Chapter Text
“Hello Prof. Park! I know this might be a repetitive email already given the load of prerog emails you have already received but I’m still going to try. I am Kim Sunoo from the College of…” Sunoo trails off for Jungwon to react to. Halos wala na inatupag ito kundi i-recite nang paulit-ulit yung draft email niya para sa isang GE sana.
“Wag ka na kasi mag-midyear.” Jungwon huffs somewhere behind him. Paano, SAIS was really just a fever dream, eh first day pa lang ng general registration lahat naka-blue square na. Wala na ma-add to cart. Wala na ma-checkout para sa lower batch kung hindi man mag-crash yung site na gateway or oracle variant.
“Easy for you to say, Mr. 1.2 GWA na Batch A pa.”
“Isang sem ka lang late!”
“Gusto ko na matapos!” Sunoo cranes his neck in this silly annoyance pagkatapos niya maramdaman ang mga hikbing tawa ng kaibigan na nakasandal sa likod niya.
“Eh bakit?” Jungwon starts packing his things lalo’t yung Taft Buendia na bus eh lagi nadaan ng mga 5:00 pm. May idadaan pa rin kasi ito sa colsec niya before going home for the end sem. “Sabi nga ni tita nung isang araw wag ka magmadali kasi ikaw na lang naman ang baby angel nila na nag-aaral.”
Baby angel. Mommy talaga.
“Alam mo kasi buong buhay natin nagpaka-competetive na tayo sa acads. Imagine simula elem purga sa kumon tas nung hs naman tayo sa science high school pa tayo sumugal. I don’t want to be a corporate slave after college either.” Sunoo looks at the last stacks of paper by his desk and remembers to donate them by the xerox shop near their dorm.
“Corporate slave,” Jungwon mocks as if the possibility was really rare. Kung tutuusin naman kasi, they could afford attending the money schools. “Sumaya naman tayo ah! Tingnan mo apaka-pogi nung crush ko kung hindi pa tayo nag-UP, I don’t think the blue school would let me know just how disconnected I am from the reality of life.”
Bubuka na sana ang bibig ni Sunoo para gatungan pabalik si Jungwon, especially their previous plans of admitting themselves to that blue school just because when his phone notification pinged.
“Si Nishimura na siguro to, nagpapasama sa SU para bawiin yung yoga membership niya. Ewan ko ba sa batang yon, sali sali na lang ng org activity hindi pa binabasa nang maayos.”
But there was no Nishimura. There was no: ‘Kuya Uno! Dito na me.” Instead, it was a gmail notification that had Sunoo crossing Jungwon’s suitcases in a heartbeat.
“Ayan na! Super bilis naman ni Prof. Park!” Sunoo somehow squeals.
Until he stops. Until he can’t.
“Ano na?” Jungwon questions as he zips his Kipling gym bag. The sound was pinning Sunoo away from the reality of the dilemma he’s currently in.
“Gago,” Sunoo mumbles weakly. “Jusko Won….”
In front of him, what was supposed to be his Proffesor Park’s reply to a comprehensive prerogative email in one of his GE’s ended up being a doomed reply from an upperclassman he would change souls for to never cross paths with.
“Bakit si Park Sunghoon yung nag-reply sa akin?! Sabi ko naman sayo mali yung spelling mo ng first name ni sir Park! Sungoon lang yung kanya!”
From: [email protected]
hello, yung email ni sir ay [email protected] walang H.
and kim sunoo? kailan mo balak kunin yung binder mo na nalaglag? i would not be taking any midyear courses, please reply asap para mabigay ko na bago ako umuwi.
Sunoo somehow meets Sunghoon in a way no one would ever want to meet someone.
No, wala naman kababalaghan na nangyari. It wasn’t a creepy situation which would make the delicate boy run for the hills and demand his parents to come pick him up because the province life isn’t it for college.
It was more of a…visual casualty. Or baka nga scenery casualty.
Given the limited classes because of the pandemic set-up, Sunoo’s lab class was only once a week. Tuwing Thursday lang naman siya na-attend ng physical class niya while Jungwon needed to literally live inside his college building as a BS Bio student.
Kaya rin siguro he opted for them to stay sa dorms kahit his course didn’t really demand him to show up physically. And knowing Jungwon, the other would never let him live if he didn’t say yes to dorming a couple of cities away from their comfortable villa houses somewhere in Makati.
And Sunghoon..oh god…kuya Sunghoon, Sunoo knows he should at least call the older that way but how can he? Bago pa nga sila magkakilala sa first name basis, ibang parte na ng katawan ng nakakatanda ang nasilayan niya.
‘It was dark!’ Sunoo cried inside his mind that day. Paano, probably the downfall of being a college student without really experiencing the culture was not being built for sudden org parties kung saan open house and every college could join.
Bilang freshman o nalipasan na nga, hindi naman saulo ni Sunoo ang campus and he was too shy to repeat the directions kung saan nga ba yung cr daw sa may SU building. Jungwon was having the time of his life with his dimples out beside a guy who had the sharpest eyes na Jongseong ata pangalan. So it ended with Sunoo being alone…sa madilim na bahagi ng SU banda sa may likod because ain’t no way a cr would be comfortably placed inside, he figures.
And there he uses his phone to flash the way kasi parang may mini staircase pababa. Sunoo squints for any sign of the comfort room, steps kind of shaky from the punch that his seniors thrusted in their faces.
Then he sees a pair of shoes. Medyo pale, and the jeans were pooling around the ankle of whoever this is. Sunoo feels his gut trembling at the slow realization while the spotlight of his phone ay nakatutok lang sa paa…until he raises it.
To see two globes of pale flesh.
And a frowning Sunghoon who was squinting at the new found light while he relieved himself on the open grass.
“You could literally say na lasing ka noon at hindi mo na tanda kung anong hulma ng pwet ni kuya Sunghoon. It’s really easy and believable.” Nishimura reasons nung sumaglit ito sa dorm nila so they could send Jungwon off.
“Ang dali para sa inyo like it’s literally easier said than being done.” Sunoo huffs again, mind going haywire habang iniisip niya kung paano kukunin yung binder na nalaglag niya ng gabi na iyon.
“Sun, that’s literally what you’ll do. Sasabihin mo lang. It’s easy nga!”
“Jungwon,” Sunoo groans and hauls the other’s suitcase up para makaalis na ito. “Worry about yourself. Di ka pa naman marunong mag-commute.”
Nishimura, something they’ve grown to call Riki, laughs at his two older friends.
“Kuya Jungwon would proably yell ‘para’ pag baba na siya.”
“Ay hindi ba pwede gawin yon sa bus?”
Laughter envelops their overpriced dorm while Sunoo thinks of ways to get through his midyear…without crossing paths with Sunghoon na—
Oh god, naalala niya na naman.
Processing the prerog form was really a pain. Hindi rin gets ni Sunoo yung timeline of signatures between sa FIC and colsec kasi parang nagsasayang lang sila ng oras kakahintay.
Then again, sino ba siya para magreklamo pa eh nakalusot na nga siya ng prerog for a very in demand GE class. Pati siya hindi makapaniwala when Prof. Park, THE PARK he only needed to associate himself with replied with a confirmation of an available slot.
His professor was generous that he could cry kasi on the same day, Sunoo was already added sa google classroom nila and was invited for their first synch sa Monday.
It was Sunday today, meaning marami tao sa campus. Uwian din and more or so, marami silang ka-batch na mag-iinom for a sem ender bago magkanya kanya sa bakasyon. Earlier that day after Jungwon left, si Nishimura naman yung umuwi and the younger was going straight to Japan kaya it left Sunoo feeling a little restless and empty.
“Ah shit, no groceries.” He groans when he was able to notice yung pantry nila ni Jungwon. Nishimura was not dorming with them but he eats like he is kaya ubos kung ubos kahit every week pa sila mag-grocery. Sunoo knows he needed to go out. Yung guard sa dorm building nila eh bet siya para sa anak nito na high school daw so kahit may curfew ng 11:00, Sunoo gets his free pass with a promise of saying hi sa anak nito.
He keeps it to himself that he goes by the spectrum of colors. Sorry manong, I don't go by the pussycats.
So that’s how he ends up at the local K-Mart which reminds him of their neighborhood back in Seoul. Marami kasing tambay don na students, older and minsan mga may itsura pa. Sunoo gets himself a generous supply of the triangle kimpab, not once noticing the figure behind him who was hugging a good amount of Soju bottles.
“Ang tagal mong hindi bumuli ah,” bati sa kanya nung babae na cashier. Being half korean meant he was a regular here kaso nga after that Sunghoon incident, parang sindikato na nagtatago tong si Sunoo.
“Opo eh, dami exams buti nga end sem na po tsaka nairaos na kaya lang need mag-summer class.” Sunoo answers easily, taking his time to place his items.
He hears it faintly once he was able to place the last pack of Japaghetti on the counter. And he hears it again nung akmang chi-chikahin niya pa sana si ate na i-reserve siya ng Melona na strawberry next week.
Someone was coughing—certainly not the kind that was naturally occuring. Masyadong provocative ito and then he hears it. “Matagal pa ba yan?”
Sunoo was never one to runaway from his problems. Kahit mere situations of inconvenience, he was responsibly owning up to it given na rin how he was brought up in a business household. Kaya he couldn’t understand what was so different with this Park Sunghoon that meeting the older’s eyes made him want to bawl his eyes out.
In the middle of a shop.
“Matagal pa ba?” Sunghoon repeats when Sunoo only stares at him in disbelief. The older was wearing an oversized hoodie as droplets of sweat ran by the sides of his face. Baka galing workout or gym or nag-jogging.
Or nag workout siya tas nag-squats because the way his ass looked that night—
Sunoo feels the first roll of his tears cascading out of his left eye.
“I—uhmmm,” he starts while he crushes his wallet against his chest. “I—hindi ko…”
Sunghoon up close with the lights decently shining on him was achingly surreal. The boy was too pretty to be seen in this proximity that Sunoo understands the howling of his chest.
Hindi niya na rin pa namalayan si ate na kinalabit siya para ibigay yung pinamili niya. Or yung sukli na nilagay na rin ni ate sa palad niya na nanginginig.
Sunoo continues to stare while he could still feel the humiliating tears rising by the corner of his face. Sunghoon was the first one to break his gaze, courtesy na rin sa mga tao na nakapila sa likod nito and the older quickly pays for his items.
With a heavy hand, Sunoo wipes at his eyes and pathetically laughs at himself for even crying. Siya na nga yung dapat mag-sorry bakit parang siya pa yung aping api? He thinks about this while he rushes outside to save face…and himself.
Tangina. That was the only word circulating Sunghoon’s head as he tries to act nonchalant by the counter. The bottles of Soju which Jake and Jongseong requested for him to buy before they go home tomorrow were painting his chest dry.
If humiliating himself was a race, sigurado si Sunghoon that he would’ve secured first place effortlessly.
Once he was able to get his bearings back, madiin na pinikit ni Sunghoon ang mga mata bago lumabas upang makabalik na sa dorm nila. Siguro naman, malayo na ang nalakad ni Sunoo at hindi na sila magpapangabot pa. Out campus din naman yung dorm niya kaso weekend kasi kaya medyo maraming tao and Sunghoon kind of hates the crowd if Jake and Jongseong were not with him.
“K-Kuya…”
Putangina. Kahit tres na GWA basta wag niyo na ako ipaharap dito.
Sunghoon doesn’t really remember what went down that night. He blames it on Jake who was sobbing his heart out after getting a 15 out of a 35 item quiz; and on top of that, nanghingi pa ata ng space yung jowa niya na si Heeseung. Being Jake’s confidante, alam naman ni Sunghoon that he was not good with words so he resorted to drinking it away for Jake.
And that landed him with a heavy bladder, samahan pa ng stress sa isang GE niya because of lousy groupmates and he drinks the last bits of Bacardi like it was the only water he could get his hands on. He didn’t have it in him to decently find the bathroom sa may SU building na pinagkukumpulan ng mga tao and he figures mostly freshies ang mga ito kasi mga naka-ID lace pa.
So he certainly was out of his head when he decided to get ass naked, far too confident that no one else would go there. Wala naman kasi talaga dapat until Sunoo’s phone bared his ass to shame.
Kim Sunoo—apparently a Sophomore according sa binder niya na naiwan nung nagtama yung paningin nila nung gabi na yon.
How the scene plays out from that night was similar to the way they stood right now. The younger was timidly standing by the shop’s door, halatang hinihintay siya nito. The paper bag with the things he bought was pressed tightly against his chest. And Sunghoon hates how everything else was too clear now.
Kim Sunoo was fairly adorable now that he was sober. The younger’s eyes were hazel that Sunghoon was sure that color was too rare to be natural.
He was neat too and pale, yung tipong parang alagang alaga nung bata. His clothes were simple but oddly defining, letting Sunghoon conclude just bits of the younger's existence. If it helps, wearing a Polo Club shirt on a normal Sunday night for a college student was a little...over so Sunghoon assumes he probably came from money.
“Kuya Sunghoon…um,” Sunoo stutters out again. Nakalabas na yung mga bumili sa likod nila pero nakatayo pa rin sila sa may entrance.
“Tabi muna tayo.” Sunghoon finds himself saying just to break the grief of things. Marahan niyang iniwas ang nakababata sa mga nadaan na tao upang makapagusap sila sa may tabi.
Sunghoon bites the inside of his cheeks when he was able to take a mild whiff of the younger’s cologne. Baby bench, yung green. It’s literally him.
“Gusto ko lang po…shit.” Sunoo tries again with reddening cheeks. Nakasandal ito sa may glass pane nung shop while Sunghoon towers over him. “Sorry po talaga. Hindi ko po alam ano pa pwede ko gawin pero sorry po ng sobra. Kinalimutan ko naman na po lahat!”
Sunoo ends up bowing his head in front of the older. Ito naman si Sunghoon, hindi na maipinta ang mukha. Kanina pa nakanganga ang bibig niya pero walang lumalabas na salita. Ramdam niya na rin yung paglamig nung Soju sa kamay niya.
Uuwi na naman siya bukas. They could just forget about this next semester and who knows, baka hindi na naman uli sila magkasalubong ng landas sa laki ba naman ng campus. Right? Ipipilit niya, gagawan niya ng paraan.
Loss for words and just anything to deviate him from acknowledging the other's apology, Sunghoon proceeds to dismantle his dignity. “Gusto mo na ba kunin yung binder mo?”