Chapter Text
The warm, light breeze blew gently through your loosely braided hair as you fingered the next page of your book. You were on the castle grounds, trying to hide from both your mother and your Lady's Maid. Although your mother thought that academic pursuits were important for you, as the future heir to the Iron Throne, she also was under the firm belief that reading for pleasure was not for ladies, and was certainly a waste of time. You weren't of the same opinion though, of course, and tried to find any opportunity to escape your duties and read something that was far away from the stresses and politics of your life. You were dedicated to performing your duties, you were dedicated to pleasing your mother and Daemon, you were dedicated to being the perfect example of a Lady of the court, and a Princess at that. So if you drew some slight enjoyment from occasionally stealing away with a novel, where things were easy and simple and people were lovely and kind, then who could blame you?
You loved being with nature and a novel. The grass beneath your skirts was soft, the Autumn air was fresh and crisp. The past two days had been grueling and you truly just needed to be where there were no expectations for you. The tenseness between your mother and Alicent Hightower directly impacted your day to day life, and there was no room for error or for causing instances of gossip. One slip up and you feared even more for your stability in an already tumultuous court. The Hightowers would jump on a scandal, defaming both your name and the names of your mother and siblings before you could even blink. Your grandfather had insisted that you dine together as a family every night this week, and the stress of dining in the same room with your family, Alicent, and her children was almost unbearable. You certainly weren't looking forward to tonight's meal, as last night's had been absolutely filled with sharp barbs and veiled insults, although your name had yet to be directly dragged through the mud.
You continued to read for a bit longer before finally closing your book, knowing that the concern for your whereabouts would grow too great the closer you got to dinner time. Your lady's maid would be looking for you to change for dinner, so that you would look every bit the lady you needed to be to support your family's claim to the throne. You stood up to leave, tucking your book under your arm. You were almost finished with the story, anyway, and you would return it to the library tonight once everyone was asleep. Finding time alone was becoming increasingly difficult, and you valued any time you did have. You tried to avoid being seen wandering alone, but sometimes it simply could not be avoided.
The walk to the castle was one filled with calming breaths to help you return to the graceful, charming, Princess you knew you had to be. You smiled as you walked past guards, a nod of acknowledgment as you walked past the other castle staff. You wanted them to think you were gentle, unassuming, so that when you took to power there would be little gossip or resistance to your rein. You were constantly planning ahead. Your mother instilled that in you, never giving you the same freedoms your brothers had to just live in the moment. You had a feeling she had learned the hard way, the way that gossip moves around a castle, and she wanted to save you from the same fate. As her only daughter, she knew the ways that women struggled were worse than that of men, different, and she wanted to keep you safe.
You breezed to your chambers, smiling to your lady's maid as you walked through the door. "Your grace," she greeted with a curtsey, before the two of you broke out in giggles. She was around your age, joyful, kind, and the relationship you had was akin to friendship. "where have you been today? I feel as though I haven't seen you at." Her knowing look was met with a waved hand, downplaying her concern.
"I've just been strolling. I know, I know, I should have had you with me but..."
"But you were busy doing whatever it is that you get up to when you disappear." She rolled her eyes good naturedly, taking a deep breath before switching gears, "Now, I know you don't want to attend this evening at all. But what would you like to wear? You can at least look lovely while doing something you detest." She sat you down in the plush seat in front of your vanity, standing behind you and looking at your eyes in the mirror, unplaiting your hair as she spoke. "What if you wore that blue dress? The one that has the delicate embroidery on the neck?" She smoothed your hair out as she went to fetch it, her practiced hands familiar.
"Oh, yes, Alessandra," you agreed, smiling at the beautifully pigmented dress. It really was lovely, and you had to admit, you did look beautiful when you wore it. "I think that dress is just what we need to make this affair more tolerable, don't you?" You allowed her to unlace your dress and relace your corset. Then, you slipped into the dress, the light blue falling gently along your curves. The color was very fitting, bringing out the color of your eyes and the pink of your lips. You smiled at your reflection, sitting back down for Alessandra to plait your hair. She knew exactly how you liked it for events like these, and frankly, you didn't know what you would do without her. She took care of you and provided companionship in few ways anyone else did. You wanted to feel lovely to detract from the tension that waited for you in the wake of the family dinner. Looking lovely, laughing politely, allowed you to exist comfortably. You tried to appease all parties to really maintain what levels of peace you could.
When Alessandra was done, she smiled at her handiwork. You were ready for your fate, the damned fate that was family dinner, and you simply couldn't wait for it to be over. Both so you could return your book to the library, and also so that you could select a new one.
********
You sat straight backed at the dinner table, Lucerys on one side and Helaena on your other. You did have to admit, Helaena was good conversation and non-threatening in a room full of vipers. You knew better than to assume that she was fully docile, however, as you played quite the doe eyed roll yourself, but she was at least pleasant. She didn't send insults your way, anyway, like her brother-husband, or her mother.
"I rather like your dress." She smiled over at you. "It's a quite lovely color on you."
"I rather like yours too, Halaena," you responded, "that purple is pretty. How are you enjoying the turn of the season? The fall weather is nice, is it not?" You asked conversationally. Frankly, she just looked happy someone was speaking with her.
"The fall air is fresh, and the foliage-" her voice was treaded over by a sudden interruption.
"Yes, you both do look lovely, Niece," Helaena's brother-husband sneered from beside her, his eyes leering in your direction, "the conversations of women are rather dull, are they not, Nephew?" He addressed your brother, who scoffed in response. Aegon's own brother, Aemond, looked on in a seemingly bored and unattached manner, as though the entire affair was beneath him. Truly, none of you had any interest in being there, besides your grandfather who looked pleased as pie (despite the palpable tension in the room).
You continued on as though he hadn't spoken at all, "Yes, Halaena, I would have to agree. The leaves are quite lovely, are they not? If you'd care to go for a walk tomorrow, we can document some of them in your sketch book." You smiled at her, taking her hand. She needed an ally. Her husband was a brute, and not subtly. You hoped better for yourself. You knew your mother wouldn't actively marry you off to someone who was knowingly like Aegon, but she would marry you to someone who stood to your family's advantage. If he turned out to be like Aegon behind closed doors, well, you knew there was little your could do.
"Why, yes, y/n! That would be quite enjoyable. I actually saw the most lovely-" the excitement drained swiftly from her eyes as Aegon's hand clamped around her arm. You felt anger at the fear that immediately entered her face, replaced quickly after with placid neutrality. You were one in the same, Halaena and yourself. The roles you were playing might be slightly different, but they were roles all the same.
"Y/n, you do not ignore me." His voice wasn't angry, but it was terse. It was meant to intimidate. It was something so clearly practiced by someone so used to getting what they wanted, that no one else in the room balked. Frankly, you were growing very used to Aegon's antics, but they were so rarely turned on you that you did feel the slight fear climb into your throat. You didn't let it show, though- you couldn't. If he had any idea he could intimidate you, he wouldn't stop. You took a deep breath, practicing a response in your head before you came across as anything besides charming and lovely.
Your brother chimed in before you could. Jace was younger than you, and on the almost entirely other side of the table, but he did take caring for you quite seriously, "Aegon, my sister is a Princess. You are to address her as such."
"Like you, actually," Aegon began, the sneer evident in his voice "your sister is a Str-"
Before he could finish, your grandfather clapped his hands. "I think we should begin dinner with a dance. As a family, don't you agree? Jacerys, you dance with Alicent, won't you? And Aemond, y/n is not yet married and neither are you. Dance with her!" He laughed good naturedly. The rest of the family tensed immediately, plastering smiles that didn't match their eyes on their faces.
You were the first to speak. "Of course, grandfather! That sounds like a lovely idea." Despite the confidence and cheer in your voice, and the kind smile you sent your grandfather, you were unsure. Aemond was sitting stiffly in his seat. The placating smile you gave did nothing to prompt him to rise, to escort you to the floor where Alicent and your brother were already heading, where your mother and Daemon were heading. The musicians struck up a lively tune. Aemond sat still, staring at you as you looked on, confusion clear on your face. Wasn't the ruse everyone was playing clear to him, too?
You were beginning to feel embarrassed. Aegon and Haleana took to the floor, his grip still too tight on her body for your liking. She seemed to be grimacing slightly behind the look she gave her husband. Still, Aemond sat. "Come, my son! Ask y/n to dance." Viseyrs prompted. A blush began to rise to your face as he stared. You didn't know what to do. It was so blindingly uncomfortable, you bit your cheek to ward the tears from coming to your eyes.
Finally, Luc stood, offering his hand. "Come, sister." You smiled, the relief filling your body quickly. You hadn't thought Aemond so cruel. Quiet, yes, calculating, possibly, but not cruel. And what had just transpired was cruel and foolish. You were all playing a game, and if people blatantly refused to play, well, it simply would not work.
Aemond's eyes burned into you as you danced, and the food tasted like ash in your mouth once you finally had the chance to eat it.
You had never felt less charming or beautiful.
*****
That night, you looked forward to returning your book and selecting a new one. Alessandra having helped you ready for bed and you both retiring for the night, you were ready for your midnight trip. You wrapped your dressing gown around yourself, the night air chilling you without it. You reasoned with yourself that you had done this before, that it would be quick and painless, that no one would see you. But still, you felt the nerves entering your body.
You opened the door as quietly as you could, clutching your bedside candle as tightly as you could. The book you were returning was placed securely under your arm. You tiptoed into the hallway, looking around before entering fully. It was scandalous enough to be caught wandering the halls at night. But to be caught doing so in your dressing gown? You shuddered at the thought.
The walk to the library from your chambers was not a long one, but it felt like ages. Once you arrived, you opened and shut the library doors as quickly and quietly as you could arrange, a grimace gracing your features. The sound was quiet, but it could not be quiet enough. The consequences you would face, while not dire, would be consequences none the less and not ones you would be looking forward to. You walked to the shelf you had picked your recently finished book from and placed it back on the shelf.
Once you had set it back, you could relax enough to pick a book. Perusing the shelves brought you excitement and comfort. You had just seen a title you might be interested in reading when-
"Why are you out so late?"
You turned quickly, your hand shooting swiftly to your chest. You were petrified. The face you looked at was the last one you expected to see. Aemond looked at you, his functioning eye brow raised, his body lounging lazily in a chair. He had been here since you had arrived, and likely well before.
"I'm picking a book." You reasoned, your voice breathless and panicked.
He smirked. "Alone? So late?"
You nodded, your breathing leveling out some "Yes. There's no better time for me to do it. If I want to read what I enjoy, anyway."
He observed you, nodding quietly. You took this as your cue to keep looking. The faster you found a book, the faster you could be away from him. You pulled a book off the shelf, a novel about a young country family and their gentle life, and went to leave.
"You were embarrassed at dinner tonight." Aemond spoke, his voice low and quiet.
"Yes." You said before you could speak better of it.
"I- well, I'm sorry about your embarrassment." He took a deep breath, as though this conversation was difficult for him to have. "I just have- well, being told what- I didn't like father telling us to dance. Just because you are unmarried doesn't mean I should be forced to dance with you." His tone stung, for some reason, but you nodded all the same.
"All is forgiven." You responded, nodding superficially.
"You misunderstand me. You shouldn't have to dance with anyone you do not want just because it is willed by my father." He nodded, more sure of what he had said. You agreed with him.
"Thank you, Aemond. Now, if you'll-"
"You can stay and read. I won't say anything if you won't. That's why I'm here, too." He held up his own book. You considered for a moment before relenting and seating yourself on the chaise and opening the book. You wondered if this was something Aemond did often, but decided better of asking. You began your book, the two of you falling into a nice, busy silence. It was nice to have some company, you realized, as you entered into the second chapter of your book. You realized it was getting late. You stood up, looking over at Aemond who quirked his eyebrow at you.
"I must retire. Enjoy your reading." He nodded at you and looked back at his book. Before he did, however, you noticed the once over he gave you in your nightgown. As your left, you tried your very hardest not to think on it any more. It would not do anyone any good.