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That Time I Was Transported to the Magical Boy Anime with My IRL Friends

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Yumoto: Welcome to our first episode of Try Not To Laugh—Battle Lovers versus Caerula Adamas and the VEPPer!

En: Who are the VEPPer?

Yumoto: I don’t know!

Kinshirou: Don’t say this is the first episode—that implies there will be more. There will not be more.

Atsushi: But Kumiko said it might have to be split into two parts, depending on—

Kinshirou: This is the only time we will be recording anything like this, Kinugawa!

Ryuu: So, we’re doing this…gauntlet style?

Ibushi: We’ll flip a coin, and that decides which team gets to go first.

Io: Everyone on the team gets one attempt to make the team in the “hot seat” laugh.

Akoya: Or spit water from their mouths. Absolutely disgusting.

Kinshirou: Which is why we will only be doing this once.

Beppu Twins: We only need to do it once! Because our team will obviously win, and we’ll get Goura!

Yumoto: You will never win!


A coin of Wombat and Dadacha is flipped—with Dadacha landing face up, the Battle Lovers sit in the hot seats, take swigs of water, and wait for their opponents’ attempts.


Round 1

 

Kinshirou walks out from backstage, slowly and with purpose. His hair looks a bit disheveled, but he doesn’t let it get to him.

Yumoto: [spits] Why’s his hair like that?!

Io furrows his brow at his junior. Kinshirou stops walking and stands in front of the five boys.

Kinshirou: I hate that our battle has come to this—that I have to stoop to your level of idiocy.

He reaches up to touch his head, but grabs his hair—and throws it at En.

En: [spits] What the hell?!

Kinshirou is wearing a bald cap.

Atsushi: [laughs, but keeps the water in]

Ryuu: [spits] Damn it! Guys, we have to try harder!

Yumoto: I know! We’re doing this for Big Brother Goura…but look at him!

Kinshirou stares Atsushi dead in the eyes.

Kinshirou: You abandoned me. You betrayed me.

Atsushi: [spits]

Kumiko: Time!

Atsushi: What are you talking about, Kinny?

Kinshirou: Oh, you know.


Round 2

 

Ibushi steps out onto the stage. Unlike Kinshirou, nothing seems to be off about him.

Ibushi: Now, this is something you may not know about me…but I’m able to do impressions accurately. So for my bit, I will be giving my best impressions of you five.

En tilts his head. Ryuu crosses his arms.

Ibushi: [clears throat and in a higher register] I’m going to steal all the snacks from the council room and cuddle Akoya’s hair!

Everyone: [spits]

Yumoto: Come on!

Ibushi: I guess I’ll save the rest for a future episode, then…

Kinshirou: We are never doing this again!


Round 3

 

It’s now Akoya’s turn. He struts onto the stage with the gait of a model. He’s wearing a graduation gown.

Akoya: You may know that I’m a member of Caerula Adamas…but what you don’t know…

He flips his hair.

Akoya: …is that I’m also an angel!

He rips off the gown and is in his normal school uniform—but with a pair of fake angel wings strapped to his back.

Ryuu: [spits] It’s so stupid!

Akoya: You must have mistakenly looked in a mirror, then! I’m Holy Angel Akoya!

The boy twirls around for the rest of his time, not attempting to make any follow-up jokes. No one else laughs.


Round 4

 

For Akihiko’s turn, he walks out in full fencing garb. As soon as he is in front of the five boys, he rips his mask off and reveals…a Dadacha spa mask.

Akihiko: En garde!

Everyone stares in confusion.

Similar to Akoya, the boy doesn’t have anything else planned, and merely stands there for the rest of his time.


Round 5

 

Haruhiko takes a bit longer to get on stage—not entering from backstage, but from the audience.

Yumoto: [spits] A horse?!

Yes—Haruhiko entered the VEPP Theater on horseback.

Haruhiko: Hay.

Atsushi: [spits]

Haruhiko and the horse prance around for a little bit, but no one else spits out their water.


The two teams now swap places—Caerula Adamas and VEPPer earned twelve points out of a possible twenty five. Will the Battle Lovers be more successful?


Round 1

 

Yumoto slowly makes his way onto the stage with Wombat in tow. In his arms are some props—a school bag, a necktie, a headlamp, and a flashlight. He passes them out to his audience.

Yumoto: I’m gonna do a standing back flip!

Some audience members’ eyes widened in fear.

The boy jumps and lands flat on his back.

Yumoto: [screams]

Everyone: [spits]

Yumoto gets up and stands there for a second, before starting to walk off.

Ibushi: Wait, Yumoto. Didn’t that hurt?

The boy shrugs.

Yumoto: Not really.

Akoya: Wait, but why did you hand us these?

The pink-haired boy looks down at Wombat, who is sitting in his lap.

The boy shrugs once more.

Yumoto: Io said misdirection might work? And it did, cause I got all of you!


Round 2

 

En saunters onto the stage, but instead of standing in front of the hot seats in general—he stands right in front of Kinshirou.

Kinshirou scowls.

En: I think we both know how I can get a reaction out of you.

Kinshirou frantically shakes his head.

En leans forward.

En: Hey, President. You smell nice. Fresh out of the bath?

Kinshirou: [spits] Yufuin! How dare you!

Ibushi: [spits] Wait, what’s he talking about?

Akoya: [spits daintily] Is that what happened to you over the summer…?

Ibushi: Wait, you mean what happened before I walked into the clearing?

Kinshirou: I refuse to talk about it!

He turns to one of the cameras.

Kinshirou: Stop recording this! It mustn’t leave this theater!


Round 3

 

Atsushi walks onto the stage, calmly.

Atsushi: Kinny, I just want to say that I have no idea what you were talking about earlier. Was that just for your bit? Or was there really something I—

Kinshirou: [spits] That day!

Atsushi: Huh?

Kinshirou: You decided not to spend time with me, and instead went to get curry with Yufuin! You broke our oath!

Atsushi: Our oath?

Kinshirou: We promised that we would be friends forever, and you tarnished it! You—

The fire alarm rings.

Everyone: [spits]

Ryuu: Oh, sorry. Was that too soon? Did I get the timing wrong?

Io: You may have. But judging by the point total, I believe we won the competition just now by one point.

Ryuu: Damn, I wanted to have a turn!


Yumoto: The Battle Lovers won! Big Brother Goura won’t be taken away!

En: Ah, I can’t believe we hit two birds with one stone—we’ve defeated Caerula Adamas and some other enemies we’ve never met before, all in one go.

Atsushi: And now we can hopefully resolve any issues without magical fighting?

Kinshirou: I suppose…

Ryuu: So make sure to hit subscribe!

Yumoto: And cuddle that notification bell!

Kinshirou: No. What are you saying? This isn’t going to be uploaded anywhere. You don’t have to act like anyone’s going to see this.

He looks at someone off camera.

Kinshirou: Noboribetsu, no. You are not uploading this. You’ll make a fool out of all of us! Kumi—