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Pullus sem

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Pacing around the Explodatorium as one of Plague Knight’s minions is always nerve-racking. For instance, if he’s in a good mood, one would only get one bomb to the forehead. If the boss is in a bad mood, however, there are many things he might do, including, but not limited to: experimentation, multiple bombs thrown at one’s head, among other things.

Today, however, seems a bit different, for Plague Knight and Mona have been holed up in their laboratory, concocting something odd there for the past hour or so. A cauldron that previously suspended a familiar-smelling substance in boiling water lays empty, only a few droplets of water remaining.

“I wonder what the Boss and Mona are making today?” One Plague Minion ponders, adjusting his glasses.

“I’ll bet it’s a potion of some kind, Geralt,” another Plague Minion replies, crossing her arms, “though what could it be for?”

One of the minions sets his bag down. “If I had to guess, Lucy, I’d bet it has to do with explosives. You know how much Boss and his girlfriend – I mean, Mona – love explosives.”

“Maybe it’s a stealth potion!” Suggests a larger minion.

“Ian, you idiot, why would Plague Knight want to smell like food if he’s gonna be sneaking around!?” Retorts another minion.

Various sounds from the lab entice the curious minions to take a peek inside. The minions, named Geralt, Lucy, Murdok, Ian, and Clark respectively, carefully look into the laboratory, where Mona and Plague Knight are working on their project.

Gallus gallus domesticus!” Mona calls, tossing chunks of the boiled substance into a pot.

Apium graveolens!” Bellows Plague Knight, jumping up and throwing pieces of something green in.

“Wow… Those are some fancy words.” Clark breathes as he and the others watch.

“Hee hee! You got the Malus pumila, right?” Plague Knight cackles.

Mona nods in response. “Sure do, Plaguey. You got the Vitis vinifera?” At Plague Knight’s nod, the two dump their respective ingredients into the pot.

“We should really be going now… Boss’ll get real mad if he finds out we’ve been spying!” Lucy says as Mona and Plague Knight discuss something, though Lucy is shushed by her coworkers.

Sodium Chloride!” Plague Knight shouts, tossing into the pot… well, salt. Of all the things the Plague Minions recognize…

“And now, Plaguey, for the final ingredient before we mix it all together…” Mona grins devilishly.

With a frustrated huff, Lucy begins to drag her coworkers away from the area, at least so they won’t be seen. More discussion is heard from Plague Knight and Mona, though they can only catch things about a few things, such as, “tangy,” and, “mixable.” Finally, the two bellow out together one barbaric word:

“Mayonnaise!!”

“Wait… did Boss and Mona just say… mayonnaise???” Geralt gapes in disbelief.

“What kind of a potion uses mayonnaise?!” Ian grumbles with a furrowed brow.

“You guys be quiet, Boss is gonna hear us!” Murdok hisses.

Through all their arguing, however, they don’t notice Plague Knight and Mona standing right behind them. “We knew you were here the whole time, guys.” Mona says, startling the minions.

“Mona! Boss!” “We were, uh, just passing by, and…” “Circumstantial evidence! That’s all you have on us!” “Don’t blow us up, please!!” “What were you making anyway? And are you going to refrain from using it on us?” come from the panicked Plague Minions.

Plague Knight laughs at the pleas from his subordinates. “Boom! We call it… Pullus sem!

Pullus sem?” Geralt blinks. “Doesn’t that mean… chicken salad?”

“Dang right!” Mona replies with a toothy grin. “We, uh, didn’t really have any potions we planned on making, so we tried out this recipe I’ve heard is pretty popular these days. Something different.”

“And devious!” Plague Knight adds, “Hee hee! Who in the world thought of putting fruit and mayonnaise in the same meal?”

After a very brief moment of silence, Murdok speaks up. “So… you’re not gonna blow us up, Boss?”

“Nah,” Mona scoffs, “but we were gonna share the chicken salad with you guys. We made too much for the two of us to eat alone. Who wants some?”

And so, Plague Knight, Mona, and their minions enjoy some freshly made chicken salad, sharing a moment where no bombs or potions are used whatsoever. And though that will definitely change later, sometimes it’s a good idea to do something different once in a while.