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"Lee Taeyong?"
Taeyong looks up to be instantly stunned by the blinding smile of none other than John Suh himself.
What the fuck is John Suh doing here?
"Johnny?" Taeyong finally talks after a beat too long, taking in all of Johnny's features — and there is a lot to take in. Though it's only been, what, only five years, still the sight manages to freeze Taeyong in his place.
The same way it used to do all those years ago.
"Yeah, hi!" Johnny says, his smile stretching from ear to ear and wrinkles prominent in the corners of his eyes. "I'm surprised to see you here."
This time Taeyong doesn't miss a beat. "The surprise is all mine."
They're in the middle of a huge formal hall at the city's food and wine expo. Taeyong is standing behind his counter, apron taut around his waist and a plate full of tarts carefully arranged on the white tablecloth in front of him. His hand is still clutching the bag of decorative topping he was in the middle of using before he was interrupted by the most gorgeous man he's ever known.
Johnny's eyes make their way down from Taeyong's face to the display of pastries — slowly, Taeyong notices. He clears his throat before he can overthink this and before the overthinking can become blatantly obvious on his all-telling face.
"What brings you here?" he asks, wondering how he managed not to stutter asking that question. Johnny's stupidly handsome, nicely dressed and stands so fucking tall, taller than Taeyong remembers him.
But what he remembers the most is this strange distance that always stayed between them. Even when they got closer, and even when they began being something akin to friends.
This time it's Johnny who hesitates to answer.
"Actually, uh, my sister kind of dragged me here," he scratches the back of his head, messing up even more his already perfectly messed up hair. "She's trying to get some chef's autograph, and I'm just here for the free samples."
Taeyong scoffs at that, for the first time since his name was called feeling like his heartbeat has returned to a regular rhythm.
"Come on, we graduated like five years ago," Taeyong teases. "Don't you think it's time to let go of the broke student mindset?"
Johnny rolls his eyes and his hands push against the counter, making himself comfortable dominating the entire space in front of Taeyong. He leans forward and scans the pretty arrangement of pastries before his gaze goes over the hands that made it — and Taeyong shifts under the suddenly intense scrutiny.
God, Johnny's fucking big.
Has he picked up working out?
"Old habits die hard," Johnny shrugs before redirecting his attention to the subject at hand. "So this is what you're up to these days?"
Taeyong catches the way Johnny says this — without any sense of superiority or arrogance, but rather with a tone of pleasant surprise. He glances up to Taeyong with the same amazement in his eyes, and Taeyong swallows. It was always the way that Johnny looked at people, the way he looked at Taeyong that made him feel special, different from everyone else.
"Yeah, I guess," Taeyong says, his confidence suddenly nowhere to be found when it comes to being face to face with Johnny. "I ended up going to culinary school and just recently opened a bakery."
Johnny nods and glances around at the pastel banners of Taeyong's bakery stand, the grand logos that should have made it obvious to him what Taeyong's new life is all about. But there's no realistic way for him to know that, as he seems just as stunned by the fact that he's here having this conversation as Taeyong.
"Can't blame you for ditching our major for this," Johnny nods but avoids Taeyong's eyes. "I've always wondered what you've been up to since disappearing."
The way he says that brings up all the ambiguity that their non-relationship had.
They danced around each other for the entire four years of university, fate forcing them together any chance it got. Their computer engineering major took them through the same curriculum, so they ended up partnering up often and getting closer the more they worked together.
All seemed fine until it suddenly dawned on Taeyong that this field was not for him, so he pulled through by the skin on his teeth. His commitment issues managed to rear their head even in his academic life.
And he had a different set of priorities at the time — like getting fucked up enough to drown out the gossip about the next girl his gorgeous but unattainable classmate was seen with. Although, as much as he remembers, Johnny never seemed to keep the same girls around for long.
But point is, Taeyong has made a lot of progress since then — especially in terms of his priorities.
"Glad to see some things stayed the same," Johnny interrupts his train of thoughts. "You're still spacing out as usual."
Taeyong laughs, high-pitched and raw while evading Johnny's eyes before they see right through him.
"Stop avoiding it," Taeyong says, and it makes Johnny's breath catch in a brief, barely noticeable instant. "Don't you want to try what you came here for?"
Johnny breathes out. "I don't even know what I came here for anymore."
Taeyong tries his best to ignore the ramping up of his heartbeat at Johnny's sincere words. He holds out a cute mini tart topped off with a cherry glaze, and Johnny looks at it before taking it with a genuinely confused look.
"How am I supposed to eat this?"
Taeyong is pleased to see he's still the same giant idiot underneath it all.
"Just bite it?" Taeyong picks up one for himself, leading it towards his mouth as he demonstrates. "Like a cookie, I guess."
He bites, hums and swallows — and Johnny watches the entire time. Then, he eats the tart in his own hand, taking the entire thing in one bite.
After a while, he nods and comments. "Not bad."
"Not bad?" Taeyong scoffs again, crossing his arms over the front of his apron. Johnny grins while looking him over before replying again.
"Fine, it's perfect," Johnny says with an incredulous grin. "It's perfect just like everything about you. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Taeyong's heartbeat pumps loud in his ears and he cannot bring himself to look away from Johnny.
"Precisely," he says, shaking the crumbs off his hands and awkwardly looking to them, just to look anywhere else. But he's pulled back to Johnny again when the other speaks.
"Listen, do you wanna get dinner later?" he outright says it. "I don't think that having sweets all day is a sustainable diet."
It takes less than a second for Taeyong's answer to come through.
"Yes," he blurts out before trying to regain some footing here. "It's so nice of you to worry. I'll be done here in a few hours, think you can stick around?"
Johnny's smile lines come through again when he breaks out into a grin.
"Sure thing."
Dinner went by surprisingly light and easy, then quickly turned into a rendezvous to the next-door bar.
It was so easy to be around Johnny that Taeyong was reminded why they got close in the first place. It almost seemed like they got back to where they left off — the place they were before Taeyong disappeared, or before Johnny failed to keep up. Right now, it seems useless to toss the blame around.
Because now, Johnny's hand is on Taeyong's thigh, and they're leaning close to each other with alcohol heavy on their breaths.
The bartender slides two more shots towards them and Taeyong is quick to intercept Johnny's hand with his own credit card. After the bartender takes it, Taeyong grabs the glasses and hands them out.
"This round is on me as an overdue thank you for dragging my ass through senior year," he says, the alcohol getting him all sentimental. "I wouldn't have graduated if it weren't for you."
"You can't be serious, we barely saw each other that year," Johnny says and his hand on Taeyong's leg squeezes. "To be honest, I didn't even think you'd recognize me when I called your name earlier."
Taeyong keeps his jaw from dropping, otherwise it might become too painfully obvious that Johnny has been on his mind ever since the last day they saw each other.
"Are you kidding me?" Taeyong laughs. "Here I can barely believe that you remember my face."
"You've got a face that's impossible to forget."
Taeyong's breath catches again, and he thinks that counting the number of times Johnny has stolen his breath away today he may end up unconscious by the end of the night.
"Johnny," Taeyong says, the alcohol pulsing through his blood and to his tongue, untying it loose. "What are we doing here?"
To his surprise this just boldens Johnny and they still for a moment, the world around them seeming to fade away as Johnny speaks over the soft strands of hair over the shell of Taeyong's ear.
"I've missed too many chances with you," he says, sending shivers running down Taeyong's spine. "I thought this might be my final one."
Johnny barely gets a moment to pull back before Taeyong tears away to meet his lips in a solid kiss, collapsing his entire body into him. It's a simple touch of the lips, pressed unmoving against his mouth, but a restless trembling in them threatening to break away.
It's Johnny who moves to take the back of Taeyong's head and tilt his face, pulling back only a moment before capturing his mouth again. In this split moment they sense the nearly tangible feeling of the thread between them snapping, their lips eagerly pulling at each other and teeth biting down on flesh. Their tongues meet in the space between them and Taeyong feels his moan die in Johnny's mouth.
He remembers they're in the middle of a bar and Johnny seems to be on the same train of thought.
"Come over to my place?" Johnny says with his mouth just barely ghosting above Taeyong's.
Taeyong vigorously nods. "I love that idea."
Johnny doesn't even turn the light on when he kicks the door shut behind them. His priority is Taeyong — and the indecisiveness between pulling all his clothes off and pressing him into the wall.
Taeyong whimpers against Johnny’s lips when the other pushes his coat down his shoulders, never a moment when his mouth is free of him. They kiss messily, spit meeting between their mouths and Taeyong loving it. He loves Johnny's heavy breaths against his skin, his rough hands pulling apart the fabric of his dress shirt like he cannot wait to have Taeyong naked under him.
"Fuck," Taeyong swears when Johnny finally releases his mouth only to attach his lips to the pale planes of his neck. Meanwhile, Taeyong's hands are fumbling with Johnny's belt buckle, yanking at it until his pants come loose. "Fucking want you."
Johnny growls and takes Taeyong's face in his hands, rough when he presses their lips together again. Taeyong hurries to push Johnny's pants down his ass and he almost sinks all the way to his knees before Johnny is pulling him back up.
"Wait, not here," he says, and without hesitation takes Taeyong and picks him up in his arms.
Taeyong yelps and wraps his legs around Johnny until his ankles lock behind his back, holding up tight against him. To his slutty demise his cock grows to aching hardness between them, pressing into Johnny's hard abdomen as he's carried to the bedroom in a solid hold.
When he's placed down the coolness of the sheets is a stark contrast to the heat of Johnny's body covering him. Johnny's fringe hangs over his eyes and there's something dark about him, and Taeyong nearly drools at the sight.
"God, Johnny—" Taeyong arches up, not believing himself that his is the name he's moaning out into the night. Meanwhile the callous hands hastily pull the remains of Taeyong's clothing off him until he lays bare under a prowling Johnny.
He looks down at him with unreadable eyes and for some reason he just stops, and only stares. But Taeyong is restless and takes that instance to wrap his arms around Johnny's shoulders to shove him down, determined to continue where they left off in the foyer.
Taeyong crawls back down between Johnny's thighs — his huge fucking thighs that could crack his skull open if he squeezed too hard. His hand sneaks past the waistband of his briefs until it can finally wrap around Johnny's cock.
And it's as perfect, hot and heavy in his hand as Taeyong always dreamed it would be. He avoids looking up as if that will somehow break the fantasy and focuses on getting his briefs down his legs.
His fist grips Johnny's cock tightly now, feeling it from the head to the base before he leans over it and flicks his tongue out over the tip.
“Jesus, fuck,” Johnny babbles, his chest heaving alarmingly fast as his head hits back against the pillows. “Fuck, holy fuck—“
Taeyong pauses and leans back, finally looking up at him. “You okay?”
“Ah, fuck, I fucking— I just can’t believe this is real,” Johnny says with a laugh, and Taeyong would laugh too if that wasn’t exactly what he was feeling too. “I think my brain is having a hard time keeping up.”
Taeyong grins, crawling over Johnny for a moment to kiss him. Instantly he's grabbed into large and secure hands, caressing up over his back and into his hair as Johnny kisses him back with the same fervor. It takes all his might for Taeyong to pull away and return to his place between Johnny's legs.
This time Taeyong does not hesitate to guide his cock into his mouth, earning a long groan from Johnny as he does so. He diligently sucks him into his mouth until it stops at his own hand coiled around the base — so much length and not enough throat for all of it. Still he tries his best, taking Johnny in again and again until he's gagging on his own drool.
"Fuck, Taeyong, wait!" Johnny's hands fly to Taeyong's hair, gripping it to hold his head still. "Wait- I'm not gonna last."
Taeyong does not respond to Johnny's pleas, only fights against Johnny's fingers in his hair to take his cock all the way back into his throat, moaning around it as he feels it start to twitch. The next moment he's releasing him, jacking Johnny off to completion until he's coming over Taeyong's face, his load landing messy across it in warm spurts.
Taeyong grins like a maniac, slowing his hand down as he feels Johnny's cock soften. Meanwhile Johnny is staring down at him with wide eyes, mouth agape as he watches the scene in front of him.
"God, Taeyong, you're so fucking hot," Johnny says, pushing up off the bed so he can cup Taeyong's face in his hand. He uses his thumb to swipe the trace of cum down his cheek and from the corner of his mouth. "Fuck, you should fucking see yourself."
Taeyong lets out a laugh, crazy and loud because he cannot get enough of the way Johnny is looking at him — with all of his attention, all the awe in the world. Johnny's eyes are black when he takes his discarded shirt and clumsily passes it over Taeyong's face to clean it off. In the rush he pulls Taeyong up and tosses him on his back, parting his legs with a firm grip on each thigh.
"My turn," is all he says before swallowing Taeyong's length whole.
Taeyong screams and arches out, legs fighting against Johnny's hands to close down on his head, the warmth of his mouth too fucking good on his long-neglected cock. Johnny goes down on him eagerly, working only his mouth on him as his hands keep Taeyong’s legs apart. His lips and tongue work to drive him to insanity, and it's only a matter of minutes before Taeyong's climax hits him and he's spilling in Johnny's mouth with an agonized moan.
Johnny pulls off but Taeyong doesn't notice him swallow before he's flipped over on his stomach. Johnny's hands are back on him, strong and commanding as they pull his hips towards his face. Then each hand grabs and spreads him apart. He feels the sudden coolness of the air hit his entrance and then he hears Johnny spit his messy load of spit and Taeyong's cum right on his asshole.
Taeyong groans and pushes his hips back, reeling at how nasty Johnny was being with him, right down to all of Taeyong’s worst fantasies. Johnny's fingers smear the slick mess over his entrance before they push in, with Taeyong body giving easily to the first two fingers.
Johnny barely needs to move them inside before Taeyong is fucking back against them, circling his hips in quiet desperation.
"Oh, you like that?" Johnny says, his free hand keeping Taeyong's cheeks spread as his two fingers fuck into him.
Taeyong nods wildly. "Fuck yes, love it—"
"You're so fucking hot," Johnny says over the squelching sound of his working fingers. "So fucking nasty and hot."
Taeyong goes dizzy with everything Johnny is feeding him, so intense and beyond everything he’s dreamed about.
He feels Johnny pull out of him and the sudden emptiness is jarring, distant. He throws a glance over his shoulder as Johnny lines up behind him and abruptly stops him.
"Wait," Taeyong says with a hand on Johnny's arm. "I— I wanna see you."
A grin comes through Johnny's bewildered look. "Come here."
In a tangle of limbs Johnny pulls Taeyong to straddle his hips as he leans back against the headboard, and the sudden change in position gives Taeyong instant whiplash. Though Taeyong has all the control, he feels more exposed now than ever. He reaches behind himself and takes Johnny's cock to line it up against his entrance, begging to be filled up again. Meanwhile, Johnny's hands find their position on Taeyong's waist, thumbs digging into the skin to help hold him there.
"Fuck—" Taeyong breaks out when Johnny finally breaches his entrance. His head rolls back as he wills himself to relax and move Johnny's cock deeper inside, trembling all the way down to his feet at the feeling of being so filled up.
"Taeyong, you're so fucking gorgeous," Johnny says with a strained voice, his hair sticking to his forehead with a thin layer of sweat. "So fucking gorgeous like this, so much better than I ever imagined."
"Johnny—" Taeyong says because it's all he can say, some words breaking through all the incoherency in his head. "Wait, what…"
"I've dreamed about this day for so fucking long," Johnny says, sitting up until their chests are flush against each other and their lips are nearly touching. "But dreams don't even come close."
Taeyong captures his lips in a sudden kiss, impatient mouth moving feverishly against his. His eyes press shut and he leans in, resting his forehead against Johnny's.
“Don’t make me emotional when your cock is in my fucking guts," he says.
“Sorry, sorry,” Johnny apologizes through gritted teeth, his fingers starting to dig in to the bone at Taeyong’s hips. “Ah, fuck, Taeyong, please move. Fuck—“
Taeyong exhales to stall the moment and enjoy the sound of Johnny's begging, and also to take the time for his own body to calm down. Every inch of his skin has been vibrating since Johnny made his way inside him, and he does not feel even remotely prepared for what will happen when he finally begins to move.
His hips shift and he lifts up, slowly with Johnny's help who then guides him back down onto him. He establishes a rhythm but quickly loses it, lost between Johnny's unbearably kind touch and his cock filling him to the brim and threatening to tear him apart. Taeyong fucks back onto him deliriously now, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he wills to make it through this alive.
Johnny's breaths get heavier as he leans forward to kiss Taeyong again, panting against his mouth.
"Ah, fuck, fuck, Taeyong—"
With the final uttering of Taeyong's name Johnny moans and spills inside him, milked to the final drop by his clenching body as Taeyong keeps fucking down onto him and chasing his own orgasm. Johnny's arms wrap around him and press him tightly against himself, forcing him to still on his softening cock as Johnny's hand finally takes Taeyong's erection, sprung red again and so neglected between them. He pumps it mercilessly fast until Taeyong is shaking as his second climax of the night takes him.
Taeyong collapses against Johnny's shoulder and the other lets him, resting there until they can breathe evenly and in unison. Even though Taeyong is dead tired, he weakly pushes up against Johnny to pull off him, but the other just stops him to catch his mouth in a kiss again.
Their lips move slowly against one another, finally kissing without that sense of time running out. Taeyong slowly goes dizzier and dizzier but doesn’t stop him, not wanting to return to a world without Johnny’s lips.
After a while Johnny pulls away, freeing himself to get up them cleaned up.
Taeyong lays in Johnny's bed for a while after he retreats — with handfuls of towels wet with cum and sweat, leaving Taeyong at least half-decently clean and in a fresh shirt. He looks up at the dark ceiling and takes in the surroundings of Johnny's bedroom that he can manage to see with the faint illumination of only the moonlight.
Taking in a deep breath he could almost cry at this absolute heaven — the scent of Johnny completely enveloping him, his touch from before still lingering on his skin.
It does not take long for him to realize that he can terribly miss what he had mere moments ago and vacates the safety of the bedsheets in search of Johnny. The search is short because Johnny's apartment is modestly sized, likely because he lives alone so close to the center of the city.
But his large frame is easily seen through the windows to the balcony as he leans over the railing as a perfectly still silhouette.
Taeyong tries to open the door as quietly as he can, but Johnny is already looking over his shoulder to watch him come out. The sight of Taeyong walking barefoot with only his shirt covering him has Johnny softly smiling.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey," Taeyong responds, almost too scared to break the sanctity of the silence by any other words. Then, he notices the cigarette lodged between Johnny's fingers. "Since when do you smoke?"
"I told you that you were smart to change fields," Johnny says while taking a quick drag. "Since I started my job. Fucking stressful."
Taeyong nods and comes closer to him, hugging the shirt Johnny gave him closer to his body as the wind tickles his ankles. The breeze messes up his hair and dissipates the smoke as it coils out of Johnny's mouth. He puts out the cigarette against the metal of the railing, discarding it in an ashtray.
"Sorry if it's gross."
"I don't think anything about you could be gross to me," Taeyong admits, and even though he tries to say it with a light tone they feel how heavy it lands between them.
"Can I admit something?" Johnny asks, and when he gets a soft nod from Taeyong, he says. "I was honestly terrified to come back inside and find you gone."
That confession hurts Taeyong but he does not necessarily blame Johnny for feeling this way. Still, his heart feels the ache of all the feelings that he has been carrying with him all these years. And although the sex was incredible, it does not necessarily give Taeyong complete closure. Not with Johnny.
"Johnny, I—" Taeyong swallows, holding his breath before his own confession comes. "I've always wanted you. Even to this day, I still—"
Johnny turns to him with wide eyes, waiting in the long silence after Taeyong cuts himself off. Then, he speaks again.
"But you never said anything," Johnny says, softly. "I never even knew."
"I think I was scared that this — us — would actually be something real," Taeyong says, glancing over the skyline of the city as his truths sit heavy with him. "I was not ready for that back then."
Johnny follows his gaze as they stand still together in the howling of the night wind. His hand hesitantly moves over the cold metal of the railing to cover Taeyong's, threading his fingers in the spaces between them. After a long while, he leans closer into Taeyong to whisper.
“You were always on my mind,” Johnny says, looking to Taeyong with a new sort of glimmer in his eyes. “Even with someone else, my thoughts always wandered back to you.”
“Now I hate thinking that I wasted nearly a decade when I could have just… asked."
Taeyong takes Johnny's hand between his own and brings it up to his mouth, pressing a faint kiss over each cold knuckle. His hand smells of cigarette smoke and Taeyong breathes it in, resting the tangle of hands against his lips.
"It's no coincidence we made our way back to each other again," Taeyong says, his breath warm against Johnny's skin. "It may be meant to be."