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Parties, Painkillers and Pride

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Tony had just returned to his desk, making himself a cup of coffee. It was too bad he was at work, or he would have added a dash of Belladonna for flavour. 

Danny was flipping the ornate invitation around in his fingers like there might be some extra information he had yet to notice. 

"So, is there a plan for this stag-do?" 

"Yes, my soon-to-be father-in-law insisted."

Tony knew this would be a calculated risk, but Danny was his partner, and it would be expected. However, Wednesday had made a valid point that it would be better for him to freak out there than at the Wedding.

Danny quirked an eyebrow as if to say, was this a joke, "Axe throwing?"

Tony grinned and aimed to be reassuring, "It's quite therapeutic."

It is evident that Danny wasn't convinced, but Tony had to give him credit for responding, "It's original. I think I prefer strippers."

Tony smirked as that was as polite a way of saying you are crazy as he had heard in America however, because he couldn't resist stirring up mischief, "Yeah. No. We don't invite those to family gatherings. There was a whole thing with a cake, and yeah, don't ever mention it." 




They booked out the club venue and used extended family to staff it for the evening. The company had made a few comments about insurance, but Gomez had compensated them handsomely to alleviate any concerns. When Danny was ushered inside the dark-lit venue, he saw his partner front and centre with a dapper older man in a tailored suit that screamed money, but so much money it didn't need a label. Danny soon learned this was Gomez, the father-in-law, and Pugsley, the brother-in-law. Danny may have thought the name was cruel, but the kid didn't mind, so who was he to judge? 

According to gossip around the coffeepot, Danny knew this had been a lightning-quick engagement, but it was evident that the bride-to-be's family didn't have an objection. Danny could also tell that money wasn't an issue, given how the McCallen and Champagne flowed freely. Danny wasn't convinced that you should mix axes and alcohol, but this wasn't his party. 

Tony rushed to Danny's side and embraced him in a friendly hug, "Danny Boy!! You're here!!"

Danny smiled reflexively, given Tony's apparent joy at his presence. He offered praise for a party well done, "This is some party."

Tony and Gomez shared a manic grin that set Danny's detective senses off, but he was sure it was just his imagination. This whiskey must be hitting hard because the last time he was that freaked out from a smile, a serial killer was sitting on the opposite side of him. 




Tony left Danny's side once Danny calmed down about the eclectic guest list. Pugsley soon joined Tony to grab a drink and offered an opinion about Tony's work partner. "He won't handle this. You can't let him come to the Wedding, or he will fall in a grave or something and not for fun!"

Tony clapped Pugsley's back and leaned closer, "I'm aware, but if he becomes a problem, offer him a Pugsley Painkiller. Just keep the Rum to human levels."

Pugsley's conspiratorial grin spoke volumes. "I'm sure it will take him at least 24 hours to recover."

Tony grinned, as it was clear that he and his soon-to-be brother-in-law had an understanding, "That is perfect, as by then I will be on my Honeymoon, and I will tease him about his inability to handle his drinks upon my return."

Pugsley agreed it was a simple plan but wanted to check one fact. "And are you sure about Alaska?" 

"Of course, Wednesday will adore the lack of daylight for 29 days. I have timed this to perfection." Tony replied with the surety of knowing his lover. 

You couldn't argue with his choice as Addams thrived in the dark, and Tony had found a place for their Honeymoon that would let Wednesday ethereally glow. Oh, and plan for some shenanigans with little worry about people interfering. 




The game had been set, axe throwing at a ring. They dropped the usual bodies in deference to Danny's presence. 

Gomez held court to the crowd, "So the axe must hit the centre to progress. We will have a run-off with closest shots if no one manages."

Danny was willing to axe throw, but it was such an odd weapon. He couldn't get to grips with the weight distribution as it was nothing like his 9mm. 

He threw it, but the axe landed on the white part outside the outer circle. He played into the cheers and offered a sheepish, "It's a good job that I don't have to qualify with one of these!"

Tony threw back his head with a full-bellied laugh, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

Danny pouted, pulled out his axe from the board and handed it to his smug partner. "You do better."

Tony casually flipped the axe in his hand to better position it for a throw, like it wasn't terribly sharp. Tony always did seem void of fear. 


Dead Centre.

Tony threw his hands up in the air in a wild celebration as if he had won the Olympics.

It continued, and Danny watched as several relatives willingly stepped forward, and the first round had only four people go through to the next stage. It was Gomez, Pugsley, Tony and an Uncle Fester?!? He did wonder what it was about the names in this family but was smart enough not to voice it with so many axes in play.

Gomez shouted, "Round of shots."

Danny soon realised that the challenge for the contestants was to down a shot between each round of throwing. Danny was fascinated by the bizarre ritual, and when he caught sight of the drink, he asked, "Why is the shooter smoking? Drinks shouldn't do that." 

A Gothic gentleman snorted, realising this must be the human's first time at one of their gatherings. It was okay. It could take people a few visits before they stop being so visibly shocked. "It's an Addams Annihilator shot."

"That sounds alarming." Danny couldn't help but blurt out.

The gentleman snickered and shook his head, but if he aimed for reassuring, he missed his mark. "No, for them, it is like a vitamin shot."

Danny could smell the alcohol from over the other side of the room, so whatever was in it. He hoped he didn't get offered a drink of it.

Round Two was called, and silence once more fell over the crowd. This time the Uncle, who seemed to think this was fancy dress and he should come as Friar Tuck, fell to a narrow miss. 

"Drinks!" Tony called, "And make it a Kamikazee shot."

Pugsley groaned, "No fair!!!"

Danny was guessing there was a story behind that particular drink, given the smirks from both Tony and Gomez. Sure enough, it did the trick as the brother's shoulder slumped in defeat when he narrowly missed the bull. 

So now only two remained. It was quiet in the club, and so much money was passing hands that it was dizzying, or was that the alcohol? 

Gomez grinned when he hit it dead centre. "Beat that, Mijo."

Tony stepped up and closed one eye as if it would help as a sighter. "What if I Robin-Hood it?" 

"Then you will have won," Gomez promised him because achieving such a feat with an axe would be challenging. The weight distribution and the surface area would make it almost impossible. 

Tony looked nonchalant as he went for it, and the cheer erupted. Danny couldn't believe it! The smug git had landed it. 

Gomez clapped in acknowledgement. "And that is why I will let you marry my girl."

Tony bowed in gratitude and declared, "Everyone deserves a Pugsley Painkiller to celebrate."

And that was the end of Danny's night. It was too bad he didn't remember tonight, as he would have never even dreamed of betraying Tony or making the mistake of going after Wednesday.