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The door of her apartment is slowly being closed. Sen immediately locks it and puts the keys in the pot near the entrance. She then lets her coat slips off her shoulders. At last, her heels are taken off hastily. A heavy sigh makes its way out of her. The day has been exhausting.
The coat in one hand and the shoes in the other, she walks towards her room. She diligently puts them back in her closet. All things are to be organized perfectly. It's late, there is no energy left to do anything to relax. She will only allow herself a shower. Behind the second door in her bedroom, a small bathroom. Only big enough for one person. It's more than enough.
Every piece of closes are taken off and put away to be washed. Sen is reaching for her stockings when she notices that they are ripped. Has she walked with those all day long? It forces out of her another sigh. Without second thoughts, she throws them away.
She hops in the shower. The water is hot enough that it turns her skin red. She doesn't mind, the weather was cold today and a little heat is very welcomed. Her body shivers out the cold. And for an instant, nothing else in the world matters.
It takes all of her will to get out of the shower. It's late in the evening already. Much time has passed. So Sen steps out and wraps herself in her robes. Water is dripping from her hair. She squeezes out most of it with her hands. She then sits down, reaches for the brush and combs her hair. This is one of the little joys she has in her life. It always reminds her of her mother. Sweet memories of a time where worries did not exist. There was only a mother kindly brushing her hair. Telling her how beautiful and precious she was.
Sen sings every time she gets to that part of the day. The origins of this activity are a mystery. It is just how feelings are. Nothing never seemed more natural than this. It is a hobby one can never let go. A crystalline voice echoes through the room. Singing brings her back to her childhood. Her voice is something she never shared with anyone. Except for her mother. The memory is too precious to be trampled by anyone else. Sen is attached to it beyond reason.
Once everything is done, the silence comes back. She leaves the bathroom to go to the kitchen. She can't find within herself the will to cook something. She opens the refrigerator hoping to find something to heat up. It's mostly empty. She closes it. She acts like she never opened the door and decides on drinking tea. It will suffice.
The hot drink in her hands, the view in her living room comes to mind. It will be a good scenery to go with the tea. She walks soundlessly towards her living room and stands before the floor-to-ceiling windows.
In that cold and lonely room of her, Sen is so higher up that she can't see anyone down there. The night sky is without stars. It is awfully polluted by the fake lights of the city. It is not without beauty, nonetheless. There is something endearing, reassuring in that familiar view.
In that dark and soundless room of her, Sen feels left out. A new day has passed. Yet it feels like any other one. Her days are endlessly stuck in this routine. She stays there, looking absentmindedly through the window. Siping on her tea from time to time.
She is still in the same position when she hears her phone ring. At this time of the night? The tea is left on the coffee table and Sen goes to look for her phone. It had been left in the bathroom earlier. The person calling her must really want to talk to her, by the time she holds it in her hand, it is still ringing. She picks up the call.
''Yes?'' The answer is simple enough. ''Ah!'' An exclamation is all she hears. Sen recognizes that voice. ''Took you long enough.'' The voice continues. A smile appears on Sen's lips. How good does it feel to hear that voice. It only downs on her now. She hasn't even known until now that she badly needed to hear that person. ''I'm sorry I was on the other side of the house. You should be thankful that I even heard my phone.'' The laugh on the other side truly is loud. ''It's alright. Did you know, I just had to make a mess out of my house to find mine.''
''Why am I not surprised?'' Rei wasn't known to be organised. Her way of living as wild as her personality. Her untamed soul could never be bothered by such things. ''I know you're not surprised. But could you make it sound less obvious? It hurts my ego.'' Sen can hear the smile in her voice, it makes her laugh. She shakes her head, indulging her sister. ''Sure, I will let this one go, but try to hide it next time. How are you? Why such a late call?''
''Now I almost forgot why I called you for. Well, I once again talk about you to Otakemaru, and you know what? He yelled at me that perhaps, I should stop talking and...'' The pause is marked. It gets longer and longer. As if she doesn't how to say what she wants to say. ''And?'' A word of encouragement.
''Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow?'' Rei's voice is hesitant. ''I know it is sudden. He just asked me out of the blue if he could meet you. And you know, I don't know why I never thought about it before. Why have I never thought about it before? I mean, you two are the most important persons of my life and...'' The rambling goes on and on without end.
Sen is stunned. She also, never thought about it. She doesn't really know how to take it. She is happy obviously, that Rei would include her. And also that Otakemaru would like to meet. She just... doesn't know if she has any rights to intrude on them like this.
After all, it has not been that long since she met Rei again. It was a total coincidence. They met on the street, like any stranger would. After so much time, Rei was still the same. She had grown up of course, but she was still like Sen remembered her.
When they got separated when they were little after their parents' death. They never saw each other again. Sen was fifteen years old, Rei seven. The memory is still crystal clear in her heart. The pain it had been to lose everything all at once.
All alone, back in that tiny room she was given at the orphanage, she had imagined what would become of her shattered future, and Rei's one. She had cried herself to sleep that night and every other one after. People must have had noticed how gloomy she had become, she was never adopted. Too old already, it was not something parents were looking for in a child.
So when the phantom of the past she thought she had left behind came back to haunt her, she didn't do anything to chase after it. If Rei hadn't recognized her even after so many years. Even after she was so young the last time she had seen her that it should have been difficult to remember. She wouldn't have done anything. She would have stayed there, until it would finally be gone.
But Rei had hugged her the moment she saw her. She had cried like a baby. And never once did she let go of her hand. Sen had never felt so conflicted. It had felt like a strange dream, she had cried of joy too. But her guts wouldn't let go of the guilt. Rei had not hesitated at all, not even for a second. But her, she had been ready to let it go by fear alone. She wasn't worthy at all of all that affection. If anything, she'd only ever be worthy of contempt.
Rei had grabbed her arm and had dragged her to the closest restaurant. Screw whatever they both were supposed to do at that day, nothing was more important than their reunion. Rei told her everything about her life. She had been adopted by a man named Tamura almost immediately. Rei had reminded him of his deceased daughter. They were both wounded souls, and they found salvation with each other. She grew up in a happy household, and she had gotten everything a child could ever dream of.
Rei liked to say it was destiny. Just like the both of them meeting again.
She also said, a fond expression on her face, that she had had a third fateful encounter. When she had just lost her adoptive father to illness, Rei roamed around the city for a while. A little rascal tried to steal her wallet. The poor child didn't know who he had in front of him. He got beaten in a flip of her hand. She had laughed. Tamura owned a dojo and Rei was the best student he ever had.
Seeing that the child was just hungry, she went and bought him food at the nearest convenience store. The child, whose name was Otakemaru, was nothing but a sweet boy. A thing bringing up another, they ended up living together. ''I've lived a good life. I'm so happy. Honestly, I didn't know I could get any happier.'' She ended her telling her storytelling that way. Her smile almost hysteric. The happiness could be seen in every corner of her body. ''Now your turn. I want to hear everything.'' She looked at her expectantly, excitedly.
Sen didn't know where to start. She didn't have much to tell. She finished high school, attended a university with a great reputation. Her studying skills were the only things she could be proud of. Later, one of their late mother's friend, Yao Bikuni made contact with her and helped her for a while. She then became a great friend of her too. That was all.
They kept talking afterwards, so much they couldn't feel the time flowing. In the span of a few hours, they caught up with years of absence. When they had to part, they hugged once more. And they promised to see each other again and they did. As naturally as sisters who grew up together would have.
When she got home that day, Sen had felt a little bit awkward. Not feeling much until the onslaught. The weight of years of loneliness washed over her all at once. Overwhelmed with conflicting emotions, she had cried. How lucky had she been to see Rei again. All those years, she had lived without even thinking about it. Going to sleep, waking up and going to work. Over and over again.
When Rei told her about her life, she was happy for her. And she was also, in her heart, deeply hurt. They should have lived the same life, together. But it had never happened. And yet, against all odds, she was given another chance.
Now, Rei wants her to meet her brother, her family? She wants to be a part of it again. How could Sen ever say no? She wants to meet Otakemaru. ''I will go.'' Her answer leaves a blank on Rei's side. Sen doesn't know if it is because she never expected her to say yes or because her sister is still processing the answer after talking by herself for so long. Either way, she says it again. ''I will gladly come to your house and finally meet your brother.''
''Yeah?''
''Yeah.''
Sen can hear the relief in her voice. ''What, did you think I would say no?'' The tease slipped by itself. She can barely keep her laugh to herself. ''No, of course not. It's just... I was just nervous I guess, for... hum, huh... some stupid reasons? I don't know myself? Oh but! I am happy. I have to tell Otakemaru right away!'' The more she speaks, the more confident she becomes.
''Alright.'' Rei's good energy makes Sen feel giddy. ''I will come to your house to get you tomorrow at nineteen o'clock!'' She doesn't give Sen enough time to answer, she hangs up immediately after. Sen's heart is filled with delight. She doesn't know what to expect tomorrow. But she will do her best.
With her phone still in her hands, she decides to check her schedule for tomorrow. Luck is on her side. It is one of those day where she doesn’t have to stay in late. Good omen. She will even have time to buy a gift for them.
It's really late now, and she wants to be perfect for tomorrow. Sen forgets the tea still waiting for her in the living room. She just slips inside her sheets and makes herself comfortable.
On her nightstand lies a frame. She looks at it fondly.
She falls asleep with a smile on her lips that night.
The next day, it feels like the time is going on forever. Work has never been more boring. It’s always the same thing. Thanks god she has a good salary. Otherwise, she’d have left long ago.
When finally she is done, not a single second is wasted. She grabs her belongings and runs towards the exit. Outside, the street is bustling. People come and go without end. It's a sight she doesn't see often. While others might often find this annoying, Sen appreciates it. She nourishes her mind on the energy they leave behind. Her mood brightens. She departs for the closest flower shop.
Once she gets there, her eyes are filled with colours. She doesn't know which ones and how to choose. The shop owner notices her abashment and approaches her. ''May I help you?'' He surprises her. ''Ah, yes... There are so many, I don't know what to pick.'' She laughs nervously. ''What's the occasion?'' He smiles back, wanting to be comforting. ''Well, let's say that I am meeting someone really important for my sister.'' His face is pensive for a second. But then, it lights up. ''I've got just the right thing. Give me a second.''
''Sure, take your time.'' The wait doesn't take long, he is back almost running. He presents her three types of flowers. ''Cornflowers, azaleas and snowdrop flowers. ''How is that?'' Sen can hear in his voice that he likes what he is doing. The flowers look great, honestly, they even look good all together. ''Is it possible to have the three of them in the same bouquet?''
''Of course, anything is possible with flowers.'' He works on it without waiting any further. With his hands he does wonders. He gets it done in no time. The pink, blue and white suit each other well. He also adds some eagle fern to make it fluffier.
''It's perfect.'' Sen smiles with gratitude. She pays the shops owner and leaves. In the end, she really hasn't been in here for long. It gives her plenty of time to get ready at home. Her apartment is not far, she only has to walk a little while to get there.
She doesn't know what to wear. She can't be too formal. But she can't be casual either. Thing is, she never has time nor the occasions to put on something comfortable. As a result, not a single casual clothe lies in her closet. She spends an absurd amount of time choosing the perfect dress. Her final choice is a sober yet elegant mermaid dress. It is the softest she has. One can only hope one won’t be overdressed.
She does little make up afterwards. She was never taught how to do it properly. And she never looked onto it by herself. It looks good for sure. But she has learnt, with the poor amount of experience she has, that the more beautiful it looks the more uncomfortable it is. For someone like Sen, who being exhausted is a daily occurrence. Rubbing her eyes is a question of life or death. And eye make up makes that an absolutely impossible thing to do.
It's almost time for Rei to pick her up. Everything is ready save for her mind. She paces her entire home anxiously waiting for her call. When it finally comes, she was expecting it so much it startles her. She freezes for a second before computing and reaching for it.
''Your carriage is waiting for you Milady!'' Rei says theatrically. ''I'm coming right down!'' The answer is shouted without missing a beat. The phone is thrown inside her purse. She almost forgets the flowers in her rush. She hastily grabs them and goes to the entry.
No more time to waste, she goes through her door and closes it.
Rei is waiting for her leaning on her car. The woman is wearing a black jumpsuit, a hand hidden in her pocket, the other one holding her phone. When she lifts her head and sees Sen, her expression brightens up. Both her hands go up too to wave at her. She looks silly “There you are, you were fast.” Once right in front of her, Rei can’t help but hug her. Sen doesn’t think about the flowers still in her hands and reciprocates it.
“You’re stunning” Sen's embrace tightens for a moment at the compliment. She then lets go enough to look at her sister’s face. “That’s my line.” They laugh and smile with each other.
“Here.” Rei takes her hand and brings her to the other side of the car to open the door to her. “I see your hands are taken.” Sen thanks her softly, a little embarrassed. She is not used to that kind of thoughtful touches. It is appreciated, nonetheless.
Rei also gets in the car. The engine makes a raging sound. “To home we go! You've never been there right? You’ll see, it’s not as big as yours, but it’s very charming! Otakemaru is the one taking care of it, though...”
“Now that’s reassuring.”
“Oh my, you and Otakemaru are bound gang up on me. I’m starting to regret my decision to make you two meet.” Sen laughs openly. She is in the mood for some teasing. “You have a reputation you know.”
“It’s not that bad! I only ever almost set the house on fire once.” Her poor attempt at defending herself only makes her laugh go stronger. “Rei, that kind of thing doesn’t usually happen to other people. Just... Stay away from the kitchen.” Rei clicks her tongue. Her expression playfully turning from a offended one to a sulking one. “Yes Milady.” Sen finds her adorable. That woman looks nothing like an adult. Could it be possible for one to stay a child forever?
They fall silent after that. Rei’s house is situated at the other side of the city. The night has fallen already. The road is illuminated by the cars’ headlights and the streetlamps. There is not much traffic. They go through smoothly. The ambiance is nice. Sen feels relaxed.
She doesn’t realise she is dozing off until they reach their destination and Rei has to call her twice. “Rough day?” Sen nods affirmatively. Rei only pats her shoulder, affectionate. “We're here.” They both leave the car.
Sen stands before the house. It is neither big nor small, just the right size. Through one of the windows, they can see light. From time to time, they can guess a silhouette is passing in front of it. “I guess he is still in the kitchen. Come on Sen, let’s go in. It’s starting to get really cold outside.”
They hurry inside. Once in, Sen can smell the sweet aroma of food. Mixed to the warm atmosphere of the house, it creates a sense of familiarity. Sen takes a deep breath. That must be how a house should always feel like.
“Wait for me here. I’m gonna go get him.” Rei says after putting her car keys away. Sen stands there without moving. Her nervousness reaching its paroxysm. She still takes the time to look around. As it seems, she stands in a huge room that must be both a dinning and living room. The table there is already set for three people.
On the other side, a couch, a TV and a lot of bookshelves. They are filled with plants and frames. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she heads towards the closest ones. On the first one she sees Rei with an older man she guesses is Tamura. Rei is younger, most certainly still a teenager. They are wearing a keikogi. Their smiles are all teeth.
She moves on to the next. Rei is in here again. This time with two other children. Most probably around her age. They aren’t looking at the camera. Rei is fighting with the boy while the girl seems to cheer for her. Their innocence obvious on their faces.
She doesn’t recognize anyone on the third one. But one of them is here again on the next one.
“These two are my friends.” The voice surprises her and makes her jolt. She hears Rei giggles and she turns her head to the left to see the same boy she has just seen twice on the pictures. She gazes at him, then stares at the first photo again and points at it to silently ask if he meant that one.
He nods. “These are Kanihime and Kujira.”
“I see.” She now points at the one where is with another boy. “And this one?” She asks, genuinely interested. “Arakawa.” He answers simply. He doesn’t elaborate more. “Also a friend?” It’s a question he clearly expected. Yet it sounds like he doesn't really want to answer it as he seems slightly bothered by it. “My best friend? My rival? Sometimes he is none, sometimes he is both. It doesn’t make sense.” He tries to clear things out.
Sen gets it. She chuckles. “Just like love and hate, altruism and jealousy. Contradictory feelings always go with each other. It's only human nature. Don’t fret it.” Her answer seems to please him. His lips curl up.
“I’m Otakemaru. I’m so happy to finally meet you.” He doesn’t give her his hand to shake. But in exchange, she earns the earnest smile she has ever gotten. It's definitely contagious. “Same goes for me.” She places her hand on her heart trying to convey her sincerity.
“I heard you’re the one taking care of everything here.” She hears Rei protest. And with that she offers him the flowers still within her hands. “Here’s a gift for the master of the house.” By the blush on his face, it is the first time he is ever given flowers. It’s a good sight. “I... Thank you. I’m sure we have a vase somewhere.” With that he disappears on the kitchen.
Rei, who has assisted to the whole scene, approaches her. “Impressive. He usually isn’t that docile.” Sen gives her back her gaze. “Really? Isn’t he the one who asked to meet me? Wouldn’t it have been weirder if he had not been?”
“Yeah I guess. It’s just, I’m not used to it... I know he’s just getting more mature. But I’m not ready for him to become an adult yet.” She brings her hands to her eyes like she is drying some fake tears. It forces a laugh out of Sen. “Remind me, how old is he?”
“Seventeen. No matter what, to me he will forever be my precious baby brother...” She starts mumbling, already feeling a nostalgia that has yet to exist. Sen can’t help but feeling compassionate. She had felt the same with her.
“I found one!” Otakemaru comes back holding a vase filled with the flowers. He places it on the table. “Perfect.” He puts his hands on his hips, satisfied. “You two should sit down, I will go get the first part of dinner.” He says, leaving for the kitchen once more.
Sen and Rei sit down in front of each other. They don’t have to wait much. He comes back and presents the dish. It’s sea food. Sen loves sea food. “Ah, it’s perfect.” The smell is alluring. She takes a good look. It’s colourful, she can’t wait to taste it. “Truth be told.” Rei starts, murmuring like she is confessing something bad. “We always eat the same thing. So much Otakemaru mastered it to the point he can do it with his eyes closed.” Her stating makes Sen giggles and Otakemaru rolls his eyes. “Really, I’d probably eat things raw if he wasn’t here...” Rei brings one of her hand to her heart seeming teasingly and overly affectionate. The other ends up in Otakemaru's hair. She ruffles it so hard his head swings.
“Suzuka Gozen!” He screams. Clearly more embarrassed than he has been during the whole evening. To help him out, Sen decides not to tease him too and redirects the attention to something else. And well... She is also curious. “Suzuka Gozen?” Otakemaru sees it as an opened door and jumps on the occasion. “That’s the title she earned at the dojo.” Sen hums, nodding too. “I see I see. Then tell me, Otakemaru. Do you have one too?” It seems he was waiting for that question. He crosses his arms, all proud. Shame long gone. “The Jade Blade of Yasakani.”
“You’re just a brat! No need for you to be so proud!” Rei enters his game. He’s nothing if not happy to bite back. “Your ego is just hurt cause I got one even younger than you did!”
“That’s only because you’re everyone’s favourite!” She then turns towards Sen and whispers. “Don’t tell him, but I’m really proud of him.” Sen laughs loudly, it’s contagious. “And I still remain the best dancer between the both of us.” It's Rei's turn to act all mighty. “Wrong, you're just embarrassing. You're lucky no one ever made fun of you before.”
“I said I was better than you, not the best on earth.” With that she looks at Sen. “But you know what? We might as well just let Sen judge for herself. Look at me and tell me if I am embarrassing or not.” She rushes toward the stereo exposed on the furniture, turns it on and start dancing without hesitating. It's silly really. She's not embarrassing, but Sen understands where Otakemaru is coming from. She can't help but laugh. She probably never received any bad comment because she is so pure, enjoying herself to the fullest. And everyone might just feel like joining her in her mesmerising world.
And that's what Sen ends up doing. She does not dance, but her voice start going past her lips on their own. She doesn't realise it has gone loose. She just feels the moment with them. When she realises this, unexpectedly, she does not feel like stopping. She has never sung in front of anyone else but her mother. And yet, singing in their presence feels natural.
Rei is dancing eagerly without a care in the world. She tries to get Otakemaru to dance too. Sen is with them, singing. And she can only think; Ah, thats right. That's where my place is.
The end of the dinner goes as smoothly. Sen and Otakemaru talk about nothing and everything. Just like the day she met Rei again, she talks with him like they have known each other for much longer than just a few hours.
Rei is watching all of it quietly. Nourishing herself with the good vibes. The happiness she feels can’t be described with words.
By the end of it, they all are full. The silent that settles is comfortable. Sen takes, once again the time to look around. The frames really are everywhere. “You guys sure have a lot of photos.”
“That’s only a few. We’ve got a whole batch in my room.” Rei says nonchalantly. “Oh really?” Rei suddenly narrows her eyes at her. She seems to be thinking hard about something. After a while, she hesitantly asks. “Do you... wanna see them all?”
“Oh!” Exclaims Otakemaru. “We can show you. All of them. And we might as well tell you every story behind them too.” He then stands up excitedly without even waiting for an answer and runs towards another side of the house. Rei stands while laughing. “We can’t stop him now that he has an idea running in that head of his. You might as well go on the couch. It’s gonna take some time. Want some tea?”
“Oh yes, please.”
“Alright. Be right back!”
Sen listens to her and goes on the couch. She sits straight up. The inside of the house really is pretty and warm. Unlike her own house. Sen feels oh so very welcome here she could stay forever. The fire on the corner heats her face. It feels great.
Otakemaru comes back first. He holds a box almost as large as him. She tries to help him, but he brushes her off. The box is dropped in front of her. “That should be all.”
“That’s a lot already.” She chuckles and reaches down. She gets a hold on the one on the very top. It’s Rei. Rei just like she remembers her from years ago. She gets weirdly emotional over this one picture. Otakemaru sits next to her. He seems to catch her melancholia. His lips curl up with the kindest and understanding smile. It instantly makes her feel better. She gives him back his little attention.
It is at that moment Rei decides to come back. Dense as she is, she doesn’t grasp the feelings. She holds the three cups of tea with one hand only, like she has done this her whole life. “Don’t be scared, I’m a disaster in the kitchen but all rules have an exception right? I do know how to make tea!” Otakemaru looks at her dramatically sighing. Looking at his head, Sen can see the fondness in his eyes despite him acting like he can’t withstand Rei anymore. Their lovely sister speaks. “Ready for a marathon?” Sen takes one cup and sips her tea. It really is not bad. She nods, smiling.
They review every last one of the photos, taking their time. Sen listens to every story with genuine attention. Sometime they laugh. Some other time nostalgia hits them. After some time. Sen notices something. She turns to look at Rei. “You don’t have any photo of our parents? Or one with me when we were little?” Rei shakes her head. “None.” Was she never even given one? Did they think she was too young to care and remember? “Well.” Sen starts again. “I don’t have much compared to you.” She marks a pause to look at them both. “But I still have my fair share. How about dinner at my place next time? We can take a look, and you can take all the photos you like.” Rei expression beams. She does not speak. All she does is grab her arms and rub her face on her shoulder. Otakemaru must feel the same, because he tries to hold himself back, but he grabs her arm and beams. It’s Sen’s turn to shine. Happiness truly suits her well.
They keep looking at the photos some more. The time flies, they don’t feel it flowing. At some point, everything goes silent. When Sen asks a question and no one answers her, she finds them asleep on her shoulders. Ah, she’s tired too. This day has been rich. So much more then she had expected. She feels good, accepted, appreciated. Loved. This a feeling she feels again after so many years. How she had missed it.
Sen lets go of the pictures in her hands. She closes her eyes. It all feels serene. How could it be otherwise? After all, she has just found once more what she dares call, her familly.
She drifts to sleep, already dreaming. When she wakes up the next morning, it is going to be a new day. The kind she never ever lived before. The long era of loneliness and dullness has come to an end.