. Something much more. 

 

Wille continued to remove his own clothes before starting to move down Simon’s body, kissing every inch of it like every part of Simon was the most treasured thing in the world. He was so, so gentle and Simon almost broke into tears once more because of the affection and softness Wille was showing him. 

 

“Wille,” Simon huffed, hands tangled in Wille’s hair, as Wille bobbed his head up and down between Simon’s legs. “Wille, I need more, please!”

 

“Shhh,” Wille whispered into Simon’s skin, removing his mouth slightly from Simon. “I got you, love, just relax. Let me do this.” 

 

Wille shuffled around in the bedside drawer for a moment before returning his attention to Simon, playing with him, opening him up slowly while pressing his body as close to Simon’s as it was possible for him. Simon had wrapped his arms around Wille the moment he had placed himself on top of him, holding his blonde boyfriend in a tight embrace. He really loved Wille so much. He couldn’t put it into words what this man on top of him meant to him. 

 

As Wille eased himself into Simon it was with such intense eye-contact that Simon would have sworn that he would have died right there and then and gone to heaven. The feeling of being filled up by Wille, while being kept in that intense stare was so much more than he was ready for and a single tear escaped his eye. 

 

“Are you okay?” Wille asked before kissing the tear way.

 

Simon just nodded, pulling Wille even closer to him, wanting to be as close as humanly possible to the beautiful man he loved with everything he had. 

 

They made love, slow, and deep, and so meaningful. Simon was sure that he couldn’t feel any better than he did here together with Wille. What they did right now was so pure. It wasn’t hurried or wild or brought on by them being horney teenagers. It was pure love between them. It was beautiful. 

— 

 

Christmas Eve sucked big time. Simon had eaten breakfast and lunch together with Linda before she had to go to work. She apologized so many times that Simon had to ask her to stop apologizing for doing her job. She had laughed at him and wished him a good evening before she had left their house. 

 

Simon then went to his room and found his notebooks and small keyboard and carried them all to the living room. He placed the keyboard on the dining table and opened a notebook where he had scribbled some ideas and notes to songs that might turn into something more than just ideas. 

 

He looked it all over before diving into his work, writing, deleting, playing until he felt like he had something he could continue to work with. This was good, not as upbeat and fun as his first album was, but it still screamed Simon Eriksson so it was okay. 

 

As the clock neared dinner time Simon decided to post a happy Christmas post on his socials before heating up some leftovers. What a quiet, and lonely Christmas this was. 

 

SimonErikssonOfficial Merry Christmas to all of you! I hope that you’re having a wonderful time together with the ones you love and love you back! 

 

Time went by achingly slowly and even though he had planned to work on his music he somehow ran into a dead end and had to leave it alone for a while. He turned on the TV and began watching the Christmas special with Wille, Erik, and now Tindra as well. All of them laughed and talked about the year and how grateful they were for the support they had gotten throughout the year all while baking cookies. Simon smiled to himself. He knew Wille didn’t actually know how to bake cookies at all, but it was still a nice setting for him. Seeing him happy and smiling together with his brother and now sister-in-law. 

 

Simon

Do you actually know how to bake cookies now or do you still pretend? 

 

Wille

I pretend. Although this year Tindra did most of the actual cooking. 

 

Simon

Tindra is sweet like that. I would never have saved your ass like that. The whole nation would have known that both you and Erik aren't able to bake cookies. 

 

Wille

Fuck you, Simon. Would you really throw me under the bus like that?!

 

Simon

I stand by what I said <3

 

Wille

Well, one day you might be able to do that.

 

Simon

Wille?

 

Wille

Wouldn’t it be nice, though? The four of us in a Christmas special?

 

Simon

I don’t think it’s something your mother would approve of. 

 

Wille

She won't be Queen forever…

 

Simon

What do you mean?

 

Wille

Erik will take the throne after her and he is not the slightest bit worried about how a queer relationship will look to the monarchy. 

 

Simon

You are talking about your dead mom? That’s a bit morbid, even for you Wille.

 

Wille

No, I’m not. Not really. I’m talking about how it would be possible for us to be together someday. Like really be together. Like Erik and Tindra

 

Simon

We are already together, Wille. We’re not hiding or anything. 

 

Wille

Someday I want to spend Christmas with you here at the palace. I want you to be by my side for all the tedious official stuff I have to do each Christmas and I want to arrive together with you at the New Year's Gala and leave with you again. 

 

Simon

Wille…

 

Wille

I know, I know. I’m being a sap. Sorry.

 

Simon

What if I would really like that too? 

 

Wille

Then I’ll say let’s have it. Together <3

 

Simon

Wille?

 

Wille

Yes?

 

Simon

How are you able to answer me? Isn’t it in the middle of your dinner?

 

Wille

I went to the bathroom….

 

Simon

So, you’re sitting in the bathroom telling me all these romantic things… The bathroom Wille! Really?!

 

Wille

I didn’t know where else to go!

 

Simon

You’ve got class, let me tell you that!

 

Wille

Shut up, Simon!

 

Simon

Yeah, yeah. Go back to your fancy dinner and try to have some fun, okay?

 

Wille

Will you be okay?

 

Simon

I hope so. Just going to write some stuff or something. 

 

Wille

If you’re not okay, then call me! No questions asked. Just call me!

 

Simon

Yeah, yeah

 

Wille

Promise me that! 

 

Simon

I’ll call you <3

 

Wille

<3 

 

The train to Stockholm was packed, and Simon was grateful for the fact that he had pre-purchased his ticket. Normally he just bought a ticket and didn’t reserve a seat, but this time around he needed a seat so he could rest on his way to Stockholm. 

 

It was arranged that he could stay at Wille’s place, but he wasn’t sure how much time they would actually spend together. His schedule was packed with studio sessions, creative sessions, and also some photo shoots. He had to do it all in only 5 days - before New Year’s Eve. 

 

They were going to a party at Felice’s house for New Year's Eve and Simon kind of looked forward to it. It would be nice spending that evening together with their friends. Who knew what and where they would be this time of year next year. 

 

He was greeted warm-heartedly by Wille at the private entrance to Drottnignholm castle. Wille quickly explained to Simon that the Queen and him had come to an agreement where she would stay at Det Kongelige Slott while Wille was staying at Drottningholm. That way neither of them would jump to any rash decisions like both of them often did. 

 

They walked to the small kitchen where Wille had the coffee machine going, brewing a normal pot of coffee for them to take along to his room. Neither of them had anything planned for this day, so they had agreed beforehand that they would just stay in Wille’s room and binge-watch a show or something equally as relaxing before both of them had to work the next day. 

 

“Remind me again what it is that you need to do tomorrow?” Simon asked when they were on the 3rd episode of their show. 

 

“I need to go to this place called Suicide Rescue. It’s a non-profit that helps prevent suicide. They do a lot of work this time a year, and I actually pushed Mama to let me make an appearance there,” Wille said somewhat shyly. 

 

“Why did you need to push her? You being there would really put that organization in the spotlight!” Simon answered excitedly. 

 

“It’s a sensitive topic, Simon. It has to be dealt with delicately,” Wille tried to explain. “Like, for me it’s something that I would really like to be a long-term protector for or be partnered with. I think it’s so important that people know that there is a place they can go with their dark thoughts without being judged or targeted.” 

 

“Mmm, but why now?” Simon continued to question.

 

“The way you kind of relapsed after the wedding, my own mental health is not always at its best had me thinking,” Wille positioned him better, placing Simon between his legs instead of next to him. “What about all the people who don't have a strong safety net around them to keep them afloat. How do they handle mental struggles? Who will help them? The Suicide Rescue’s motto is: to talk about suicide prevents suicide . I actually believe in that and I want to help prevent it, Simon.” 

 

Simon was still for a while, digesting everything until it all suddenly hit him. 

 

“Have you ever considered it?...” Simon asked, afraid of the answer but he needed to ask.

 

“Kind of. Before I met you. About the time I was shipped away to Hillerska, I was in a pretty dark place,” Wille said, wrapping his arms around Simon and resting his head on top of Simon’s. “I never really wondered how, just thought about how freeing it would be to just be done with everything because everything I did felt wrong. I guess that’s why I started partying that much - before I met you I was a mess Simon.” 

 

“Wille, why haven’t you told me before?” Simon asked.

 

“I don’t know. It’s like there is a time before you and a time after you. Before you is something I only talk about together with Boris and…” Wille trailed off. “I just really want to help people who need help. I think that’s something I can do that I would actually enjoy.”

 

“So you’re taking advantage of privileges that were given to you by birth?” Simon teased but Wille clearly didn’t get the joking tone.

 

“No, Simon. Yes, I guess. But this is good.” Wille sat a bit more straight in the bed. “This is actually something I can use my title for without feeling some sort of disgust in myself. This is something that can help a lot of people, Simon!” 

 

“Relax, Wille. I know it’s good.” Simon turned around a bit to look at Wille. “I’m glad that you have found something that you feel passionate about–something that’s your own cause and not something your mother or the court has come up with.” 

 

“Really?” Wille sounded surprised. 

 

“Yeah, like,” Simon thought for a moment. “I have been feeling like shit lately but never too bad to think of ending my life or anything like that. There has always been someone to catch me. You’ve always been there to get me back on my feet. You’re so sensitive towards others’ feelings and needs when you want to be. I think this is the right thing for you!”

 

“I really feel that too, Simon,” Wille smiled. “It feels good to be able to be a part of something I’m passionate about. Like, every life is important and deserves respect and love.” 

 

“Beautifully said Wille,” Simon said, turning his attention back towards the tv. 

Notes:

Thoughts and comments are very much appreciated <3
You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 35: Chapter 35

Summary:

“You really think of Hillerska as your home?” Simon asked after a while.

“No, I think of you as my home” Wille slurred. “No matter where you are, I'm supposed to be too. I know that now. It was never about Hillerska. It was always about you.” 

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Wille, happy birthday to you!” Simon hugged Wille while singing the last part of the birthday song. Wille had been waiting for him at the bus stop near Hillerska and had been greeted by a smiling Simon singing a birthday song for Wille. 

 

“How does it feel to be 19 now?” Simon asked his boyfriend. 

 

“Not any different than being 18 to be honest,” Wille laughed at Simon before starting walking towards class. 

 

“Did the boys sing for you this morning?” Simon asked teasingly while they were walking. 

 

“That’s really not something we do in Forest Ridge, Simon,” Wille said. “I have rowing practice later today, but I’m sure I can make it to Bjärstad by supper if Linda still wants me over?” 

 

“Sure she wants you to come by. She adores you!” Simon replied. “I thought rowing was tomorrow?”

 

“It was, but Walter scheduled an extra practice session for today so we can be at our best for the match next weekend,” Wille explained.

 

“It still baffles my mind that Walter is prefect and head coach,” Simon answered and Wille could only agree with that. 

 

Nothing much happened at school that day. Their teachers were stressing the fact that their final exams were coming up in a month so they needed to do their very best at all times. 

 

Simon actually didn’t care about his exams this time around. He had finally convinced his mother that he didn’t need to go to university the moment he finished Studenten. It was okay if he wanted to give his music his best. Simon had dreams about touring Europe and Latin America. He had dreams about touring the whole world! He couldn’t do that if he had to keep up with a university curriculum at the same time. 

 

Wille, on the other hand, was applying to Stockholm University after their exams. He had finally put his foot down and demanded that he would choose his own studies and his choice had been ancient history–something Simon knew Wille was very passionate about but didn’t care much for himself. But as long as Wille was happy and all of that, he would be happy. 

 

Simon had some time to spare before Wille would be done with practice, so he decided to wait for him together with Stella and Frederika at some benches near the dressing rooms. 

The weather was nice, and like every other Scandinavian, they were tuned towards the sun, eyes closed and just soaking in the warm rays of light. 

 

“This is so nice,” Frederika said, breaking the silence they had fallen into. 

 

“Mmm, very,” Stella agreed. “I’m so tired of all the drama that has been going on throughout this winter. I’m ready for the summer to come and brighten up everything!”

 

“What do you mean?” Simon asked, turning his head away from the sun so he could look at Stella. 

 

Stella quickly looked around her to make sure no one else was around them. 

 

“Okay, so. You all clearly already know that Henry, Walter, and I hooked up last summer,” she started. “But it wasn’t just that one time…” 

 

Frederika made a very unconvincing gasp, “Are you serious?!” 

 

“Okay, so you knew about that too!” Stella said, rolling her eyes at them. “But then like, throughout the fall we continued doing stuff together because it was fun and all. But then like, they started doing stuff without me…”

 

“Just to be clear, when you say stuff we are talking about, you know…” Simon asked just to be sure.

 

“Sex, Simon. I’m talking about sex!” Stella firmly said. Simon nodded, sending her an apologetic smile. 

 

“But they share a room,” Frederika said matter of factly. 

 

“I know they share a fucking room, Frederika. That’s why it’s easier for them to just get it on with each other and leave me out of it.” 

 

“Ohh, hon,” Frederika said, placing an arm around her shoulder. 

 

“And like, we’ve been having so many discussions about that because Henry is with me. We are the couple, but Henry always defends Walter and takes his side and stuff. And Walter just lets it happen.”

 

“And are you okay with that?” Simon asked curiously. 

 

“NO!” Stella yelled. “I’m not okay with it, Simon. Henry is MY boyfriend but he acts like Walter's boyfriend. He doesn’t even want to admit it to my face. He just shrugs and walks away whenever I bring it up.” 

 

“Do you think that, like-” Frederika stopped in the middle of her sentence when the boys came out from the dressing room. 

 

“Hey!” Henry called out for Stella, walking up to her and placing a kiss on her forehead. “Everything okay babe?”

 

Stella just nodded and stood up, taking Henry’s hand in hers. “Yeah, I’m peachy.” 

 

Then they walked away leaving Walter, Wille, Simon, and Frederika behind. Simon shared a worried look with Frederika before walking towards Wille. 

 

“Ready?” he asked his boyfriend, taking his hand in his own hand. 

 

“Yeah,” Wille smiled. “I didn’t think you would be waiting for me today.” 

 

“Well, the weather was nice, so I decided to stay out here with the girls,” Simon answered. “Do you mind?” 

 

“Of course not,” Wille answered, smiling lovingly at Simon. “Let’s go home and hang with your Mom.” 

 

“Ugh, arent the two of you just adorably sickening?” Frederika said before standing up and walking towards the Manor House. Walter laughed at her remark before he too said goodbye to the pair and walked towards Forest Ridge. 

 

 

“Why is there an official car at your house, Simon?” Wille asked cautiously when they walked towards Simon’s house. The car was parked as close as it possibly could be to the house. “Please say that my mother isn’t here!” 

 

“I have no idea who that is,” Simon said innocently, placing a hand on Wille’s back and guiding him towards the house. 

 

“You are so bad at lying Simon!” Wille smiled. “You know exactly who’s here, so I’m guessing that it’s not Mama.” 

 

“Just go into the damn house and see for yourself, Wille.” Simon answered. 

 

So they walked into the house, calling out a hello as they usually did when they walked into the house. 

 

“¿Simon? ¿Wilhelm? ¿Eres Tu?” Linda's voice was heard from the living room. 

 

“Si, Linda. Lo siento, llegamos tan tarde,” Wille answered Linda from the hallway, hanging up his coat.

 

“Look at you speaking Spanish!” Simon whispered and kissed Wille. “I kind of like it. Maybe you should do that somewhere else, too!” 

 

Simon winked and walked towards the living room to find his mother. Wille walked after the other young man only hesitating a bit. 

 

“¡Feliz cumpleaños!” Linda said as soon as she saw Wille, hurrying towards him to give him a warm hug. “Have you had a good day?” 

 

“Yeah, it was okay. Thank you Linda,” Wille answered before letting go of Linda, eyes caught by two people sitting on the sofa. 

 

“Happy birthday, little brother,” Erik laughed towards Wille who was standing dumbfounded beside Linda. 

 

“Happy birthday, Wille,” Tindra chimed in and began walking towards Willed to give him a small hug.

 

Wille looked at Simon who just stood smiling happily at Wille. 

 

“Maybe I knew who was in the car now that I think of it,” Simon just said, walking towards Wille too and hugging him before kissing him gently. “Happy birthday, love!” 

 

Wille wrapped his arms around Simon, resting his head on Simon’s shoulder. His favorite way to stand with Simon, Simon had noticed.

 

“But how is this even possible?” Wille asked, looking around at all of them. “How do you have the time to be here today?”

 

“Our calendars have been cleared today,” Erik offered, only to leave an even more confused expression on Wille’s face. 

 

“We only had one other thing to do today, and we didn’t want anything to disturb that,” Tindra said softly, taking Erik’s hand.

 

“Ohh, was it a demanding thing?” Wille asked them, still wrapping himself around Simon. 

 

“No,” Erik looked at Tindra. 

 

“We just had to see a doctor,” Tindra started. 

 

“Are you okay?” Wille exclaimed, losing his hold around Simon to walk a bit closer to his brother and sister-in-law. 

 

“Relax, Wille. We are fine. More than fine. We just needed the doctor to confirm my pregnancy,” Tindra said, smiling. 

 

“What!?” Wille blurted out while Linda gasped.

 

“Are you for real,” Simon commented. “I'm so happy for you both!”

 

“Yeah, congratulations,” Sara said numbly from the entrance to the living room. “It’s nice to see that this child is wanted by everyone the way Sophia wasn’t.” She looked sad and hurt around the people gathered in the room before picking up Sophia from the ground and leaving. 

 

“Sara,” Linda called after her and started to follow her, but was stopped by Simon. 

 

“Let me, Mama…” he said before kissing Wille lightly and walking after Sara.

 

As he stood by the closed door to her room he could hear her faint cries. She was clearly trying to muffle the sound from her crying, but Simon had grown up together with her and had practiced how to cry without letting out a sound together with her. He could hear that she was crying even though she didn’t let out any real sounds. 

 

“Sara, can I come in?” he asked while leaning his head on the door.

 

There was no answer, so he opened the door slightly. Sophia was playing on the floor with some baby toys looking happy while Sara was sitting on her bed, legs crossed, and with tears running down her face. Simon joined her on the bed wrapping his arms around her. 

 

“What is it, Sara?” Simon asked in a low voice. 

 

“It’s just,” Sara began before stopping again to think. “It’s like, you’re all happy for Tindra, but no one was happy when I told people that I was expecting a child. Everybody tried to talk me out of keeping Sophia.” 

 

“It’s a bit different, Sara,” Simon objected.

 

“But still. It still hurts, Simon,” Sara said, leaning into Simon’s arm around her.

 

“You were 18 years old when you became pregnant, Sara. August and you didn’t have the healthiest relationship going, and he was in a different part of the country too. We were trying to look after you!” Simon said, feeling a bit emotional now. 

 

“You all judged me!” Sara shot back.

 

“What?! I was the one who bought the test for you, Sara. I was the one who helped you get through it all. I was the one who got you to the hospital when you were in labor. Me, Sara. It was me!” Simon was trying really hard not to let his emotions run wild. It wouldn’t help anything, but Sara was being a bit unfair right now. “I'm allowed to be happy for them. Even though you aren’t.”

 

“I didn’t say I wasn’t happy for them, Simon.” Sara hissed. “It just sort of hit me how alone I am in all of this. August is back in Göteborg after all, and I'm stuck here finishing school and taking care of Sophia. I know you and Mama are helping me a lot, but I still feel alone from time to time.” 

 

“Ohh, Sara,” Simon whispered into the room.

 

“Just go be with your boyfriend, Simon,” Sara sighed. “I’ll be out in a while. Go celebrate his birthday.” 

 

So Simon left Sara in her room so he could once more join the gathering in the living room. 

 

“She’ll be out in just a second, sorry,” Simon said as he walked into the living room again. “Where is Mamà?”

 

“She’s in the kitchen. Didn’t want any help,” Wille said from the sofa where all three of the royals were sitting. 

 

“She’s been at work all day, Wille,” Simon exclaimed, walking towards the kitchen. “She’s just trying to be nice. Come on, birthday boy; the least you can do is help set the table!” 

 

Wille looked at Simon with big eyes. 

 

“But she said-” he started. 

 

“Just come here already!” Simon said, walking out of the living room.

 

Without asking what to do, Wille went with Simon and started to find the plates and set the table as he had helped with so many times before. 

 

When they all had eaten Simon looked at Wille. 

 

“We got gifts for you,” Simon said, smiling.

 

“You know I don’t want you to buy me anything.” Wille looked around the table. “It goes for all of you.” 

 

“We care about you, Wilhelm,” Linda said. “And that’s why we want to buy you gifts when it’s your birthday.” 

 

Wille turned a nice shade of red. 

 

“Here, love,” Simon said and handed Wille an envelope. “I love you, happy birthday!” 

 

Wille took the envelope and gave Simon a small and shy smile before opening it. 

 

“Simon, you didn’t!” Wille gasped. “But this is for next weekend!” He held out two theater tickets for Six the Musical. 

 

“Well that’s why our plane leaves Thursday evening. We’ll drive to the airport after school, catch the plane, and land in Heathrow some hours later.” Simon looked at Wille excitedly. “We’ll fly home Sunday evening and be ready for all the stuff you’ll need to do throughout Easter.” 

 

“Simon, I don’t know what to say,” Wille just said, still holding the tickets out in the air. “It’s too much.” 

 

"No it’s not," Simon stated firmly. "You deserve everything!" 

 

“And that’s where our gift comes into the picture!” Erik said, handing a small box to Wille. 

Inside was another pair of tickets for a private night tour in one of the pods of the London Eye. Complete with a light dinner and everything. 

 

“Thank you Erik and Tindra. This is amazing!” Wille said, standing up to go hug both of them.

 

“You're so very welcome, Wille,” Tindra smiled.

 

“Yeah, you’re welcome” Erik echoed. “Mama and Papa say happy birthday, too. Here is their gift.” Erik shoved a box towards Wille who was sitting at the table again, holding Simon’s hand tightly. 

 

“I don’t want anything from them!” Wille exclaimed sternly. 

 

“Wille, please just open the box,” Erik said, rolling his eyes. “You're so dramatic all the time.” 

 

“Back off, Erik,” Simon all of a sudden snarled from Wille’s side. “Your mother has never treated you the way she has treated me and Wille. She’s never tried to bust into your room post-sex just to yell at you!”

 

“Simon,” Wille said, trying to calm down. “Now is not the time. It’s just….I’m just…. I don’t know how I feel about this gift.” 

 

“It’s okay to have mixed feelings Wilhelm,” Linda said from the other end of the table. “But I think that you should open the box. It’s from your parents after all. And you forgave me. I walked into your room too, I was suspicious about you to start with. You should forgive your mother too at some point. You too, Simon.” She looked pointedly at both young men. 

 

Wille just nodded and proceeded to open the neatly-wrapped box.

 

“What is it?” Simon asked when Wille didn’t say anything.

 

“It’s… It’s a gift card,” Wille answered in a thick voice. “It’s for Sweef AB. And a card saying that they hope we can find some nice furniture for our future home in that store.” 

 

“What?” Simon just exclaimed, but hurriedly collected himself when he saw Wille’s misty eyes. He wrapped his arms around Wille’s torso and hugged him the best he could from his seated position. “Our home,” he then whispered to Wille before kissing him gently.

 

“I knew it was a modern take on the six wives of King Henry VIII, but I thought there’d be a storyline or some semblance of a plot,” Wille said as they walked out of the theater Saturday evening.

 

“What do you mean?” Simon asked, surprised. “I thought it was an outstanding show. There was talent and skill showcased from the musicians and the cast. It was good, Wille!”

 

“The singing was excellent, no doubt about that, and it was a fun evening, just a little disappointing not having a true musical experience,” Wille tried to explain. 

 

“Come on! You can’t be serious!” Simon tried to convince Wille. “Each of the wives was styled and inspired by a singer such as Avril Lavigne, Ariana Grande, Adele, Nicki Minaj, and so on. It was amazing, Wille!” 

 

It just wasn’t what I expected. It was like watching the Spice Girls do a load of songs you have never heard before,” Wille shrugged his shoulders and began walking towards their hotel. 

 

They had been lucky enough to stay near the theater. It was quite deliberate from Simon’s side. When he had booked the trip he had imagined it would be kind of romantic to walk hand-in-hand down the streets of London after a show Wille would have loved. But here they were, walking down the streets of London with a prince that wasn’t happy about the show they had just watched. 

 

“At least the London Eye dinner was nice, right?” Wille said, trying to find Simon’s hand. 

 

Simon took his hand. He couldn’t refuse holding Wille’s hand just because they thought differently about the musical, but Simon couldn’t help but think that Wille didn’t like his present as much as he liked the ones from Erik and Linda. He knew he was just being silly and jealous, but he couldn’t push away that nagging feeling inside. 

 

“Was it a bad idea to buy tickets?” he then asked. “I know I don’t care that much about musicals, not like you do, but I really thought it would be something that you would’ve liked.”

 

“Oh, no, no, no, Simon,” Wille stopped in his tracks, placing both hands on Simon’s shoulders and looking intensely into his eyes. “It was a lovely gift. I was sure I would have liked the musical okay, but it just didn’t speak to me like it did to you. And that’s okay; we are allowed to like different things, you know?” 

 

A kiss was placed gently on Simon’s lips, making Simon melt just a tiny bit. 

 

“I love you,” Wille continued. Thank you so much for this nice birthday present. I really do appreciate it, Simon.” 

 

They hugged right there in the middle of the street not caring if anybody saw them or not. Until now they had been somewhat anonymous in this big foreign city, and they had liked that. Sure there were going to be some pictures of them in a magazine or two, or on someone's social media, but it wasn’t as bad as if they went out on a regular date back in Sweden. 

 

Just as they started to see the entrance to their hotel Simon heard someone call his name. 

 

“Simon! OMG it’s Simon Eriksson!” a female voice was heard.

 

Simon turned around searching for the voice that had called his name and it didn’t take long for him to spot a group of teenagers walking clumsily their way. 

 

“Hey, Simon,” a girl with black hair said. “We just wanted to say hi.”

 

Simon smiled. It was clear that the group was very shy and baffled by spotting them on the streets of London. 

 

“Hey guys,” Simon greeted them, still holding on to Wille’s hand. “Are you having a great evening?” 

 

“Mmm, yeah. It’s good, you know,” a boy that looked like he was the same age as Simon and Wille said. 

 

“Well, that’s good,” Simon answered. Sometimes he didn’t quite know what to say when fans spotted him on the street and wanted to speak with him. He wasn’t all that used to it yet. After all, his everyday life had stayed pretty much the same. He was still attending a boarding school and had been for the past three years - almost. 

 

“Can we umm, is it okay if we ask for an autograph and a picture or something?” another boy from the group asked. He was holding hands with the boy who had spoken before. 

 

“Sure,” Simon smiled, sending an apologetic smile towards Wille, but Wille showed nothing but patience and good manners, standing by Simon’s side smiling softly. 

 

“Okay, I got a pen!” the dark-haired girl shouted once she had emptied her handbag into another girl's hands. “Here you go, Simon!” 

 

“Ohh okay, what do you want me to sign?” Simon asked. The girl held out her handbag. “Are you sure? Okay, what’s your name?” 

 

They all told Simon and Wille their names while Simon signed autographs and took photos for the small group of friends. Wille politely declined to be in any pictures. He had claimed that royal protocol and stuff forbid him, but if Simon knew his boyfriend it was just an excuse not to be in the spotlight. 

 

The two boys told them that they were out celebrating one of their birthdays and that they were headed towards a club. “You are more than welcome to join us?” one of the boys asked as they were getting ready to move on. 

 

“Thank you so much,” Simon said, taking Wille’s hand in his again. “But we’ve had such a long day and just want to relax for the remainder of the evening. But you guys have fun!” 

 

“Yeah, go have fun!” Wille smiled at them. He kind of surprised everyone by speaking. He hadn’t really done that. “Thank you for liking Simon’s work. It’s hard not to like anything he does, right?” 

 

“True!” a girl agreed.

 

“OMG, Wille, Stop!” Simon muttered. “We need to go now. Be careful and have fun!” Simon waved at the group of people as they continued down the street on the quest to find somewhere to party. Other people were starting to look at them. They had for sure been noticed as more than two regular people out on a date. 

 

“Let’s get to the hotel before someone finds out where we are staying!” Simon whispered to Wille and then they started to walk toward their hotel with hasty steps. 

 

Once inside their room, Wille took it upon himself to hang their jackets on the hanger before capturing Simon in a hug. “Thank you,” he whispered into Simon’s ear. 

 

“For what?” Simon smiled, questions in his eyes. 

 

“For taking me here, for being you, gentle, caring and awesome,” Wille said, kissing Simon’s curls. “I still miss your long hair, though!” 

 

“Mmm, it’s not coming back, Wille,” Simon smiled and leaned into Wille’s touch. “Those days are over, love. But I’m glad that you like this. Us being together like this. I really like it too. It makes me feel like a real couple.” 

 

“And we are not real back home?” Wille laughed. 

 

“No, not like this. Back in Sweden we have to plan everything really carefully and all. I really love whenever we go on vacation together and we don’t have to plan anything other than what we’re going to cook for dinner.” 

 

“I do like cooking with you,” Wille said. 

 

“You hardly do any cooking, Wille,” Simon laughed, pulling away from Wille. “I do most of the cooking. Anyways - would you like a bath?” 

 

“I don’t know, SImon,” Wille said, scratching his neck. “It’s kind of late and we’ve been on our feet all day. I was just thinking of hitting the shower tomorrow, but if you think it would be too nasty not to shower before we go to bed I’ll…” 

 

Wille was stopped by Simon kissing him. 

 

“I was talking about the two of us sharing a nice warm bath and everything that comes with that,” Simon whispered, winking at Wille before disappearing into the bathroom to fill the bathtub. 

 

“Ohh, I just thought…” Wille said. Then a bit louder, “Hey, Simon. Wait. I’m coming!” 

 

“I had hoped you would’ve lasted a bit longer, love!” Simon laughed from the bathroom.

 

“Ohh, fuck off!” Wille laughed back at him. 

 

“I would much rather that you fuck me!” Simon answered a now shirtless Wille.

 

“I can’t do that, Simon,” Wille said as he walked towards Simon looking at him like a predator. “I can never just fuck you, I can only love you, make love to you, and then hope that you will be able to feel every ounce of feeling that I pour into our love making!” 

 

Wille grabbed Simon around his hips and lifted him onto the counter, capturing his lips in an intense kiss. 

 

“Holy shit, Wille!” Simon moaned in between kisses. 

 

“Just shut up and kiss me,” Wille complained, fumbling with the buttons of Simon’s shirt. 

 

“Sure, yes,” Simon mumbled. “I can totally do that!” 

 

“Simon!” Wille said once again a bit more sternly.

 

“What?” Simon asked, eagerly latching onto Wille. 

 

“Shut up, now!” Wille said, fumbling his way down to Simon’s pants, unbuttoning them hurriedly. 

 

Simon’s pants were soon on the floor and so was his shirt. It didn’t take long for Wille’s clothes to follow. Everything was scattered across the floor, neither of them caring about that any longer.

 

They had been sitting, or Simon had been sitting, on the counter, kissing passionately while the tub was being filled, but once Wille deemed it filled enough, he gently helped Simon down from the counter and into the hot water. 

 

Simon let Wille maneuver him around so they ended up with Simon sitting between Wille’s legs. Willed had wrapped his arms around Simon’s shoulders and arms, resting his read on Simon’s shoulder. For a moment they just sat there, enjoying each other's closeness. Simon sought comfort in the familiarity of Wille’s body and touch and how it dissolved the chasm between you and me. The way he felt was not merely an us, Wille and Simon, because “we” could still be divided. Simon felt anything but divided whenever he was with Wille. Instead he felt that there was a mutual consciousness of unbounded unity without partition. Without limits. Simon sighed, leaning just a bit further back resting his head on Wille’s shoulder. 

 

“I love you so much, Wille,” he whispered into the bathroom. He could feel Wille smile beside him and slowly turn his head so that his lips could reach Simon’s soft neck. As Wille started to cover Simon’s neck in small kisses, Simon let his head move slightly to the side to grant Wille better access. Slowly, but surely, Wille’s hands moved down Simon’s body, down his well trained torso and down to his hips, fingers feeling light but at the same time grounding and sure. Wille knew exactly what he was doing and what he had in mind. 

 

Delicately Wille traced his fingers over Simon’s cock, feeling it up and down lightly, making sure it was fully erect before wrapping his fingers all around Simon.

 

“Wille,” Simon sighed. He let himself go as Wille started to move his hand on Simon. He let himself get lost in the feeling of not knowing what was going to happen. Not being in control of his own pleasure. Simon had always felt handjobs relaxing. If it was because it was always Wille who gave them to him, other than himself, or if it was the act itself, Simon didn’t know. All he knew was that he liked when Wille touched him like that. 

 

Simon could feel himself getting closer to his climax as Wille kept moving his wrist up and down, speed never quickening. The only thing that let on that Wille was enjoying this were the kisses and his rapid breaths felt on Simon’s neck. That and the bulge Simon could feel against his back. Just as Simon was about to come, Wille stopped what he was doing.

 

“What?” Simon asked in a rough voice that sounded nothing like his own. 

 

“Shh,” Wille whispered. “We’re going to bed, love. The water is getting cold, and I really would like to try and ride you - if that’s okay?” 

 

“Mghh,” was the only thing Simon could muster so he opted to nod frantically as Wille carefully helped both of them out of the tub. He quickly wrapped Simon in a fluffy towel, before loosening the plug in the bathtub and finally finding a towel to himself. 

 

“Go to the bed and wait for me, love,” Wille kissed Simon like there was no tomorrow. “I’ll be with you in a moment.” 

 

With that Simon was gently led out of the bathroom.

 

When Wille had to leave to head home to Sweden again Simon stayed in London for an additional 3 days. He had appointments set up with producers and songwriters and even though he felt a strange tug in his chest as he said his goodbye to Wille, he was also buzzing with excitement for the possibility to work with new and talented people. Just the fact that some British people had recognized him on the streets of London had made him immensely happy and proud. It felt like he was doing much greater career-wise than he ever had imagined, just being realistic. 

 

Sunday afternoon and evening as well as Monday was spent together with a songwriter, looking through lyrics, writing new lyrics, and Simon loved every moment of it. Daniel and Eva joined them through zoom for some hours greenlighting some songs for Simon’s new album. 

 

As Simon went to bed Monday evening he couldn’t believe that he was working on his second album not even a year after his debut album had dropped. It was a true out of this world experience for him and it made him even more sure of his choice to not attend any university next school year. He could do this! 

 

Simon

How was easter egg hunting today?

 

Wille

Awkward - Mama and Papa still expect me to actually hunt for easter eggs together with the kids just to get some new photos for the press, but it’s like they have forgotten that I’m 19 years old now. Not 9 years.

 

Simon

I would have loved to see a 9 year old Wille hunt for eggs

 

Wille

It wasn’t pretty. Erik always found the eggs before me so I was just walking around being moody. 

 

Simon

That does not even surprise me <3

 

Wille

Would you like to have plain white walls in our apartment or should we order a painter or something? 

 

Simon

It would be okay with a bit of color, but with all the plants that you are planning on bringing with you I would prefer natural colors. 

 

Wille

Okay, should I look into it? make an appointment with a painter?  

 

Simon

This might sound silly but… I was kind of hoping that we could paint it ourselves. 

 

Wille

Ourselves?

 

Simon

Yeah. I quite enjoy painting walls. It’s relaxing - you should try it. 

 

Wille

Okay, we can try it. But you’ll have to teach me. I have never tried it before.

 

Simon

I’ll teach you! <3

 

Wille

<3

 

Simon

Can you come with me Thursday when I have to pick up the keys?

 

Wille

I don’t know. I’m not sure of my calendar yet. Just know that I would love to come if it’s possible for me!

 

Simon

I know. 

 

It felt silly to be chatting about moving in together when they still were in school, getting ready for their final exams and all, but the prospect of living - actually living - together with Wille in their very own space made Simon immensely happy. Waking up to his boyfriend every morning, lazy kisses in bed, caresses, and much more. Not when they had the opportunity but whenever they wanted it. A place that would be wholly theirs. No one to interrupt, knock on walls, or yell down the hall. 

 

And to top it off the Queen didn’t seem to have many complaints about their decision to move in together at just 19 years old. 

 

Simon didn’t know if someone had talked to her without him or Wille knowing, but she seemed more at ease with the idea of Wille dating a man for good. It was true that she had let Wille release a statement all those years ago, but she had also made it clear that she would have liked to deny it all if Wille wasn’t so recognisable in that photo. A photo that had circled the internet and socials multiple times. It was like every time one of them did something worth mentioning it was dug up from the grave and analyzed anew. 



Simon landed back in Sweden Thursday morning, 1 new song recorded, and 2 newly-written songs to record with his label richer. The days in London had been intense, and while he had dreamed about writing all of his own music, he felt okay with the songs that were written for him. They were maybe not written by him, but they represented something he stood for and believed in, and that was all that mattered. 

 

The evenings in London he had spent on the phone with Linda looking for possible managers to represent him. Things were getting too big for Linda and Simon to handle themselves. He needed a more professional team to get him shows, interviews, and whatnot. He wanted to really break through and be a well-known name in this business. They had consulted with Daniel and Johan as well, and in the end, they had decided to go with an in-house manager, signing her to handle more of Simon’s stuff. It felt good that it wasn’t someone who didn’t know Simon and how he worked. She would handle his business schedule from now on, and with that firmly in mind Simon believed the next year would be his year to shine!

 

The landlord was standing in front of the apartment complex, waiting impatiently. Simon was a bit late, but baggage claim had been tediously slow and he then had missed the subway, so he had to wait for the next one. 

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Simon said as soon as he was within hearing range of the landlord. “I just came from London and the baggage claim was so slow.” 

 

The landlord grunted something slightly similar to disrespectful youth but gave Simon a smile before they walked into the building. He showed Simon the apartment one last time before handing over the keys to Simon and making him sign the lease. And that was it. It felt oddly too easy. Almost like it was anticlimactic. Simon was standing alone in their new apartment, luggage by his side, and nothing else. He walked through the rooms one more time before dragging his suitcase into what would become their bedroom. He already loved their home.

 

After a quick change of clothes and some texts to Wille - he didn’t answer, he was busy doing royal shit - Simon headed for his record label, which was only a short walk away from his, scratch that, their apartment. 

 

Inside he was greeted by Johan who had agreed to meet Simon that day even though it was in the middle of Easter. They listened to his recording from London and brainstormed ideas for some promotional stuff. Johan was quite sure that they would need to make a music video for the London single, but they had to run that through with some other guys first and then set a budget and find a director and… There was so much more to this than Simon could have ever imagined, and by the time he was done at the label, he was all dizzy and foggy in his head. To be fair - he had forgotten to eat lunch and was still running on his breakfast that he ate very early in London that morning. He decided that he would pick up a döner kebab on his way back to the apartment. 

 

When he arrived in front of the building a blacked-out car was parked right in front of the entrance. Simon knew it could only mean that Wille was here. He stopped in front of the car and knocked on the window only to find that the door opened and a lovely Swedish prince stepped out on the streets. 

 

“Hello, love,” Wille greeted Simon before giving him a quick peck on the lips. “Have a good day?”

 

“Mmm, yeah. Busy but good,” Simon answered. “You?” 

 

The driver had stepped out of the car and was heading to the trunk where he pulled out a box and some big blue IKEA bags. 

 

“Have you been to IKEA?” Simon asked amused. He could not imagine Wille browsing an IKEA looking for furniture and what not. 

 

“Well, no. I would really like to go there one time though,” Wille said shyly. “I just asked Anders, the driver, to buy us an air mattress and some overnight supplies.” 

 

“Why?” Simon asked, hurrying himself to Ander’s side to take the box the air mattress was in. 

 

“I thought it would be nice to sleep in our new apartment tonight!” Wille looked so excited when he said that and Simon couldn’t help smiling. How could he deny Wille that?

 

“Sure, come on. Let’s go,” Simon smiled and walked into the building. 

 

Wille and Anders followed, but when they reached the door to their apartment, Anders let go of the two big bags and bid Wille a good evening before he headed back to the car. 

 

“What was that all about?” Simon asked while unlocking the door. 

 

“I asked Anders not to come into our apartment” Wille said shyly. “I want it to only be a Wille and Simon place–somewhere where the Royal Court and anything associated with it will not be allowed.” 

 

“So you don’t want to show the place to Erika and Tindra? To your parents?” Simon asked, surprised. 

 

“I don’t know,” Wille said, honestly. “For now I just want to be here with you.”  

 

Thankfully the air mattress Anders had bought for them was one of those fancy ones that had a little pump so it would blow up by itself. That gave Simon time to dig through the two big IKEA bags and see what else Anders had bought for them. There were the very obvious items such as a bed sheet, two sleeping bags, because Wille would only sleep with his own duvet and even had a special one brought to Hillerska for him, two pillows, two toothbrushes, toothpaste, toilet paper, some shampoo that looked very fancy, four towels, some snacks, and something to drink. On top of that was a plant.

 

“You made your driver buy a plant, Wille?” Simon asked, shocked. 

 

“Well, I like plants, and Anders knows that,” Wille just shrugged before trying to get the bedsheet on the air mattress. He wasn’t good at it, but Simon let him do it alone, content to watch his boyfriend struggle, almost fighting with the bedsheet.

 

“All done!” Wille proclaimed, proud after a while. “Let’s eat!”

 

He dropped down on the mattress and waited for Simon to join him. 

 

“I only bought one döner kebab,” Simon said, finding his food from the brown paper bag he had gotten it in. 

 

“Well I heard that good boyfriends share their food,” Wille said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You are so stupid!” Simon just answered before plopping down on the mattress as well. 

 

They shared the döner kebab, taking turns to take bites. It was all quite nice and domestic. Wille told Simon about what he had been doing the last couple of days as if he hadn’t already told Simon it all during their calls, and Simon told Wille about his new songs–both the two that weren't recorded yet and the one that he had recorded in a very intense session in London. It was all so domestic and normal and Simon loved every second of it! 

 

The day before their graduation ceremony the 3rd years had one last party at Hillerska. It wasn’t a secret, everybody knew, even the teachers, but it was this unspoken rule or tradition that the 3rd years could have that one night without anyone interrupting. The only condition was that they had to be presentable the next day. 

 

Sara was there too for once. She hadn’t participated in many of the parties that year, but Linda had said that she needed to be at this one otherwise she would regret it later on in her life. So Simon and Sara had taken the bus to Hillerska one last time to join their friends at the palace. 

 

As soon as they entered the old, worn building they were met by loud music, bright lights, and booze everywhere. Most of them were 19 years old by now, so they all had access to alcohol and they had taken advantage of that ever since they turned 18 years old. Simon still didn’t want to drink in the slightest, having too many bad memories of what excessive drinking could do back from his childhood. But he had gotten used to his friends drinking and losing control - even Wille. Although, to be fair, Wille didn’t drink that much any longer. 

 

Felice was sitting in a corner, crying her eyes out, and Sara hurried over to her side as soon as they saw her. 

 

“What’s the matter with her?” Simon asked Wille once he had reached the group of friends. 

 

“She’s sad that this is our last night together,” Wille explained, pulling Simon into his chest so he could hug him from behind and rest his head on Simon’s shoulder. “I think she’s kind of right. It is sad.” 

 

“Hey, you don’t get to complain! You didn’t even want to come here in the first place,” Simon teased Wille. 

 

“Well, I found my home here, and some real friends,” Wille said into Simon’s hair and didn’t that make Simon smile. 

 

“Ey! Love birds!” Henry's voice cut through the music. “Let’s do some shots and then hit the dance floor!” 

 

“You go ahead!” Simon yelled back at him. “I’m perfectly capable of dancing without shots. Wille?” 

 

Simon turned around to look at Wille, expecting him to give Henry his own answer. But Wille just stood still behind Simon, looking down to the floor. 

 

“Hey, you can let loose for once,” Simon said. “Maria and her camera aren't here. It’s just the 3rd years, and they don’t care about you any longer, Wille. It’s okay. Go ahead if you want to.” 

 

“I count on you to see me safely home to my room later on then,” Wille smiled as he loosened his grip around Simon and walked towards Henry, Walter, Stella, and Frederika. They were ready with what looked like liquorice shots. Simon gagged just from thinking of drinking anything that was liquid liquorice. 

 

“Simon, Simon!” Felice then called at him. Simon turned around and walked the short way over to his crying friend. Both Madison and Sara were hugging her. 

 

“Hey, Felice. What’s up?” Simon said, chipper to try to lighten her mood. 

 

“We haven’t become good enough friends, ohh my God!” Felice cried. “We just sing together and we tolerate Wille together, but that’s all our friendship consists of. We are not going to keep in touch and… and… ohhh, Simon.” She started crying even more, startling Simon. She wasn’t wrong per se. They didn’t have that much interaction with each other outside choir and whenever Wille was not around, but to say that they weren’t proper friends was still strange. Simon blamed it on the alcohol. 

 

“Hey, come on now, Felice,” Simon said, sitting down beside her on the floor. “You can always come and visit us. We’re going to live in the same town, you know. And you’re Sophia's godmother, too. I’m sure we’ll see each other after graduation, okay?” 

 

“But Sophia is moving with Sara!” Felice cried. Simon looked at Sara. She hasn't mentioned anything about moving. Or maybe she had and Simon had been too busy to take notice. He suddenly felt bad for not spending more time together with his sister. 

 

“Göteborg is so far away!” Felice cried, looking at Sara. 

 

“You are always welcome to visit us!” Sara tried to calm Felice. “August likes you, you know. It would be so nice if you came by from time to time.”

 

“Yeah, like she wants to hang out with that prick,” Maddison commented. 

 

“Excuse me!” Sara said, offended. 

 

“Come on, Sara. He’s been treating you badly the whole time. It was only when Sophia came into the picture that he started to actually acknowledge you! Have some self-respect, woman!”

 

“Don’t speak to Sara like that!” Simon exclaimed standing up.

 

“I can speak for myself, Simon!” Sara said, standing up herself. “Don’t speak to me like that! It might seem strange to you and even to my family, but August is my everything. I love him! He’s different and has some different values than most people, but those values fit together with mine…”

 

“WTF Sara?!” Simon almost yelled. “He’s a monarchist, doesn’t believe in equality, and thinks that you should be a stay-at-home mom. He made you hide your relationship and trash-talked me and our family in front of the whole school. How does that fit with your beliefs?” 

 

“I believe that class is everything in this world, Simon. It might not be good, but it’s how the world works after all. The most powerful get the best things in life,” Sara looked at him sternly. “If I have to be a stay-at-home mom I would happily do that. I will be a countess one day and August will make sure to turn around the profit and make everything good. He’s already doing much better.” 

 

“You’ll only be a countess if you marry him,” Simon argued. 

 

“Well, maybe we plan on getting married,” Sara shot back.

 

“WHAT?” Screamed Felie’s surprised voice, which shook the two Eriksson siblings out of their banter. “OMG! I swear. If I’m not the maid-of-honor I’m flipping out!” Then she leaned her head back on Maddison’s shoulder and closed her eyes. 

 

“How much has she had to drink?” Simon asked Maddison. 

 

“Umm, she had some shots before dinner and some before we came here,” Maddison said, sounding very unsure whether what she said was the truth of it. 

 

“Okay, whatever,” Simon said, looking around for Wille.

 

He was jumping around on the dance floor clearly a bit intoxicated from the shots he had done. 

 

“I’m going to dance,” Simon said and excused himself from the girls, finding his way over to his tipsy boyfriend. 

 

They danced for a while, Wille jumping up and down, arms flying everywhere, and Simon actually dancing. It was fun and relaxed until Stella declared that she had to puke and Frederika followed her to help - or maybe puke herself. Simon wasn’t sure. The girls had clearly had a lot to drink even before the party had started. 

 

“Nice, classy girlfriend you’ve got there,” Walter said to Henry.

 

“Shut up! At least I’ve got a girlfriend!” Henry shot back. 

 

“No offense,” Wille cut in, placing himself between the two friends. “But I kind of thought that both of you were doing her. Or dating her? Or… What’s it called, the thing you’re doing?” 

 

“None of your fucking business, Wille,” Henry exclaimed, looking angry. 

 

“Well you make it my business by ruining this evening!” Wille shot back, and Simon should really stop Wille from saying anything more. 

 

“Wille, come on. Let’s go outside for a bit,” Simon tried to say.

 

“No, you know what, Simon. Let’s not. I want to hear this,” Wille protested. “Henry, you’ve been dating Stella ever since the Valentine’s Ball in our first year, Walter,” Wille looked at the brunette, “You’ve been fucking around with both Henry and Stella since last summer and Frederika has been pining for Stella for God knows how many years…” 

 

“Wille, you should really shut up,” Simon tried to stop the prince but it was no use. 

 

“What are you getting at?” Walter asked. 

 

“I just don’t get it!” Wille threw his hands up in the air. “I mean, Simon is enough for me. He’s everything I need and I would never, ever share him with anyone! How can you, Henry,” a finger was pointed somewhat at Henry, “share your girlfriend with your best friend without getting feelings all mixed up?” 

 

Henry just looked at Wille, his expression blank. Simon prayed to the higher powers that Wille would shut up and leave it be, but that didn’t happen. 

 

“Walter, are you in love with Stella or what?” There was a moment of silence before Wille continued his rant. “Or is it Henry you’re crushing on? That would be something right, because he’s with Stella and…”

 

“I swear Wille if you don’t shut up now I’m going to withhold sex for the entire summer!” Simon exclaimed, panicked. He had to make Wille shut up. He was saying a lot of stuff he wouldn’t dare to say if he had been sober. 

 

“You wouldn’t dare!” Wille sounded offended as he looked at Simon with big puppy eyes.

 

“Try me!” Simon challenged and that made Wille stand down and move away from the two friends who were just staring at each other, not taking notice of Simon nor Wille. “Come on, Dr. Phil. Let’s get you some water and air, okay?” 

 

Wille didn’t answer but he let Simon drag him outside in the mild summer evening. They found somewhere quiet to sit together, side-by-side. 

 

“Drink some water, love,” Simon said and handed Wille a bottle of water he had snatched from the bar before they had walked out of the building. 

 

Wille was wearing a necklace made out of glow sticks that made him look absolutely ridiculous, but Simon had to look equally silly. He was wearing glow sticks as a halo. 

 

He looked at his boyfriend downing the water in big gulps. He must have been more drunk than what Simon had first believed when seeing his dancing - if what Wille had done could be called dancing. 

 

“You really think of Hillerska as your home?” Simon asked after a while.

 

“No, I think of you as my home” Wille slurred. “No matter where you are, I'm supposed to be too. I know that now. It was never about Hillerska. It was always about you.” 

 

“Are you going to miss this?” Simon then asked, looking around. 

 

“Are you?” Wille just asked in return, making Simon’s heart do silly things. This conversation reminded him a lot of a chat they had had long ago. 

Sweet 16

If it makes you feel any better, I really don’t like anybody at that school. Except Felice. Felice is a friend.

 

My Angel

Third question of the day…. Do you like Hillerska?

Sweet 16

No…..

Sweet 16

But I have no say in where my education takes place. At least I’m still in Sweden and not shipped off to Switzerland or England or somewhere fancy like that. 

My Angel

Would your family not take into consideration what your wishes are regarding school? 

Sweet 16

I’m so embarrassed to say no. But that’s the truth. I have no say in that. 

Now Simon was immensely glad that they hadn’t taken Wille’s wishes into consideration when choosing to ship him off to Hillerska. 

“I love you, Wille,” Simon said into the air. “You’re my home, too!” 

 

The day of their graduation started by Hillerska hosting a special breakfast for all 3rd year students. Both boys and girls were allowed to eat together and have a glass of champagne. Any other gymnasium students would have had much more than just one glass of champagne, but this was still Hillerska and they had to have some boundaries when it came to serving alcohol to the students. 

 

Simon had woken up with Wille sprawled out on top of him, snoring lightly.

 

“Wille, we have to wake up, love,” Simon tried to ease Wille awake and it seemingly worked because not long after Wille started moving around. Only Wille rolled off Simon and instead spooned him. 

 

“I’m too tired. Do we have to attend today?” Wille mumbled into Simon’s curls.

 

“It’s our graduation day, Wille,” Simon argued. “It’s our last day at Hillerska. I’ve even heard the Royal Family will attend.”

 

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Wille sighed, loosening his hold on Simon. “Mama and Papa would surely have us take pictures together and all.” 

 

“As would every parent today, Wille” Simon turned around and kissed his boyfriend’s forehead. “Now stop being moody and get up, shower, and brush your teeth. Then, if you’re lucky, you’ll get a morning kiss.” 

 

“Why not now?” Wille pouted. 

 

“Because your breath stinks, Wille,” Simon teased before crawling over Wille and jumping out of the bed. “I’m going to take a shower. See you in a bit.” 

 

With that Simon collected some fresh underwear and a towel and went out into the hallway to head for the showers. It had been a long time since he had worried himself with getting caught by anyone. He’d come a long way since the first time he visited Wille and crawled through the window of all places only to sit on the floor for most of the day and chat. He smiled at that memory. It had been a nice day but also a scary day. He knew from that day on that he was gone for Wille, that no matter what happened Wille would always have a very dear place in his heart. A place that no one could take or fill the way Wille had done. 

 

The graduation ceremony was watched by the other students as well as the graduating students’ parents and family. Simon could clearly see the Royal Family sitting up front, the Queen, Prince Consort, Erik, and Tindra. All four of them sat with straight backs and small smiles plastered on their faces. 

 

“Do they have to smile like that?” Simon whispered to Wille just before they had to separate to go to their arranged seating. Wille only had time for a smile before they were pushed in their different directions. Simon was headed towards the podium together with Felice and four other 3rd year students. They had to sing together with the choir before the headmistress would give a speech and then they would be given their diplomas. 

 

As the choir director signaled the choir to start singing, Simon did everything in his power to ignore Maria and her shrieking voice. It really wasn’t shrieking, she had a beautiful voice, but Simon had just come to connect that voice with annoyance, so shrieky it was. 

 

Simon closed his eyes and concentrated. He wanted to enjoy this last time singing together with the friends he’d made in the choir. After these three songs it would all be over, done. Never again would he sing together with these people. Never again would he spend countless hours practicing in a room that was either too hot or too cold. He could feel his emotions run away, so he quickly steadied himself and surrendered to the music. 

 

I've been hearing symphonies

Before all I heard was silence

A rhapsody for you and me

And every melody is timeless

Life was stringing me along

Then you came and you cut me loose

Was solo singing on my own

Now I can't find the key without you

 

He looked at Wille while singing, hoping that Wille would understand what was meant by this even though the prince was a bit hungover from the night before. Simon knew very well that Wille wasn’t the first to listen to the meaning behind the words in a song, he would much rather just listen to Simon’s voice, or so he had told Simon at some point. 

As Simon started to sing the next bit of the song, Wille started smiling back at Simon. 

 

And now your song is on repeat

And I'm dancing on to your heartbeat

And when you're gone, I feel incomplete

So, if you want the truth

 

Simon could remember the first time he had seen Wille. Or the first time he knew who Wille was. It had been a Thursday evening in December. Wille had been wearing a white Lucia gown, his hair slightly longer than it was now. His face had been slightly rounder, not grown into his cheekbones quite yet. He had still been tall, but not as tall as he was now. 

 

Simon remembered how nervous both of them had been when they first met in the woods in front of the Palace. Wille questioned if Simon would still like to get to know him. He remembered all the shy smiles they had shared and how they had held hands. It felt magical and intense and so good all at the same time. Now they would never be back, having an everyday life here.

 

The audience applauded the choir when they were finished singing and all the students went past the podium to find their seats. Wille and Simon were not sitting near each other. Wille had asked if he should ask the headmistress to have them sit together, but Simon had told him that it would be too much of an abuse of his title. Therefore they were sitting in two different rows, and when the time came to actually walk up and accept their diplomas Wille was first in line. Simon cheered and howled together with the rest of their class when Wille walked up to the podium to accept his diploma. Of course there were official photographers to capture the moment, and Simon could see how uncomfortable Wille was when he had to stand and shake the headmistress’ hand for way too long. Then it was the other students’ turn. They went alphabetically by their last name. Sara was just before Simon, and he cheered her on as she happily walked up and accepted her diploma. He could hear Wille and their friends cheering too, and Sara looked so happy that it made Simon smile from his seat. 

 

As it was his turn he could hear not only Wille, but also Erik and Tindra cheering from their seats. The Queen would without doubt have a word with them afterwards, but it was nice to know that they saw Simon as much a part of their family as Wille. Simon was there for good, after all. Simon couldn’t believe he had done it. He had made it through Gymnasium and even had decent grades and all. Not that he would use them now, but he had accomplished what 16-year-old Simon had only wished for. That, and so much more. 

 

When all students had gotten their diplomas, everybody sang the Hillerska song before the headmistress informed them that the school would host a small banquet outside in some big party tents that were put up for the occasion. 

 

The parents walked alongside the graduates the short way over to the tents where fruit, champagne, and strawberry pie was waiting. Linda didn’t steer her children towards the tents, though. She demanded that they should have what felt like thousands of pictures taken. First of Sara, then of Simon, then of Sara and Simon, then of Simon and Wille, and then of Sara, Simon, and all of their friends together. 

 

“This is more intense than any official photo session I’ve been a part of,” Wille whispered to Simon while Linda shot some more photos.

 

“Okay, now only the boys!” Linda commandeered them. 

 

 The boys stepped together, everybody looking more and more tired of Linda’s photography. 

 

“And the girls,” Linda then said. The group rearranged itself and Linda continued her mission. 

 

“Can we borrow my brother for a while now?” Erik’s voice was suddenly heard from behind Linda. 

 

“Ohh, Erik, hello,” Linda smiled and hugged Erik and Tindra totally disregarding any protocol that was in place when greeting a member of the Royal family. 

 

“Wilhelm, Simon, Erik te necesita,” Linda called out for the boys, young men. 

 

“Bien, ¡vendremos ahora!” Wille called back, surprising their friends with his Spanish skills. 

 

“¿Has terminado con las fotos mamá?” Simon asked when they approached Linda 

 

“Sí, tengo mucho ahora,” Linda answered them, squeezing their shoulders as they walked by her and over to Erik. 

 

“Nice Spanish skills, Wille,” Erik laughed when they were beside him. 

 

“Well, I need to be able to speak with Simon’s mother don’t I?” Wille said. 

 

“She speaks Swedish perfectly well, Wille,” Simon shot back. 

 

“Well, I need to find new ways to woo you then,” Wille said. “What did you want Erik?”

 

“Mama and Papa would like to see you,” Erik said looking apologetic.

 

Simon could see how unwell Wille was by the prospect of seeing his parents in this official setting. It was one thing to see them in private where he could say what he felt like, but here he had to act like a prince. Everybody's parents had an eye on him the whole time, after all. 

 

“Okay, very well,” Wille said with a sigh, taking Simon’s hand and starting to walk toward his parents who were talking with the headmistress. 

 

“Mama, Papa,”Wille greeted his parents. 

 

“Wilhelm!” The Queen exclaimed. “Congratulations on your diploma. Papa and I are very proud of you!” She brought Wille into a very fake hug. Wille was still holding Simon’s hand, so he only hugged her back with one arm. It was all very awkward. 

 

“Hello, Simon,” Ludvig greeted Simon. “Congratulations to you, too.”

 

“Umm, Thank you, your highness,” Simon said, unsure of himself. 

 

“Please, call me Ludvig” Ludvig said to Simon while the Queen sent him side-eye. Who would have known a Queen could do that? “I think we are well past titles when you are moving in with our son. Don’t you think so, Kristina?” 

 

The Queen looked like she was a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Simon knew she wanted to protest, but the headmistress was still standing beside them and Erik and Tindra were on their way over to them too. She had no other option than to say it would be okay. 

 

“I guess,” she said sternly. “Congratulations on your diploma too, Simon. Will you be studying after the summer vacation?” 

 

“Mama,” Wille complained, rolling his eyes.

 

“No, Your Majesty,” Simon said calmly. “I’ll be in the studio all summer and then I’ll release a new album before the end of the year. I’ll be working as a full-time artist.” 

 

“Hmm,” was the only answer the Queen gave him. She was clearly not happy about it. 

 

“I think it’s so exciting for you, Simon. I’m so proud of you and everything you have accomplished!” Wille said, clearly to push his mother’s buttons. “It’s amazing to see you do what you love!” he kissed Simon. Right in front of his parents. And the headmistress. And everybody else looking at them. 

 

Simon pulled away slowly feeling his head turn. “Wille, everybody is looking,” he whispered in panic. 

 

“I really don’t care, Simon,” Wille just said, pulling Simon into another hug. “I’m so proud of you and everything you have overcome and accomplished. I don’t want to hide that!”

 

He let go of Simon and Simon could breathe again. This was a bit overwhelming. Simon looked at the Queen. She was definitely ready to behead someone and deport Wille to another country. 

 

“I’m proud of you too, love,” Simon said, holding Wille’s hand and sending the Queen a challenging look. “I can’t wait for our life together!”

Notes:

You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 36: Chapter 36

Summary:

“Simon,” Wille looked straight into Simon’s eyes. “They don’t want to change their opinion of me. They will always think of me as a gay prince that damaged the crown’s reputation. It’s not like some of the younger Swedes - your fans. They do not care about any image. All they care about is that I’m true to myself or good for you or whatever.” 

Notes:

Lot's of kisses, interviews and every day nonsens <3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Summer was a busy time for Simon and Wille as well. They were invited to the midsummer party at Felice's place, but both of them had to decline. Wille had promised his parents that he would join them on the summer tour around Sweden while Simon was working nonstop on his new album and had a lot of shows and events he had to participate in throughout the summer. 

 

They were lucky, though. Twice while doing shows all over Sweden Simon's shows had overlapped with Wille’s schedule in the towns he was visiting. Even though neither of their teams were happy about the distraction, the two men had made it a priority to see each other when they were in the same town. 

 

They had first met in Göteborg where Simon was playing at a one-day festival. Wille had surprised him backstage after Simon’s performance and Simon hadn’t believed his own eyes when he first saw his boyfriend standing on the very side of the stage, cap on and all. Typically Wille would wear a cap like that when he wanted to keep a low profile. Wille hadn’t told Simon he would be there. Simon had known Wille would be in Göteborg, but Wille had made Simon believe that they couldn’t meet up because he had to attend a formal dinner or something like that.

 

So when the crowd screamed for an encore, Simon laughed and excitedly spoke into the microphone.

 

“Okay, okay. I have one last song for you tonight!” The audience went wild, screaming and howling at him. Simon looked to the side catching Wille’s eyes. “And after that I really need to go say hello to my boyfriend. He’s waiting right there,” Simon pointed towards the place where Wille was hidden from the audience. “And he and I are both very busy men, so I haven’t seen him in what feels like forever! Anyway, here is Jag e nån annan!” 

 

Simon could hear Wille cheer for him from the side as he sang his first single. He couldn’t help continuously throwing glances at Wille, smiling at the way he sang along to the lyrics. It was adorable and Simon really did have to concentrate to stay on the stage throughout the song and applause, even though all he wanted to do was run into his boyfriend’s arms. 

 

“Hey, you” Wille greeted Simon when he finally was able to run off the stage and into Wille’s arms. “I missed you so much!” 

 

Simon pecked Wille on the lips, smiling like crazy. “I missed you too, love.” 

 

They walked away from the stage area where some crew was in full swing readying the stage for the next artist. Of course they received some looks from the people working backstage, but it was not intruding looks only curious looks. After all, nobody had really been prepared for Wille to be there. 

 

“How are you?” Simon asked while they were walking hand-in-hand. How are things with your mother went unsaid. Simon knew that Wille would understand the implicit question.

 

“It’s getting better. We have found a way to work together without blowing up in each other’s faces every few minutes,” Wille tried to smile but the smile was fake and strained. “I know that I promised to go this year but some days it feels like it’s not worth it, you know?” 

 

“I'm not quite sure what you mean,” Simon answered honestly. “Explain it to me.” 

 

Wille looked around to make sure that nobody was listening in on their conversation. 

 

“It’s really tiring to always be polite and smile no matter how much or little energy I have. I need to seem interested in everything I’m told and sometimes I just don’t have the energy, Simon.” 

 

Simon stopped Wille and wrapped his arms around the prince’s torso. 

 

“Look,” Simon started, “Sometimes it is the exact same thing for me. I don’t always feel like getting up and going into the studio or meeting fans with a smile on the street. Sometimes I just want to get from A to B without anyone interfering in my business or trying to start a conversation with me.” 

 

“So you know what I’m talking about?” Wille concluded. 

 

“I do, Wille,’ Simon started, “But I also know that it’s a part of the job or something that at least comes with my profession.” 

 

“But it’s not my profession, Simon,” Wille complained. “Not really. It’s just something that is expected by my family.”

 

Simon let go of Wille and walked into the backstage tent, which was only meant for the artists and their crew. Wille followed him without anyone questioning him why he was with Simon or what he was doing there.

 

“Then do something meaningful with the attention you've been getting since birth. Just like you did with that suicide non-profit, use the attention you get to do something meaningful and make that your job,” Simon said as they sat down on a sofa.

 

“Since when have you grown into a wise adult?” Wille teased. “But you have a point. I enjoyed working with that non-profit organization and would love to do more of that kind of stuff, promote important topics and stuff…” 

 

“But?” Simon asked and placed a hand on Wille’s thigh.

 

“But sometimes I feel like I have no say in what I have to do. I know this summer tour has been planned for a long time, but visiting a retirement home together with Mama and Papa is not meaningful for me. I get that the old people find it important to meet Mama and Papa, but me… for most of them I’m still the wild, reckless, gay prince.” 

 

“Then change their perception of you!” Simon pushed. 

 

“Simon,” Wille looked straight into Simon’s eyes. “They don’t want to change their opinion of me. They will always think of me as a gay prince that damaged the crown’s reputation. It’s not like some of the younger Swedes - your fans. They do not care about any image. All they care about is that I’m true to myself or good for you or whatever.” 

 

“Don’t forget the fans that want us to break up!” Simon replied, sarcastically while rolling his eyes. “Wille, inform your PR team that you want to change your image so to speak. Tell them about what you want to represent and let them run their numbers. I don’t believe it will be that bad.” 

 

“But—” Wille tried to protest. 

 

“No, you are an adult, Wille.” Simon placed his hands on Wille’s shoulders. “Be the man you want to be, do what you feel strongly about. Let Sweden see you as I know you! Strong and funny and caring and so beautiful!” 

 

Wille kissed Simon right there and it took Simon by surprise. Both of them hadn’t been the best when it came to mental health, public displays of affection, and so on for the last 6 months. Moods and wellbeing change from day-to-day. The only thing they were sure of was the two of them and their love and trust in each other. 

 

“Please tell me that you have a hotel room close by!” Wille whispered when he moved away from their kiss. Simon nodded, smiling goofily at Wille. He had a room for another night before he was going back to Stockholm the next day after a radio interview. 

 

“Good morning! You are listening to P4 Göteborg and if you are on your way out in the beautiful Swedish summer I would advise you to just wait a bit because with us today we have Sweden’s very own Simon Eriksson! Good morning Simon,” Björn, the radio host said into the mic a little too excited. 

 

“Hey, good morning,” Simon greeted, politely. “Thank you for having me!” he smiled even though it was only the radio host who could see him. His mind was somewhere else and no matter how much he tried he couldn’t fully concentrate on what was being said to him.

 

“You have been touring Sweden this summer. Yesterday you played here in Göteborg. How was that?” 

 

“It was amazing. The crowd was so supportive and had a great energy!” Simon said. He had forgotten all about the gig after Wille and he had gone back to the hotel, shutting themselves in Simon’s room. 

 

As soon as they were alone Wille had been all over Simon. Ravishing his lips greedily and eagerly. Simon had met him with as much eagerness not even pausing their making out to get air.  

 

“You just took Studenten and now you're on the road. Did you have any time to celebrate at all?” Björn asked, not knowing what scenario played inside Simon’s head.

 

“Yeah, that’s right,” Simon said, clearing his throat. “I had some time to celebrate, but things are a bit different at Hillerska because the students come from all over Sweden. One of my friends is actually from New York but went to Hillerska, so we don't do the thing where we drive around in a truck and visit each other's parents.” 

 

Wille had been quick to strip Simon of his clothes - still the same ones he had worn on stage. He had turned his kisses away from Simon’s mouth, leaving Simon longing for his lips once more, in order to bite and suck on Simon’s neck, collarbone and jawline. It had made Simon’s skin tingle with want and need and something more, Simon couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

 

“Wille,” he heard himself call out into the air.

 

“Mmm, I’m right here, love,” Wille had whispered into Simon’s neck before sucking on the very spot his words had just caressed. Simon was sure it would leave a mark that everybody would be able to see. He didn’t care. 

 

"What do you do then?" Björn asked, sounding generally interested. 

 

“Well, we rented a venue in Stockholm and then had a party there. We drove from the school to Stockholm in a bus we also had rented for the evening. It was fun.” Simon smiled nervously. He didn’t want to tell too much about that night. Everybody had been drunk off their asses and things had been broken and nobody had cared because someone's mom or dad would probably pay for the damage that had been done. Simon had been disgusted by some of his peers’ careless behavior. 

 

“Well that sounds expensive,” Björn opted to say. 

 

“Well, that’s Hillerska,” Simon said apologetically. 

 

“So beside that, have you had time to celebrate?” the host continued to probe. 

 

“No, not really. As you mentioned I play all over Sweden this Summer. I have some gigs in the rest of Europe too throughout the festival season and then I’m also working on a brand new album,” Simon told the host and the listeners. 

 

Wille had pushed Simon towards the bed, easily making Simon crawl up into it while looking at Wille undress himself. After getting rid of his clothes Wille had crawled onto the bed  straddling Simon. 

 

“What do you want from me?” Wille then asked, taking Simon by surprise. 

 

“W-what?” Simon had asked breathlessly. 

 

“Tell me what you want from me, love,” Wille said once more. 

 

Simon had to close his eyes for a moment to ground himself and gain some kind of self control. 

 

“I would like…” Why was he feeling all shy now? It wasn’t like they hadn’t explored what they liked before. They knew each other so well. 

 

“I would like you to take me apart and put me back together again,” Simon finally whispered, looking nervously at Wille. Wille was nothing but a soft, loving smile. He moved closer to Simon, almost kissing his lips before turning away from them only to start nibbling at his collarbone and chest. Each touch from Wille sent a wave of electricity and something more, much more, through Simon’s body. It was silly, they had only been apart for two stupid weeks and yet here Simon was, craving Wille’s touch like never before. 

 

“Okay, a brand new album! That sounds exciting!” Björn continued, not knowing where Simon’s thoughts were at the moment. “But recording an album while touring most of Europe for festivals must be really demanding. How do you manage?” 

 

“Ohh, I have a really good team behind me,” Simon tried to explain. Wille had been behind him last night too, pushing himself into him with ease. Like they were made to fit with each other. “Songwriters, PR assistance, a manager, and a really awesome label who knows how to do all of this. It really is all on them!” 

 

“That is great to hear!” the host smiled. “And what about your private life? Family and friends. Is there still room for them in your busy schedule?” He left the word boyfriend unsaid but the implicit meaning of the question was still lingering in the air around them. 

 

“I saw my sister yesterday. She moved to Göteborg after graduating and I text and call my Mama all the time. We have a really close relationship, all three of us, which is something I appreciate a lot,” Simon answered. 

 

“And your friends?” Börn pushed Simon for an answer.

 

“My friends are always just a text away or something like that. Of course it’s not the same as seeing them and hanging out, but we keep in touch as much as we can. I really wouldn’t be as successful without them either. My best friends knew me before I started at Hillerska and before my music was released. Those two are some of the people who know me the best and I always remember to keep them up to date and vice versa.”

 

Do you trust me, Simon?” Wille had asked, stopping his soft kissing in order to look Simon directly in the eyes. 

 

“Yes, of course I do, Wille,” Simon had blurted, finding the question strange. Wille knew Simon trusted him with his whole existence. And he told Wille that, which earned him a loving smile in return. 

 

“Okay, I want to try something. I’ve been thinking about it for some time but… Just stop me if it’s not something you like,” Wille looked at him with a sudden concern in his eyes. 

 

“What do you have in mind, Wille?” Simon asked, his curiosity peaked. 

 

“Just promise to stop me, if you need me to, okay?” Wille repeated.

 

“Okay,” Simon agreed and looked at Wille with big eyes as the prince climbed down from Simon and the bed to collect a silky scarf that Simon had been wearing the day before. 

 

“Please sit up and turn around,” Wille asked softly. Simon did as he was told, breath caught in his throat. 

 

As the soft fabric caressed his skin goosebumps appeared everywhere on Simon’s body. The scarf was securely tightened around his head, blocking his vision in the most delicate way. A soft kiss was placed just behind his left ear followed by a whisper praising his beauty. 

 

“Multiple fans have been reporting on social media that Prince Wilhelm was present after the performance you gave yesterday, some even have videos where they swear that it’s easy to see when you are looking at him. Is that true?” Björn pierced through Simon’s thoughts. 

 

“Ohh, umm. Both yes and no. He only got there for the encore, but I had no idea he would be there. He had told me that he was supposed to attend a dinner or something like that,” Simon smiled, remembering how surprised he had been when he first saw Wille standing just outside the stage. 

 

“I would like to apologize beforehand if I overstep now, but is that normal behavior? Him changing plans for what fits him best?” Björn looked concerned. He was clearly one of those who didn’t like the relationship Wille and Simon had, Simon thought for himself. 

 

“My relationship with my partner or our dynamics do not concern anyone else but the two of us, but now that you have brought it up I would very much like to say some things,” Simon pushed on, feeling a sudden need to protect his boyfriend, partner, lifepartner? “Wilhelm and I have known each other since we were 16 years old. He is the most gentle and caring souI I have ever met. He always puts others first, himself second. I can assure you, and everyone else listening in, that yesterday when he showed up at the show, it was a pleasant and much-appreciated surprise. Wille, I mean Wilhelm, took time off from his work to see me even though it was only for a couple of hours, before needing to get back to work and attend the summer tour he’s on together with the Queen and Prince Consort.”

 

“Okay, we just assumed…” Björn tried to take control of the interview again, but it was for naught. Simon was on his defensive game. 

 

“And Wilhelm had even less time to celebrate graduating from Hillerska because he needed to attend official engagements as soon as school ended. And he does that without thinking of the things or experiences he misses. Experiences that every other young person in  Sweden just thinks of as a given thing. Something that you simply can’t miss. But Wilhelm constantly misses out on those things because he feels obligated to his family and their role in Swedish society.” Simon took a deep breath, feeling tears threatening to spill and his voice threatening to break. “Wille does not take advantage of anybody, least of all me! Wille is the best thing in my life and the only constant that I can rely on always being there for me no matter what time of day I call or how silly a problem I have. He respects me and loves me unconditionally, and I respect and love him just as much!” 

 

A tear rolled down Simon’s face. He would get in so much trouble both with his manager and the Royal Court for saying this on live radio, but he just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Why couldn’t the world see how beautiful a relationship they had. How much they adored each other. 

 

“Okay,” Björn seemed lost for a moment before collecting himself and continuing with the interview. “The lyrics on your first album were very personal, can we expect your new songs to be that as well?” 

 

“As I said before, I have a lot on my plate right now and a lot of people are helping me. That includes song writers.” Simon wiped away a stray tear. “It doesn’t mean that I can’t relate to what I release, but everything won’t be my own ideas alone.” 

 

Wille’s hand was around SImon’s neck creating a soft pressure that made Simon aware of his situation - of how vulnerable he was in Wille’s soft caress. And soft was just the right word to use, Wille working himself in and out of Simon at an unbearably slow speed, making Simon want more, but Wille didn’t comply with Simon's request immediately. He kept his slow pace, a firm hand around Simon’s neck, while peppering his back in small kisses, whispering the most beautiful words to Simon.    

 

The second time they met that summer was 3 weeks later when they were both in Uppsala. Wille was visiting the university, looking all kinds of gorgeous in his suit. At least that's what Simon could see from the pictures and videos circling online of his boyfriend. Simon himself had a show at Uppsala Culture House where he would play a gig together with Clara. It had been a long time since they had gotten the chance to actually hang out together, so he was looking forward to seeing his friend and spending some time with her. 

 

Most of the day went by quickly with sound checks and what not at the venue, but they had some time together around lunch where they could huddle together just the two of them like they had done two summers ago when they were playing together. 

 

“So, how is living together?” Clara asked with a smile.

 

“We haven’t actually gotten the chance to be in the apartment that much,” Simon revealed. “I’ve used it every time I’m in Stockholm and my address is there now, but ever since graduating we have both been on the road.” 

 

“Mmm, I know the feeling,” Clara hummed. “Manfred and I barely see each other in the summer with all the festivals while I feel like I did nothing but see him all this winter. It’s like summertime is just an unspoken busy time for artists.”

 

“Hey, we shouldn’t complain,” Simon smiled. “Both of us are booked and doing well. There are so many who would kill for the life we are living right now.” 

 

“True,” Clara agreed before taking a bite of her sandwich. “How’s his family with all of this?”

 

“They are not delighted but things have happened and now they kind of are okay with everything, I guess,” Simon shrugged. 

 

“What happened?” Clara asked, concerned. 

 

“Wille gave the dear Queen a piece of his mind in the middle of the graduation at Hillerska,” Simon simply said before changing the subject. 

 

This time around Wille actually had a late night event to attend and even though Simon and Clara played in the evening Simon was the one who finished first. Wille had assured him that Jan-Olof knew he was coming to the hotel the royals were staying at and Wille had arranged for a car to pick up Simon after the show. At the hotel lobby Simon was greeted by a stern looking Jan-Olof.

 

“Simon,” he nodded towards Simon as a greeting. “This way please.” 

 

Simon didn’t say anything. He had nothing to say to that man really and they were way past polite small talk at this point. 

 

Simon was shown to a room at the very top of the hotel and when the door opened it revealed a big room. It was clearly bigger than the normal standard room, but was after all just a room and not a suite with a sitting area and whatnot. He walked in and was left alone immediately with only a reminder to stay inside the room. He dropped his bag beside the door and went into the room. The bed was nicely made and everything was standing like it was untouched. Simon wondered how much time Wille had actually spent in this very room, probably not much. A big suitcase was nicely placed on a big bench, suits were hanging on hangers and a collection of dress shirts were spread out on a desk. Simon went over to the suitcase and opened it hesitantly. Inside he saw a t-shirt that was carelessly balled together. He picked it up and smelled it. It was clearly a used shirt but Simon didn’t care. It smelled like Wille, his Wille. He quickly pulled off his own lace shirt and put on Wille’s used shirt, lingering in the familiar smell of his Wille. 

 

As he looked around the room he didn’t know what to do with himself. He didn’t know when Wille would be there and he hadn’t considered asking him. Without anything better to do he crawled into the big bed and tugged the sheets around himself. He was tired after a long day of rehearsals and performing, so he decided that he would just rest his eyes for a short minute. 

 

Simon was awoken by a hand stroking through his hair and the feeling of a body sinking down in the bed next to him. “Shhh, it’s just me,” Wille’s familiar voice whispered into Simon’s ear. “I just got back.” 

 

“Hmph,” Simon mumbled, not quite awake yet. There was a soft kiss on his neck, another one on his shoulder. 

 

“Are you wearing my shirt?” Wille asked, softly.

 

“Missed you,” Simon mumbled into the dark room, letting his hand search for Wille’s. Wille was quick to notice what Simon was trying to do and caught his hand and tangled their fingers, spooning Simon who was still half asleep. 

 

“I missed you too, Simon,” Wille sighed, placing his head in the crook of Simon’s neck. 

 

“How was your day?” Simon asked, sleepily. 

 

“Long, don’t want to talk about it right now though. Yours?” Wille asked, nuzzling his nose into Simon’s hair. 

 

“Same,” Simon said, more awake now. He slowly turned around to face his boyfriend. 

 

“Hey,” he then smiled at Wille. He was still wearing his suit. 

 

“Hey,” Wille smiled back.

 

“You want to get out of that suit of yours?” Simon asked.

 

“I just want to be near you right now,” Wille answered, sending Simon his biggest puppy eyes. 

 

“Wille, listen to what I say,” Simon tried once more. “I want you out of those clothes!”

 

“Ohh,” Wille only replied before stripping out of his clothes in a not so elegant way. 

 

“Remember the socks!” Simon teased as he took care of his clothes too. 

 

“Shut up, Simon,” Wille shot back before tackling Simon down in the bed and placing himself on top of him. “I love  you, Simon!”

 

“I love you too, Wille,” Simon instantly replied before leaning up to capture Wille’s lips in a soft kiss. 

 

Some time later after they both had showered and were lying in bed again, Wille took a deep breath and Simon knew something important was about to be said. 

 

“I talked to Mama and Papa about having a say in what I participate in,” Wille started. Simon didn’t say anything, just nodded and pressed his back closer to Wille’s chest, holding his hands just a tiny bit tighter. “They were somewhat okay with it. It’s not everything we can choose ourselves - I knew that. But I can be an advocate for a non-profit or two while still studying.” 

 

“That sounds great, Wille,” Simon smiled. “Have you thought about which non-profits you want to work with?” Simon kissed Wille’s hand.

 

“I want to keep working with with Rescue Suicide. Mama has already arranged for our secretary to contact them and set up an appointment,” Wille answered, sounding excited. 

“I’m really proud of you for doing this, Wille,” Simon hummed. “You can do so much good with this.” 

 

“I really believe that too!” Wille agreed before going back to cuddle Simon. 

The fall came quickly, taking Simon by surprise. He felt like he hadn’t had any time off since their short trip to London and everything was taking a toll on him. Wille had started at the university in September and even though it took some time for the other students to get used to him, Wille really enjoyed his studies. It was clear to see that Simon’s prince was thriving in their current everyday and it made Simon so happy even though he himself was so tired all the time.

 

He had been traveling back and forth between London and Stockholm to record his album, doing photoshoots, and even shot a music video. It had all felt very unfamiliar to him even though this was his second time working on an album. The traveling back and forth was tiring, and so was the constant changing of his calendar. It was only when they reached the end of October that Simon felt like he could breathe again for a while. He would have some time between October and December. His album was set to be released in December. It was nice knowing he had the time off to spend together with Wille, to visit his mom back in Bjärstad, and to visit Sara and Sophia too - and August. How could he forget about August who Sara was now living with. He was still insufferable, but Simon understood that Sara somehow - and he really didn’t know why - she adored him and loved him in her own way. 

SimonErikssonOfficial I did not know I was going to be a man living in an apartment filled with plants. Yet here I am. What is the most unexpected thing that has happened in your life?

PinkyBlond We miss you at Hillerska <3<3<3

SimonsBFF OMG! I love this room! Your style is just spot on!

ThatWOne Are plants the most unexpected thing in your life? 

whiskyandrum I love this so much. I bet it’s you who has to keep everything alive!

 

After his terrible interview in P4 Göteborg that same summer Simon had gotten strict instructions on how to use his socials. He was not going to cause an uproar amongst his fans like he did with that interview. It had taken much work from his PR team's side to calm down all the angry fans and royalists, and the royal PR team hadn’t been happy either. Now Simon was trying to create a connection with his audience by letting them have a look into his everyday life. Everybody who knew something about PR thought that would be the right way for him to go. So Simon found himself posting cryptic pictures of their living room, cans of soda and restaurant outings. 

 

So far it had worked quite well. He gained followers and his numbers on Spotify kept increasing, so everything was as it should be. Simon just needed to rest until the album release and then he would be fine too! 

 

Rosh visited him in the start of November, staying in Stockholm for a week. They hadn't seen each other since that summer, Rosh being busy working her ass off to save money for traveling. Simon was really excited to see her again, bossing Wille around their apartment to make it look nice and presentable for her arrival. Wille had laughed at him saying Rosh most likely didn’t care about their decor. She would much rather just hang with Simon, but Simon didn’t care. She was the first real guest in their home. 

 

“Who lives here?” Rosh asked after Simon had showed her around the apartment. 

 

“What do you mean?” Simon had asked while Wille only snickered at him. 

 

“It’s so clean and neat!” Rosh continued. “Don’t tell me that it’s your doing. It has to be the Prince!” 

 

“Don’t call him that,” Simon quickly added. “And what do you mean by that?!”

 

“Your room has always been a mess with piles of stuff everywhere,” Rosh said, looking at Simon with a raised eyebrow. 

 

Wille was full on laughing now. “I did tell you she didn’t care about how tidy the apartment would look like, love.”

 

“Don’t you have important school stuff to do or something?” Simon asked his boyfriend, a bit annoyed. Rosh started laughing. 

 

“No, nothing important to do!” Wille laughed, plopping down on the sofa. “Want to watch something, Rosh?” 

 

“Sure,” Rosh said, smiling at Simon who stood back in the living room pouting. He really shouldn’t but he did. 

 

He dropped down on the sofa after a while when Rosh and Wille had shown no sign of getting up again. They were watching a comedy show on Netflix. It wasn’t that funny, but it helped pass the time.

 

“Ohh come on Simon,” Rosh exclaimed after a while. “Stop looking like a spoiled child.” 

 

“I think he looks cute like that,” Wille commented, “All moody and pouting."

 

“It doesn’t count. You are his boyfriend,” Rosh started. “Boyfriends should always think the other one looks fucking cute when pouting like that!”

 

“I can think of other ways he would look cute too!” Wille was quick to say before Simon cut in. 

 

“Wille! You are supposed to be on my side here!” Simon complained. 

 

“I'm complimenting your moody look, Simon” Wille said back. “What is wrong with that?” 

 

“It’s just… It’s giving me a headache,” Simon muttered. “And Rosh. I happen to like living in a tidy place. Big surprise huh?” He could feel his heart beating like crazy in his chest. His head hurts and he didn’t feel very well overall. He tried to calm his heartbeat down by rubbing a hand to his chest as Wille had done so many times in school, but it didn’t help. He could feel Wille’s eye linger on him. 

 

“Are you okay, Simon?” Wille finally asked, before moving around the sofa to get over to Simon.  Kneeling down beside him, Wille placed his hand on Simon's lap. “Is there anything I can do?” 

 

“No just… I need to relax,” Simon answered. “I don’t feel that well right now.” 

 

“Well, then lay your sorry ass on the sofa and enjoy the show,” Rosh cut in. It was clear by looking at her face that she was worried too, but she tried to play it cool and Simon was grateful for that. 

 

They ended up ordering some döner kebab for them to eat in the evening. Nobody felt up for any cooking. Wille and Rosh kept sending Simon worried looks. Simon chose not to comment on it. He couldn't explain why he was so tired all the time and feeling so unwell. He just was. 

 

It was nice to have Rosh over, but Simon continued to feel unwell throughout the week. They didn’t do much, chilled in town, caught up on what was happening in each other's lives, and gamed a bit. Everything was very normal, but Simon was still experiencing an increasing pressure in his chest and his headaches got worse by the day.

 

As soon as Rosh left to go back to Bjärstad Wille had cornered Simon, face full of concern. 

 

“I think you should call the doctor, Simon,” Wille said with an authoritative voice. “You are not getting better and a chest that hurts so often can’t be anything good. I’m really concerned about you.”

 

Simon looked at Wille. He was so tired that he didn’t have it in him to argue. He just nodded and promised that he would call the doctor first thing Monday before walking into Wille’s personal space, hugging him tightly. Wille hugged him back without any questions before leading him to their sofa. They stayed on it, cuddled up until both of them fell asleep. 

SimonErikssonOfficial Had the best week together with my friend who was visiting from Bjärstad. There’s nothing like best friends <3

 

Rosh <3

FeliceE You guys look so cozy!

PinkyBlond You should come say hello to your old friends at Hillerska

Frederika_woop You were never his friend Maria - drop the act!

PinkyBlond What do you know about that! We spent a lot of time together fyi

Frederika_woop Only because you had to….

 

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Simon was suffering from stress. It turned out that the constant headache, chest pains, and fatigue were all stress-related. The doctor said that she believed that he had worked himself too hard for too long, never really taking a break to look out for himself. Simon explained his upcoming schedule to the doctor and how he couldn’t take time off when he was about to release an album in a month's time. The doctor listened to him and they came up with a plan that would, hopefully, steady Simon’s life.

 

“How did it go?” Wille asked that evening when they were eating supper. They hadn’t talked about the doctor's appointment all day, and Simon was grateful for that, but he also knew that Wille was concerned for him and probably needed some answers. 

 

“The doctor says that it’s all stress-related,” Simon started, looking down at his plate. “That I haven’t had the time to relax and unwind since like, maybe since I met you.” 

 

“Ohh,” Wille just said, sounding unsure of himself. 

 

“Not that there's anything wrong with meeting you, Wille,” Simon quickly added. “There have just been so many changes and stuff through the last three years that my mind hasn’t had the time to catch up or something.” 

 

“What can we do about it?” Wille proceeded to ask.

 

“Well, I made it clear that I can't take time off from working on my music,” Simon looked at Wille who nodded in understanding. “Instead we made a list of things I can do to help myself and stuff. First of all I need to take a walk every day to clear my head, and I need to do some kind of work out or something a couple times a week. She also suggested that I stop using my social media for a while, but I can’t do that because that’s how my music is promoted…”

 

“Okay, okay. I hear you,” Wille eagerly responded. “But walks every day and a trip to the gym a few times a week sounds reasonable and something that can be managed.” 

 

Simon hummed in agreement. 

 

“She told me that there is something like good stress and bad stress. Apparently a mild level of stress can actually encourage people to behave in a more active way, while an excessive level of stress can hamper performance. I’m in the last category right now, I guess.” 

 

“Hey, it’s okay, love,” Wille kept going. “You’ll get through it. Do you think you should speak with Daniel about it?” 

 

“Hmm, I probably should. It just seems so unimportant, don’t you think?” Simon mumbled. “Like, he has a lot on his plate already.”

 

“But you are his artist. He would like to know something like this, Simon.” Wille continued. “Should I contact him for you?” 

 

“Wouldn’t that be weird?” Simon wondered. 

 

“Not if it’s what you need,” Wille continued. “I’ll call him tomorrow and have a chat with him. You should relax. You look so tired and pale all the time. It worried me.” 

December came in no time and so did Simon’s album release. He had gotten a better hold on himself. It wasn’t perfect yet, he still had days with a raging headache and a heart threatening to jump out of his chest, but he also had days where he felt somewhat okay. 

With the release came press appearances, interviews, and small performances on tv. It was manageable having been planned well by Simon’s manager. Simon felt okay with everything he was doing and even though he was busy, he still had time to breathe and be himself. And he had some time off for Christmas and New Years. He had some minor appearances between the two celebrations, but it was nothing that bothered him much. Most of all he was just very excited about getting to play and perform again. He really loved that. 

 

  

SimonErikssonOfficial I’ll be on Rix FM’s morning show in less than 30 minutes talking about my new album Second Chance. Be sure to listen in!

 

FeliceE Can’t wait to hear your voice again boo <3

ThatWOne Best morning ever!

PinkyBlond The teachers will not let us listen to the morning show. Why couldn’t you pick the afternoon show or something. Think of us!

 

 

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Wilhelm was equally busy throughout December having very little time for his studies, which wasn’t good with the upcoming exams. But to Simon’s surprise he managed his obligations without much trouble. Erik and Tindra represented the Royal Family at the Nobel Prize Celebrations, and all five of them were present at the Lucia event in front of Storkyrkan. They were also present at the Christmas concert, “ Jul i Vasastan.”

 

This year Simon went to the concert too. Not together with Wille, that was still not allowed, but together with Clara and Manfred. He had always dreamt of watching that concert and now that it was actually happening, but he had a hard time concentrating on the singing. His mind kept slipping back to their first December when they had just started dating and Wille had told him how much he didn’t want to go. Simon had been so envious of Wille and how he didn’t appreciate how lucky he was that he got to listen to this beautiful ensemble every year. Now Simon was here himself–only three years after their frantic texts back and forth. So much had changed and yet they were still just Wille and Simon–two boys stupidly in love. 

 

(Just a little pic of the floor plan of their apartment)

Notes:

You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 37: Chapter 37

Summary:

Simon had thought that living together with Wille would lead to endless nights of cuddles and sex and making sure to look good for the other person, but as he lay in bed trying to fall asleep he realized how wrong that picture of them had been.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

New Year's Eve was spent together with their friends. They had taken it upon themselves to host a small party in their own apartment. To make it easy on themselves they had ordered food from a nearby restaurant that made ready-to-eat dinners for the last day of the year. 

 

Felice was the first person to arrive at their apartment having promised to help set up the table and decorate their place. Simon was grateful for her help. He felt overwhelmed by the prospect of hosting a party even though he looked forward to seeing all of their friends again. 

When Felice arrived it was with a large bottle of champagne and a huge bag full of party supplies. 

 

“Hello, sweethearts!” Felice’s voice was heard from the entrance all the way to the office where Simon was. “I’ve brought something to drink while decorating and a bunch of pretty, sparkly decorations. We are going with black and gold this year!”

 

Simon peeked his head out into the hallway. 

 

“I didn’t know we had a color theme,” he smiled at her. “Hey, Felice.” 

 

“Hello, Simon,” Felice said as she smiled, handed Wille her stuff, and took off her coat. “We didn’t agree to anything, but I know the two of you by now and neither of you would have thought of decorations. So I took it upon myself to handle that.” 

 

“Thanks, Felice,” Wille said shyly. She was right; they really hadn’t thought of any kind of decorations. 

 

“Okay, let’s get this place shined up and ready for a party,” Felice hummed excitedly and walked into the living room. 

 

Simon sighed suddenly feeling overwhelmed by another presence in their apartment. He was used to Wille. He found it comforting knowing he had Wille around, but the energy Felice brought today was just so much . And Simon didn’t feel like doing much.

 

“Simon, are you okay?” Wille hurried over to Simon, caressing his cheek in a loving manner. 

 

“Just tired,” Simon sighed, moving his head closer to Wille’s touch. It felt nice being taken care of like that. Even though it was just a simple gesture it meant so much to Simon. 

 

“Go lie down a bit, love,” Wille kissed Simon on his curls. “I'll go explain to Felice. I would rather that you have some energy for tonight so you can enjoy our evening with our friends than have you burned out before dinner.” 

 

He kissed Simon tenderly before easing him toward their bedroom. Simon tiptoed towards the bedroom. He could use a nap before he had to get ready himself. 

 

Simon had thought that living together with Wille would lead to endless nights of cuddles and sex and making sure to look good for the other person, but as he lay in bed trying to fall asleep he realized how wrong that picture of them had been.

 

Being in a super comfortable, committed relationship with Wille had led to an extreme disinterest in “trying to impress” from Simon’s side. Especially now when he was burned out, all of his attention shifted to “how can I be as comfortable as possible at all times?”

It wasn’t because he didn’t like Wille any longer, and it wasn’t because he didn't desire Wille as much as he had at Hillerska. They were just so comfortable together that none of it mattered anymore. 

 

It was the small things like Wille touching his face, giving him something to lean on that mattered now. Those small everyday things like, Wille making coffee in the morning, going out with the trash without being asked to, hugging Simon randomly, or kissing his curls whenever they stood side-by-side. It was those small mundane things that made Simon’s heart race like crazy.

 

When Simon woke up again it was to soft kisses along his jawline, arms wrapping around him, and a soothing scent of pure Wille.

 

“Time to wake up, love,” Wille’s voice was heard in the dark bedroom.

 

Simon didn’t feel like waking up and facing the mayhem their New Year’s party surely would become, but he turned around and opened his eyes to look at Wille. 

 

“Hey,” Simon whispered in a sleepy voice. “What time is it?”

 

“It’s 4 PM, love,” Wille kissed his forehead. “You should have enough time to get ready. The others will arrive around 6 PM - remember?” 

 

Simon smiled at Wille. How in the world had he landed a boyfriend this caring and soft? 

 

“Mmm, don’t know what to wear though,” Simon mumbled, hiding his face in Wille’s soft chest. 

 

“Let me help you! What are you in the mood for?” Wille smiled down at Simon’s curls.

 

“Something party-like? I don’t know,” Simon sighed before finally sitting up and turning on the bedside light. 

 

“Okay,” Wille said while jumping down from the bed and walking towards their closet. “Turn on the light and I’ll try to navigate your clothes and find something you like.” He sent Simon a reassuring smile which made his heart skip a beat. 

 

Simon regarded Wille while the Prince dug through the closet, looking at pants and shirts and t-shirts and everything else before he finally turned around looking pleased with what he had found.

 

“Here, try this,” Wille said, excited. “I'll go to the bathroom and change. My clothes are already out there.”

 

Then Simon was left alone in their bedroom. Lazily he started to change from his sweatpants and comfort hoodie and into the clothes Wille had chosen for him before walking into the living room to see what Felice and Wille had done with the decorations.

—-

 

Felice and Wille had done wonders to their living room, which now looked like a sparkling jungle covered in gold and black tones.

 

“Omg, what have you done to our living room?” Simon exclaimed when he had taken it all in.

 

“Isn’t it pretty?” Felice smiled. 

 

Simon was at a loss for words. The room did not look like the comfortable, relaxed, boho, plant paradise they had made it into. Plants were removed, and balloons were added. Lots of balloons in gold, black, and metallic silver, and the table was set and decorated with a black tablecloth and so many decorations that it made Simon dizzy just looking at it. There were fairy lights in all of the big plants and black, shimmery, glitter curtains had been hung over the normal curtains. 

 

“It’s…It’s something,” Simon finally muttered. “You go all out when you do this kind of stuff.” 

 

“I just want it to look pretty for all the pictures we are going to take,” Felice tried to explain. 

 

“Pictures?” Simon asked, confused. 

 

“Yeah, you know,” Felice continued. “It’s the first time that we are actually together on New Year's Eve and I have a feeling that Henry has something important to ask Stella tonight!” 

 

“Is Henry going to propose!” Wille squealed from the entrance to the room. 

 

Felice smiled at him like crazy while nodding.

 

“How do you know?” Wille asked while walking towards Simon, hugging him from behind. 

 

“Okay so. You can't tell this to anybody!” Felice started. “Walter might have helped Henry pick a ring and then forgotten that Stella couldn’t know because those three do everything together.”

 

“Yeah, we know that already,” Wille smirked, earning him a soft slap on the arm from Simon. 

 

“Just listen! Walter told Stella about the trip to the jeweler and Stella of course told that to Frederika who called Maddison and me the same night!” Felice finished. 

 

“Why are we always the last couple to know everything?” Simon asked, only slightly annoyed.

 

“You two are always too busy with your own stuff. And I am telling you this now, aren’t I? Before everybody arrives. So now we all know what's going to happen tonight, but we are still going to act surprised and happy because Henry doesn’t know what we know.” 

 

Simon rolled his eyes. How was this even his life? How had he gotten friends like this? 

 

It wasn’t long before their apartment was filled with their friends chatting and joking with each other. They hadn’t all been together since they graduated from Hillerska, so there was a lot to catch up on. Felice had dived head-first into her college degree in social media management. She still lived in Stockholm in her parent’s house, but they were barely home anyway so it made no difference for her. She had been dating quite a lot since moving back to Stockholm, but none of the men she went out with met her criteria so she was still, not quite happily, single. 

 

Frederika had been accepted to a college in Paris where she studied architecture. Simon would never have guessed it was something that she was into even though they were friends, but it turned out that she was really clever behind her pretty girl facade. She still kept in contact with Rosh, but things between them had hit the brakes when Frederika moved away. Now they were only in touch on a friendly basis. 

 

When it came to Henry, Stella, and Walter, things were a bit more complicated. Stella was from Göteborg and lived there for the first few months after graduation, just like August and Sara, but both Henry and Walter were from the northern part of Sweden. All three of them had decided on a gap year not knowing what they wanted to study and by late October, they had decided to move in together - in Stockholm. Now they lived in an apartment with two bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, and a small bathroom – not much bigger than Simon and Wille’s apartment. Simon had no intention of asking how the dynamics were between them now, but he concluded that Henry was still smitten with Stella somehow. He had planned a proposal after all. That left Walter alone, and Simon strongly believed that nobody had thought of him in this whole proposal scenario. Was he still expected to live together with Stella and Henry? Was he supposed to be a part of their relationship too or? Simon didn't know and just thinking about it made his head spin. He was happy he only lived together with Wille and that they were exclusive. 

 

The party food was eaten together with plenty of wine and when they reached the dessert everyone – except Simon – was well on their way to being more than just a bit tipsy. By the time they had finished their dessert and somewhat cleaned the table, they moved the party to the sofa area where Frederika and Stella happily poured them all (except Simon) some shots while Simon found some music to play.

 

Somehow they decided it would be a good idea to play Twister because of course, Stella had brought that game along with her. It turned out that the old Manor House girls often had played all sorts of games while drinking in hiding back at Hillerska, and that this was their party ritual or something like that. Simon didn’t quite understand everything they said because they were all talking, or more like shouting, at the same time. He graciously offered to be the one spinning the arrow so the girls, Felice, Stella, and Frederika could go play Twister. It wasn’t long before Wille snuggled up against Simon on the sofa, resting his head on Simon’s shoulder. 

 

“Right hand on red,” Simon said out loud before being captured in a small kiss from Wille. 

 

“Iiiii really likes you, Simon!” Wille whispered, quite loudly. Simon laughed at his drunk boyfriend. 

 

“And I like you too, Wille,” Simon replied with a smile. “Left foot on green!” 

 

“Iiiii want to build a house with you! NO! I want to build a castle with you!” Wille continued his ramble.

 

“That sounds lovely, Wille,” Simon answered simultaneously while watching the girls trying to move their limbs to the right color.

 

“You would look pretty in a castle. Not one like Mama’s castles but our own castle,” Wille said.

 

“Right leg on blue!” Simon yelled out into the room. 

 

“I would like to build you a castle, Simon,” Wille mumbled, lowering his voice. “I would like to build you a million castles with beautiful furniture and pianos in every room but also a lot of plants because plants are good. Plants are healthy!”

 

“Sure they are, Wille,” Simon just agreed. 

 

“Why would you need any more castles?” Walter interrupted them.

 

“Right leg on red!” Simon yelled to the girls giggling on the floor. 

 

“Because Simon deserves all the castles in the world!” Wille said, sounding offended. 

 

“Relax, love. I’m sure you can provide me with beautiful castles,” Simon said to Wille, stroking his hand along Wille’s hair. 

 

“You hear that Walter! I can provide!” Wille said triumphantly. 

 

“Ohh, I bet you can,” Frederika’s voice was heard from the floor before the girls’ giggles filled the room again. 

 

“Yeah, well I can!” Wille said, sitting up on the sofa a bit more straight. “I’ll let you know that Simon has never ever complained about how I provide for him!” 

 

“Shh, love,” Simon whispered. “Don’t say any more, please.” 

 

“But Simooonnnn…” Wille begged. 

 

“Left hand on red!” Simon said, looking at the girls. 

 

“Shhh, just calm down love,” Simon said again, placing a soft kiss on Wille’s mouth before moving his mouth to Wille’s ear. “I know what you can do, how you can make me feel and that’s how it’s going to stay, okay? So stop whatever it is that you are about to say and be happy with knowing that I love everything you can provide me with!” 

 

Wille blushed furiously and sputtered an apology saying something about the bathroom and being right back. Simon smiled. His boyfriend was a jealous, drunken mess who turned into a caveman when it came to him when he was drunk. 

 

Somehow the girls had managed to get more shots while playing their game of Twister, which only turned out to be a bad idea because suddenly Frederika exclaimed in a frightened voice, “Where the fuck did the floor go?!”

 

Everybody looked around trying to figure out what she meant. 

 

“Where did the floor go? OMG!” Frederika continued to scream more and more panicked. 

 

“What’s going on?” A slightly less flustered Wille said, having just entered the living room again. 

 

“Frederika believes our floor is gone,” Simon explained. 

 

“OMG!” Wille exclaimed, quickly jumping up on the sofa. “Everybody! The floor is gone!” 

 

Everybody, except Simon who was sitting relaxed on the sofa, jumped up on some kind of furniture trying to avoid the floor that seemingly was gone now. Simon couldn’t help but snicker at his friends who all held on to a chair, or the sofa, or something else just because their wooden floor, which was still well in place, seemed to suddenly have disappeared. 

 

“Guys, don’t worry!” Henry suddenly whispered. And why was he whispering? “I’ll order some new floors for you! It will be here next week, hold on!” 

 

“OMG, Henry!” Simon said, rolling his eyes. “We don’t need new floors. We have a perfectly fine floor here.” 

 

To highlight his point, Simon stood up and took a little walk around the living room. 

 

“See, nothing to worry about!” Simon finally said before dropping down on the sofa again with a soda in hand. 

 

“Well, I ordered a new floor for you guys just in case,” was all Henry replied before everybody jumped down from their piece of furniture and continued the party. Drunk people were ridiculous, Simon thought to himself. 

 

When midnight came around everybody stood up from the sofa and congratulated each other for making it through the last year and wished everybody the best for the new year.

 

“It’s the first time I get to kiss you at midnight on New Year's Eve, Simon,” Wille whispered,  excited, now a bit more sober after drinking only water for a while. 

 

“I know!” Simon smiled back, “Let's make it a tradition, shall we?” 

 

Wille answered him by kissing him once more. Simon loved it and promised himself that he would do whatever it took him to spend New Year’s Eve together with Wille from now on and until eternity. Because he was sure that they would be eternal. 

 

“Oh, my gooooood!” Felice’s scream pierced the bubble Simon and Wille had been in. Simon looked to his side and saw a flushed Henry kneeling in front of Stella who already had big, watery eyes. 

 

“Stella, my munchkin!” Henry started. “You! You are the reason that I am the happiest man on earth. Not only have you been dating me for years now, but you are also fully on board with Walter tasting the fruits from time to time.”

 

The room was quiet. Simon pressed himself closer to Wille feeling a bit uncomfortable with this drunken proposal. Everybody knew Henry wasn’t the best when it came to words and saying beautiful things, but this was just painful to watch.

 

“I have tried to figure out how to best do this thing, but I have no fucking idea what to do or say other than I really fucking love you, Stella. And I love what we have and the dynamics that we have. Please, please, please do me the honor and become my wife someday?”

 

“Was that it?” a drunk Frederika whispered, quite loud, to Felice. Felice shrugged and looked at Stella…Stella looked at Henry but kept quiet. 

 

Simon could feel that Wille was holding his breath and to ease him, even though Wille had nothing to worry about, Simon took his hand and squeezed it. Their silent sign of support.

 

“I love you too, dumbass,” Stella finally breathed and it was like the whole room took a collective breath. “Of course, I'll marry you!” 

 

She leaped into Henry’s arms and tackled him down to the floor, kissing him mindlessly. Everybody around started cheering, even Frederika who had been crushing so hard on Stella back at Hillerska. 

 

It wasn’t long before the newly engaged pair excused themselves and left in a hurry. Soon after Walter followed with a silly smirk after receiving a text saying god knows what. 

“I’m headed to the university, Simon,” Wille yelled through the hallway. “See you tonight. Love you!”

 

From the bathroom, Simon could hear their front door slam shut and then the apartment became silent. It always left Simon with a hollow heart when he knew Wille wouldn’t be home until after supper because of his study group and whatnot. Wille had gotten a new group after their second semester and the people in the group really matched each other well. Not only work and study-wise but also on a personal level they seemed to get along. It was common that they would go out after lectures to have a cup of coffee or a beer if it was the afternoon before going back to the university’s library to study. Wille felt normal together with them, all of them were used to him in the lectures and not taking special consideration when he was around them.

 

After the professor had put them together and they had spent the first day as a study group getting to know each other, Wille had come home radiating with happiness. He had talked the entire evening about how he loved each and every single person in that group and how they all enjoyed their in-depth study of Plato and his philosophies. There was one person in particular in the group that Wille talked about more than others and that nagged Simon. He knew Wille was committed to him and their relationship (how could he not know that?), but things had shifted in their dynamic ever since they had moved in together and Simon had been diagnosed with stress. 

 

They would often touch and kiss just like they used to, but the bed was used for sleeping, not that much else. It had been great in the beginning and they had acted out like lovesick bunnies, but as the days went on, their lovemaking happened less and less but had largely stopped once they found out Simon was in fact stressed. Often Simon didn’t have the energy for anything other than sleeping, and when he on a rare occasion felt like touching Wille in that way or being touched himself, he somehow didn’t know where or how to start. 

And now, well into February, Wille was constantly talking about a girl from his study group who was so amazing and had this great idea to go have a cup of coffee at that new cafe and discuss everything there was to know about Plato. Simon knew nothing about Plato. Simon didn’t go to new coffee places because he wanted privacy, Simon wasn’t that amazing when you met him one-on-one. 

 

On that particular day when Wille had left without as much as kissing Simon goodbye, Simon found himself feeling lost and unwanted, so much so he almost forgot that he had to participate in a podcast that day. It was a part of his media strategy apparently. While getting ready Simon took his chances and called his sister. It was well overdue that he called her again. 

 

“Hey, Simon!” Sara’s happy voice was heard through the phone Simon had put on speaker. 

 

“Hey, Sara” Simon greeted his sister. “How are you? I barely hear anything from you nowadays.”

 

“Well, you could always just call or text, right?” Sara was fast to shoot back, and she had a point. He could do that, but he just forgot or didn’t have the energy. “I’m doing great. Sophia is such a pain right now, but it comes with the age I’ve read. It’s one of those developmental leaps they do.” 

 

“Ohh yeah, cool,” Simon muttered, concentrating on putting on a bit of eyeliner. 

 

“And August just passed all his exams and has started his 4th semester by now. He is so smart. Did you know that Arnas came out with a better annual profit than in the last 10 years?” Sara continued. 

 

“No, I did not know that,” Simon said, sighing. 

 

“Hey, Simme,” Sara’s voice softened. “What’s the matter?” 

 

“I don’t know, okay?” Simon could feel his voice wobble. “I just feel kind of left out sometimes I guess.”

 

“Left out? Simon, you are Sweden’s newest and hottest pop sensation. How is that being left out?” Sara questioned. 

 

“It’s just. Wille got this new study group and they are all really smart and know a lot of stuff about old stuff and I don’t know shit about old stuff,” Simon paused to breathe. “And Wille is always out. Hanging with the group, having lunch with Ellen, or doing something else.”

 

“Hold up, who is Ellen? Sara asked, surprised. 

 

“Ellen is this girl from Wille’s study group that hangs out with Wille all the time,” Simon elaborated. “She’s supposed to be so amazing at everything and Wille will just not shut up about her.” 

 

“Simon Eriksson, are you jealous of your boyfriend’s friends?” Sara laughed into the phone. 

 

“Shut up, Sara!” Simon complained. “It’s not like that. I just don’t like her that much. It’s like she has this pull on Wille.”

 

“Well, isn't Wille allowed to have his own friends? Not everything you do has to be together,” Sara tried to navigate the situation. 

 

“He is. I just…It feels like they are more than just friends. Like…” Simon paused, trying to gather his thoughts into rational words. “It’s like he doesn’t want to be home with me anymore or like he doesn’t, I don’t know, desire me anymore?”

 

“But he’s so into you!” Sara exclaimed. 

 

“Sara, we haven't had sex since New Year's Eve!” Simon shot back. 

 

“What? Are you serious?” Sara sounded choked. “But you two were always all over each other. What changed?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Simon whispered, trying to do something with his curls. 

 

“Simon….” Sara knew him too well to let him dodge the question. 

 

“Well, because I’ve been stressed I haven’t been up to much of… anything really. I’ve just been taking all the care Wille has been offering me,” Simon started. “And now I just don’t really know how to initiate things with him. It’s like there is this unspoken rule that we cannot do anything because I’m… and Wille is so damn nice that he would never push me into anything and now I’m so freaking scared that he will find that emotional connection with her and….” Simon’s voice broke and he had to stop speaking. 

 

“Ohh, Simme,” Sara said. “Do you really think Wille will cheat on you? You are his everything!”

 

“But I’ve been such a shitty boyfriend the last couple of months, Sara!” Simon was crying now. “And now I have to redo my make-up because I’m crying and I have this podcast, interview thing and I need to leave in like 25 minutes and I’m just so lonely, Sara. It hurts so much.” 

 

“Simon, hey. Breathe. Remember to breathe, okay?” Sara said in a calm voice. “Is there anyone you can call who can be with you or go with you to that thing? Clara perhaps?”

 

“No, Clara and Manfred are in the States right now and Frederika is studying as well, and I don’t even want to know what the sassy threesome is doing right now” Simon cried, sitting down on the bathroom floor hugging his knees. 

 

"Okay. I’ll stay on the line,” Sara concluded. “Now go redo your makeup and be strong. You can do this, Simon. You are not alone. I’m right here with you!”

 

Somehow Simon managed to clean up his face and redo his makeup before he had to leave. He also managed to be at the recording site on time, which was rare coming from him. He managed to get through the podcast smoothly and back to his apartment. But if anyone would have asked him what he had done that day he would not be able to recall it. Back in the apartment he undressed, leaving the clothes on the bedroom floor, and went straight to bed feeling spent, tired, and lonelier than ever. 

“I can’t believe how big he already is!” Simon said as he held Erik and Tindra’s precious baby boy in his arms. “I know we were here last week too, but it’s all just happening so fast, right Wille?”

 

Simon looked at his boyfriend who had his head buried in his phone.

 

“Huh?” Wille said, looking up when Erik poked him in the side. “Sorry, what did you say Simon? I was just…”

 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. You were just texting Ellen,” Simon interrupted Wille. 

 

“How did you know that?” Wille asked in surprise. 

 

“Because you’re always texting Ellen, or hanging out with Ellen, or studying with Ellen,” Simon just said, rolling his eyes before turning his attention towards the little baby again. 

 

Tindra had given birth in late January giving Sweden another little prince. It had been quite a media circus the days and weeks after the birth, but Erik and Tindra seemed to be well prepared for what was thrown at them and they shielded their little newborn son the best they could. 

 

Now, with a 2-month-old baby, it was time for them to take up their royal duties again – well Erik had been doing them all along, but Tindra had been granted a total of 2 months off. Simon had found it greatly unfair when he had heard about it, but Tindra explained that it was okay by her. The baby would be with a nanny when she was gone, and she would never take up an engagement that lasted more than what suited the baby’s feeding times. 

 

Sitting with the little prince in his arms Simon couldn’t understand how Tindra could be okay with letting such a gem out of sight for just a moment.

 

“You want to hold him, Wille?” Simon asked, looking at Wille. He was still on his phone, laughing at something Ellen had texted – Simon assumed.

 

“No, it’s okay,” Wille just said.

 

“Wille!” Simon exclaimed, handing the baby back to Tindra. “Are you really just going to sit there with your phone the whole time?” 

 

Wille looked at him with questions all over his face.

 

“Yes? I can come back next week to say hello or something,” Wille shrugged. 

 

“Wille, think for a moment,” Erik said tentatively, while Simon stood up from his seat and walked out of the room. He needed some air – somewhere Wille wouldn’t be in his sight. 

Angrily he sat down against a wall in a hallway somewhere and hugged his knees. It was a position he had used quite often lately, finding comfort in the feeling of being small and held. The thing was that he needed someone else to hold him, but he couldn’t ask for it. The words wouldn’t leave his lips to be heard by the person who mattered the most to him, but who had been acting like a complete jerk lately. 

 

“Simon?” Wille’s voice was heard somewhere down the hall. “Simon, what are you doing here? Why did you take off like that?” 

 

“Just, leave me alone for a bit, okay,” Simon hissed. He couldn’t stand the thought of looking at Wille or speaking to him right now. 

 

“Okay, but... We have to leave in a little while. I have this study thing and…” Wille stopped mid-sentence when Simon let out a hysterical laugh. 

 

“Of course, you have this study thing. I get it. Go have fun with your friends, Wille,” Simon whispered. 

 

“Simon, I’ll be home for supper okay? Come on. Let’s say goodbye to Erik and Tindra and get home,” Wille just said, clearly not catching on to why Simon was acting the way he was. 

Wille was home for supper, if supper had been 2 hours later than usual that is. Simon was furious and hurt and sad all at the same time when Wille came waltzing into their joined living room and kitchen.

 

“Nice of you to drop by,” Simon said, keeping his attention on the tv.

 

“What do you mean?” Wille asked, sounding defensive. 

 

“I waited for you for over an hour, Wille. You could at least have texted me or something,” Simon said, defeated and tired. 

 

“Ohh come on, Simon. I'm not that late!” Wille was quick to shoot back all defensive.

 

“It’s 9 PM, Wille. We normally eat around 7 PM,” Simon finally looked at Wille with big eyes. He was so hurt and Wille would not even acknowledge it. “You said you would be home for supper!”

 

“I’m sorry, but you have to look at it from my perspective too, Simon!” Wille said, angrily. “I’m the only one who is in a relationship in my group of friends. I’m the only one who always has to go home to my boyfriend and be bored. I just want to have some fun and live a little for once!” 

 

“I’m sorry if I’m boring, Wille. But you chose this! You chose to live together with me!” Simon said back, voice barely a whisper. What Wille had just said hurt so much.

 

“I’m not saying it’s you who are boring Simon it’s just…” Wille took a breath. “It’s just really mundane and …and nothing exciting is ever happening. We go to school or work, we get home, we have dinner and then we watch tv. Nothing exciting!”

 

“I thought you liked it that way,” Simon said looking down to the floor. “I thought you didn’t need the attention that we get every time we walk around town together. I thought we were on the same page when it came to that.” 

 

“Well, maybe I changed my mind,” Wille said sharply. 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me then?” Simon asked, still looking down. 

 

“Because you only care about yourself right now, Simon. You just keep taking, and taking, but never giving me anything back. I need to be seen and acknowledged too, Simon. You don’t do that!” Wille plopped down on the sofa, furthest away from Simon. 

 

“What are you even talking about, Wille? That’s not true at all!” Simon said, looking at Wille with tears in his eyes. 

 

“When was the last time you checked in with me to see how I’m doing?” Wille asked challengingly and Simon couldn’t answer because he couldn’t remember. 

 

He had been so far down his own path of getting a grip on himself so he could get better that he had forgotten about Wille. Wille hated speaking in front of people but had two oral exams just after Christmas. Simon didn't know how he was feeling about those exams and just asked if he had passed or not. Simon hadn’t thought of asking Wille how he was feeling with the upcoming tour Simon would be on for months. He hadn’t asked Wille about anything really.

 

“Do you want to end this? End us?” Simon suddenly asked between tears.

 

Wille looked at him with calculating eyes. There was no immediate answer and that was what hurt the most. Simon began crying even more but stayed seated. He needed to have an answer to the question. 

 

“Somedays I think that we just keep going because it’s convenient. Because it’s the safe thing to do,” Wille finally whispered, not looking at Simon. 

 

“Wille,” Simon’s voice was broken and small. He felt like he was about to die. He was sure he would lose the most precious thing, his person. 

 

“I’m sorry, Simon, but you asked. As much as you need validation, I need it too and there hasn’t been much lately. I know you’ve been in a bad place and needed your time to sort out all the stress, but I’ve been feeling so neglected. I have given you everything I have and nothing came in return. Not even now,” Wille paused looking into the room.

 

“And Ellen?” Simon asked carefully.

 

Wille looked at him for a short moment, too short, and then looked away. 

 

“Ellen listens to me and makes me laugh,” Wille finally said. 

 

“And I don’t,” Simon concluded, gathering himself, and putting on his armor of defense. “I have an early morning tomorrow. We leave from the studio at 6 AM, so I’m just going to bed. Goodnight, Wille.” 

 

He stood up and made his way out to the hallway and into the bathroom where he closed and locked the door before falling to the hard floor, curling in on himself and letting his tears run freely. 

 

The next morning Simon left their apartment without waking Wille who had been sleeping on the sofa the entire night. It didn’t skip his attention that Wille had his phone beside his head. He had clearly been texting someone, Ellen, after Simon had gone to bed. 

 

At the studio he kept his sunglasses on, joking that he wanted to embrace the true rock star on the road look. It had earned him amused looks and comments, but none of them could brighten Simon’s mood. He wasn’t sure if going on tour throughout Europe would be a smart call right now when it came to their relationship, but he couldn’t cancel his first ever tour. He just wasn’t sure if he would have someone to come home to after the two months on the road.

Notes:

Do I need to say sorry?
You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 38: Chapter 38

Summary:

“What are you saying, Simon?” his manager asked with calculating eyes. “Are you not with Wilhelm any longer?” 

Notes:

Time to have an honest talk: I’ve been a “closeted YR-fan” for forever. Like. For soooo long. I had no idea people were actually on twitter, tweeting stuff about YR before I posted this fic. (Which is the first piece of writing I’ve letten anyone read since I was 16 years or so.)
I am beyond word for how many actually read and like this silly story. I did not believe anyone would actually read it at all!
(I did not believe it was okay to be a grown ass adult and be this into a coming of age show as I am)
THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR BEING LOVELY PEOPLE<3
(and sorry for hurting you in the last chapter)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Simon

Hey Wille, We arrived in London and are just settling in. We’ll go to the venue tonight to have a look before the show tomorrow. I hope you are doing well.

 

Simon

The size of that venue is scaring me a bit but I’m sure it will be awesome tomorrow. 

 

Simon

OMG, Wille, you have no idea how awesome it was to perform in front of all those people. I felt so alive. I wished you could have been there too! We’re flying to Glasgow a little past midnight and then we'll perform there tomorrow. 

 

Simon

So, we are in Dublin now for two days I guess. After that we are going to Greece and Spain and then France. I hope you are well. 

 

By the time Simon and his entourage arrived in Greece, he had still not gotten any replies from Wille. It almost felt like the summer when Erik was in a coma, only Simon’s schedule was much more demanding. He had to stay alert and “be on,” or wear his show persona every night. He had to do his best. This was his first tour after all, and it was all just so insane to think about. He had meet and greets after every show where he acted happy and carefree posing for photos and signing autographs. And he was excited about it all, he really was, but he kept having this nagging feeling inside his chest telling him that Wille and he were over. Done. Time for a new chapter. But he wasn’t sure, far from it, actually and he couldn’t be sure before he had the chance to actually talk to Wille about their situation. People close to him could sense that something was wrong, but Simon chose to let them believe that he was just a bit overwhelmed by everything happening on the tour. It was all new after all, he kept telling them. Nobody knew about the rift in his relationship and he preferred for it to stay that way. 

 

Simon

It’s already so hot here in Athens even though it’s just spring. You would love it here. Everything is so beautiful and old and the food is amazing. I can just imagine you going on and on about the history of this city.

 

Simon

We are flying to Spain today. Then we will have this big tour bus and stuff. It’s really cool, but a lot of traveling time too. Wish you were here <3

 

Spain was just as hot as Greece had been even though it was only late March. Simon and some of the band members had chosen to leave their hotel for once and do some exploring in Madrid before their show the upcoming evening. They knew their routines by now and only needed to do sound checks in the late afternoon before the crowd was let into the arena. 

 

Simon had never been in Madrid before so he looked forward to pretending to be a tourist for a short while before transforming himself into the Swedish pop sensation once more. He had chosen to wear some lowkey summer clothing, not in the mood to dress up. He did that every night after all. 

 

The group ended up in a big park in the middle of the city where they ate some tapas they had taken along with them. The park, Jerónimos, was filled with a  lot of different people enjoying the hot sun together with friends or family. It was all very peaceful, and not for the first time in less than two weeks Simon wished that Wille was with him. He wished that they could share this experience together.

 

“Hey, earth to Simon!” Tom, the drummer, suddenly said, shaking Simon out of his own thoughts. Apparently, he had been staring out into the blue sky for some time now.

 

“Ohh, sorry. I got lost in my own thoughts,” Simon excused himself, trying to give the group a friendly smile. 

 

“Sure, you seem to do that a lot. Everything okay?” Tom kept probing. 

 

“Yeah, yeah. Just a bit overwhelmed that’s all,” Simon tried to save face. “A lot of new things are happening and stuff and I’m just tired I guess.” 

 

“Sure, so umm…” Tom continued, seemingly a bit more nervous., “We have been talking and we were wondering if Wilhelm going to join us for some of the tour?” Tom looked at some of the others who were with them that day. They all seemed to follow the conversation with curious eyes. 

 

“Ohh,” Simon looked away, trying to hide his distress after hearing his boyfriend's name. “No, I don’t think so. There is school and stuff. And Easter is coming up too, and he’s always crazy busy this time of year, so yeah...” 

 

“He’s been to so many of your performances back in Sweden, so it seemed only natural if he joined us for some of the tour,” Tom explained, sending a knowing look to some of the others. 

 

“Well he isn't, so just let it go!” Simon snapped. “I think it’s time to get back to the hotel. I need to do some stuff before soundcheck.” 

 

With that, he stood up and signaled to the rest of the group that it was time to go. They packed their stuff together and found their way back to the hotel. As the group chatted and joked on their way back, Simon stayed relatively silent, getting lost in his own thoughts about him and Wille. Remembering all those small, but still important, moments they’d had together.  

 

As soon as Simon was back in his hotel room he fell down onto the bed and cried his eyes out. He was so lonely. He was surrounded by people all the time – good people, funny people, people who were in this together with him – but even with all of that, this tour should be an awesome experience, but it wasn’t. He was the one on tour and was supposed to live his life to the fullest right now; it felt like it was Wille who had left him behind. It felt like Wille was trying to cut all strings to Simon and it felt unbearable – like his whole world was collapsing around him. 

  

“Thank you, Madrid! You have been amazing!” Simon shouted into the microphone after his encore before running off the stage to get ready for the meet and greet. He didn’t know whose idea it was to let the meet and greet happen after the show. He really didn’t like the way he was covered in sweat and kind of smelled even though he had tried to freshen up in the time between the show and the meet and greet. 

 

“Great performance tonight, Simon. You were on fire! There are a set of fresh clothes and some snacks for you in the dressing room. I’ll pick you up in an hour or so for the meet and greet,” his manager informed him, patting him on the shoulder. 

 

“Yeah sure, thanks!” Simon smiled and began walking toward his dressing room. He needed some water and he was hungry too, now that he thought about it. 

 

In his dressing room, he quickly found his phone. He always texted his mother and Sara after every show to tell them how it went, but tonight he almost dropped the phone when he saw notifications for who had texted him. Wille… Wille had texted him. His heart was pounding like crazy when he unlocked the phone with shaking hands and opened the text. 

 

Wille

It’s good to hear that you are having fun, Simon. 

 

That was it. Nothing more. He could just as well not have sent that text in the first place. But Simon couldn’t afford to be mad at Wille because Wille had reached out, in his own cold and impersonal way, and Simon was grateful for that.  

 

Simon

Wille! I’m so glad to hear from you! How are you?

 

Simon quickly changed his clothes and began to snack on the food sitting in front of him. He kept looking at his phone as if he could force an answer from Wille if he stared long enough at the phone. But there was no answer and when his manager came to escort him to the meet and greet Simon felt like he had done everything wrong by texting Wille back. He pocketed his phone, put on his best smile, and went with his manager to meet the waiting fans. 

 

The meet and greet tickets were very exclusive and there were only about 50 tickets available for each show. Simon thought that 50 people were still a lot, but he knew it was nothing compared to the people who actually attended the show.

 

The screams and applause that met him when he entered the room were deafening, but Simon kept up the facade and smiled and waved to his fans like he always did. There were both boys and girls in the crowd all wanting to get their time together with Simon, so Simon did his absolute best to greet each and everyone enthusiastically and politely. He small-talked and laughed and smiled until a young teenager asked him how he felt about the Prince already dating someone else. Simon paused what he was doing, looking intensely at the young boy. 

 

“Excuse me,” Simon said, trying to stay calm. “Can you repeat that? I didn’t quite get it.” 

 

“Yeah it’s just,” the young boy was clearly not at ease so Simon tried to smile at him, calming him down, but he questioned whether it actually worked. “It’s been all over the internet this morning.. the Prince of Sweden together with this blonde girl. Everybody says that they are dating.” 

 

“Ohh, is that so?” Simon said, looking around to try and find his manager. He needed to get out of here. “I haven’t heard of that.” 

 

Finally, Simon managed to make eye contact with his manager who immediately understood the look in Simon’s eyes. She quickly wrapped things up and got him out of the room and walked him all the way to his dressing room. 

 

“Is Wille dating someone else?” Simon questioned when they were alone taking a deep breath.

 

“I umm, I didn’t know how to bring it up, so I kept it to myself,” his manager said carefully. “It’s been in a lot of tabloids – this picture of Wilhelm together with a blonde girl and the press has already linked them together. But they…”

 

“That was why Tom asked about Wille today,” Simon concluded, cutting his manager off. “He asked me if Wille would join us for some of the tour.”

 

“Simon, I’m sure it’s just a stupid story they printed to earn some money,” the manager said softly.

 

“I’m not,” Simon whispered as he packed his personal belongings in his backpack and got ready to leave the venue.

 

“What are you saying, Simon?” his manager asked with calculating eyes. “Are you not with Wilhelm any longer?” 

 

“I don’t know, okay?!” Simon yelled before turning around and looking her in the eyes, his own filled with tears ready to fall. “I don’t fucking know because we had this big fight the night before we left for the tour and then I left without saying goodbye or anything and… It’s all just such a mess right now.” 

 

“Ohh, Simon,” his manager whispered before putting her arms around him in a warm hug. “I’m so sorry for you. It must be hard on you to be this uncertain about your situation. Have you tried talking to him?” 

 

Simon nodded, he had tried to text him, but he hadn’t gotten an answer. Not before today, anyway, but that hadn’t clarified anything. He explained that to his manager who thought for a while before responding again.  

 

“Well, maybe you should call him instead of texting him,” the manager suggested before letting go of Simon. “Come on, let’s get you to the hotel, hon.” 

SimonErikssonOfficial Thanks to everybody who has supported me on this tour! Each and every city has been amazing. I wish I could tour forever and play for you guys! Thankfully we have plenty of shows left! Will I see you there? 

 

PinkyBlond YES! I have tickets for the Stockholm show!

MistyNights Oui! See you in Bordeaux <3 

ddd You were amazing last night! Such a great show<3 Love you!!

 

 

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Prince Wilhelm’s new love

 

Prince Wilhelm who’s been known worldwide for coming out as queer and dating the international pop singer Simon Eriksson has now been seen together with his new flame. 

Apparently, life as a professional musician and a university student didn’t fit well with the monarchy, so now the Swedish prince has moved on to a more suitable partner. He has been spotted together with the unnamed girl multiple times in Stockholm and sources tell us that she is in fact a student at the same university that the young prince attends and that the two of them are very close. 

The sightings of the two lovebirds appear just as Simon Eriksson is well on his way to his European and UK tour. The charming singer is believed to be on the road for around 2 months time and perhaps that’s just what he needs after the break from his very own Prince Charming.

 

Prince Wilhelm and Simon Eriksson were first spotted together 3 and a half years ago when Simon came to visit the Prince at Drottningholm. Since then the couple has defended their relationship and their privacy fiercely, but as most teenage romances go, this one was not made to last.  

 

Simon threw his phone in pure anger. Who was the fool who had written this article?! Why would Wille spend so much time together with Ellen that the tabloid would think they were dating? Unless there was really something to it? Simon looked at his watch. It was well past midnight, but still, he wouldn’t be able to sleep with these thoughts crowding his mind. Clumsily he found his phone again and without thinking much more about it he called Wille, his maybe-boyfriend. He needed some answers. 

 

“Simon?” A muffled voice said into the phone.

 

“Wille,” Simon breathed into his phone, relieved that Wille had picked up the phone. 

 

“Wille, who is it?” A female voice was heard in the background. 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Simon couldn’t help but yell into the phone.

 

“Simon, relax,” Wille mumbled into the phone, sleepily. “It’s just Ellen. We fell asleep on the sofa.” 

 

“That's supposed to make it better, Wille?” Simon asked, beyond annoyed. “Why is she even in our home?” 

 

“Well you aren’t here, Simon,” Wille was quick to shoot back now fully awake. 

 

“I'm on tour, Wille!” Simon said. “You were the one who barely wasn’t home before I went on tour.” 

 

“Are we really doing this again?” Wille asked, also clearly annoyed. 

 

“No, you are right. There is no point in fighting over the phone,” Simon said, trying to gather some courage. “Just tell me if you’re dating Ellen, please.” 

 

There was no response – just silence – when there shouldn’t have been. Wille should have been able to say no immediately, but he didn’t. 

 

“Wille?” Ellen's voice was heard again and it made Simon see red in anger. Who in the world did she believe that she was?! How dare she even set foot in their shared home! How dare she call his Wille Wille. What in the world gave her the right to be near Wille when Simon was so far away – both physically and emotionally? What?! 

 

“I guess not, but Simon,” Wille answered in a low voice, “I feel very attracted to Ellen and her personality; I'm not going to deny that. She makes me feel seen.” 

 

“Wille you can’t,” Ellen's voice was heard in the distance.

 

“What?” Simon asked, tears now threatening to spill again. “How. I… Wille?” 

 

“I need to be honest with you and myself, Simon,” Wille tried to explain himself. “I love what we had and how things were, but lately our relationship has been lacking. We don’t speak, we don’t touch, and we don’t do much actually. Everything has felt wrong for a while…like we didn’t fit together. We've always used to fit together… ever since I wrote that text to a wrong number we've been a great match.”

 

“Why can’t we be a great match any longer?” Simon asked in despair. He could feel his heart breaking into small pieces with every word Wille spoke to him.  

 

“I didn’t say that we can't be that again, it's just…” Wille trailed off. 

 

“Wille, please…” Simon whispered. Boom, there went another piece of his heart down into the void of loneliness. 

 

“What if we are not meant to be after all?” Wille finally whispered back to Simon, clearly very upset himself. 

 

“Wille please, you can’t say that…” Simon cried into the phone. It felt like his whole world was falling apart. His chest was tight and the air felt like sand in his lungs. Why was Wille saying these things?

 

“I think that I just need some time for myself, Simon,” Wille finally whispered after a period of silence.

 

“With Ellen?” Simon muttered dryly. Boom, another piece went twirling down into the dark void. 

 

“No, Simon,” Wille sighed. “It’s not like that. I told you already.”

 

“You told me that you feel attracted to her. What am I supposed to believe?” Simon said back, heartbroken. Heartless? Were there any more bits of his heart left to break by now?

 

“But nothing is going on, Simon,” Wille tried to explain, but Simon had had enough of this conversation. He had enough of Wille trying to explain something that was clear as day to him by now. 

 

“You know,” Simon started slowly. “There is this thing called emotional cheating, too.”

 

“Simon,” Wille tried to protest, but Simon cut him off.

 

“It was clearly a mistake to call. I’ll go now,” Simon took a deep breath to steady himself. "Goodbye, Wille.” 

 

— 

 

Wille

Did you get any sleep?

 

Simon

No

 

Wille

Same

 

Simon had no idea why Wille was texting him. After the phone call last night Simon had tried to get some rest, but his mind kept replaying their entire relationship over and over. He thought about everything they had done in the last 3 years, pondering it and analyzing it. He couldn’t get any rest so finally, he made the decision to just get up and try to write something. It always helped him clear his mind when he wrote music, but this was something completely different. He had felt empty and hollow, and so, so very alone. He craved hearing Wille’s voice again even though he had hurt Simon. He longed to smell the familiar scent of Wille and be held in his arms. He wondered if he would ever get to do that again or if it was all just in the past now. 

 

He had hoped that he could catch up on sleep on the tour bus, but his phone felt like a ginormous reminder of the rift there was between him and Wille right now, and Wille suddenly texting him after last night's call made him even more uneasy and alert. He couldn’t find rest no matter how hard he tried. 

 

Simon

Why are you texting me? I thought you needed space.

 

Wille

I don’t know. 

 

Simon

That’s an encouraging answer. 

 

Wille

I just miss the way it used to be, Simon.

 

Simon

Then we are the people to fix that, Wille.

 

Wille

I don’t know how to get back to that.

 

Simon

Do you even want that? It didn’t sound like that last night.

 

When no reply from Wille came, Simon wondered if he had actually scared him off with his question. He wasn’t so sure that Wille wanted them to be a thing anymore. Maybe Wille was just in love with the idea of them and how their relationship had been as teenagers at a boarding school. Maybe Wille didn’t love their normal everyday life as much as Simon adored it. Maybe Wille wasn’t okay with Simon doing what he did as a full-time thing. There were so many maybes that it made Simon dizzy to contemplate. 

 

At some point, he must have fallen asleep because he was awakened by his manager shaking him awake gently announcing that they were at their new hotel in Barcelona. They didn’t have a show planned for that evening, so Simon excused himself and hid in his room until the next morning where he was needed for stage rehearsals and whatnot. 

 

The band could clearly feel that something was, even more, off with Simon than usual, but none of them said anything. They went on with what they needed to do and in the end, the show that evening turned out to be just as good as all the other shows they had performed so far. 

 

Simon was drained of energy when he stepped into his dressing room after the show, but he knew he had to do the meet and greet so he hurriedly changed clothes and drank a strong cup of coffee before heading out with his manager who took him to the meet and greet. It was only when he was securely alone in his hotel room that Simon checked his phone and saw another message from Wille.

 

Wille

How do you feel when we’re not together?

 

Simon looked at the text, not knowing what to make of it. It was a strange thing to ask out of the blue, but in the end, Simon decided that he needed to answer honestly. They had always been honest with each other. 

 

Simon

I feel like there is something fundamentally missing. It’s not like I can’t go a day or two without you, but when we are apart I feel that there is something missing. 

 

Wille

Mmm, I feel the same, kind of. Thanks for being honest, Simon.

 

Simon

We are always honest with each other. I don’t see a point in not being honest. 

 

Wille

Why did you fall in love with me?

 

Simon

I fell in love with you because you were so sincere and loving even though we hadn’t even met. You let yourself be open and vulnerable with me. You trusted me so much even though you barely knew me. You were listening to me and encouraging me to go for whatever I wanted.

 

Wille

Thanks for answering, Simon.

 

Simon

You have to answer too. Those are the rules for this three-questions-a-day thing.

 

Wille

I fell for you because you saw me for me. Like, you were funny and had a lot of comebacks and sassy remarks and you made me laugh so much, Simon. You made me think of a lot of things regarding my own life and you made me feel okay with just being me. 

 

Simon

Thanks for telling me, Wille. 

 

Thinking that he should get some rest tonight, Simon put away his phone and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower before going to bed. He didn’t care about food, didn’t feel hungry at all and before it even was fully dark Simon fell asleep in a restless slumber. 

 

The next morning Simon didn’t feel more awake than he had the previous evening, but he got up when his alarm went off and got dressed so he could head down to the hotel’s restaurant to have some much-needed breakfast. Once he had loaded his plate with plenty of food from the buffet, he took out his phone and saw that Wille had messaged him one last question the night before.

 

Wille

When do you feel alive?

 

Simon

I feel alive whenever I’m on stage and the adrenaline is pumping through my body. Or when you touch me in certain ways and make my blood rush through my veins and my heart beat like it’s about to combust…that’s when I feel most alive.

 

Wille

I was afraid that you didn’t want to answer me. I know the questions are heavier than they used to be…back at Hillerska. 

 

Wille

I feel most alive when we are away together, on vacation, and such. When it’s just the two of us having fun and creating memories together. 

 

Simon

Why are you asking me all of these questions, Wille?

 

Wille

Is that your first question of the day? 

 

Simon

Sure, whatever. 

 

Wille

I don’t want to make you upset, but Ellen said that I need to find out what I actually want…How I feel about you. So I googled 50 questions to ask your partner and… Yeah. I think there were important questions that came up in the search. 

 

Simon

Okay, so… Umm. Do I touch you enough? 

 

Wille

Not lately…

 

Simon

Yeah, I know that. Same. I don’t know how to… After this winter and everything I don’t know how to initiate things. It’s not because I don’t want to. It’s just, yeah. I don’t know how to explain it. 

 

Wille

Why didn’t you tell me, Simon? I don’t want you to feel that you can’t touch me or talk to me or something like that.

 

Simon

I just don’t know how to say stuff like that, Wille. It’s not because I don’t want to talk with you about this stuff, but it’s just… It’s been hard and you haven’t been home that much…

 

Wille

Sorry about that, Simon. I just really like the people I’m in the study group with.

 

Simon

Yeah, I’ve noticed. 

 

Wille

Not like that, Simon… But I would like you to know that you can talk to me – about anything. I’ll always listen to you, Simon. 

 

Simon

Thank you, Wille. The same goes for you!

 

 

The tour continued and so did the questions. Every day they asked each other 3 questions, alternating between Wille asking and Simon asking. Wille’s questions were always deep and meaningful, more than Simon’s anyway, but it made Simon warm when he thought about how Wille actually took his time to think about how their relationship had started and developed and why they were struggling now. 

 

Simon

Happy birthday, Wille. I hope that you have an awesome day!

 

Wille

Thank you, Simon. I’m going to visit Tindra and baby Gustav today. Erik is away on business.

 

Simon

That sounds lovely. Say hello to them, from me.

 

Wille

I will.

 

Wille

What do you want us to achieve together in the near future?

 

Simon

I want us to build a home and a comfortable relationship where we both can grow and evolve as humans. I want us to be together.

 

Wille

Yeah, me too. Can we do that?

 

Simon looked at his screen as the tour bus drove along roads somewhere in Germany. Wille wished for a future together with him. He would still like to be with Simon if they could build a relationship that would work for both of them. Simon couldn’t help but smile. It felt like it was the first time he had smiled in ages. It felt light and like everything somehow would work out between them. His manager looked at him with a questioning look, but Simon just shook his head. He didn’t need to explain anything right now – not when he didn’t know how to explain his and Wille’s situation to begin with. 

 

They had approximately 2 weeks left for their tour. There were two more shows in Germany, one in Denmark, three in Norway, and finally three in Sweden. He would end the tour in Stockholm, his hometown. The tickets were already sold out in Sweden and most of the other countries as well, and when the staff ran the numbers the tour had been a success overall.

 

When he got home to Stockholm he would have some time off apart from an interview and such before he went on the road again for the festival season. Simon looked forward to doing festivals. It was a lot different from a tour where he would play the same setlist every single night and meet with fans afterward. Festivals were much more relaxed and he could do different setlists and spice things up depending on the festival. But he couldn’t help but wonder if Wille would join him for those festivals that summer. He didn’t know if he would come with him for some of the gigs or if they were going to take a step back and slow down their relationship. None of that was clear yet even though they texted each other those three questions every day. They got to know each other again in a whole different and more profound way, but they still hadn’t talked about how things were going to be once Simon got home. Would they still be living together? Would they still be on this kind of break that they were on right now or would things just slide back to normal? Be good? Be bad? 

 

Simon

Which of your childhood dreams have been fulfilled?

 

Wille

I have been experiencing love and friendship. That was never something I thought I could have as a child. I don’t think I ever had a dream as a child, per se. I always knew what was in my future... Mama and Papa always made sure I knew that.

 

Simon

I’m glad that you have true friends, Wille. I really am. And that you got to experience love at some point in your life.

 

Wille

The love is still there, Simon. It just needs a lot of nurturing, I think... I…we…need to be reminded of the why behind the love. 

 

Simon

I can’t even begin to describe how much that text made me smile, Wille.

 

Wille

Why?

 

Simon

At some point in these last few weeks I’ve wondered if you didn’t love me anymore. I’ve wondered if our chapter was over…

 

Wille

I’ll always love you, Simon. You are my first real love.

 

Simon

What can I do to make you feel more loved by me?

 

Wille

Simon…

 

Simon

Please tell me, Wille. I need to know.

 

Wille

It’s a hard question to answer, Simon. I guess I need you to see me more. Recognize when I need attention, too. I know you have had a rough winter, but sometimes it would be nice if you would just stop for a moment and ask: Hey, how are you? How do you feel? Do you know what I’m getting at?

 

Simon

I think so. More?

 

Wille

I mean. It’s always nice to feel desired and wanted. To feel like someone wants you and appreciates the stuff you do and such. 

 

Simon

Okay. I hear you. 

 

Wille

Thank you for asking, Simon.

 

The last show in Stockholm was by far the loudest and wildest show they had done throughout the tour. The crowd had been on fire, chanting along to every song Simon performed, reacting to everything they needed to react to. It had been a blast and the adrenaline was racing through Simon’s body as he entered the room for the last meet and greet for this tour, the end of his first tour. But his excitement soon ended when he saw a familiar face amongst the fans. Maria was there, standing tall and proud and waving at him like they were old buddies. 

 

“SIMON! You were amazing out there!” she shouted through the room and Simon cringed. He had forgotten all about his nemesis from Hillerska. 

 

“Maria, hey!” Simon said, hugging her awkwardly. “I’m so glad that you could make it to the show. I hope you enjoyed it!” 

 

“It was amazing! Your vocals have gotten so much better since Hillerska,” Maria commented. “Did you take classes? Where do you take them?”

 

“I would love to catch up, Maria, but I have to talk to everyone here,” Simon lied before turning around to find somebody, anybody really, to talk with. 

 

Before she could answer he moved along to some of the other fans waiting for pictures and autographs. He made sure to spend a lot of time together with everybody other than Maria. But in the end, he had to take actual photos together with her knowing that she would post them online and make up some sort of story that wasn’t true at all. After all, that’s what she had done at Hillerska. 

SimonErikssonOfficial All good things must come to an end. THANK YOU, Stockholm for making our last concert this great!

 

PinkyBlond You were amazing Simon! It was so good to catch up!

Marina_K Loved everything about your concert – the staging, the set list, the dancing, and the energy. Everything was on point!

ThatWOne <3



After the meet and greet everybody who had been involved in the tour went to a bar near the venue to have a beer before calling it a night. They were all tired and were all excited to get home to their families, cats, dogs and whatever else they had left behind for two weeks. 

 

Simon’s manager had worked her magic and booked a whole corner of a popular bar for them to hang out in without too many curious eyes roaming. Simon should really send her some flowers or something. She had done a tremendous job throughout the tour keeping everything and everyone together. 

 

One beer became two beers, except for Simon who still didn’t drink, and soon people started talking about going clubbing. Simon was invited to tag along, but he politely declined, saying he was too tired to go party that night. He had joined them other nights, especially when he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. It had been fun to party in different cities with different people, but it had also been very superficial, and right now Simon just needed to go home. So when the others started getting ready to hit the city, Simon called an Uber and went home to his apartment. His luggage had already been brought back to the studio. He planned to pick it up the following day, too tired to actually do anything about it now.  

 

The apartment was silent when he walked through the front door, taking off his shoes and jacket before dropping his keys on the side table in the hallway. It felt odd to be back in this familiar, yet so foreign place. Silently he tiptoed into the living room where a dim light lit up Wille, who was reading a book on the sofa. As Simon entered the room Wille looked up from his book with a shy smile and put the book down on the coffee table before reaching out his arms for Simon, a silent plea for closeness.  

 

It only took Simon a moment to make up his mind and walk over to Wille and crawl into his embrace, straddling Wille the best he could on the sofa. Simon let himself get lost in the scent of Wille, of home, and of something else he had missed while on tour.

Notes:

You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

Chapter 39: Chapter 39

Summary:

Wille had looked smugly at him. He had his signature blue wool jacket and a scarf tightly around him throughout the ceremony. It was only about halfway through that the ceremony that he was kind enough to wrap his scarf around Simon’s neck and wrapped his arms around the poor, freezing man, almost pulling him on top of his own lap. 

Notes:

WARNING: Someone will get shampoo in his eyes!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

No one had told Simon it was possible to feel newly in love with your longtime boyfriend and if someone had, he wouldn’t have believed them. Linda had always told Simon that love would eventually turn into a deep friendship that would feel essential for life, something you couldn’t exist without, but what Simon felt whenever he looked at Wille now was pure love. He was sure of that. He had always loved Wille, but now after their relationship had settled again and they had talked things through he felt newly in love. Everything they did made his head spin with happiness and every look they shared, every handhold and hug were laced with emotion and respect. 

 

They hadn’t done anything else but cuddle the night Simon had come home from his tour. Neither of them had said anything. They had just held each other tightly – first on the sofa and later on in their bed. It had felt secure and safe to be held by Wille’s strong arms again after months of being physically apart and even longer emotionally apart. Simon hadn’t forgotten about Ellen or how they had both regarded their relationship with doubt, but he chose to ignore it for the time being while Wille held him.

 

The next morning Simon had woken up to the smell of newly brewed coffee. He was alone in the bed, but the sheets beside him were still somewhat warm so Wille couldn’t have been gone for long. After stretching his tired body he followed the scent of coffee and found Wille, sitting in their kitchen, reading something on his phone.

 

“Hey,” Wille breathed, looking carefully at Simon. 

 

“Hey,” Simon said in return, moving toward the kitchen table and a cup of hot coffee that was waiting for him. Wille must have made it for him. 

 

“How are you?” Wille continued to ask.

 

“Okay, tired,” Simon answered in a raspy voice. “You?” 

 

“Same,” Wille smiled softly. “And umm, how are we?” 

 

Simon looked at Wille and contemplated the question. How were they? Fine didn’t seem sufficient here. There were still things they needed to talk through and get out in the open, but it wasn’t bad. Not anymore. 

 

“I guess we'll be okay, right?” Simon said, looking shyly at Wille. 

 

“I really want that too, Simon,” Wille answered, taking a sip of his coffee. 

 

They had a lot to discuss together. They needed to find out, or rather put words to, how they had ended up where they had and discuss how to avoid that happening again. They talked, asked questions, and listened to each other. It all felt very adult, but Simon was sure that it was what they needed to find their way back to each other.



Prince Wilhelm’s Wild Festival

 

Prince Wilhelm was spotted together with his mysterious blonde girlfriend at a festival where his ex, the world-renowned singer Simon Eriksson, was performing. It is unclear when and why the two young men split. Neither has said anything about their split publicly yet, so we can only assume that both men are taking care of their wounds. But it seems like our young prince has found a certain someone to take care of him already. 

The prince was spotted in the VIP section at the festival together with his blonde summer love, sipping champagne and enjoying the Swedish summer.

The festival season had been great. Simon had felt lighter and more alive than when he had been touring. Of course that had something to do with him and Wille finding their way back to each other again, being secure in their feelings and their relationship. Simon had even met Wille’s study group after agreeing with Wille that it would be a good thing to meet them at least once. They had hosted a dinner party in their apartment and Simon had to agree with Wille that the group of people were nice to be around. Even Ellen.

 

At first, Simon had been nervous at the prospect of meeting them. They had without a doubt heard something about what had gone down between Simon and Wille, but Wille assured him that he hadn’t been talking to them about their personal problems. Yes, they knew that Wille had been down for some time, but it was really only Ellen who knew more of the story. And that was only because she had been there that dreadful night Simon had called Wille.

It made Simon slightly more at ease that it wasn't all of them who had heard about their almost break-up, so when the doorbell finally rang that evening he was mostly looking forward to meeting everyone.

 

They didn’t want to overdo anything, so they just ordered some Indian food from a restaurant around the corner and prepared some beers and snacks. It was all very chill and relaxed. Simon stayed in the kitchen while Wille opened the door to greet his friends. 

 

“Hey, Wille!” a male voice was heard loud and clear through the apartment. “Finally we get to see your place too!”

 

“Yeah,” a female? “We were joking that you didn’t have anywhere to stay but actually lived on the streets or something!” 

 

“Hahaha, very funny, Madeline,” Wille answered dryly. “Where’s the rest?” 

 

“They’ll be here in a moment,” Madelaine, the female said. “Joackim and I just walked together from the dorms.” 

 

“Well okay, come in,” Wille said and then they all entered the living room/kitchen where Simon could finally put some faces to the voices. Joakim was very tall – taller than Wille – and lean with a strange undercut haircut, giving Simon artistic vibes (not ancient history vibes). He wore round glasses and had a thin mustache balancing on his upper lip. His clothes were used and did not fit well together at all; they were probably thrifted clothes, Simon thought to himself. 

 

The girl, Madelaine, looked a bit more like one would expect a history student to look. She was short and round and wore a cute dress filled with strawberries. Her brownish hair was braided in two messy braids and she had gone all out with her very colorful makeup. 

 

“Guys, this is Simon!” Wille said excitedly, walking toward Simon with a fond smile on his lips. 

 

Simon waved awkwardly at the two students. Why was he so nervous? 

 

“Hey,” he managed to mutter before seeking comfort in Wille’s arm which had snaked their way around him. 

 

“Hey,” Madeleine said. “It’s so nice to meet you! You know at some point we thought that you were just someone who Wille had made up too?”

 

“What?” Simon asked, looking at Wille with big eyes. He was a bit worried now. What were they getting at?

 

“Yeah, like this apartment thing,” Madelaine tried to explain, plopping herself down on the sofa. “Wille always talks about you and the apartment, but today is the first time we’re seeing you/it for ourselves!” 

 

“Except!” Joakim said teasingly, “Except for all the concerts you’ve attended for him, Madelaine!” 

 

Madelaine’s face immediately turned red, her eyes wide. She looked at Wille and Simon with an expression that read close to horrified.

 

“You’ve never told me that you’ve been to Simon’s shows,” Wille just said, looking at Simon. “He is amazing right?” 

 

Madelaine nodded enthusiastically and now it was Simon’s turn to blush. This was strange and awkward. He was used to meeting fans and listening to their freakouts about how amazing he was and how his shows were the best and so on, but it was a whole other thing to stand in his own apartment, his sanctuary, and hear a friend of Wille say these kinds of things. It kind of didn’t sit well with him.  

 

The doorbell rang again and Wille hurried out into the hallway to greet the next guests, leaving Simon alone with Joakim and Madelaine.

 

“So umm, we ordered some Indian food. Wille said everyone would be okay with that?” Simon said into the room, not looking at anyone specific. 

 

“Ohh, I love Indian!” Madelaine exclaimed and stood up from the sofa and started to walk toward the kitchen. “Do you need help with anything?”  

 

“Ohh, umm, I’ll just put the food on the table and I guess we are ready once the other ones get here,” Simon shrugged nonchalantly before turning around to find something to do in the kitchen – like putting food on the dining table.  

 

The last people to arrive were of course Ellen, who Simon had already met earlier in the summer. They had thought it would be good to clear the air between them by meeting up to chat. Simon wasn’t that fond of the idea, and if he was completely honest, he didn’t know if it had really helped anything, but he had agreed to the idea because Wille had been so set on it. Now he felt more sure that Wille just had a short moment of confusion due to the lack of attention he’d been receiving from Simon at that time. Simon knew now that Wille was with him for the long haul, but he still didn’t like seeing Ellen in their apartment. He was a jealous type, he figured, and there was nothing wrong with that. He just wanted to protect what was his from intrusive forces that would cause problems for them. 

 

The two remaining guests were both men. One looked quite normal with blonde hair, blue eyes, a little beer belly, and what seemed like a love of pullovers and loafers. Evin was his name and he was from way up north. He had longed for something new and had therefore moved to Stockholm to study. And then there was Hans, who had black hair and wore black clothes, and had a lot of tattoos. His name and his appearance didn’t really match, but who was Simon to judge? 

 

As they ate, Simon didn’t say much, he just listened to the friends talk. They all had a bond, that much was clear, and therefore it felt almost as if Simon was interrupting something of theirs by being there.

 

The difference between the two friend groups Wille had was clear. Their shared friend group back from Hillerskar were the people that they had grown up with. They weren’t friends that had been with either of them since they were really young – not like Rosh and Ayub, but in any case, these were their longest friendships. They were “their people,” but after they had graduated they had all gone their separate ways. Wille had then gone to university and met an entirely new group of friends that Simon really wasn’t a part of. The beauty of their friend group from Hillerska was that it was a group of friends that really only got together over major holidays, but they could pick back up where they left off as if the separation had never happened. 

 

Wille’s new group of friends, on the other hand, was a group he had met on his own. Simon had his colleagues and such in the music industry, and Wille had his friends from university. It should all be okay. They were allowed to have different groups of friends and get to know people in different circles. This group of friends were the first friends Wille had made on his own. Wille had taken the initiative on his own, it wasn’t because Simon had been texting him and telling him to get out of his dorm to socialize like back at Hillerska. Simon was proud of Wille for making these friends and as the evening progressed he could see why Wille was drawn to each one of them. They all had something to offer Wille that complimented his personality. They all brought something positive to the table, so after they said their final goodbyes and Wille had closed and locked the front door, Simon decided to tell Wille how he felt.

 

“I’m proud of you, Wille,” Simon said while cleaning the dining table. 

 

“What for?” Wille asked with a happy, content look on his face. 

 

“You have made friends on your own,” Simon smiled back. 

 

“I’ve had friends before, Simon,” Wille shot back faking offense. 

 

“I know, love, but back at Hillerska I was the one to remind you that you actually need friends,” Simon answered. “Now you just go out there and make your own friends, and they are lovely by the way.” 

 

“I’m glad you liked them, Simon,” Wille answered and walked up to Simon, wrapping his arms around him. “But I like you too, you know?” 

 

“Ohh, you only like me now?” Simon teased, putting his own arms around Wille’s neck, toying with the small hairs on the nape of his neck. 

 

“Maybe I like you a lot?” Wille offered, smiling down at Simon.

 

“You are so, stupid. God,” Simon laughed and tried to get away from Wille’s hold, only to be held more closely by Wille. 

 

Their eyes locked and the energy between them was not something one could ignore. Sparks were flying and love was growing between them, reaching out like a branch to the other person to form a shared unity of love and truth. 

 

Wille let his hands follow the shape of Simon’s arm until he found the hands toying with his hair. He laced their fingers together and gently removed Simon’s hands from his back. 

 

“Come,” he silently whispered before pulling, leading Simon with him into their bedroom. They left the rest of their food out in the open, the empty bottles of beer left forgotten. Everything was surrounding the two of them at that moment. 

 

Inside of their bedroom, Wille closed the door behind them before walking up to Simon and kissing him passionately yet delicately like Simon was the most fragile blossom that could fade away at any moment. Simon melted into the kiss, giving himself completely to the man standing in front of him. Wille placed his hands on Simon’s lower back, slipping one hand down the back of his jeans gently stroking his skin there. “Is this okay?” Wille asked in a raspy voice. 

 

“Yes, God yes, that’s okay,” Simon stuttered back, feeling how his body practically turned to mush in Wille’s hands. Simon raised his hands up to Wille’s hair and tangled his fingers in it. He pulled his other hand to his face and cupped Wille’s cheek in his hand. Wille was so beautiful. He had always been, in Simon’s opinion, but in that moment it hit him again how beautiful Wille looked. His high cheekbones, his pale skin, his tender brownish eyes that would shine with gold laced through them in the right light. He was just plain beautiful. Simon slowly raised himself up on his toes to capture Wille’s lips in a gentle kiss, hoping to convey how much this moment meant to him…how much he cherished the way Wille made him feel. 

 

“I love you, Wille,” Simon whispered into his lips. “So much!”

 

“I love you too, Simon,” Wille said and pulled back a bit, looking Simon in the eyes intensely. Simon knew what Wille was silently asking him and he simply nodded before raising his arms and waiting for Wille to pull Simon’s shirt off him. Simon held his breath and waited for Wille to do the same, raise his arms, and let Simon discard his shirt. He let his fingers slide down Wille’s body and Wille slowly lowered his arms, placing them around Simon.

 

It had been so long since they had been together like this. They had cuddled and kissed but never more ever since Simon had gotten home from the tour. They had needed their time to find their way back to each other in every aspect of their relationship and therefore sex was very much off the table for a time, but not now. Not any longer.

 

Simon slowly backed Wille up against their bed until the back of his legs hit the mattress. Wille sat down on the bed, and soon after Simon climbed on top of Wille, straddling his lap. Wille laid back on the bed, and Simon brushed his fingers across Wille’s shoulders, chest, and belly. Soon he replaced his fingers with his mouth, making sure to kiss every single piece of bare skin on Wille’s body. Even though Wille lay completely still underneath him, his rapid breathing revealed how worked up he was by Simon’s touches. It made Simon feel empowered, brave even, to know that he was still the one who got to do this to Wille. He was the one to provoke a reaction like this out of Wille. Only him. 

 

It wasn’t long before the rest of their clothes were on the floor, joining their lonely shirts. Pressing his naked body against Wille’s sent volts of electricity through Simon’s body. It felt like heaven to feel Wille so close to him, without any barrier of clothing between them. 

 

When their two bodies connected every nerve in Simon screamed from pure pleasure. It was in that moment, only then, that Simon fully understood how far away they had been from each other and how close they should be instead. It was a beautiful revelation that almost made Simon cry from happiness. Because they had found their way back to this, they had made it work and now he had this beautiful man underneath him, looking at him like he was the sun itself. 

 

“I love you so much,” Simon whispered as he slowly started to move in his boyfriend. “You mean everything to me. So much, Wille.” 

 

Wille supported one hand on Simon’s shoulder and caressed his cheek with the other, looking him intensely in the eyes. 

 

“I love you too, Simon,” Wille whispered back. “I have always loved you. It will always only be you!” 

 

Simon moved so gently as if he was afraid to break Wille or maybe the moment. They kept their eyes locked, seeing all the emotion that was drifting through the other’s eyes, all the love. The union of two bodies in smooth rhythmic motion, twisting and turning, exploring each other anew. 

 

Stella and Henry’s wedding was something else. Not only had their bachelor and bachelorette parties been insane, but the wedding was also even wilder. It took place at the end of November and they had booked an entire ski resort for their guests. Each set of guests had their own cabin to share with another set of guests and that was how Simon and Wille found themselves sharing a cabin with Frederika and Felice. It wasn’t a problem at all; they all had a room for themselves and only had to use the common areas together, which was fine. It was going to be nice to catch up with them. Felice had started to date a guy she had met at university. He wasn’t from Sweden and that was what had made them connect in the first place. Felice had volunteered to show some of the new students from abroad around campus, and Jesús had been one of them. He was a year older than Felice and from Spain. He sounded lovely and Felice really seemed to like him, which was rare. She often hooked up with guys but never actually crushed on them. But then along came Jesús and everything had changed for her. 

 

Stella was still enjoying her single life to the fullest and had no complaints about that. She and Simon weren't as close as they had been, but they had kept each other updated on their lives through text from time to time, so that was okay. 

 

Someone else who would also attend the wedding that Simon couldn’t wait to see again was his sister Sara. Even though they often talked and texted, they hadn't really had the chance to see each other in person since last summer when Simon performed in Göteborg. But of course, seeing Sara also meant seeing August, which no one looked forward to.

 

“I can’t believe we have to spend 4 freaking days together with August,” Simon spat once they had arrived at their cabin Thursday before lunch. “Like, why is he here?”

 

“He’s here because Sara somehow loves him, Simon,” Wille tried to reason. “He is as much a part of your family as I am at this point.” 

 

“Not in quite the same way, Wille,” Simon mumbled before opening the door to the cabin.

 

“Omg, Simon!” Simon was pushed back a bit by a petite girl jumping into his arms. “It’s been too long, hon. How are you?” 

 

Simon pulled away from Frederika a bit and looked at her. She looked as she always had – like an upper-class, spoiled, rich girl who got what she wanted. But Simon knew there was more to her than that.

 

“Let’s just get inside first, Frederika. Then we can chat,” Simon smiled at her. 

 

They all moved inside the cabin and were greeted by Felice as well. She offered both men warm hugs before guiding them to the lounge area where the girls had prepared some warm drinks.

 

“Now tell me how you guys are!” Frederika nudged.

 

“Well, we’re good,” Wille said, looking shyly at Simon. Simon nodded in agreement but kept quiet. They were good but really didn’t have much to tell. They hadn’t been up to anything that exciting. 

 

They chatted for a while, drinking their drinks before Felice suggested that they could hit the slopes before supper. Everybody agreed except Simon who all of a sudden became very quiet. 

 

“What’s the matter, Simon?” Frederika asked, already on her way to her room to change clothes. 

 

“I’ve never been skiing before,” Simon muttered, looking down.

 

“Are you serious? How can you live in Sweden and never have been skiing?” Frederika asked, amazed. 

 

Simon didn’t answer her, but he tilted his head slightly to look at Wille. The Prince went to his side in an instant.

 

“Hey, it’s okay. I'll teach you,” Wille started, pulling Simon toward the stairs and to their room on the first floor. “It’s not a given that you know how to ski just because you are Swedish.” 

In their room, Simon looked at Wille gratefully. “Thank you, Wille,” Simon muttered. 

 

“No problem, love,” Wille kissed him on his curls before looking through his suitcase. 

 

“Sometimes Frederika forgets my background. Where I’m from and such,” Simon said, slowly. He walked toward his own suitcase. “You don’t have to teach me if you would rather go skiing for real yourself.”

 

“Don’t be silly, Simon,” Wille said as he started unbuttoning his shirt. “I’d love to teach you!”

 

Simon’s heart fluttered a bit from those words and the nonchalant way Wille handled the situation. Wille didn’t comment on Simon's poor background or how Simon felt uncomfortable mentioning it to Frederika, who knew, but clearly had forgotten. 

 

When they had gotten their rented ski gear, Wille told Simon how to fasten the skies and then grabbed his arm to guide Simon toward the ski lift.

 

Wille took Simon 300 meters up and once they were all set and ready, Wille looked at Simon with a smile.

 

“Just remember to bend your knees, and you'll be fine,” Wille said before sliding down at supersonic speed like he’d been skiing his whole life, which he probably had been.

 

Simon tried to do the same. Simon failed. Simon fell.

 

He tried once more. And another time. He spent more time tumbling down than actually sliding down while cursing Wille under his breath. It was clear that Wille’s fast instructions hadn’t been enough for Simon to grasp the concept.

 

His skis fell off half a dozen times, but ultimately, he was able to tumble his way down to the lower station without major injuries. 

 

Simon had NO FUN at all. He was frozen, couldn’t stop shivering, felt humiliated by this experience, and was ready to call it quits when Felice appeared beside him. She told him a bit more thoroughly what to do and what not to do and joined him on a smaller hill where he could try once more.

 

And this time, he actually had fun! He still could only barely ski on the open hills, but when he tried skiing in the tracks from others before him, it was somehow doable and even fun, and physically intensive in a good way.

 —

 

“Did you have fun today?” Wille asked Simon once they were alone in their room.

 

“Are you kidding me?” Simon asked, a bit amused. “You totally abandoned me after telling me that you would teach me to ski.”

 

“I told you what to do. You aren’t being fair right now, Simon,” Wille defended himself, clearly not getting Simon’s point. 

 

“Wille, my sweet, sweet, Wille,” Simon smiled and wrapped his arms around the prince. “It wasn’t meant as an accusation. But just promise me you won’t become a ski instructor anytime soon. You aren’t good at that,” he teased. Simon kissed Wille on his nose before leaning his forehead against Wille’s. 

 

“But I told you what to do,” Wille mumbled under his breath, looking Simon in the eyes. 

 

“Mmm, babe, you told me to bend my knees. That was it. I have never, ever done this before. Felice saved my sorry ass and taught me properly,” Simon laughed at his boyfriend, finding the whole situation bizarre somehow. 

 

“But…” Wille tried to say but was stopped by Simon who gently pushed him towards the bed.

 

“Shhhh, no more talking, love,” Simon said innocently. Wille’s eyes turned dark and grew full of hunger by merely hearing Simon say something so suggestively. 

 

“Kiss me,” Wille said just before they landed on the bed, tangling their legs together, holding each other, and trying to be as close to each other as possible. 

 

The room was dark but they could see each other clearly, feeling each other in a way only they could. When Simon pulled away for air he lightly let his fingers run through Wille’s wild hair. 

 

“Do you have a scarf or tie or something?” Simon mumbled kind of shyly.

 

“For who?” Wille asked, raising his eyebrows and smirking at Simon. 

 

“Me,” Simon breathed, locking his eyes with Wille’s. “I would like it if you would. Like we tried once before… I don’t know if you remember but…” 

 

“Simon…” Wille began, smiling down at him. “I remember, okay.” A kiss was placed on Simon’s nose. “You go undress while I find something for you.” A kiss on the mouth was all Simon received before Wille left the bed and began digging through his suitcase. 

 

“Did you know,” Wille said from where he was standing, “That I liked it too? The way you were so vulnerable and so aware of everything I did?” 

 

Simon was almost out of all of his clothing when Wille said that, causing him to stop in his tracks, hoodie halfway over his head. 

 

“You did?” Simon questioned. “We never really talked about it afterward, so I wasn’t sure how you felt about it.”

 

Wille let out a little laugh that sent shivers down Simon’s spine. 

 

“It was me who suggested it in the first place, Simon,” Wille reminded him before turning around to look at Simon with mischief in his eyes.

 

Simon had never been so quick to get rid of his hoodie and underwear as he was at that moment. He didn’t even register that Wille was still fully dressed, just waiting for Simon to be done with his task. 

 

“You look so, beautiful like this Simon,” Wille mumbled, walking toward the bed again and capturing Simon’s lips in a crushing kiss. It was filled with passion, love, hunger, desire, and so much more that Simon couldn’t put words to at that moment. He could feel how his brain focused on Wille and what was to come. 

 

“You are so good to me, Simon,” Wille praised him while gently placing his tie around Simon’s head, covering his eyes. “Remember to tell me if anything is wrong, okay? Don’t even hesitate.”

 

Simon nodded, eagerly awaiting whatever was to come. They hadn’t really talked about this before – not really. Sure, they had talked about sex and what they would like to try and so on, but never about stuff like this. Simon felt a bit dirty, maybe even kinky, for enjoying being blindfolded in bed. It felt forbidden somehow, even though he was sure that many people did stuff like this and even more. But as he was sitting on his legs in the bed, without his sight, he felt how nervous and excited and turned on he was all at once. And Wille did nothing. He didn’t move, didn’t talk, didn’t touch him, and it was driving Simon crazy with anticipation. 

 

He could feel his mind slowing down when Wille finally, finally let his hand run down Simon’s arm.

 

“You are so beautiful like this. Just waiting for whatever is to come. You are so good,  Simon,” Wille said into the room.

 

Simon let a small gasp escape before shutting his mouth. Why was this turning him on so much? 

 

Wille’s hands were on his body, feeling every part of Simon, making his skin burn with every touch, every caress. It was amazing and unbearable at the same time, and Simon didn’t know if he wanted it to stop or to continue for the rest of his life.

 

Suddenly Wille’s lips were on Simon’s, kissing him hard and wild and without any finesse. And when Wille, not so gently, pulled at Simon’s hair he couldn’t help but let out a pleading moan. It felt dirty and hot. Simon wanted more. 

 

“Wille,” he moaned to get his boyfriend’s attention.

 

“Lay down for me, love. And spread your legs,” Wille just said. 

 

Simon did as he was told and waited patiently while Wille moved around in the room. Suddenly Simon could feel Wille’s hands on his legs bending his knees slightly before he started to kiss his way up Simon’s leg. He kissed all the way up to his thighs only to stop and blow teasingly on Simon’s rock-hard cock. 

 

“I want you to help me out here, Simon,” Wille said into Simon’s skin. 

 

“Yep, yeah. Anything, Wille. Anything!” Simon replied eagerly, feeling the desire to obey whatever Wille said. 

 

“Since I’m such a bad teacher you need to teach me how to stretch you properly,” Wille said in what sounded like a calm voice. “Can you do that for me?” 

 

“Yes, yes. Please,” Simon said eagerly, and holy fuck. Since when had he become so focused on doing what Wille told him? 

 

“Give me your hand,” Wille then said and took Simon’s hand the moment Simon reached out toward Wille with one hand. He could feel the cold, sticky lube being dribbled down on his fingers before Wille moved away from him. “There you go. Teach me, Simon.”

 

Simon only hesitated for a moment before slowly starting to let his index finger caress his entrance. He breathed heavily, knowing that Wille was watching him like this made his mind spin with want and he wanted to show Wille so badly that he was able to do what was asked of him. 

 

He started to push the first finger into the tight hole, letting it disappear into the warmth of his own body. He couldn’t hear Wille. The room was silent. A sudden wave of panic washed through him. Was he alone? 

 

“Wille?” Simon asked in a small voice.

 

A hand was placed on his leg and a kiss reached his knee. 

 

“Shh, I’m right here, love. You are doing so good,” Wille’s voice filled his head with calmness again and Simon started to work his fingers in and out of himself at a slow pace. Soon he added another one, working two fingers in and out of himself. Wille didn’t say anything but his hand was still on Simon’s leg caressing it gently. 

 

When Simon added a third finger he couldn’t help but let a whimper escape. It felt so good. He felt good working himself open for Wille like that…being so vulnerable and showing how good he could be. 

 

“You’re such a good boy for me, Simon. So, so, so good,” Wille eased him on, starting to pepper small kisses up his legs. “Don’t stop until I say so. God, you are so beautiful!” 

 

Simon let himself float on the praises, working himself to the point of no return. It felt so good… he felt so good, almost empowered by the loving praise from his boyfriend. 

 

“So close, Wille please,” Simon pleaded when he felt the knot in his stomach building up, threatening to spill.

 

Wille yanked Simon’s fingers out of him. 

 

“Not now. You have to wait, Simon,” Wille corrected Simon. 

 

“But, Wille!” Simon complained. “I’m so close, please let me come!” 

 

“No,” Wille answered. “Not when I'm still dressed and haven’t had any fun yet.” 

 

Wille moved off the bed in a swift motion. Simon could feel him messing around with his clothes, taking them off he presumed. Then there was a dip on the bed and a hand was around his cock working it agonizingly slow, sending Simon into a strange limbo of pure bliss and a painful need to just spill his load once given permission. It was amazing.

 

“I’m going to make sweet, sweet love to you Simon, so you can’t come before I tell you to. Do you understand?” 

 

“Yes,” Simon whimpered from underneath Wille, moving his hips teasingly. He needed to come so badly, but he really wanted to do what Wille told him to do, too. He wanted to be good.

 

“What just happened?” Wille asked after they both had caught their breath. The tie that had covered Simon’s eyes had been thrown somewhere on the floor. Neither cared where it was anymore. 

 

Wille had been extremely slow and drawn both of their climaxes out to the point where it was almost agonizing. In the end, Simon had begged and pleaded with Wille to get some kind of relief and after what seemed like hours of floating Simon was finally granted his release. 

 

Afterward, Wille had spooned Simon in his lean arms, caressing his sweaty skin and whispering sweet nonsense into his curls. 

 

“I…I don’t know,” Simon answered Wille. “I’ve never. I mean… we kind of never talked about this kind of stuff before.”

 

Wille hummed in agreement.

 

“Did you like it?” Wille then asked.

 

Simon thought for a moment. 

 

“Yes,” he finally whispered into the room, feeling slightly embarrassed.

 

“Yeah?” Wille questioned. “What did you like about it?” 

 

“I don’t know. It was like… When I was blindfolded it kind of flipped a switch inside me and all I wanted to do was to earn your praises,” Simon started, sounding insecure in his words. “And just like the anticipation, not knowing what you would do next, nor being able to see. Me just trusting you… It really does something for me, Wille.”

 

“Okay,” Wille mumbled. “Anything else?” 

 

“I umm, I really like when you tell me I'm good. And like, when you called me a good boy,” Simon said, starting to hide his head under the covers, but Wille was quick to turn him around and take both of his hands in his own. 

 

“What did I do for you?” Wille asked, looking directly into Simon’s eyes. “Me, calling you a good boy. Why did you like it?”

 

“I don’t know why, but I know that it made me feel so proud and loved at the same time. It’s kind of hard to explain, but it just felt so fulfilling to hear the praise!” Simon tried to explain, now looking at his boyfriend. 

 

“And the other stuff?” Wille continued to question. “The umm, the edging and asking for permission? Was that umm, was that okay?” 

 

Simon smiled at his adorable prince who was now looking so shy and unsure of himself that Simon barely believed it was the same person who had moments ago been demanding his submission. 

 

“I liked it. It was new, I’ll tell you that, and umm,” Simon took a deep breath. “I didn’t know I would like this kind of sex, to be honest. It never occurred to me that it was something for me, for us…”

 

“What?” Wille asked, confused. 

 

“Me, submitting to you, Wille,” Simon just said, looking at Wille like he was a fool. 

 

“Ohhh,” Wille finally muttered after a short break. 

 

“Yeah, ohh , dumbass,” Simon laughed and kissed Wille. Sometimes he was just a bit slow at getting things. 

 


SimonErikssonOfficial: Who in the world thinks it’s a good idea to host a wedding in the winter at a ski resort? My dear friends apparently ❤️

 

PinkyBlond OMG! Say congratulations to Stella and Henry! I'm so happy for them

OrangejuiceISgod it looks so beautiful!

MessyMessi And now a pic of you! We deserve that! 

 

+486 more comments 

 

The ceremony was freezing. They had to sit outside in the snow watching the happy couple get married. Simon didn’t bring a nice jacket, so he was just wearing his suit thinking there would be some kind of heating for the guests. He was wrong. There wasn’t. 

 

Wille had looked smugly at him. He had his signature blue wool jacket and a scarf tightly around him throughout the ceremony. It was only about halfway through that the ceremony that he was kind enough to wrap his scarf around Simon’s neck and wrapped his arms around the poor, freezing man, almost pulling him on top of his own lap. 

 

“You are the worst,” Simon whispered.

 

“But you still like me and my scarves,” Wille answered and held Simon a bit tighter. 

 

And Wille was right. Simon really liked the shy, dorky prince.

 

“You have to be fucking kidding me!” Wille exclaimed as he looked at the seating arrangement for the dinner. 

 

“What is it?” Simon asked, looking over Wille’s shoulder. “No fucking way!” 

 

They looked at the round table they were supposed to sit at and saw a smiling Sara and a grumpy-looking August. 

 

“I don’t know if I can sit beside him this whole evening,” Wille muttered as they slowly made their way toward the table. 

 

“Yep, same,” Simon said. “But he is Sara’s plus one. What can we do?” 

 

As they stood beside the table, Simon took the lead and smiled at his sister. 

 

“Hey, Sara,” Simon greeted her. “You look so beautiful. How are you?” 

 

“Simon!” Sara smiled and hugged him. “It’s been so long since I’ve last seen you. You look good yourself. So do you, Wille.” 

 

Wille waved awkwardly at Sara. They had never gotten very close, as much as Simon had first hoped, but now they tolerated each other, which was better than when they had attended Hillerska. 

 

“Wille!” August then exclaimed, squeezing the prince in a crushing hug. “My man! You look good! How is life treating you?” 

 

August didn’t greet Simon, which was actually fine by him. But he could see how Wille tensed and looked more guarded at August. 

 

“August,” he nodded as a greeting once August had let go of him. “I’m fine.” 

 

“Yeah, well that’s good to hear,” August continued, smiling smugly at no one in particular. It looked stupid, Simon thought. “I, myself, am almost ready to write my bachelor’s thesis and then I can continue studying the curriculum before finally getting to run Ärnäs fully.”

 

“It’s going to be so exciting for August, I can’t wait!” Sara chimed in linking her arm with August’s. “I’m so proud of him!” 

 

“But why?” Simon asked without thinking just as they were asked to sit down. 

 

Henry, Felice, Frederika, and Maddison joined their table as well, and before Simon could get an answer to his question Sara got caught up in a conversation with Felice catching up on each other’s lives.

 

“I’ve managed to turn the numbers at Arnäs around in a matter of only three years, all while studying. Sara is over the moon that she doesn’t need to work, but can just stay at home looking out for Sophia,” August filled them in. 

 

“Doesn’t she want to study anything?” Maddison asked in a bored tone.

 

“She doesn't need to,” August just said. “I can provide for us. Our legacy will be grand!” 

 

“What legacy?” Henry snorted, making Simon and Wille laugh a bit too. 

 

“The legacy my father left for me to uphold. You wouldn’t know anything about that. Neither would you, Simon. No offense,” August answered. “But you know what I mean, Wille. Legacy is everything! What you do with important things in life is what you will be remembered by. I will be remembered for turning Arnäs around. I will be great!” 

 

“Can we talk about something else?” Wille asked, looking bored to his very core by August’s boasting. “I really don’t care about what you do with your farm, August. Not when you just keep disregarding Simon and his existence like you always do.” 

 

“Come on, Wille,” August said, surprised. “You know it’s not like that. He is just not, no offense, cut out for the royal life. Not when he keeps fooling around on a stage like a maniac. It’s not respectful towards you, Wille.” 

 

“Umm, offense was taken,” Simon said. “I’ll let you know that I’ve worked my ass off to get to where my career is today. It has taken constant work and dedication from my side to be able to live by making music!” 

 

August was about to say something but was interrupted when the first speech of the evening was announced. 

 

Later in the evening when the dinner was all done and most of the elder guests had gone, Simon lured Wille onto the dance floor with him. He knew Wille wasn’t much of a dancer, but after an afternoon and evening drinking wine and champagne, Simon knew that his boyfriend was much freer and didn’t care that much whether his dance skills excelled or not. Simon started nodding his head up and down in sync with the beat of the music as he pulled Wille out onto the dance floor where they began swaying, and Wille started jumping to the rhythms. It wasn’t long before their friends joined them. Felice danced with Walter, and Stella jumped around together with Maddison, who had flown all the way from New York to attend the wedding. Simon smiled; he was happy. He was having fun at his friend's wedding, together with his super posh boyfriend that just happened to also be a prince, and he loved it. 

 

The music slowed down and everybody slowed down their dancing as well. Simon was surprised by Wille pulling him and holding him so close that not even air could come between their two bodies. 

 

“Hey,” Wille whispered. 

 

“Hey,” Simon whispered back, staring into Wille’s perfect eyes. He knew them so well by now, but sometimes he found that he was still able to get lost in the light brown orbs that glistened with so much love and affection, all directed at him. Wille moved his head toward Simon and kissed him tenderly while swaying them softly to the slow music. 

 

“I love you so much, Simon,” Wille muttered into Simon’s lips. 

 

“I love you too, Wille,” Simon replied back before placing his head on Wille’s shoulder. 

 

After the song ended, the DJ once more put on some more upbeat music, but Simon and Wille just kept swaying slowly from side to side on the dance floor. That was until Walter and Henry jumped them and pulled them away from each other. 

 

“Come on, Wille!” Henry yelled. “Let’s have some fuuuuun!” 

 

He had clearly had some wine throughout the day, too. 

 

“Yeah, don’t be boring and couple-y,” Walter agreed, backing up his friend. 

 

“Shouldn’t you be with your wife?” Wille asked, sending doe eyes toward Simon.

 

Simon smiled at him and mouthed a later before joining in on the conversation. 

 

“I thought it was allowed to be all romantic and in love at weddings,” he said, making the three other men smile at him. 

 

“True, but I still want to have fun,” Henry said, placing an arm around Wille’s shoulder. “Come on, Stella has gone outside to have a cig together with Maddison. Let’s do some shots while she is away!” 

 

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Wille questioned as he was pulled further away from Simon. “I don’t really think that I should have any more to drink tonight.” 

 

“Ohh, come on Wille!” Walter complained. “When did you start being so boring and responsible? Like, when?” 

 

Simon winked at Wille before turning around to find some water for himself and a glass for Wille to drink after the shots. But as he turned around he saw Frederika sitting alone at a table, looking out on the dance floor. He went over to her and sat down beside the lonely girl.

 

“Hey, you,” he said, softly. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Hey, Simon,” Frederika started, looking at him with a sad smile. “I guess I’m okay. It’s not like I’m in love with her any longer or anything like that, but still. It feels weird to be here at their wedding when their relationship has caused me so much heartache.” 

 

“Mmm, I could imagine that,” Simon answered. 

 

“But I am happy. Stella and I are still great friends and all. It’s just kind of… I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here,” Frederika laughed dully. 

 

“But I think that I get what you mean,” Simon answered, taking her hand in his. “Someday there will be someone for you, too. You just have to put yourself out there and… I don’t know… Let it happen.” 

 

“Simon, dearest,” Frederika said, now smiling. “You’ve been with the same guy ever since you were 16 years old. What do you know about putting yourself out there?” 

 

“Hey! I’ll let you know I was a nervous wreck the day I met Wille for the first time!” Simon said, a bit offended. 

 

“Did you know?” Frederika didn’t have to say what she was really asking.

 

“Not when we agreed on seeing each other, but as soon as Feliece walked towards us with Wille following her, I knew it was him. I kind of freaked out a bit but then when we met at the palace, the one at Hillerska, not Drottningholm, he was so nervous too. He was so adorable!”  

 

“No way. Wille, at 16 years old, was not adorable, Simon. He was so closed off and awkward,” Frederika said, amazed by what Simon had just told her. “How in the world did he woo you?”

 

“He had already wooed me before we met,” Simon laughed. “And he was never closed off toward me. Never. I remember that I thought that he looked so pretty that I didn’t know what to do with myself. We ended up just walking for a bit, holding hands.” 

 

“How scandalous of you!” Frederika gasped, faking surprise. 

 

“Shut up! It was a very wild moment for the 16 year-old me, I’ll let you know,” Simon laughed. 

 

“Hey, what are you two talking about?” Wille suddenly asked from behind Simon.

 

“The two of you,” Frederika said and smiled innocently toward Wille. 

 

“What?” Wille asked, looking at Simon with big eyes.

 

“Relax, love,” Simon smiled at his boyfriend. “I only reminisced about the day we met for the first time and walked hand-in-hand through the forest at Hillerska.”

 

“Ohh, that is one of my favorite memories!” Wille excitedly said, placing himself in Simon’s lap and swinging his arms around the smaller man. “I thought that you had the most perfect and soft hands I had ever held. I still do!” 

 

“Really?” Simon looked at Wille. 

 

“Mmm, really,” Wille assured Simon before stealing a kiss.

 

“Okay, I’m going to go before the two of you become more sickening than you are now,” Frederika laughed and disappeared from the table, joining Maddison and Stella, who nodded inside again, on the dance floor. 

 

“You looked good in that Lucia dress,” Simon smiled up at Wille.

 

“Ha, now that’s a lie, Simon. I didn’t look good in that dress at all!” Wille laughed.

 

“You always look good, Wille,” Simon said. “Always have.” 

 

“Can we get out of here now?” Wille asked. His eyes had turned slightly darker than they normally were. Simon knew what that meant. 

 

“Sure,” Simon said. “I guess we can.” 

 

They stood up and found Frederika and Henry and gave their goodnights and once more congratulated the newlywed couple before walking toward their cabin, hand-in-hand, giggling like lovesick teenagers. 

 

Back in the cabin, they dropped down to their bed once they went into their room, giggling over something neither of them could remember anymore. When the giggles faded, Simon could feel Wille’s hand move down his face in a gentle caress. 

 

“Do you remember the first time you visited me at Hillerska?” Wille suddenly asked. 

 

“Do I remember? How can I ever forget how I had to sneak into your room through a window?” Simon laughed at Wille. “Yes, I remember.” 

 

“I was so nervous that I barely slept the night before,” Wille confessed. “I was sure that you wouldn’t have anything to do with me once you actually got to know me and how complicated my life was and always will be. I texted Erik like mad that night and I guess if it wasn’t for him, I would have canceled on you.” 

 

“No way! Wille, you wouldn't have…” Simon said in disbelief. 

 

“Simon, I was so, so nervous and already so smitten with you that I actually had no idea what to do with myself,” Wille said honestly. 

 

“I guess I have to send some flowers to Erik then,” Simon added. “As a thank you for not letting his little brother cancel our first date.” 

 

“Hahaha, you think you’re so funny, Simon,” Wille said dryly. “Here I am, pouring my fragile heart out and you are just making fun of me.” 

 

“Ohh come on, Wille. It’s a bit funny to think back about,” Simon smiled at him and placed a gentle kiss on his nose. “You were so antisocial and nervous but also so pretty. God, I remember that I thought you were the prettiest thing I had ever seen! I was so gone for you since the moment we met.” 

 

“Seriously? You were into my awkwardness?” Wille joked. “Guess I have to ditch the friends and start being more nervous and introverted again. If that’s what my man likes I better make sure he gets that.” 

 

“OMG, Wille. You make it sound so bad. I liked you just as you are. I really love the man you have grown to become,” Simon said, sliding his hands through Wille’s hair. “Now kiss me before either of us say more stupid stuff.” 

 

“So needy!” Wille mumbled before complying with Simon’s wishes. 



     

SimonErikssonOfficial Two of my best friends, back from Hillerska, just got married. Congrats! Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

 

ThatWOne OMG, you did not!

FeliceE <3<3<3<3 Love this so much!

PinkyBlond Those were the good old days huh? <3<3<3 Miss our time at Hillerska

GingerH @PinkyBlond Giiirl you were not a part of that! 

SimonsWiif I can’t believe we only got one pic with you…

 

+1542 more comments

 

The next morning Simon woke up to the sound of his alarm going off. For some strange reason, Stella and Henry had decided that it would be an awesome idea to have brunch with their guests at 10:30. It was a crazy idea and one Simon hated even more than he first had when the alarm went off. Groggily he turned it off and rolled out of bed so he could find the bathroom to relieve himself and take a much-needed shower. It wasn’t like he and Wille had left the party very late, but they had spent a good amount of time reminiscing about their days back at Hillerska and been up late anyhow.

 

Wille

Where are you?

 

Simon

Shower - I needed one.

 

Wille

Okay.

 

Simon

Are you up?

 

There was a knock on the door, which startled Simon so much that he almost dropped his phone. 

 

“Simon, open the door,” Wille’s voice was heard from the hallway.

 

“Can’t you use the bathroom downstairs?” Simon said back. “I’m stepping into the shower right now.”

 

“God, damn it, Simon. Just let me in!” Wille complained. 

 

“It really would be much easier if you just went downstairs,” Simon informed him as he unlocked the door to let Wille into the bathroom. 

 

When the door was locked safely again, Simon got rid of his boxers and walked into the now hot spray from the shower. He could hear Wille relieve himself before flushing the toilet and going to the sink. This wasn’t new. They often shared the bathroom at home like this. 

Simon started humming a tune to an old Carola song while Wille started brushing his teeth. This wasn’t new either. It was just them getting ready to face the day like any other day. Simon closed his eyes and let the water rinse through his curls and down his face and body. He lost himself in the hot sensation that rejuvenated his tired body. 

 

And then suddenly Wille was flush behind Simon, pressing his body up against Simon’s back, wrapping his arms around Simon’s torso, kissing his earlobe with gentle kisses. He hadn’t heard Wille take off his clothes or enter the shower. 

 

“Morning,” Wille mumbled into his ear. 

 

“Morning love,” Simon said. “Did you sleep well?” 

 

“Mmm, yes,” Wille answered, reaching for their shared travel shampoo. “Close your eyes, love. I’m going to wash your hair.” 

 

Simon did as he was told and closed his eyes while leaning his body up against Wille. Wille slowly worked the shampoo into Simon’s hair, massaging his scalp while working the soap around. It felt lovely.

 

“I was thinking about something, Simon,” Wille then said. 

 

“Yeah?” Simon replied cheerily. “What about?” 

 

Wille let his head rest on Simon’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around Simon once more, shampoo still in Simon’s hair. 

 

“I was thinking that we should get married,” Wille smiled into Simon’s shoulder. 

 

The water turned cold. They had used all the hot water in the water tank. The girls would probably be mad at them. 

 

“No,” Simon said, shampoo dripping down into his eyes. 

Notes:

You can always reach out to me here in the comments but also on Twitter @krogagerM

I hope I didn't break anyone this time around....

Chapter 40: Chapter 40

Summary:

“Ohh, shut up, will you!” Wille laughed. “When you were 16 years old you had no idea what royals actually do and don’t. You just thought we sit in a castle all day long using taxpayers’ money as we please.”

“That!” Simon said, faking offense. “That is actually rather true. I had no idea how much you guys work. I guess I’ve grown wiser and older by now.” 

Notes:

Last chapter - How are we all feeling? I'm a bit emotional here.

I added the link to my Pinterest Board for this story if anyone is interested.

I plan on writing some one shots with “deleted scenes” as a part two, but I’m not sure when the right time for me to start with those are… so…

Yep, enjoy <3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Sitting on the flight with Wille sleeping by his side, Simon couldn’t help but smile. Their life had turned out quite unexpectedly. Here he was, with his partner through life, sleeping by his side, snoring slightly, on their way to Venezuela to visit his grandmother before he had a small Latin American tour.

 

Wille was still wearing the ring Simon had given him for his birthday all those years ago when Wille turned 19 years old. Actually, Wille rarely took it off and it secretly made Simon immensely happy that Wille would wear the ring as some kind of symbol – a token of their love, his love.

 

Yes, he had said no to getting married to Wille, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t love Wille with all his being and didn’t mean that he didn’t want to spend his life with Wille. Marriage was just not something for him. It wasn’t an institution he believed in and he didn’t think that would change.  

 

He had tried to explain it to Wille after Stella and Henry’s wedding. Wille had proposed to him in the shower, while Simon had shampoo all over his head, and Simon had said no. It had sucked all the air out of the room and triggered Wille’s anxiety enormously. As if it wasn’t enough that the water had turned cold at that moment too, Wille had instantly distanced himself from Simon, looking at him with so much deep hurt in his eyes that Simon almost reversed his answer. He had almost agreed to get married just because of how broken Wille had looked. But the soap that got into his eyes had cleared his head and reminded him of what was important: communication. He had to talk to Wille and explain where he was coming from and not just leave it as a simple no.

 

Carefully he had gotten Wille out of the shower and wrapped him in a towel before finding one for himself as well. Then they had just sat on the bathroom floor, breathing in and out together, looking at each other, until Wille was finally okay to speak. Simon had placed his hand on Wille’s chest, knowing that it would calm him down. It usually did. The two of them were breathing together. In the past, Wille being able to feel Simon and his touch had helped calm him. Simon hoped it would work now as well. 

 

“I just don’t understand why?” Wille had said, brokenhearted. “Is it because of last winter? I thought we had worked past that, Simon. I thought that we were on the same page.” 

 

“God, no! It’s not because of that, love,” Simon had hurried to reassure Wille. “But you know how I feel about marriage and that hasn’t changed. I love you! I want to be with you! But I don’t want to marry you in a ritual intended for cis people who believe in a God that I don’t even know if I believe in.” 

 

“But, you’ll never… We will never,” Wille took a deep breath, sinking into Simon’s side. “We will never be able to attend anything official together unless we get married. I want you by my side at the next royal event that I need to attend. I want to show you, show us, to everybody.”

 

“But we are already showing our love to everybody, Wille,” Simon reasoned. “We are not hiding; we live together, we shop for groceries together… We are as together as they come, love.” 

 

“But, Simon,” Wille whined. “We can never officially be together. Not the way I want to be together with you. What about next time we have to attend a christening? When Erik and Tindra have their second child and we have to go separately and sit in different places because we are not married? That will be humiliating, kind of.”

 

“I know, but we’ll just have to cross that bridge once we get there,” Simon tried to reason with Wille. “I’m sure the court can’t prevent us from showing up together after years of being in a committed relationship. We live together for crying out loud!” 

 

“They don’t care about that, Simon,” Wille huffed. “They only care about our reputation and how it all looks to the public. No one in court cares about us as individuals with goals, needs, and desires in life. Nobody!” 

 

“You are being a bit dramatic now, Wille,” Simon smiled, kissing Wille softly. “But I see where you are coming from. I just don’t want to go against my beliefs. I already budged when it came to my perception of what royals actually bring to the table for Sweden; please don’t make me change this, too!” 

 

“Ohh, shut up, will you!” Wille laughed. “When you were 16 years old you had no idea what royals actually do and don’t. You just thought we sit in a castle all day long using taxpayers’ money as we please.” 

 

“That!” Simon said, faking offense. “That is actually rather true. I had no idea how much you guys work. I guess I’ve grown wiser and older by now.” 

 

“Mmm, I like you wiser and older,” Wille mumbled. “Let’s get up. Brunch starts soon.”

 

“Okay, but just answer me honestly,” Simon said. “Who in their right mind schedules a brunch together with their guests the day after they’ve been married?” 

 

“Well, not us,” Wille said before adding. “Because we are apparently never getting married.” 

 

Simon looked at Wille with an open mouth because he did not know how to come back after that comment and instead of replying he simply opened the door and walked toward their bedroom to find something to wear, Wille following behind him. 

 

“You are so dramatic sometimes, you know that?” Simon added before going through his suitcase, smiling fondly at his dramatic boyfriend. 

 

The first half of the year had flown by and now it was the start of June. They had planned their trip to Venezuela for quite some time scheduling everything based on Wille’s exams and Simon’s tour. It left them with only 10 days together in Venezuela, but it was enough time for them to escape the whole media circus that would unfold the same day that they took off to Venezuela. It was all very carefully planned and curated. Even Kristina had given her blessing to the idea after some discussion. It was big – both the royal PR team and Simon’s PR team had coordinated. It was something that Sweden had never seen before from the royal family – maybe even from any royal family at all. 

 

Some time had passed since Stella and Henry’s wedding, and Wille and Simon had gone back to their normal busy December schedule. They had spent Christmas together with each of their families, but New Year’s was spent together in Berlin. It had been just the two of them walking around under the radar. People in Berlin didn’t care about them. They didn’t care about them being a same-sex couple. They didn’t care that Simon wasn’t white, and they didn’t care that they acted silly and in love. 

 

On New Year’s Eve, they had seen a musical in the evening before heading out for dinner at a tiny establishment that was supposed to remind them of a beer garden. It was nothing fancy or anything like that, but it was an experience nevertheless. The food was good, the staff was friendly, and everybody was having a good time. After their meal they had walked hand-in-hand down Brandenburger Tor together with everybody else in Berlin, it seemed. They had watched the small performances on the small stages that were placed all around the street and they had shared a giant pretzel just before midnight. 

 

As midnight struck and the fireworks went off they watched the glowing sky above them while tangled in each other’s arms. It was lovely. Perfect even, if you asked Simon.

 

The next morning, before they went down to the dining room to eat breakfast, Simon finally gathered enough courage to talk to Wille about something that had been on his mind ever since their friend’s wedding in December. 

 

“Wille?” Simon asked while putting on his socks. He opted for a casual approach to this conversation. 

 

“Yeah?” Wille answered, toothpaste all over his face. 

 

“I’ve been thinking about something,” Simon continued, taking a deep breath, and turning around to look at Wille while holding one sock in his hand. 

 

“Ohh?” Wille just said, stopping his brushing. 

 

“Yeah, so… ever since you asked if I wanted to marry you,” Simon started, nervously fidgeting with his one sock.

 

“I get it. It’s not for you,” Wille hurriedly interrupted Simon, walking back to the bathroom to spit out some toothpaste. Wille clearly didn’t want to revisit this conversation because he still wanted to marry Simon. Simon wasn’t stupid. He knew that, but he needed Wille to hear what had been on his mind. 

 

“It isn’t, but,” Simon walked after Wille, wrapping his arms around the prince once he reached him. “I was thinking that maybe, if you would like to, maybe we could like… get registered as partners?” 

 

“What?” Wille said dumbfounded, turning around in Simon’s arms to look at him. “Are you serious?” 

 

Simon smiled up at Wille, just taking him in for a moment. His hair was a mess, his mouth was still full of toothpaste, and his eyes looked tired. He looked perfect to Simon, though… he always did. 

 

“Yes, I mean. We surely would need to talk with your mother about it, but…” Simon smiled at Wille. “I mean it. I’m sure.” 

   

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Wille said, big eyes looking at Simon. “Are you for real?” 

 

“Yes,” Simon smiled at Wille. 

 

“Okay,” Wille smiled down at him.

 

“Okay!” Simon repeated before capturing Wille’s lips in a crushing kiss, toothpaste, and the one sock he was holding be damned. They were going to get registered!   

 

They didn’t make it down to the dining hall in time for breakfast that morning, since they were way too occupied by other activities in their room.

 

“I’m so nervous, you have no idea, Simon,” Wille complained to his boyfriend, his partner, as they waited to enter the Queen’s office. They had requested an audience with her, so all parties involved in the upcoming meeting knew it would be an important and official meeting. 

 

“And you think that I’m not?” Simon said, staring wide-eyed at Wille. “It’s me your mom doesn’t like!”

 

“Well, she doesn’t like me that much either,” Wille shrugged. 

 

“That’s not true, Wilhelm,” The Queen’s voice was heard behind them. 

 

“Mama!” Wille said nervously, turning around to look at the woman standing at the door opening. 

 

“Wilhelm, Simon. Let’s get inside my office so we can talk in private,” the Queen just said, leading the way into her office. 

 

Wille took Simon’s hand and they walked into what felt like the lion’s den. 

 

Once all three of them were inside and seated, the Queen sat still and quietly, looking at the two young men, waiting for them to take the lead. Simon hadn’t seen her much since their graduation and Wille still avoided her as much as he could even though they kept a professional relationship. 

 

“Mama, we wanted to inform you about something,” Wille started, sounding very calm, even though he was squeezing Simon’s hand as if it was a lifeline. 

 

“Inform me about something? That sounds like something I need to be afraid of,” the Queen answered with a small smile. 

 

“No, not afraid. Not per se,” Wille continued, looking at Simon quickly before returning his attention to his mother. “Simon and I have decided to get registered as partners.”

 

“Ohh,” the Queen just said, taken aback a bit. “Congratulations is in order, then.” 

 

“What?!” Simon exclaimed. He didn’t believe his own ears. “Aren’t you going to find a way to convince Wille that it is a bad idea?” 

 

“No, I’m not, Simon,” the Queen said, looking at him with a question in her eyes. “Why would I do that?”

 

“I… it’s… for our entire relationship you have…” Simon was at a loss for words but luckily Wille stepped in. 

 

“I think we both just expected a fight here today, Mama. You haven’t exactly been welcoming or supportive of our relationship the whole time we’ve been together,” the prince explained. 

 

“It might not seem like it, Wilhelm,” the Queen started, “But I have had both of your interests in mind with every decision I’ve made for you.”

 

“I find that hard to believe,” Simon snorted, having found his words again. “You tried to split us up on multiple occasions! Don’t try to tell me that you wanted what was best for us.

 

“Is that so?” The Queen asked, challenging. 

 

“Mama, when Erik was in that accident you forbade me from seeing Simon. I wasn’t even allowed to text him!” Wille said sternly from his chair. “How was that not trying to split us up?”

 

“Now, Wilhelm, that is simply not fair,” the Queen started. “When Erik was in hospital your Papa and I tried our best to prepare for the possibility that you might have to take over the role of Crown Prince permanently. Simon had a really tough time after the picture was leaked earlier that same year. Neither of you would have benefitted from staying together under the kind of pressure that you were both under. You would have grumbled at each other and become more dependent on each other’s presence than you already were. It would not have been healthy for either of you, and you wouldn’t have been prepared for your new role if Erik had passed away.”

 

There was a short pause where no one said anything. It was the Queen who broke the silence. 

 

“Erik had told me that Simon wished to make music, be an artist, and whatnot. That would not have been an option for him if you had become the Crown Prince. The Court would not have accepted it,” she said before she was interrupted by Simon’s dark laughter. The Queen sighed deeply. 

 

“It has nothing to do with me not liking you and what you do, Simon. But I am not the Court. I do not decide every single thing myself,” she explained as she looked at Simon expectantly. 

 

“Look, I really don’t know what to say,” Simon finally said. “I want to live my life together with Wille, as equals. But we do not wish to get married. That’s not…” Simon paused and looked at Wille who smiled back at him. 

 

“That’s not something for us, Mama,” Wille continued for Simon. “But we wish to get registered as partners and have that count the same as a marriage would from the Court’s perspective. I wish to make Simon my equal in all aspects of my life.”

 

“Very well,” the Queen sighed and opened her laptop. “Let’s get this planned. Should we call in the others?”

 

Wille nodded, a dopey smile on his lips. Simon didn’t know what was going on. Who was the Queen talking about? Before he had a chance to ask, the door to the office opened and several people stepped into the room. 

 

“Very well,” the Queen started. “Wilhelm and Simon wish to be registered as partners. Jan-Olof, I need you to find out how we do that and whether we will run into any problems with the law by doing this. Minou, we need to make an official press release and sort out a guest list for the banquet…”

 

“NO!” Simon suddenly yelled, making everybody turn to look at him. “No guest list and such. We umm… We were thinking… that we actually only want to do the press release but nothing more.”

 

“But,” the Queen started. 

 

“No, Mama” Wille cut her short. “We are doing it our way: Two official statements confirming that we are partners now and then nothing more. One from me and one from Simon. We don’t want anything grand, or big, or extravagant. We just want to be together.”

 

“Very well,” the Queen said, sounding exhausted. “Simon, if I may give you any advice?” 

 

Simon looked at her dumbfounded, not knowing what to say. 

 

“Get your PR team in on this too. Make sure to do it right. You have to control the narrative. You and Wilhelm both. This will be big and there will be a lot of opinions on your partnership. Not just here in Sweden but from all over the world.” 

 

“Umm, okay?” Simon just said not knowing what was happening. 

 

“Good,” the Queen sighed, clapping her hands together. “Minou and Jan-Olof will be at your disposal and help you with this, but I’ll let the two of you sort it all out as you wish. Remember to talk about possible titles for Simon, monograms, and all of that. Wilhelm, you know the drill. I will need to look at the statement before you publish anything, but other than that, I will stay out of this.”

 

It felt like their meeting was about done. Staff was walking out of the office telling Wilhelm, Simon, and the Queen to let them know if they were needed for anything. Minou had informed Simon that he could pass on her phone number to his PR team and that they would work on a joint statement from there. Simon just nodded in confirmation, feeling a bit overwhelmed seeing the whole royal machine working its bits and parts. And what was that about titles? He didn’t need a title. He didn’t want one. Why should they talk about that then?

 

As they stood up from their seats, still hand-in-hand, Wille looked at his mother with a baffled look in his eyes.

 

“Why Mama?” he just asked, looking at her.

 

“You have to clarify your question, Wilhelm,” the Queen answered, sounding slightly annoyed at the unclear question. 

 

“Why are you letting us do this our way?” Wille whispered, moving closer to Simon. Was he afraid of his mother? Of the way she just agreed to it all? Simon agreed that it was very unlike Kristina to be this compliant, but he didn’t think that was the reason why Wille seemed so nervous.

 

“Wilhelm, you are a grown man. The two of you wish to do this and if that is how you want to live your lives, neither your father nor I will stand in your way. We never have. We supported you back when the first picture was leaked and we will now as well. Just think things through before you do anything on a whim, please.” 

 

“Okay, yeah,’ Wille said all bleary-eyed. His eyes were filled with tears, and Simon couldn’t figure out if they were sad tears or happy tears. 

 

Simon slowly pulled Wille backward toward the door leading out of her office. When they were outside and the door was shut, Wille finally gave in to his feelings. He dropped his arms around Simon and let his tears fall. The shorter man was taken aback. He didn’t quite know what to do with the crying prince in his arms because he couldn’t pinpoint the feelings behind the tears. 

 

In the end, he decided that they needed more privacy and guided them toward a room they hadn’t been in for years – Wille’s old bedroom. 

 

Simon hadn’t been in that room since the time the Queen had barged in, locked door be damned. It looked exactly like it had the last time he was here. Nothing had changed with the arrangement of the furniture. The room was very clean, and it looked well taken care of like someone was still living there. It felt strange to be back in the room that he had spent so much time in yet wasn’t comfortable being in anymore. It didn’t feel like Wille’s safe place anymore, like his home. Their apartment was their safe haven now, and no fancy castle or furniture could change that. They had built their home together in a strange mix of plants, books, musical instruments, IKEA furniture, and some rare pieces of more expensive furniture. It was chaotic, messy, and so lovely and Simon didn’t want it to be anything different. 

 

“How are you, Wille?” Simon asked when they were in the room. 

 

“I don’t know,” Wille answered truthfully. “I would have thought she would have been more... I don’t know. Against it? Against us?”

 

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Simon said, hugging Wille tight to his chest. “But are you okay?” 

 

“I guess; I’m just so relieved, Simon. I want this, us, so much,” Wille looked down at Simon. 

 

“Me too, Wille,” Simon smiled up at him. “I love you so much.” 

 

Their lips met in a tender kiss, celebrating what felt like a big win. They were going to be together forever and right now nothing could come between them or the happiness and wholeness Simon felt inside.  

 

“Please come lie with me,” Wille requested once their lips had parted. Simon happily followed Wille’s steps toward the bed that still stood in the middle of the room. 

 

——

 

Wille made a muffled noise in his sleep and moved closer to Simon, hiding his face in Simon’s hoodie, breathing in the scent of Simon in his sleep.

 

Simon kissed Wille on the head before closing his own eyes. It was a good idea to get some sleep before they landed in Venezuela. It had been years since Simon had been there, and even though he had seen and chatted with his grandmother and the rest of his family from Venezuela through FaceTime, he was still a bit nervous about seeing them in real life again. He tried to hide his nervousness from Wille because he was nervous as well. But Simon hadn’t quite succeeded, so they had agreed to be nervous together.

 

It had eased their nerves a bit when Linda had told them that she could take a trip there as well. By now she had already been in Venezuela for 5 days, since she was free to leave sooner than Simon and Wille due to Wille’s exams. 

“We should tell my mom before she hears it from somewhere else,” Simon said as he lay in Wille’s arms, sweaty, relaxed, and used. 

 

“Mmhmm, she would probably be appreciative of that,” Wille agreed. 

 

“Appreciative - who uses that word, Wille?” Simon snorted. 

 

“I use it, Simon,” Wille defended. “I’ll have you know that it’s a very normal word.” 

 

“When does a normal person use that word?” Simon challenged.

 

“Well, you were very appreciative of my very hard work moments ago,” Wille smiled. The comment made Simon laugh and look up at Wille. 

 

“That was not even an answer to my question, Wille,” Simon managed. “Aren’t you the one who is supposed to be the clever one between the two of us? Since you’ve been to university and all?” 

 

“Shut up, Simon,” Wille laughed, kissing Simon lovingly. 

 

When they had called and asked Linda if they could visit her the following weekend she had happily agreed to the visit. It had been some time since they had seen each other and even though Simon called her every week it wasn’t the same as seeing her in person.

 

“Simon, Wilhelm!” she exclaimed when she opened the door to her house. “Come in! Ohhh, it’s so good to see the two of you!” 

 

“Gracias, Mama,” Simon smiled into the hug she was holding him in. “Te he extrañado.”

 

“Mi bebé,” Linda sighed. “He estado aquí todo el tiempo. Sabes que siempre puedes visitarme.” 

 

“Si, I know that. There has just been so much,” Simon answered his mom.

 

“Hola, Linda,” Wille said from behind Simon causing Linda to let go of her son and send a smile toward Wille. Even though they were on speaking terms, Linda and Wille had never managed to become close. It was probably due to the rocky start of their relationship where Linda had thought Wille somehow had misused her son in some horrific way. 

 

“Hello, Wilhelm. How are you?” Linda asked, switching back to Swedish for the sake of Wille, even though he understood Spanish fairly well by now. 

 

“I’m great actually,” Wille smiled at Simon’s mother before walking into the entrance and following Simon and Linda into the living room where coffee and cookies were waiting for them. 

 

“It looks lovely, Linda! You shouldn’t have. We could have bought something on our way or something,” Wille said, forever the gentleman he was. 

 

“No, we couldn’t!” Simon said, clearly offended. “I really miss Mama’s cooking. I want to eat her food for this entire weekend, Wille. That includes cookies as well.” 

 

“Jesus, would you relax,” Wille said as he sat down on the sofa. It was the same as it had been when they were at Hillerska. “I was trying to be polite, Simon.”

 

“Hey, no need to argue boys,” Linda said firmly from the armchair she was sitting in. “It was sweet of you to offer that Wilhelm, but it was no trouble at all for me to bake these cookies. I had some dough in the freezer, so all I needed to do was to let it defrost a little and then put it in the oven.” 

 

“Really?” Wille asked, amazed. “You can do that?”

 

“Are you for real right now, Wille?” Simon asked, teasingly. “Mama just told you she did it. Of course, you can do it.” 

 

“Shut up, Simon,” Wille hissed again. He was always slightly nervous around Linda and Simon could imagine that today was no exception. Especially not with the reason they were there to speak with her. Wille then changed his look and started looking at Simon with intense eyes. Simon knew they had agreed to tell Linda as soon as they arrived not wanting to hide anything from her, but he suddenly felt nervous. What if Linda didn’t approve, what if she still didn’t trust Wille completely, what if?

 

“We’re actually here because we want to tell you something, Linda,” Wille interrupted Simon’s thoughts. 

 

“Ohh, is that so?” Linda said surprised. 

 

“Yeah, so. The thing is. Wille and I have decided to get registered as partners,” Simon said hurriedly, ripping the band-aid off.

 

“Ohh,” Linda said. You could see what she was thinking. “Congratulations, sweetheart. That is so lovely!” 

 

Her tone wasn’t fake per se, but Simon knew his mother, and he could tell that there was something she wasn’t saying. But he didn’t want to ruin the moment right now. He would ask her later – maybe when Wille was in the bathroom or something. 

 

The talk went on and they actually had a lovely day catching up with each other’s lives and playing Trivial Pursuit. Simon lost, but he hadn’t expected anything else. What surprised him was how close the game was between Linda and Wille. In the end, Linda won the game, closely followed by Wille. 

 

“Okay, okay, the two of you should go for a walk and enjoy the lovely spring weather. I’ll start on supper,” Linda smiled at them. “Supper will be ready in about an hour's time; be sure to be home by then!” 

 

“Yeah, sure. Okay,” Simon mumbled, getting up from the sofa and dragging Wille along with him. Outside the Eriksson house, Wille gladly took Simon’s hand and they started to walk a familiar route that they had walked quite often as teenagers. 

 

“Wille?” Simon suddenly asked after a while. 

 

“Yeah?” Wille answered with a smile.

 

“Do you think we will change once we get registered?” Simon asked nervously. 

 

“I don’t know, Simon,” Wille answered honestly. “I hope not. I like where we are right now. Honest communication, having things and interests together but also apart. We are good right now. Aren’t we?”

 

“I would say that. We are good right now,” Simon echoed Wille, stopping them in front of a building – their old pizzeria. “You want to have a soda or something before we head back?”

 

“Sure, but just a soda,” Wille agreed. “Linda would kill both of us if we are full when we get back to her." 

 

Simon kissed him gently before opening the door and walking into the pizzeria. It was fairly busy at this time of day. People were waiting for their takeout orders or were sitting at the few tables inside eating their pizzas and whatnot. The young couple found a table in a corner and Simon went up to the front counter to order a Coke for himself and a lime soda for Wille.  

He made it all the way back to their table with their drinks before he was addressed by a young woman who looked about their age. 

 

“OMG, I can’t believe this!” a familiar voice said from not too far away. “Simon Eriksson? Is that really you?” 

 

“Stephanie!” Simon exclaimed. “Ohh wow, it has been so long since I’ve seen you.” 

 

“Well, you kind of cut all contact with your friends at Marieberg once you relocated to that fine-ass boarding school,” his old classmate answered dryly. 

 

“Yeah, things were not going that great for me at Marieberg,” Simon tried to explain. “I didn’t feel like I needed to keep contact with people who take pictures of me only to give them to the tabloids.”

 

“Yeah, about that…” Stephanie didn’t get a chance to say anymore because she was interrupted by an annoyed prince. 

 

“Don’t forget that it was the toxic attention Simon got back at Marieberg that made him leave,” Wille spoke up in a defensive voice. “All the students wanted to know about his personal business like it somehow had become knowledge everybody was entitled to know.”

 

Stephanie looked at the prince with wide eyes. 

 

“Wille, stop. It’s okay,” Simon tried to explain to his boyfriend, but Wille wasn’t having it.

 

“It is not okay, Simon!” Wille hissed before turning his attention toward Simon’s old lab partner. “Because of how toxic that school was Simon’s mental health was affected! Did you know that? He was depressed and not just like some teenagers feel depressed from time to time. We are talking about the real deal here. It haunted him for months. Even now there are traces of the effect your actions had on Simon’s life. Even now we have to deal with them.”

 

“I’m…I didn’t…look, Simon. I’m so sorry, but I didn’t know any better at that time,” Stephanie started. “I was just 16 years old for crying out loud!” 

 

“Well, so were we, Stephanie,” Simon said with a sad expression. “You read my personal texts, you never once stood up for me when Sebastian or anybody else for that matter talked shit about me or Wille. You did nothing. I was 16 years old too, and people were calling me a fucking whore! A plaything…”

 

Wille reached his hand across the table and captured Simon’s in his, squeezing it. It was their way of comfort when words couldn’t be spoken. 

 

“I don’t want to come off as a prick, Stephanie,” Wille calmly said, eyes darting between the young woman and Simon. “But silent acceptance of those kinds of actions that were done to Simon was just as bad.” 

 

“Stephanie, I’m sorry but I have to be rude,” Simon cut in. “I'm asking you to leave.” 

 

“But I’m waiting for my pizza!” Stephanie whined.

 

“Please wait somewhere else in the restaurant then,” Wille quickly said. “I don’t think your presence here is doing anything good.” 

 

Stephanie only nodded and reluctantly found an open spot at the other end of the restaurant. 

 

“Are you okay, love?” Wille asked before taking a sip of his soda while stroking Simon’s hand absentmindedly with his thumb. 

 

“I think so. It just…  It brought up a lot of memories, you know,” Simon tried to explain himself. “It was really messed up at Marieberg after that stupid picture was leaked. All the comments. The looks. I have no idea how I managed to get through it all, Wille.”

 

“You managed because you were, and still are, so very brave and fierce. You believe in good things and in the good in people. You know yourself and your limits, and I respect you so much for that, Simon. Always have!” Wille answered him truthfully. 

 

“Okay,” Simon said, smacking his hand down the table and clearly startling Wille a bit. “Let's get out of here before you make me cry with all your sweet words and before we are late for supper!” 

 

“Yeah okay,” Wille smiled. “Why do I feel like we are back at Hillerska again?” 

 

Laughing they went out of the pizzeria hand-in-hand.

 

“Simon,  ohh,” Wille’s voice was a low rasp, filling the dark room with what was music to Simon’s ears. 

 

He let his head bob up and down Wille’s cock. Let his tongue caress its head, the small salty slit before swirling it down and around his shaft.

 

Wille wasn’t one to make a lot of noise in the bedroom – not like Simon did – so whenever Simon was able to make Wille make even the smallest sound it made him so immensely proud. Because yes, he was proud of being able to please his boyfriend – partner – like this.  

 

“Stop, stop, stop, Simon,” Wille then huffed. “Simon you have to stop or else…” 

 

Simon took his mouth off Wille’s cock with a loud pop before smiling up at his prince. 

 

“That good?” Simon teased from his place between Wille’s legs. 

 

“Umm, yeah!” Wille deadpanned, capturing Simon’s lips in a needy kiss. “That good!” 

 

Simon smiled into their kiss and slowly crawled up into his old bed, careful not to break their kiss. Kissing Wille would never get boring because Wille poured every inch of emotion into his kisses. It was so easy to feel how Wille was feeling when kissing him. Or maybe it was just Simon being so in tune with everything concerning Wille by now.  

 

Wille pressed Simon down into the mattress, covering his smaller body with his own. It felt like he was trying to connect every part of their bodies as close to each other as humanly possible. Without notice, Wille pushed his hips down against Simon. It made Simon let out a loud moan.

 

“Shhh, you have to be quiet, love. We don’t want anyone to walk in on us again,” Wille whispered. “Hands above your head.” 

 

Wille kissed Simon messily while guiding his arms above his own head with gentle, yet firm hands. Somewhere in all this heat Simon had the brain capacity to think that Linda wouldn’t dare to walk in on them (again), but he still did his best to keep every sound inside himself.    

 

“You are so beautiful, Simon,” Wille whispered into Simon’s lips before moving his kisses down Simon’s jawline, neck, and shoulders. It sent shivers through Simon’s whole body, his head started to spin and he really, really tried to keep all of his noises to himself. 

 

“Wille,” Simon started to complain, when his boyfriend, partner, just kept kissing and teasing him without actually moving on to something else.

 

“I’m busy, love,” Wille just said in between kisses, continuing to map out Simon’s body. “I’ve got a plan here. So keep quiet!” 

 

“What do you want to do?” Simon whispered into the dark room, hoping he was looking somewhat at Wille who was somewhere down on his body, licking his abs.

 

“Ohh, umm, I don’t know,” Wille mumbled, sounding a bit shy now. 

 

“Come one, babe. You’re thinking of something,” Simon continued, pulling Wille up by his hair and finding his lips. 

 

“I umm… would you like to like… ride me? Perhaps? You don’t have to, it’s just like something…” Wille mumbled into their kiss. 

 

“Wille OMG, shut up,” Simon laughed, feeling all bubbly inside.

 

Wille pulled back from their kiss to look at Simon before turning him around so he was on top of Wille. 

 

“Can I watch?” Wille whispered suddenly, gaining some more confidence. 

 

"What?" Simon had no idea what Wille was talking about. 

 

“Can I watch while you're getting ready?” Wille’s voice was thick with something undefined. Lust? Want? Love? 

 

Simon didn’t know what to answer so he just scrambled his way to their luggage to fetch the needed supplies. He could hear Wille moving around on the bed and then a night light was turned on caressing the room in a soft orange glow. 

 

“I want to see you,” Wille mumbled in a low voice. Simon just smiled at him before returning to the bed, placing himself in front of Wille. Slowly he opened the lid and squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. 

 

It was strange how this felt more intimate than when Wille was doing the work. He knew Wille had seen him like this before. All bare and open and just waiting, but being the one whose fingers were buried deep inside himself, in front of this astonishingly handsome man, made him feel strangely vulnerable and intimate. 

 

In the dimly lit room he could see Wille and his intense eyes taking in every movement Simon made. Every muffled whimper, every stutter. It was all absorbed by Wille’s intense eyes, Simon could feel that, but who was Simon to judge? He was eating Wille up with his eyes himself. Wille was slowly, almost lazily, moving his own hand up and down his cock. 

They didn’t touch each other, didn’t say anything to each other. They just got themselves ready for the main act. 

 

When Simon let himself slide down Wille’s waiting cock, it was in a slow, teasing manner that made his boyfriend throw his head back into the pillow beneath him.

 

“Is it good?” Simon mumbled through his gritted teeth. He really tried to be silent as Wille had asked him to be. Wille nodded and placed his hand around Simon’s hips urging him to move. And Simon did. He got lost in the feeling of being loved, being treasured. Lost in the feeling of belonging to someone. Being together with someone forever. Everything, every obstacle, every struggle in their past was forgotten and forgiven because they were here together and they would be together forever. 

 

They had grown up together, made it through struggles together, and let each other grow and yet they still fit so perfectly together. There had been bumps, fights, and people who didn’t wish for them to be together, but they had overcome it all. They had been stupid, mean toward each other, and even pushed each other away at times, but it was all for the sake of growing into the two men they now had become – two individuals who know where they stood and what they stood for, and most importantly know who they are. The journey had been innocent, beautiful, heartbreaking and so, so, so good. It had all turned out better than they dared hope for. 

 

“I think I want to release Breathe,” Simon suddenly whispered into the orange room. He had been playing with a lost piece of hair from Wille’s normally groomed hairstyle while resting his head on Wille’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. 

 

Their lovemaking had been intense and full of feelings, making both men euphoric and numb at the same time. But now, after an intense orgasm, Simon couldn’t find any rest.

 

“Really?” Wille asked surprised but without moving much. 

 

It was well on the way to sunrise, so they should probably try to get some sleep before the day started. There were just so many thoughts racing through Simon’s head that he couldn’t get any rest no matter how hard he tried. And him moving around in his small single bed kept Wille awake as well. 

 

“Yeah. I don’t know if it’s going to be on an EP or on my next album, but I want the world to hear it,” Simon explained while listening to Wille’s calming heartbeat. “I’m ready for the world to hear it.”

 

“I like that idea,” Wille eventually said. “You want them to know what the song means?” 

 

“Maybe? I don’t know yet,” Simon replied, deep in thought. Wille let out a yawn. 

 

“Wouldn’t it be something if you recorded the music video at Hillerska?” Wille asked, sounding very sleepy.

 

“In the music room?” Simon smiled. “It would be something.” 

 

“I want to be there when you record it then,” Wille mumbled, almost asleep. 

 

“Okay, you’ll be there,” Simon whispered, kissing Wille’s chest softly. 

 

The plane was about to land and both men were now wide awake, sitting with their seatbelts on. 

 

“Nervous?” Wille asked, looking at Simon with his big eyes.

 

“A bit,” Simon answered. “What about you?” 

 

“I think I’ll be okay. We will be okay,” Wille smiled at him. He was really the sweetest and prettiest boy. 

 

“Okay, Let’s get out to say hello to my family,” Simon smiled when it was time for them to face the world outside their plane. “Ready to become a part of a loud Latin American family?” 

 

“Trust me,” Wille said with a gleam in his eyes as he stood up. “Your family can’t be as bad as mine. You remember the first time you had dinner with my parents?” 

 

“OMG! Don’t remind me. I thought I would die from embarrassment,” Simon laughed while grabbing his backpack – the orange one he had used at Hillerska as well. 

 

Outside the plane, they walked the short distance into the entry hall where Linda and Simon’s family would be waiting for them in a secluded area. It was easy to spot them as soon as they got inside. Simon smiled to himself, this would be good. 

 

Simon could feel Wille’s hand in his and he squeezed it, looking up at the prettiest and sweetest boy.

 

“Ready?” Simon smiled. 

 

“I’m ready,” Wille replied with a smile just as big as Simon’s. 

 

They were okay. 

SimonErikssonOfficial I am so happy and thrilled to announce that two weeks prior to this date my long-time boyfriend, His Royal Highness Prince Wilhelm, and I entered a registered partnership. I am beyond happy and still just as in love with my partner as I was as a 16-year-old boy. I will keep on doing music and performing as I always have, and Wilhelm will keep up his responsibilities to the Crown and his family. Thank you for all your support through the years. I hope that you will keep up the support in the future. I love you all! 

 

FeliceE What! Why weren't we informed! SIMON!! You are so going to explain yourself once you’ve landed! (Also congrats<3<3<3<3)

OneClaraTheReal Sending lots of love and hugs your way <3<3<3

SecretE Congratulations!

PinkyBlond Is this really happening! Simon my honey bun! I’m so happy for you!

TindraS <3



HRH Wilhelm It can be confirmed that two weeks ago His Royal Highness Prince Wilhelm entered a registered partnership with Simon Eriksson. His Royal Highness and Mr. Eriksson wished for this to be a private event only witnessed by their closest family members. There will not be any additional ceremonies held to celebrate this happy partnership. Mr. Eriksson has declined to accept any titles and will be self-supported whereas His Royal Highness Prince Wilhelm has wished to keep up with his duties to the Crown and Sweden and represent the country the best way he possibly can. As the first royal to ever to enter a same-sex partnership, His Royal Highness is aware that not everybody will see eye-to-eye with his decision to have a male partner, but he hopes for the country’s support nonetheless and for the progressiveness of Sweden to shine through.  

 

SimonErikssonOfficial <3

HRHCP Erik Congratulations little brother! I wish you all the best.

NormannDH I am in shock that this is something the Crown would allow! I’m disgusted!

RoSH @NormannDH OMG! Old man, go away with your old man's opinions. I’m serious! Leave them alone. I’ll come after you with rainbow glitter if you don’t!! Also congratulations <3

FeliceE I’m so proud of you! Congratulations<3




(link to CMBYN board: https://pin.it/6AvmTLU )

Notes:

This fic has been betaed by the lovely Escapethrustory. Without her there would be so many, many mistakes and typos. Thank you for your hard work <3
You can always reach out to me here in the comments or on Twitter: @KrogagerM

Notes:

So, this is a first for me......

Series this work belongs to: