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I refused to put you in the danger

Chapter Text

"Today is a chilling day, don't you think so? Mr Cheddar? " Kevin bent down and rubbed Cheddar's ears before setting him free to run around the dog park that they frequently visited.

He stood in the middle of the ground and look after Cheddar who runs happily around the benches and trees, chasing squirrels or butterflies or any moving object that he saw. It was a lovely morning where Kevin do not have his first class until 3 hours later, so he had plenty of time here.

"Hi Kevin, how do you do? " There are occasional pleasantries exchanged with some of the other dog's owner happening in the scene as well, which Kevin somehow enjoyed, and they will talk about their dog's recent behaviors or anything that need to look out for.

"Cheddar? Where are you? " At one point after he said goodbye to another lovely German Shepherd's owner, he turned around and found himself losing sight of his fluffy boy. And then he spotted the creamy-white colored Corgi is running towards a bush that near to the side of the road.

"Cheddar, why are you there? Come back please. " Kevin walks over there to follow his fluffy boy without thinking, only intend to bring back his dog.

"Cheddar? " Kevin approached the bush and squatted down so that he can have a better view of what is in front while calling Cheddar.

Until he felt something was on his back, something unusual and dangerous, at least to him.

"Good Morning, Professor Kevin Cozner. " A deep voice came behind him, a voice that sounds hoarse, definitely not someone he knows.

Kevin swallowed slowly to pull himself together. He cannot panic, not at a place like this.

"Good Morning, I... believed that I do not know you. " He speaks calmly, however if Raymond were here, he will recognize the trembled and fear underneath it.

"Yes, you do not know me. But your husband does, now how about you walk with me? Hmm? I need you to do me a favour, and I am not asking. " The man push the gun deeper into his sweater, likely to push him move forward.

"... Okay. " Kevin stands up slowly and moving forward one step at a time, slow enough but not enough to draw attention. He could not afford to have this gunman going rampage at a dog park, at a place that is full of people, not to mention a bunch of kids are here.

"Good. Professor. It is so easy to talk to smart people, they always know what not to do... and what to do. " The man keep pushing him and eventually they end up at the car park where a car had its door opened. There is no one in the car park, so no way for Kevin to ask for help. They stood by the car, and he can feel there is someone else in the car.

The next thing he knew was this sharp pain that came from the back of his head, and then he was drawn to darkness.

"Quick and clean, your skill is improving. " The man from the car poked his head out while the other man dragging Kevin to the back of the car.

"Help me tied him up, don't just sit there and use your mouth! " Soon after, the car was driven away.

"What ya do with his dog? "

"I shot him with a dose of drug I stole from vet. "

"Why not just kill it? "

"Kill a dog and attract attention? What do you think the people at the park will find after they found the dog dead? "

"Mmm hmm alright. But this guy is a professor, his workplace gonna find him anyway. "

"I checked his next class is in another 3 hours, and trust me. " "3 hours is more than what we need. "


When Cheddar woke up in a bush, he was confused.

"Woof? " He stands up, he looked around. He recognizes this place, this is the place where he can run around and play with a lot of things. Usually he came with his dad, the one that smelled like one of the room in the house. The books.

But where is he?

Cheddar follows the smell until he reached the car park, he did not see his dad. But he remembered he was the one that took him here. And now he is gone, with the smell stopped at here.

Cheddar moved his ear, something in him tells him it is not right. Dad will not leave him here.

"Woo... " And his right back foot is hurt, someone... someone hurt him. That someone might hurt his dad, too.

"Woof! " Cheddar perked up his ear and starts running, he needs to find the other dad. He knows the road back to the house, and from there he knows the road to the place his other dad always brings him to. Usually is fetching some weird stuff, but he gets treats afterwards.

Somehow Cheddar knows, something is not right. This is not what it usually is, this is not what it supposed to be.

He had to get to his other dad, quick.


It is a bright sunny day over at the 99th precinct. Jake is whining about Wario as usual and the only listener he had is Charles.

"I told you it was not fair! " Jake was taking the elevator while he spotted a certain fluffy boy was running towards them.

"Oh hi Cheddar, did captain bring you to work today? " Jake pets the dog while walking into the elevator.

"That is strange, today is not heist day, isn't it? " Charles was always happy to see a dog, but it is unusual for captain to bring in Cheddar at a normal day.

"No, if it is heist day I will be the first one to know... Oh he ran off. " As soon as the elevator door opened, Cheddar dashed out.

"Oh Hi Cheddar, why are you here? " Terry asked, but Cheddar did not stop and run right past him.

"Woof! Woof! Woof! " Cheddar stopped at the front door of Captain Raymond Holt's office and start barking.

The whole bullpen are watching as the scene unfold.

The door on Captain's office opened, and the captain looked confused: "Cheddar? Why are you here? "

"Captain, isn't you the one who bring him here? " Amy was moving her chair so she can stay away from the dog, stupid allergy.

"No, at this time he should be walking in the dog park with Kevin. Did Kevin bring you here? Where is he? " Raymond looked at his dog, Cheddar appears to be a little disheveled, his fur is dirty, like he ran outside for a long time.

"Woof! Woof! " Cheddar can't talk, but he looks at Raymond with an expression that signs danger.

"... Is Kevin in danger? Is that why you are here? To tell me? " Raymond had a bad feeling about this. This is unusual, and Kevin is nothing but a routine man, he will not break their routine if not for something emergency happened. Or something bad happened.

He brings his dog to his arm and that is when he noticed the dog winced when he touched his right back foot. He checked and found a short needle there, the one that looks like used by the vet.

Kevin will never leave such things on their dog. Kevin will never let Cheddar runs at outside for too long without cleaning him. Kevin will never let Cheddar came to the precinct alone. There was only one explanation, only one possibility.

Sudden panic arised from his inner side and made him feeling dizzy for a second. Raymond took a deep breath to try to calm down. This is wrong. He knows that. He knows from his gut feeling.

Kevin is in danger.

"Squad, pardon me. " There is no time to waste. Raymond sprinted back to his office to pick up his jacket. He had to go to the dog park, right now.


When he rushed to the park, Cheddar lead him to the carpark, where there is very few car right now due to it was almost noon. Cheddar barked at the same spot that he last smelled his dad, but there were nothing.

"Cheddar, is this where you last saw Kevin? " Raymond petted Cheddar who was obviously upset at the spot. Then he looked around. He does not came to this park very often, in fact most of the dog walking task are done by Kevin. He knows this park but not "know" this park.

"Cheddar, can you show me where you injured your foot? " Kevin is no fool on the safety precautions, he must be tricked and took by surprise so he could not perform his self defense skills against the kidnapper.

Cheddar lead him to the nearby bushes, he found the rest of the needle under one of the bush. This must be where Cheddar got attacked, maybe Kevin got lured into the bush and that is how he got kidnapped. Maybe the kidnapper threaten him with a gun so he did not fight back.

It is a bright sunny day but Raymond felt cold, he looked at the needles and its surroundings. He could not find anything. Kevin did not left anything behind.

He had nothing to begin with. Yet Kevin is still gone. How will he find him? How can he find him? He's a detective yet he had not a single thing.

Raymond felt as if a cold hand had squeezed his heart and leave him breathless. He hated being passive but this is all he have. He had to wait for the kidnapper to contact him, presumably they would. Else...

No, do not think that right now. Be tough for Kevin. Raymond swallowed hard and thought.

"Woo... " Cheddar is barking softly, in a sad way. He knows his dad is incapable of bringing his other dad home right now.

"I'm sorry, Cheddar. I had nothing. We have to wait for them to call. " Raymond could not believe he is thinking this but all he could do now is pray. The kidnapper must want something from him, not Kevin. Never... never Kevin.

His nightmare is becoming true. Ever since Kevin was with him, he had this tiny voice, little thoughts lingering around his mind, that his job will cost safety even from Kevin. He taught him self defense, but he knows it was not enough. It was never enough. The world had too much Seamus Murphy and Raymond could not protect Kevin from them, not if he is still a cop and still messing with the criminals.

He always convinced himself, that the criminal will go after him rather than Kevin. He never want them to have anything to do with Kevin, but it seems like this is his pipe dream after all, where in reality the criminals will get what they want using any way.

His mind could not help but playback to a few kidnap cases that he worked before, he had an exceptional memory, he remember clearly for the case details. And... how the victim looked like in the end of the case. They are...

Some tears are rolling down his face when he was driving back to the precinct while thinking all of these. He mentally warned himself not to picture Kevin as those victims, because his heart could not take it, and a breakdown is the least he needs right now. It is the least Kevin needs right now.

He stopped at a red light, but he could not stop his trembling mind. He felt almost flooded by the emotions, he felt uncontrollable to the emotions that is drowning him like the waves.


Raymond force his mind back to the reality, leaving those dark thoughts behind. He looked at Cheddar, who was sadly looking him from the side passengers seat, then he looked at his wedding ring. The simple golden wedding ring that they chose together, it has never been brought down ever since their wedding day.

He turned the ring with his fingers, he knows Kevin's initials are inside of the ring, his fingers can feel it. The KMC, the love of his life.

The traffic light is turning green, the car is moving.

'Kevin, I will find you. Please... ' He thought while he depressed the pedal.

'Please wait for me.'

Chapter Text

When Kevin woke up, the first thought came into his mind was pain. His head and neck had such dull throbbing pain, it reminds him of one time in his childhood when he accidentally falls from a tree. He doesn't remember why he climb the tree in the first place, but because he doesn't experienced pain that often, so he remembers it every single time. And he was certain he would remember this time as well, if he ever lived.

He looked around and all he could see was dark, its reminding him how he came to this situation. The ground underneath him was cold and hard, like a concrete ground, he tries to move his body only to find out that his hands are tied together as well as his feet, make him feel like the mummy from ancient Egypt.

'Click' A click pops into the air with some footsteps, suddenly there is a beam of light shoots towards him. He kept blinking to adapt the source of light but there are tears surrounds his eyes due to sudden sharp light. When he tries to focus his sight, he saw two men are standing on top of him.

"Good morning, Professor. " A man with deep voice, he recognized the voice from the park, had dragged him up like dragging a dead animal, and then he throws him against a wall with such great force, Kevin thought he was going to crash through it.

Kevin gritted his teeth through the aching pain to avoid having to moan, he does not want the criminals to witness his weakness, thought he felt as if he will not have a choice soon.

"... What do you want? " The criminals must want something from him to threaten Raymond, they make it clear in the park that he was just a tool for them to get to Raymond. Kevin hated himself for that. He hated himself for being a weakness to Raymond, like Achilles's heels to Achilles. Raymond is the most courageous man he ever knows, he is brave, never hide from confrontation and always ready to fight. Yet he had become such easy target himself, that the bad guys can just use him to against Raymond.

No one knows but throughout the 8 years of Raymond's PR career, he was secretly having relieve over it. It is not that he doesn't want Raymond to have his dream job or desired career, but he could not deny the peace of mind that he felt whenever he knows that Raymond will come home in a piece every day in those 8 years. That he does not have to worry over his safety anymore, unlike back in the day when he was a detective, back when he was worried, anxious every single day. Every morning when they greet each other with a productive day ahead, he also secretly praying that Raymond had a safety day ahead.

'I hope you have a productive day today, Raymond. ' And Please Be Safe. He always added that piece himself, in his mind, with his heart.

Unfortunately, the prayer was not listened every time, Raymond had endured a lot of injuries throughout his career as a detective. However, he survived through those, he is also the toughest man that Kevin ever knows. Raymond will not bat an eye even if he got stabbed, while Kevin might have tears in his eyes over a cut in the kitchen.

"What do I want? Right now, I'm thinking how to tell your husband that I have you with me. " The man grabbed a chair and sitting in front of him, and he was playing a knife in his hands, he pointed the knife at him while speaking.

"You are a smart guy, aren't ya Professor? Any suggestion? " He continues to taunt him, with an evil grin on his face.

Kevin tries to stay calm, he could not be panic, there are sweats dripping from his head, but he could not let these criminals knows that they got him. He swallowed hard and thinks rapidly, tries to think of a way, even if it seems impossible, to escape from this.

"I say just take his ring. Send it to the cop husband, can you imagine the look on his face? " Another voice chimed in, there was another guy who was holding the light and stand behind the man.

"Good idea. Just by thinking it makes me thrilled. That fucking cop. " The man agrees with his partner swiftly.

Kevin's eyes widen at the conversation. No, not his wedding ring. It is the one significant item that symbolizes their love throughout the hardships, it is not just a symbol of love, but also their sacrifices, their journey, their hope and their determination. Everything, everything they had gone through ever since they'd been together.

The man was coming closer to him and tries to take away his ring. Kevin is a smart man; he knows in this moment he best relent and not try to fight back. But if he was not even try to fight back, even a little for this, he will despise himself forever.

"No... " He tries to move away his hands from the man, with his both hands tied his actions has not been a success.

"If you move again, I will cut off your finger rather than just take away the ring, old man. " The man lose patience very quick and kicked him at the ribs while threatening him. The sharp pain from his ribs had him seeing stars for a while, and by the time the man already took his ring.

"There it is. " The man was reading the ring, the initials.

"Hah even got that cop's name here. How about we smeared it with some blood? Not enough thrilling if we only send the ring right? " That evil voice continues, Kevin already had tears in his eyes and he is trying very hard not to cry. But it was so painful, he never had this in his entire life and it was unadaptable, not at this moment.

The next thing he knows there's a stabbing pain came from his right arm, he couldn't help but yelp a little at the sudden pain.

"Nice, now we can ship this thing out. " The man smeared the ring with his blood, while Kevin was using all his effort to endure the pain from his head, his body and his arm, his minds wants to say something but he could not voice a single thing.

Before they walk away, the guy that holding a light came forward, grabbed him by his collar and smashed him against the wall again. And this time he blacked out.

'These hurts so bad... ' This is his last thought before his mind went completely dark.


There were a tension surrounds the 99 today. Ever since their captain stormed out and came back in a terrible expression that they never saw before, the precinct had been in a tense mood. No one jokes around anymore, even Cheddar just lied down on the floor looking upset. Everyone is checking every clue they have, which is not much, and going through Captain Raymond Holt's past record is just too much of a work that could not have done within a couple hours.

"Maybe focus on those who just got out from the jail. They are the most likely want to get revenge to Captain Holt. " Amy suggested, which seems like a good start.

"And also, those whose family are recent caught, especially those that got jail time. It might not be the criminal themselves but their family. " Jake chimed in, he looks very serious and unlike the usual goofy self.

Terry divides the records based on years and each of them take about 5 years' worth of record to go through, where Scully and Hitchcock will focus on older paper document which they were more familiar with. Raymond Holt had over 30 years in the force and there are tons of criminals fallen on his hand, it is not an easy task.

"I know now is not the time but oh my god captain had so many cases! And so many arrest! " Charles looked at the pile of documents feeling weak.

"No time to complain, chop chop and get into it already. " Rosa already quickly flipping through the records and search the name in the computer. Although in recent years most of the cases are digitized but most of the cases that Raymond Holt had his hands on are from the 80s and 90s where almost all of them are not digitized yet. Part of it might be a thanks to the slow progress of Hitchcock and Scully.

"Is Captain Holt okay? " Scully looked at the firmly closed captain's door worriedly.

"I don't think so, he didn't even come out after he briefly told us what happened. " Terry was stressed out, he even stop refer to himself as third person.

"Guys, let Captain Holt do what he wants, we will have his back. Let's focus and solve this, bring Kevin back! " Jake clapped his hand and started on his pile.

Inside the captain's office, Raymond was staring into blank behind his desk. In front of him is a piece of paper, he is writing down the name of the criminals that he thought was most possible to do this, start with those that having records of kidnapping.

He only got through the third name and his mind went off like a stallion. Writing down those name takes him back to the cases, and how those criminals treat their victim, it makes Raymond sick by just picturing Kevin in those.

He takes a deep breath and rubs his face with his hand, then he forces himself to keep thinking, keep writing. Most of the kidnap have a golden 48 hours, if he can solve this within the time, there are high chance that he can have Kevin back. There is no time to waste.

While he is writing down the fourth name, someone had knocked his door. It is Santiago, and she knows better than disturb him now if not for very important things. And by that he means the squad out there probably got a clue.

"Come in, Santiago. " Amy poked her face behind the door, and her expression is not happy. No, the squad probably got nothing. Then why she knocked on his door?

Tension builds between them even before Amy talks, but she said: "Captain, the precinct receive something. You need to look at this. "

Maybe it's the kidnapper, sending his/her message. Raymond stands quickly and follows Amy out to the bullpen. The rest of the squad had their eyes on him when he picked up an envelope from Terry's desk.

It is a common brown envelope that used everywhere, especially in post office. But this one does not have stamp, meaning they are sent in person.

"Who send this? " Raymond hold on to the envelope, it only writes RAYMOND HOLT on it, no address, nothing else.

"Officer Bailey said he found this in front of the precinct door when he was going out. " Terry replied, he had almost interrogated that police officer, but he got nothing.

Raymond looked at the envelope, hands shaking a little. He so wants to know what is inside but also so don't want to know what is inside. It torn inside him. A few seconds later he swallowed hard and open the envelope in a swift with a pocketknife.

Inside there was a piece of paper. It only had one sentence, it says: 'DO YOU REMEMBER US? ' in crimson red. Just by looking at it Raymond knows immediately it was blood. Whose blood is the real question here. He dares not to think but the logical part of his brain already sickens him to the core.

"Is it... blood? " Jake whispered very low to Amy while Amy nodded, deeply troubled by the fact that the blood that is used as ink could very much possibly be Kevin's blood.

After the initial shock, the squad decides to turn their focus elsewhere. Raymond looked at the handwriting, he tries to ignore the red colour which almost shines in front of him.

"This is two man's job. " The kidnappers use a plural term to represent them, they are a team.

"The kidnapper had more than 1 people? " Charles noticed the plural term as well.

"That narrows down the suspect a lot. We can even compare the handwriting! Captain, may I? " Amy wanted Raymond to pass her the paper, he relent and the next thing he does is turn the envelope around to observe the handwriting that writes his name, whether it is the same as the paper or not.

It is that moment when he turns the envelope, he noticed something at the corner. There are more inside the envelope, it feels like an object, a round object.

It feels like a ring.

The realization hit him like a truck, he could not breath for a few seconds there. Terry noticed his face changes: "Captain, do you notice something else? "

Raymond's hand is shaking, his body was trembling a little, he had never been so afraid in his life before. He can face any challenge, any criminals in the world but he could not bear to think that Kevin was the one that facing them, he did not dare to think what had happened to his Kevin.

"There's... something else in this. " He turned the envelope upside down slowly, and the object falls on his hand.

It is a ring.

It is the ring that Raymond will not recognized wrong, he knows the shape, the looks, how it shines under the light and what had written inside. But the ring looks different, it is not shining gold like it used to be, instead it was smeared, almost coated with crimson red and looks dimmed by that.

Kevin's blood. On Kevin's ring.

The truth is like a hard-swallowed pill, he will not mistake this. This... This was Kevin's ring, with his blood on it.

Raymond brings the ring closer, and he caress the ring until his hand are full of red, he cleans the inner side so he can see his initials on it. RJH.

He almost burst to tears the moment he saw the initials. All the worries, anxious, distress are too much emotion for him and he never knows how to deal with those positively. He keeps his tears in his eyes, but the rest of the squad still can see it.

"It was Kevin's... ring. " He blinked a few times, take deep breaths a few times to try to calm himself.

"Captain... we will find him. " Jake came up and gave a light hug to him.

Raymond looked at the ring again, and although he knows that this should be bagged in as an evidence, he wants to have it a little longer. The ring is cold, the red on it is also cold, just like how he feels right now.

"Yes, we will find him. " He nodded and the rest of the squad started their investigation.

Raymond closed his eyes in the middle of bullpen, he did not corrected Jake. That it was a rookie mistake, to promise something in front of... victim's family. A rookie mistake that he himself was willing to have right now.

He will find his husband and bring him home, safe and sound. He will not have other possibilities.

Raymond brings his fist to his side, with his left hand still holding the ring, he can feel his own ring touching it. And he feels determined.

"Squad, I have a few names on my mind. "

There isn't a lot of team kidnapper, he can find them last time, he can find them this time.

And until then... Please be safe, Kevin.

He thinks that piece himself, in his mind, with his heart.

Chapter Text

"I got a result! Captain!" Charles yelled excitedly, the rest of the squad gathered around him immediately, Raymond was the first that stormed to his side.

"This guy, he is the sixth name on the list. Harry Miller. " Charles turned his monitor and quickly clicking to show the criminal history.

"He's not caught because of kidnapping, he is a drug ring member that got kicked out. At the same time there are another member from the same drug ring, Owen Galler. Both of them just release from jail last week. " On his computer screen there are two man's mugshot and their history.

"What is their beef with the captain? " Jake pressed his hand against the table and leaned forward.

"After they got kicked out, they planned to start their own drug business and got busted by the captain. According to the report, there was an intel involve so the operation was a success. " Raymond looked at the two-man photo. They are not on his top list, but he did remember these two.

These two are not what they called 'bright' criminals, the case was actually fairly simple. They received the intel at one point, saying that a new drug ring is forming. So he and a few officers follow the lead and busted Miller and Galler from their warehouse. They have been sentenced for 10 years each, it is not a special case so he did not put them on top of the priority list. Apparently he was wrong, they are determined to get revenge on him to make them stay in jail for the past 10 years.

"They are looking to avenge me because I put them behind the bars? " Raymond rubbed his eyebrow, he did not think a normal case that happens so many years ago could endangered Kevin right now. How many underlying dangers are out there? Countless.

"Probably, yeah. And the handwriting matched with Owen Galler. "

"Okay so we got the suspect, what's next? "

"I got them in their own warehouse 10 years ago, check the address. They probably were using that warehouse again! " Raymond snapped his fingers as if he cracked the case, well mostly since he was fairly certain the perps were in their own warehouse again.

A couple minutes later, an address was out.

"Squad, get ready. " Raymond put up his gear and stormed out of the precinct immediately.

'Kevin, I'm coming. '


The team was quickly gathered in front of a private warehouse near the Saratoga Spring, the officers are checking the perimeter while the squad are ready to bust in. With the counting of one, two, three and the large noise made by busting the door, they are in.

"Clear! " Raymond charged in front and busted into the main room, no one is on his sight. This is where he busted the duo ten years ago, he was hoping they will be at the same place again. However his hope was soon crushed by the clearing shout from all over the place.

This warehouse is old, damp and most importantly, empty. The perps are not here, Kevin is not here. No one is here. He predicted it wrong.

In the midst of frustration, Raymond swings his fist into the cardboard wall and made a hole out of it. The sound of the breaking wall had somehow calm him down a little. He turns around and found that his squad are just behind him, looking at him worriedly.

"Captain... We will find Kevin. " Jake takes one steps ahead and promised. He is using a face, that Raymond had never seen before, the usual goofy personality seems disappeared and instead, Jake is now showing that he is serious, and empathy.

Raymond takes a deep breath and watch over his squad, he now has a squad that he can count on, he doesn't have to do this alone. Jake is right, they will find Kevin, he WILL find Kevin and bring him home, safe and sound.

He nodded and gave the order of going back to precinct. They had to start from zero, again.


Kevin woke up to a bucket of ice-cold water, the water just dumped on him intend to wake him up. He snaps his eyes open and for a second he thought he was at home, that all of these are just a really bad dream. When he saw his surroundings, he knows it is not. It is not a dream, the pain that he felt, the out of breath that he felt right now, is a cruel sensation that telling him everything was real.

"Wake up, professor. It seems like your husband remember us. " The guy with the knife sits on the chair, with almost the same position as before says.

"... He's... here? " No way, no way these criminals are so relax if Raymond was here. Raymond terrifies criminals, he is the kind of police that brings fear into his target, there is no way... unless... They got Raymond... For a moment Kevin thought his heart was going to jump out due to fear, the fear of Raymond was falling on their hands caged him, that he panics with a thousand thoughts spiral in his mind.

No, that is impossible. These criminals are average, at best. There is no way they could get Raymond, the fact that they had to get him in order to threaten Raymond is already a failure. Raymond is observant, smart and tough, there is no way he will falls under these people's hands.

Kevin breath heavily and tries to calm himself down. He should not be panic at this situation, this will certainly do him no good. He needs to remain calm and wait for Raymond to come. Raymond will come to find him, he was so sure of that.

"Nah, the cop is stupid to rely on old intel. Hah, he thought he could get us at the same place again? " The man on the chair mocked in a voice that was somehow insufferable to Kevin. He's having anger lingering in his heart and he wants to talk back, except his rational mind told him not to. No one can talk down to Raymond like that, not in front of him, not even his colleagues and certainly not these criminals. But this is not the time for that, he had to keep it down.

"You know, professor. Thanks to your husband, we were in prison. " The other man who is standing started talking, and he continues: "And we learn some trick from there, how about you try a few of them? Hmm? You certainly didn't been to prison before, how about let us... taught you something? "

The voice enters his mind like devil's whisper, Kevin knows they won't let this go easily. They have to show Raymond what they can do to him, so that Raymond will relent to any rules they make. He only hopes that he can get through it. He never, ever wants to be the source of sadness for Raymond, he wants him happy, and he will do anything to achieve that.

Before he could think of anything else, he felt that he's been dragged up and the sharp pain strike him like a lightning and soon he found himself weren't able to think anymore.


'Bzzz' Raymond's phone has been buzzing, but he did not bother to check that as he is now run through every single detail about Harry Miller and Owen Galler. It is at one point Rosa just took his phone and check the lock screen.

"Captain. " Rosa show him his own phone with a frown, he's been a tad frustrated that his workflow has been cut off, but the moment he lifted his head and saw the message sender, his eyes widen.

It was a message, from Kevin. Raymond's heart dropped a few beats, maybe... maybe Kevin got himself out and was informing him.

As soon as he unlocks the screen and read the full message, his hope vanished. It is a message from Kevin's phone, but not crafted by him. The message is short and simple, it reads: 'Prepare the file, further instructions will by the phone at 8pm. ' Raymond grabs his phone so hard until his knuckles turn white, but this is not all. The next message came in a few moments later, this time it is a warning: 'Do not try to track us, or you will never see your husband again. ' The message comes with an image, Raymond looked at that image, and he felt his heart shattered into a million pieces.

It was his Kevin, on the picture. He looks... awful, his face was bruised, there's blood on his forehead, his arm is bleeding and his leg was twisted in a weird way, likely broken. Raymond felt hard to breath to even look at those wounds, but his heart almost stops when he looks at Kevin's eyes. The pale blue eyes that normally calm as an ocean is showing nothing but fear now, the blues are shining, likely from his tears. Those bastards make him cry.

The scene in the image is almost unbearable for Raymond, that he closes his eyes and put a hand on the table to hold him, else he will collapse on the floor. He took a deep breath again and run his hands through his face, wiped a few tears along with it. And he took one last look at the message before he locked his phone and marched outside to the bullpen to tell the others the news.

Chapter Text

"So... are we going to track when the phone came? " Charles nervously pointed out the obvious.

"No! " "Yes! " A different opinion voiced by Raymond and Jake, made the already intense situation even more so.

"What? " Raymond turn his head to Jake, his glance is sharp as an arrow it pierced through Jake: "Did you not read what they said?! " Jake swallows and he know he had to explain this in a way that makes perfect sense, else the captain will kill him because he just voiced an opinion that could endangered Kevin's life, which is the most important things to Captain Raymond Holt in the world.

The captain is even frantic from his voice, they all could hear it and despite they never hear such things in their captain's voice over the course of seven years they have known him, they are not surprised. Well it is understandable that he is out of his usual character, who wouldn't be?

"Captain, calm down. I mean, there is no way we could have known where they are, right? Brooklyn is big by itself not to mention there are also possibilities that they were not in Brooklyn right now. " Jake started his rambling try to make his intentions clear to the captain.

"I fully understand what the messages are. But this is our only chance, to locate their location. Captain, they demand of the case file, they must be wanting to find out who the intel is, they don't even promise that once we gave them the file they will let Kevin go. Captain, their intentions of this are no good, and we could not let that happen. We HAVE to find out where they are and busted Kevin out of there. They will not give him up. " The bullpen are silence other than Jake's speech, he can see the captain understands his point.

"But if they knew... " Raymond couldn't even bring himself to finish that sentence. If they knew they were tracking, what they will do the Kevin is unfathomable. His mind gets into dark places quick. What was his last word to Kevin? Right... It is this morning, when they wished each other a productive day ahead. Why was it so innocence? He couldn't let his last word to Kevin was something this benign, he couldn't let Kevin's last memory of him was a simple greeting. Kevin deserves more, much, much more.

"Captain, they won't know. Remember Savant? That genius hacker? He will help us set these up. We will get their location and then we can bring Kevin home. Alright? " Jake reassures Raymond by bringing up their best tech people. Right, that kid had some talent, this could possibly pull it off.

"Right now we have to go through a script of how we handle the call, alright? We have to made them talked long enough in order to trace, okay? This is the plan. Everyone's in? " Jake looked around and see those familiar faces filled with determination, this squad is in their best, they are going to save Kevin out of these, no objections allowed.

Raymond took a deep breath and nodded heavily. Then he turned to his office while calling Amy and Jake so that they can go through their script. Raymond shuts his door with a larger force that he used to, but right now he couldn't care less.

They had a phone to expect, there is work to be done. Despite the warnings, he had to trace that phone call, he will not give up any details that could lead him to Kevin. He only hopes that he is on time, that he won't be too late.


"Okay, so all you guys have to do is let them talk at least 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes I can get what we need, are we clear? " Savant stayed by the computer wired to the phone and make sure everyone is clear on their part. Well, technically only Raymond will be the one who talks, the others will just remain silent.

"They will never know this phone is wired, I'm good at what I do. " Raymond's face must show the worried pretty obvious because right now even Savant could tell that he is worried.

"Okay, thank you. " Raymond puts his hands into steeple, he was trying to stop his hand from minor shaking but to no avail, he had never been this nervous before. Not even his Sergeant or Lieutenant test, in fact, nothing in the world could top this. One move wrong, he could lose the most important person to him of all the world. He could not afford any mistakes on this one, he had to get it right, the first time. Life had no redo after all.

At exact 8pm, the phone ringed.

"Hello, this is Captain Raymond Holt. I can come to the phone right now. " Raymond answered the phone, put them on speaker and held his breath for the response.

"Hello Holt, it is a shame we have to talk to each other at this situation. Thanks to you, my last ten years has been nothing but... interesting. " The voice came smug, he knows this voice before, it was Harry Miller.

"What do you want? " Raymond had no mood to greet to the perps that abducted his husband, but he knows the drills, keep the conversation going.

"I thought I said it pretty clear in the message? We want the case file, cop. Are you not paying attention or what? " The voice becomes angry, Raymond had to keep him cool or else they could just cut off.

"I understand that part of your demand. " Raymond looked around and saw everyone's face are tensed, and they are doing their best to keep silent, as they should do.

"Good. Now to the business. Drop the case file in Griffin Park, a dumpster near South exit. Come ALONE. I don't want any of your cop following you, got it? " The voice was back to smugness, with some emphasis on the word ALONE.

"Where is my husband? I will not do any of these until I know my husband is safe. " They could not keep relent, he had to make a negotiation.

"... Looks like the old man didn't understand the situation now. We got the UPPER HAND, how it is you that making demands? We... " The voice got cut off by some other voice, there is another man, voice deeper, this must be another guy Owen Galler.

"Alright, buddy here thought we should play it fair. I will let your little professor talk, he will know what not to say, aren't you? Professor? " Then it sounds like the phone shifted into someplace else. Raymond clenched his fist and looked at Savant, Savant gave him a thumbs up showing everything is going okay now.

"... This is Kevin Cozner. " It was Kevin! Raymond nearly could not control his tears, God knows how much he want to see his husband right now. Kevin's voice sounds weak and he is not using his title, probably not wanting to anger the perps.

"Kevin! Are you okay?! We... We will get you out of there, alright? I'm... I'm so sorry for all of these... " Raymond almost whimpered at his last sentence, guilt had swallowed him like a monster. How could he not blame himself? From the moment he and Kevin becomes serious, he is always afraid that these will come true. So he taught Kevin self-defense, so he was careful not to reveal anything private in the workplace, but these are all not enough to protect Kevin, there will never be enough. Raymond realized. As long as he is on this job, there are countless danger for Kevin, that he could at best try but never fully shielded him away from.

"Raymond, It is alright. " He pauses a while then he continues: "Raymond, I trusted you. " There is some strange doop doop sound coming from his end, it is like he is dialing something from the phone. And he pauses again.

"Raymond, I love you. " Before Kevin could continue and Raymond wanted to say it back, there's a loud voice cut off both of them.

"Hey this fucking little bitch is sending something! " There comes some beating sound and Kevin's sudden yelps was all telling Raymond what happened over there.

"I knew he was up to something! " And then there is more, Raymond could not bear to listen to Kevin's yelps anymore longer.

"Don't hurt him! I will do anything you want, okay? Anything you want! Just... don't hurt him! " It was heartbreaking for Raymond to listen to Kevin being beaten up, how dare they lay a finger on him?! How dare them?!

"You know what we want. Goodbye. " The phone was being cut off when they still can hear the beaten up in the background, then the line goes dead.

"Damn It! " Raymond tossed the phone on his table, hard, and cover his face with his hands. He could not hold this wave of emotion anymore, hearing Kevin's yelps in the phone was single handedly the worst thing he heard in his life. His tears were rolling down his cheeks and as much as he doesn't want to, it wasn't up to his control anymore.

The squad was silent for a while, and they are crying. It is hard for them to hear that on Kevin, too. Jake, Charles, Terry and Amy were silently crying, Rosa was having tears in her eyes as well as Scully and Hitchcock.

"I got something. " In the midst of silent, Savant's voice sounds a little weak. He does not want to interrupt the moment, however he has to.

The squad as well as Raymond popped up from their emotion, and try their best to adjust to listen to Savant.

"I got the vague location because apparently they have some device that disturb the signals. I can confirm that they are at this area. " Savant pulled up a map on his computer, and guide it to a remote place just outside of Brooklyn.

"Even the area is not big, it will still take some time to scout one by one. Can't we be more precise? " Terry looked at the map and demanded.

"No, this is the most precise I can get, their signal disturbance device is powerful, if not for me, you guys wouldn't even get this location. " Savant shrugged.

"There are like thousands of warehouses here! How do we scout without alarming them?! " Charles say in a voice of desperation.

This leads to a dead end. There couldn't be possible that they scout without alarming the perps, but if they don't scout, there is no guarantee that the perps will let Kevin go even they got the case files. It seems they are in no position to solve this. Raymond kept thinking and rewind his mind back to the phone call just now, and then all of a sudden...

"Pulled up the phone call record! They are saying Kevin is sending something! " Raymond yelled suddenly, which startles the squad but Jake was getting what he says.

"Bingpot! It must be some sort of code, that sound he makes was when he dialed something in the middle of a call! " Jake shouted excitedly. They quickly pulled up the phone call record and hear it all over again.

"It was a Morse Code, Scully! You are up! " Amy pulled Scully into the front of the table, Scully hear the sounds carefully then he made that code out: "It says 1283. "

Savant looked at the map: "1283 is a street number, but there are at least 20 warehouses on this street, from number 321 to 353 how would we know which one is it? "

Raymond was still listening to the recorded phone call, Kevin is smart, he must know that a street number is not enough for them to find him. He must have left something else, think Raymond Holt, THINK.

There is a strange pattern when Kevin talked to him, it was always start with his name, then a three-word sentence, then he pauses a while before he continues. And he is saying his name three times.

"It was warehouse number 333. " Raymond had known Kevin too well to know that he will not speak in such pattern if not for a purpose.

"What? How would you know? " The squad was curious.

"In the phone call, Kevin calls me three times, and he always said a three-word sentence following my name. He does not speak like that for no reason, it must be a hint as well. " Raymond trusted that this is one of Kevin's hints, he will not mistake any strange behaviour coming from his husband.

"Okay, this is reliable. Warehouse 333 located at almost centre on this street. " Savant quickly sent the GPS location to everyone's phone, then his job is done.

"Alright, squad. Get ready. We are going, NOW. " This is the second time today that Raymond gave out this order. There is no turning back, he only hopes that this time he had been right.

He has to be.

Chapter Text

Kevin swears he never felt this miserable in his life, is miserable even the right analogy for this situation? He can't think straight anymore, his brain is now functioning like a mud because he's using up all his remaining strength to endure the pain he is feeling. He tries his best not to moan in front of these criminals, he gritted his teeth so hard that he can feels the blood inside his mouth, not that it matters since he's almost bruised everywhere on his body already.

He remembered the last time he has been beaten up was when he was in middle school, where some bully picked on his brother and he helped. Well not much of a help he is as he never fights in his life, he did take some blows from them and caused about three days of hospital stays. The sensation when the fists hit on him is still there, these criminals weren't joking when they said they learned a few trick in the prison. They throw their fists and kicks on some places that hit him hard but not enough to knock him out, he WISH those will knock him out so he won't have to try so hard to keep quiet about it.

From the pain distribution (how his brain can still think of distribution is beyond him, forgive him for not having a better analogy), they were likely broke his right leg because not only his right leg gave sharp pains when he tries to move even a little, it is also twisted in a weird way where Kevin did not know human legs are capable of. And then there is the dull but continuous pain on his chest after the blows hit him, and also his head, his arm, and... well everywhere of them.

Throughout everything, he hopes Raymond got his hints. He is fairly certain he did because not only Raymond is an incredible detective, and also he did it so very obvious to his husband. His change of speech pattern, the dialing sound he makes when he talks, it was unmissable, that even the criminals know what he is trying to do in the second part. He only wishes that they could get here in time before he... well before he could not take it anymore.

"You are a piece of something, aren't you. Little professor? " The guy with the flashlight, he already knows his name is Owen. They talked when they thought he was unconscious earlier when they try to send the message with his phone. Not only these buffoons telling him their name, but they also gave out the address at that time. It was that moment Kevin knows that he needs to give Raymond this message.

"I gotta say, you are much tougher than I anticipated. Did the cop taught you how to tolerate pain? " Harry puts his face at a much closer distance to Kevin's face, among his heavy breaths, he breath out some smokes right on his face, causing Kevin to cough a little bit.

"Ahh... He won't say anything, I tried before. I even broke his leg, I think he didn't know shit about the file. " Of course he did not know about the file. The strict no shop talk rules among him and Raymond was working for years, though he was hesitating before whether it is a good thing to continue since The Wednesday Incident, so he loosens up a little about the rules and they talked more about each other's work life. But there is no way Raymond would mention to him a case that had been closed that many years ago, how these guys will think he knows anything is truly beyond him.

"Still, he tries to send a message to the cop. What are you sending, huh? " There, the interrogation started after the beat-up. Kevin knew there is no way he could escape from this, but there is also no way that he will give out the hint isn't he? He might not be as tough as Raymond, but he will show these guys being a cop's husband for twenty years does not just make him a hostage at times like this, he is not going to just being here and not help.

Kevin keeps his mouth shut and will not reveal anything, it is not that these clowns know Morse Code anyway, he mocked internally.

"Well well well, try'na be tough huh? Let's see how you still can be it after THIS!" Harry, which definitely has anger management issue, charged at him suddenly, pinned him down and another sharp pain comes from his left arm where he could not help but scream a little at it.

"Smooth action. " Owen even whistled a little. These bastards have been untied him ever since they broke his leg because they thought he will not have the strength to fight back or run away after a few 'sessions' of getting beat up.

Kevin's tears had flowing down again, God he hate himself for being able to cry so easily at pain. He was heavy breathing a moment before to endure the pain from his left arm, then he feels his head was light, like he is floating up in the air, which is definitely not good. He can vaguely feel those two were still trying to torture him but he can no longer feel the actual pain other than numbness, it is like his sensation is shutting down.

He knew he was getting the limit, his body could not take it anymore. He really, really hopes Raymond will come soon else he was certain he will die in here.

Among the buoyant feeling that he felt, some memory flashes before his eyes, where he did not know whether his eyes are still open or not. But he recognized those memory. There is the first time he and Raymond met, not the one that over the phone but the one at the bar, over a drink. There is the first time they dated, at the museum, what... what was the name of the Museum again? Then there is the first time they went to Paris, that romantic afternoon sharing a Croque Monsieur. The first time they were living together, the first time they met Cheddar, the first time Raymond come home proudly saying he is a captain from now on...

Then finally, their small, quick wedding. Well not really a wedding but an officiated ceremony. Kevin never tells and he is not sure whether Raymond knows, but deep in his heart he did have a little regret that they did that wedding so efficient. He didn't want a big ceremony of course, but he was hoping maybe a small gathering among their friends, Raymond's family, Martin, and... well of course the 99.

And this time he and Raymond will have their vows in front of everyone they knew and supported them. And he will gladly say 'I do' all over again, he will always say I do to Raymond, he will always... loved him, no matter what.

Kevin feels his eyelids were heavy, and as he is slowly closing them, he thought he finally heard Raymond's voice. The warm, dulcet tone of his husband, but somehow sounds like frantic and freaking out, yelling his name.

And then he falls into the darkness.

"Kevin! "


Raymond was driving the van as fast as he can be, they did not take the police car because of obvious reason, so they opted for Terry's van instead. Everyone inside the van is loaded up and armored up including himself. Normally they will not have such big action over two perps but an involvement of Kevin had made this more complicated, so Raymond called for the whole squad just to be safe, even Scully and Hitchcock are here.

"Okay, there it is. " Raymond stopped the van at warehouse 330, where there is a big tree blocking their van so even though those perps look out they won't see them. Raymond looks at that warehouse, it was quiet surroundings and the only sound he heard is the chirping of the wind. But he is so certain that Kevin was in there, Kevin must be in there. He clenched his fist and feel that he can't wait to bust into that door already. Still, he had to follow plans and gave his orders.

"Scully and Hitchcock, stay right here guarding the van and look out for the exits of the warehouse once we got in. Jeffords and Boyle take sides, Diaz and Santiago takes the back door, Peralta and I will be busted from the front. Everyone clear? " After a quick and concise order, they are out.

I am coming... I am coming Kevin, please be inside here, please be safe. Raymond mumbled to himself inside his mind. On one two three, they busted the door and get in.

Warehouse 333 is a typical one room warehouse, it only has a large and wide empty room which is now... dark. The squad had their flashlights on their shoulder and they separate in different direction to search.

"NYPD! Drop your weapon now! "

"Shit! Cops are here! " Raymond heard a shout from his front and he marched to that direction and use the flashlight to navigate. Then he saw two persons, one with a knife and another one with a flashlight trying to drag somebody on the floor. He soon realized it was Kevin then they are trying to drag. These punks still want to lay a finger on his Kevin?! No, not anymore. They took the love of his life and they will never get their way out of it.

Raymond charged into the one with the knife first, dropped his weapon by punched him with several good blow on his face. The others soon heard the fighting sound and coming towards him, he can see that Jeffords pinned the other guy down and Diaz kicked away the flashlight so they are the one in the dark now.

"Ahhhh" His perp was on crazy mode all of a sudden, throw himself at him and try to pin him. While Raymond is not as young as he used to be, but his fighting skills are not degrading in any sense. He used his leg to kick the perp on their knees, force them to loose their hands and the second he loose, Raymond turned around and pinned him down. With the help of Peralta, Raymond cuffed that punk pretty easily.

While still heavy breathing from all the actions (and anger), Raymond dashed to the person that they try to drag a few minutes ago. The flashlight was on his face, it was Kevin alright. Raymond let out a huge breath before he found Kevin was unconscious.

"Kevin! Kevin can you hear me?! " Raymond dropped to his knees beside Kevin and held his head a little, there is no respond from Kevin. His eyes are slid shut, he had bruises on his face, bloods on his head, arms and legs, his shirt were soaked in dirt and blood. Raymond was almost having a panic attack at the moment, seeing Kevin from the image and hear from him is one thing, seeing the very real tortured Kevin in front of his eyes is another thing, that he never knew he could not take it.

He shakingly put a hand on Kevin's pulse, but his hands were too shake to feel the pulse. He didn't even know if he had pulse or not!

"No... No... Kevin... " He whimpered his name and try to perform a CPR before Amy dropped besides him and put her hands on Kevin's neck and heart.

"Captain! Captain! Kevin is having heartbeat and pulses! He is still alive! " Amy stopped Raymond before he could perform a meaningless CPR, instead she calmed her captain down first. In the meantime Charles had already called the ambulance.

"Captain! Listen to me! Look at me! Kevin IS ALIVE! " Amy had to shout to get Raymond's attention, because he was in too deep into his sensation of all these. Seeing his very own husband all bloody and wounded in front of his eyes was too much emotionally, he breaks down the second he saw him.

How could he let such things happened?! How could he?! To call himself a police officer? To serve and protect? When he could not even protect his own husband?! How useless of him, how stupid of him, to think that if he handles everything well Kevin shall be safe. There is never a safe place in here, not if he is still on this job.

However he knows himself too much to know that he will not let this job go, and for that moment he hated himself for that. Why he has to be so stubborn and would not let go? Why he will not just stay in PR forever? And now he could very much lose Kevin to all these, for what? The commissioner job that he didn't even get at last? All these sacrifices, all the work up until this point, he kept saying that it defines him as a man...

But he knows, deep down in his heart. Without Kevin, he will not have any joy even if he had what he wants in his career. Kevin is his other half, his light in the tunnel, his... life.

The broke down continues for a few minutes before the sensation comes back and he heard what Amy said.

Kevin Is... Alive?

And he heard the ambulance sound keep getting nearer, someone... someone had called the ambulance. That's just a fact registered in his brain. A few seconds more looking at his husband, and hearing Amy and Jake shouts beside him. It hit him.

Kevin IS ALIVE. Santiago had checked on him, he had the vitals. His heartbeat, his pulses are still here.

"Kevin... is still here...? " Raymond use his both hands hold on one of Kevin's hands. His hands feel cold, Kevin's hands always were colder than him, smaller than him, and his hands always have the writer callus. He kept stroking the callus to make himself calm down, normally Kevin will have a light squeeze to hold his hand back, but this time there isn't any squeezing, he just lying there response less.

"Yes! Captain! Kevin is alive, the medics are here so we gonna rush him to the hospital, alright? " Amy reassures him and raise her hands for the medics to notice her, which already arrives after being flagged down by Charles outside of the warehouse.

Raymond saw the medics uniform were picking up Kevin, but he wouldn't want to let his hands go. He felt reluctant to let go of it.

"Captain, you have to let go of Kevin's hands. " Jake gently pulled out his hands, but his eyes kept following Kevin on the stretcher.

"I will... I will follow them. " Raymond shook his head to let himself calm further more, then he follows the medics into the ambulance after he introduce himself as the husband of the patient, so the medics will agree to have him on board.

The squad nodded in agreement: "Be with Kevin, captain. We can handle these two perps from here. " And Raymond had never been at ease to take himself out from a case, he is sure that his squad will handle this case good. Right now, he had a more important stuff to attend to.

In the ambulance, while listening to the ambulance sirens and the red and blue shining on his face, he still focuses on Kevin's hands. He is holding one of them again after the medics hooked Kevin up with some medical device. He does not know what to think, looking at Kevin's unconscious bruised face, he only hoped that he is in fact not too late. That Kevin will be alright. He will never, ever let that hands go again. He swears to himself.

"Kevin... Please... " He whimpered lowly, which was almost inaudible in the loud sirens of the ambulance.

"Don't leave me. "

Chapter Text

It's been couple of hours... Raymond thinks, since he watched Kevin been pushed into Emergency Room and he's pacing outside like a maniac. He had some small cuts on his hands when he's in the fight just now, when the nurse was tending them, he kept shaking uncontrollably. He never thought that one day he will be so afraid, so scared of losing someone in his life.

"Mr. Holt, please avoid from water for your cuts. " Few hours ago, the nurse finished her job only found Raymond's eyes has been staring at the Emergency Room door, like he's not even listened to her. She had to wave her hand in front of him to get his attention, even then he's still keep gazing back at the door.

She gave up after a few moments and just tidying her stuff. She looks at the man, who have pinkish hue in his eyes and his hands kept minor shaking, whoever is in that emergency room must be very important to him. She should leave him alone, and hoping whoever that is, please lived and hanging on.

Raymond was sitting at first, then as time passed, he can't keep still, he starts to walk in circle in front of the door, pacing here and there like a frantic maniac. His heart filled with scared, worried but also hope. He kept replay the image of Kevin bleeding, wounding in his mind, it will never disappear from his mind from now on, it is staying in his brain. And if Kevin pulled this through, he will never... never let Kevin out of his sight again. He should keep him in the house, if not he should have a few GPS tags on him, that way he shall always have his location on track, that way he shall never leave him again.

Some crazy thoughts have been on his mind for these couple hours. Then, the rest of the 99 arrived at the hospital.

"Captain! How's Kevin?! " Jake arrived with some panting, apparently he ran across the parking lot all the way to here. The rest of them catching up on him, not so out-of-breath though.

"He's in there for a few hours now. " Raymond nodded to the squad as greetings before he responds.

"Oh okay... Captain, Kevin will be alright. He is tough! " Jake puts up one hand on his shoulder while consoling him.

Raymond looked at the door, then shift his gaze to the luminous light of EMERGENCY while speaking: "Yes, I do hope Kevin will pull this through. After that... I shall keep him in the house. Outside is too dangerous. "

"I will have him wear some GPS tags, I can track them on my phone, right? He won't leave the house if not for necessary things, which should be nothing. I will buy everything for the house, I will walk Cheddar in the park. Also, I should double the security in the house, I think CCTV might be in need. That way... that way Kevin should be safe. " The squad jaws almost dropped to the floor while listening to this unsettling monologue by their captain.

"Woah... Woah... Captain, slow down. " Amy stopped the captain from rambling out his unsettling thoughts.

"Yeah, captain. Don't... do that. Kevin is not Rapunzel! " Another Disney reference from Charles Boyle.

"Who's that? " Who is this Rapunzel that can compare with Kevin?

"She's a princess that got locked up in a tower and one day the prince came and rescue her... Though in your case, I guess you are the prince, that locked up Kevin in the house? No... that's not the point. " Before Raymond frowned and scold him that Kevin is no princess nor he is the prince, Jake stops himself.

"The point is, Captain. Don't do... any of the things you said just now. That sounds like a crime, really. " Terry injected his opinion, which is a public opinion right now.

"But I... I can't let Kevin have these again. " Raymond dropped in a chair, runs his hands through his face. "This time the perps want something from me so they contact. What if the next time... the next time they don't need anything from me? What if next time Cheddar is not there to tell me? Then I will come home to find Kevin missing, without any clue! Then he might... he might... " He vaguely avoided the word. No, he does not want to say it out: "At some place I don't know... Did you know Kevin don't like to be cold? Yet he is so cold, in that warehouse, what if next time he is all alone there? He will be so scared, and cold, AND I WILL NOT BE THERE! " The speed of his monologue is getting faster, in the end he is closer to yelling. He is letting out all his fear, his emotion that he's been suppressed for a whole day.

For all his life he has been a planner. He always knows what to do in the next step, and even the next next step. He makes plans for everything in his life but he is missing out on this one. If he couldn't protect Kevin and Kevin will get hurt, is it better that he leaves?

"Am I being selfish to keep him by my side...? He didn't choose a career that puts safety out of place, he faced that because of me. One day he will realize... I am not worth of him doing that, isn't it? I don't want him to regret it too late. " Then it becomes a self-loathing monologue, which pains the squad for hearing that.

"Captain, look at me. Look at us. " Raymond lift his head, only to find that there are tears in the squad's eyes.

"I know I can't speak for Kevin, Captain. But do you remember, couple years ago when Seamus Murphy got you while me and Kevin chase you guys down to that warehouse? " Of course he remembered, the Safe House incident had been a prick in his heart.

"When we were there, I ask Kevin to leave and let me handle that. You know what Kevin said? " Jake and Amy were holding hands, like giving each other strength, that reminds him the earlier days of him and Kevin. They will not hold hands in the public of course, but they will hold them in their house, that time is still a small, rented apartment. Kevin will hold his hand, squeeze his hand, and when he looks up he will see Kevin soft smile at him. It was... unforgettable, that mesmerizing gentle smile.

But he heard Jake: "No, what did he say? "

Jake does an impression of Kevin, which is raising an eyebrow, and frankly that does not look like Kevin at all.

"No, I am NOT abandoning my husband. I LOVE him. "

Raymond's eyes widen at the sentence. Even though he knows Kevin is there, after all he did drive a car through a wall, but the impact of hearing that no less than watching him throws a throat punch (that he taught him) at Seamus Murphy.

"Captain, Kevin is not one will hide from danger just because of it is dangerous. We know how much he loved you. " Amy chimed in, obviously seeing Raymond was stunned by it.

"And we know how much you loved him. " Raymond was touched by the squad's words. Yes... how can he forget the base of all of these, is love. He loved Kevin, to no end, there is no way he will hurt Kevin. Perhaps the locked-up thing is not the best options he had.

"Maybe Kevin just needs a few more self-defense class, you can teach him, Captain. " Terry tries to give a more sensible option.

"And give him a few weapons, every man and woman should have an axe, for example. " Obviously this is Rosa.

"I think GPS is okay, I mean, I have one on Kelly so she doesn't go missing on me. " Scully gave his probably unwanted opinion and all Hitchcock do is nod.

"No, Scully! And that Kelly is your dog! " "That's true. "

"Maybe just open his location on the phone is enough. " Charles raised one of his fingers and voiced sheepishly.

"Okay, we can talk about all these safety precautions later! Now the point is... " Jake takes a step forward and stands in front of Raymond.

"The point is, talk to Kevin. I'm sure Kevin will tell you how he feels. "

Raymond pursed his lips but eyes filled with determination, and he nodded, like he is making a promise.

A couple more minutes later, the door of Emergency Room had opened. Raymond jumped from his chair and sprinted to the doctors with an unbelievable speed: "Doctor, how was he?! "

The doctor is a little jumpy by him, after he introduce himself as Kevin's husband, the doctor was visibly relaxed. After all, he still has his police uniform on him.

"The patient had a few broken bones on his ribs, as well as his arms and legs. We fixed the open wounds and fractures but they will need time to heal itself. Also, he might experience concussion due to blunt force trauma to his head. We will keep him under ICU and observe him, if no complications he should be able to wake up tomorrow. In the meantime, we will give him some painkillers and some antibiotics. " The doctor report his findings in a very clear and concise way.

"So... Kevin is alright? That he just needs some medication and rest? " Jake reconfirms with the doctor.

The doctor gave him a smile: "Yes, he will be fine and expecting full recovery within three months. "

The squad smile sincerely for the first time today, and they are visibly relaxed too.

"Thank you, doctor. " Raymond said with some shining in his eyes, the doctor nodded at him before he leaves.

Raymond let out a big breath, and he feel his nerves had slowly calm down.

Kevin will be alright. He is alive and he just needs medication and rest and needs care. But he will be fine. He will get to talk to him again, he will get to hold his hands again, he will be able to kiss him all over again. And... he will get to see him smile, again.

And that, is the most important thing to Raymond Holt in the world right now.


When Kevin comes into his senses, for a moment he thought he was gone, all he can see is white, until he focuses his eyes and realized it was a white ceiling. He felt there are dull pain and numbness over his body and there is something on his face. When he gazed down he found that there was something under his nose, the one that used in the hospital to help people breath if he had to guess. So he is in the hospital, and he is breathing. That means he got through it, right?

And while he is observing the ceiling, because for some reason he can't really move, his sensation of his limbs has not yet come back, he remembers the voice that he heard before he falls into darkness. That he heard Raymond's voice... If he was here he must be saved by Raymond, Raymond... ... ... Raymond!

His eyes grew wide and a sudden pain from head had him jolt a little. Raymond! Is he okay? Is he here too? Kevin wants to see Raymond so eagerly, that he ignores the burning sensation he was feeling on his body and tries to move.

"Kevin! " Then he heard that voice again, except this time it's not frantic, it is surprised. And a few seconds later, Raymond shows up in his eyes.

"Kevin! You're awake! How are you feeling? " Raymond is standing over him, and he is holding his hand, he can feel it.

"Ray... " When he tries to speak, only found that his voice is all hoarse and rough, well how long had he not drink water already?

"Please hold on, Kevin. I will have your water ready. " Then Raymond puts a straw in his mouth so he can slow sips the water, while sipping both of their eyes are locking at each other. Raymond seems fine, no wounds no cuts, he must have taken down the criminals efficiently, like he always does.

"Raymond, are you okay? " His voice sounds weak, somehow he doesn't like that about himself.

The single question that had Raymond almost burst out of tears, how could he ask about him after all these happens? But he holds onto it, don't make a drama here Raymond Holt. His eyes were shining though: "I am completely fine. I got them, Kevin. They can no longer hurt you. "

Kevin trusted his husband, if his husband said it was fine, then it was fine, no questions asked. He felt relieved washed over his body and some sensation other than burning pain is coming back. He can feel his arms and legs are being fixed so that he couldn't move, he also can feel bandages on his head and body.

"That is... good. Raymond. " Kevin is happy, that this was finally over. It has been only a day, but Kevin felt like it was a year, times felt extremely slow when you are being tortured.

"Now tell me, how are you feeling? " Raymond sits down beside his bed and kept holding his hand. His hand felt warm and the warm had spread onto him like a wildfire. He squirms his eyes to enjoy the warm from his husband. That warehouse is cold and he do not like coldness, this warm that he felt is amazingly right.

"I feel... some burning pain. Not much, some numbness. " He responds to his husband's questions carefully, knowing fully how fanatic Raymond can be over his injuries.

"How was your head? " When the question raised, only Kevin realized that his heads seem dizzy, a little spinning, perhaps concussion?

"Um... A little pain, dizzy... Seems spinning, am I having concussion? " Raymond knew Kevin will know, he is very smart after all.

"Yes, the doctor said you have concussion and will experienced pain and dizziness for couple of days. "

"And the broken bones? "

"There are present on your ribs, arms and legs. The doctor fixed them but they will need months to recover naturally. " Kevin feel at ease knowing his condition, at least it was nothing that non-recoverable, and he was thankful for that.

Suddenly Raymond squeezed his hands, and Kevin couldn't help but squeezed it back. It was like their little ritual, whenever they are holding hands they will squeeze each other lightly. Sometimes it's for telling something, sometimes its sending signals. This time? They both know they were doing this to send comfort to each other. Raymond took a deep breath, it seems like he was nervous about what happens next. Kevin was curious.

"Kevin, forgive me. I am so, so, sorry that this ever happens to you. " Raymond switched to a voice that Kevin knew he was really serious.

"After Seamus Murphy, I did not learn my lesson and let this happened to you. It was never supposed to be. I should be able to protect you. " Raymond said it gravely, while Kevin can see tears in his husband's eyes. Raymond had a tendency of blaming himself for everything bad happens on them, Oh how remorse he must be feeling. Kevin's heartache for this man, so he must correct him, like every time he does. But he let Raymond finished his monologue first.

"I am... I am really sorry. If... If you wish to leave me after this, I... I will understand. " Well that was certain unexpected from him, it startled Kevin so hard that he jolt a little again.

Kevin was speechless after that monologue, it saddens him that Raymond thinks that he will leave him after these. His Raymond maybe strong and confident on his job, but he seems never possess the same quality when it came to their relationship, especially he knows more after last year the kerfuffle in the university. He never ever will feel Raymond was incompetent to him, underneath him or whatever term Raymond used, and he certainly will never leave him just because an incident like this. If any, this strengthen his heart and he want to be with Raymond more than ever. His Raymond was facing this kind of danger every single day, yet he still challenges them with courage. Kevin never said this out loud but when Raymond comes home that night telling him he got promoted to Captain, Kevin was feeling so proud of him.

"... Kevin? " He must be silent for such a long time, Raymond was staring at his own feet throughout his monologue, and now he sounds like he is whimpering.

Kevin snapped back into reality from all the memories he had with Raymond, good or bad, ups and downs, it is what it is and they have been through all of those for 20 more years, they will go through for a couple more decades and he will never, never let these hands go.

"Raymond, look at me. Listen to me. " He used his 'teaching' voice on him so he knows he is serious and was about to lecture him. Props of being a professor he guess. Raymond looked at him and he can see his tears now, it breaks his heart to see his tears. Raymond is not one to cry easily, yet he must have been cried for him a couple times because of this.

"This. Is an accident. " He senses that Raymond wants to open his mouth and talk back but he lays his 'professor' gaze on him and he shuts his mouth to let him talk.

"It was unexpected and unwanted. Accident happens everyday, Raymond. Do you hold responsible for every accident happens ever? Obviously not, neither did this one. If anyone should be responsible for this, it is that two criminals. You did the right thing, Raymond. You always did. "

"I know you will say if not for your job this will never happens. Well, you are wrong, if not for your job these criminals might still be out there. "Kevin's eyes are shining as well, he can feel his tears brimmed over his eyes: "And please don't forget that you saved me. Raymond. You SAVED me. "

"You are my hero, Raymond. " He can see Raymond is relaxing, his tense shoulder had loosened up a little.

"And please do not say those again. I am not leaving you. I LOVE you. " When Kevin looks into the brown shining eyes, he saw himself in there. And this, is one of the things that Kevin will never gave up for the rest of his life.

Raymond took a deep breath, and he lower his head to lean beside his neck and whispered: "I love you as well. "

Kevin knows he is crying, the fear, the frustration, it has to get out at some point. Kevin did not say anything afterwards, but he patted Raymond's back to offer him more comfort.

Eventually Raymond pulls himself back together and leave his neck, which to be honest, he wants more of that lingering.

"Thank you, Kevin. " In the end all he can say is this. Kevin nodded, and let out his iconic soft smile on him, that mesmerizing, gentle soft smile that he wanted to see.

After this conversation, he can see that Kevin is sleepy, he is still recovering after all. He should let him sleep.

"Please sleep more. You need to recover. " Raymond stroke his cheeks with his hands, Kevin's face is still pale but he knows he will be fine eventually. Kevin nodded, did not make any effort to against this, and slowly closing his pale blue eyes.

Before he dozed off, he can feel Raymond lay a kiss on his lips lovingly, and whispers to him.

"Sleep tight, dear. I will be here. "

Kevin believes that. He believes that the next time he opens his eyes again, he will see this man, this man who is his brave, caring, smart, wonderful husband.

This man that will always be there for him.

Chapter Text

It takes approximately three months for Kevin to be discharged from hospital, not that the doctor instructed three months, in fact he can discharge and just recover at home after about 1 month of recovery time. However Raymond had a very strong feelings about it and ask Kevin stay in hospital until he fully recover. Kevin knows he would worry sick if he left him alone in the house, especially when his cannot move freely because he still recover from those broken bones, so he relent and let Raymond have this one.

Raymond even went and learn physical therapy from the therapist so that he can help even after Kevin was back home. This is the first time in years, that Kevin saw Raymond every day at precisely 7pm because he no longer works late in his job, even sometimes he will show up at lunch time. Kevin never knows that his husband can be so clingy, though it is not that he does not understand, as a matter of fact he quite enjoys these clingy from his husband. He never was a fan of him working late anyway.

The people from 99 had visited him quite often as well, almost twice or three times a week, mostly on Friday or weekends. They will show up in pack like some Gazelle but their kindness and caring makes Kevin feel happy, that Raymond finally had some good work relationship in the NYPD, that even he is able to share it. The frequency is so much so that it was almost like a fixed schedule that they gathered at their house every Friday, having dinner and have some entertainment afterwards. There are sometimes 'Game Night' or 'Movie Night', either way Kevin had forced to play more games and watch more movies than he ever expected for this period of time.

"Urggh This is not fair! How are you guys so good at this?! " He and Raymond had just won another round of Charades and Jake was throwing his hands into the air frustratedly. What an amateur question, isn't Raymond's acting very obvious?

After their explanation to the squad, it seems none of the squad member had understand them anyway. Then Raymond cracked a joke that have Kevin giggled to no end. Oh Raymond always was the funny one in the party.

"Does anyone understand that joke? " Jake whispered to others while watching Kevin almost out-of-breath laughing, and all he got was confused face.

"Dear, you might want to slow down. Here, have some water. " How despicable Raymond is, he knows he is the culprit that he nearly out-of-breath now. Look at that smug smile on his face! But he still took over that glass of water and have it down to his throat slowly, in the meantime he can see Raymond smile to him. That supernova smile can light up a room and his heart.

One point that is worth noting was, after the kidnapping, Raymond seems not to care about showing more PDA in front of the 99 anymore, and frankly Kevin too. Of course nothing too excessive, but they often will hold hands or looking at each other in front of them, maybe sometimes a light kiss when they are particularly in the mood. They are more cherish of each other, which is a good thing to relationship.

After everyone left, it was almost 10pm and nearly their sleeping time. He will walk upstairs slowly with Raymond watching behind him, he can do that on his own already but Raymond still worried that he will be tripping over or falling down. It warms his heart every time at knowing every step that he takes, even something was wrong he have him on his back to support him.

On their bed right before sleep, Raymond will help massage his arms and legs, and this moment is Kevin's favourite of the day, every single day this is his highlight moment, where they are intimate and loving to each other.

"Is this hurt? " Raymond always asked this worriedly.

"No. It is fine. " And Kevin always replies to him this.

After all of these, they will both lied down, both on their back. While Raymond will be on his back because of his sleeping position theory, Kevin was never a fan of those, he always sleep sideway with him facing Raymond because that gave him sense of security. When they were first sleeping together Raymond lectured him about the sleeping position while he say one sentence that had him defeated and never brought it up again.

"It makes me feel secure to be able to see you when I open my eyes in the morning. "

Now with his injury obviously he could not be sleeping sideways for some foreseeable future now, so to make up to him, Raymond will hold his hand while they sleep, to keep that sense of security going on.

Then Raymond will make sure he is tucked in alright one last time, and before he falls into asleep, they will have their exchange words of love.

"I love you, Kevin. " "I love you as well, Raymond. "

And... lights off.