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and stars were shining in the abyss with the rust

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your placer freckles i have memorized
for once and all inside i’ve buried it
that day was warm, your cheek was like the sky
it was like wind that teases nose and weeps

your eyes were blue and cold, they were like frost
i’ve locked it all inside my little heart
and stars across the sky are rusty dots
and you’re shining with the smile like sun

you know, i want you back so badly that it hurts
i wait for you and for your eyelash wave
like feathers, all those memories unfold
and like the first time it will be embraced
your placer freckles, frosty eyes and smiles like sun
and our kisses that those lips were sealed with
and stars were shining in the abyss with the rust
i will remember all of it forever

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you’ll dangle your feet
upon my shoulders
so careful
because you know
you can
because you know
my love to you
is like a loving dog
so loyal
and it hurts badly
and i’m scared as fuck
because we both know
you don’t need much
because we both know
you ache for dust
and you’re dust yourself
and all those ashes
you burn like bridges
with a strike of match
upon my shoulders
you’re dangling feelings
they’re cold as corpses
of my love

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on that old mattress with holes
we made love to each other
our love is a stain on the cloth
it’ll tarnish and fade out, it smothers

you’re like a bedspring so cold
so spiky and mean and so aching
i will be your heart ripped out of chest
it gets cold in my hands by seconds

your mouth tastes like sweat and a salt
you taste like your tears on your lashes
you’ll beat your knuckles to blood
it will get easier later

your kisses are desperate, rough
you just can’t kiss the other way
you’re like a wound that bleeds bad
like scar on my skin, you’re staying

our love is like a stain on the sheets
so dirty and pointless, muddy
i think i taste like your tears
"please stay" your whisper is blurry

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kill me
i would be still so warm
kill me
as if you’d never loved me so
i’m making wishes blindly once more
i bet on lame horses and lose it all
i call for you
as if the skies have answers
you’re vanishing away and i just chase
i will be crying out again
just like the first time
and you will kill me
as if you’d never loved me still

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love me
like you love pills
love me
like you love lying
we’re stuck together here in a cell
like beasts
we’re at each other’s throats
like we’re dying

love me
like you love the lines of snow
the ones you like to sniff and have a taste of
love me
at least a little bit of more
at least pretend to be the one
that you’re meant to

love me
like you love all those shiny coins
the ones you like to steal from other pockets
love me
like trains love their rail roads
i will be track – you’ll run on me like trains do

you run so far that misery is thriving
so far away until there’s nothing more
i will be all: the pills and coins,
the railroads and the lying
i know that you won’t love me evermore

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two men in a boat
(to say nothing of the sorrow)
two men in a boat
(to say nothing of the guilt)
who are we and whom have we broken?
there’s nowhere to swim to, you say

i want to drown you in this boat so badly
or in this heart of mine instead
i don’t know why i feel so cold and empty
i don’t know why i want to wail

i can’t remember when we sailed off
i don’t know how long does it take
and you don’t want to let us let go
i don’t know how to save our fate

shall two of us just drown together?
i want to go down light in here
and my heart beats so loud somewhere
and somewhere your voice says “just swim”

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i’m falling in love once again
with you, with your eyes and your freckles
your soft fingers being so rough and
your laughter that’s burning my ears

i’m falling in love once again
and hating you even more
like burnt out field full of grain
my memory will be as lost

i hate you for making me weak
i run away just like before
i cry and i’m trying to seek
my life without you anymore

i hate us for being apart
i hate us for being so foolish
your freckles shine in the sky
please laugh in my ears like you used to