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Sleep was not in Keeho’s vocabulary last night.

 

He spent the entire night tossing and turning, coughing up fluid from his lungs. By the time the clock said 8:38am his eyes felt a bit tired but his body was keeping him from sleeping. He pulled himself from his bed with dark circles hooding his eyes and disheveled hair, his muscles aching from lack of sleep. His throat was in an unbearable amount of pain today which, in his exhausted state, reminded him to take his morning dose of antibiotics.

 

He heard Jiung still snoring softly in the top bunk and decided to go prepare breakfast for his members who were most likely also still asleep.

 

Making the trek to the living room, he saw that the TV was still on and on the couch laid a sleeping Soul with a gaming controller next to him on the coffee table. He smiled to himself, grabbing a blanket from the shelf and covering the younger member.

 

Keeho fills the kettle with water and flicks on the stove. He pops a piece of bread in the toaster to hold himself over although he doesn’t really feel hungry yet, moreso because he feels like he should be eating something.

 

He pulls the eggs from the fridge and cracks a whopping twelve extra large eggs in a bowl, whisking in the necessary spices. He pulls turkey sausage from the fridge and sets it aside. He ponders whether to cut up some fruit and finally gives in, taking out the case of strawberries and blueberries from the bottom shelf.

 

On a coated frying pan he grills the six turkey sausages, jumping when the oil pops and sizzles. He gives the eggs a final whisk before pouring them in the adjacent pan.

 

The kettle starts ringing and he’s quick to remove it from the stove, hoping he didn’t wake up any of his members. He was originally making tea to soothe his scratchy throat but he pulls a bag of chamomile from the cupboard with a new motive -- to make himself sleepy.

 

He tosses the sausages in the pan and scrambles the eggs in the pan, sprinkling shredded cheese on top. Cutting the leaves off of the strawberries and adding them to a bowl with the blueberries, he gives the fruit a thorough rinsing and sets them aside. He removes the sausages from the pan, letting them rest on a napkin and scrapes the eggs onto a serving dish. He almost jumps as a sleepy Intak makes his way into the kitchen.

 

“You’re up early,” Keeho greets.

 

“Morning,” Intak grumbles, sleep still evident on his face. “Could say the same thing to you.”

 

“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” Keeho admits, although he’s sugar coating it a bit. “Figured I’d make breakfast for everyone because we’re on break and have the time.”

 

“Hyung,” Intak analyzes Keeho. “You look like hell,” he laughs.

 

“Yeah, my throat is killing me,” he confesses.

 

“Which reminds me, I didn’t take my medication this morning,” he steps from the kitchen and makes his way to his room. He sees a light on in the bathroom across the hall signaling that another member is also awake.

 

He opens the door slowly in an attempt to be as quiet as possible but to his surprise Jiung isn’t in the top bunk. ‘He’s awake’, Keeho thinks to himself. He grabs the bottle of Adderall from his nightstand and pops a pill in his mouth, downing it with the water Jiung had given him last night. He makes his way back to the kitchen.

 

A few moments pass of their movements around the kitchen before a still-half-asleep Jiung waddles in. He looks up at Keeho, alarmed. “Hyung… did you sleep at all last night?” Jiung asks.

 

Keeho only gives him a sad smile and wraps his arms around Jiung, pulling him into a quick hug. “I made breakfast. Help me bring it to the table, Ji,” he instructs.

 

Out of the corner of his eye he sees a figure poke his head up from the couch, blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. “Steph!” Soul yelps.

 

“Morning, Sho,” Keeho grins. “Gather Seob and Theo hyung for breakfast, yeah?” Soul nods happily and is quickly on his feet.

 

“Thanks for cooking, Keeho. You’re so kind to us,” Intak beams.

 

“Of course, Takie,” he smiles in return. “Did you guys have any plans for the day?” Keeho wonders.

 

Jiung hums to himself, hesitating, and then shrugs. “We could all check out that new café in SongJeong Dong,” he offers.

 

“Oh, I heard about that!” Theo chimes in, walking with Seob and Soul to the table. “Seobie and I were thinking about checking it out but it would be so much fun if we all went together!”

 

Everyone at the table falls into their own conversations, all the while Jiung’s eyes fall on Keeho, whose plate is nearly empty aside from a piece of toast and some scrambled eggs. “Hyung…” he whispers to the leader next to him. “Why aren’t you eating?”

 

Keeho shrugged. Honestly, he was really confused himself too.. Why was he not hungry? Why was he not sleeping? He was so beside himself with exhaustion.

 

“I’m not that hungry,” Keeho says honestly, sipping his tea. “I’ll eat more at the café.”

 

Everyone finishes eating and places their dishes in the sink, everyone parting their own ways. Keeho falls face first on the couch, placing a pillow on his face and hugging it there.

 

“Kee, why don’t you go lay down? Theo and I can clean up the dishes,” Intak voices from above him. Keeho reaches out for Intak’s arm and stops him. Intak is startled for a second but recovers fast.

 

“I really don’t feel well,” Keeho’s voice is strained.

 

“Hmm?” Intak hums concerningly, kneeling down on the floor next to Keeho, leaning forward so he could hear the quiet voice of his leader. “What was that, hyung?”

 

“I just don’t understand,” Keeho whimpered, actually feeling tears prick his eyes. “I just,” the tears start flowing down his cheeks. He inhales a shaky breath before continuing.

 

“I don’t know why the antibiotics aren’t helping,” he continues, absentmindedly.  

 

Intak knows Keeho better than he knows himself so he immediately can tell that Keeho is crying and in distress. He runs his fingers through Keeho’s hair, whispering that he’s going to be okay.

 

Jiung has taken notice of the situation and is currently watching from a distance. He whispers something to Soul and Jongseob and the two younger members nod, walking happily to the kitchen, oblivious to what’s going on in the living room ten feet from them.

 

“Hyung,” Jiung’s voice shakes. “Please tell us what’s wrong. Please communicate with us,” he pleads.

 

“I’m fine Ji,” he says, contradicting the words he just said a second ago. “I just didn’t get any sleep last night,” Keeho cried, finally uncovering the pillow from his face. It was so ironic to plead that he was fine with tears streaming down his face. “So I’m a little beside myself right now, that’s all.”

 

“Why don’t you go lay down in your bed, Kee?” Theo offered as he was wiping down the table.

 

“Yeah, I already sent the kids to do the dishes,” Jiung explained. “One less thing for you to occupy yourself with.”

 

Intak couldn’t fight the urge to hug his member anymore and engulfed Keeho in a warm hug, the leader curling into his embrace and gripping his shirt tightly as he cried and cried.

 

“Ugh, crying is making my head feel worse,” he admitted. He leaned forward and retched out a string of coughs.

 

“God Kee! You said you were going to be fine,” Jiung's voice finally cracks. His face contorts into one of a cry and then he is swallowing hard and taking a few deep breaths. “Why aren’t the antibiotics working?”

 

Keeho couldn’t even fathom how he was feeling right now. He could hear his heartbeat in his ear drums and his muscles were aching him. He wants to comfort his best friend but right now he can’t even pull himself together. Fortunately Theo pulls him into a silent hug, rubbing his back comfortingly.

 

“I’m just so exhausted. I thought I didn’t sleep last night because I had rested so long during the day yesterday, but this is different,” he says. “I’ve stayed up all night before, but I’ve never felt like this. N-never have felt so exhausted but unable to keep my eyes shut for more than 60 seconds before I have to fixate on something.” he rambles.

 

He falls into another coughing fit, leaning over the edge of the couch to do so. His ribs ache at the retching coughs and he struggles to catch his breath once it finally stops.

 

“Have you taken the antibiotics this morning yet?” Intak questions, back to running his fingers through Keeho’s hair. He’s trying his best not to show his frantic eyes to Keeho, trying his best to appear calm in front of his hysterical friend but oh boy was it difficult. 

 

He nods. “I want to go to my bed,” Keeho pouts, wiping the wet tears on his face.

 

At that, all three members start moving. They grab his hands, pulling him off the couch and leading him back to his dorm room.

 

“Can I please be alone?” Keeho asks anxiously. “Jiung this is your room too so you can of course stay, but I really want to be alone right now.”

 

Theo and Intak nodded, shooting a look of concern to Jiung, before walking out of the members' shared dorm room and back to their own room.

 

“Let me take care of you,” Jiung says, scrambling on his feet. He pulls back Keeho’s blanket for him, places an unopened bottle of water on his nightstand. He leaves the room momentarily and returns with a thermometer in his hand.

 

Keeho makes a mental note to thank Jiung for all of this later because right now he can’t think straight. He lands on his bed knees first and crawls into bed, cocooning himself in his blankets.

 

“I want to read your antibiotics, I want to see something,” Jiung said. He stalks to Keeho’s side of the room and picks up the antibiotics, still in the plastic seal they were in yesterday when he placed them there on his dresser. He stares at the bottle in confusion.

 

“Uh… Kee?” he asked. “Haven’t you already taken two doses of antibiotics?”

 

“Yeah, why?” Keeho asked.

 

He turns to Keeho with the bottle of antibiotics in his hand, the bottle still sealed in plastic. Keeho tilts his head in confusion.

 

“Hyung, they’re unopened,” Jiung stated, just as confused. “What have you been taking?” Horror making its way to his face, an expression he’s not even attempting to hide at this point.

 

Keeho starts putting the pieces together. He feels the color drain from his face as he throws the blanket off of himself, sitting up. “Oh my God.”

 

“Jiung. Oh my God, Ji,” he says weakly. “In my groggy state yesterday… oh my God!” he shouts, holding his head in his hands.

 

He marches to where Jiung stands at his dresser pulling the Adderall bottle from his night stand and thrusting it into Jiung’s face like it’s on display. A fresh wave of tears started falling down his face. “I thought you said you put the antibiotics on my nightstand last night, not my dresser,” he cried. “The bottles look the same!”

 

Guilt pangs Jiung’s chest, like a weight of bricks. Keeho kneels to the floor, full on sobbing now, so exhausted that he’s not even trying to keep quiet for the sake of the other members.

 

“Keeho, this is all my fault,” Jiung sits on the edge of Keeho’s bed, slumping his face into his hands, elbows on his knees.

 

“N-no,” Keeho chokes. “I made the stupid mistake,” he wails. “Stupid, stupid, stupid…” he pulls the hood of his hoodie over his head and curls up on the floor. He’s trying so hard to keep from screaming for the sake of his sore throat that is still burning and aching.

 

The door swings open in a haste and four worried members stand in the doorway, anxiously entering the room.

 

“What happened?” Intak shouts, finally letting his anxiety get the best of him. Looking down at Keeho who has tears streaming down his face, borderline hyperventilating, and Jiung sitting there with his face in his hands.

 

“What the fuck happened?” Theo demands. He’s running to Keeho on the floor and scoops him up in his arms, sitting with him on the floor, the leaders’ head pressed against his chest.

 

Jiung looks up finally, silent tears running down his face. He clears his throat, “Keeho mistook his ADHD medication for the antibiotics he’s prescribed.”

 

“If I’m not mistaken, he’s taken uh…” he pauses, wiping his face. “Three dosages in the past twelve hours?”

 

Keeho doesn’t reply, only squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

 

“How do you feel, Steph?” Soul asks impatiently, needing to hear from Keeho himself that he’s going to be okay. Even though Keeho said two days ago that he was going to be fine and now look at him.

 

Keeho chokes on the steady breath he attempts to take, covering his mouth with his sweater sleeve before lolling his head back on Theo’s chest. Theo shushes him and cups the back of his head with his palm. Keeho balls the material of his hyung’s shirt in his small fists and tries to take another breath.

 

“I f-feel,” he hyperventilates. “Oh my God, it’s like I can’t even speak right now,” he admits. His heart is racing in his chest and the over dosages of his medication is leaving him too hyper-focused to even form words to his members.

 

“Slowly,” Intak cooes, leveling with Keeho on the floor. He places his hand on his back in comfort. Jongseob makes his way over to Jiung on the bed and puts his arm around him and Jiung’s face finds the crook of Seob’s neck as he breaks down again.

 

“Throat hurts so bad,” Keeho points to his throat. “Antibiotics, please,” he begs. Jiung pulls from Seob and claws the plastic on the top of the label. Soul, thinking ahead, eyes the room for water and grabs the bottle from the nightstand.

 

Jiung tosses Intak the antibiotics and Theo tenderly places his hand under Keeho’s chin, pulling his face away from his chest. “Kee sit up,” Theo says softly, as if anything above a whisper would shatter him into even further pieces.

 

Soul passes Keeho the water and Intak places a pill into his palm. He swallows it fast and finds Theo’s chest once more.

 

“Kee, you’re burning up,” Theo warns, feeling the heat from Keeho’s forehead through his tshirt.

 

“He has to calm down,” Jiung explains. “Right now his anxiety paired with the crying is only going to make his fever symptoms worsen.”

 

“Let’s go to the living room,” Seob suggests. “It’s more spacious and we can watch a movie or something. Is that okay with you, hyung?”

 

Keeho nods into Theo’s chest and everyone is on their feet. The oldest and Intak help their leader to his feet and they all make their way to the living room. Keeho falls head first onto the coach, giving himself deja vú. He wraps himself in the blanket beside him, placing his face in the pillow.

 

“Too bright,” Keeho whines. He’s still crying but the acceptance of his mistake has started to set in. The standing members are quick to switch the lights off and close the blinds, canceling out all of the possible light previously existing in the room.

 

Intak took a seat on the couch, lifting Keeho’s head gently and putting it on his lap with the pillow underneath his head. He circled comforting circles on his back once again.

 

Jiung and Soul opted to sit on the cushioned floor in front of Keeho, wanting to be as physically close to him as possible. Theo sat at the other end of Keeho, resting the leader’s legs on his lap and Jongseob sat in the recliner, deciding to give the leader some space.

 

“Watch whatever you want,” Keeho begged. “Just put something on please, the silence is killing me.”

 

The members decided on the first Disney movie they found on Netflix, purposely choosing to change the language to English and turned on Korean subtitles for the comfort of their leader.

 

As the movie went on, Keeho actually found himself laughing. He was smiling with the members at scenes in the movie and playfully found himself interlacing his fingers with the members as they sang duets. He didn’t take to singing loudly or belting because his throat still ached him, but the first dose of the antibiotics were slowly soothing his throat.

 

The members were also very attentive to him and were there for him the entire time. When he would hyperfocus on something unrelated to the film, such as the loose thread on his sweater sleeve or the moving hand on the clock hanging on the wall, they were quick to pull him pack to the film. Whether it be cracking a joke or comparing one of the members to the characters. And it worked every time, Keeho not even realizing it - or maybe he did but he didn’t care.

 

The first film breezed through and they started playing the second Disney movie on the Netflix homepage. The energy stayed the same throughout the second film and by the third film the members were eating the leftover chicken and snacks.

 

As the Adderall was finally wearing off by the third film Keeho felt his appetite finally coming back so he indulged in the food as well, Jiung smiling in relief as he watched his best friend regain his hunger.

 

And by the end of the third movie Keeho had turned himself into Intak’s chest, his knees scrunched to his chest, breathing softly into his members’ chest. He doesn’t remember when he dozed off but now that he is finally asleep, in the care of all of his members, he truly believes that he will finally be okay.