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Key Dates in Our Lives

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January 14th, 2014
The day Jake won their stupid bet.
And the day Amy decided he wasn’t too bad.

Amy was sitting on her bed, glaring at the blue dress Jake had given her to wear for their date. It had ruffles on the skirt and a bow on the back. Where did he even get this? It looked like something someone would wear to prom. What were they, high schoolers? Well, Jake sure acted like a high schooler. He certainly hadn’t matured since then.

Amy sighed. She was not looking forward to this. She couldn’t believe she lost the stupid bet. The only reason she had agreed to it in the first place was because she was sick and tired of Jake acting like he was the best detective and she wanted to put him in his place. Sure he was a good detective, perhaps one of the best she had ever worked with, but she would never admit it to him. Jake’s ego was already inflated. She was also very competitive and wanted to prove that she was a good detective.

Looking at her watch, she sighed again and got up. Jake was supposed to pick her up in 15 minutes and she wasn’t anywhere close to being ready. Grabbing the dress Amy made her way to the bathroom, wondering what dumb stuff Jake was going to make them do.

Twenty-five minutes later,(he was late, what a surprise) she heard a honk outside and looking out her window, saw Jake with a stupid grin on his face, standing outside of his car and grudgingly, went out to meet him.
“Amy Santiago, date time! Time to date” He yelled to her.
Sticking her head out the door, she responded, “Peralta, this outfit is ridiculous.”
“Chop chop. There’s plenty of embarrassing to do and only a few hours to do it in.” Jake said.
With another sigh she stepped outside. “Happy?”
“Oh, yeah. You look like every girl at every bat mitzvah I ever had a crush on.”
So it wasn’t a prom dress, it was a bat mitzvah dress. Apparently Jake hadn’t matured past the age of 12.
“Let’s see the bow”
Grudgingly she turned around.
“Just like Jenny Gildenhorn. Why do I wish you had braces? Should we get you braces? No, that’s too much. Here I come.”
As Jake came around the car she saw his attire for the night. A suit top and cargo shorts. Real classy. He looked ridiculous.
“Nice shorts”
“Thank you. Believe it or not, they were not very expensive.”
“Do I really have to wear this all night?”
“You know the rules. The date starts now. And ends at midnight. I decide what you wear, what you eat, and where we go. Oh, and there is one more rule.”
He got a little serious and leaned up against his car and said, “No matter what happens, you’re not allowed to fall in love with me.” Amy tried not to laugh. Fall in love with Jake? Yeah that would never happen. Amy pitied any woman who did.
“Won’t be a problem.” She said.
Jake opened the door and gestured inside, “Your chariot awaits milady.”
“Ugh.” And she got into the car.

Jake closed the door, got in other side and started driving. As they drove she could’ve sworn she heard something clanking against the ground.
“Jake what’s that noise?”
“Oh I tied a bunch of soda cans to the back of the car with a sign that says ‘Just lost a bet.’ You know, like just married but embarrassing.”
Midnight would not come soon enough.
“What are we doing on this date anyway?” She asked, looking out the window, trying to figure out where they were.
“Well that I can’t tell you because it’s a surprise. I will tell you that first we’re heading to Shaw’s to celebrate Charles with the squad. But don’t worry, there will be plenty of embarrassing things to do there and plenty more the rest of the night.”
Amy rolled her eyes and said, “Can’t wait.” And they rode the rest of the way in silence.
When they got to the bar, Jake came around and opened the door for her. She followed him inside bracing for the humility that was sure to come once everyone saw her. Jake made a big announcement with a megaphone, and Amy ‘modeled’ her dress for everyone. She asked if she could go to the bathroom and after Jake gave her permission, with the comment that it was the first of three, she made her way out of the room and into the hallway, down to the restrooms.
Amy walked into the restroom and looked in the mirror. She could not get over the outfit. After the date she would burn the dress. That would help her feel better.

After a couple of minutes she made her way back into the main part of the bar and Jake announced that they would be performing the steerage jig from Titanic. She shot him daggers as he grabbed her hand and led her to the middle of the dance floor.
She was a terrible dancer and this would just showcase the fact. Granted Jake wasn’t much help, as he seemed so intent on doing it as horribly as possible.
“Do the spinny.” Jake said as he grabbed both of her hands and started spinning them around in a circle. As they spun, Amy’s stomach started to turn. If she threw up, she prayed it would be on Jake. He deserved it.
“I hate your guts.” Amy said, trying to keep down what was in her stomach.

Amy heard Holt call Jake over and for a brief moment felt relieved that she didn’t have to dance with Jake anymore. That however was short lived when she heard Jake say “Scully? Tag in. Okay keep spinning.”
Amy groaned. Scully came over and she refused to touch him and refused to keep spinning, so she just stood there awkwardly while Scully danced next to her. The night just kept getting worse and worse. Luckily her stomach started to feel better now that she wasn’t spinning, and she hoped Jake wouldn’t make her do it again. After what felt like forever, Jake’s voice came across the room
“Darling, Brief pause, duty calls.”
“Oh thank God.” Amy walked away from Scully and latched her arm around Jake’s and let him lead her out to the car. At this point, she didn’t care what it was they had to do, she was just grateful for a break from the date.

Once they started driving, Jake said, “Okay, Captain wants us to stake out a drop site of a crew that lifts cargo out of Laguardia. I’ll drop you off at your apartment so you can change, and then I can drive us to the drop site.”
“What about you? Don’t you need to change? Or do you plan on taking down bad guys in a suit and shorts combo?”
“Oh it’s fine I brought a change of clothes with me.”
Amy looked at him, confused.
“I keep an extra pair of clothes in my car, okay? It’s no big deal.”
“Whatever. I’m just glad I don’t have to dance with Scully anymore. That was uncomfortable.”
“‘That was uncomfortable’, title of your sex tape.” Jake said.
He was surprisingly really good at that.

A few minutes later, they got to her apartment and she went in to change. It felt so good to get out of that dress. It was hot and she’d been dying all night. She was much more comfortable in her own clothes. Amy looked at her watch. 8:15pm. If she was lucky, the stake out would take a couple of hours and by the time they booked the guys they were after and did the paperwork, it would be after midnight and the stupid date would be over.

She came back out and noticed Jake had already changed. She got into the car and asked, “So where is the drop site?”
“It’s pretty close, only about 10 minutes from here.”
“Great, let’s go.”
They arrived at the drop site and parked a little bit further down the road.
“I’m so happy to be out of that dress.” Amy said, holding up binoculars, surveying the drop site. “It was weirdly hot.”
“Oh yeah it’s probably because it was a cotton and plastic blend. But not to worry, we’re gonna catch these guys and get back to the worst date of your life.”
“No. Nothing will ever be worse than the date I had with my aunt’s dentist. We had gone out to eat and he said ‘You should try some of this.’And when he went to put it in my mouth he started examining my teeth. Then he told me dessert was out of the question.”
Jake laughed
Chuckling, she asked, “What was your worst date ever?”
“I think it's like a 50-way tie. The last lady I went out with burst into tears when I told her I was a Gemini.”
“Wow.” How did Jake find these women?
“Hey, those people left that door open. I bet there’s a better vantage point from the roof.” Jake said.
Amy leaned over to see where he was looking and said, “Mmmm. And I bet it doesn’t smell like old cheese.” Seriously, that was like the first thing she had noticed when she had first got into his car.
“Okay, that’s hurtful.”
“Shall we?”
“Yeah.”
They got out of the car and made their way over to the door and up the stairs to the roof. Jake decided to climb up a platform nearby while Amy grabbed some crates nearby for them to sit on.
“Man, I don't know how Batman does it. It’s super scary up here.”
He’s such a dork. Who would be thinking about Batman at a time like this?
“Hey, will you grab the binoculars? They’re in my stakeout bag.”
Amy walked over to his bag and opened it. “Your stake out bag is 98% nuts.” She said and pulled out a huge bag of nuts.
“I get snacky. Besides, nuts are super healthy. They’re, like, 0% fat.”
“Jake, that's not true at all. It’s actually the opposite.” She said, coming over to sit next to him.
“What? That nut vendor lied to me.”
What a dork. She looked out over the roof. “I think a pigeon just flew out of your car.”
“Yeah, the windows don’t exactly roll up.”
“The car’s a piece of crap. Why do you love it so much?”
Jake sighed. “You really want to know?”
Amy looked at him, gesturing to him to go on.
“I was two days out of the academy, super nervous. Saw this guy run out of a bodega clutching a bunch of cash. So I pursued him on foot, eleven blocks. Finally catch him, cuff him, throw him up against that car. Turned out there was a For Sale sign in the window, and, it being the best day of my life, I bought it. Thus began the debt.”
“Crushing debt.” Having remembered their conversation the day they made the bet.
“Yeah, you do know me.”
“Nut?”
“Only if you throw it.”
“Ready? Ready?” And she tossed a nut into the air.
“Mm-hmm” He caught it in his mouth. “Nice! You ready?”
“Uh-huh.” Jake threw a nut and Amy tried to catch it but was way off.
They both started laughing. She was nowhere close to catching it.
“What are you doing? Trying to catch it in your nose?” Jake asked?
“I got it, I got it, I got it.” She said, determined to get it next time.Jake’s phone started to ring
“It’s Holt. Keep practicing.” Jake got up and walked a little ways off. In the meantime, Amy kept throwing them up in the air and tried to catch them but no luck.
After a minute or so, Jake came back over.
“What did Holt want?”
“Just checking in. How you doing? Any progress?”
“Yep. Watch.” She had an idea. She threw a handful of nuts into the air and was able to catch some of them in her mouth. A huge smile spread across her face, “The key is volume.”
“I see that.” Responded Jake, a slight smile on his face.

They spent the next hour or so throwing nuts at each other, trying to catch them in their mouths. Jake was actually really good at it, even when Amy tried to make it as difficult as possible. She would throw it too far to the left, or throw them really high up but Jake managed to catch all of them. She on the other hand had a really hard time catching them, even when Jake would give her easy ones. Not that it mattered, this was the most fun she had had all night.
They would pause occasionally and look at the drop sight, but there was no movement. Not that Amy minded, this was so much better than what they had been doing at Shaw’s. Plus she didn’t have to wear that stupid dress.
After a while their nut throwing stopped and they fell into a comfortable silence. A few minutes later, Jake asked, “So be honest. If you’d won the bet, were you really gonna destroy my car?”
“No.” As satisfying as that would be, she decided she couldn’t do that to a car. “I was gonna drive it. So I could learn stick.”
“You wouldn’t.” Jake turned to look at her, a look of fear flashed across his face.
“I would. Would’ve been, like, rrrrrr.”
“No. No! Hey, hey! There’s our guys.” Jake grabbed her and they both crouched down. A large truck was backing up to the warehouse they were watching.
“What’s the play here?” Amy asked.
“Just follow my lead. Give me the ring.”Amy took the silly plastic ring off and put it into Jake’s outstretched hand.
“Now give me some nuts. I’m snacky.” Jake said. Amy grabbed the nuts and put a handful in his hand. “Great, let’s go.”
They made their way down the staircase and across the street. Jake gave her a look and pulled out his phone. “Ready?” He mouthed.
Amy gave him a quick nod and watched as Jake walked closer to the guys and gave a spiel about being lost. Amy quickly caught on and played along, playing the annoyed girlfriend. She had to suppress a laugh when Jake threw the fake ring down the street and the guys they were after told her to calm down. Amy and Jake both pulled their guns out and told them to get on the ground. The guys complied and Jake glanced over to Amy and said, “Nice work.”
“Thanks, you too.”
“I’m sad y’all are arresting me, but I’m glad you’re back together.” One of the preps said.
Jake and Amy looked at each other. They were definitely not together.

Luckily for Amy by the time they got the guys back to the precinct and did the booking paperwork it was after midnight.
“Well, looks like it’s past midnight Peralta, which means our date is officially over.” Amy said, a smile forming across her face.
“Yeah, I guess so. I’m kind of bummed that we missed out on stuff though. I had so much more planned.”
“Perhaps another time Peralta. Good night.” Amy responded, and went to leave. She didn’t realize that she implied that there could be another date in the future. She also didn’t realize that Jake watched her leave until she was well out of sight.

 

The next day, when she got into work, Holt came over to her desk. “Detective Santiago, I’d like to see you in my office when you have a moment.”
“Yes sir.”
A few minutes later, Amy walked into his office.
“I just wanted to say, excellent job on the Stake Out last night. I’m glad to see you two still work well together despite that ridiculous bet.”
“Thanks. Me too.” She was relieved. Now that the bet was over she didn’t have to worry about trying to upstage Jake. Though that didn’t mean she wouldn’t keep trying.
“And I appreciate your turning down the relief team. I’m not sure they could’ve made that bust.”
“Yeah. Right. The relief team” That must’ve been Holt called Jake about last night. She was pleasantly surprised Jake turned it down.

She walked back into the bullpen, sat down at her desk, and turned to Jake,
“So.. sorry you lost so much money last night. Guess you can add it to your list of bad dates.”
“Nah, it still goes on the good date list. You know, ‘cause we caught the bad guys”
Right because we caught the bad guys. Not because they actually ended up having a good time. At least she did.
“That’s very mature of you.”
“Well, I am a very mature man.” Yeah, maybe he was. Maybe Amy was wrong about him and he was more mature than a middle schooler.
Amy noticed a delivery guy walk in. “Package for Amy Santiago.”
“That’s me.” She replied. Weird, she wasn’t expecting a package.
“Special delivery from Jake Peralta to say ‘thanks for last night.’
Jake’s head snapped over “Oh no, I forgot to cancel”
“Cancel what?”
The guy turned her chair around to face him and then he started to take off his clothes. Ah so Jake had hired a stripper. Lovely. Amy couldn’t believe something could’ve been more embarrassing than the dance from last night.
“Okay.” Amy said, with annoyance in her voice. Jake came over and stood between her and the stripper as the stripper tried to get close to her.
Well Amy guessed her original assessment was correct. Jake was an immature middle schooler.
Some things will never change.