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The Witch, The shapeshifter, and the bitch(es)

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Levi shifted his car into park, unbuckling his seatbelt and freeing himself from the leather seat. He snatched up his briefcase before closing the door and locking the BMW.

The 34-year-old was exhausted and ready to flop onto his bed and cuddle his husband. Work was getting boring and more irritable than fun, and Levi was contemplating whether or not it'd be worth quitting and working as a freelancer or something. At least that way, he'd spend more time with Eren.

Yeah, at least he'd spend more time with Eren.

After fiddling with the apartment keys, Levi pushed open the front door and entered the familiar apartment. It smelt of a small bakery—specifically a bakery that was family-owned and baked family recipes.

Those are the best bakeries.

"Eren, I'm home," Levi announced his presence, throwing his briefcase to the side next to the multiple pairs of shoes the household members owned and slipping his coat onto the coat rack. He rolled the 'R' in the man's name, his french accent always coming out to accentuate it.

Said man poked his head around the hallway, scanning until his eyes fell onto Levi. A kind smile took over his facials as he straightened himself and rushed toward the short male.

"Levi! Welcome home," He cheered, engulfing his husband into his infamous bear hug. Levi reflectively melted into the hug, resting his head on Eren's shoulder (as much as he could considering the evident height difference).

He'd never get tired of being welcomed like this. It made him feel special because he knew that as friendly as Eren was, no one gets this level of affection from him.

"How was your day, darling?- Come, I've made you some Quiche for dinner," Eren added on the end as he ushered his lover into the dining room.

Levi sighed as he seated himself, sinking into the uncomfortable, wooden chair. 

We need to get some new fucking chairs; Levi mentally added another chore to his to-do list.

"I'm losing motivation to show at that god-forsaken job." Levi informed Eren, staring off at the miniature model pirate ship he was building.

"Eh? Why is that?" Eren called from the kitchen. There was a clinking of dishes colliding together from where Eren fussed. Nothing unfamiliar in the Jaeger-Ackerman household.

"It's boring. Nothing exciting or new happens; it's the same every day."

"Is that not a good thing? You prefer things to be familiar, do you not?" Eren inquired, appearing from the comfort of the kitchen with a platter of Quiche in his gloved hands. 

"I miss my old job. It was exhilarating, darling - adrenaline was pumping through me every second." Levi fantasized, gracefully accepting the plate of food offered with a murmured 'thank you.'

He had been a hitman in his younger years - back when he and Eren were still getting to know each other romantically. He had taken up the job upon request from his uncle, Kenny. It had grown on him after a while, and leaving it when he married Eren was hard. Don't take that as him regretting marrying Eren - it's quite the opposite. He didn't want to risk putting his precious darling in harm's way, so he resigned. Looking back on it now, Levi supposes he underestimated Erens ability to protect himself if needed.

Eren sat down, taking off his oven gloves with a relieved sigh. "Careful; the food is still hot," He warned.

"I think that teaching is good for you, sweetheart. You're getting older - you need to wind down. Don't harsh your body through life; you'll drop dead earlier."

"Oi, you sayin' I can't care for myself?"

Eren laughed softly, shaking his head at Levi. "Of course not," He started, lifting his arm behind him to take out his messy bun. "I'm just saying, honey. You're married now - why not let yourself enjoy that side of life for a little while?"

Levi frowned at Eren, eyebrows furrowing. "I do? I quite enjoy my time with you, Eren."

Eren opened his mouth to speak before being cut off by Levi.

"You fucking brat, that's hypocritical of you. You don't get to run off like a wild child and then tell me to tone my life down."

"I am younger than you, Levi."

"The fuck does that got to do with anything?" 

Eren shrugged, smirking evilly at his husband. "It doesn't, but I'll forever remind you of that factor."

Levi narrowed his eyes at the former.

Fucking immature little shit. Before Levi retorted, Eren decided to return the favour by cutting him off.

"What do you want to happen, then?"

"Eh?" Levi replied dumbly, the change in conversation too sudden.

"You said nothing new ever happens. What is something new that you want to happen?"

Levi blinked.


Eren blinked.




"Huh?" Eren perked, voice high and confused.

Levi wants drama. The same Levi who refuses to share about his personal life. Levi, who prefers everything to stay the same so that he wouldn't have to deal with drama, has admitted that he wants the same thing that he avoids happening at his workplace.

"Are you sick?" Eren asked worriedly, leaning over the table to press the back of his hand to Levi's forehead.

"What? No, I'm not - sit back down; leaning over the table is disrespectful," Levi swatted the man's hand away, urging him back to his respective seat. 

"But... Drama?"

Levi nodded slowly, staring at Eren as if he were the weird one.


"Jaeger, are you going to continue attempting to confirm something I've already confirmed or are you going to shut your pretty trap?"


"Thank you. What's so strange about me wanting something else for a change?" Levi inquired, putting the first piece of his dinner into his mouth after waiting for it to cool down.

"Well, because it's... It's drama! You always make a big fuss about me stirring up a storm; now you want to do it? What was that you said earlier about being hypocritical?"

Levi lazily rolled his eyes, tapping his fork on the edge of his plate. "I never said I'm going to cause drama, Jaeger."

"Then who?" 

Levi sat his cutlery down, lifting his eyes to stare at the ceiling for a while.

He sat in deep thought, running different possibilities through his head.

I could put a fake note in one of the students' lockers. Maybe a love confession. No, if I get caught doing that then I'll be fired... But then again, I'd probably quit before they find out.

Levi huffed out a sigh.

No, teacher drama has always been superior to students. Maybe he'd take pictures of students changing and plant them into a teacher's computer. 

"Levi, don't do anything illegal."

"Why not?" Levi focused his eyes back onto Eren, quirking an eyebrow. 


"Do you have any better ideas?"

Eren took a couple of moments before responding.

"I think I do."


Another eye roll, sigh and discussion between the married couple resulted in one of the best plans.

Oh yes. This plan was going to leave every. Single. Shit sticks. Mouth. Agape.